I got to bed about midnight last night and managed about 5 hours sleep. My alcohol free head has felt hungover all day… that’s very unfair. Shows how much of a hangover is actually sleep deprivation!
Was lovely to see do many neighbours out on their glad-rags last night! Megan was stunning and Stewart is a very handsome lad! It was lovely to be a part of their day.
I shockingly didn’t get any other photos other thank a lovely shot of the twinkling hall way at Dalduff Farm.
AND despite my best intentions, I completely lost track of time and forgot all about the blue moon that was due between 8.19 and 8.25.
I missed the “once in a blue moon”. 😆
I did get photos of the moon when we left.
So up this morning and out super early to get to Tartan to wash Abbie the Campervan in time for her 3.30pm viewing.
By 8.51am they said they weren’t coming. 😳
I am SO proud of the way I handled that whole thing. I love when I am so aware of my lack of reaction to something. I’d upset the lovely lady who had made the offer for Abbie. She spent the evening talking herself out of it. I’d been stressed and late leaving the house for the wedding last night, k thought about it a lot. I’d gone against my gut feel for some more money.
As soon as I knew the others weren’t coming, I was pleased instead of raging, as I knew my gut feel has been right. I wanted to accept her offer last night and leave it there but I took the advice to wait for more.
Of course I would have got more for the van if they’d wanted her but hey… in my life now, a gut feel is really important. I trust my own intuition 100%, I may just question it a lot but it’s only because I still don’t trust my own opinion above others.
So I messaged the lovely lady straight back and through the course of the day she paid me a good deposit!! I have no idea when she’s coming to get her but I drove like Miss Daisy tonight…. I must investigate that saying, I use it too much!
So I’m sitting at Silverburn Shopping Centre now waiting on Lea as we’re meeting for coffee tonight. The sun is shining so I’m sitting outside on a bench instead of going in.
As usual writing this I feel relaxed and calm.
I’ve sold Abbie the Campervan. The end of an era but the start of something exciting for me, like what on earth will I buy next?!?
I thought it would be a VW Caddy so I could still camp but I honestly think my mind might be changing…. Back to a normal car, with reversing sensors and all the mod cons. Hmmmm food for thought!!
Wow, so much has happened in one day! A great day at work but I feel a bit all over the place flying out the door running late for Megan and Stewart’s wedding.
I tried to get home as quickly as I could but everything seemed to happen at 3.50pm!
I have an slightly lower offer than I wanted on Abbie the Campervan from a lovely couple in Aberdeen. They haven’t seen her but in our chats backwards and forwards, she thinks I’m awesome. Isn’t that lovely.
I’ve been very truthful about the crack in the bumper (but expensive reversing camera as a result!) and a couple of rust spots. I can’t have them coming all the way from Aberdeen and not knowing things like that.
At the same time a girl asked Tartan if she could come and view it at tomorrow, knowing what I actually want.
Arrrrgggghhhhh… a lovely dilemma but it’s a dreadful feeing when you’ve struck up such a rapport with someone but it’s still a business transaction.
So I had all of that to deal with whilst trying to get ready!!
And relax. Craig is driving and I’m getting a minute to breathe!
We really must get rid of the weeds in front of the house!!!
Megan is our local dog groomer at Braw Cuts Dog Grooming and the daughter of our good friends Jim & Fiona from the village. Can’t wait to see them all in their finery!!
And I will try to calm down about van selling tonight…
Would you believe I don’t have much to say today?!?!
Check me.
I slept all night again…. I had another fab sleep. I start progesterone again tomorrow night. Goodness only knows how much I will sleep when I’m back on that… maybe all day. 😆
It was another good day at work. A bit quieter today, a bit less manic for once. Maybe I was a bit less manic. I felt really in control, really clear headed. I felt like the voice of reason today.
Unheard of.
So I’m not gonna write a lot tonight.
I’m going to share a video clip that Craig posted today as I am SOOOOOO proud of him. I think this is super professional and I didn’t even realise it was his voice straight away. I’m so proud of the amount of work he’s doing to build his business.
Hope you enjoy it. Our little Runtie Pup Freya was too cute!
We have a busy day tomorrow. We’re working all day and have Megan and Stewart’s wedding at night. I have to “fly” home from work to get ready and head out to Dalduff Farm in near Maybole which is a fair drive.
I’m fairly certain what I’m wearing but I’ve not looked it out yet. Really should do that tonight!!
Actually today wasn’t really manic at all, I just smiled at that heading. 😁
The English part of the UK had a bank holiday today which meant the Scottish part of the UK got no answers to any phone calls today. 😆. It also means that it was ghostly quiet with no emails etc.
Strangely for a Monday, the phone didn’t go like the clappers either 😂
I had another amazing sleep. You’re sick of hearing that eh?! I don’t know why my sleep is so good just now, usually the 2 weeks off the progesterone is not as good but hey, I’ll take it.
Work went by fast oh and wait until you see what Ellison bought me today…..
MY PHOTOS ON WEE FRIDGE MAGNETS!!!!!
How lovely is that?! I was really touched….. also shows me what is possible with them, if I could have the confidence to do something with them!! That rose just looks stunning.
I had to go for a food shopping after work tonight… I have to say it was not fun. My head was all over the place, I couldn’t think straight at all. I’ve ended up with a whole lot of everything and nothing. It was a last minute thought so no list or plan. Never a good idea.
I came home, put it all away and made dinner and somehow it’s 8pm already!!
Lots of positive quotes first thing this morning so will share some of them.
And this next one… wow wow wow wow and wow!!!
I am in control of my own destiny. There are times when something side swipes me and I forget that but most of the time I know this is 100% true. My problems are my own.
I slept like a log last night. Isn’t it amazing that I can say that almost every other day. I fell asleep on the couch watching a movie at about 9pm and slept for over an hour.
Then I couldn’t wake up this morning. Actually stayed in bed until after 8am this morning. Check me!
We decided on another day in the garden. We started off talking about next years’ holidays….. decisions, decisions. We both agreed we would love to go back to Iceland 🇮🇸 again. So much still to see and do. I also have a list, the length of my arm, of places that I would like to go and see. We mulled that over, over coffee, sitting in the garden.
It’s another nice day, cooler and cloudier but still nice.
Back to the gardening it is!
All of these are the before….. then after.
Then just some after shots that I didn’t take before!
The ground still looks covered in weeds but it’s amazing compared to what it was before. We also had to shore up the giant hydrangea as it’s been falling down with its own weight.
Also my new favourite path taking shape. Still a long way to go with that.
We haven’t spent any real time in the garden this year. I’ve never felt any desire to do gardening for a few years now. I always wanted to be away in the van. It’s been really nice to tidy it all up these last few days. We’re now sitting outside with a fire pit.
I thought the forecast was meant to be lovely but it’s cloudy and cooler now. The fire is toasty!
I did stop for another healthy salad lunch today.
I’m still loving my mixed salads in the big tub. Today was applewood smoked cheese with wafer thin chicken, olives and feta, sun-dried tomatoes and a cheese filled pepper.
Super tasty!
As we sit by the fire-pit, I got back onto the subject of holidays.
I’ve been using the love holidays app recently and went to look at Croatia. It’s one of the warmer places I fancied due to the Game of Thrones filming locations.
We know that Dubrovnik is one of, if not the most, visited cities, in the world. I found a beautiful 3 star hotel, 40 minutes from Dubrovnik and 15 minutes from the airport, in the town of Cavtat.
I found a great deal, the first place I looked and such a stunning location. We’ve booked a week at the end of September 2024!!!
The holiday was only £615 each for bed and breakfast for 7 nights. I thought that was really good. Weather wise we should be past the worst of the heat and we’re away from the crowds too.
Photos are obviously courtesy of love holidays and I have not just jetted out there to take some photos!! I didn’t look at anything else as this just felt perfect. It has 4.5 stars on trip advisor.
The good thing about booking so far in advance is that you get pay it up. This works out at just over £100 a month which is easily doable. Something to really look forward to!!
So I’ve had another great day. I’m calm. I’m happy. I’m excited as I now have two foreign holidays and a wee trip to Devon to look forward to.
I’ve not had much interest in the van but I think the market is slow. I’m not in any rush to sell, so I won’t just give it away, but I am super excited about travelling abroad now and doing something different. I’ve also looked at going back to Edinburgh to meet Mum again and maybe visit Edinburgh Castle. I no longer want to be stuck in a field looking at the rest of a campsite.
Funny how your priorities change. A few people can’t believe I’m selling her, I know this feels right. Camping brought me a whole load of stress, where to book, when to go, what’s the weather looking like, was it dog friendly etc etc. now I can just pack a bag and head off somewhere!! Sounds like a plan!!
Another great sleep but awake at 5am… on a Saturday dammit. I tried to go back to sleep for 2 hours but it wasn’t happening! I finally got up at 7am.
We sat and had a coffee then I got ready to take the dogs out.
It’s actually a lovely morning. It’s warm and sunny… I didn’t realise.
These cows were watching us! 🐮🐮🐮
Lovely blue sky 💙
Big shadows this morning!
The cow guy was making some noise as we walked towards it! went silent for the photo!
Scary moo coo.
So when I got back I got straight into the gardening. I didn’t plan to do any, and the forecast was for rain all day. Thought I may as well be outside since it was warm and dry.
It was proper back breaking stuff. Trying to take as many roots out of the ground as I could. I even moved some plants around, which I may regret, but, the garden at the bottom was very congested. If the moved plants take up the top then great but if not, you couldn’t see them anyway.
When we first moved in here, the back of the garden was fully overgrown. We paid to have it cleared and then put bark down.
Big mistake.
That’s not fair actually, it served its purpose at the time but bark eventually mulches down and becomes mud. We’ve added layer upon layer of bark in order to dry up the mud, but it keeps mulching down.
We have decided to do away with the bark but it’s slow progress. Hoping for as much free artificial grass as we can get.
I found a path that we covered up and have been digging that back out.
It’s slow progress as I get sore hands and arms…. And I do get bored with it!
I’ve been thinking for a good few weeks that I must get back to exercise. I feel guilty for not doing any and I have sag where I haven’t sagged for years.
I need to remember that the dog walk and a full workout in the garden count too! It was a hard slog.
I had a shower and washed mud out my hair and came back out to sit and let my hair dry.
I am shattered. I am silent. I’m not gonna give you the chat of your life tonight. (Think Craig has sussed this already)
I am beyond calm.
I am thinking of nothing. Maybe a nap would have been a good idea.
This is not the best photo but it shows where I was working today.
Another full nights sleep last night. Just bliss…. Up bright and breezy today to get my toes painted and eyebrows done before heading off to Edinburgh to spend the day with Mum.
Mum doesn’t need me to have my eyebrows done and toes painted 😆 but the girl I go to only works a Thursday and Friday, so I’m restricted to those days. She changed my 9.30 appointment to 8.30 which was really lovely of her. We have another wedding on Wednesday night!
So I’m on the 9.12 train from Glengarnock, North Ayrshire to Edinburgh Waverley, via Glasgow Central. It’s been a long time since I got the train and the ticket was £41.40!!! On the grand scheme of things, it’s not that much but I think I expected about £25 😆 times are changing!
For those of you who don’t know, I’m an Edinburgh girl. I was born in Edinburgh at the Simpsons Memorial Maternity Pavilion (I’ve always loved the lilt that has) and grew up in Penicuik about 10 miles south of Edinburgh. I went to Napier University in Edinburgh so it was always my old stomping ground.
Thinking on it, even back then I felt bit different. When everyone was obsessed with going out, partying and drinking, I’d much rather have stayed at home. I did go out but I never really enjoyed it. I think that drinking helped me relax and forget my discomfort and there the story begins…
So back to today, sadly the forecast is pretty wet. It was sunny when I got on the train but spotted this 🌈.
And now it’s raining!
So into Glasgow Central.
Had to hot foot it across Glasgow to Queen Street Station for the Express Train to Edinburgh. It only take 50 minutes.
Nelson Mandela Square a bit wobbly while crossing the road!
Honestly Glasgow feels so alien to me now. We are never in the city anymore. There are people everywhere, obviously. Jeez that’s a bit of a scary selfie in Buchanan Street.
The Edinburgh train is heaving! It’s lovely to see loads of tourists heading to Edinburgh.
I am so excited to be on the train. It feels like a real adventure. I feel like I’m on holiday. This is the station from a bridge above it later on in the day.
Met mum and we walked up Cockburn Street!
Made famous by the Avengers movie.
When I was a teenager I used to get lots of my stuff out a shop at by the bottom called Cockburn Market…. It’s not there anymore 😂😂
We turned up on the Royal Mile and headed up towards Edinburgh Castle. That’s St Giles Cathedral where the Queen lay in state in Scotland before flying back down to London.
This is Deacon Brodies pub that I used to go to in my student days.
Looking back down the Royal Mile. Blue sky!
Thought this was a lovely building almost up at the Castle. The Scottish Whisky Experience.
I didn’t think the Castle Esplanade would be open to the public as the Edinburgh Tattoo scaffolding is all set up. It was but we didn’t get in to the castle as it was fully booked. Never realised that it could be but I guess during the Edinburgh Festival, that would be obvious!
Never going to get a photo without lots of people but thought I was pretty lucky with this!
Looking back down the castle esplanade to the Tattoo seating!
It got really dark!
And then the heavens opened!!!
This piper was really good.
Heading down the Mound to Princes St Gardens. This is the Bank of Scotland…. I want to say Head Office. If it’s not, it should be.
Walking down the steps towards the National Gallery and Princes Street, in the pouring rain.
Lovely view of the Sir Walter Scott Monument.
Think this is the best photo of the day as there were no people in it!
Mum took me to the Scottish Cafe and Restaurant for lunch. It was a lovely treat!
I had a buttery with wild mushrooms and soft cheese. It was really lovely.
Looking over Princes Street Gardens. This is where the Christmas Market is held every year. It’s nice to see it uncovered and green.
The Balmoral Hotel looking very imposing on the East End of Princes Street.
The new St James Shopping Centre… it’s streets ahea of what it was when I was a kid. More designer shops that anything else. It’s a lovely shopping centre but I’m not sure I’d feel the need to rush back.
There’s a lovely view from it, down over Leith and looking out to the Firth of Forth.
We popped into Harvey Nichols… way outta my league! We just did a tour of the escalators. The one pair of trainers I looked at were £595 😳 didn’t like them that much!
Mum headed off to the bus station to catch the bus back to Penicuik and I headed back down to Waverley for the Train to Glasgow Queen Street. It was so lovely to get to spend the day with her and do something different!
I passed the Royal Bank of Scotland on St Andrews Square. It’s been there since I was wee… and obviously a long time before that!
Crossing Princes Street looking west. It’s still really quite dark but dry.
Here’s a tram passing.
Back into Edinburgh Waverley.
It was such a lovely trip. I love being on the train and I’ve enjoyed exploring today almost as much as being on the PS Waverley. 🚢 it was lovely to see Mum as I can’t remember the last time we did something like that.
The train trip went really quickly writing this. I should have been a bit more present in the moment.
I had nothing to write about today. Been putting off putting “pen” to “paper” as I’m a bit bored writing that I had a busy day at work!! I did and I slept really well again… I love a great nights sleep!!
So maybe on day 1234 it’s time for a stat update. You know how I love a stat!
The biggest stat of all 1694 days without alcohol
1244 days since I lost my job due to my anxiety and depression (legally position made redundant)
878 days since I started work at Tartan Campers
740 days without anti-depressants
301 days since I started HRT
247 days since I started daily fasting
The not drinking and lack of anti depressants still blow me away.
If you had ever told me 1695 days ago, that I would stop drinking AND not be managing life without strong antidepressants, I would never have believed you.
I was so unhappy back then. I was busy trying so hard to live a life that was destroying me. I would have changed so much, if I knew then, what I know now. I can’t regret any of that because it gave me the chance to see what I can see now. That life doesn’t have to be lived at 100 miles an hour. That’s you don’t have to make everyone else happy to the detriment of yourself. That I matter.
My opinion matters.
My needs matter.
I count.
I love that I know that now.
I love that I think that.
I love that I really mean that.
I know that I hide from reality sometimes.
I crave alone time and peace.
I love deep and meaningful conversations but since I stopped drinking I just can’t seem to manage small talk.
I have to avoid any subjects that steal my peace.
The news is a complete no-no.
I can’t cope with any drama.
I like life to be simple and calm and peaceful.
It might seem boring to some but I love my new reality.
Craig married a Senior Manager in a suit, makeup and high heels and stood by my side as I made huge decisions that would change our lives forever. I’m so very grateful for his love and support.
I now walk out the door in jeans or tartan joggers and a T-shirt and I’ve never been more comfortable. I mostly don’t care what I look like and hardly ever wear make up.
I can breathe.
I still have bad days.
My anxiety can scream at me at fever pitch when something doesn’t sit right with me.
My fight or flight reflex is still really hard to ignore at times.
I can be the one who says the wrong thing at times. I can overreact. I can snap.
I love exploring all of this through writing The Rambling Sloth. It really helps to try and understand my thoughts, feelings and mood swings.
I am desperate to see more of the world. I’ve always said I want to see every country. I love exploring!
So yeah, it’s been a journey and a half.
I’d like to thank everyone who takes the time to read this. I can’t tell you how much that means. Until you quote it back to me… then I cringe. 🤦🏻♀️😂😂
I actually worked on my blanket tonight at Crochet.
Check me!
That’s the first time in a very long time. I am tying up the ends of my blanket trying to finally finish it. This has been a real labour of love.
We had a really great chat and put the world to “tights” tonight (as I may have written once, a long time ago, and it stuck!)
It’s 8.35pm already so it’s just a quickie tonight. I’ve been awake since 4am thinking about work and then had another busy day. Gonna get an early night tonight.
Good sleep despite having to get up at 2.30am to shut the window. The wind and rain were really loud overnight last night.
I was boyed up by my new found enthusiasm for life, but the weather was so dreich today and I found myself drained as the day went on. I felt bored by the mundane. To be fair today was stock check day which I sometimes love but today just felt like a chore as I have so many other things to do. Negative Nelly started talking me down again. By the time I came home I was raging that I couldn’t drink to numb my mind. Pissed off with myself for being strict with the fast so that I couldn’t gorge myself with chocolate to cheer me up.
Just BORED…..
I know great things come from boredom but I have so many things I just can’t be bothered doing.
I came straight in and made dinner and didn’t stuff myself full of snacks afterwards, but hit the fasting button straight away at 5.22pm. That will be me until lunch tomorrow. She who needs a bikini body by the end of September, can’t afford to eat junk!!
So we sat down over dinner with an old faithful show, New Amsterdam, and my whole body relaxed because I couldn’t listen to the voice in my head bitching about things that annoyed me. I shut her up.
Then I went to the Kinisi Flow class in the village hall at 6.30pm. I was looking forward to it (I’m as surprised as anyone else!) and I really enjoyed it.
I no longer feel bored. I feel tired but content.
I want to live in this bubble of happiness and awe and wonder at life 24/7 but life is not like that. I need to work at letting things go. Not over dramatising them in my head to make them bigger. the more we talk about them and share the story, the bigger we make them to soothe our own ego.
Just let things be and let them go.
I’m so full of wisdom as I write this…. 😂 not so much at the time!
Anyhoo….. I’ve been meaning to talk about the virtues of Castor Oil for weeks now and keep forgetting.
Ellison introduced me to Dr Barbara O’Neill on TikTok but also Insta and how castor oil has a number of amazing properties… not least of the reduction of inflammation, cysts and the like, in the body.
I bought a giant bottle for just over a tenner, and am going to bed at night with pads of castor oil in a sports bra to help reduce the 20+ cysts I have up there. Now this would be funny if Doc Barbara has shares in castor oil, but honestly she speaks very fluently about natural body healing. ❤️🩹 also not gonna lie, it’s a real commitment. Castor oil is a messy business, it does stain the sheets if it leaks out…. I’ve not done it for a few weeks now but I am going to go back to it. I even went to bed one night with a pad full of castor oil clingfilmed to my ankle!!!!! Life doesn’t get much crazier than that… and I wonder why I’m tired all the time. Thinking all this through! 😂
Anyway, a great end to the day. I’m standing in the garden, throwing balls for the doggos and leaning against a wall writing this. The seat is too wet because it poured with rain ALL day. That fine rain that soaks you. 😂
I had THE best sleep last night. Soooo good. Work up at 5.45 and don’t remember anything all night. Love that. More of that tonight please.
I went into work feeling positive for the day ahead…. And walked straight into one thing after another. All work plans out the window as I fire fought one thing to the next. When something goes “wrong” my inner voice is so negative. There was an issue with a part delivered today and I could blame myself to the moon and back, but at the end of the day we thought one thing and the supplier thought another. It’s just one of those things that happens. Who’s fault is it?!?!?! Quite frankly there’s a bit on both sides and the half hour wasted on how can we apportion blame, is just a waste of time. They have pulled it out the bag and will sort the issue this week. Yes, we have to determine how we can stop that from happening in future and that’s something I will always work at.
What surprised me is how negative my inner voice can get. Its always been there. Putting me down. I’m just so much more aware of it now.
It’s almost like a part of me revels in the fact that something, under my responsibility, had gone wrong, again. Trying to make me feel anxious, trying to make me stress out and feel bad. That voice wants me to take the blame for everything, to prove that I’m useless, to make me think that I’m not good enough to do my job. It’s really bad but I actually think it’s really positive that I am aware of it. At least some days.
I wonder why I do that?!?? Why do I have such little self worth that I would revel in screwing something up, only to justify how rubbish I am?!?
There were a few things today that tried to pull me down but I didn’t let it win. What I did instead, was be proud of how I handled it and how quickly I got it resolved. Files from previous jobs held all the information that I needed and I found it clearly and calmly. That’ll show you Negative Nelly.
I know how crazy all of this sounds but I’m fascinated by it all…. Certainly on the days that I can see it for what it is.
Someone had a good walk round Abbie the Campervan today so that was exciting. At least it’s a start. I know she will sell but it’s been a slow start so I’ve been a bit disheartened. Negative Nelly enjoys being disheartened. 🤦🏻♀️😂
On the way home tonight, I rounded a bed to find two cars driving straight towards me. One was overtaking and only just pulled in in front of me. He waved to apologise but oh my god…. The wave of adrenaline that went through me was something else. I had the shakes the rest of the way home.
It’s already 8.25 as I’ve been out in the garden. I’ve had no real purpose, I’ve just been doing a lot of bits and pieces. I’ve done some weeding, some digging and some clearing and binning of rubbish that had gathered around the garden over the years. It feels so good to have a bit of a tidy up.
I had a headache on the way home and knew I couldn’t have another night just sitting in front of the tv. I desperately wanted to do nothing and just chill out and relax, but I knew it wouldn’t be good for me.
So the headache is gone and I have really accomplished something. It feels good.
Oh and I made a chicken stir fry for dinner tonight too!
Oooh I did not get the best sleep last night. I’m not sure why? I read until late to try to finish my book and maybe my head was buzzing?!?!
I’d actually had a fairly antsy evening, considering I’d had such a lovely day. I could not decide what I wanted to watch on tv. I started the Sixth Commandment on iPlayer but I couldn’t get into it. I needed something bright and cheerful rather than dark and intense.
I had the room all lit with candles as it had been such a dark afternoon.
These two were sitting at the top of the stairs when I sent them up to bed last night. Too cute. Please don’t make us go in our room mum… please can we come and sleep with you?!?
I didn’t feel the need to sleep with a herd of wildebeest!!
I didn’t get to sleep until about 1pm and woke again at 3 and finally at 6. I suppose I should be grateful I slept through the “5am alarm” which wakes me most days.
I dried up the last of the defrosting freezer and put the oven trays and shelves back in the oven. I forgot I’d cleaned all of them yesterday too. Well, I tried my best. I popped half in the sink and half in the bath with dishwasher salts. It’s amazing how much it lifts. I’m also very proud of my freshly defrosted freezer!!
I took the dogs out at 7.30am… no photos this morning as it’s very non descript weather. Hmmm that appears to not be a word?!? Who knew?!?
I did take these lovely flowers on the way into the village…. With the pylon in the background!
Gayle and I are heading to the Scottish Exhibition Centre for Scotland’s Trade Fair again…. Assuming this will be the autumn/winter collection….. oh jeez and probably Christmas!!! I never thought of that… how will I cope this early on?!?! 😂😂
Here we are, about to go in!!
So it was much smaller than the one in January. Only one small hall. I think we were both a little disappointed…. strangely there was virtually no Christmas stuff out either!!! I didn’t expect that. It was worth it for a couple of suppliers that Gayle got to meet though.
To be fair, all the gift shops will have had to order Christmas stuff months ago but I hadn’t realised that. We had a lovely wee day anyway and Gayle bought us a huge chunk of Red Velvet Cake and coffee.
The motorway was heaving when we left the centre of Glasgow so Gayle took me the scenic route through her old stomping ground, Renfrew and Paisley!!
I have never been to Renfrew. She gave me a wee tour with running commentary.
How pretty is the Town Hall?!? Very Bavarian I thought? Lovely flowers on the central reservation too.
One of things I want to do this next year is to go on tours where people take me around and show me the sights!!! Exactly what today was.
It’s sunny now that I’m home but still really windy. I’ve tried to sit outside to write this but had to come in when the sun went behind a cloud.
This next one really spoke to me. “The dark tunnel of changes leads to the light of possibility”.
During everything I went through, as awful as it was, I always knew I would be ok. I always knew things would work out, I knew I wouldn’t lose the house, I knew it would eventually be ok.
This calm of the last week has been so lovely. I am truly grateful for every day. I’m not wishing it to be over, or wishing for the next day. I’m happy and content in my own head. Yes I want to sell the van and look for my next thing, yes I’m looking forward to my holiday but I am not wishing my life away.
I’ve said it before but I am so grateful to have had that wake up call. I stopped fighting for a life I had outgrown. I sat in Gran’s chair and went through some pretty dark times but it was all worth it to find this version of me.
So here’s your Sunday reminder that we can take anything life throws at us.
I am having the loveliest wee day to myself. I am super productive when Craig is not here, what is that all about?!? How do I get so much done when I’m on my own, yet lounge about moaning about being “tired” when he’s here?!?
I had the best sleep. Out for the count until my body clock woke me at 5.02am. I’m waking up at Scottish Dog Behaviourist time, even when he’s not here!!
I checked the weather and my phone and all was quiet despite quite a bad storm overnight, Craig & Calaidh must have survived the night in the tent!
I managed to fall back to sleep until just before 8am. That’s more like it.
I got Bhruic and Freya up and straight out for a walk after their breakfast.
It’s strange weather, pretty windy and obviously had been very wet, but the wind was warm and the sky very dramatic.
On one hand very sunny but on the other very mean and moody!
I came home and got stuck into the housework. It’s amazing how clean your house can be when you actually clean it…. Ok I know! Obvious…… now I have a bit more time, it’s easier to stay on top of it. I’ve done two washings and have hoovered the whole house again.
This is a part of our Shark anti hair wrap hoover…. I’ve been SO disappointed with it since we got it, years ago now to be fair. It seems to delight in wrapping hair instead.
To be fair, it still does it’s job as THIS is how much hair it picks up from one rug in one week.
I do fight a loosing battle with housework. We both have long hair and we have 3 dogs… she who once lived alone in a spotless house, had to relax some standards. There are times when I think I relaxed them way too much but hey… life is not all about housework. 😂
I headed out for a food shopping at 11.30… now this is quite unheard of for me. If I’m doing anything like that, I usually have to go first thing, so I’m there before anyone else and can get parked and first choice of everything…. Blah, blah. Today I broke my own rule…. Didn’t even consider the panic a mid day shop would sometimes bring. Just did it.
I thought this was a very Scottish supermarket photo!
On my way back, I headed to Curiosity which has just opened in Beith. It sells coffee, cakes and a few wee curiosities.
This is Lesley who owns it. She came to the little gift shop a few weeks back and brought us a free coffee. I finally got there today.
It’s a beautiful space. I love the colours. there’s only one wee table, so will mostly be takeaway.
I had a Mint Oak Milk Latte, really randomly as I have NEVER put mint in a coffee, but wow…. It was soooo good. The coffee is lovely, really mellow. I also had a Rhubarb and Custard Blondie with chunks of hot chocolate in it. That speaks for itself!!
This is how I broke 19 hours of fasting!!
There’s a lovey unique view of the Beith Townhouse!
I love the cake cabinet.
I had a great chat with Lesley and even met Emma who has started supplying cakes to Curiosity. Cakes by Emma 🧁🧁🧁
I finally dragged myself out of there and headed back up the road. I put all the shopping away and started defrosting the freezer. As you do!
It was sunny for a wee bit there but has mostly been wet and windy today.
So who knows what relaxing things I’ll get up to tonight. I might read a bit, I might find a good movie or I might watch some more YouTube clips on the most beautiful places in the world to visit. That’s what’s on in the background as I write this.
Wide awake at 5am which is fine because I was in bed at 8.15pm!!
I was shattered yesterday.
I read for a bit then was off to sleep before 9pm. Apparently I missed a beautiful sunset!
Up and out with the dogs before 7am for a bit of a dog jog though way more walking than jogging.
It was lovely and sunny to the north and east.
And really dark and cloudy to the south. This photo doesn’t do it justice.
This seagull was the goalie the whole time we walked passed.
The sun looked amazing in the clouds.
I was helping out in The little gift shop today and, as usual, it was so lovely. It’s lovely to catch up with so many people that I’ve not seen in ages. I get so much out of helping people choose gifts when they have no idea what to get.
One lady said I was very good at what I did and it was a real talent. Kindness costs nothing and the shop is all about kindness, every step of the way. ♥️ Her words will stay with me.
😘
I love this next one….
I’ve felt good again today. Calm and in control.
For dragonflies ready 2 Blue Merle Border Collies!! Craig is away camping this weekend with Calaidh…. Leaving me with these two beauties 💕
I’ve just looked at the weather forecast and we have strong winds and torrential rain overnight so I hope the campers are ok.
Hope you all have a great weekend! Was about to end with my usual “stay safe everyone” when I remembered that COVID really seems to be kicking back in at the moment, I know 6 people who have got it and it seems like they feel pretty rotten. I got a text about my 4th vaccination and my flu jab and I decided I wasn’t going to get it this time. I kinda feel enough is enough. I never wanted it in the first place but got it and I just don’t know what to do. Now that people are sick again I’m undecided. Will take any advice anyone has. I’m easily persuaded!
Another broken nights sleep…. I’m off the Progesterone for two weeks so it could be that. I say broken nights sleep, it’s just unsettled, I am certainly not awake all night. I just don’t feel very refreshed when I wake up.
In other menopausal news…. I know you love it…. 😳🤦🏻♀️😂 The old time of the month came sauntering back along after 4 months of absolutely nothing.
Now I should say here, around this time, I used to say it was the one day of the month that I should have taken off sick. I was always a nightmare, very tearful, anxious, fearful, ready to fly into a rage. Also used to have crippling stomach cramp. I remember my poor Grandpa being sent to pick me up from University when it was so bad…. We didn’t discuss it at all, as that wasn’t the done thing, at all, but I got into bed when I got to my Gran’s, with a hot water bottle and painkillers to sleep it off. I also remember hugging a kettle in one job to try and ease the pain… as you do.
This month I would like to report that I’ve been positively angelic. 😇
It’s so nice for me to be able to see these changes and appreciate how far I have come.
So work was the usual very busy today…. I’ve only had a 3 day week so it’s flown by…. But I’ve been ok again today. Handled anything thrown at me. Again, lovely to have some days like that and not overreact to things that shouldn’t be overreacted to!
I had a Harmony massage booked with Norma straight after work. I soooo needed it. It’s only a half hour but I could have stayed the night! I feel all sleepy and chilled and relaxed now.
Norma is so good and really works her magic.
A quiet night for me tonight… I think the amount I am yawning it might be a very early night!!
Ooooh I did not sleep that well last night. I was in bed for 8.15pm after Kinisi Flow last night (I’d spelt it wrong yesterday!)
It was a really different exercise class. You move constantly for 50 minutes of the class, breathing deeply as you go. I suppose a bit reminiscent of Tai-chi. I enjoyed it and I think it will be really good for my flexibility.
I felt as stiff as a board the whole way through but you do loosen off a bit towards the end.
Craig was watching the Rangers game so I headed up to bed with a book. I switched the lights off at 9.15pm but didn’t feel rested at all, when the alarm went off at 5.30am.
I got up early to walk Calaidh as we feel she needs a bit of extra exercise. Puppy fat at 8.5 years old!
She’s always been the least agile out of the 3. She only runs when you’re walking, unlike the other two who will run about crazy all the time.
The other two were less than happy at being left behind!
The sky looked like it was going to be something special at sunrise but it really didn’t do anything much. In fact it was cloudy all day until 3.30pm when the scorching sun came out.
So I’ve actually had a really lovely but busy day. there have been a lot of stress triggers and I haven’t reacted to any of them. I’ve been calm and clear headed. I’ve worked around all the interruptions and just gone on with whatever came up, without getting stressed about what I have or haven’t done.
I love when I feel like this.
There is no reasoning behind it. Some days I overreact and some days I keep calm.
I know a lovely lady who lost her Dad today. A reminder that life is short and what we make it.
I am triple booked for this evening.
I usually meet the Crochet Hookers but had the chance to go for a swim with Lindsay in Kilbirnie Loch… then I remembered that we have a painter coming to quote for the Village Hall and I’m asking him to quote for redecorating our whole house. There is no doubt that we can’t afford it, but we need it and I am never going to do it. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is way too busy just now and I told him politely that he can be a bit slap dash. She who does not want to decorate can pick holes with gusto on occasion. He has a hard life. So we’ll see how the quote goes and take it from there.
I’m off into the pub to sit with the Hookers until he arrives!
I was out for the count the whole night last night. The caffeine I’ve been drinking in the morning isn’t affecting my sleep.. at all!
I had decided to get up and take Calaidh out before work this morning. I didn’t change my alarm as the Scottish Dog Behaviourist ALWAYS has his set for 5am. I’d just get up when he did.
Not so this morning.
6am.
I did not know it was 6am and decided to have a wee snooze.
My alarm went off at 6.15am and I was gutted. Too late Calaidh puppa, sorry!!
Anyhoo…. Work was crazy busy again today. Non stop though I did get a full half hour out in the sun at lunch time which was fab. A wee catch up with Ellison who’s been on holiday!
So yeah after the day off and visiting the Waverley, I forgot to tell you about my hysterical giggles on Sunday night.
It started when our friend Euan sent me this…
Well that was me…. Hooked!!
Mine looks exactly like a photo taken through a toilet roll tube. I don’t look anything like the moon!!
This is my why is it not working face.
I got Craig in on it….
Then the dogs!!
I was honestly in hysterics….. which Craig recorded and sent to Euan and Lindsay. Of course he did. 😂😂
I was trying to photograph everything through a toilet roll. Even now I still smile at the thought of it. It’s surprisingly addictive… could be the thing that sets me apart from other “photographers”….. I put that in quotes as I means someone who takes photos rather than and actual photographer! Hours of fun and giggles and I don’t laugh like that enough. I had tears streaming down my face and couldn’t speak as I was laughing so hard.
It is very good to laugh!
So tonight I’m heading back to Tuesday night exercise class in the Village Hall. Kinesioflow. Sounds interesting and not connected to kinesiology.
I can feel all my muscles withering away and I have skin sagging where it hasn’t for years. My body is missing the Fit Body Farm even though I’m loving my late nights and morning lie ins.…
I really don’t want to go but I know I will love it and it will feel great afterwards.
Guess it comes back to, if it was easy, everyone would do it. I just have to stay switched on until 6.30pm!
I’m sitting out in the sun, it’s been a beautiful day today. Hot.
It feels like a longer weekend having a Monday off, than having a Friday off, but I know that’s not really true.
I slept in until ooooh 6.15am…. 😳 we had a nice, leisurely, freshly ground coffee ☕️ in the sun room before taking the dogs up the hill for some Scottish Dog Behaviourist photos and filming.
It’s a lovely morning… really clam and still and very mild. The forecast is for heat all week, which is lovely, though to us, that’s 16-20°C which will do me nicely.
Bhru got a wee teensy bit muddy!!
Calaidh loving her red frisbee!
Filming some training!
I stopped in past the meadow garden on the way home. Check this beauty!
Just to give it some perspective, they are very small but so pretty when you stop to look and focus in.
Showered and changed and headed over the Largs to wait for the PS Waverley coming in. She’s sailing from Glasgow around the Isle of Arran today.
I had time for s quick wander round the odd charity shop, Costa Coffee to pick up some sandwiches and a Coconut Milk Latte (DECAF!) and I settled down on the rocks to wait for her coming in.
There were hundreds of people waiting to get on!
And just like that she was gone!
I was home for 1.30 and passed Craig on his way out to work. I have no idea where this afternoon has gone but 3 hours have past and I have done precious little. Two loads of washing, put clothes away and watched some YouTube videos of the quieter places to visit in the world! It’s been pretty cloudy but still warm. I might do some more work on my vision board later on. I’m getting quite into this manifesting malarkey.
It’s been a lovely relaxing day, it’s lovely when the sun shines in the blue sky. It makes everything feel really good.
Such a productive morning! It seemed a long morning as I felt I got so much done.
We were up early as usual, which always helps. I stripped the end and got it in to wash as it was the last thing to do in our newly spotless bedroom.
We had one of Craig’s new ground coffees. I love grinding the beans 🫘 I always drink it black as I’m always fasting in the mornings, since the 20th December….. I should be a size 6 by now. 😂
I’ve been thinking of doing a vision board since Kinesiology last week. I got set up on Craig‘s laptop, through in the living room and we sat together, and I looked at loads of photographs of wonders of the world and places I’d like to visit. I saved them all into one file and will eventually get round to making them up into a vision board. It was so much fun to actually look at so many beautiful photographs. If I want to make something more of my photography, I feel that I need to search out some beautiful shots rather than just pointing and pressing with the iPhone. There are so many stunning places in the world to visit. I am keen to travel by train, plane or boat instead of driving. I’m also quite happy to go on guided tours because you find out so much more information than you would if you were on your own. It’s exciting to think of all the places we can explore.
We then got the dogs ready and took them down to the garage to pick up Craig‘s car. He’s had a leisure battery fitted for a camping trip he has planned for next weekend. It had been pouring all day yesterday and through the night and it was wet when we got up this morning, but we managed to walk half the way there before the heavens opened. It was actually a really nice walk even although we got soaked, it’s nice to be out in the rain sometimes.
So that’s really cool log along the way that someone had painted.
Drookit!!!
I also put a Abbie the Campervan up for sale on Autotrader…. And I sold some of the camping gear I put up for sale yesterday. Had a lovely lady come to the house and got chatting for ages. Poor Craig got stuck in the bathroom as we chatted for so long in the hall! He couldn’t walk out in his towel!!
So we were meant to meet our friends, Lynsey and Euan today to go canoeing on Kilbirnie Loch. How cool would that have been. They are seasoned kayakers and canoeists and were going to show us how it was done. Unfortunately it was too windy this morning for our first shot so we scrapped those plans and arranged to just meet for lunch. It’s a shame we didn’t get to canoe but looking forward to sometime soon. I’ve always wanted to go sea kayaking and Craig seems to have the bug for loch or river canoeing 🛶 so I’m happy to meet him there!!
We went to the new Lochshore Café for lunch. We had lentil soup and coffee and cakes! The cakes are so good I never know which one to pick. I ended up with a white chocolate rocky road which I’m sure is what I had the last time!
We always have such a laugh when we are together!
We took a lovely walk along the new Lochshore path, and I got loads of photographs at the side of the loch. Of course I did. Here are a few!!
I’m on the horse while they’re in the cart!!!
Turned into such a lovely afternoon. The sky was really blue and the clouds are very fluffy looking. Of course on the day where I do more walking than I have in a long time., my Fitbit stopped working, so I’ve no idea how many steps I’ve done but I’m sure it’s quite a lot!
A good laugh is very good for the soul!
I’ve been watching YouTube videos on the natural wonders of the planet since I got home. That seems to be my new fascination.
I’ve had a really great weekend so far. I’m looking forward to a Monday holiday too. It’s great to be sitting here on a Sunday night knowing that I don’t have to get up to go to work tomorrow, it makes a Sunday seem even more relaxing!
Wide awake at 6am. Of course I was…. on my day off. 🙄
I’ve had a lovely day. Blitzed the house this morning, well particularly our bedroom.
All on the board are a great follow.
I think I’ve said before that I feel like we still have too much “stuff” and certain rooms become a dumping ground. Our bedroom had… so it’s all cleared and things put away where they should have been. I really enjoyed pottering. I cleaned the dogs room again. It wasn’t that bad but it’s good to stay on top of it. I hoovered the stairs. It’s much easier the more often they get done… obviously. 🤦🏻♀️
I put the van up for sale on Gumtree! Someone has already messaged to ask if I’d like to exchange… eh naw!
I put some camping mats, pillows, double sleeping bag and rucksack up for sale on FB Marketplace. sold the mats and pillows already.
You all know how much I loved being in The little gift shop but I am enjoying the extra time to get so much done.
I am way more content when the house is clean. A tidy house is a tidy mind as they say.
Gayle came to pick me up at 2.30pm and we headed up to Linwood and had a wander round the shops for a few hours. It was great to catch up.
I got this really random lemon sweatshirt and shorts but it’s made of towelling. It was £8.50 in the sale. I thought it would be great for wearing around the hotel room on holiday. (You so know why I have so much stuff to move around the house really eh?!!)
Unfortunate photo bomb by Calaidh!
So back in my comfies for a night of TV. we’re watching Wolf on BBC iPlayer, recommended by Rachel two doors down. It seems dark already and it’s only 7.15pm. It has rained ALL day! 🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️
Thought this next one was excellent food for thought. it’s another reason I write the blog, I know I can be the toxic person at times.
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 