Tag: tension

Day 1452 right out my comfort zone!

Have you ever done something you really wanted to do and then stopped and thought, oh jeez, what have I done?!?

I’ve created the perfect storm in my head. I’m building stress and tension by the minute.

I think the main issue is that I’ve booked my Rome weekend with such short notice. I only gave myself 4 days to remember what we wear in 26°C heat, while waking round a city, which I’ve not done for years. I’ve also felt pressure to book the main tourist attractions in advance. I’d hate to go all the way there and not get in to something at the last minute.

So I didn’t sleep well last night at all, my head is buzzing…. Overwhelmed with far too much information. I feel like you need a degree to try booking a trip to the Vatican. There are so many options and prices, I swear it’s designed to bamboozle.

Every time I sat down calmly to look, I got drawn into wormholes and seem to go round in circles. So at lunch today, I found an article and read it all the way through, without reading all the pop ups.. and finally booked for the Vatican Museums, the Sistine Chapel and St Peter’s Basilica. It’s at 10am on Saturday morning. My hotel is only 3km away so that gives me plenty of time to get there.

I have also booked a tour for Sunday morning at 10am. The Colosseum, Roman Forum and Palatine Hill tour.

If that is all I do then I think it will be more than enough.

That calmed my head immediately…… but I really struggle having to do things in the evening, when I want to write the blog and relax.

I ironed some clothes last night and need to finalise what I’m taking. I make it seem like a chore rather than fun holiday prep.

I’m sorry, I hear myself but I promised I’d be honest in this blog and tell it warts and all.

I’m driven to step out my comfort zone. I want to travel as I know how good it makes me feel and yet I freak once I’ve done it and remember how much I hate flying!! 😂

Ok I’ll shut up now…. I’m gonna do a meditation before bed tonight to try to calm my racing thoughts.

I made another lovely dinner tonight. Kimchi Miso Nourish Bowl With Farro, Charred Purple Sprouting Broccoli & Pak Choi. Don’t think I’ve ever eaten Farro before. As usual a it was really lovely.

I took it outside to eat in the sun… although it was very windy… it blew some cobwebs away.

My favourite bush is looking beautiful in the low sun.

The colour matches my dinner.

I’m gonna stop feeling sorry for myself and appreciate the excitement of a holiday.

Stepping out of our comfort zone isn’t always easy… but it will be worth it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1218 a scorcher of a busy day at work!

What a beautiful day today. It’s been sunny and warm which has been lovely. I was able to wear my shorts to work and not freeze.

I’m sitting outside writing this. It’s windy but warm enough.

I had another amazing sleep but when I woke I wanted to just stay in bed and had to talk myself into moving… to be fair, I had to 😆 but I was super positive. I kept saying “you’ve got this and today is what you make it, it’s going to be a wonderful day and you’ll get loads done”.

It ran around my head like a mantra and I smiled every time I thought it. Which was a lot.

The morning went slowly as I started on all the things that needed doing. I was clear and focussed and pleased with my progress. All the while, massively proud of my positivity.

The day is what we make it.

Then I saw my lovely friend Isy posted this.

A major shift in consciousness…. Wow. I love when something like this clicks with me.

Things happened that weren’t what I wanted to hear but I took a deep breath and got on with them. I did what needed doing. Still smiling. Proud of my lack of Julie style reaction.

I can’t pinpoint when it actually went wrong but I became overwhelmed with everything coming at me in the afternoon.

My list long out the window. All the while everything that’s happening is just adding to the list. I’m no longer in control, I don’t have time to write things down before I move on to the next.

I should say here, as I always do, that NONE of these things are the end of the world. It’s my fight or flight reactions that make them the end of the world in my head. Nothing is insurmountable (I’ve used that recently 🙄) but it’s true, I know that.

Yet I get ratty, defensive, put myself down to anyone who will listen and worst of all… laugh at myself for being so cocky in the morning. “”yeah right, you think you’ve got it sussed, you’ll never have it sussed”. I speak to myself in a way I’d never speak to my worst enemy.

I have to take Abbie the camper van to the garage to get a once over before she sells. I’m not happy with the steering and think she needs a new power steering pump though hoping it’s less than that.

I left the garage without a lift home and felt all tearful and angry as I left. I suppose it’s understandable really but I feel like a wee kid who needs to have a tantrum. I’m full of pent up irritation and anger, all of it unfounded. I’ve become irritated with anything that doesn’t go my way. Tasks that a few Friday’s ago I was positively bursting to tick off my list are creating anger and frustration as I can’t possibly imagine how I’ll be able to fit that into my busy schedule.

Again, lets have a laugh at that…. My busy schedule sees me sitting with my feet up in front of the tv most nights so I’m hardly rushed off my feet.

So thankfully Gayle agreed to come and pick me up after work and I sat on a kerb at the high school car park for a while. That helped me breath a bit more freely. She then made me laugh in the car which really helped.

Honestly my teeth are crawling in the back of my mouth right now….. I messaged Angela, my kinesiolgist, to pull forward next weeks’ appointment and she can see me at 7.30pm. This stuff works wonders for me and I know I’ll feel better when I’ve talked it through. I feel better writing it down too.

I always vow when I’m like this, that I’ll never feel like this again and yet it keeps coming at me. I wish I could just let the bad feelings go but I hold onto them, swing around on them and get irritated by how they make me feel. Maybe that’s what I need to work on tonight.

Sorry…. I hear myself. I had such a lovely Sunday. I need to hold on to that…. Which means more photos!!!

Passing the Tall Ship on the Clyde.

On our way… Craig took this!

The Renfrew Ferry jetty. This is the only Clyde ferry that still operates across edge 200m river. The Captain said it was very popular with pedestrians.

Heading to the Erskine Bridge.

The Glen Sannox, CalMac ferry still under construction.

The Cloch Lighthouse.

Dolphins…. Honestly! 😂

Millpond.

I’ll leave it there for now. still millions more to share 🙄

Health Kinesiology awaits.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1180 back home, washing done, van cleared out and Starbucks with Gayle!

Once again it’s all in the title! 😂

I have to be honest and say I didn’t feel great when I woke this morning. I’ve been super dehydrated all week, not drinking enough while we were away, and have had tight neck and shoulders for a fair bit of the week. Either that or I was sitting in a draft 😂 It was so tense this morning. My head was thumping too…. But onwards and upwards.

We took the dogs out early on. It’s been like April today with sunshine and showers… we missed the shower thankfully. I cannot believe it’s actually July!!! How did that happen.

Wait till you see my next thistle pic…. I think I should call this one barbed wire instead. It does sum up the day!

We met a couple of neighbours along the way and everyone was feeling a bit down. Must be the weather. It was good to have a chat and a wee hug and try to cheer other people up, all the while feeling pretty grumpy myself.

I pulled the van over to the front door and emptied everything out. I cleaned all the seat pads, swept it out, cleaned the sink and hob. I love getting it all done after a holiday.

As I dumped everything at the door, Craig had it all moved and dealt with before I finished outside. He’d even hoovered up after Bhruic who is now moulting everywhere! He’s a good ‘un 😂 (well, for today anyway…😆😘)

I then went for a soak in a hot bath and actually took some ibruprofen to help loosen my muscles. That really did help. She who normally hates baths, loved this one. It was nice to just lie back and breathe for a bit.

I did have several interruptions…. The first was Craig telling me a lady had just stared into the dining room window as he sat working at the table…

Then literally a few minutes later to tell me she’d just walked in the front door and asked him if the pub was open as she fancied some pub grub!?!?! He was in a T-shirt and boxers as he ushered her out the front door!?!?! That’s a first. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I arranged to meet Gayle for a Starbucks at 2pm since Craig was making dog behaviour enquiry calls and I caught up on all the shop news. I see loads of new stock in which is exciting. She doesn’t need me this week as Lochwinnoch is closed for holidays so I get some extra days off. I’ll miss the shop banter but will be good to have a short week first week back.

So yeah, maybe post holiday blues, not sure, but my head is all over the place today. Guess I need to take some of this advice… just once I figure out exactly what it is….

Hope you all have a great Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️