Tag: irritable

Day 1316 a ratty day but ending with a lovely dinner with lovely ladies!

Oooh I’ve been a ratbag today. I’ve been so ratty… I don’t know why, but I’m snapping at everyone and everything that’s not going my way.

I know I’m better than this.

I don’t want to be that person…. I just feel a bit meh just now. This is the week of my birthday and I usual count down the days in November. Not so much this year. I cannot believe it’s a year since my 50th!! Where has the year gone?!

Listen to me sounding all Eyore…

I’m sorry. I want to be full of sweetness and light. I’m not living in wonder at the present moment, I’m just just a bit flat.

I went round to the beach while I waited to meet Andrena and Linda for dinner at Gro Coffee. It’s dark and mean and moody…. The sky is full of passing rain showers. The Isle of Arran invisible behind the clouds.

Gro looks lovely in the dark with all of its lovely lights. Very inviting.

I came in early and it’s such a lovely space and it was cold and dark in the car. This was a very good idea. I’ve ordered a decaf coconut milk latte.

There are good tunes playing and it’s immediately lifted my mood. I’m excited to catch up with the girls and hear all about the Fit z body Farm.

I guess we can’t all be happy and full of the joys of spring (🤷🏻‍♀️) every day.

The key is how you manage the less happy days. Being aware is half the battle. I’ve been apologising to everyone all day. 🥺😬 One day I hope I will be able to keep calm and not get flustered. I have set myself high goals eh?!

Spending time in a lovely place with lovely friends is always going to help lift your mood.

We had a lovely wee catch up and the loveliest food.

We shared a Cajun chicken pizza, buttermilk chicken strips with BBQ and Siracha sauce, bread and oils and Caprese salad.

Gro Coffee is just so pretty.

This is really blurry but I had to get a cake for Craigie! I didn’t have one as I couldn’t have fitted anymore in. 😂

It was a lovely evening with lovely people who are good for my soul!!

I’m also hoping there’s some cake left over for tomorrow…. 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1309 an angry monster day 😡😤 then calm 😌

She who lives in the present moment, appreciates the smaller things in life, is calm and chilled out these days, showed a whole lot of ugly today…

I woke with the alarm at 6.15 which is unusual… but I was aware of feeling strange before the alarm went off. I know how ridiculous that sounds…. I felt breathless and antsy… nervous…. There is nothing to be nervous of today.

I just felt off.

I got up and found that wonderful time of the month had arrived. I believe this was on account of me missing 3 progesterone pills this month…. I forgot to take them one night and yesterday I found one floating at the bottom of my water bottle. To my terror. I thought it was a wasp?! Go figure.

Anyway…. I have a reason for my grouchiness….. but I’m like a volcano of irritability…. Sparking off at anything and everything…. Not actually keeping it inside. Even my boss mentioned how I piled on the heat firing questions at him before he even got into work.

I was incensed and yet nothing was any different today than it was yesterday. Except my reactions.

We can choose how we respond to day to day life. I wasn’t present enough in the moment to respond properly today. I was kicking off as if everyone was out to get me.

I heard myself say… “everything is going wrong”… “everything needs done 2 or 3 times”… “this is too hard”. I gave myself a difficult day. My inner child threw her tantrum arms up in the air all day.

The truth was it was a beautiful day. I took these photos at 7am out in the garden with the dogs.

The moon was a perfect crescent although it’s more of a dot in this photo. 😬

My lilies are beautiful.

And, despite having a thumping angry headache all day, I came home and went over to the hall for Kinisi-flow and I loved it. It would have been so easy not to bother.

I worked hard, I felt strong and the headache finally left.

I love it when the calm finally breaks through the noise.

I appreciate the calm even more.

Here’s the sky at 4pm.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1183 dog walk, work and village hall accounts

Not certain that I’ve add the best job of living in the present moment today. My head has been all over the place. I am super antsy, niggly, irritable and I feel like my back teeth are crawling. I just cannot settle. There are tears burning as I write this. They’ve not been far away for a fair bit of the day.

I’m just so unsettled just now that I feel like I’m caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and drama. I know I’ll read this back sometime (probably fairly soon!) and think jeez get a grip, way too much drama….

I’m in a right fankle since we got back, I feel like things are in a mess, I can’t find anything and I’m just irritated by it. I’m irritated by everything to be honest.

I’ve actually just had a wee smile to myself as we are sitting out in the garden and Craig is sitting opposite me and has no idea the craziness going round in my head. He is in oblivion which is sometimes how it needs to be. He doesn’t need to know, there’s nothing he can change to fix it. he’d probably tell you there was nothing wrong with me.

Again the main reason for my blog. Everything is a bit better when I can write it down. It calms the noise a bit.

I got up at 5.30am to walk the dynamic trio (is that even a thing?!? 😂) . We walked. There was NO way I was going to run today.

It’s cloudy but dry. We have a lovely walk and don’t see anyone.

I start to take photos of some lovely flowers and thistles.

These guys made me laugh! The one on the left was a wee bit intense and scary looking. 😂

I got loads of thistle pics this morning.

These are going to be amazing when they all bloom. They’re right across the road from my friend Anne’s house. She’d better keep a lookout so I don’t miss them 🫶🏼😂

Work was fine today too. We’re still super busy so every day flies by!

We’ve had a lovely salad dinner again followed by some Dime Bar cheesecake. It was pretty good!

We’re finalising the village hall accounts tonight…. Which I could see far enough but it will be great to get them done so we can arrange the AGM. Rachel two doors down is coming to keep me focussed 😂

I’m very aware there’s a stroppy teenager inside of me that’s just in a big huff just now. Probably coz she’s not a teenager anymore 😆 by a long time!

That says it all and I need to remember this. We are all just here to live.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️