Day 2043 seeing my lovely friend Lea and maybe my first panic attack?!?

Another pouring wet, dark and windy day today….. and cold. Our temperatures have dropped to 4°C which I have been feeling all day.

So, I’ve never told you that my lovely friend, Lea has been really ill these last few months.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that we almost lost her back in September when she had a perforated bowel and a very nasty infection.

The day we flew to Rhodes, I hadn’t heard from her in over a week and I was so worried but her lovely sister and friend kept me in the loop. About 10 minutes before we were due to take off, Lea messaged me and I can’t tell you how amazing that was… it was the beginning of a long recovery for her.

So tonight’s the first time I’ve seen her since then and I demanded every detail.

It was sooooooo lovely to see her and have a good hug. What a relief.

We had our usual Starbucks and I push for more. My first Toffee Nut Latte of the year!

I feel so desperate for her, so sorry for everything she had to go through…. My eyes start to swim…. My vision blurs, she’s talking but I can hardly hear. I’m telling myself I am healthy and I am safe.

My face breaks out on a cold sweat. I am suddenly roasting. I can hardly see.

I look to the floor as I turn to tell her I’m really sorry but I’m not feeling great and I think I need to lie down.

I don’t….. but I have to put my head down to stop it from spinning. I honestly thought I was going to faint.

I didn’t.

I hear her try to tell me to take my fleece off but can only manage half of it.

She gets me water and bring the Starbucks first aider with her.

I have pins and needles in my arms and my fingers are tingling.

I tell him that she’s the one who I should be looking after!!

I’m starting to feel better with some water and can lift my head but he’s concerned about the pins and needles in my hands.

They get the shopping centre first aid…. 3 of them come out.

By this time I’m better but the pins and needles carry on for about a half hour.

We all agree that it’s most likely an anxiety panic attack.

After everything she’s been through and I’m the one that almost passed out?!

I feel awful for everything she’s been through and I think I was so overwhelmed that she had to face all that.

I’m so glad that she’s on the mend!

So lovely to have seen her but just wish I hadn’t caused all that drama!

Cringe.

Oh and the Silverburn staff were so amazing.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️