Deacon Blue were great last night.

There were lots of songs I didn’t know but loads of the old faithfuls.

Dignity was the highlight! Actually Real Gone Kid was pretty good too!

It was a last minute chance to go and I wasn’t nervous at all, felt comfortable in what I was wearing and didn’t feel dizzy high up in the Glasgow Hydro either. Mrs antidepressants can do gigs no problem now! ✅

Glasgow looked lovely last night.

The Hydro.

We had great visibility seats.

Caryn, me and Rachel two doors down!

I really enjoyed it!

The road was closed for roadworks on the way hom, and Rachel knew all the shortcuts, but the sky looked ghostly.

We got to bed at midnight and were up running with Claire at 6.45am.

It was actually a good run despite being shattered when I woke up. 😆 5.4kms in the bag!

Then off out with the doggos while I was still hot and sweaty!

I came back home, showered and dressed and headed out for a food shop.

My lovely clean car that I washed on Thursday after work, has been dive bombed by birds 🫣

Once I got the shopping away, I cleared out all of our clothes and reorganised the wardrobe… not just my clothes but Craig’s too.

I really am in a clear out mood just now and I love it.

I sat down after 3 and wrote in my Donna Ashworth journal Words to Live By.

I then looked for 3 random poems from 3 of Donna’s books.

I’m shattered now and can’t stop yawning 😆😘

Hope you’re all having a lovely day!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

These photos say it all.

September 2018 to September 2025.

I had a lovely husband, 3 dogs, soon to be 4 and a lovely cottage in Scotland… but I was so dreadfully unhappy.

I’d built myself a life around what everyone else wanted.

I liked what you liked, I encouraged you to talk even when I got a really bad energy from you, I tried to get you onside, I tried to make you like me by loving everything you did and said.

I made you feel special so that you would be nice to me.

I constantly sought out your appraisal, wanted to know that you liked me, wanted to justify that I was ok if you thought I was.

I worked all the hours god sent.

I tried to be the best version of myself but if I’m honest it was the version of me that I thought you expected.

Obviously the YOU here is everyone who was more important than me. I thought everyone as more important than me.

I had zero self worth and I was so very tired of being me.

In August 2019 I just wanted peace from the pain and noise inside my head and that lasted until well into 2020.

The second photo again in September 2025. What a difference!!

I am finally just being me.

I have boundaries.

I do what I want, when I want.

Life is still hard, there are ups and downs,

Not every day is easy but I look for the glimmers of joy in every single day.

This is life.

Right here.

Right now.

And tonight I’m very excited to be going to see Deacon Blue at the last minute!

Someone can’t go so I got the chance of a ticket…. And I’m so excited!!

I’ve spent the day clearing out our huge shed and I’ve loved doing it…. Just as much as I loved clearing the stock at work.

Before and after in big pics.

I haven’t thrown anything out yet, I’ve just found a place for all things the same and put them together so we can go through them and clear out. I can’t wait. I hate clutter!!

Oh and I got the loveliest gift from my lovely friend Lea.

Awwww how lovely is that?!?

Still missing our lovely girl. 🫶🏼

Lea also sent me this today.

These three are getting SOOOOO much love.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a surprisingly lovely day. ☀️☀️☀️

It was only 13°C when I drove home but it felt lovely in the sun, especially after all the rain as wind that we’ve had.

I carried on with my stock check and stock tidy up. It’s been a great week sorting through everything.

I had a lovely night out with the Hookers. We headed to the Boatyard in Lochwinnoch. I can’t believe I’ve never been before.

We had deluxe hot chocolate and meringues and peppermint slices and I was so excited I only took the photo of the hot chocolate!

It was exceptional!!

So were the cakes.

It was a lovely wee chat night and no crochet.

I’ve been getting the dogs up really early every morning just so I can spend time with them before I go to work.

Oh shame this is a bit blurry. I got them to pose!

Calaidh had destroyed her toy today and it’s made me laugh…. Look at the eyes 👀 😆😆😆

So I don’t think I have much else to say. It’s 7pm and it’s almost dark.

I’m still not ready 😆😆

The weather looks ok for this weekend so it will be nice to spend some time outside after the torrential rain of last weekend.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

I’ve had a great day at work today.

I am reorganising our stock and I am in reorganisational heaven.

It makes my head so happy.

In Donna Ashworth’s journalling FB pages today, we’ve been talking about beating ourselves up.

I wrote a post where I said we have to listen to our gut and go with the decision that feels right.

Someone said….Make the decision that I can make peace with….. that hits the nail on the head.

Making the wrong choice because we feel we “should” causes resistance, and resistance causes us stress and ultimately pain.

Let’s stop beating ourselves up for some of the decisions we make. If we book tickets for something and don’t want to go, that is ok. If we promise to do something and change our minds, then that is ok too.

I’m rambling… as I do. 😆

My random poem today.

A week after we lost Khalessi I still can’t stop cuddling with the pups!

I’m out out with the Hookers tonight. The pub is closed for filming of the show Counsels so we’re off for coffee (decaf!) and cake!!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was exhausted last night and just couldn’t put “pen”to “paper”.

We’ve got so much going on with the sale of Craigs house in Kilmarnock.

We have the best holiday ever.

We lose our lovely Khaleesi.

We get told the house is going to a closing date.

The mortgage company screw things up.

Life is a massive rollercoaster and I think I need to get off for a rest. (Again)

I thought our holiday was a rest from what we’d gone through this year.

Actually I wonder if it was to prepare us for what was to come.

I try to live a positive life these days which is MILES from the person I used to be.

Deep down I know I need to be in this place for everything to work out. This is exactly the path I’m meant to be on. Wow I feel calm actually typing that.

I decided to open Donna Ashworth Joy Chode You… a random page.

My word for October is LOVE. Once again the book knows…. 🫶🏼♥️ WOW!

I’m going to read that a few times and take it all in.

Donna also says…. If there is a secret to u locking a wonderful life it is to be fearless enough to take pleasure from every simple day.

Wow.

I’ve seen 12:12 and 13:13 and 14:14 up until 19:19 so far today.

I swear I don’t look for them. I randomly glance at my phone and there is is. It makes me smile so much.

That’s a pleasure for me in the simple every day while I’m rolling that rollercoaster wandering what it might throw at me next. (That’s a whole lot of metaphors that didn’t quite go together. But that made me smile too!

And breathe.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I was going to call this the perfect Sunday and then I remembered…

But you know what, in the grand scheme of things… so far this has been the perfect Sunday except for the obvious.

Awwww that made me smile. I woke at 5 for an hour and fell back until 8.31am.

Caryn and Rachel were running at 8.30 and I thought I had missed it but I was determined not to set an alarm this morning. They needed up not running until 9.30am so I joined them.

I spent that hour looking at lots of motivational post all non FB…. As usual with the synchronicity, there’s lots about love and self love and that’s my word for the month.

I was also used as a puppy trampoline.

I’m really chuffed I’ve run almost 10kms this weekend and enjoyed it.

We were overtaken at one point but one of the guys in the village who stormed past us… he said it was because he was running down hill.

So were we!!!!!!!! 😆

We also stopped to speak to this beautiful horse.

Look at the colour of me!!!

We went for a food shop, the first since we got back from holiday.

Craig picked up 4 cans of sardines for the dogs and had to put one back. 🥺

Shopping put away, jammies on, fire on and so many cuddles with the pups.

I’m watching Sullivan’s Crossing on Netflix… cheesy tv but it’s exactly what I need.

Then I opened a random Donna Ashworth Joy Chose You page again….

Then this!!!!

My Sunday has been a gift.

So I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have a great week ahead.

We have to look for the joy despite what this week may throw at us.

Khaleesi has the ball 🥎

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I woke at 6am. I’d been awake a few times through the night but my amazing ear plugs meant I never heard any of the storm.

It was WILD when we went to bed!

I had the alarm set for 6.25 and we were making a call about this mornings run… we said we weren’t running at 6am as a few of us were awake.

Then at 6.30am we said we would. 😆

It was dry until we got soaked!! Claire and I ran 4.5kms.

There were twigs everywhere.

So I decided to walk the dogs while I was still soaking but we’re not going that way….. flood!

So we went this way instead and we had to walk through this!!

The burn was really high but looked like it may have been higher through the night.

Then what did I do?!?!

I got my wellies on, picked up my trusty trowel and went back to the first flood and cleared it!!!

It was really deep, 3/4 the way up my wellies at its worst and I had so much fun.

I have found my vocation in life.

It was so satisfying.

At one point the water actually gurgled exactly like it would do draining down the plug hole. Even writing this makes me want to go back out and do it again. 😆

I’m not sure the trowel did me any good though 😆

When I finally got home after Craig was wondering what happened to me.. he said, I need to tell you something I wasn’t going to tell you.

I’d just finished saying that Khaleesi has taught me to appreciate every single minute with the dogs and to love them and cuddle them etc….

“Calaidh chewed your sock… do you still love them as much now?! ” he says….

Yes I do. I will hunt the socks down and buy another pair as they are my absolute favourite.

Normally I’d be RAGING…. Calaidh is known for a good chew of things left around…. But today I accept blame for leaving it where she could get to it and go to the little gift shop and buy myself another pair!

I had a lovely chat with Gayle and she gave us a lovely card and gift.

I then popped in to Curiosity to get Craig some of his favourite coffee beans and some carrot cake. I may have had a cake and coffee in there myself as I laughed at the chat.

My friend’s grandson served me, or at least pressed the buttons on the till and he made me smile so much. He’s just such a gorgeous wee boy. “Have a nice day!” 🫶🏼

I then came home and filled out my Donna Ashworth journal and looked for a random poem again. This was today’s… just after I’d read someone telling me i should look in the mirror and say i love you, to practise self love.

Wow.

I’m fully invested in this next one from the lovely Lisa at Coffee & Quotes.

We also got a lovely photo in a frame from Claire…

and a lovely bunch of flowers from Evelyn! (Not the best photo with the light behind them!)

Tonight saw the last of Melanie’s lovely Italian pasta sauce from the freezer…. A big serving!

And lots of cuddles with the pups.

Have a lovely Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Hmmmm what do you write about on the day after the day after your whole world changed and you lost your lovely dog?!

This is on my last walk with her, we knew she wasn’t feeling great but had no idea what was to come.

I guess by now it goes without saying that she’s still in our every thought and we are lost without her.

Craig went back to work today. You don’t get the luxury of time off to grieve when you are self employed.

He’s still in bits. He won’t mind me saying that because it’s true.

I am spending as much time as I can with the 3 Borders….

I’m appreciating their cuddles and attention.

I let them run and play today. I watched them and enjoyed it.

It’s been really dull and dark all day. We tried to walk before the rain came but the rain came… 😆

It was lovely just getting soaked breathing in nature.

Sadness hits.

It comes and goes.

The memories will always be there.

I had a lazy morning. Time passes so quickly in your own head.

I was lucky enough to have booked my very first Reiki appointment today with the lovely Fiona in The Healing Hut.

She came highly recommended by several friends.

I had a lovely session with her. I’m already looking forward to my next one on 7th November. It was so relaxing.

I picked a card for SELF LOVE and I have to work on loving myself and stop putting myself down. That makes me super cringe… therefore it’s definitely something I need to concentrate on.

I felt super energised when I got home and I tidied up the house.

I got the Donna Ashworth, Words to Live By journal…. I haven’t written in it since mid August.

I randomly opened her book Growing Brave and got this….. synchronicity. 🫶🏼♥️

It’s so wet outside that it’s a good day to get back to it.

I’ve chosen LOVE as my word for October.

I need to feel all the love and appreciate everything that we have as we have no idea how long we’ll have it for.

Life is for living.

Jeez I’m so deep these days.

So ending on a more light hearted note… this is where we were this time last week.

A little bit of heaven on earth.

It seems such a distant memory now. It’s nice to relive it a bit.

And breathe.

We have Storm Amy starting to blow here.

It’s wild so we’ll have a nice cosy night in cuddling the 3 degrees.

Remembering the Queen Khaleesi.

Right by Craig’s side as he opened his 50th birthday presents.

Always by his side.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

And so life continues.

A life without our lovely Khaleesi.

There is a giant hole that she used to fill.

I stopped and looked around her bedroom this morning and I can see her everywhere and yet she’s not there.

The house is silent, I keep seeing her out the corner of my eye and remembering it can’t be her…. I keep hearing her and remembering it can’t be her.

Craig has lost his shadow.

He stayed home again today, though still working in the office and I went to work.

I was fine at work today if a little off my ‘A’ game…. I spent far too long trying to reconcile £812.53 with £821.53 🫣😆 I only figured it out when I asked a passing Ellison and read it out to her……. Oh how we laughed.

She made me homemade lentil soup and a buttered roll for lunch. Honestly it was the best part of the day. Her soup is legendary.

So yeah, we’re shattered, very sad and flat.

Nothing could prepare us for this.

This time last week we were on the best holiday we’ve had in years.

Now she’s gone.

It’s going to take a wee while to adapt to our new normal.

There was no doubt as to whose sidekick she was.

We have so many memories to call on.

We just weren’t ready to let her go.

And yet we had to.

No plans for the weekend. Just going to rest, tidy up the house after the last few days and hope we don’t flood in this horrific weather that’s coming.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What a shock…. we lost our beautiful girl, Khaleesi, today.

Our hearts are broken.

It was so out of the blue.

She was fine when we left for holiday.

She was fine while we were away.

I thought she was a bit strange when we came home…. No bouncing around but it was 3am.

This Sunday she seemed really tired. No life to her. She kept coughing and wheezing.

She was violently sick Sunday night but perked up again Monday so we thought it might just be a bug. By Monday night she was zonked again.

The vet said she had a low temperature and a high breath count.

There was no sign of significant mass and they wanted to keep her in the IV overnight.

Her breath count was up to 60 a minute this morning. It should be way less than that.

It was time.

For her.

Just not for us.

This is the song that will always make me think of her Bigger Than The Whole Sky 💔💔

My first Khaleesi cuddle ever.

She stared into Craig’s eyes until she fell asleep

Thank you to everyone who donated for her operation last year. You helped give her another year and a half for us to love her.

Rest Khaleesi. The house is empty without you.

Stay safe everyone and hug your pets tight 💔💔💔