Well the hormones have taken hold this morning for the first time in ages. I am so tearful. The tears are just streaming down my face and while they do stop, they’re back about 10-15 minutes later. This is ridiculous.

I’ve always said I want to tell the truth with this blog, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me to do that.

I’m so glad that Craig has been away this weekend as it wouldn’t have been any fun to be around. Let’s get one thing straight, it’s not being alone that has made me sad… I think it’s my expectations for the weekend…. The amount I wanted to do it needed to be a three week weekend! I was rebuilding the house while catching up with friends and family on top of dealing with the dogs.

I’ve been so impatient with the dogs, not had the confidence to walk the three at once so had to do separate walks where I berate myself all the way round for not managing the three of them… there go the tears again. I met a man with a two dogs off lead and the adrenaline that flowed through me was enough to choke a horse. (Poor metaphor but it did make me smile). Of course it was fine.

Wow, even as I write this I really how difficult my head can be and I bring all of this on myself.

Every step with the dogs was a drudge. Bhru and Freya first, then back for Calaidh. Half way through Calaidh’s walk I felt a surge of positivity and energy which was nice. I smiled, looked around and appreciated the moment.

It didn’t last…. Poor Claire asked if she could borrow two eggs… is there a way to say todays not a good day to be borrowing eggs 🤦🏻‍♀️😔 she spotted it straight away… more tears. Jeez….

I was planning to fast until I head over to Edinburgh this afternoon but I had a egg mayo bagel and it has helped. I’d already done 16 hours fasting so I thought some food would help.

I’m gonna put this out before I go. We have a family get together in Edinburgh this afternoon at mum’s cousin Joyce’s house. (Always call her mum’s cousin Joyce for some reason… smiled again!)

I was have a lovely afternoon and at some point normal Julie will kick back in and no one will ever know. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆😉

At some point I will feel completely calm and forget that this ever happened…. Except that I have written it all down. ☺️

I saw rainbows everywhere this morning.

Heavy overnight frost!

Then I spotted these really cool clouds on the way back down the hill. They made me feel a bit dizzy through the lens. (lens?!? 😂 iPhone!!)

So yeah… not the best morning. No real reason… all hormonal and I’m cringing like a cringey thing putting this out but if you met me on the walk I’d have smiled and you’d have had no idea.

You meet people like me all over the place. Everywhere. You have no idea how someone is feeling. So please always be kind.

I say that…… and don’t be too kind if you see me today as you might get tears 🥹🥹🥹😔😂😂 best just pretending none of this has happened 😂😂

So I’m off to shower, get dressed, hair and make up done and I’ll be fine. I’ll have a lovely day catching up with family I’ve not seen since February. I’ve arranged for neighbours to pop in and let the dogs out.

I have a busy week at work while half of Tartan take holidays at the same time…. But it will all be fine and I’ll wonder what all the fuss was about. Again.

Life with crazy hormones can be tough.. but I’m fighting it every step of the way.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️