Tag: Malinois

Day 1429 1900 days without booze!

I honestly can’t believe that I have gone 5 years and 2.5 months without alcohol.

Look at the stats…. I have not consumed 820,000 alcohol calories. Wow!

Now I’m not naive enough to realise that those of you who are quite happy with your drinking, just won’t get this at all.

Not drinking is still considered a bit weird. Alcohol is used to celebrate EVERY life event, in fact it’s fundamental to every life event.

The world revolves around it. It’s not a holiday until you’ve had a drink at the airport, not a holiday without a cocktails, not a wedding without a toast, not a birthday without a boozy party…. If you don’t drink then you don’t really fit in.

I chose to stop drinking as I didn’t like the person I became when I drank. I felt out of control. My life revolved around it. I couldn’t wait for it to be socially acceptable to have a drink on day off work. I was always ready for the next glass of wine. It would calm me and relax me and take away the fact that I was incredibly unhappy at work. I was a burnt out people pleaser who had no people pleasing left in me.

The only time I was happy was when I had a drink as it numbed it all.

I’d been on anti depressants for years. All the while drinking away…. Managing hangover, shame, regret and trying to please everyone the next day. No one would ever have known how unhappy I was. I was the life and soul of the party.

And then I started to cry and didn’t really stop.

It took me 3 months of being off sick from work, before I decided to do something about it and started Dry January 2019.

In the middle of February I was asked to become admin of the FB group After Dry January and that group of people were fundamental in keeping me going. They made it all ok. I’ve never even met these people.

I’ve only had two slip ups… once when the pubs closed for lockdown and the second when they reopened…. I drank as fast as I always did and felt awful the next day on both occasions.

It’s not for me.

Apart from being socially awkward these days and feeling a bit uncomfortable in my own skin at times…. It’s THE best thing I have ever done. For someone who desperately tried to fit in, I’ve finally chosen to stand out.

I am finally free.

The early mornings are my favourite time. When I feel fresh and bright and ready to take on anything before everyone else gets up.

By the afternoon I’m quite happy with my feet up writing down what is going on in my head.

How my life has changed.

How funny that I’m celebrating 1,900 days on the day that so many people round the world are partying on St Patrick’s Day.

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist did a play on this today.

We got up early this morning and went for a family walk.

It was beautiful sunshine but the sky was so dark in front of us. The power lines add to it…

I had a super productive morning. I’ve done a washing and filled the dishwasher. We’ve been to the garage and filled my tyres with air, hoovered the car, done a quick food shop as I’ve run out of Planthood meals. All of this before 11am. (unfortunately still have a tyre warning light on my dash but that’s for tomorrow!)

I had an early lunch as I was hungry and then had a bath.

I’ve decided to have an early afternoon and chill out and relax. I’m really tired after the excitement and exercise of the last few days. It’s been a great weekend.

My mind is still all over the travel thing and make the most of life every day.

Long may this continue.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1256 a very productive but anxious day…. 😔🫶🏼

Ok so another morning blog rant to record the actual state I am in just now.

Oh my god this car insurance thing is the gift that keeps on giving…. 😔

I’ve been awake since 3am.

I’ve made a list of all the things I need to do to try and stop my head from buzzing. I have 3 precious days off and yet I don’t feel anywhere near as happy as I should, at that.

Number one priority is to get this car insurance debacle sorted once and for all.

I should have just given in and paid the double insurance 4 days ago but the injustice of it all is pushing me to every last ditch attempt. I do not want to give up my 20+ years no claims too easily. I want to try every angle.

I’ve been on the phone to car insurance every lunchtime this week except Thursday because I forgot. Having Khaleesi in work was a good distraction. 😂

I moved down to the spare room at 3am so I didn’t disturb Craig. I wrote my list, read a bit and seems I did get back to sleep at some point.

The red is awake time. I know that’s nothing compared to some people but it’s so infuriating when I know I am causing all of my own stress through my own anxiety. I am making all of this happen.

I called Esure st 8.04am. I was on the phone for 12 minutes…. Only to be told it’s a decision for the underwriters.

Call back at 10am.

I hoovered the whole house.

I called back at 10.04am.

3 min tired of security and waiting to be hung up on.

Esure hang up calls when they are too busy.

Do it online.

I can’t. It won’t let me. It needs authorised by the underwriter.

I need to keep calling back until I can get past the 3 minute mark and get in a queue.

I burst into tears. (Yeah again)

It’s so bloody infuriating.

So I’m sat here having a good cry, writing this and I do feel a bit better.

There is some inner child inside me, having a total hissy fit that I have to go through all this. My teeth are grinding.

Today I will pay the extra premium if this last ditch attempt fails. I won’t tell them that though, if I can ever get through.

So, dog walk time it is. I split them in Freya and Bhruic and leave Calaidh and Khaleesi to last.

It’s dry and mild. We have a lovely walk. It does help so much to be out in nature.

I then came back and took Calaidh And Khaleesi up the hill. Calaidh can be off lead for most of it and Khaleesi gets a shorter walk.

It’s not the easiest having two Calaidh/Khal’s. As Calaidh was off lead I always call her back and Khaleesi thinks I’m calling her. She comes bounding towards me when I’m wanting the other one. It makes me laugh.

Watching Calaidh in the distance.

Checking out the cows…. look at her wee right paw… that’s the sore one. She has a hope, skip and a jump every now and then. She’s a wee soul.

So when I came back I dialled the insurance again….. SOMEONE ANSWERED STRAIGHT AFTER THE 3 MINUTE BLURB!

I was on the phone for 54 minutes. 😳

Esure will not accept the 23 years no claims either.

So they quoted on 3 years and I paid it.

I was obviously on hold for a lot of those 54 minutes…. the hold music was “Wonderful Wold” and “Amazing Grace”…

🎼🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

“I once was lost but now I’m found”

“… and I think to myself what a wonderful world”

🎼🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

It’s enough to calm my mind and realise how far I’ve come. The world didn’t stop turning because I only have 3 years no claims bonus on my car insurance.

It’s was such a relief to finally stop fighting. I was never gonna win, I just had to try.

Craig called to say he was on his way home so I suggested Mocha Jak’s for lunch. I needed cheering up and when you don’t drink, there’s always cake and coffee.

We both agreed we didn’t need the cakes…. AFTER we’d eaten them. 😆 The Biscoff Rocky Road was pretty special.

Once we got back home I spent the afternoon ironing.

I NEVER iron clothes.

Except when I have holidays to pack for. 🙆🏻‍♀️

It’s a bit early to be ironing for Turkey 🇹🇷 but at least a fair bit of it is done. I just might be a creased mess when I’m there.

I’ve fed the dogs. Hung up washing and run the dishwasher.

I am shattered now and just sat down. I might never eat again after that Biscoff Rocky Road.

This made me chuckle 🤭

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1255 the day Khaleesi went to Tartan Campers & lovely dinner at Gro Coffee

It’s 8.42pm and I’ve been awake since about 4.30am….. I’m shattered but I’ve had a lovely day. I’ll make this quick!

I took Khaleesi to Tartan Campers today just to give her a different experience.

It was a very different experience for me. We often have dogs in Tartan but is the first time I’ve ever taken one in.

She was a wee bit breathless in the car on the way down. I made her a wee bed under my desk… she does look a wee bit sad here.

She relaxed into it.

She was super excited to go into the workshop. She was sniffing around and loved all the attention she got.

Here she is visiting Ellison in upholstery. She jumped up on this seat and sat smiling away, chuffed with herself.

Honestly she was amazing today. She never barked once, I was able to let her off the lead and wander around. She never moved as we all stepped over her at times. It was lovely to spend time with her.

I ran her home, got changed and headed back down to Irvine to meet Andrena and Linda,from the Fit Body Farm, for dinner at Gro Coffee in Irvine. (DECAF!!)

It was lovely and sunny when we arrived.

We had a selection of food between us. I love that. A chicken and peppers pizza, some crispy buttermilk chicken strips, some bread and oils and a caprese salad.

It was really lovely and so good to see them both. They are both so bright and cheery it’s lovely and warming to spend time in their company.

We’ve set our next date for 2 months time!!

Home now yawning my wee head off and Khaleesi has been out for the count all night Craig said! Too much excitement today.

Bless her.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1252 a fairly normal day!

It’s 7.07pm and I’m sitting in front of the tv bonding with Khaleesi.

Bless her wee cotton socks. She’s such a sweetie!

I had another great sleep last night, we went up around 8.30pm. Back to early nights. I know I would have more energy if I did some more exercise but I can’t quite bring myself to do it.

I got up at 5.30 as Khaleesi wanted downstairs to see Craig. I got the dog food out the fridge and defrosted it in the sink as I had my shower… served it all up ready for the OG3 to come running down the stairs.

I fed Khaleesi.

I had 5 bags to take to the Cancer Research shop after work and Craig and I loaded them in to the back of the car.

By the time I headed back into the kitchen, all 3 bowls had been decimated!

I love how confused I was by that.

Really confused and couldn’t understand it until Khaleesi puppy nudged my leg!

Counter surfing is not something we’ve had to deal with much is as our 3 don’t have long legs…. 😂 lesson learned Mrs Four Breakfasts won’t get that chance again. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂🫶🏼

My drive to work was lovely…. Not having to watch for any potholes in the road is quite relaxing.

Last night I’d gone through all the Bertie paperwork and found that all the recent service and MOT was missing. I emailed the garage.

Pretty much first thing this morning they sent up all the paperwork and proved the car had been MOT’d and is due at the end of August 2024. Result. I’m really pleased as I was staring to think they had made it up…. Oh me of little faith.

I also had to use the wipers for the first time today and they were dragging really badly across the windscreen. So I messaged and asked for a new set to be sent up.

Boom they are sending them up!

The not such great news centres around the insurance. The no claims bonus.

Abbie’s insurance will only prove 3 years no claims. They say that when I took out the policy, they mirrored my no claims bonus that I had with my old Beetle. I bought the van in June 2020 with my redundancy and didn’t sell the old Beetle until October 2020.

I very vaguely remember this. At no point in time, in the discussion, did they warn me that I’d lose 23 years of no claims.

Currently I have lost 23 years of no claims.

I have to say that I don’t feel anywhere near as bad as I would have in the past.

I am irritated by the injustice of it. I still have a couple of avenues to follow up but it really isn’t the end of the world. It’s only a little infuriating. Jeez, what has happened to me?! I love it.

I feel calm about working every angle to resolve it. I don’t feel panicked about it. If the worst comes to the worst, I have to pay more money for my insurance. That’s not good, but it is ok, if that’s what need to happen.

I went home via Cancer Research and dropped off the 5 bags. I used to be sooooo anxious about doing that. Today… drive there… park… take them in… wee chat… back out… drive away. Easy.

I’ve folded away washing, done a poo pick, tidied the kitchen, filled the bins, put the blue cardboard bin out and cuddled with Leesi puppy since I got home.

As I cuddle her the other come up to sniff and say hello. I’m so proud of the way Craig managed their introduction. He’s done a great job.

The sky is lovely tonight.

That’s taken me 45 minutes to write and she’s still here.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1250 no sunshine but shopping, village flower show and pub!

Wide awake at 4.45 this morning. I slept really well, just woke up early and stayed awake.

It was back to normal this morning for a Saturday, just me and the three degrees!

It was warm but misty and cloudy all day here! Mum just messaged to say they had a glorious day and they’re only an hour and a half away.

I just need to say that Craig cleaned our windows today and oh my word, I can see the whole street!!!! We live on a main road and only a pavement between the windows and the road. You are aware they are deity and need cleaned but the clean windows are a total revelation!!!

He also brought some beautiful flowers from the garden and put them in a vase.

After dog walk I was up and out to Braehead Shopping Centre. I had in in my head I need another pair of trousers.

This is me in my own clothes. The combat trousers are actually a size too big now and they look ok but are not comfy to wear.

I tried on these black joggies but I tried on the size too small. Size 12 M&S combats fit me but size 12 joggies felt a bit too tight.

Still too tight even with a black t shirt 😂

I still love these camouflage combats but I know that I won’t get enough wear out them.

Like the style of these but I’m not an animal print guy.

I could get them in another colour maybe.

Tried on the joggies in the right size and decided they were good to go!!

I had a wander round the shops and got a text to ask if I was free to help support the judges at the Gateside Horticultural Society Flower Show…. I was a half hour away. I was pretty much done with shopping so came home.

They didn’t need me! 😂😂

So I did housework instead. Once again we had STUFF everywhere so I put all of the stuff back to where I belongs.

At 2pm I popped in to pick Claire up and we headed over to the village school for the first part of the Horticultural Show.

Check the size of this cabbage…. Hand for reference!!! This was grown by my neighbour 4 doors away from my house. I couldn’t believe it. It’s massive.

We then headed back down to the village hall and saw all the flowers.

They are absolutely stunning.

Some of my neighbours entered this. I love the flowers and the card. It didn’t win a prize but was lovely.

I had a lovely wee cream tea with Claire and chatted to some older neighbours that I haven’t probably seen since last year. Lovely chats. They all said it was nice to see the youngsters involved yet someone did ask me if I was “still” working… I panicked silently thinking they thought I was at retirement age 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

So in other news, the Scottish Dog Behaviourist page is doing really well and gained another 150 FB followers overnight as a result of a Khaleesi and Calaidh video clip he shared.

I remember when we were counting and were chuffed when he got up to 50!

I’m so proud of everything he’s achieved. I’ll share the clip so you can see them!

Khal & Cal’a first play

It’s great to see his page grow.

I think Khaleesi is feeling quite at home now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1249 a gorgeous day off work! Even hotter!

It’s been a scorcher today. What a truly beautiful day. ☀️☀️☀️

I’m so lucky to have had the day off work to enjoy it.

I had a dreadful sleep. I was going to call the blog… “can Tiramisu really keep you awake?!?” 😂

I have no idea what did keep me awake. I had half a bottle of alcohol free Kopparberg and some Tiramisu with dinner last night. This was me for most of the night….

Wide awake!!!!

The bedroom was hot which didn’t help. Someone may or may not have been snoring but shall remain nameless 😂

I moved downstairs at midnight and tried to sleep under a crochet blanket. It was much cooler and I did sleep, I know this because I then woke up cold! Figures.

So traipsed back upstairs to bed for a few hours. Eventually got up at 7.

Check Craig’s new T-shirt that says MAL-IN-WAH (Khaleesi is a Malinois in case that doesn’t make sense to you!!)

Safe to say that’s she’s settling in great.

We had some freshly ground coffee(it sounds so lovely when you say it like that!) and then decided to take the FOUR dogs out for a walk.

FOUR…..

For the first time.

And it actually went very well.

As I said, it’s a beautiful morning, it’s hot. I have shorts and a vest top on at 8am. That doesn’t happen often up here. (Sometimes I write like we are in the North Pole… 😂😂)

I should say here, Craig was with me. No way on this earth I’m doing 4 by myself.

Khaleesi thought it was cold and wet when she heard she was coming to Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 it’s almost been the best weather all year this week. What a great way to get her used to the climate.

Here she is looking positively tropical on her outdoor bed!

When I got back I crossed lots of things off my list.

Called to reschedule my Breast Screening Clinic appointment which is the day before we go on holiday, right in the middle of the day and in the opposite direction to work! I changed it to the same day at 9am so at least I’m not out of work for a huge chunk of the day.

I hung out the washing.

I sorted all the stuff that I took out of Abbie the Campervan and decided what will go back into Bertie Beeetle…. Which is precious little to be fair 😂😂 tried to find a home for the rest.

I picked up my HRT prescription, ordered in the nick of time as I’d used my last patch.

I posted jeans I sold on Vinted.

I went to the little gift shop to see Gayle and bought ANOTHER Christmas present.

Who actually am I these days?!?

I went to Tesco and did a food shopping to cover the weekend.

Spectrum Windows came to have a look at the patio doors at the back of the house as the locks are being temperamental.

Craig came home at lunchtime and suggested Mocha Jak’s with Khaleesi. Now I should say that I bought plenty for lunch but I am NEVER gonna say not to a coffee shop!! Also think that he likes the fact that Khaleesi was found at a coffee shop. (

Actually I’ll do a link to his FB post from yesterday, telling her story)

Khaleesi of the Unbreakable Spirit – Scottish Dog Behaviourist

I ordered a halloumi and pesto salad bowl. I am OBSESSED with salad. I also ordered a Strawberry cream brownie. 😋

Oh my actual word it was exquisite and I only managed a tiny bite sized piece and brought the rest home. My stomach has shrunk!!

Phew, as I write that down I feel quite justified for sitting out in the sunshine. It’s still only 4pm. The day is yet young.

Have a great weekend y’all!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1246 a crazy busy day at work and Khaleesi’s 1st full day 🐶🐶🐶🐶

We were in bed for 8.30pm last night!

We were all knackered. We had Khaleesi and she didn’t crack a light apart from breathe all night. It does wake you up having a second monster in the bed every time you roll over though.

I am still shattered today and I’ve yawned a lot. Proper non stop yawning. Energy changing.

It’s been a stunningly beautiful day. Pure blue skies the whole time. And hot. It was so lovely to sit outside at lunch.

I was a bit emotional before work today and there were a few tears. Can only think it’s the hormones and the changes that we are all going through at the moment.

I feel anxious that I just want Khaleesi to have the best life as she’s been through so much but rather than me assuming it will be easy, my head looks for all the reasons it might not be. Four dogs is a huge commitment.

We will all get used to each other. I’m just worried I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing to them.

Craig is so brilliant with them. Khaleesi now wants to play and be a part of the gang.

Craig took her to Mocha JaKs today. She met some cows and sheep along the way. It gets her used to different sights and smells and Scottish coffee shapes. She used to go to the Bhuddist Temple coffee shop in Spain. She was found lying outside a coffee shop when she was rescued.

Work was so busy I felt a bit out of control. Constant yawning didn’t help.

I’ve been to the Kinisi-flow class, with Gayle, in the village hall and I feel so much better after it. Much more relaxed. I’m still yawning!

Here we are bonding just now.

All will be well.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1245 another whirlwind of a day but Khaleesi is home ♥️

What a day. I am shattered!!

I was up at 5.20am. Showered, lunch made and out with the dogs by 5.45

A last pose in the garden before 3 became 4.

Holly next door kindly let them out mid morning and Craig was home with Khaleesi by 12.30pm. He made great time having left at 5am.

Work was crazy busy. The sun brought everyone out. At one point we had 4 lots of people waiting to speak to someone. I sat down outside for lunch and was interrupted twice! Don’t get me wrong, that’s what we’re there for, I’m not complaining it was just THAT busy.

So virtually no work done today other than to add to the list of things to be done.

In the background…..

  • I’ve almost run out of HRT meds so had to call the doc re a repeat prescription
  • The company I’m buying the car from hasn’t sent through the paperwork so I had to chase that
  • When they did send it through they then chased me twice to sign it, don’t they know how busy I was!!?
  • When I finally tried to sign it a bit wasn’t right so had to get them to change it
  • They chased for the payment again
  • Then I had to try and change my existing van insurance over to the car and their system was done so I had to call back
  • All the while Craig is travelling home with Khaleesi and sending me photos and videos of their progress

As I said, what a day!

We are all out in the garden, it’s been a scorcher!!

We are watching the dogs find their way around each other. Here I am saying hello.

Calaidh and Khaleesi are starting to play together. Bhru and Freya are more wary but that will come.

She loves Craig!

He’s been working relentlessly with the 4 of them. Integration into a pack of 3 has to be managed.

So not as relaxed an evening as it could be but I’m managing things way better than I would have in the past. I’m letting things wash over me in a way that makes me very proud. Despite the chaos of the day, I’ve laughed at it and things have fallen into place.

I love the calm when it comes to stay.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1242 1st September 2023 and it’s all go in a life changing kind of way today!

Some days just sail on by and some days make their mark with some real life changing decisions.

Today is one of those days. 1st September 2023 (can’t actually believe it’s September).

So Abbie the Campervan is sold. There were tears this morning as I realised I can’t get to work on Monday as Craig is away so figured I’d have to hire a car for a week.

My anxiety was on overdrive as Craig was helping me look for a car and all I heard was “what do you want what do you want what do you want what do you want it depends what you want!” That is certainly not what he really said. My head is screaming I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!!

I had my heart set on a Caddy so that I could make it into a Campervan and “keep my camping oar in” as it were.

Craig told me last week that wasn’t the best idea but I was adamant. It’s only since last night that I clicked that a car was really what I needed, but what kind?!?

Decisions, decisions. When you suffer from anxiety these are not exciting times, not fun decisions to be making. Your head doesn’t think straight it makes lots of noise and panic and doomsday scenarios. Really it just needs to calm the f down and start thinking straight.

I love that in the midst of all this drama I actually found the perfect car before 8.30am. The garage called at 8.40. They will deliver. One years’ warranty.

Meet Bertie the Beetle!

I’m not sure that I ever was a namer of cars and yet here I am, naming another car. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I had a VW Beetle before I got Abbie the Campervan so I know it’s a great drive. Although she’s called Bertie, I’m not sure my car will ever be a boy 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂😂 anything goes these days!

Here’s my old one.

So in other HUGE news …..

You may need to sit down……

As if we don’t have enough dogs already… we are getting another dog.

There. I said it. It’s out there.

This is Khaleesi….. and Craig first met her when he was out in Spain to look after her and 4 other dogs.

She was a rescue and was badly injured and walks with a limp. Jo, her owner, took her on and loved her back to health. Jo is moving back to the UK and her lifestyle does not suit Khaleesi’s injuries so she is heartbroken at having to re home her.

Craig messaged me about a month ago when Jo asked someone to take her.

I agreed that he could message her, as a back up, as he loved her so much. I didn’t think for one minute that Jo would want her to leave Spain.

Within an hour of his initial message to me… Khaleesi was coming to Scotland!!! 😳

Craig is so excited about having her. I knew he thought she was very special. She can’t get a lot of exercise due to her injuries the poor wee soul. I can’t wait to meet her and have lots of cuddles.

I told Craig I will still have to be able to get out and do my travels and he’s said that was ok.

Deal.

She left Spain this morning with Tito The Transpawter…. About exactly the same time I put down a deposit on Bertie. It’s all happening.

And the days does not end there my lovelies…. 😂

I took Bhru and Freya for a walk and then had a photoshoot with the 3 OG puppers.

Craig has pressure washed all of the grass and decking ready for Khaleesi’s arrival. It’s looking amazing.

We just need to stain the decking but it didn’t dry enough today.

It’s not even 11am by this time.

I went out for lunch with Crochet Hooker Evelyn as a 50th birthday treat!! Still milking that 2 months before my 51st 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Had a lovely lunch at Mocha JaK’s and great chats. Forgot to take a pic but did take my lunch. Avocado Stack. Yum. Thanks Evelyn!

She dropped me at The little gift shop as I was going to treat myself to a new bag for my holidays. I had a great chat with Gayle AND…… started my Christmas shopping!!!!!!!

Me.

Christmas shopping in September?!?!

Who even am I anymore?!?

She who scoffs at anyone who buys a Christmas gift before November!!

I walked back up the road and the only negative of the day is that my bunion is gowping.

Awfy sore body part. 😪

So, I’m walking home and Craig’s car drives past me…. With a canoe on his roof.

As you do.

😵‍💫

To be fair he had been out canoeing with our friend Euan… I just did not expect him to come home with one. 🛶

What’s this mum?!?!

Nothing surprises me anymore! 😬

Except that then I found out that I’ve won a Body Shop advent calendar as my friend Gemma ran a prize draw on her a Body Shop page.

What a day!!!!

I don’t think I can even keep up with my life just now.

Abbie the Campervan is parked up until maybe the end of September before she can be collected. By tonight I will have enough money for my new car…. All from a lovely lady who hasn’t even seen the van yet. I was terrified that I couldn’t sell the van and I found someone just like me, to buy her.

This has taken me way too long to write so I’m going to relax after all this excitement.

Have a great weekend!

Phew!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️