Day 1831 a very sad day 🥺

The rain through the night sounded biblical at times. I’m being dramatic (who me?!?) but that’s only because we haven’t had rain for ages…. It woke me a few times.

It was still quite dark when I got up. I’m working from home early this morning as I’m attending my friend’s funeral.

I’m at my home office desk from 7am.

I’m constantly being pestered for pets, Freya says auch mum don’t take my photo…. 🫣🥴

I left at 9am to get to the Crematorium for one of the most lovely and yet saddest funerals I’ve ever attended.

Shelagh was my kinesiology wifie as I affectionately called her. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years back and I was her last patient…. She sadly lost her valiant fight on Friday and I found out when I was at Eilean Donan castle last weekend.

I cannot tell you the profound impact that Shelagh had on my life.

I’d gone to the doctors in September 2018 and was diagnosed with anxiety…. Someone gave me Shelagh’s name on a piece of paper and told me to look up her business Enhanced Wellbeing.

We never found out who that person was but it sent me on a journey that I’m so incredibly grateful for. Shelagh was the first healing and guiding light that I had ever met.

I had never met anyone quite like Shelagh.

No matter what I told her, she said everything was ok. She said that those things had to happen to get me to where I was today. She was so caring. She had such a lovely voice. I always felt calm around her.

Health kinesiology is something I still struggle to explain, but Shelagh worked with me for over 4 years to clear learned behaviours and old patterns that weren’t serving me.

During lockdown she held a Tapping group where we all zoomed in and practiced tapping… I could never get it to work for me but we had a lovely group and all connected in a lovely way.

I met Shelagh out of therapy in July 2021 to go wild sea swimming! She’s always wanted to do it and I was really keen to try. I was really nervous as she knows all of me and I was yet to learn anything about her outside of her work.

I needn’t have worried.

We had a hysterical time.

We’d arrange to meet at Ardrossan beach, sadly when the tide was out and we couldn’t get to any deep water to swim…. So we literally lay back in the cold water and floated in little more than bath deep!! What a giggle.

I am very proud to say Shelagh included this photo in her service today.

Look at those smiles.

I was Shelagh’s last client at Enhanced Wellbeing in February 2022. She told me that she’d been feeling very unwell and knew something was wrong. She was going to be taking some time off.

I felt (selfishly) like I had lost my life line. I’d grown to rely on my monthly visits…..

She called me out of the blue when I was in Oban with mum, Dad and Craig. It was 19th February and she told me she’d been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and wanted me to hear it from her.

This was where we were when I took her call.

For some reason I wanted to remember that moment…. So we took photos…. I was so touched that she’d chosen to call me, I will always think of her there.

I was devastated for her but surprisingly upbeat. Shelagh was the most positive person I’d met and I was certain she could beat it.

We arranged to meet several times over the years as her treatment progressed.

I found it difficult to ask what I really wanted to know and I picked up the bits that I could. I am very awkward around people who are losing their fight with life. I wish I’d been better at it, I wish I’d known what to say.

We began meeting for lunch at Kilbrinie Loch hub. Walking when she was well enough and just having lunch when she didn’t have the energy.

I took her for a drive to Portencross and we paddled in the freezing cold sea… dodging jellyfish. 🪼

I invited her to a crazy drag night our village hall and she had a blast. She loved it. I have to say the drag was not that good but she just enjoyed every minute.

One of the times I met her, she told me that the cancer had never gone away and she would probably get a few years.

I skirted around that topic so much, I was super positive and told her if anyone could beat it she could… again.

I text her the next day to apologise for my flippancy.

Fast forward to the start of January and she tells me the cancer has spread.

Heart breaking.

She has been full of positivity. Full of life. Full of joy at the tiny things.

She celebrated her 60th birthday with family in December. She had a wonderful time and always talked about how much support she had from her husband and daughter.

They have lovely photos together from her 60th. She looked so healthy and so full of love and joy.

So last Friday I was in Eilean Donan Castle when I read the text from her daughter to say she has slipped away.

The world has lost a shining light but even as I type that I know that everyone at that funeral today, is better for knowing her.

She planned her own service and wrote her own eulogy.

I was crying sitting in the car park watching the amount of cars drive in. The place was heaving.

And this is what she left us all…..

With a promise to live life to the full.

To appreciate all that nature has to offer.

To have fun with our families and friends and appreciate the small things in life.

Her light spreads so far and wide. How fitting that light is my word for the year.

If I could be half the person she was I’d be happy.

Thank you Shelagh for everything.

(I’m glad I got the chance to say all of this to her too).

I’m exhausted. I had to work until 6pm to send a rental van out.

It’s been a long hard day.

But a memory I will hold forever.

Stay very safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️