Day 1236 an unexpectedly warm day spent working in the garden & International Dog Day (who knew?!)

Another great sleep but awake at 5am… on a Saturday dammit. I tried to go back to sleep for 2 hours but it wasn’t happening! I finally got up at 7am.

We sat and had a coffee then I got ready to take the dogs out.

It’s actually a lovely morning. It’s warm and sunny… I didn’t realise.

These cows were watching us! 🐮🐮🐮

Lovely blue sky 💙

Big shadows this morning!

The cow guy was making some noise as we walked towards it! went silent for the photo!

Scary moo coo.

So when I got back I got straight into the gardening. I didn’t plan to do any, and the forecast was for rain all day. Thought I may as well be outside since it was warm and dry.

It was proper back breaking stuff. Trying to take as many roots out of the ground as I could. I even moved some plants around, which I may regret, but, the garden at the bottom was very congested. If the moved plants take up the top then great but if not, you couldn’t see them anyway.

When we first moved in here, the back of the garden was fully overgrown. We paid to have it cleared and then put bark down.

Big mistake.

That’s not fair actually, it served its purpose at the time but bark eventually mulches down and becomes mud. We’ve added layer upon layer of bark in order to dry up the mud, but it keeps mulching down.

We have decided to do away with the bark but it’s slow progress. Hoping for as much free artificial grass as we can get.

I found a path that we covered up and have been digging that back out.

It’s slow progress as I get sore hands and arms…. And I do get bored with it!

I’ve been thinking for a good few weeks that I must get back to exercise. I feel guilty for not doing any and I have sag where I haven’t sagged for years.

I need to remember that the dog walk and a full workout in the garden count too! It was a hard slog.

I had a shower and washed mud out my hair and came back out to sit and let my hair dry.

I am shattered. I am silent. I’m not gonna give you the chat of your life tonight. (Think Craig has sussed this already)

I am beyond calm.

I am thinking of nothing. Maybe a nap would have been a good idea.

This is not the best photo but it shows where I was working today.

Happy International Dog Day from our gang and the Scottish Dog Behaviourist.

Have a lovely Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone 🐶🐶🐶

Day 1230 a wee trip with Gayle to the Scottish Trade Fair at the SEC

Oooh I did not get the best sleep last night. I’m not sure why? I read until late to try to finish my book and maybe my head was buzzing?!?!

I’d actually had a fairly antsy evening, considering I’d had such a lovely day. I could not decide what I wanted to watch on tv. I started the Sixth Commandment on iPlayer but I couldn’t get into it. I needed something bright and cheerful rather than dark and intense.

I had the room all lit with candles as it had been such a dark afternoon.

These two were sitting at the top of the stairs when I sent them up to bed last night. Too cute. Please don’t make us go in our room mum… please can we come and sleep with you?!?

I didn’t feel the need to sleep with a herd of wildebeest!!

I didn’t get to sleep until about 1pm and woke again at 3 and finally at 6. I suppose I should be grateful I slept through the “5am alarm” which wakes me most days.

I dried up the last of the defrosting freezer and put the oven trays and shelves back in the oven. I forgot I’d cleaned all of them yesterday too. Well, I tried my best. I popped half in the sink and half in the bath with dishwasher salts. It’s amazing how much it lifts. I’m also very proud of my freshly defrosted freezer!!

I took the dogs out at 7.30am… no photos this morning as it’s very non descript weather. Hmmm that appears to not be a word?!? Who knew?!?

I did take these lovely flowers on the way into the village…. With the pylon in the background!

Gayle and I are heading to the Scottish Exhibition Centre for Scotland’s Trade Fair again…. Assuming this will be the autumn/winter collection….. oh jeez and probably Christmas!!! I never thought of that… how will I cope this early on?!?! 😂😂

Here we are, about to go in!!

So it was much smaller than the one in January. Only one small hall. I think we were both a little disappointed…. strangely there was virtually no Christmas stuff out either!!! I didn’t expect that. It was worth it for a couple of suppliers that Gayle got to meet though.

To be fair, all the gift shops will have had to order Christmas stuff months ago but I hadn’t realised that. We had a lovely wee day anyway and Gayle bought us a huge chunk of Red Velvet Cake and coffee.

The motorway was heaving when we left the centre of Glasgow so Gayle took me the scenic route through her old stomping ground, Renfrew and Paisley!!

I have never been to Renfrew. She gave me a wee tour with running commentary.

How pretty is the Town Hall?!? Very Bavarian I thought? Lovely flowers on the central reservation too.

One of things I want to do this next year is to go on tours where people take me around and show me the sights!!! Exactly what today was.

It’s sunny now that I’m home but still really windy. I’ve tried to sit outside to write this but had to come in when the sun went behind a cloud.

This next one really spoke to me. “The dark tunnel of changes leads to the light of possibility”.

During everything I went through, as awful as it was, I always knew I would be ok. I always knew things would work out, I knew I wouldn’t lose the house, I knew it would eventually be ok.

This calm of the last week has been so lovely. I am truly grateful for every day. I’m not wishing it to be over, or wishing for the next day. I’m happy and content in my own head. Yes I want to sell the van and look for my next thing, yes I’m looking forward to my holiday but I am not wishing my life away.

I’ve said it before but I am so grateful to have had that wake up call. I stopped fighting for a life I had outgrown. I sat in Gran’s chair and went through some pretty dark times but it was all worth it to find this version of me.

So here’s your Sunday reminder that we can take anything life throws at us.

Oh and Craig and Calaidh are home.

They haven’t messed up too much of my tidy home.

Yet.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1229 dog walk, housework, food shopping and Curiosity coffee & cake

I am having the loveliest wee day to myself. I am super productive when Craig is not here, what is that all about?!? How do I get so much done when I’m on my own, yet lounge about moaning about being “tired” when he’s here?!?

I had the best sleep. Out for the count until my body clock woke me at 5.02am. I’m waking up at Scottish Dog Behaviourist time, even when he’s not here!!

I checked the weather and my phone and all was quiet despite quite a bad storm overnight, Craig & Calaidh must have survived the night in the tent!

I managed to fall back to sleep until just before 8am. That’s more like it.

I got Bhruic and Freya up and straight out for a walk after their breakfast.

It’s strange weather, pretty windy and obviously had been very wet, but the wind was warm and the sky very dramatic.

On one hand very sunny but on the other very mean and moody!

I came home and got stuck into the housework. It’s amazing how clean your house can be when you actually clean it…. Ok I know! Obvious…… now I have a bit more time, it’s easier to stay on top of it. I’ve done two washings and have hoovered the whole house again.

This is a part of our Shark anti hair wrap hoover…. I’ve been SO disappointed with it since we got it, years ago now to be fair. It seems to delight in wrapping hair instead.

To be fair, it still does it’s job as THIS is how much hair it picks up from one rug in one week.

I do fight a loosing battle with housework. We both have long hair and we have 3 dogs… she who once lived alone in a spotless house, had to relax some standards. There are times when I think I relaxed them way too much but hey… life is not all about housework. 😂

I headed out for a food shopping at 11.30… now this is quite unheard of for me. If I’m doing anything like that, I usually have to go first thing, so I’m there before anyone else and can get parked and first choice of everything…. Blah, blah. Today I broke my own rule…. Didn’t even consider the panic a mid day shop would sometimes bring. Just did it.

I thought this was a very Scottish supermarket photo!

On my way back, I headed to Curiosity which has just opened in Beith. It sells coffee, cakes and a few wee curiosities.

This is Lesley who owns it. She came to the little gift shop a few weeks back and brought us a free coffee. I finally got there today.

It’s a beautiful space. I love the colours. there’s only one wee table, so will mostly be takeaway.

I had a Mint Oak Milk Latte, really randomly as I have NEVER put mint in a coffee, but wow…. It was soooo good. The coffee is lovely, really mellow. I also had a Rhubarb and Custard Blondie with chunks of hot chocolate in it. That speaks for itself!!

This is how I broke 19 hours of fasting!!

There’s a lovey unique view of the Beith Townhouse!

I love the cake cabinet.

I had a great chat with Lesley and even met Emma who has started supplying cakes to Curiosity. Cakes by Emma 🧁🧁🧁

I finally dragged myself out of there and headed back up the road. I put all the shopping away and started defrosting the freezer. As you do!

It was sunny for a wee bit there but has mostly been wet and windy today.

So who knows what relaxing things I’ll get up to tonight. I might read a bit, I might find a good movie or I might watch some more YouTube clips on the most beautiful places in the world to visit. That’s what’s on in the background as I write this.

And relax.

I’ve had the loveliest day.

Life is good.

Have a great Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1219 much better day today though still very busy!

Thankfully Kinesiology did the trick again and turned my tornado, firework head back to calm.

I say it every time but it’s such a relief when the Drama Queen packs up and leaves the Peaceful Princess to get on with life. (I came up with that all by myself…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂)

When I feel peace and calm, I can’t imagine how bad the anxiety feels, it seems incredulous to me that I can put myself through that turmoil… but hey I do it all by myself. My reactions to triggers, my own lack of self worth, among others, has a huge part to play when I feel down.

Abbie the Campervan is getting a new power steering pump today to the tune of £532. I didn’t fully advertise the sale until I knew she was fixed so it’ll be full steam ahead this weekend. I’m ready to move on to my new life now. I’m still very sad to see her go but also very ready to see what comes next.

I’m going to try to do a vision board of what my travelling future looks like. I know it will be more guided trips as I’m really enjoying that. Saga bus tours here I come!!! Joking…. 😂

I have felt SO much better today. I am fully guarded against all the energy shifts that are going on at the moment. I know so many of you will think this is mumbo jumbo but it really makes sense to me.

So another awfy busy day at Tartan HQ… constantly adding to the lists but hey, today I can cope with that as I know I can only do my best.

I’m heading into the pub to meet the Crochet Hookers now so I’ll leave you with another few photos from the weekend!!

Hunterston Nuclear Power Station through a porthole in the ladies toilets!!

Ailsa Craig is the dot on the horizon!

The view over to Arran.

Up on top deck.

Passing my favourite Portencross Castle.

Reversing into Ayr. A pilot had to sail out of the ship and come on board to dock the Waverley in Ayr. Fascinating to watch how they fulcrum us round the port using ropes.

Sailing into Girvan with the lovely beach in the background.

I am so very lucky to live here and have access to such lovely scenery.

Gotta stop there, crochet awaits!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1210 torrential rain all day but still a sunny disposition 😆🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It has not stopped raining all day. I was up by 6 and into Tartan for 7am, to wash Abbie the Campervan, as people were coming to view her today.

I wore old clothes and took my work clothes with me and even a hair dryer! I needed it all. I was soaked through by the time I’d finished. A customer came in to drop off a van about 7.30am and I looked like a drowned rat 😂

Anyway, sadly it was not meant to be. I have a very clean van for no reason as they decided to buy something else over the weekend.

After the initial disappointment at getting out of bed so early and getting soaked, I wasn’t even that upset as these things happen. No amount of being upset or annoyed makes any difference… and yes I hear myself! Who actually am I?!

There have been a few things today that would normally really stress me out or set some rocket off, inside my head. I’m so pleased when I can let things go that would usually be a trigger. I accepted the situations for exactly what they were and got on with with was needed. I really felt the difference today. (I should say that none of these things are a big deal and all SHOULD be totally let go anyway.)

When you suffer from anxiety and serious overthinking, it’s an amazing feeling when that critical voice is quiet. That voice would have had a field day today. I know everything it would say and even when I try to hear it, I sit here smiling knowing that none of it is true and none of it is means anything. I hope that makes sense.

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is still out at work so I have the remote to myself and I’m catching up on Sweet Magnolias…. My lovely friend Cheryl-Lynn posted on FB about it, I didn’t realise there was a third series yet! It’s such a sweet show… it wouldn’t be Craig’s cup of tea…. At all. 😂

I’ll leave you with some photos of Abbie the Campervan. FOR SALE!!

It’s the cleanest she’s been since I first bought her from exactly that same spot outside Tartan Campers!

That was the fastest photo shoot in the rain!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1209 another amazing day gutting the house (who ever says that?!?) 🤭🙄😆

Oh my god I love a clean and organised house. I love, love, love, love it!!!

Ok so you get the picture!

Craig has been on it too and we have really gutted the place. I wouldn’t say we have thrown much out, to be honest, but we have moved some things around the rooms. My Gran always said a change is as good as a rest.

I changed and dried the bedding today. Despite the torrential rain this morning, it dries up and was a windy day. It dried really quickly.

I’ve got a few camping bits and pieces to put up for sale. I’ll get to that one day.

I cleaned all the windows in the van. I cleaned the window in the dogs room and outside it where the white plastic had for all green and mouldy. I spent a half hour hanging out out upstairs window.

I was on a roll.

I’ve had a shower and washed my hair ready for clean bed.

I’ve made my lunch for work tomorrow.

I’ve made roast chicken dinner with a lovely dessert… pancakes with clotted cream and (wonky) strawberries, drizzled with warm Biscoff spread and Nutella. Dessert was amazing!!

I’m ready to sell Abbie the Campervan. Her paperwork is all in row. I’ve listed her unique selling points ready for an advert if we have to do one. There’s a couple coming to see her tomorrow. I hope they love her!! I hope she looks clean enough!

There are a lot of exclamation marks in this blog today… ooh forgot I even went to Claire’s for a Turkish Apple Tea which was very lovely.

I’ve had a lovely weekend!

I even have some lovely photos of our huge Hydrangea..

This next one really hit home for me. “If we keep them happy, they won’t turn on us”

I lived my every waking moment by this mantra…. That eventually broke me.

I am so grateful that it did, which seems really crazy to say but otherwise I don’t think I would ever have achieved this level of peace in my life.

Long may it continue. 🥰

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1169 a teensy weensy bit grumpy this afternoon but clawing it back!

I was shattered when I got up this morning again. Slept like a log all night and could hardly move when the alarm went off. Since starting HRT I reckon this would most likely be time of the month, but nothing happens anymore so maybe I just have the lethargy and negativity so graciously served up at this time, or I’m actually just tired and grumpy!

I dragged myself out on dog jog and actually felt so much better for doing it. I was very grateful for dog sniffing to save me jogging!

It’s super cloudy this morning, rain forecast but warm considering it’s only 6am.

So I actually felt great this morning.

Noticed that I wasn’t able to like any comments on my new Just Jules Photography page first thing, but figured it must be a signal issue and didn’t think any more of it.

Got the monthly stock check completed today which is always a big task. All these ducks that I want in a row for finishing up on Thursday, grew arms and legs and started walking away from me! Jobs that I thought were easy became more than I bargained for. I think I have to accept that I won’t get it all done.

I also felt a bit like this before we finished up for Iceland. The pressure I put on myself, to leave everything in a perfect state, makes me anxious and worried when things don’t go to my well laid plans. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I catastrophize about everything that could go wrong when I’m not there to manage my side of it. Why would I ever take holidays eh?!

Today’s motto was “ works well under pressure…NOT!” I reckon. I do not work well when I’m out of control, that’s for sure.

I found out at lunchtime that I was on some kind of 9 hour curfew with Facebook….

My activity didn’t follow which standards? Doesn’t help that everyone I told said “what did you do wrong?” 🥺

My account was hacked a few weeks back. Someone random accepted s friend request that I hadn’t made. I caught it quick and my password was changed. since then they keep asking me if my activity is my own…. Which is great really but it feels like FB hasn’t been the same since. My newsfeed has been dreadfully slow, mostly businesses and I hadn’t felt right for a while. Now this. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Then the doctors surgery phoned to say, “good news, we have managed to track down some Utrogestan (progesterone) for you…. You just have to collect it in Howood”

😳

I felt so deflated by everything. Real doom and gloom and humphing about thinking it’s so unfair I can’t even drink to cheer myself up.

None of these things are a big deal…. I apologised to the lady calling from the doctor, for my dejected tone and told her I’d just had a bad afternoon and I thanked her for trying to source the progesterone… she felt really bad that I had to try and get to Howood which is actually 12 minutes from here. That puts it into perspective doesn’t it! I work 5.5 days a week and don’t have any spare time to go and get it…. But I will have to make the time!

So I listened to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast on the way home.

That did the trick. Sorry I should also add that I vented it all to poor mum… that probably really did the trick and the podcast smoothed over the cracks.

Take time for yourself every day to be present in the day.

They called it a ritual. I don’t imagine much more of a ritual than writing a daily blog every day, so it was great to hear of the benefits of doing something like this. Sitting with your emotions, anger, fear and worry and trying to understand it. Even if only for 30 seconds a day. This, of course, takes me way longer than that 😆

The blog hasn’t posted automatically over to FB for 3 nights now. These things are sent to try us! There’s good reason so many people avoid it! Will see how it goes tonight.

It’s a beautiful evening. The sun is hot. I’ve had another lovely salad, fasting is still going well and we go on holiday on Saturday. So much to be grateful for. I’ve had an alcohol free pink gin and lemonade in a gin glass with a huge ice cube!!

It made a lovely sound as I swirled the ice cube round in the glass. Like a bell ringing… kinda.

I would love to get up for sunrise tomorrow morning on Summer Solstice but it’s at 4.34am and the forecast looks cloudy…. I would also love to stay up for sunset at 22.07!! I am fairly certain my tiredness will allow neither. 😆

Stay safe everyone ☀️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿☀️