Day 1232 ok start, weird in the middle and lovely ending!

Good sleep despite having to get up at 2.30am to shut the window. The wind and rain were really loud overnight last night.

I was boyed up by my new found enthusiasm for life, but the weather was so dreich today and I found myself drained as the day went on. I felt bored by the mundane. To be fair today was stock check day which I sometimes love but today just felt like a chore as I have so many other things to do. Negative Nelly started talking me down again. By the time I came home I was raging that I couldn’t drink to numb my mind. Pissed off with myself for being strict with the fast so that I couldn’t gorge myself with chocolate to cheer me up.

Just BORED…..

I know great things come from boredom but I have so many things I just can’t be bothered doing.

I came straight in and made dinner and didn’t stuff myself full of snacks afterwards, but hit the fasting button straight away at 5.22pm. That will be me until lunch tomorrow. She who needs a bikini body by the end of September, can’t afford to eat junk!!

So we sat down over dinner with an old faithful show, New Amsterdam, and my whole body relaxed because I couldn’t listen to the voice in my head bitching about things that annoyed me. I shut her up.

Then I went to the Kinisi Flow class in the village hall at 6.30pm. I was looking forward to it (I’m as surprised as anyone else!) and I really enjoyed it.

I no longer feel bored. I feel tired but content.

I want to live in this bubble of happiness and awe and wonder at life 24/7 but life is not like that. I need to work at letting things go. Not over dramatising them in my head to make them bigger. the more we talk about them and share the story, the bigger we make them to soothe our own ego.

Just let things be and let them go.

I’m so full of wisdom as I write this…. 😂 not so much at the time!

Anyhoo….. I’ve been meaning to talk about the virtues of Castor Oil for weeks now and keep forgetting.

Ellison introduced me to Dr Barbara O’Neill on TikTok but also Insta and how castor oil has a number of amazing properties… not least of the reduction of inflammation, cysts and the like, in the body.

I bought a giant bottle for just over a tenner, and am going to bed at night with pads of castor oil in a sports bra to help reduce the 20+ cysts I have up there. Now this would be funny if Doc Barbara has shares in castor oil, but honestly she speaks very fluently about natural body healing. ❤️‍🩹 also not gonna lie, it’s a real commitment. Castor oil is a messy business, it does stain the sheets if it leaks out…. I’ve not done it for a few weeks now but I am going to go back to it. I even went to bed one night with a pad full of castor oil clingfilmed to my ankle!!!!! Life doesn’t get much crazier than that… and I wonder why I’m tired all the time. Thinking all this through! 😂

Anyway, a great end to the day. I’m standing in the garden, throwing balls for the doggos and leaning against a wall writing this. The seat is too wet because it poured with rain ALL day. That fine rain that soaks you. 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️