Day 2009 World Mental Health Day 2025 and other ramblings

These photos say it all.

September 2018 to September 2025.

I had a lovely husband, 3 dogs, soon to be 4 and a lovely cottage in Scotland… but I was so dreadfully unhappy.

I’d built myself a life around what everyone else wanted.

I liked what you liked, I encouraged you to talk even when I got a really bad energy from you, I tried to get you onside, I tried to make you like me by loving everything you did and said.

I made you feel special so that you would be nice to me.

I constantly sought out your appraisal, wanted to know that you liked me, wanted to justify that I was ok if you thought I was.

I worked all the hours god sent.

I tried to be the best version of myself but if I’m honest it was the version of me that I thought you expected.

Obviously the YOU here is everyone who was more important than me. I thought everyone as more important than me.

I had zero self worth and I was so very tired of being me.

In August 2019 I just wanted peace from the pain and noise inside my head and that lasted until well into 2020.

The second photo again in September 2025. What a difference!!

I am finally just being me.

I have boundaries.

I do what I want, when I want.

Life is still hard, there are ups and downs,

Not every day is easy but I look for the glimmers of joy in every single day.

This is life.

Right here.

Right now.

And tonight I’m very excited to be going to see Deacon Blue at the last minute!

Someone can’t go so I got the chance of a ticket…. And I’m so excited!!

I’ve spent the day clearing out our huge shed and I’ve loved doing it…. Just as much as I loved clearing the stock at work.

Before and after in big pics.

I haven’t thrown anything out yet, I’ve just found a place for all things the same and put them together so we can go through them and clear out. I can’t wait. I hate clutter!!

Oh and I got the loveliest gift from my lovely friend Lea.