Day 1800 eh?!? How did that happen?!?

I can’t remember the exact date I started but it was around the end of March 2020…. About 8 days after we went in Covid-19 lockdown in Scotland.

I’ve not written on a handful of days due to no signal or very low mood and I’ve duplicated a couple of days until I realised how easy it was to check the day number the day before 😆

I always do a wee stats recap on the significant number days…. Just to let new readers know a bit about me.

• 2,263 days without alcohol since January 2019. I had begun to use alcohol as a crutch to cope with my anxiety snd depression. It didn’t help that I was threatened with the sack every other week at work, trying to please management and please my team was an impossible task. I woke up with the fear all the time, I was miserable and sad, I shouldn’t have been drinking on antidepressants anyway. I was never any worse than the next “man” but I felt full of shame and knew I had to stop. I was blacking out. It wasn’t good. I drank twice in lockdown, the day the pubs announced they were closing and the night before they reopened. I felt AWFUL the days after. I haven’t touched a drop since. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done (living next door to the village pub) but it’s only one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself.

• 1,671 days without antidepressants. This is HUGE…. I was on antidepressants for YEARS. Maybe 25 or more. I felt suicidal in the December of 2019 and as a result of the daily blog journalling and no alcohol to make it worse, I was able to come off antidepressants.
• 867 days since I started on HRT. I did a lot of investigation into HRT and I believe it’s right for me. I upped the dose recently only to feel exhausted and down so I’m back on my standard dose and feeling back to normal.
• 813 days ago I decided to start fasting for 16 hours a day. I started on 20th December…. Right before Christmas… and I’ve fasted every day since. I just love it. It’s not for everyone but it’s completely controlled my bloating. I was always puffy and bloated. Turns out being a little bit hungry really works for me.

So that’s a quick recap on my life choices these last few years.

Turns out I’m a control freak. I try to control everything to give me the best chance of a good mood.

I LOVE a hangover free early morning. That never gets old. I feel like I have so many more hours in my day rather than losing evenings left, right and centre.

It turns out I’m nowhere near as outgoing as I thought I was. Mrs extrovert obviously needed a few sweet sherbets to keep her going.

I would say now that I’m only extrovert around the right people.

I love nothing more than alone time either in the house or away travelling somewhere.

This is the bit that needs work on next…. I need to get back into the world and not worry that I don’t drink. It is hard though. I choose this but I do feel left out when others are drinking and I’m not.

If I’m honest I think it smells disgusting now so I suppose that’s something 😆

So back to my day today. It’s another beautiful day in west, central Scotland.

Claire and I ran for 6.7kms this morning and I hit my 2 mile personal best!

My average pace wasn’t my fastest but we set it hard and then I was knackered for the second half 😆

How pretty was Spiers Old School Grounds at 7.15am?!?

I love these mini daffies that grow every year.

It’s really cold and frosty but just so beautiful.

My favourite gate.

And we’re done. My headband is covered in mildew… that sounds so much nicer than sweat….

My new favourite view… again….

I took Calaidh, Bhruic and Freya into the field to play before our walk and Calaidh knew this branch was down on the ground, from the last time we’d been in. She went straight for it!

Look at Beith from up the hill. Wow.

And this is our wee Gateside.

Back down the hill to pick up Khaleesi and I took Calaidh back out again… she needs to lose a few pounds, bless her.

I’ve been running and walking for over 2 hours so I have a seat outside before my shower. Just throw the ball 🎾 Calaidh says…

I headed down to see Gayle in the little gift shop. She’s done a lovely renovation with new floor and she’s painted the walls a dark pink. It looks lovely. I didn’t take any photos dammit!

I ended up being there for an hour and half. I served a customer when she had a queue and had to clean dog poop from the front pavement 😆😆 as you do. I’m so used to that it doesn’t phase me.

Round the corner to Curiosity coffee shop and had an Oat Mint Latte with a lemon meringue blondie. Yum. Lots of lovely chat in there as usual.

Then I’m back home and scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom…. Well from worktop to bottom, as the sun was shining in all the wrong places and showing up way too many dirty marks.

I’ve said before, you can’t live with 4 dogs and expect a clean house 😆 but it feels better now that I’ve done it!

I sat outside for a bit with lady Khaleesi on her bed. It’s really nice when the sun shines, but still too cold to sit out for any length of time.

So I’m back indoors, writing this and will crochet until Craig comes home.

He’s been away up north for a job today (did I say that already?!) it’s been a lovely day for the drive though.

It’s going to be a very big baby blanket…. I should have made two smaller ones but it is what it is!

Have a lovely rest of weekend!

Stay safe everyone 🧶🧶🧶