I did type 2023 there. Course I did…. 😂

Happy New Year!

I started off the year with a rotten sleep and “woke” feeling really tearful and a bit down.

We went to bed at 2am and I woke at 4am with a throbbing knee and came downstairs to lie by the light of the tree one last time.

I lay there thinking what I heard on a podcast yesterday.

Why don’t I choose to be happier?

Why do I choose to be sad?

Ellison had messaged me yesterday and said she hoped I was enjoying the break from work…. I actually cringed when I thought jeez… some people are just never happy (meaning myself…. Not her!!)

I realised that I’ve been miserable doing nothing, while it’s actually been valuable time off work. Time that I would kill for when I’m actually AT work. Why can’t I appreciate what I have when I have it?

I spent yesterday’s blog telling everyone to appreciate the present moment, yet I seem to have been in a proper humph about everything this holiday.

I have NOT been choosing to be happy.

I’ve been choosing to be sad.

I tried to go back to bed after I’d let the dogs out and fed them this morning.

I just lay there being unkind to myself.

Talking down to myself.

The voice in my head was incessant. Until….

Today I’m going to choose to be happy.

I smiled when I thought that.

Life is what you make it…. I said that only yesterday.

I got up and went outside with the dogs. The sky was lovely.

Trying to get a photo of the puppers and here comes Khaleesi the photobomb!!

She was having a blast.

I then wandered down the bottom of the garden in my jammies and turned around to see this lovely rainbow over our houses.

Khaleesi is still careering around 😂😂

It started to rain but I stayed out in it to appreciate the moment.

I can almost see two rainbows in this next picture.

I sent some of the neighbours some photos as I thought it was really lovely right over our houses.

I then headed back in and had a good chat with Craig about how I’d been feeling and what I thought I needed to change. It was good for me. I felt better after it.

We had a good tidy and clean and sadly took down the Christmas tree. I’ve lost my lovely twinkly lights. I say that but the house is all fresh and clean and ready for going back to work.

The pub was open for New Year’s Day from 1pm so we headed in for about 2. I made a point of putting on a dress and putting makeup on as I wanted to make an effort.

New Year’s Day is a big day in our village life. We see lots of the villagers we don’t always see.

Rachel two doors down was my New Year’s Day “drinking” buddy!

I’ve had a lovely afternoon. I switched from 0% pink gin and slimline tonic, to Coke Zero pretty early on as I think the tonic was giving me a headache. I was totally fine drinking Coke Zero and didn’t feel strange for once.

I didn’t take my new favourite scarf off! The pub was cold!

We had lots of good chat. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. The chat just flowed.

We came home and ordered a takeaway from the new Indian in Beith. It was super fast delivery, HUGE portions and really good.

We have steak pie for today but thought we would cook that tomorrow when we have more time during the day.

So after a shaky start, I’ve had a lovely day. I’ve turned my head around.

Rachel and I have agreed to start a weekly run…. Even if we just start walking.

We ran together in Tough Mudder last year and ran at a similar pace. I want to do some more cardio and know I’m not likely to stick to it by myself.

So first step taken to making some changes.

She who doesn’t do New Year’s resolutions…. 😂

So on the eve of my last day off, I realise I really appreciate the time I’ve had off work. Even if I did just rest, read and watch movies… I musta needed it.

It’s 8.20pm and we have 364 more days of this new year to go and 364 more chances to be happy.

It’s our choice.

Stay safe everyone ♥️🫶🏼♥️