Day 1637 a very early and tired Rambling Sloth today – that once in a lifetime Aurora came back!!

Since I stopped drinking I have found a zest for life, that crops up at times, that feels a high way beyond what alcohol could give me. Wow.

Now I should say here, I am actually working at Tartan today. I haven’t worked a Friday in a long time but I’m full time this week to give me a Monday off for my trip to Milan at the end of the month.

I knew the Aurora was a very strong possibility last night. I kept getting alerts on my phone and then Rachel two doors down was the best alert ever….. “it’s here!” so I call Claire next door and drag her out the back and we “meet” in our respective gardens.

I then tell her that I’m now dragging her out the front and slightly up the hill so we can get the best views. 😆

We walked out the front door and met Emma, another of our running girls, wondering the streets 😆 and the 3 of us set off.

It’s not visible to the naked eye, but I still pretty impressed given that the 10th May showing was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

There are a lot of electric lines up here that spoil my shots so I use them. 😆

It was so beautiful… I stay out longer than the others as I keep taking photos and never know when to walk away, in case it gets better.

This is the village hall.

Back in the garden.

I am so chuffed and tired. It’s 10.20 by the time I get into bed which is late for me! Craig remarks when I come in that I just look SO happy….. this is what makes me tick. Capturing and sharing beautiful things. It may not pay the bills but the buzz I get off this is incredible.

I’m fast asleep when Craig comes up to bed at 12.30 and I get up for the loo…. My brother has posted some very vibrant shots above his house, on our family chat so I head out into the back garden and it’s there above our house and all over the sky, visible to the naked eye. Red.

I get dressed up and head out the front. Purple from this angle.

I head across the road and up the hill again.

I have no fear at all…. Even when I hear a cow munching in the field beside me!

That once in a lifetime opportunity is back and it’s brighter than it was on 10th May.

I am close to tears.

I cannot explain how this makes me feel. I am so glad to be alive, to witness this. So grateful for my courage letting me walk out in the dark and not be scared for once.

I should also say that I’ve put none of those through my photo filter yet. This is just an iPhone 15 pro and holding it in my hand.

💥 ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️💥

The stars are so vibrant too behind the colour.

There’s a car coming from the bottom left. Zoom in on those stars. ✨

Same car lights dull the Aurora but brightens the stars a bit.

Unfortunately Craig’s car was right outside our house.

The village hall again. The streetlights are stopping the real beauty but that’s kind of what you can see with your eyes without the phone camera.

And I am just blown away with gratitude for life. If Craig hadn’t come up to bed late I would have missed it.

He woke me in that high peak.

My alarm didn’t go off this morning because it’s not set for Tartan starting…. Oops… but thankfully I wake at 6 randomly with a pain in my right big toe joint….. 🥴😆 I went straight back out.

It’s cloudy and raining but very atmospheric.

What an amazing night.

Now I have to get a shimmy on or I will be tired and late for work!

And sending positive Aurora vibes for my Canadian bestie Tracey who’s off out to chase them in Vancouver now. It’s just starting for her!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️💜💚

Day 1500 of my daily blog!

Who’d a thunk it, as my lovely Gran would have said?! 💜

1500 days of writing an almost daily blog. Only interrupted by the odd bad life event and lack of signal on holidays last year.

I have learned so much about myself… the main thing being that when I set my mind to something, I really seem to stick to it.

I have staying power. who knew?!?

After going off sick in September 2018, with anxiety which sank into depression, I’ve been on a journey of self discovery and healing.

It hasn’t always been pretty.

In fact, at times it’s been pretty ugly.

In March 2020 I started to write a daily blog to keep a record of life in Scottish COVID-19 lockdown

So as I do on the big number days, I’ll have a quick round up of my stats.

1971 without alcohol
1371 without anti depressants
567 on HRT
513 fasting

Look how many units of alcohol I haven’t drunk!!!

I need to manage everything that goes into my life, to ensure that I give myself the best chance of peace and happiness.

This has lead to my love of day trips, exploring and re-igniting my love of travel.

There are days where this is absolutely a travel blog…. I feel for the lovely people I meet on trips, that join the blog and within days get the woe-is-me-I’m-crying-again blog. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I always promised I would try to be as honest as I can. The hard days really hurt and I have to show incredible vulnerability.

I just hope that someone reads this and realises it ok not to always be ok.

I think we all show the best of our lives on social media, and for some reason I am driven to show you the bad bits too.

I have no idea why I feel a calling to do this but I do. I’ve always said if I can help one person then it will have been worth it.

Also, selfishly, it allows me to process my daily mood swings.

I now know exactly what makes me tick.

I know that I need alone time to refocus.

I need silence to clear my noisy mind.

I need to control what I read, what I hear and quite honestly, who I listen to and who I spend my time with.

I need to surround myself with people who are good for my soul. People who bring out the best in me.

I love talking to strangers as you only get the best from them. So many strangers inspire me.

I avoid people who only talk negatively about others, as I find that drains on my energy.

I can read between the lines and trust my intuition implicitly.

You hurt me and I remember it for too long.

I hurt you and I never forgive myself, but I recognise that I have to do what’s right for me, and put myself first. I feel shame and forgive myself in cycles. I think of you often but I know that my life is better for me, this way.

I try not to talk about other people, I correct myself if I do, I try to see the best in situations and understand why people may act how they act.

I still get angry and blow my stack when things don’t go the way I think they should. I cringe at that but I recognise I do it because I care.

Hats what makes me tick.

I am incredibly empathetic but, finally, no longer put other people’s needs before my own.

That helps me too.

My life will always be a work in progress. (That’s a daft thing to say as everyone’s is… 😂😂 but you know what I mean!)

I have accepted who I am now.

I am proud of who I’ve become.

I still get upset on the down days (ironic!) but I mean that I beat myself up for it. I still have work to do on that.

So to everyone who’s been with me from the very start, for those who are just new, to those who dip in and out, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It means the world when you connect with me, when you comment or message or tell me how you feel, or how you connect with what I’ve written.

It’s very good to talk.

I do it a lot 😂😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1482 finally some heat in the west of Scotland! ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

It’s 6.30pm and I’m sitting outside in shorts and a vest top….. finally. It feels so good to feel the sun on my skin!

I know I had sunshine in Rome, but it’s been a cold start to the year in Scotland. Anyone who’s here on holiday now is soooooo lucky!!

You can imagine I’m like a caged lion… where can I go, what can I do this weekend?!?!

Unfortunately Craig is working all day tomorrow and is out all day on Saturday so I really need to puppy sit my own dogs. 🐶🐶🐶🐶

I have looked at campsites for Saturday night but not sure if there’s much point in setting up camp again for one night. Hmmmm decisions…. Right now I’m very happy sitting out on the decking and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin.

This is my current view!

I had a lovely wee night out in Largs, last night, with the Crochet Hookers.

We went to the Wetherspoon’s Paddle Steamer for dinner. It was really busy when we got in but the food is so cheap. The whole evening only cost less than £15 a head. I had vegan pizza which was surprisingly lovely, with hot chocolate and shortbread for afters. The hot chocolate was £1.76 and free refills. The shortbread was 71p!!!!

We did get a right good natter though. It was lovely to have a change of scenery.

It rained when we left so I couldn’t get any decent photos!

I actually really like this next one after I said that.

It was 9.30pm…. Way past my bedtime.

I set my alarm for the 5.45am run club, fully intending to be too tired and to roll over in bed, instead of going.

Last night was the first night of HRT progesterone for 2 weeks….. I was completely out for the count. I slept like a log all night. The alarm went off, I got up and had one of the best runs with Elly and Lynsey. Lynsey was photographer today!

Not sure I like my rear in this pic but I’m going to embrace it and then buy black leggings….

Lynsey has it ingrained in us that we have to touch the white line at the end of the road in Gielsand Estate!! We do it even when she’s not there.

I love this next one she took of Elly and I! It captures the sunrise run mood perfectly!

We did 5k exactly and I loved every minute of it.

It was so much easier than yesterday. I ran straight into a very cool shower again!

As I washed I really stopped to think about how far I’ve come and it brought some tears of gratitude.

I’ve come such a long way from the days where I could barely put one foot in front of the other even to walk the dogs.

I love the friendship of the run club girls. I appreciate their support and their encouragement. I love that I run so much further with them, than I would do on my own. I love the feeling of accomplishment. I love getting up early and running before everyone gets up.

I felt so alive this morning.

Fast forward to the half shut knife I am now… struggling to stay awake!! 😂😂

It’s been a good week at work too. It’s gone quickly and I’ve enjoyed it.

I made another lovely Planthood meal tonight….

This was one of the best I’ve had, if a little bit spicy! It tasted soooo good!

This is my latest view….. throwing a tennis ball as I type.

Will be an early night for me tonight I think. Hopefully a blissful progesterone induced sleep!

Stay safe everyone ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿☀️

Day 1473 a day of reflection ♥️

I did not get up for a run this morning. It’s dark and pouring with rain, I turned over and tried to ignore the fact I was awake in plenty time to go for a run, slightly beating myself up a bit…. Obviously!

I know fine well if I’d been meeting someone, I’d have gone out in a heartbeat, regardless of the rain, but it wasn’t happening this morning.

I’ve cleaned the bathroom instead.

I let the dogs out. The garden looks really fresh and green because everything is so wet. Things are starting to grown now. It looks really vibrant.

I’ve checked ahead in the forecast, as I do and it looks like we will finally start to see some warmth in the air this week sometime!

So if like me, you are heading out to work this morning in a bit of a funk… my friend Isy comes up trumps again with this…

I’m wrapped up now. Off to work.

Fast forward to tonight….

So, I’ve had an ok-ish day.

My head has been wrapped up in cotton wool and I’ve struggled to think straight. I’ve actually hit my temples a few times in an attempt to clear my head. Gently of course 😆

I’ve been irritable too.

Then I saw this and it does really help.

Just to breathe.

I didn’t get lunch until 2.15pm.

Holly next door had handed me in lentil soup and mac n’cheese last night, for my lunch today. How lovely is that?! So kind of her.

I heated it up then didn’t get to it for another 45 minutes… it was still amazing.

This…. ♥️

I’ve not been able to do it all day, but I have really tried. I feel like I’ve been arguing with my ego. It wants to be annoyed and angry at everything. There is absolutely no need to be angry.

I’m just tired and a bit flat. That is normal life. We can’t all be like Heidi the mountain goat, running about the world taking photos every day!!

Half the battle is knowing how you react in these situations and trying to correct it.

I felt much better by the time I got home and I made myself dinner.

Oh wow…..

These were just amazing. One of the nicest things I’ve eaten in ages. I’ve left a portion for Craig to heat up after work tonight.

I was then determined to get my exercise in, so took Calaidh for a walk up the hill.

She’s a happy girl. she’s a tiny black dot in this pic!

The bushes are starting to flower.

The trees are all budding now too.

There’s so much in life to be grateful for, even when you can’t see it sometimes.

Ooooh that little bit of wisdom brought a wee tear there.

I love it when the blog hits the nail on the head for me.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1439 4 years of my daily blog!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

4 whole years ago I started this blog…. I can’t honestly believe that something that started on a whim had become such a huge part of my everyday life.

I have always like talking…. Those of you who know me will agree to that…. Yet over these last few years I loved this silent kind of musing into my own head. I love my daily catch up with my mind.

Obviously there have been some days that I’ve not enjoyed writing, but that’s usually when something happens in the background that is really affects me, but it’s not my story to tell. Those days the blog feels like a chore. I’m not releasing anything, I’m skirting round the real issue and bottling it up inside. I know I could write a blog on those days and not post it… but that doesn’t seem to have the same appeal.

Why on earth have I decided to write down my every waking move and think that people will be remotely interested to hear what I have to say?!?

First of all, the Beith Townhouse asked for people to keep diaries in lockdown so that future generations would know what it was like… that was why I started. I published under Overland and Borders which is our Instagram page for over-landing. The Rambling Sloth was born about 125 or so days in.

To this day the Beith Townhouse probably have no idea that I did listen and took their request to heart… I’ve never told them, I’ve never seen them ask about it again but I just ploughed on regardless.

Secondly and more importantly, I’ve always felt a calling to talk about how I feel. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression, lost my big job as a result and I want to scream from the rooftops that it is ok not to be ok.

On the face of it I’ve probably looked like I had it altogether. The big smile, giggles and laughter, good job, nice car, lovely house, handsome husband and dogs.

However, the anxiety has always been there, I just didn’t have a name for it until I first went off sick from work in Sept 2018 and the doctor wrote ANXIETY on my sick line.

That created WAY more anxiety…. What a ridiculous word….. what will work think?!? She’s a scaredy cat? A wuss? (Scottish for wimp!)

I was the kid who howled the night before exams, who over prepared for every eventuality.

At the time I went off sick, I thought I was suffering from depression but I now realise that the anxiety was at boiling point. I couldn’t keep the lids on any of my pots anymore. I’d spent a lifetime trying to please other people and I was coming apart at the seems. Hiring a strong team at work was the final straw. They were stronger than I was now and I had to try and manage that whilst breaking apart inside.

The wine I was drinking, to make it all better, was only making it way worse.

I loved posting photos on FB but I didn’t want everyone just to see the good side of my life. For some reason I need them to know the truth….That somedays it’s very hard work to be me.

Ooooh that brought a wee lump to my throat.

Writing the blog allows me to live life in the present moment. To know that sitting here, with Calaidh cuddled up to me, is just as important a moment as heading to Iceland again at the end of the year. Every moment in time is what makes up our life. True peace comes from living in the present.

When I’m anxious or angry I’m focussing on the future or the past.

2024 has been a good year for me. I had a wobble for the first few weeks of February but that’s calmed down, for now and I’m back in control.

I know that life will not always be easy.

But writing daily will help me navigate it all.

I don’t say this very often but I am very proud of who I have become over these last few years. I’m so grateful to have gone through what I did, to allow this version of me to be free.

I still struggle to forgive myself for the odd wobble, I need to work on that.

There is nothing better than feeling calm and I’ve worked really hard to find it. I will never stop fighting to protect my peace.

When I speak my truth I will be calm.

As hard as it is to speak my truth at times, the sense of relief is immense. The noise inside my head stops. I can finally breathe.

I get such a buzz sharing my trips with you. Let’s be honest I get such a buzz being on a trip full stop… I feel like Heidi the Mountain Goat, bounding around trying to find the best shots.

That said it’s the only thing that unsettles me at the moment. I feel my life is drawn to travel and write about it. I have no idea how that would make me money but I feel that it will and something tells me that I don’t need to know the HOW, I just need to trust that it will…. I’m trying to find my niche and my way.

Off course this last year has seen the rise of the Scottish Dog Behaviourist and massive change for Craig. I’m so proud of everything he’s achieved. Like every couple who is honest enough to admit, we have our good times and our bad. He’s my biggest fan but can also pull the rug from under me at times…. And I to him… but that’s real life isn’t it? That’s how marriage works, the key is to try and work together to negotiate the bumps and be there to love and support each other. Tomorrow we celebrate our 14th anniversary. When we’d been together for 10 days we just “knew”.

Jeez, time is just a-passing us right on by.

I want to take the 4 year anniversary to thank you all for your support. I wouldn’t do it without all your kind words. I’ve “met” so many lovely people along the way. I always said if my sharing all helps one person then this would be worth it.

Craig still got the most likes of any blog the night he took it over for my 50th birthday. If you can spare a like tonight, I’d love to beat his winning blog. It would mean the world to me. (I’m not sure it will count since I’ve asked for it but hey… 🙄😂)

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1423 a crazy busy day with dog walk AND cooking 😂

A wonderful, wonderful sleep last night. I never heard Craig come up to bed, never heard a thing all night.

I’m using deep sleeps earplugs from Amazon. Snoring?!? I hear nothing but yeah rumour has it I am….. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😬 oops sorry…. I can’t hear a thing 🎧😂

I woke at 5.15am and snuggled back down for another hour. I felt so refreshed when I got up.

Once I’d had my shower I felt really stiff….. I haven’t walked the length of myself all weekend. Last weekend I walk 35 miles, this weekend less than 10,000 steps. I’m sure I feel more stiff when I exercise less.

I hobbled out to the car.

By the time I got to work I couldn’t walk properly. I couldn’t put any weight on my left leg. When I did I got an excruciating pain and my left gave way. I hobbled into the office. It was so painful.

I sat about for a bit but as sore as it was, I realised the more I walked, the more it eased off. I went for a jog around the car park… as you do at 8.10am. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂. It totally eased it off and I’ve been fine for the rest of the day.

Work was beyond busy today.

Just another manic Monday! A throwback from my 80’s singsong in the car yesterday.

By the time I got lunch I had fasted for 22.5 hours. It was just the fastest day.

When I got home I literally dragged myself out in a dog walk. I know I need to keep moving and exercise more.

It would have been so easy to come in and sit down.

I took Freya and Calaidh and despite the meh weather, we had a good walk. Exercise is good for the soul.

Check Freya with her wee bunch of cut grass in her mouth 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂

If you zoom in she has a mouthful!!!

I got another food delivery, this time from Planthood…. Only because I got a voucher for money off.

I decided to have Crispy Mushroom Shawarma With Garlic Tahini Sauce, Pickled Radish & Fresh Mint In Soft Flatbread. Sounds awfy fancy eh?!?

Here are the ingredients.

It’s so easily packaged and easy to make. It took less than 20 minutes.

This is what it turned out like and I can honestly say it was out of this world.

I wrapped it and it tasted so good and I feel really full after it.

I’ve had at least 4 of my 5 a day today and that feels good.

It’s been a good day. life is for living…. Let’s do it!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1408 a lovely Sunday still high on the dolphin buzz 🐬🐬🐬🐬

The dolphins are my top emoji. Figures.

I’m still buzzing from yesterday. My dolphin reel on FB has had 1.6k views which is a loads more than any other reel I have done.

It still only has 29 likes though but we can’t have everything 😂😂😂

I have literally just seen a FB post that said travel now, don’t put it off, don’t use money as the excuse as you will always find a way, life is short…..

I laughed as Craig walked in the living room and he asked what was funny….. I’m seeing this everywhere…. I thought I’d saved it…. It’s not there now. I can’t find it anywhere.

How strange.

So I’ve had a lovely day today.

I slept like a log and stayed in bed for a while. I spent an hour and a half clearing out photos on my phone. I went from 61.940 photos to 60,192 and videos from 1580 to 1509… I have a ways to go! 😂😂😂

I spent a bit of time on my Clever Fox self care journal. I’ve not been able to look at it while I felt low.

So back at it today and looking forward to reviewing my day.

I am so grateful that I got to see the dolphins yesterday. It was such a special trip.

It’s really lifted my mood and given me purpose again.

I’ve written a list of all the trips and events that I have booked or planned this year. Instead of thinking I have so few holidays to take,

I’ve added all of my Friday days off onto my holidays and in 2024 I have 73 days holiday. Now how amazing is that?!?!?

We had a trip out to B&Q today and I was treated to a vegan KFC 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 we just wanted a quick fix but I couldn’t order the chicken. The meal wasn’t the best but it also wasn’t the worst. You shouldn’t really expect a company that specialises in chicken to have mastered the art of veggie or vegan food. Not sure what’s going on there but I’m still not wanting meat.

We actually went out into the garden for a bit…. I swept the decking which was so badly needing done. I should have taken a before…

We sat out on the deck for a bit and I listened to the sound of the birds. It’s was so still and quiet and the birdsong was lovely.

I am calm.

It’s so lovely to be calm after the last few weeks of anxiety.

My trip yesterday was the perfect medicine.

I may just leave you with some dolphins… be rude not to. 😂

There are still another 900 off to go but yesterday’s were definitely the best.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1406 a lovely Friday day off 🌧️ ❄️ ☀️

I’ve had a lovely wee day to myself.

The best sleep again…. It was just the best, from 10 through to 7am. Not a blink in the night.

I felt really refreshed and ready to start my dog walk Friday.

First up a dog jog with Bhru in the rain. Bless her wee face.

Next up Calaidh and Freya. It wasn’t pouring with rain this time. We walked mostly but we did jog for a bit.

They had a good run about in the field.

They love my new dry trainers.

I saw my first daffodil.

The Khaleesi’s turn.

Spooky trees through a Mali’s ears. ♥️

We saw this lovely rainbow.

It was only minutes before we were hammered with hailstones. Poor Khaleesi was petrified.

We got back home and dried off… we were drenched.

I got ready and headed up to Asda for a food shop. Not been to Asda in years. I got lots of veggies and vegan food. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m just not into meat just now at all.

I came home, put the shopping away and made two pots of lentil soup. One with bacon and one without. Check me.

I know fine well I will probably end up eating the one with meat too!

The sun came out and I spent a half hour outside with the dogs… it was warm in the sunshine.

I made little videos of them. I shouted one of them to come while the other 3 stood still. Calaidh was the only one that broke ranks when she shouldn’t have but only because it’s all about the ball for her. 🎾

Oh I also decided to book one of the Waverley cruises. I’d been looking at a 3 day cruise…

I wanted to do the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday but I can’t get accommodation in Kyle of Lochalsh AT all.

So that meant I could only do the Monday. So it’s all booked. Gonna be a VERY long day from 7am to 10.45pm… and that’s without the drive to and from the Glasgow Science Centre! That said… I’m soooo looking forward to it. I should start to list all the things I have planned this year to remind me of how many exciting things I am doing.

So it’s been a good day, I’ve enjoyed myself. I’m calm and relaxed and looking forward to my wee dolphin 🐬 trip tomorrow. The forecast is very cold but sunny.

Currently typing this with a Bhruic on my knee….

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1395 a lovely evening chilling

I slept so well last night until 4am and then had work swirling round in my head for the next 2 hours.

I’ll get an early night tonight.

My anxiety was sky high this morning. Head spinning, stomach churning, chaos.

It passes mid morning and I settle into a calmer day with a few irritable flare ups.

It was a lovely day…. The sun was shining and it got windy and wet just before I left work at 4.

I went for diesel and bought some chilli heatwave Doritos and some mini eggs. I came home and had a spinach and ricotta pizza with a lovely glass of alcohol free rosé. Not the healthiest of diets but I’ve really enjoyed it.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that Khaleesi is missing out on this, she lying by my right elbow!!

The rosé is lovely.

I’m watching Manifest on Netflix. I’m really enjoying it.

I’m not out of this strange spell yet but I’m still focussing on gratitude while I go through it. That is so unlike the person I used to be. I’m proud of myself when I am aware of things like this.

The universe is trying to tell me something and I just need to stop screaming at myself long enough to listen.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1329 just a wee Monday at the end of November!

There was nothing dramatic to report today… except that I slept for 8 hours and 51 minutes last night…. We were in bed for 8.30pm!

Out for the count apart from some random dream just before I woke….. I looked at my watch at 6.14am… the alarm went off at 6.15am!

The moon was amazing this morning. this is not a great photo.

It’s massive and so low in the sky. It was a stunning drive to work and once again, I wished I could have stopped to take photos all the way.

Today went so quickly. It flew by. I didn’t open my diary to consult the to do list until 1.15pm…. I was able to cross a fair bit off my list. It’s rare that I remember anything from a Thursday to a Monday but today was a good day. A very good day actually.

I felt calm and in control. I enjoyed work and that doesn’t happen every day. There was no frustration at all. Check. Me.

I had the last of my soup for lunch and could stand my spoon up in it!

Check the label on this parcel delivered to work last week 😂😂😂

It was from a lovely supplier who lost her Dad last week and just needed to talk. I called to order parts on Thursday and listened to everything she had to say. It’s nice to be kind to people. It’s gets you a lovely label on a parcel 😂😂😘

I took 4 big bags to charity again after work. I smile that I used to be so anxious doing that before. I walk in, have a bit of banter with the staff, make them smile and walk back out… after spending £3 on a navy blue White Stuff cardigan and £3 on a Christmas T-shirt.

The moon was just as dramatic on the way home.

Another rotten photo but the cloud kept covering it and making it look all spooky and Halloween-like…..

I love driving to and from work enjoying the scenery…. Loving driving the car and genuinely enjoying the drive.

Right now I’m bringing a really good attitude to life.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1328 kayaking Sunday mornings 🛶🛶

Well how can I top last night!!?

I feel like my work here is done. I got the Aurora…. I am so proud of myself for puting on the big girl pants and heading out in the dark.

I really must do some work in kinesiology to try to get to the root of where this fear of the dark comes from?! It’s completely irrational…. Well, I say that…. It’s not irrational, the pitch black on your own is really scary, but I want to overcome that.

Anyway, I had the best day yesterday so trying to top that would be hard…. Thankfully I was going kayaking on Castle Semple Loch, in Lochwinnoch, first thing, with Lindsay. She picked me up at 8.30am!

It was 4°C today. It was -4°C yesterday so that’s a shift of 8°…. It wasn’t freezing but it was still cold. Sadly it was really clouded over and misty all day so none of yesterday’s crisp frost and clear blue skies.

I did not take many photos today as I’ve never kayaked properly before, so wanted to concentrate on what Lindsay was teaching me rather than stopping to take photos every 2 seconds.

I borrowed all of Lindsay’s kit and wore her dry suit while she wore Euan’s.

She had to help me get into all the kit!! I wore my fleecy leggings and a cosy top underneath it all. I was warm the whole time except for my toes towards the end.

She took me through all the basic training and helped me get into the kayak which is almost as hard as getting into the drysuit! 😂😂 slowly off we went. That’s me in the blue kayak!

We paddled all the way from the car park which is under the word “Regional” all the way up the loch and onto the Black Cart Water up to that red dropped pin!!📍

I only started taking photos on the Black Carr Water.

I’m trying to strangle myself with the phone lanyard round my neck!!

Lindsay had brought a flask of peppermint tea and a mince pie so I could practice getting out and back in… to be fair she helps me stay level so I didn’t fall in!

We had our tea on the bridge!

We were out on the water for a good couple of hours I think, maybe more, you lose track. Actually if we were in the water by 9.30 latest then it was about 2.5 hours.

It’s so calm and relaxing and I LOVED it. I find the whole planning for it and getting ready is a lot of work but Lindsay says that gets faster with time as I’m sure it does. Also the fun that you have when you’re out on the water means that you put up with the prep part. I should say here that Lindsay did all of the prep and will do all of the clean up afterwards. Who am I to complain?! I just know with sea swimming it’s the getting there and getting dry afterwards is the less fun bit.

We got chatting to a lady in the car park as we had some soup that I took in a flask. She said she had a dry suit that she quote… “couldn’t give away!!!”. 😳

Needless to say, I’ve been up to Knightswood in Glasgow this afternoon and am now the proud owner of a free drysuit that even in the sale today would have cost me £350!!!!

How lovely is that?!? She wanted it out the house and it was nearly new.

Not gonna lie…. It is MASSIVE!!!

As modelled by my handsome husband.

So it will do the job for me but it’s enormous, Craig will be able to use it too so that’s a bonus. She was the same size as me too!

I still can’t get over how lovely she was just to give us such an expensive piece of kit that she was no longer using.

I’ve also done housework this afternoon and am waiting on chicken in a mustard sauce to finish in time for dinner!

It’s been an amazing weekend.

I’m so grateful to Lindsay for being so patient with me today. For teaching me so much and taking me out and loaning me all of her kit.. I’m so grateful to that lovely lady, Catherine, for giving away her drysuit and the Aurora…. Well, what can I say…. I cannot believe I was lucky enough to see such a beautiful natural phenomenon. Wow.

Truly blessed.

I have a big smile on my face.

I hope you all had a great weekend and have the best week ahead.

For so many years, I sat in Gran’s chair, in the sunroom and could barely manage to walk the dogs. I’ve thought a lot about that these last few days and it’s lovely to appreciate how far I’ve come.

Right now life is pretty damn good.

Stay safe everyone 🛶🛶🛶

Day 1213 what a beautiful day it’s turned out to be!!

The forecast was for rain in and off all day today….. it’s been lovely and warm, so sunny and Ellison and I got a seat out at lunchtime again, which is always lovely. It breaks up the day and it’s especially nice after all the rain we’ve been having.

The forecasts seem all over the place these days.

I’m shattered today. I’m sitting outside in the garden and it’s 5.15pm and the sun is hot. There’s a strong wind but it’s not cold.

And relax.

I’m yawning my head off…. 🥱🥱🥱

It’s been a really busy day today. I didn’t get anything done in any order. There was no control today, no process, I just had to jump from thing to thing and try and write notes so that by a Monday, I have half a clue about what has happened. I had tears before 8.30am over something that was really nothing…. When I write it down it sound so ridiculous, so pathetic…. We keep getting the wrong windows delivered and last night it happened again. It’s not my fault but I feel wholly responsible. I don’t know why I take these things so personally. Even when I find out what happened and how it happened, I still feel to blame and that I should have done something differently. I hate letting other people down.

When does this self flagellation ever end?!? (I have a wry smile when I say that’s flagellation and not flatulation…trying to make light of the situation…)

Anyhow, the rest of the day was much better, just busy. We’ve ordered a Chinese for dinner as I have no energy for cooking. I think I need to get up and at it with a dog jog tomorrow. This lethargy needs nipped in the bud. tonight I need to rest…. A lazy evening with a takeaway and a movie sounds like just the ticket.

It’s funny how some days this all just flows on past like it doesn’t matter and other days I choose to wallow in it. The voice in my head, tells me I’m not good enough, that’ll teach me for having such a great start to the week…. And then I beat myself for my overreaction and so it goes on.

So I’m just gonna sit back and chill and enjoy the lovely evening.

I’m back in The little gift shop tomorrow so that will be lovely and I have my big adventure on the Paddle Steamer Waverley on Sunday which I’m super excited about!! The weather looks promising which will just be amazing.

I have everything crossed. 🚢🚢

The clouds are really wispy but it’s just so lovely to see the 💙 sky! This is my view just now!

So much to be grateful for! Hope Craig thinks that after an evening with me 🥱😂😘

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1163 I swam 750m before 7am this morning! 🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️

Bet you never saw that headline coming?!? I never….. let me reiterate, I swam 750m before 7am this morning and it was amazing!!! For some perspective that is 30 lengths of a 25m swimming pool. I have NEVER swam 30 lengths in one go before. Ever!

Until this morning that is, so now I have. 🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️

Always love a new emoji!

So one of the swimming ladies I met through my swim buddies Ellison and Eileen, Chantal, swims at a pond close to Tartan HQ. It’s the same pond I have had paddle board lessons in.

This is it a 6am. A group of ice-men in dipping.

I messaged Chantal last night and asked if she was planning a swim either today or Thursday and she said could meet me this morning.

Big grins excited to get in the water.

Bookers pond, as it’s located known due to its location next to Bookers Cash and Carry in Irvine, is actually Shewalton Water. It’s been set out with 4 buoys in a rectangle to distance triathlon swimmers.

We got changed here!

We set off for the first buoy and I get a wave of concern wash over me. What if I couldn’t swim that far, what if I held her up, what if I was knackered half way round and couldn’t get back….. I voiced my concerns…. As I do!

Chantal said that we could cut across the pond half way instead if I was tired, or we could turn round and swim back obviously… as soon as she said that I knew I’d be disappointed if we didn’t swim the whole way. With that in mind… off we went.

In true Julie fashion, I felt the fear, did the full lap anyway and loved every single minute of it.

I cannot tell you how beautiful it was. The sun a huge low ball in the sky, in between two windmills. The sunshine made everything seem that bit more magical.

I have no photos of the swim as I couldn’t get the phone to work and it did end up with water in the wee “waterproof” bag. 🥴 the few photos I did manage to take were awful 😆

I felt very comfortable as we swam. No fear, no panic, only a deeply relaxing exercise. I say this a lot these days but it really was out of this world. I never used to say that in my old life unless we were in the Maldives or Cuba, somewhere exotic. I love that I can find the beauty in the everyday things.

When we finished our 750m we got out and stripped wetsuits to the waist (swimsuits underneath, don’t panic!) and got back in for a cool down. The pond is a lovely 18/19°C which is much warmer than the sea. We were fully wetsuited up as we knew the swim would take over half an hour and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I’m reliving the moment looking through all of the photos I managed to get at the end.

What a wonderful way to start the day.

I got ready for work at the side of the pond. (Should say I’d had my shower the night before and hoped that would do me!) and was at work for 7.40am. Can’t wait until I can do that again soon.

It was really hot again today. The office up at 27°C but I’d left the pop top up in Abbie the Campervan so she was much cooler when I left work tonight. Only 33° versus last nights’ 48°!! Will do that again tomorrow.

So in other very exciting news…. The hookers are on the move tonight and we are going down to Portencross for our crochet session!!! I am so excited that I get to back to the beach, and get a lift as Evelyn has kindly offered to drive. Sharing my happy place with the hookers!

Hookers on tour, here we come!! Pics tmro!

Stay safe everyone 🏊🏼‍♀️☀️🏊🏼‍♀️

Day 1158 start and end the day with gratitude! 💙💜♥️

I’m starting the day with gratitude today. It’s another beautiful morning though there is a cool breeze. I’m sitting outside in the garden with jammies on, having my first decaf coffee of the day.

I’m drinking out my lovely Slothy Julie mug and feeling grateful for all the lovely gifts I got for my 50th birthday, this being one from the lovely crochet hookers!

It’s just beautiful out here (could lose the breeze but let’s stick to the gratitude!)

There are no dogs at my feet…. There is no one in our house but me. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is off out walking them this morning. I have really enjoyed our dog jogs but I am equally happy for the morning off to just sit here and just be.

I shared something on my FB page this morning which really struck a chord with me. (give Charlotte Freeman – Momentary Happiness a follow!)

I was the Queen of people pleasers! I went out of my way to make “YOU” happy…. Whoever you were, regardless of how you treated me, if I could make you happier then somehow my life would be at peace. Oh how wrong could I have been. This is what finally broke me…. Tying myself up in knots to please everyone else buy myself.

My head literally screams at me now when I agree to something I don’t want to do. It creates a whirlwind of emotion and angst (oooh what a word before 8am!) I don’t get a minutes peace from it until I say NO.

I do think that it could be perceived as selfish these days, and I get that, but I have to work very hard at preserving my mental health. I have learned over these last 4 and a half years, that I need to listen to myself now. I need to put myself first and do what is best for me.

As awful as that might sound to the person still stuck in the people pleasing loop…. I can honestly say this is one of the things I am most proud of.

Despite everything I have been through, I’m so grateful that I have been given time to learn this lesson. They say that true learning comes from adversity.

So back to today… it’s been beautifully sunny today though it was forecast to be cloudy. Sat here in the back garden at 6pm and it’s windy so cooler than it should be.

The little gift shop was lovely as usual. Always get to chat to so many lovely people. I was lucky enough to get a buttered cinnamon scone from Lindsay that works there through the week and Norma, who works in Harmony next door for me a packet of crisps!! So kind of them both. I had my usual salad for lunch. I’ve been living on salad this week. It’s been great! Long may it continue.

It’s nice to be sitting back outside where I started the day, although this time surrounded by Border Collies 🐶🐶🐶

The dogs have all just made a bee-line for the front door which means that the Scottish Dog Behaviourist just got home from his first day back at work!

I’m gonna sit just right here for a while.

Stay safe everyone ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

Day 1130 Reykjavik Café Röst, Omnom Chocolate shop and The Sky Lagoon!

Oh wow we have had an amazing day. A day that dreams are made of.

As we sat over dinner in the Sky Lagoon, we remarked how this holiday is the kind of thing that happens to other people.

It really has been out of this world. I would kill for another one day but hey, it’s not to be and we are home tomorrow morning. 🇮🇸✈️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

As I’ve done the past few days, I’ll post a few photos and then this will be a total write up in itself over the next few days or weeks.

We had an actual lie in this morning. I did wake at 5.30 but finally fell back asleep and didn’t wake until 8.30am.

There is so much of Iceland still to see but we have run out of time. We could have spent the day visiting the famous Golden Circle but neither of us had that length of drive left in us. We realised that yesterday’s trip was the equivalent of taking a day trip up to Ullapool and back home in one day, with stops along the way! It was a huge drive!!

So we decided to have another reccy in Reykjavík this morning and managed another 17k steps. (It doesn’t get any easier to spell regardless of how many times I type it!!!)

Our favourite Reykjavik eaterie where breakfast cost us £55. 😆 it was exquisite so you really can’t get too bent out of shape!

Sage and Maple latte….

Serrano ham and cheese platter for me and Craig had a smoked lamb sandwich. I mean the food really is as amazing as it looks.

Craig found a doggy in his favourite chocolate shop, Omnom.

So by this time we are stuffed. I should say I managed almost a 23 hour fast as I didn’t eat after our huge lunch yesterday as I was so full.

I actually love this next photo of me. It’s not often I see pure joy in a photo of myself. This is it.

We were booked into the Sky Lagoon this afternoon for 3.30pm. I will tell you all about it when I have more time. We booked the date night package which gave us use of the geothermal heated lagoon and a 7 step spa programme.

It was OUT OF THIS WORLD. We both feel so lucky to have been able to do that today. It’s definitely a day that we will never forget.

2 alcohol free beers as Craig was driving!

Followed by the Sky Platter for dinner. This plate was close to £30! Again… just exquisite food and perfect amount.

I can’t find the words to say how amazing this holiday has been. Everything has gone just perfectly. No stress, no drama, no pressure. It doesn’t feel like we have only been away for 3 days… we’ve done so much.

I haven’t even considered taking antidepressants…. Lots of food for thought when I get home.

I will miss these crisp, pure white bed sheets without dog hair. 😆

It will be good to get puppy cuddles though!

Stay safe everyone 🇮🇸✈️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Day 1114 still not feeling great but lots of sunshine today! ☀️☀️

I slept really well last night. My evening spent curled up on the couch in a Christmas onesie and a blanket did the trick.

I got up for the loo at 1.30 (which is much more of an effort now that we are upstairs 🙄😆) and woke Craig too but managed to fall back asleep until just before 6am.

I felt a lot better this morning. No headache and no sluggishness which was good.

It was meant to be frosty this morning but it’s not so I’m really grateful not to have to scrape the van!

I even went outside with the dogs and took photos of the forest flame. It’s so beautiful!

It was nice to catch it in the sunrise light.

Those colours are just stunning!

I gradually felt worse as the day went on and had a lovely half hour lunch in Abbie the camper van at 1pm.

It’s always hard to leave the van as it feels like I’m on holiday every although I’m just sitting outside work! It’s super toasty inside with the sun streaming in the windows. Still not warm enough to sit outside though.

I’m still feeling lightheaded and dizzy with sore head and sore eyes.

I’ve realised though that most of us at work have similar symptoms though so it’s not just me and might be a thing….

I’ve cancelled crochet for tonight and will coorie up again. As snug as a bug in a rug… as Gran would say!

Don’t panic though. I still have my appetite. 🙄😆

I am actually sitting out in the back garden writing this. My eyes only half open 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 and I got big cuddles from Freya!

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist says I can sleep in the spare room. 😆 I told him he can 😂

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️