Tag: self reflection

Day 1375 just the weather again…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 and some self reflection 🥰

Well it must have been calmer last night as “Julie with ear plugs” was out for the count…. In my actual bed. Check me.

What a great rejuvenating sleep. I felt so refreshed! (as I read that back it sounds like I woke up 20 years younger which was absolutely NOT the case 😂😂 )

Storm Jocelyn has been picking up throughout day.

It’s rained ALL day and the wind has been gusting on and off all afternoon but she really hits tonight.

The Tartan portacabin has been buffeted about… I said thank goodness I was there for the ballast 😂😂😂

I was really lucky that the last deluge stopped about 5 minutes before I left work so my drive home wasn’t massively different from normal. Except for the tree down at the top of the road. This is not my photo so credit to Edward McWilliams.

Our house is literally just around that bend. I had to take the detour on the back roads and had a van follow me as he didn’t know where to go.

We have lost the top of our wood shed unfortunately. It’s done well mind you. It’s an old bus windscreen box from my old job.

The sky was stunning when I got home.

So once again I’ve watched myself have better reactions to previous triggers. When we try to finish a van there are always last minute parts required, for a variety of reasons.

My thought process was always as follows: immediate panic, defensive, high pitched whiny voice, why do you need that, why didn’t I know about it, did I buy the wrong thing, I’m sure I had that in stock, where do ok I get it, I’ve never bought one of them before, how do I even know where to look, how come we need it when I’ve never bought it before, will it get here in time, tears, panic, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. You usually have to peel me off the ceiling when this happens.

The last time this happened I skyrocketed and came back down to earth pretty quickly, having seen my over-reaction from the outside looking in if that makes sense?

Today….

No problem.

Look part up.

Send screenshot… does this look ok?

Buy it.

Add to list of parts to buy in future.

Smile to myself.

That….. is how it should be done.

When you live with anxiety, you don’t just calmly stop and think. You catapult into the anxious oblivion.

Today I calmly thought and acted. No drama.

I love that I’m so aware of it too.

So that’s us both home safe tonight and hopefully by tomorrow the storm is over.

Hope you’re all safe and warm.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1276 our last day soaking up the glorious sunshine in Turkey ☀️🇹🇷☀️our last day of summer!!

For those of you who know me well, you will know that I’m already pre-sad about having to head home tonight. Craig knows that I love him and knows that I am looking forward to seeing him, but I am so sad to be leaving this incessant sunshine. Wall to wall sun for 7 days…. It’s been glorious.

I am truly in my element in the sunshine. I’m vitamin D’d up to the eyeballs.

I love the clothes I’ve brought to wear, I’ve felt comfortable in everything, in fact I’ll go so far as to say, I’ve felt great in everything.

I usually spend a holiday over indulging and I feel fat and frumpy in everything. I’m bigger than I ever was on holiday, when I was younger, and I just do not care at all.

I love the sunshine, I thrive in the sunshine. I can’t get enough of the blue sky. I can’t get enough of the sea.

I’m not a lover of the beach as such… sand disturbs my need for cleanliness…. But I love the sea. A beach deck is my idea of heaven. We’ve been lucky enough to enjoy this beach deck for most of the week.

Yesterday was a lot. I chose it, I wanted it but even for me, it was a lot in one day. we had about 4 hours driving in Turkey before we even thought about the boat over the Greece. I’m still glad we went but I’m not sure I’d commit to that big a trek on a future holiday…. She says 😂 I just wanted to use two country emojis 😂🇹🇷🚐⛴️🇬🇷🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️⛴️🇹🇷

We have another 9 or 10 hours of travelling tonight, which seems a lot after yesterday. We get home at 2am Scottish time which will be 4am Turkish time. Least we should sleep on the plane.

It’s lovely to be back on the beach deck today. I’m not reading, I’m not listening to music. We’re chatting but other than that I’m just listening to the sound of the sea under the deck…. And obviously writing this.

We’ve got on great. No hassle, no stress, very similar likes and dislikes. I wouldn’t have said anything if we hadn’t… but it’s important for me to say that we did. I’m not great in company 24/7…. I need my space. I think when you come in holiday with a husband or partner, you make assumptions about how they feel, what they like and dislike all the time. You put words in their mouths, you don’t always like to do the same things… we’ve just settled into a way of life here that suits us both. We had no pre-conceived ideas. We just went with the flow and it seemed to click. Overall you are probably way more polite to another person that you are with your partner. No snapping…. Note to self Julesie 😂😘

Being all inclusive was probably pointless but it’s allowed us to have what we want, when we wanted it and not had to think about paying as we go. It cost what it cost.

The hotel is beautiful. Big bungalow style rooms with a huge reception area, a shopping mall, 2 pools, flumes, huge restaurant (with outside balcony) and the one night a la carte.

The local “town” is not my favourite. It’s just full of shops with knock off sports gear. One is called English Primark, one of called TK Max and one is called JDe Sports to name a few. We don’t feel we need to buy anything as the world is smaller now and we can get things just as cheaply at home. I wouldn’t rush back to this area. We both saw what Bodrum has to offer, as we left the boat yesterday and Gayle reckons, any resort that has cruise ships is likely to have much better facilities. The restaurants were everywhere in Bodrum, with fantastic shopping scattered through them.

This hotel has done everything we needed it to do… gave us a chance for a relaxed week away in the sunshine. I’m so grateful to have been able to do this. I’m very lucky that Craig doesn’t fancy Turkey and allows me to come away with my friend.

We had to be out of our room by 12 and turns out our neighbours had organised a golf buggy for their luggage so we hopped on that!!

I’m pre-sad we’re about to go for our last lunch but I’m looking forward to a lovely salad.

And now we have precisely 4 hours left in the sunshine. Current view!

I’ve been in the sea and need to go in one last time!! I totally count everything down by “the last time”…. Torturing myself 😂😂

The last pirate ship parade….

It’s 3.15pm now and I feel I should put this out rather continue the countdown. I am looking forward to being back home. Once the sun goes down I’ll get over the fact that this might be the last heat I feel on my skin until March or April 😱😱😱

Turkey you have been everything I needed and more. Thanks to Gayle for coming with me as I’m absolutely certain I wouldn’t have enjoyed it anywhere near as much on my own.

Stay safe everyone 🇹🇷✈️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿