Check me. A great day?!? At work?! On a Friday?!? Whoād a thunk it?!?
I didnāt get to bed until 12.15 pm after a lovely wee night at Gemma and Jonnyās wedding.
The Gailes Hotel in Irvine was a lovely venue and Gemma and Jonny were lucky enough to get married outside, during the day. It was the hottest day of the week by far, if not a bit cloudy.
The Tartan Camper Crew rocked up at 7pm.
We sat outside for a good bit of the evening. It was really warm. It was good for us all to get a chat outside work.
Suddenly certain that this photo wasnāt my best angle ššš
So a late night and I had decided to work today as Iād left in such a mess yesterday.
It was absolutely the right decision!!
I have had the best day. Despite the very late night, for me, I was incredibly clear and focussed on what needed doing. I picked up exactly where Iād left off yesterday. It felt super productive, I was buzzing and really enjoyed what I was doing. I have sorted everything that felt out of control. Iāve still loads to do and Iām sure thereās lots I have forgotten but I felt like I ticked enough boxes before I take a day off on Monday, instead.
Iām so glad I went in.
So yeah a very good day. Abbie the Campervan is home. Craig and I will have beans on toast for dinner but hey, she is sale worthy now!
It was so hot when I got home I sat out for a bit but suddenly clouded over so Iām inside, feet up contemplating dinner. It would appear the puppers are also expecting their dinner as they are pestering me š
How lucky is the bride that got today for her wedding? Itās been warm all day and the sun has just come out and itās 24Ā°C. Weāve not had weather like this since June.
Gemma, who did all the upholstery in Abbie the Campervan, is getting married today, so the Tartan team are all heading out to her evening reception tonight.
I have had the busiest day to end the busiest of few weeks. I hate leaving a Thursday with everything in a riot and thatās exactly what I did today. I was lucky that Ali, that I work with, could give me a lift to and from work, as Abbie is having her steering pump fitted today. I ran out leaving chaos. As I sit here just now Iām thinking I will go into work tomorrow and take Monday off instead as Iāll never remember where I am by Monday. At least in the morning Iāll have half an idea. I was just in the middle of so many things.
Hmmmmā¦. food for thought.
Look at the pink on the hydrangea this morning. Itās just stunning.
Wish get a photo in the direct sunlight to brighten them up even more.
Iām sitting out in the garden but I do need to go and get ready. Iāve not looked anything out, Iām just kind of hoping it all comes together when I start getting ready.
Thankfully Kinesiology did the trick again and turned my tornado, firework head back to calm.
I say it every time but itās such a relief when the Drama Queen packs up and leaves the Peaceful Princess to get on with life. (I came up with that all by myselfā¦. š¤¦š»āāļøš)
When I feel peace and calm, I canāt imagine how bad the anxiety feels, it seems incredulous to me that I can put myself through that turmoilā¦ but hey I do it all by myself. My reactions to triggers, my own lack of self worth, among others, has a huge part to play when I feel down.
Abbie the Campervan is getting a new power steering pump today to the tune of Ā£532. I didnāt fully advertise the sale until I knew she was fixed so itāll be full steam ahead this weekend. Iām ready to move on to my new life now. Iām still very sad to see her go but also very ready to see what comes next.
Iām going to try to do a vision board of what my travelling future looks like. I know it will be more guided trips as Iām really enjoying that. Saga bus tours here I come!!! Jokingā¦. š
I have felt SO much better today. I am fully guarded against all the energy shifts that are going on at the moment. I know so many of you will think this is mumbo jumbo but it really makes sense to me.
So another awfy busy day at Tartan HQā¦ constantly adding to the lists but hey, today I can cope with that as I know I can only do my best.
Iām heading into the pub to meet the Crochet Hookers now so Iāll leave you with another few photos from the weekend!!
Hunterston Nuclear Power Station through a porthole in the ladies toilets!!
Ailsa Craig is the dot on the horizon!
The view over to Arran.
Up on top deck.
Passing my favourite Portencross Castle.
Reversing into Ayr. A pilot had to sail out of the ship and come on board to dock the Waverley in Ayr. Fascinating to watch how they fulcrum us round the port using ropes.
Sailing into Girvan with the lovely beach in the background.
I am so very lucky to live here and have access to such lovely scenery.
What a beautiful day today. Itās been sunny and warm which has been lovely. I was able to wear my shorts to work and not freeze.
Iām sitting outside writing this. Itās windy but warm enough.
I had another amazing sleep but when I woke I wanted to just stay in bed and had to talk myself into movingā¦ to be fair, I had to š but I was super positive. I kept saying āyouāve got this and today is what you make it, itās going to be a wonderful day and youāll get loads doneā.
It ran around my head like a mantra and I smiled every time I thought it. Which was a lot.
The morning went slowly as I started on all the things that needed doing. I was clear and focussed and pleased with my progress. All the while, massively proud of my positivity.
The day is what we make it.
Then I saw my lovely friend Isy posted this.
A major shift in consciousnessā¦. Wow. I love when something like this clicks with me.
Things happened that werenāt what I wanted to hear but I took a deep breath and got on with them. I did what needed doing. Still smiling. Proud of my lack of Julie style reaction.
I canāt pinpoint when it actually went wrong but I became overwhelmed with everything coming at me in the afternoon.
My list long out the window. All the while everything thatās happening is just adding to the list. Iām no longer in control, I donāt have time to write things down before I move on to the next.
I should say here, as I always do, that NONE of these things are the end of the world. Itās my fight or flight reactions that make them the end of the world in my head. Nothing is insurmountable (Iāve used that recently š) but itās true, I know that.
Yet I get ratty, defensive, put myself down to anyone who will listen and worst of allā¦ laugh at myself for being so cocky in the morning. āāyeah right, you think youāve got it sussed, youāll never have it sussedā. I speak to myself in a way Iād never speak to my worst enemy.
I have to take Abbie the camper van to the garage to get a once over before she sells. Iām not happy with the steering and think she needs a new power steering pump though hoping itās less than that.
I left the garage without a lift home and felt all tearful and angry as I left. I suppose itās understandable really but I feel like a wee kid who needs to have a tantrum. Iām full of pent up irritation and anger, all of it unfounded. Iāve become irritated with anything that doesnāt go my way. Tasks that a few Fridayās ago I was positively bursting to tick off my list are creating anger and frustration as I canāt possibly imagine how Iāll be able to fit that into my busy schedule.
Again, lets have a laugh at thatā¦. My busy schedule sees me sitting with my feet up in front of the tv most nights so Iām hardly rushed off my feet.
So thankfully Gayle agreed to come and pick me up after work and I sat on a kerb at the high school car park for a while. That helped me breath a bit more freely. She then made me laugh in the car which really helped.
Honestly my teeth are crawling in the back of my mouth right nowā¦.. I messaged Angela, my kinesiolgist, to pull forward next weeksā appointment and she can see me at 7.30pm. This stuff works wonders for me and I know Iāll feel better when Iāve talked it through. I feel better writing it down too.
I always vow when Iām like this, that Iāll never feel like this again and yet it keeps coming at me. I wish I could just let the bad feelings go but I hold onto them, swing around on them and get irritated by how they make me feel. Maybe thatās what I need to work on tonight.
Sorryā¦. I hear myself. I had such a lovely Sunday. I need to hold on to thatā¦. Which means more photos!!!
Passing the Tall Ship on the Clyde.
On our wayā¦ Craig took this!
The Renfrew Ferry jetty. This is the only Clyde ferry that still operates across edge 200m river. The Captain said it was very popular with pedestrians.
Heading to the Erskine Bridge.
The Glen Sannox, CalMac ferry still under construction.
The Cloch Lighthouse.
Dolphinsā¦. Honestly! š
Millpond.
Iāll leave it there for now. still millions more to share š
Itās funny when you do something really out of the ordinary and then have to go straight back to normal life. It does feel like I had a holiday.
I had such a perfect day yesterday on the PS Waverley. Given the weather we have had through the whole of July, itās amazing to think we had sunshine all day. I was so lucky.
As I drive to work this morning, I had a wee smile at Ailsa Craig on the horizonā¦. Iāve been there now. I love that and I want to do so many more things like it.
I had a great sleep and felt ok when I got up this morning. Work was crazy busy today! Lots of people seem to think about Campervan conversion over the weekend, which I suppose is very obvious. It never stopped. I did get a wee half hour out in the sun at lunchtime though which is a good break.
Over the next few days Iāll share some more photos of my trip. I canāt recommend it enjoying. The Captain is so engaging and his commentary is so interesting. It really feels like a huge part of Scottish history.
So Iāll leave you with some more close ups of Ailsa Craig, certainly as Iāve never seen it before.
The bird sanctuary is uninhabited and lies 10 miles off the coast of Girvan.
This is the castle perched on the side facing Girvan. The heather is so pretty in full purple bloom.
The lighthouse and cottage are at the base of the same side. In the back of this photo you can see the Isle of Arran mountainsā¦ if you really really zoom in!
The ābackā of Ailsa Craig from the Girvan side, is the front of Ailsa Craig to the Mull of Kintyre side and thatās where all the islands gannets are nesting. The noise was incredible.
The rock is very similar to the basalt columns of Staffa that I visited in 2022.
The sun really lit up the birds though itās impossible to see them all in the photos. It was lovely and calm around this side.
There are just so many shots and so many views, I may be repeating myself. I used to want to take the trip that allowed you to land and climb to the top but I have to say, Iām incredibly happy that I got to sail around without having to climb. I had no idea it would be so steep. Yet with hindsight that seems obvious.
I am so envious of everyone out on other Waverley trips until she stops sailing the Clyde at the end of August. I could just sail on her every day!!
Still grinning from ear to ear.
Waverley excursions posted some amazing photos yesterday which Iāll share now but must give them credit!
Iām in them both. What a special memory!
More trip photos to follow. Least I have content for a while now!!
I should say Iām so grateful Iām not feeling as bad as I did on Saturday. That was a bit of a dip. It scared me a bit as I struggle to accept the lower days. I donāt want to be that person. I donāt understand why that lethargy raised its head after so long. I seem to always need a reason but I canāt put my finger on it this time. The Waverley trip came at such a good time. It lifted my spirits in a big way. I have to plan some more!!!
Itās a beautiful morning. Thereās not a breath on the Clyde.
Craig ran me to the Glasgow Science Centre for 9.30am and picked me back up in Ayr at 6.30pm. In that time I have sailed the River Clyde and the Firth of Clyde down to Largs for 12.10pm, Ayr and Girvan for 4.10pm and out around Ailsa Craig. A very crude mapā¦.
A bucket list item ticked for me today. Big time!!
I didnāt feel good when I woke up this morning but the day had had the desired effect. This is what makes me happy. This is what gives me a buzz. Travelling and exploring and not having to drive.
I have had the most amazing time. I have gazillions of photos to sort through so Iām going to make this very quick and just show you a few for now as Iām shattered! Itās 8pm already. (Reading this back over, I did way more than I was planning!!)
This photo makes me laughā¦ I have the tallest husband in the world š I look tiny!
The Waverley is pushed around to turn the opposite way on the Clyde. Itās literally shunted.
Craig stayed and took some photos from the dock.
Sailing under the Erskine Bridge.
Passing Dumbarton Rock.
We had dolphins riding the bow at this point and I got a fab video which I shared on The Rambling Sloth FB page. The last time I tried to add a video to WordPress it hung for days so I not risking it!!
Ailsa Craig is the tiny blob of an island on the horizon.
Leaving Largs.
Arriving in Ayr where a million people got on!!
Arriving in Girvan.
The RNLI lifeboat danced around beside us for a while!
Setting sail for Ailsa Craig.
I am so pleased we got to sail right around. The photos of the Waverley sailing round would have been pretty special. Thatās the only negative to being IN herā¦ you donāt get photos OF her.
Never mind the island. Look at that sky!!
I obviously have loads more photos but will work through them another day.
I met some lovely ladies. Another blogger Dawn-Marie than Iām going to follow and a girl called Sarah. Youāre never alone when youāre on your own.
Iāve had the most amazing day. Honestly out of this world. Sadly Iāve been FREEZING for most of it as I opted for the summer wardrobe and unpacked the hat, gloves and warm hoodieā¦ but nothing would get me sitting indoors!!
Sarah spotted this rabbit in the clouds!
Looking towards the Heads of Ayr.
Craig took some fab photos from the dock.
Whereās Julesie, just like whereās Wally!!! Look how busy the ship is?!?
Hint Iām waving!
Vision in turquoiseā¦
A wonderful day. This is what life is all about. š¢ā„ļø
Iāve been in bed most of the day. Iām not sick Iām just so lethargic.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist set his alarm for 5am. Today was my only day off without an alarm. I tried to go back to sleep but got up at 5.45am. Iām very quiet, definitely not full of chat.
I headed out with the puppers at 6.30am!!
The forecast is for rain all day again, but itās dry for now, though much cooler than yesterday. It is, however, only 6.30am š when was the last time I was out in a T-shirt at that time of the morning?!
I didnāt run as much today. More of a flat footed fast walk at times.
Itās what I call a watery sun this morning. Looks like it will rain heavily soon.
I think that shot is pretty impressive when you consider I have 3 excited Border Collies in one hand š desperate to get off on their walk!
Quite liked the wee thistley things, as you can tell as there are two photos.
āWhatcha stopping for now mumma?!? Awwww there are sheep-y-mehs in here!!ā
I dragged the 3 of them past the meadow garden, just to see how itās coming along.
Itās much the same but still very pretty.
Itās very unassuming behind this gate!
Back home and I sat about for a bit. Itās only 7.30am so I headed back to bed until just before 10am. I was woken up but the dogs doing a proper wolf howl after Craig left the house!!
I didnāt know where to put myself. Didnāt have the energy to do anything but couldnāt think of the kind of nothing I wanted to do. š¤¦š»āāļøš
I came outside for a poo pick and suddenly found myself weeding the very overgrown garden! As you do.
It was a tough slog and I felt a bit lightheaded at times. There are still a lot of very tough weeds but I really broke the back of it. There are some plants that ended up going too but Craig really doesnāt like this part of the garden so I did what he wanted me to do rather than what I would have done. Itās easier to clear it all than clear bits of it.
I asked him to bring a KFC Boneless Bucket home. Lethargy craves junk.
As soon as I ate it, I went for a shower then back up to bed for another 2.5 hours!!
I tried to read a book that Evelyn lent me but was out for the count. I havenāt needed this much sleep in ages.
Iām super silent in my head. Iām calm, there is nothing to worry about, nothing I canāt blog about, Craig and I havenāt fallen out, Iām just hiding in silence which I know sounds weird but I must need it for some reason. I maybe need some kind of recovery from the crazy histrionics mid week. Hard work this over analysis! š«£š„±š
Iām back out in the garden, jammies on hoping no one from the pub looks over the fence. I have one boob under each arm pit, as you do when your my age and braless. š I could sit here all night.
The rain never came.
Check out our hydrangea bush. I tried to get it all in the photo!
Itās really beautiful.
Iāve had a wee play with the puppers to get some jumping shots!
A couple of them you have to click on the pic to get a full view but Iām sure you get the gist.
So a day of a whole lot of nothing and I could go back to bed and sleep some more. I might just do that.
Getting up some energy from my full day on the PS Waverley tomorrow which Iām super excited aboutā¦ in a quiet, tired kinda way!
I had THE best sleep. Out for the count all night, itās such an amazing feelingā¦ I woke up to a woo woo woo woo from the back garden at 7am. Craig was up early and I never even heard him. (Should clarify, it wasnāt him woo woo woo-ingā¦. Obviously! š¶š¶š¶)
I didnāt feel great when I woke upā¦. Really groggy and little bit sad. I cuddled Craig on the couch and had a wee tear without him even noticing. (Love that he reads this to find outā¦ š¤¦š»āāļøš¬) I mentally gave myself a shake and got my running gear on to take the dogs out for dog jog. Itās the LAST thing I wanted to do. Every part of me wanted Craig to say heād take them.
I opened the front door, walked out and started to run straight away.
I never do that.
I ran and ran and ran.
It felt good.
Itās comical when one of them catches scent of something and almost pulls me off my feet as they stop dead to catch up on their pee-mail.
It was a beautiful morningā¦ lovely blue sky.
I felt so much better for it. Straight in the shower and back into my little gift shop clothes! Funny how I have clothes I havenāt worn since I havenāt been in the shop. š
Iāve had a lovely wee day chatting with Gayle and seeing lots of lovely customers again. Iāve missed that lovely energy. We had a busy day and it passed really quickly. The shop is looking amazing with lots of new stock!
Thereās a new vintage coffee shop opening in Beith next week and the owner came in and brought Gayle and I a lovely latte. āļøāļø
What a great idea to get local businesses on board. The coffee shop is called Curiosity. Sheās planning to open on Thursday.
The coffee was lovely but full caffeineā¦ obviously!! I was buzzing afterwards!!! š«£
Despite having such a lovely day, I still donāt feel right. I am tired and just a bit antsy and unsettled. I felt really nervous and stomach churning before I got homeā¦ could just be the caffeine maybe but a lot of people I speak to this week have said similar, that they just donāt feel quite right. Someone said there were two full moons this month. Ahhhhhhā¦ nope no idea what that means but it sounds a good enough reason for me.
When I donāt feel 100%, I always want to have a reason, I want to know why I feel out of sortsā¦.
Iām home now, in our newly organised sunroom, with the wood burning stove on and the door open.
I have my feet up and Craigās just made dinner. We had lots of meat that was about to go off so we had a plate of different meatsā¦ protein dinner, a bit like a BBQ! It was really nice and actually I would have just had cheese and biscuits if it was left to me in my lazy state of mind.
Hope you all have a great Friday night and a lovely weekend!
The forecast was for rain in and off all day todayā¦.. itās been lovely and warm, so sunny and Ellison and I got a seat out at lunchtime again, which is always lovely. It breaks up the day and itās especially nice after all the rain weāve been having.
The forecasts seem all over the place these days.
Iām shattered today. Iām sitting outside in the garden and itās 5.15pm and the sun is hot. Thereās a strong wind but itās not cold.
And relax.
Iām yawning my head offā¦. š„±š„±š„±
Itās been a really busy day today. I didnāt get anything done in any order. There was no control today, no process, I just had to jump from thing to thing and try and write notes so that by a Monday, I have half a clue about what has happened. I had tears before 8.30am over something that was really nothingā¦. When I write it down it sound so ridiculous, so patheticā¦. We keep getting the wrong windows delivered and last night it happened again. Itās not my fault but I feel wholly responsible. I donāt know why I take these things so personally. Even when I find out what happened and how it happened, I still feel to blame and that I should have done something differently. I hate letting other people down.
When does this self flagellation ever end?!? (I have a wry smile when I say thatās flagellation and not flatulationā¦trying to make light of the situationā¦)
Anyhow, the rest of the day was much better, just busy. Weāve ordered a Chinese for dinner as I have no energy for cooking. I think I need to get up and at it with a dog jog tomorrow. This lethargy needs nipped in the bud. tonight I need to restā¦. A lazy evening with a takeaway and a movie sounds like just the ticket.
Itās funny how some days this all just flows on past like it doesnāt matter and other days I choose to wallow in it. The voice in my head, tells me Iām not good enough, thatāll teach me for having such a great start to the weekā¦. And then I beat myself for my overreaction and so it goes on.
So Iām just gonna sit back and chill and enjoy the lovely evening.
Iām back in The little gift shop tomorrow so that will be lovely and I have my big adventure on the Paddle Steamer Waverley on Sunday which Iām super excited about!! The weather looks promising which will just be amazing.
I have everything crossed. š¢š¢
The clouds are really wispy but itās just so lovely to see the š sky! This is my view just now!
So much to be grateful for! Hope Craig thinks that after an evening with me š„±šš
Talking to mum on the way home tonight and I told her that writing this blog is a form of meditation for me. It allows me to review my day and assess my feelings and emotionsā¦. And boy have I been angry today. Like lighting the blue touch paper all the time.
My ego has been a pain in the ass today. It feels so hard done to for no reason and kicks off every time something doesnāt go my planned way.
Life canāt always be straightforward, it canāt always be planned. I need to be able to adapt but I seem, sorry my ego seems, to find this so hard to do sometimes.
I try to have everything planned to the nth degree. I have to do this to keep my anxiety in check, itās the way I work. I struggle feeling out of control. It blows up like a volcano that way over exaggerates the actual thing. I either need to be in control of it all or none of it. I need to find away to be in control of some things at some times and other things at other times and not being sure what things when. š
I have to be honest and say Iām actually laughing at that now. Honestly I can be a complex soul at times.
I walked in to a bike rack on the back door of a van today. I was walking round the back of the van when the door was open and the bike rack sticks outā¦. I followed boss man but didnāt obviously take as wide a berth as he did. He heard the whack and came running!! I was actually really lucky that it hit square across my forehead and not my glasses or the top of my head. I only have a very slight dent that wasnāt there earlier!
It knocked a bit of sense into me!!
So Iām just back from crochet and we had a good blether tonight. Births, marriages and despatches!!
We took a wee walk to a new meadow garden thatās been planted at the end of the villageā¦. Itās so lovely and EXACTLY the look I was going for with my meadow garden last year. Mine did not work AT ALL!!
So pretty!! Thanks to Rachel two doors down for the good shout. She spotted it walking the dog this morning.
So yeah, not that proud of my reactions today, just another learning curve. The joys šš
I didnāt sleep that well last night. I was awake for a full hour from about 1.15ā¦. just wide awake listening to some insane noise Iām my head. Iām not sure what it wasā¦ what caused it. but it was like a caffeine boost. My heart was thumping so loudly I could hear it in my head. I assumed the gentle roar of snore next to me, had wakened me but I honestly think it was all my own doing. I felt really shattered when I got up.
As I know fine well, life is what you make it so I sat and had a lovely caffeine black coffee with Craig before getting ready for work. Yupā¦ the irony is not lost on me. š
Some of his birthday gifts were coffee based. We now have beans and a grinderā¦ Auntie Jac will be awfy impressedā¦ sheās the snobbiest coffee buff I know šš this stuff is pretty good but considering I probably usually drink the coffee from the coffee factory floorā¦. Itās easy to be impressed.
Work was good but I wasnāt quite as fancy free as yesterday. The voice was back and fighting with the calm head. Not badly, just enough not to be sitting here smugly tonight.
I know what is wrongā¦. Iām all ready to sell the van, was so excited, raring to go, then stalled. Letās think this throughā¦.
I just need to pluck up the courageā¦ face all my anxiety and fears and put Abbie the Campervan actually up for saleā¦. And sell it.
Being a people pleaser, the transaction between seller and buyer of a vehicle is a wary one and therefore, not my favourite. I win people over with my honesty and personality and not everyone buying a car (or van) from you, will respond to this. I feel their approach is to try and catch you out, to highlight the things youāre not saying. That makes me very nervous, so much so, Iād happily let anyone sell her to save me doing it.
I know that this is just the next uncomfortable learning curve that I need to hop on. I know that it will probably be fine and that I will probably do a great job. All that said Iād rather just put it off and get into my comfies and hide. š¤š
So Iām just going to do it.
I donāt have to sell her to someone who thinks sheās overpriced.
I donāt have to sell her to someone who picks holes in her or tells me everything thatās wrong.
If the worst comes to the worst and something goes wrong with her during the sale, I can get her fixed and resell.
Nothing is insurmountable.
I just have to pull up my big girl pants, step RIGHT OUT of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Dramatic eh?! Youād expect nothing less.
In other news, Facebook actually phoned me yesterdayā¦ canāt believe I forgot to share this revelation. Almost 3 weeks after the review that would take 24-48 hoursā¦. It would appear my case was not a simple one.
The fake profiles on my account have been removed.
Iāve not been hacked in 3 weeks. My timezone still doesnāt feel right. I can open links on FB marketplace as it may not be accessible āin my countryā hmmmm maybe not if you still think Iām in Western Indonesia!! They say I show as London, which would cover the whole of the UK but Iām still not certain.
I think I clicked a link that asks me to confirm all my loginsā¦ and effectively gave the hackers my login details. Life is just one long learning curve.
Wonāt do that again!!
Ok enough hiding behind the blogā¦ Iām off to write the advert. š«£
The Rambling Sloth š¦„ 