Day 1475 5.45 run club and the wind thought it would blow away some of the lovely heat!

I woke just after 5am and lay looking out our non curtained windows, at the trees outside. It doesn’t look sunny but it is a lovely chilled way to start the morning.

Up at 5.30 and straight into my running gear as 4 of us were meeting for run club!

Here we are “in action” but stopped for photos as there was no multi tasking possible 😂

There were 4 of us, Caryn, Elly and Lynsey and I. We ran for 34 minutes and I only stopped a couple of times just to catch a quick breath, before starting again. I’m really proud of the way that I’m running and that I’m enjoying it.

I’m so grateful to have such a lovely group of girls to run with a different times.

I ran in the house and straight into the shower. 😂

When I went to feed the dogs I realised that our Butternut Box dog food hadn’t been delivered. I felt so bad that I hadn’t realised it never arrived last night and they didn’t get fed! Worst dog mum! As soon I was ready I headed down to the co-op for it opening at 7am!

So much all before 7.15am. 😆

Work was busy again and passed pretty fast… oh forgot I didn’t get Kinesiology last night as the lady got held up. Hence the reason I forgot about the dog food! I managed to get in to the pub to meet the Crochet Hookers instead.

Back to today…. Ellison and I sat outside at lunch time and there was a warmth to the sun. It’s so lovely to see the blue sky. The wind has picked up now and it’s blawin’ a hoolie outside. Blowing all the warm air away!

In other news the village is being used for some more filming tonight for the drama about the Lockerbie disaster.

We currently have film crews out in the street again and they’ll be here until 11pm. A nice wee bit of excitement for the evening.

Bertie Beetle goes back into the garage again tomorrow…. Another creak from one of the top mounts. The garage say it’s the poor quality parts supplied by the warranty people. The warranty people are questioning the repair.

Me 😬 right smack bang in the middle.

It’s all good though, I’m handling it.

Oh and finally. I’ve achieved 500 fasts!! I got a badge.

We just had a chat about how much I’ve changed…..no drinking, very little caffeine, fasting every day and now eating veggie and vegan. If you’d told me that 5 years ago plus, I’d have laughed in your face.

Who actually am I these days?!?!?

Turns out I kinda like this weird, random version of myself.

For now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1401 who’d a thunk it and a roundup of stats!

On day 1359 I put out my blog as usual… the next day I called it day 1400 and only a few people noticed… I had NO idea why I had just jumped 40 days. Thanks to clever Rachel two doors down for making me realise I wasn’t crazy… on the 24 hour clock 1400hours comes straight after 1359!! Duh…. 🙄 😂

I usually do a stats roundup on the significant days of the blog. There was way too much to talk about yesterday. I still can’t get my head around the fact that I have written this for almost every single one of these 1401 days… give or take.

It helps my head so much.

It challenges my head on the days I can’t talk about something that’s really bothering me.

But most of all, it’s a blessing to be able to think through my day and make sense of it.

I’m feeling so much calmer after Kinesiology last week. We have taken the sting out of the urgency for change. I am back in alignment for now.

I have a great life. I have a lovely husband and 4 lovely dogs. We have a lovely house and live in a lovely village and I have the luxury of only working 4 days a week. I used to dream of that kind of freedom.

I used to dream of the job I would have and now I have it.

There are days when all of that implodes on me and creates so much stress that I just want to run and hide.

I expect FAR too much of myself and yet I’m proud of that as that is what makes me, me.

I have done all of this with the help of counselling and Kinesiology and the support of everyone around me.

And most of all because I refuse to give into it.

1,871 days without alcohol
1,271 days without anti depressants although always consider them when it gets bad
467 on HRT, not really sure what this has done for me but hey, I’ll keep on.
413 fasting, my newest fad ( I say that and I recognise I’m pretty committed when I settle on something 😂)

So why have I learned in the last 100 days… hmmmm I’ve had some tough days but still nothing like I experienced before. I think there’s always the fear that I will head back down there. Maybe I’m really not a fan of winter.

I’m not missing the van at all, that surprises me but also helps me to know I made the right decision selling her. I’m super excited to explore again in 2024 and I’m so looking forward to some sunshine.

I will miss campsites randomly…. There’s a lovely camaraderie between campers. I will miss that, just not enough to keep running a van. Sure I can get a wee tent if I miss it too much. 😂

I’m feeling really good today. Positive about the future. Grateful for everything that I have and grateful to finally be calm and not want to head for the hills.

I want to explore the whole world and experience the cultures everywhere. I know that I will get to do this and will enjoy every minute of it… it just doesn’t have to happen tomorrow.

So back to today… a run with Calaidh this morning in my new trainers. DRY FEET!!! Yay. Calaidh approves.

When I got home we went to Mocha Jak’s for brunch.

I had the Honey, Pesto & Walnut Avocado Stack which is new! It was really lovely.

Back home and Craig watched the football while I had a wee rest and watched some episodes of Manifest on the iPad, lying on the bed.

I then took Freya out a walk. She’s chuffed with the trainers too.

I did some training with her, she’s a good girl.

It’s been a lovely sunny day. It started to rain when I walked Freya but it’s the first day I’ve been out with a sweatshirt and a bodywarmer and not felt frozen. ☀️

So yeah, 1.401 days…. Bring it on the rest.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1308 a very dark and rainy afternoon!

It was SO dark this afternoon… torrential rain when I left work. I really had to concentrate on driving home. There was flooding everywhere.

The photo doesn’t do it justice… it looks brighter than it actually was. It was so gloomy!

On the plus side there was a lot of cake today. I fasted for 20 hours and then had a lovely lentil soup for lunch followed by CAKE. I’d taken the remnants of the Macmillan Tea into work. Then ate too much of it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 I binned what was left as it was starting to turn and I’d have still kept eating it. 😂

Poor Khaleesi and Bhru were very unhappy with last nights fireworks… I know friends’ dogs were the same.

They were panting for hours. It’s so sad to watch. We wrapped Khaleesi in a blanket to try to calm her down. Bhru just hid down beside a seat.

I’m also GUTTED to see how beautiful the Aurora was at Kilbirnie Loch last night…. This is where I went and got spooked and couldn’t stay. This photo was taken by FrankBoyd Photography . He got such an amazing shot. I’m so impressed. It’s exactly what I wanted to see!!

Well done to Frank for capturing it so well. Please take a look at his photos on FB.

So yeah, not much else to report. I’ve had dinner and back on to fasting already. It’s the only way I can stop myself eating. 😂

My head is still pretty good just now. Fairly organised at work…. Trying not to overreact when things don’t go the way that I hoped. I am pretty calm.

Long may that continue.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1304 I told you I’d be sensible 😘

I couldn’t do the fast today.

I have no idea what was wrong but I knew by about 11am, that I wouldn’t manage any prolonged fast today.

I regularly manage 16-19 hour fasts on a daily basis. I love the feeling of being hungry and knowing that I’m not gorging myself on food unnecessarily. I am eating less in between meals now as I am fuller for longer.

I woke at 5.49am this morning and felt instantly hungry. That’s unheard of.

I packed plenty water, peppermint tea bags and lemon and ginger tea bags and set off confidently into my day. My head was in a good place… I’d done lots of research, I knew what to expect and I was ready.

I don’t know what changed but today clearly wasn’t the right day. I felt really bad by the back of 11. I was dizzy, lightheaded and shaky. It ended up being 1pm when I finally got the chance to eat and I felt an instant relief.

Did my mind talk me out of it? Maybe…. I had no set target in mind. I wanted to try 4 days but was going to take it one day at a time and none of that was possible.

I had to order lunch from work and didn’t even enjoy what I ate.

I actually think it was the wrong time of the month for me. I’m mid way through the Progesterone which usually means the week of the month where I’m more likely to feast than fast.

I was upset, there were tears in my eyes but I just didn’t feel right. So I did the right thing.

It was a cold and frosty morning today.

Work was really busy again. I’ve been in early every day this week and still not getting through everything I need to do…. But I’ve really enjoyed the challenge this week. We had a great meeting last week and have made some changes and there’s a right good buzz about the place and I love it! I’m happy. (Check me!)

The sunset was brief but stunning this evening. I stopped in a layby on the way home from work.

The photos don’t actually do it justice.

I only live about 5 minutes drive from here and it was already gone by the time I got home.

It made it a lovely journey home.

Got my toes painted a lovely autumnal auburn red tonight at Viv’s Nails and Beauty ….not that anyone will be seeing my feet for at least another 5 months! 😂

Soooo tired tonight. Looking forward to a weekend without too much planned except a McMillan coffee afternoon on Sunday. that would have been interesting on an fast. 😂😂

Stay safe everyone 🍁🍂🍁

Day 1303 1st November 2023 already?!? 😂

I actually drove home through a perfect autumn storm.

All the trees have really turned in the last few days. The roads home were avenues of red, orange and yellow. ♥️🧡💛

It’s been an awful weather day today. It’s rained so much and the wind picked up as the day went on. Bertie Beetle was slapped with orange, red and yellow leaves all the way home. It was raining and swirling autumnal leaves. 🍁 🍂🍁🍂🍁

It was really dramatic. The sky was dark navy blue, heavy with rain but there was light that highlighted the colours of the leaves… jeez who even am I these days?!? I have no photos so I have to be descriptive!

I can’t believe it’s November already…. Where has the year gone?!?

I’ve been awake since 4.52am and went into work early as I still have so much to do. I got a fair chunk of it started today which is something. It was a another blast of a day that disappeared in a heartbeat.

So some of the many dogs that we seem to have, seem to be moulting again… Craig’s just brushed Freya….

How can she even have that much extra hair?! I don’t remember two winter moults before but hey… they seem to come as a surprise to me every time they start moulting. 😂

So…. I’ve made a lovely dinner and scoffed it all up and am seriously thinking of trying an extended fast this weekend…. I’m putting it out here and I may not manage it. I feel super positive about it. I’ve read up on it, watched YouTube videos and am well aware of what to expect…. And I’m still going to try it.

Today I was asked why….. I’m not sure I have any idea, really. I just want to. It feels right. I usually want to shove everything in my mouth 24 hours a day. Time limiting it means that I can take control of my calorie intake. I have a lot of willpower when I put my mind to something. I don’t give in easily.

So who knows what this might bring. I might say all of this and cave at lunchtime tomorrow.

Please don’t worry about me as this is very good for your body. My body can cope, it knows how to manage this. Our bodies were built for periods of famine and feast..

It’s just my head that will hurt. It’s the brain that tries to tell you otherwise.

I promise if it gets too much I will stop.

I have a very quiet weekend planned with a list of things that I can catch up with in the house so I’m not putting myself through too much.

One day at a time and just see how it goes.

Stay safe everyone 🍁🍂🍁

Day 1259 was going to be a quickie until I kept rambling 😂

It’s 8.23pm and it’s not often but I have very little to say.

I’ve had so much going on these last few days (most of it in my mind!!) that it’s quite nice not to have too many words swirling round in my head.

I haven’t felt great today but I’ve been much better this evening. Much calmer.

Work was good but actually just a blur, it went so fast! I took Khaleesi in with me again.

I only have 6 working days before I finish up for a full week off and I have SO much to do. Some of it just might have to wait. (Thousands of pounds worth of therapy to allow me to believe that!)

I had to drive to Bearsden after dinner tonight to pick up Leesi’s next prescription. The poor pup needs meds to control her pain. It’s so sad.

I’ve had some really icky feelings this last week or so. All brought on by fighting the insurance… I know that was the crux of it…. But…… all negotiated without any of my previous coping mechanisms that I used to use to to get me through the tough times. No wine, no mountains of Cadbury’s chocolate buttons. Just have to sit there and feel it all.

I’m really pleased that I’ve lost a bit more weight this week too.

At my worst when I was off sick I went up to 14 stone.

I’m down to 12 stone 2 lbs today for the first time in about 5 years. I had another lovely salad for lunch. im still really enjoying the fasting.

Anyway, I’m saying an awful lot for having nothing to say!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1194 a lovely wee morning shopping, afternoon nap and a hen party in the pub!

I was awake early today as the Scottish Dog Behaviourist had his usual early morning alarm. I thought I’d get up and at it rather than wasting hours on my phone.

Straight out with hoddit, doddit and ploddit for our early morning dog jog! Freya was just not feeling it today. She might be coming in to season maybe?

Everything is so green after the amount of rain we’ve been having. It was such a dry June that I really feel July is making up for it. The rain today is like a tropical storm! (Ok I know that Mrs Scottish person has no real concept of a tropical storm, it’s just heavy rain! 😂)

I pass this every dog walk and think this would make a great gang hut.

Gang hut?!?!? That makes me smile as I don’t know that I ever had a gang hut when I was wee and yet I think it would be great now?!? For my “gang”?!? Basically somewhere cool to sit and hide is more likely these days.

I also had a wee thistle photography session again this morning too. I don’t know how they came out until I go to look at them right now 😂

Hmmmm much the same as every other day…. One day I’ll get the thistle photo that will launch my photography career 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 today was not that day!

Spotted this wee guy in the field!

There’s a problem with this next photo. There’s a sheep and a lamb in the primary school playing fields.

Quick hop in the shower and then off up to Braehead shopping centre for a strapless bra for the hen do tonight. (as a wee aside it turns out I’m not wearing the dress that needs one!!)

I had a lovely wee shopping trip to myself.

The cropped cargos were nice but not what I was really looking for.

I really liked these full length cargos. I ordered them for home delivery as they didn’t have the regular length in stock. The ones in the photo are short.

I loved this linen vest top but it just didn’t look right on. Too square at the top and straight up and down. I got the black cargos but I don’t think I need both them and the grey ones. Might take the black ones back.

This wee playsuit actually looks really nice in the photo but it was super uncomfortable and clung to all the wrong spots.

Linen top was lovely but did nothing for me.

Black T-shirt was lovely but again… I’m not a massive fan of a high neck.

Got this next one. The v neck felt better on.

And this next one… I never saw that coming?!? Needless to say…. I didn’t buy that!

I have to say that I’m feeling really good about my weight loss. I’m not trying hard, I’m not making a huge effort. I’m just fasting for 16-20 hours every day and it feels like I have taken back control. I love the food that I’m eating in between. I appreciate it, I savour it and I feel very grateful for it. I know that sounds daft but you know I say it how it is.

I find my main meals are much healthier than before because I want it to be tasty and not just carbohydrates, which taste of nothing. I still have cakes, milky coffees and crisps, I just don’t eat them all day.

So I’m gonna put this out there as I’m proud of where I’ve got to…. I tried on bikinis today….

More than anything, look at the difference in my face because actually that’s all that matters.

The majority of us hate our bodies. I am learning to be very appreciative of what I have. It’s a different story without the bikini top on but let’s deal with one thing at a time and don’t worry there will NEVER be photos of that!!!

So yeah tonight we have Elly’s Hen next door on the village pub. Since I don’t go out much, I am very lucky it’s just next door. It’s been TORRENTIAL rain and tonight it a tropical theme!!

It’s dried up now and long may that continue.

Here are Claire and I ready for the hen!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1135 a little warmth to the sun today! ☀️

I’m not going to get a chance to tell you about the second half of the trip tonight as I have got the Crochet Hookers at 6.30pm.

It’s a while since we’ve all been together and in that time sadly one has lost their dad, one lost their mother in law, one’s been in Spain and I’ve been in Iceland so I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on!

Another great sleep last night that saw me dead to the world. I woke at 5am when the Scottish Dog Behaviourist set his alarm (and didn’t get up!!!) 🙄 and couldn’t get back to sleep for thinking about work stuff.

I was STARVING yesterday.

I’ve been fasting since 20th December and I’ve done it every day, even on holiday. I am very rarely hungry. The odd grumble but yesterday was hunger on a ravenous level. I had to cave at 14 hours (which is still excellent!) but I could quite easily have eaten my own leg!!! Nothing filled me up… and trust me, I ate loads. I ate anything and everything I could find.

I had a huge bag of crisps all to myself as just one of the snacks. I finally stemmed the craving hunger about 7pm. Don’t know what that was all about.

Thankfully I’m back to normal today.

So nothing much else to report. I still haven’t taken the meds the doctor prescribed. I don’t feel I need them. I’m definitely happier on holiday than I am in the day to day routine of working but hey, I’m sure I’m not the only one…. The main thing is I’m not crying at work which is always a bonus. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

The sun was quite warm today. Definitely not hot but it was lovey not to be freezing. Ellison and I sat out at lunch again too!

This next one made me laugh a little bit too hard!!

Dinner is just about ready. Salt and pepper chicken crown with potatoes and broccoli . Proper food! We’ve done good this week eating fresh food for a change. (Except yesterday when my body said it wasn’t enough!!)

Long may that continue!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️