I was in bed for 8pm last night and lights out at 8.30…. I did wake up when someone screamed at the tv as someone’s football team won and went through to the next round….. 😬😆

I woke again at 4am.

I knew the lunar eclipse would be starting so I looked outside, saw cloud and decided to go back to bed. By 4.30 the moon brightened the sky and I figured I’d be raging if I missed it…

So up, dressed in all the warm clothes I laid out last night, made a flask up and headed out.

Not exactly certain of my final destination but I set off in pursuit of the moon.

It peeked out from behind a cloud so I pulled it a lay-by.

This would be the best moon shot I got. Period. 😆

I never saw it again.

Determined not to give up I drove out to Largs and went in to the marina.

Again I thought it might be busy.

Nope.

I used my SkyView Lite app to search for the moon.

It was still very cloudy.

The app told me the moon was here 😆

So I decided to drive down to Portencross.

There were two cars in the car park… again I’d thought it might be busier.

The sky is getting lighter on the horizon, to the East, behind me.

I went for a walk round to Portencross Castle.

I walked out onto the rocks and the sky was lightening behind me.

The moon was here….

Still nothing!

It was really lovely to be up and about so early. It’s been a really long day.

The Isle of Arran in the distance.

The Blood Moon and Lunar Eclipse should have been right in front of me.

One last look for the moon that has finally set… now that the sky is clear 😆

I headed home as the sun came up. It was a beautiful drive.

I took the 3 Borders straight out.

They were like a box of frogs this morning . Super excited and skittish.

Look at the sky and the view. Wow.

It is still very cold… I’m well wrapped up.

Gate!!

And the farmers’ beautiful daffies are fully in bloom. So pretty.

Once home, I sat outside for a bit as I did my Donna Ashworth journal but I had to head in as I got too cold.

At 9am….. yup all that and it’s only 9am… I had my third counselling session.

We spent some time talking about how it’s ok not to be ok. I talk about that a lot and yet….. I never really forgive myself when I’m not ok.

Revelation.

I get upset when I’m not perfect, when I make mistakes.

I catastrophize when things don’t go my way.

My mind never stops flitting from one thing to the next and to the next.

She says my self esteem is very low and I should work on that.

I spend my life controlling every situation so as to avoid confrontation. To avoid the uncomfortable. I write this blog so you will know when times are tough and you will cut me some slack.

I cannot control anyone other than myself. I can try really hard to but that’s where I get the biggest kick back down when one of my controlling tactics, doesn’t work, or backfires.

The big question today is… am I always as positive as I might come across in the blog or I am forcing the gratitude to try to make myself feel better.

Huge food for thought.

Speaking of food… check this Biscoff Millionaries Shortbread.

It is as big as it looks!!!

Craig and I headed to Mochas JaK’s after I’d gone to bed for an hour for a nap. I felt way better after that.

We had a lovely lunch and came home to sit outside.

I was cold. 😆

I’m now cosy in the living room, wrapped in several layers and covered in my crochet blanket, with Calaidh at my feet.

A lovely day but if I’m honest a sadness brought out in the counselling that needs some work.

There, that’s better, the actual truth 😬🥴😆

Have a lovely Friday night… this day is going on forever and ever!

Stay safe everyone 🌖🌕🌒