Day 1459 back to auld claes and porridge 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

So Bertie Beetle finally got recovered at about 6.20pm last night (which was a bit earlier than I thought!)

The car and I got dropped at the garage and I had to phone our neighbour to come and get me. Poor guy had been driving about for us for hours!!

Wee sad pic of me in the rain walking to meet him…. Still dragging my suitcase.

So the car needs a new passenger side spring and a top mount which is pretty much what I suspected.

Thankfully I seem to have done everything properly this time and the recovery was done under warranty and the parts will be covered under warranty! Check me….

I literally sat on the couch in the dark last night and cuddled the puppers. I didn’t even have the notion to watch tv. Yesterday was a real lesson in waiting…. Waiting for a taxi, waiting for a plane, waiting for Craig then waiting for recovery. I was patient most of the day. 😂

My lovely bush is in full bloom now.

Work was good, it was sunny all day and Ellison and I actually sat outside for lunch. Nothing like Rome heat but compared to Scottish 2024 so far, it was up there as one of the nicest weather days.

Craig made homemade fresh tomato soup for dinner which was lovely.

Calaidh and I then went out for a walk with Claire… this is Calaidh waiting for her, next to the purple bin!!

We had a lovely walk though it was super cold at times!!

There’s a lovely new bench in Spiers Old School Grounds. It says TAKE SOME BREATHING SPACE.

It has the following sign on it.

This is the view from the bench…. It’s lovely.

What a lovely thought. I hope that people get some use out of it.

We had a lovely walk and a grata catch ip.

I’ve got so many videos from Rome that I need to sort through but that won’t be today…. Today’s about trying to get back into some routine after a whirlwind of a week.

Also the Gateside Inn has a new sign since the filming of the Lockerbie drama at the start of March. It looks lovely! I just spotted it!

So that’s all from me.

Back to auld claes and porridge as we say in Scotland. 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1449 an amazing Saturday with a powerful message ♥️

I have a had a lovely day…. So far…. It’s only 5pm.

It’s been full of a little bit of everything. Exercise, laughter, friendship, sadness, love and of course dog walks and housework.

Before I even start I feet truly blessed to have had such a lovely day…. It’s ok, I hear myself 😂 today has been a normal Saturday but I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it, in the present moment.

It started at 6.20am…. The alarm went off after the perfect sleep. It was the hardest thing ever to get out of bed but I did as I’d arranged to go running with Rachel two doors down, her sister Lynsey and Emma.

We ran from Coldstream Mill.

We run just over 3 miles. I was so chuffed I managed to keep up until the very end when I felt a wee bit sick. 🤢

It’s the calm before the storm.

Spotted these wee lambs, obviously freshly born. 🐑

There’s lots of flood water after yesterday’s rain.

I was very red… but really proud of myself!

I drove Rachel home and we went out to walk Nacho and Calaidh.

Then I was straight back out with Bhruic and Freya!

The daffodils are out in full bloom!

More flooding…

Back home to pick up Khaleesi, it’s her turn!

She is so excited when she’s on a walk!

Love this nature with the man made…

All of this before 10am!!

When I got back home, I tackled the housework. The dogs are on the cusp of moulting session again so there’s a whole lot of hair to be hoovered up. I emptied the hoover 4 times. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s been great to get the house all clean…. Woe betide any man or puppy that might mess it up 😆😘

Claire came in for a cuppa over lunch time and it was great to catch up.

I did more cleaning and decided to make some lunch. I had fasted for 21 hours without even realising.

I made Kimchi noodle soup with enoki mushrooms, silken tofu, sesame gochugaru topping and fresh coriander.

It was soooooo good!!

I then sent a voice note to my lovely friend who received the inoperable cancer diagnosis over Christmas. If you remember I’ve never met her but she’s been a friend on FB for over 5 years now. She sent me so many lovely cards, books and gifts when I was off sick and struggling with depression. She showed me a light when all I could see was darkness.

We’ve been messaging with voice notes as it’s easier for her. I told her it was very windy today as Storm Kathleen is blowing across Scotland.

She sent me a message back to say she is very weak now and her voice is failing.

She said that she wished this hadn’t happened to her so she could have met me. She thanked me for being me, for every single thing that I am. She asked me to please believe in myself because she believed in me and, if I value her opinion, then I must know that she’s right. She said I am simply the absolute best of every good thing in this world and she told me that she loved me so much.

Wow. 🥰😢

Even in her darkest moments, she has the strength to brighten other people’s lives.

I can’t tell you what this lady has done for me. She showed me that there was a way out of the depression. She showed her love for a stranger because she saw something in me that may have mirrored her own life. She’s been such an inspiration and I truly hope that I can be the same for someone else some day. I will never forget her message today and I can never repay her, I can only pay it forward.

If that’s not a reason to live life to the full then I don’t know what is.

I have her husband’s phone number now so that I can keep in touch with him.

So yeah I’m gonna end it here tonight, I’m so full of gratitude and love and a few tears but I think that’s perfectly understandable.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1443 Easter Sunday 2024 and finally some warm sunshine!

Our clocks went back last night. This made me laugh!

I have to say I’ve been neither up nor down about it. It hasn’t bothered me as much as it used to do when I hated my job. I’m looking forward to the very light evening!

Sunshine has been a long time coming. We are finally outside in the garden for the very first time this year. Out of the breeze it feels hot. It’s only 12°C but hey that’s pretty good for us!

Khaleesi is loving the sunshine! About time too, she says.

It’s so lovely to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin after so long. The last time I sat out in the sun was the start of October in Turkey with Gayle. I still remember the last embers of the sun, knowing it would be a while before we felt it again. I was pre-sad to leave!!

Yesterday was lovely but wrap up lovely. Today is sun-trap Sunday in the back garden. I say that as it clouds over, the wind picks up and it goes cool. Did I speak too soon?!?!

I’ve not stopped all day. I’ve weeded and picked up branches and leaves, I’ve swept the decking, I’ve washed all of the dog blankets and now must rinse the washing machine before anything else goes through it. It’s HAIRY!!

It’s a proper spring day. The birds have been chirping all day. There was one in particular this morning, that chirped the introduction to the Game of Thrones theme tune. I’ve been singing that all day! 😂

Since I said it was hot it’s been cloudy and cool but I’m still sitting outside.

I feel so at peace in the fresh air. Sundays aren’t always my best day and yet this one has been calm.

I took Calaidh for a walk up the hill and got her to pose next to some daffodils. She’s a good girl…

She’s so pretty!

She’s really thinking let’s get this over with!! We got up to the field at the top of the hill and I freaked as there were two deer 🦌 in the middle of it. I called her and got her on lead but we were up wind of them so she couldn’t smell them thankfully! they didn’t seem that bothered about her either.

She did chase this poor farm cat up a tree on the way home though! Poor wee thing was hanging on for deal like until I got Calaidh on the lead.

I only got a photo as I’m ready for anything when I’m out walking 😂😂😂

So that was the weekend. It’s 5.35pm and I’m sitting outside again. The breeze has picked up and is blowing stuff all over the decking I just swept!

It feels good to have done all that today.

Hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend and for those of you who get Bank Holiday Monday, enjoy your lie in. I will be mostly trying to appreciate the empty roads in the morning!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1442 dog walks, writing and a trip to Largs! ☀️☀️☀️

That’s two days in a row the forecast has said one thing and the weather has done the opposite. I’m not complaining. I’m sitting here right now….

I have my jacket off and even had my jumper off earlier. The sun has been shinging almost all day. It’s been cold but it’s beautiful now. I have fur lined boots and fleecy leggings on and I am pretty cosy.

I’ve found a new path and a new bench today. I’m in Largs but I parked at the Marina and walked from the Largs Pencil, into Largs. People have told me to do that a lot, I finally have!

The Pencil is a memorial to the Battle of Largs in 1263, between the Scots and the Norwegian Vikings.

It’s so lovely to see the sun and in between breeze gusts, feel the warmth of it. It’s been away for a LONG time! I am so ready for Spring and Summer.

I met up with Craig’s sister Lisa and my nephew and we played on the 2p machines for a wee while until I won a dolphin keyring! It’s been ages since I did that!! So serious!!

But the sun was calling. I’m like a caged lion being inside when the sun is out. I’ve also fasted for 19 hours so I’m ready for a cuppa. I sat outside in Indigo Eats Largs. It was a beautiful wee sun trap albeit, by the side of the road, it felt very European!

I haven’t washed my hair since Wednesday morning!

I could have sat there all day but the sea was calling. I walked up to the top of the promenade, turned back round and walked all the way back down to the Largs Marina where I’ve parked. I can’t bring myself to leave, it’s just so beautiful. I’m now perched on some rocks at the jetty!

Sunshine and blue sky is very good for the soul. 💙☀️💙☀️

Here are some more photos from the walk.

They are rebuilding the harbour wall up the top of the promenade. It looks like they are extending it into the sea a bit too.

Looking back down to Largs.

CalMac’s Loch Riddon seemed to stop sailing at 4pm.

My blogger friend The Windsor Waffle, thinks railings are my new thing… she might be right. It’s the shadows too!

My new favourite bench with a lovely dedication on it.

I’ve had a lovely day. I didn’t sleep that well, I tossed and turned like a tossey turney thing. If you ask Fitbit it says it was much better than it felt!

I got up at 7.30…. I’m still trying the no phone before natural sunlight but it’s hard. 😂

I took Calaidh and Bhruic for a run.

Then back to get Freya and take her up the hill. I left my phone to charge as it didn’t charge overnight.

I then really randomly sat down at my laptop and started to write…. I feel like I have a book in me. I say that and squirm because my head says not to be so ridiculous and my heart trusts that it might help some people. I wrote for about 3 hours just jotting things down.

Will see how it goes. I may never mention it again…. I feel drawn to help people but I’m not sure gallivanting around the world, with anxiety, is the best kind of business plan. 😂

On the way back from Largs I stopped at he Hailey Brae roadside view point. Wow.

The gorse bush is almost in full bloom with the Isle of Arran on the horizon.

Largs is just down in the foreground here.

I had the lookout to myself. It was so peaceful.

I love the calm. I love the peace. I love the sun. I love the blue sky.

I am very happy.

Stay safe everyone ☀️💙☀️

Day 1441 something nice about that number.. Good Friday 2024

It’s my day off today and I have zero plans for the next 3 days… nada, diddly squat, nowt.

That usually just opens up before me like a big hole in the ground but despite saying I’ve been freaking out, I’m actually looking forward to the relaxation. It’s been a busy few weeks.

We had a lovely meal last night at The Ship in Irvine. Our table was booked for 6pm coz that’s how we roll these days. It’s a lovely place.

Craig had Cullen Skink for starter and I had garlic mushrooms. Both were lovely.

Craig had fish and chips and I had vegetable pie…. In keeping with my random not eating meat thing.. it was really good.

Pinch my sundae and I’ll punch you. Not quite sure how I captured this random shot but it’s a good one… the dessert is mine.

This is a Tunnocks Ice Cream Sundae.

Tunnocks are a famous Scottish biscuit/cake brand and I have to say it tasted like a Tunnocks Teacake and a snowball all rolled into one!

It’s 1.30pm and I’ve been for a run with Rachel, walked Bhru by myself and walked Khaleesi and Freya with Claire… had a cuppa, tidied the house, hoovered, cleaned, put away washing, marvelled at the sunshine, put two new washings on and had a shower. Then I sat down in the silence and have almost fallen asleep.

The silence is lovely. I’ve only 3 dogs and they are fast asleep.

Showcasing my crochet here. 😂

Rachel and I headed out at 7.30am. It’s a beautiful morning. Here we are running!!

It’s such a lovely morning.

It’s all about the puddle reflections this morning. It must have rained heavily overnight.

There is a tiny reflection in this puddle!

This huge puddle shows how much it’s rained.

Love seeing the sun like this.

Bhru enjoying some one on one!

I headed back home and picked up Claire, Khaleesi & Freya!

We went into Spiers old school grounds and this huge tree has fallen over. As we walked towards it, it looked like a new, muddy pond… then I realised the tree was down and the water is the root bed filling up after the rain.

Freya having a wee chat with Khaleesi.

Freya getting cuddles from her Auntie Claire.

More reflections on the way back.

Claire came in for a cuppa and got kisses from Khaleesi!

So the weather went from warm in the lovely sunshine to torrential rain pretty quickly.

My in-laws came down this afternoon with our nephew this afternoon… to deliver Easter eggs!! We had a lovely catch up.

We also had a guy come out to fix our French doors at the back of the house. For over an hour we had 4 adults and a teenager AND 5 dogs all in one room…. So the guy had free rein to come in and out the house.!

So yeah that’s my Friday. Been a good day.

Hope you all have a great weekend. No Easter break for me as we work Monday but I’m looking forward to the next 2 days to chill.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1437 a very wet Monday! ☔️

I sat at work today thinking, jeez what on earth will I write about today?!?

It rained a lot. I was at work. I got my period. The End.

😂😂

There’s so much more to say… of course there is…

I started the day with some gusto. As it was a non hair wash day, I had lots of time to spare so I cleaned the kitchen, put on a washing and loaded the dishwasher.

We are being really lazy not doing this at night. I came down annoyed at the mess. By the time I left for work, all that needed doing was the clean dishes out the dishwasher needed put away.

The messy kitchen monster ran about all over the kitchen today at some point and I came home to do it all again. I have proudly, clearly communicated my desire for things to be left a bit tidier moving forward.

By the time I came home some mild stomach cramps had kicked in and I felt really irritable.

I’m angry at the weather for being so cold, wet and miserable again. Yesterday’s sunshine was so lovely. It really helps my mood. I feel like I am sitting in front of series after series on TV just now, I don’t want to do that but I also can’t not do that just now. I don’t drink, I’m trying to fast, I only do decaf and I’m pretty much veggie/vegan just now so there’s not much enjoyment in life… I need some escapism.

As soon as I write that I realise how dreadful that sounds. I get lots of enjoyment in life… I haven’t stopped this weekend. I have a cheek to think life is dull. I just mean that the day to day life is a bit monotonous at the moment.

My boss made a great point today… it’s still winter, it is still cold, all of that will change with the lighter nights and some sunshine.

I was excited to get my next Planthood food delivery….. which, of course, did not arrive.

Seems I have ordered for a monthly delivery and not weekly… I have virtually nothing to eat in the house but I’m not going back out. I have a real aversion to going out in the evenings these days. Don’t want to watch tv but don’t want to do anything else!!

So I made some cauliflower cheese with plant based spread and tofu. Who actually am I? Why am I doing this? Why can’t I eat meat? Soooo strange. I was angry at Planthood but it’s not their fault I can’t seem to work their app.

So I felt grumpy and sludgy… amazed that is actually a word…. I put my anorak on and took Bhruic and Freya out for a walk in the rain. I knew that would make me feel better!

What a difference the weather makes. Yesterday compared to today!

The pups did a lot of sniffing…. Honestly felt like they stopped at every blade of grass! It’s great mental stimulation for them though.

Very spooky, old tree.

We got a bit damp and soggy but I feel all the better for the fresh air. I’m so glad I did it.

One of the lovely ladies that I used to sea swim with has just published a book. How amazing is that?!

The sad, untimely passing of her husband, lead her to honour his memory by raising awareness and reducing the stigma of those struggling with. Their mental health and addiction.

She started working towards a swim challenge where she swam from Holy Isle to Lamlash on Arran. She completed this on 4th September 2021.

She’s such an inspiration writing a book about it too!

That’s all from me tonight. I’m off to sit with my grumpy assed emotions. 😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1429 1900 days without booze!

I honestly can’t believe that I have gone 5 years and 2.5 months without alcohol.

Look at the stats…. I have not consumed 820,000 alcohol calories. Wow!

Now I’m not naive enough to realise that those of you who are quite happy with your drinking, just won’t get this at all.

Not drinking is still considered a bit weird. Alcohol is used to celebrate EVERY life event, in fact it’s fundamental to every life event.

The world revolves around it. It’s not a holiday until you’ve had a drink at the airport, not a holiday without a cocktails, not a wedding without a toast, not a birthday without a boozy party…. If you don’t drink then you don’t really fit in.

I chose to stop drinking as I didn’t like the person I became when I drank. I felt out of control. My life revolved around it. I couldn’t wait for it to be socially acceptable to have a drink on day off work. I was always ready for the next glass of wine. It would calm me and relax me and take away the fact that I was incredibly unhappy at work. I was a burnt out people pleaser who had no people pleasing left in me.

The only time I was happy was when I had a drink as it numbed it all.

I’d been on anti depressants for years. All the while drinking away…. Managing hangover, shame, regret and trying to please everyone the next day. No one would ever have known how unhappy I was. I was the life and soul of the party.

And then I started to cry and didn’t really stop.

It took me 3 months of being off sick from work, before I decided to do something about it and started Dry January 2019.

In the middle of February I was asked to become admin of the FB group After Dry January and that group of people were fundamental in keeping me going. They made it all ok. I’ve never even met these people.

I’ve only had two slip ups… once when the pubs closed for lockdown and the second when they reopened…. I drank as fast as I always did and felt awful the next day on both occasions.

It’s not for me.

Apart from being socially awkward these days and feeling a bit uncomfortable in my own skin at times…. It’s THE best thing I have ever done. For someone who desperately tried to fit in, I’ve finally chosen to stand out.

I am finally free.

The early mornings are my favourite time. When I feel fresh and bright and ready to take on anything before everyone else gets up.

By the afternoon I’m quite happy with my feet up writing down what is going on in my head.

How my life has changed.

How funny that I’m celebrating 1,900 days on the day that so many people round the world are partying on St Patrick’s Day.

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist did a play on this today.

We got up early this morning and went for a family walk.

It was beautiful sunshine but the sky was so dark in front of us. The power lines add to it…

I had a super productive morning. I’ve done a washing and filled the dishwasher. We’ve been to the garage and filled my tyres with air, hoovered the car, done a quick food shop as I’ve run out of Planthood meals. All of this before 11am. (unfortunately still have a tyre warning light on my dash but that’s for tomorrow!)

I had an early lunch as I was hungry and then had a bath.

I’ve decided to have an early afternoon and chill out and relax. I’m really tired after the excitement and exercise of the last few days. It’s been a great weekend.

My mind is still all over the travel thing and make the most of life every day.

Long may this continue.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1427 walked 11 miles today!

Helen will be so proud of me. I spent the morning walking, walking and walking!!

I had the best sleep. All night until 6.30am.

As usual… facing a weekend with no plans, I’m never quite sure what to do with myself.

I got up after 7 and put a washing on and decided to get out with some of the many dogs, first thing 😂😂

The torrential rain has stopped but left a low lying fog.

It was so peaceful, so still and so calm…. Not a breath and barely a noise apart from birds tweeting.

We’ve all been a bit depressed by the weather recently and yet this morning, it felt really lovely, very misty and mysterious. I had a really lovely walk.

Huge puddles.

Bhru checking out the high burn… it’s flowing fast after all the rain recently.

They went in to play!

I say that and Freya always sits on the bank!

On the way back I played with some reflections in puddles. This one wasn’t the best…

Like the spooky tree reflection.

When I got home I decided to take Calaidh out for a LONG walk.

We went through Spiers School Grounds. It’s beautiful but very wet.

These wee daffies were lovely….

Some of them flattened by the rain.

It really feels like everything is starting to grow now.

How random is this?!?! A road sign in the middle of a field near Kilbirnie Loch? I stood for a while trying to figure out where the road might have been? Hope some of the locals can tell me why this is here?!?

Calaidh thinks she can take on this branch!!

Calaidh is living her best life.

By this time it’s been raining for a while but I’m loving being out in it.

She loves a wee pose does our Cal!!

Here’s the random road sign on the way back… so weird!

Calaidh loves a paddle!

Not sure this does the rain justice…. But it was heavy by the time we headed home.

Someone needed a shower!

It’s the first good wash she’s had in a long time and she is super fluffy now!!

I’ve walked 11.37 miles today and I’m feeling it. I had such a lovely morning though… out in the rain, appreciating the beauty in the mist. It felt very good to be alive.

When Craig came home from work we headed to Mocha Jak’s for a bite of lunch. I had Honey and Walnut avocado stack.

I gave Craig the fried egg but I did have the halloumi. I’ve been almost fully vegan this week, it’s not through choice but I just don’t fancy meat.

I may also have had an oat milk hot chocolate (with cream yup I get the irony!) but I felt it was well deserved after my 11 miles today.

It was really very lovely.

I’ve been home since 3.30 and all of a sudden it’s 5.40?! Time really disappears when I write this blog.

I am really tired but it’s been a great day.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1423 a crazy busy day with dog walk AND cooking 😂

A wonderful, wonderful sleep last night. I never heard Craig come up to bed, never heard a thing all night.

I’m using deep sleeps earplugs from Amazon. Snoring?!? I hear nothing but yeah rumour has it I am….. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😬 oops sorry…. I can’t hear a thing 🎧😂

I woke at 5.15am and snuggled back down for another hour. I felt so refreshed when I got up.

Once I’d had my shower I felt really stiff….. I haven’t walked the length of myself all weekend. Last weekend I walk 35 miles, this weekend less than 10,000 steps. I’m sure I feel more stiff when I exercise less.

I hobbled out to the car.

By the time I got to work I couldn’t walk properly. I couldn’t put any weight on my left leg. When I did I got an excruciating pain and my left gave way. I hobbled into the office. It was so painful.

I sat about for a bit but as sore as it was, I realised the more I walked, the more it eased off. I went for a jog around the car park… as you do at 8.10am. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂. It totally eased it off and I’ve been fine for the rest of the day.

Work was beyond busy today.

Just another manic Monday! A throwback from my 80’s singsong in the car yesterday.

By the time I got lunch I had fasted for 22.5 hours. It was just the fastest day.

When I got home I literally dragged myself out in a dog walk. I know I need to keep moving and exercise more.

It would have been so easy to come in and sit down.

I took Freya and Calaidh and despite the meh weather, we had a good walk. Exercise is good for the soul.

Check Freya with her wee bunch of cut grass in her mouth 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂

If you zoom in she has a mouthful!!!

I got another food delivery, this time from Planthood…. Only because I got a voucher for money off.

I decided to have Crispy Mushroom Shawarma With Garlic Tahini Sauce, Pickled Radish & Fresh Mint In Soft Flatbread. Sounds awfy fancy eh?!?

Here are the ingredients.

It’s so easily packaged and easy to make. It took less than 20 minutes.

This is what it turned out like and I can honestly say it was out of this world.

I wrapped it and it tasted so good and I feel really full after it.

I’ve had at least 4 of my 5 a day today and that feels good.

It’s been a good day. life is for living…. Let’s do it!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1406 a lovely Friday day off 🌧️ ❄️ ☀️

I’ve had a lovely wee day to myself.

The best sleep again…. It was just the best, from 10 through to 7am. Not a blink in the night.

I felt really refreshed and ready to start my dog walk Friday.

First up a dog jog with Bhru in the rain. Bless her wee face.

Next up Calaidh and Freya. It wasn’t pouring with rain this time. We walked mostly but we did jog for a bit.

They had a good run about in the field.

They love my new dry trainers.

I saw my first daffodil.

The Khaleesi’s turn.

Spooky trees through a Mali’s ears. ♥️

We saw this lovely rainbow.

It was only minutes before we were hammered with hailstones. Poor Khaleesi was petrified.

We got back home and dried off… we were drenched.

I got ready and headed up to Asda for a food shop. Not been to Asda in years. I got lots of veggies and vegan food. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m just not into meat just now at all.

I came home, put the shopping away and made two pots of lentil soup. One with bacon and one without. Check me.

I know fine well I will probably end up eating the one with meat too!

The sun came out and I spent a half hour outside with the dogs… it was warm in the sunshine.

I made little videos of them. I shouted one of them to come while the other 3 stood still. Calaidh was the only one that broke ranks when she shouldn’t have but only because it’s all about the ball for her. 🎾

Oh I also decided to book one of the Waverley cruises. I’d been looking at a 3 day cruise…

I wanted to do the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday but I can’t get accommodation in Kyle of Lochalsh AT all.

So that meant I could only do the Monday. So it’s all booked. Gonna be a VERY long day from 7am to 10.45pm… and that’s without the drive to and from the Glasgow Science Centre! That said… I’m soooo looking forward to it. I should start to list all the things I have planned this year to remind me of how many exciting things I am doing.

So it’s been a good day, I’ve enjoyed myself. I’m calm and relaxed and looking forward to my wee dolphin 🐬 trip tomorrow. The forecast is very cold but sunny.

Currently typing this with a Bhruic on my knee….

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1401 who’d a thunk it and a roundup of stats!

On day 1359 I put out my blog as usual… the next day I called it day 1400 and only a few people noticed… I had NO idea why I had just jumped 40 days. Thanks to clever Rachel two doors down for making me realise I wasn’t crazy… on the 24 hour clock 1400hours comes straight after 1359!! Duh…. 🙄 😂

I usually do a stats roundup on the significant days of the blog. There was way too much to talk about yesterday. I still can’t get my head around the fact that I have written this for almost every single one of these 1401 days… give or take.

It helps my head so much.

It challenges my head on the days I can’t talk about something that’s really bothering me.

But most of all, it’s a blessing to be able to think through my day and make sense of it.

I’m feeling so much calmer after Kinesiology last week. We have taken the sting out of the urgency for change. I am back in alignment for now.

I have a great life. I have a lovely husband and 4 lovely dogs. We have a lovely house and live in a lovely village and I have the luxury of only working 4 days a week. I used to dream of that kind of freedom.

I used to dream of the job I would have and now I have it.

There are days when all of that implodes on me and creates so much stress that I just want to run and hide.

I expect FAR too much of myself and yet I’m proud of that as that is what makes me, me.

I have done all of this with the help of counselling and Kinesiology and the support of everyone around me.

And most of all because I refuse to give into it.

1,871 days without alcohol
1,271 days without anti depressants although always consider them when it gets bad
467 on HRT, not really sure what this has done for me but hey, I’ll keep on.
413 fasting, my newest fad ( I say that and I recognise I’m pretty committed when I settle on something 😂)

So why have I learned in the last 100 days… hmmmm I’ve had some tough days but still nothing like I experienced before. I think there’s always the fear that I will head back down there. Maybe I’m really not a fan of winter.

I’m not missing the van at all, that surprises me but also helps me to know I made the right decision selling her. I’m super excited to explore again in 2024 and I’m so looking forward to some sunshine.

I will miss campsites randomly…. There’s a lovely camaraderie between campers. I will miss that, just not enough to keep running a van. Sure I can get a wee tent if I miss it too much. 😂

I’m feeling really good today. Positive about the future. Grateful for everything that I have and grateful to finally be calm and not want to head for the hills.

I want to explore the whole world and experience the cultures everywhere. I know that I will get to do this and will enjoy every minute of it… it just doesn’t have to happen tomorrow.

So back to today… a run with Calaidh this morning in my new trainers. DRY FEET!!! Yay. Calaidh approves.

When I got home we went to Mocha Jak’s for brunch.

I had the Honey, Pesto & Walnut Avocado Stack which is new! It was really lovely.

Back home and Craig watched the football while I had a wee rest and watched some episodes of Manifest on the iPad, lying on the bed.

I then took Freya out a walk. She’s chuffed with the trainers too.

I did some training with her, she’s a good girl.

It’s been a lovely sunny day. It started to rain when I walked Freya but it’s the first day I’ve been out with a sweatshirt and a bodywarmer and not felt frozen. ☀️

So yeah, 1.401 days…. Bring it on the rest.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1396 a slightly better day ☀️

I’m so grateful to be sleeping despite all this anxiety. Another good night.

I had a really lovely evening it myself last night and even drank a WHOLE bottle of alcohol free Rosé! Decadent huh?! It was super chill and relaxed. It helped my head.

I woke feeling brighter this morning, a sliver of hope that the worst may have passed. I spend a bit of time on my phone looking for positivity and I got hit between the eyes with it…. Here are a few to share.

I hear ya…

If there’s no joy then time is covering up the present moment. That’s exactly what I’m doing just now, I’m panicking about time passing me by… not focussing on the moment st hand.

All I am focussing on are the problems, I can’t see beyond them to the possibilities but I can see that today….

And this…… this will be the year.

I had an ok day today. The sun shone outside and it was cold but lovely. I came home and walked Calaidh and Freya… it was a lovely end to the day… I chatted to mum.

then… I made dinner… another Green Chef vegan delivery… mushroom “shepherds” pie.

It was really super tasty.

So it’s late before I sit down but I’ve emptied and refilled the dishwasher too. It’s the first time I’ve felt like doing anything in the evening and it feels good.

Just one step at a time.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1379 dog jog, dog walk and our nieces 16th birthday party! 🥳

Wide awake at 5am, got up and moved down to the couch to read. Subsequently felt shattered all day.

I got Calaidh and Bhru ready and out for 8.30am and we did the first dog jog in months…. It felt really good. It blew the cobwebs away and the poor puppers were wondering what on earth had happened all of a sudden. We were all breathless when we got back, though not sure they had done anything more than a fast walk 🙄😂 I forgot to take my phone so no pics.

Back home and changed into walking gear and took baby Freya down to the little gift shop to get a birthday card.

She was so good. I did some lead training with her on the way. She doesn’t go out on her own that often so it’s good for her to get some socialisation and go see her Auntie Gayle.

We talked for a wee bit too long and she actually lay down and almost nodded off.

Bless her.

Look at the poor gate on the way back home. It’s just hingin’ in there isn’t it?! I felt really sorry for it…. Empathy for an old gate. Whatever next?!

I lay down for an hour and read and tried to nap but didn’t. Got up and had a shower before Craig got home from work.

We have been up at my sis in laws for our niece’s 16th birthday party. How can she actually be 16 already?!?

We had some lovely party food and was great to catch up with everyone as we didn’t see them over Christmas.

I got a lovely Joma bracelet for my Christmas from them. It’s a gold acorn for strength.

It’s super shiny compared to the others I’ve worn every day.

We played a family quiz game and I always think I’m so rubbish at quizzes. My head just says nope, nope, nope when it’s under pressure and my brain leaves me alone. 😂 I did really well and came 4th or 3rd I think but I was just guessing to take the pressure off!! Obviously good guesses. 🙈😂

So just a quickie tonight as I’m soooo tired! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1378 the day of 800* dog walks prone to exaggeration

It’s 5.15pm and I’m over 20k steps already…. Some days I can barely scrape 2k so that’s not bad going.

I had a great sleep and met Rachel two doors down at 8.20am for our weekly run. (Forgot to write about it last week but we have done it every week in January!)

We ran a bit further this week so I was really pleased. It’s “only” 2 miles but that’s 2 miles more than I did in the last 6 months!! how red do I look?!?

We had to take Craig’s car to the garage for its service and then I started walking the millions* of dogs we now own.

It was actually a lovely morning. Cold but dry and sunny.

First up Calaidh and Bhruic.

The burn’s quite full after all the rain.

Bhru is checking it out.

Back home and swapped them for Freya. Did a bit of recall training with her.

She’s really good when she’s on her own with no distractions.

Wee sweetie… she’s still my baby!

The low winter sun makes everything look lovely. Only downside is my big shadow in the photo.

Back home and swapped for Khaleesi.

She had a lovely walk.

We caught this lovely rainbow as the rain was heading over, thankfully I missed the shower!

The cloud was low hanging with only a little bit of blue on the horizon as it came over.

Still no rest for the wicked 😂 when I got home I tidied the kitchen, put on a washing and filled the dishwasher.

I found one of my favourite socks…… this is it on my hand with the culprit… showing her what she has done!! Mum can you darn it?!?!? 😂 that’s me asking my mum, not Calaidh asking me…. Standing joke some of the socks we’ve asked mum to darn!!

When Craig came home from work we picked his car back up and headed to Mocha Jak’s for lunch. I had the avocado stack!

I then went down the little gift shop and spent about an hour chatting to Gayle. As you do. It’s looking soooo lovely just now.

Back home and into the pub and we’re both on alcohol free! Craig’s done so well with Dry January. He’s made it look so easy.

So home now…. I’ve been a bit antsy today. A lot of my day has felt like a chore and at times I’ve stopped myself and thought, be in the present moment and enjoy what you are doing right now. That’s really helped. I feel like I need “NOW” tattooed on my hand to remind me.

My knees have been great since last Friday. They’re ok ish today so will see how they are tonight after all those steps. They are not stopping me from doing anything which is the main thing!

So happy Friday night and enjoy your weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1364 a lovely Friday off work

5am.

I repeat… 5am.

On my day off.

His alarm goes off at 5am.

Oops sorry baby…… reads for a bit and back to sleep. out for the count.

Me 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I didn’t sleep great last night as my knee was uncomfortable when I turned but I was FAST ASLEEP at 5am. Course I was.

You’ll be pleased to know I finally did my knee physio exercises at 6.30am. My leg has no power at all and it shakes doing these simple exercises! That’s good though as it’s building strength.

I went for another run with Rachel two doors down. My legs are stiff, my knees are sore but it’s not excruciating. It’s not as sore as it can be in bed.

We ran for 1.58 miles and knocked a minute off our time from Sunday. I don’t notice it when we plod in line and chat.

We then took the dogs up the hill for a walk. I took Calaidh. It’s meant to be wall to wall sunshine this morning. Not so…..

I then went back down the hill and took Bhruic up….

Look at the stick she ended up playing with… dogs should never play with sticks but I caught this crazy photo of her throwing it up in the air. (Could have been very dangerous…. 🙊)

Then she jumped in a burn and came out with the muddiest nose!

I finally saw something that might resemble blue sky but it never came to anything.

So by 10am I had done a run, 2 dog walks, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and fed the dogs!

I’m not sure where the rest of the day went 😂 (just remembered and will end with that!)

I cleared out my wardrobe and drawers again. I seem to do that a lot these days but it feels good. I had a shower and got ready and we went out for lunch to Auchengree farm shop near us. Check these cute goats they have running around!

They’re tiny!

I’d fasted for 19 hours and 22 minutes and I don’t think I made the best choice… I had chicken tempura and pulled pork loaded fries. I should have ordered the salad after all my healthy exercise! It sounds great but I just wanted to sleep afterward…. That remind me I was awake at 5am.

Guess where I had been sitting…. Right on the middle of the mob of dogs 😂

So yeah…. I am randomly heading off tomorrow, on a wee solo trip to Oban for the night. Literally booked this morning.

You might think it would be easier if I still had the van, but I am getting the train up leaving here at 7.10am tomorrow morning. In all the trips I’ve had to Oban I have never gone on the train and I can’t wait to see where it goes. I will see bits of Scotland I’ve never seen before. I am SO excited and I don’t have to drive, I can relax and be chauffeured!

I got a single room in a basic hotel for £39.60… only £9.60 more than I’d spend on a campsite and I get my own bathroom! It’s right on the sea front but I will most likely not have a sea view for that price.

So that’s me for the next few days. Craig’s working and watching football tomorrow afternoon so won’t even notice I’m gone 😂 he says it’s ok… he’ll watch the dogs. I said thank you 🙏🏼😂🙄

Have a great Friday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1359 sleep, jog, dog walk, housework, dinner out!

Another great day in the life…. Though some random anxiety mid day… 🤷🏻‍♀️

I slept like a log last night…. Not surprising I guess after 10.7k in a kayak and all that sea air… but I did have my knee up on a big pillow at the physio’s advice. That seems to have made a difference, though tonight will be the real test as I’ve used my knee a lot today.

I went for a walk/jog/run with Rachel two doors down…. And we actually ran for most of the route, it’s so good to be back out there ~~running~~ jogging!

We did Tough Mudder together in 2022 and ran at a really similar pace. We stopped when either of us needed to and we both felt tired at different times. Neither of us actually like running, which is half the battle!

So at 10am today in the freezing cold thick frost, we gingerly set off. Baby jog steps!!

Selfie in motion!

It’s another stunningly beautiful day.

The roads were slippy!

We walked down the two slippy hills just to be on the safe side but did run most of the way.

Don’t think either of us expected that. Just plodding along at the same speed makes all the difference. We both don’t like to hold anyone up if we’re running with someone faster. It makes it less enjoyable.

So it wasn’t much, it ended up being 23 minutes but I think that’s a really good start.

It’s way more than I managed during the Christmas holidays. All in all today, 15,877 steps so far!

When I got in, I was still quite fired up so took Calaidh up the hill…..

Everything is so pretty in the frost.

Then who suddenly appeared?!? Nacho with Rachel!! He’s off to catch Calaidh!

The Garnock valley looks stunning with the the fog over Kilbirnie loch.

I came home and did housework before Criag and I took the dogs over to the field across the road. This is where my anxiety arose…..

I’m overwhelmed walking four dogs… it’s just completely above my pay grade. I imagined sooooo many things going on. I felt really anxious but instead of holding it all in, I did tell Craig. I didn’t want to spoil the walk and I knew I would if I held it all inside.

He wanted to take them down to Irvine beach park but I was worried there would be too many dogs down there.

When we were in the field I was upset by Khaleesi barking so much, which she does as she has fun…. I thought the dogs might get out the field, was worried someone else would come in the field and we shouldn’t be there. You name it… floods of anxiety.

Here’s the Scottish Dog Behaviourist sitting on a tree stump, calling a client who had some questions, while we were in the field.

The dogs had a blast!

I didn’t actually relax until we got home.

I need to do some work on that.

Here’s Leesi in her new coat. Bless her.

We decided to head to Gro Coffee in Irvine as I got vouchers from Craig’s mum and stepdad for my Christmas.

The sun was just starting to set when we arrived….not a breathe.

Love the way these flats are lit up by the sun.

You can’t book in Gro and they said it would be a 45 minute wait…. So I dragged Craig towards the sunset.

Look at the reflections! My friend Helen will be so proud of me for looking at the reflections.

TEN MINUTES later Gro called and we had to rush back!! There’s a bank of cloud running along the base of Arran so I think the actual sunset would have been stunning but we had to head back.

All of these were taken while walking very fast!!

Our food was the usual Gro standard…. Lovely! meat feast pizza, chicken tenders, halloumi fries and skin on fries.

So all in all, minus this afternoon’s anxiety, I’ve had THE best weekend.

It looks like it will be frosty and sunny most of the week. Long may it continue.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1354 last day of the Christmas holiday & 5 years without drink!!

Another lazy day for me.

I really have to write down a list of things I could do when it’s raining and I can’t think of anything else to do!

I woke at 5 when someone’s alarm went off…. Randomly…. I was awake for an hour and went back to sleep until 10.20am!!!

10.20am. Unheard of.

I couldn’t wake up.

I was dreaming I was on my friend, Helen’s, roof down in Exmouth. I was with Cillian Murphy of Peaky Blinders fame and we were watching for the Aurora Borealis. I was showing him how he could view it through the phone…. Go figure. 🤦🏻‍♀️

No wonder I didn’t want to wake up. 😂

I have been a bit aimless again today but I’ve embraced it. I’ve enjoyed reading some more of Matthew Perry’s book.

Craig and I took all the dogs out for a walk and the heavens opened! I seem to have forgotten to take photos. It was really grey and damp looking.

I ordered a self care journal, recommended to me by my blogger Buddy The Windsor Waffle.

I feel I do need a bit of direction and I hope this will help. I wanted it in the bright sunshine yellow but it was sold out so I went for the rose gold.

I was happy not to set New Year’s resolutions but I don’t want to feel this rudderless again any time soon. I’ve not embraced it.

I’m excited to think about what I want from the coming months. I am not going to give in to January blues.

Today I also celebrate my 5 years without alcohol.

Have a good look at this. I used to be embarrassed by it but not now. I have saved £14,000 by not drinking. I have not consumed 787,800 calories that I might have consumed in alcohol!!!!

With hindsight it would have been nice to have that £14k sitting around to spend.

Actually as I think about that…. Maybe that money helped allow us to keep the house when I left the big job. That’s pretty fair to say I think.

I’ve found being alcohol free this Christmas, pretty hard. It’s felt a bit of a lonely place to be apart from New Year’s Day where I drank Coke Zero and didn’t bat an eyelid.

I still make such a big thing about it in my head. I feel hard done to that I have chosen this path…. But have chosen this for all the right reasons.

I need to make some peace with my sobriety and accept it as my way of life and stop banging on about it…. It’s become a bit all consuming. Except to celebrate my increasing years obviously!!

When I read that through… maybe that’s why I’ve been bored? We’re so used to drinking through the holidays that I’ve actually not been sure what else to do with myself…. Even after all this time. Maybe the self care journal will help with that. I’m so excited to get it… there are stickers!!! 🥳😊🥳

We’ve had a lovely steak pie dinner tonight.

A mahoosive plateful…. Calaidh’s eyes say it all! When there’s two of you, you share a steak pie…. I’m not sure how it would be enough for 4 people. It was super tasty but way too much pastry.

Craig made his own roasties, with goose fat. They were really good.

I also managed 25 out of 26 fasts 12 hour fasts in December. I’d signed up to do 12 lots of 12 hours! Yesterday I had to hit the button at 11 hours and 57 minutes…. I should have waited those 3 minutes but I forgot about the challenge. 😂😂

So back to work tomorrow. Always hate the end of a holiday but I’ve learned a lot about myself while I’ve been off. I’m looking forward to some routine again.

The salad is made already, in my new salad tub, ready to go. My clothes are all ready to go. My head is ready.

2024 here we come.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1341 soaking wet dog walks and up at the in-laws for the afternoon 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄

I slept like a log.

I felt so grateful when I woke. I still have stomach cramp but I slept right through. The best sleep ever…..

It’s still torrential rain. Absolutely stotting down and meeting itself on the way back up. It’s bouncing!

I changed the bed, sorted through all the Christmas presents that I’ve bought so far and tidied the bedroom. I was on a roll.

I decided I better start the dog walks while I was on a roll…. Oh my word it was sooooo wet!!

I was soaking wet after the first walk so I just kept going. It’s so different from last weeks walks…. Despite the torrential train, I was actually enjoying the walks.

I had to have a shower when I got back in…. I was soaked through to the skin.

I did a quick dog goony photo shoot first!

Khaleesi asking, does my bum look big in this 😂😂😂

So we’re up at the in-laws now for the evening. Not seen them in ages. Craig and Doug are watching the Rangers game.

So is Bhru!

Their tree is beautiful!!

More photos tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

Day 1335 a beautiful misty morning of dog walks and the Christmas tree is up 🎄

I had a lovely wee evening to myself last night. Stayed wrapped up and kept topping up the fires in the dining room and sun room. By 9pm I’d taken my hat off…. Was feeling the heat!

I watched two really good movies….. I chose…. Wisely. 😂 quoting Indiana Jones 😂

I slept right through to Calaidh barking around 6,30 and managed to snooze until 8am.

We still have snow but it’s really misty today. I started dog walks before 9 and finished just before 12pm!! I’m sitting here wondering why I am absolutely shattered…. 😬😂😂 maybe that’s why!!!

I took Bhru out diets. Her walk was the best as the clouds cleared to give some dramatic sunshine, while the mist kept swirling around.

We went into Spiers Old School Grounds.

My favourite gate of all gates.

By the time I got out with Calaidh it had all misted over and showed no signs of clearing.

By this time Craig was home from his brothers so we headed up to the Gateside Plant Centre across the road, to get our Christmas tree.

I had to jump in the sled 🛷

We got a beautiful tree!!!

It’s almost too pretty to decorate.

As challenging as it is to get 3 dogs wearing scarves, in front of the Christmas tree…. Try 4!!!

Cala8dh shouldn’t be in the dark scarf and poor Khaleesi looks like she’s wearing a shawl!!! I may try this again sometime but for a first pass it will do.

Not happy about this scarf malarkey but loving the treats… s’pose it was worth it for that!

I feel absolutely shattered today. I had so much I wanted to do as it’s my only day in the house….. but I feel like an exhausted dead weight. I had a shower, got Christmas jammies on and went to bed for an hour and half and was out for the count. I’m still tired. I have lost all of my oomph. When I lie down my knee starts thumping like I’m forcing it to lie at the wrong angle…. I still fall asleep.

I always start to panic in December that I’m running out of time when I haven’t really thought about presents yet.

I guess that’s ok. I need to allow myself to rest. Not felt this way for a good wee while. Again… I guess that’s ok. This too shall pass.

Still no heating but I’ve definitely adjusted to the temperature. It’s cold but it’s bearable and layerable 😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1326 eye test in Largs, shopping, housework & dog walks… I’m knackered!

Up at 6.30 to head over to Largs for my eye test at 8.30am. I booked the early morning one so that I could make the most of my day.

It was much more windy and choppy than I expected. It was also freezing!! The sunrise was lovely though.

Marvelled at how close these churches are.

My eye test at Specsavers went well. My prescription has only changed by one point so I don’t need to change my glasses just yet. I did go for a cheap pair of reading glasses, in the new prescription, for more intense reading, but my varifocals will do me just fine just now.

They did find a new freckle at the back of my right eye.

Who knew that was a thing?

They sent me back for a second “back of the eye” photo, so they could catch it specifically. The guy got a great capture of it.

I need to go back in 3 months for the same again so they can monitor the size of it. Any growth is bad.

I got out at 9.20am and found that hardly any of the shops were open.

I went into Costa Coffee and had a peppermint tea (who actually does that?!?) to heat up and use the loo…. Not necessarily in that order!!

I then had a wander around the charity shops. I found River Island jeans and a Fat Face top for £11 in total in the British Heart Foundation Charity shop.

I commented that they have some really lovely things in the Largs BHF shop… the lady told me they only put out the best of everything and try to display the brands as much as possible, in that particular store. I was really impressed with everything they had today.

I took more photos as I headed back to the car.

Next stop, Tesco, for a food shopping and came home and put it all away. Played with the dogs out the back, loaded the dishwasher, put away dry washing and put on a new load.

Then I took the two Cal’s…. Calaidh and Khaleesi out for a walk. It was beautiful but cold!

Khaleesi has lots of fun off the lead. I don’t keep her off for long.

You need to be standing steady when you shout come….. when she comes, she comes…. Wallop!!!!!

Craig was home by the time I got back. He still had work to do, so I set off out with a Freya and Bhru.

It’s already getting dark.

The same road on two separate dog walks.

The same tree at 3 separate times today.

The moon is massive.

It’s been a lovely day. I also fasted for just over 22 hours today which was a lot but I needed a wee fat burn after all the junk I’ve been eating since the weather turned colder.

Oh I also made more soup today which is really good again, great to break a fast with.

So yeah, a productive day off work!

Lovely to see sunrise and sunset. It’s the best part of this time of the year.

Have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone 🌅🌅🌅