Day 1342 reflections on my anxieties but we had a lovely evening 🎄🥰

It’s 11.07am and I am sitting on the couch with a freshly ground coffee (decaf!) in my lovely new glass that Claire gave me for my birthday.

We had a lovely evening but didn’t get home until 2am. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️😬 That’s unheard of for me! I managed to stay awake just long enough to drive home.

So in true Julie fashion, I’ll tell you some of the anxieties behind the lovely night.

We haven’t seen Craig’s mum and step dad for far too long so it was lovely to be going up to see them at their house. It’s always so festive!

This is how big the snowman ⛄️ is!

Craig’s mum always wants to see the dogs and I have HUGE anxiety taking them anywhere. So Craig obviously wants to take the dogs and his mum wants them to come. Am I the only one that thinks that’s a crazy idea?!?!

I always see the worst in them. I grew up with the children should be seen and not heard and I guess I think that my dogs should be the same… which they are most certainly not. They are dogs. (Obviously)

I can’t imagine why anyone would want 4 dogs running around their lovely Christmassy home…. As I write that I actually have a wee tear… how awful is that that I am ashamed of them?!? There’s hair and dirty paws…. I mean it was torrential rain for two solid days…. Then there’s the noise… especially when they get very excited. Four dogs are impossible for me to control in my total control world.

Maybe it’s time to let go of some of that control and relax a wee bit (no shit Sherlock!)

The dogs were amazing. Craig was amazing with them, as usual. ♥️

There’s a pattern in my life…. I expect the worst, worry so much in advance and it’s never as bad as I think. I don’t know that I’m worrying. I just chose the path of least resistance. I feel so much better these days but it’s because I’m avoiding certain things that have the potential to make me feel bad again. Wow wore tears. Honestly I can’t recommend journaling enough…. I had no idea what I was going to write when I sat down and all this profound stuff comes tumbling out.

Look at them…. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Craig’s mum had them literally eating right out of her hand. Bless. They followed her around whenever she moved. if you look to the right of her… Princess Cookie the Chihuahua is snuggled on her blanket on the couch! This is the first time Khaleesi has spent any time in anyone’s house. She loved being at her new Gran’s house 🥰

Calaidh and Bhru always love Grans.

We were sure there was someone out there?!?!

Yes the were muddy in the garden but Craig’s mum had a big rug at the back door that caught most of the muddy paws and Doug said any mud hoovers up fine the next day, when it’s dried.

We had a lovely dinner! Silverside roast beef and ALL the trimmings and then some.

Doug & Helen.

Cookie is a little overwhelmed.

She usually follows Calaidh everywhere she goes, but not so much this time. she wasn’t too impressed with Khaleesi joining their gang. She growled at Khaleesi a few times and Leesi got the message and jumped away.. it was quite funny to see. I still managed to get some Cookie cuddles! Tickle my tummy Auntie Julie 😂😂😘

A bit blurry but Calaidh sporting my Christmas cracker hat!!

Bless her.

I then had the anxiety of a foggy drive home in Craig’s mahoosive car at 2am. I used to take stuff like that in my stride. Not so much now. I was so relieved to get home…. Incident free obviously!

So…. This.

I think today is going to be all about the cosy blanket. I’m curled up on the couch with Calaidh at my feet. Bhru and Leesi are over on the other couch and Freya is lying on the floor. I’m so, so proud of them. And me… I’m pretty proud of me for figuring it all out.

Also I should say I hit my 1,800 days alcohol free on Thursday… kept forgetting to write about it.

For anyone who knows me, you will understand the true enormity of this. I loved a good drink… my life revolved around it. I need it to make me tick, I’d got into such a rut at work and I guess in life full stop. It was my one release. A chance to forget how dreadfully unhappy I was trying to please everyone except myself. As time went on it stopped numbing the pain and only added to the pain. The shame, regret, hangovers, blackouts.

Drinking is not for me.

It means I get to sit with the awkward, raw and uncomfortable emotions that I feel at times….. 😳😬

But most of all I get to be free.

Stay safe everyone 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Day 1341 soaking wet dog walks and up at the in-laws for the afternoon 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄

I slept like a log.

I felt so grateful when I woke. I still have stomach cramp but I slept right through. The best sleep ever…..

It’s still torrential rain. Absolutely stotting down and meeting itself on the way back up. It’s bouncing!

I changed the bed, sorted through all the Christmas presents that I’ve bought so far and tidied the bedroom. I was on a roll.

I decided I better start the dog walks while I was on a roll…. Oh my word it was sooooo wet!!

I was soaking wet after the first walk so I just kept going. It’s so different from last weeks walks…. Despite the torrential train, I was actually enjoying the walks.

I had to have a shower when I got back in…. I was soaked through to the skin.

I did a quick dog goony photo shoot first!

Khaleesi asking, does my bum look big in this 😂😂😂

So we’re up at the in-laws now for the evening. Not seen them in ages. Craig and Doug are watching the Rangers game.

So is Bhru!

Their tree is beautiful!!

More photos tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

Day 1335 a beautiful misty morning of dog walks and the Christmas tree is up 🎄

I had a lovely wee evening to myself last night. Stayed wrapped up and kept topping up the fires in the dining room and sun room. By 9pm I’d taken my hat off…. Was feeling the heat!

I watched two really good movies….. I chose…. Wisely. 😂 quoting Indiana Jones 😂

I slept right through to Calaidh barking around 6,30 and managed to snooze until 8am.

We still have snow but it’s really misty today. I started dog walks before 9 and finished just before 12pm!! I’m sitting here wondering why I am absolutely shattered…. 😬😂😂 maybe that’s why!!!

I took Bhru out diets. Her walk was the best as the clouds cleared to give some dramatic sunshine, while the mist kept swirling around.

We went into Spiers Old School Grounds.

My favourite gate of all gates.

By the time I got out with Calaidh it had all misted over and showed no signs of clearing.

By this time Craig was home from his brothers so we headed up to the Gateside Plant Centre across the road, to get our Christmas tree.

I had to jump in the sled 🛷

We got a beautiful tree!!!

It’s almost too pretty to decorate.

As challenging as it is to get 3 dogs wearing scarves, in front of the Christmas tree…. Try 4!!!

Cala8dh shouldn’t be in the dark scarf and poor Khaleesi looks like she’s wearing a shawl!!! I may try this again sometime but for a first pass it will do.

Not happy about this scarf malarkey but loving the treats… s’pose it was worth it for that!

I feel absolutely shattered today. I had so much I wanted to do as it’s my only day in the house….. but I feel like an exhausted dead weight. I had a shower, got Christmas jammies on and went to bed for an hour and half and was out for the count. I’m still tired. I have lost all of my oomph. When I lie down my knee starts thumping like I’m forcing it to lie at the wrong angle…. I still fall asleep.

I always start to panic in December that I’m running out of time when I haven’t really thought about presents yet.

I guess that’s ok. I need to allow myself to rest. Not felt this way for a good wee while. Again… I guess that’s ok. This too shall pass.

Still no heating but I’ve definitely adjusted to the temperature. It’s cold but it’s bearable and layerable 😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1326 eye test in Largs, shopping, housework & dog walks… I’m knackered!

Up at 6.30 to head over to Largs for my eye test at 8.30am. I booked the early morning one so that I could make the most of my day.

It was much more windy and choppy than I expected. It was also freezing!! The sunrise was lovely though.

Marvelled at how close these churches are.

My eye test at Specsavers went well. My prescription has only changed by one point so I don’t need to change my glasses just yet. I did go for a cheap pair of reading glasses, in the new prescription, for more intense reading, but my varifocals will do me just fine just now.

They did find a new freckle at the back of my right eye.

Who knew that was a thing?

They sent me back for a second “back of the eye” photo, so they could catch it specifically. The guy got a great capture of it.

I need to go back in 3 months for the same again so they can monitor the size of it. Any growth is bad.

I got out at 9.20am and found that hardly any of the shops were open.

I went into Costa Coffee and had a peppermint tea (who actually does that?!?) to heat up and use the loo…. Not necessarily in that order!!

I then had a wander around the charity shops. I found River Island jeans and a Fat Face top for £11 in total in the British Heart Foundation Charity shop.

I commented that they have some really lovely things in the Largs BHF shop… the lady told me they only put out the best of everything and try to display the brands as much as possible, in that particular store. I was really impressed with everything they had today.

I took more photos as I headed back to the car.

Next stop, Tesco, for a food shopping and came home and put it all away. Played with the dogs out the back, loaded the dishwasher, put away dry washing and put on a new load.

Then I took the two Cal’s…. Calaidh and Khaleesi out for a walk. It was beautiful but cold!

Khaleesi has lots of fun off the lead. I don’t keep her off for long.

You need to be standing steady when you shout come….. when she comes, she comes…. Wallop!!!!!

Craig was home by the time I got back. He still had work to do, so I set off out with a Freya and Bhru.

It’s already getting dark.

The same road on two separate dog walks.

The same tree at 3 separate times today.

The moon is massive.

It’s been a lovely day. I also fasted for just over 22 hours today which was a lot but I needed a wee fat burn after all the junk I’ve been eating since the weather turned colder.

Oh I also made more soup today which is really good again, great to break a fast with.

So yeah, a productive day off work!

Lovely to see sunrise and sunset. It’s the best part of this time of the year.

Have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone 🌅🌅🌅

Day 1317 slightly less ratty 😤🥰

I slept like a log last night…. All that decaf coffee and good chat must have done me the power of good!

I felt much better when I woke up this morning. Like a weight had been lifted.

It was a lovely drive to work… dry for the first time in days… I barely had the wipers on.

The rain started pretty soon after I got into the office.

So I was a lot better today but still shoot into orbit when something (that is my job…) is added to my list.

On the plus side I did come up with a couple of processes to try to limit the ad hoc requests. My memory isn’t what it used to be, I am forgetting things so it needs to be written down and tracked somehow. maybe then I can put some control into the ad-hoc….

I took a photo of Gran’s Christmas cactus this morning…. It’s in full bloom a good few weeks early. 😂

It’s really pretty. Mum and dad say their cutting is pink but mine is very pale pink.

I also thought it would make you smile to see the dogs in their room last night. Not sure if I said but Khaleesi has been sleeping in with the three pup-sketeers now for well over a week now.

For some reason I feel the need to wrap her up….. I scoff at my mother in law for molly-coddling her Chihuahua…. And here I am….

She’s from Spain, she needs to be warm!!

Freya took a leaf to bed with her last night. Anyone who knows Freya will know that she always has to pick something up in her mouth before she does anything exciting 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Calaidh seems to be under her blanket rather than on it…

And Bhru just lies on a big pillow as she prefers to stretch out.

She looks at me with a withering look…. More photos?!?!

So yeah… a bit better day today. Need to work on it again tomorrow. At least I had less people to apologise to today so something was better.

This. Is. Me. Full. Stop.

I couldn’t have written that better myself. I can’t focus with any noise in the background, whatsoever. I hate any clothes being too tight, jaggy or itchy, I detest strong perfume or any loud, noisy-for-noisy-sake “music”… I can’t even call it music. I don’t work well under pressure as my mind panics and that’s when I snap. I need to be prepared as anything dropped in my lap becomes like s ticking time bomb that detonates within seconds!

And relax….. off to crochet tonight where I may even crochet the odd granny square!

I feel a deep sense of gratitude for being me.

That almost brought a tear.

I’m complex.

I’m hard work at times.

I just want to be calm.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1314 decorating the sun room!

We had no idea when we got up today that we would decorate the sunroom…. Yet here we are.

These are the before pics.

Actually I look at the photos and it looks fine but any room with an open fire or stove… and 4 dogs living in it…. Is always going to need a refresh….

I should put it out here and say that if anyone loves me enough to decorate my house for free, then that will be gratefully received. 😌😆😂 it’s not my favourite pastime.

It was super frosty outside and I painted in bare feet. My feet were FUREEEEEZING!!!

Here we are after a couple of coats. It still needs one more we reckon but I lost the will to live 😆

It reminds me of how the room looked when we first moved in as it was all white then. It’s so much wider now that is not green!

We painted all morning and then had some homemade soup that I made late last night. It is a good pot this time around. It worked well. Still Ellison’s recipe. 😂

I then, of course, had to tidy up the house as my brain won’t allow me to live in a complete mess for any length of time.

I love that quote. It’s so true for me. I get all antsy when the place is a mess.

I bought another new duvet cover, which seems decadent but honestly I love the new sheets. This is the same as the last one, just a different colour.

I think this one looks really bright… and more importantly it doesn’t have any dog hair on it woo hoo!!

I then had a shower as I need to be clean for clean bed. 😆 so many rules in my head.

Then we took the 4 dogs out.

We headed into the pub next door when we got back. I had two 0% Gordon’s Pink Gin and slimline tonic. We had a catch up with Rachel two doors down. 😘

Craig’s also made lasagne for dinner tonight and I’m soooo looking forward to it!!

It’s been another lovely weekend, memories made, plenty of relaxing and getting things done around the house. ✅✅✅

This is your Sunday evening reminder that you can take everything life throws at you this week.

As my friend Ruth always says, you’ve survived 100% of days so far…. 😘

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1306 the little gift shop, housework & a bonfire 🔥

I woke at 5.53 with a sore knee… actually it was a Calaidh bark that woke me and sore knee kicked back in again. Still not bought Tumeric or Collagen which I’ve been meaning to do. Should add that to my to do list and then it might get done. 😂

I got up to the loo and just never went back to bed. I tidied the kitchen, put another washing on and then headed out with Calaidh, Bhruic & Freya.

It’s a lovely calm morning and the three degrees are all very well behaved.

Gayle had messaged me last night to see if I could pop down to the little gift shop as she’d been doing her Christmas displays and she needed a bit of extra help clearing up….. was I free?!?! I’d move heaven and earth to be free!! (I only moved housework so it wasn’t that dramatic!!)

The shop is such a magical place to be. I love it!! It was great to catch up with Gayle and see some lovely customers that I haven’t seen in ages! I took some photos… of course I did!

I had such a lovely morning! Coffee and chocolate too…. What’s not to love.

So back home for soup and then I got on with the housework. More things pulled together for charity… you’d think there’d be nothing left by now but I’m being so ruthless. I am literally walking past ornaments and thinking that I don’t need that anymore and someone else could have some joy from it…. I did all the hoovering another load of washing and cleaned the dogs room.

By that time Craig had a fire going in the fire pit outside. It’s a lovely peaceful evening. It’s cold but not next to the fire.

We sat out for about an hour. I love being outside. It’s been too long since we did that.

Back in for dinner and look at Khaleesi sleeping on the couch.

Bless her.

Have a lovely Saturday night!

If you’re near Gateside we have a Macmillan Afternoon Tea in the village hall from 2-4pm tomorrow. Please come along!

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

Day 1305 I have had the best day!!

Awwwwww have had the wee best day to myself….. I t’s 4.51pm and just getting dark.

It’s a lovely sky.

It’s been nice all day today. Calm and quiet after all the wind and rain we’ve been having. It’s cold but not freezing.

I woke at 4am with a really sore knee. I took ibuprofen and paracetmol and went back to sleep, until 7.15am! A long lie!

I made a pot of soup, in the slow cooker, before 8.30am… Ellison’s lentil soup again!

I headed straight to the Post Office to get some change for Sunday’s Macmillan Afternoon Tea in the Village Hall. Then onto Lidl for a “cheap” weekly shop…. It was still over £100!

I came back and unpacked the shopping, stirred the soup and headed off out with Bhruic and Freya.

Checking up on mumma! They look like a two headed dog.

The trees are a lovely colour.

One of the really old gates has disappeared…. That’s so sad!

It looked a bit like this one. I hope they didn’t bin it. To be fair, they are so old they’re not much use these days but they are relics.

Back to drop Bhru & Freya off and pick up the two Cal’s…. Calaidh and Khaleesi.

I let Khaleesi off the lead for the first time and she had a great run around. I have to limit it so she doesn’t run too far in her sore paws.

She followed Calaidh around and it was so lovely to watch.

Safe to say someone had a lot of fun this morning. She’s out for the count now.

Back on lead to calm down a wee bit.

There’s a lovely warmth to the sun when it comes out.

When I got home Khaleesi jumped up into the centre of the wee couch. I shouted the other 3 and suddenly got this amazing photo, without even really trying. It’s nice to have a lovely one of the 4 of them.

I did a poo pick in the garden 🤮… then spent the afternoon doing a washing, emptying and filling the dishwasher, cleaning the cutlery drawer, collecting things for charity, cleaning ALL the windows and generally pottering.

I have honestly had the loveliest day. Apart from a fasting panic yesterday, I’ve felt really good these last few days.

I’ve been in control, clear headed, ticking things off lists,. I feel content with my life. I’m trying to appreciate every moment, the days seem longer than usual, I’m getting more done.

I’m happy.

Check me.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1299 a beautiful dog walking kinda day ☀️🐶☀️🐶☀️🐶 with a lovely lunch!

It’s a beautiful morning. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist’s alarm went off at 6am 😳 so I’m wide awake. As soon as it gets light I’m away off up the hill with Bhruic and Freya.

It’s not warm…. That or I’m just a bit underdressed.

The sky is beautiful and there are some really strange clouds that I take a million photos of.

As cloudy as it is, they haven’t come to anything and it’s been beautiful sunshine all morning.

Just a girl leaning on a gate while the dogs run.

It’s very autumnal today.

I mean does that cloud not look like it’s taking over the world?!?

It reminds me of the movie The Fog…. 😳

Back home to put on WAY warmer clothes and I’m off to Lochwinnoch with Calaidh, while Craig is at work. He dropped us off and will pick us back up again.

We have had a lovely walk in the woods! We’ve said hello to so many lovely people and met Border Collies called Angus and Breagha.

I could have stayed home and done all the housework. I’m so glad that I thought to do this.

I’m sitting here on a throne and this is my current view!

I had my headband, buff and gloves on…. But the end of the walk I am very toasty and it’s all off!

These may have been ice houses where food was stored and kept cold, on the Castle Semple estate.

Craig gave me directions to the Collegiate Church ruin.

There are graves inside it.

We then found ourselves in the rhododendron maze!

Thankfully we got out… there was a point where I was secretly hoping the path would lead us out! 😂

Just look at these colours. Wow.

It’s lovely to see Calaidh doing so much exploring. It’s good for her to get such a good walk. I should do this more often.

Isn’t nature just stunning.

I was in my element just walking around taking photos and Calaidh was loving it. I’m so glad I went.

We used to walk the dogs here all the time when we first moved in, and I’ve not been back in years.

Craig picked me up at 12 and we headed to Gro Coffee for lunch. My favourite!

Craig had Stornoway black pudding with chorizo and 2 poached eggs with siracha mayo. It’s was amazing.

Mine not so much. I had the Katsu curry and sadly the sauce was as gelatinous as it looks.

It’s the first time I’ve ever eaten in Gro and it’s not been out of this world with spectacular flavours. I’d fasted for 20 hours and I’d hoped for something super tasty. I took photos of the cakes but we didn’t bring any home.

They really are as big as they look!!

So it’s 4.15pm, the sun has gone and I’m shattered! I’m super stiff from all the walking. I feel about 102 when I get up from a seat.

I’ve got my feet up on the couch now and that might be me for the evening.

I’ve had a lovely day!

Hope you’re all having a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone 🍁🍂🍁

Day 1291 a very productive morning and now knackered!

I had the best sleep again last night…. Until 5.15am. Didn’t wake once! It’s such a relief to be able to breathe properly through the night.

Feeling stronger again today thankfully. We’re in the aftermath of Storm Babet at the moment. It was windy when we woke up this morning and it’s been relentless all day. That hasn’t stopped Julie 3-separate-dog-walks today, 😩 it would probably have been more fun at work. 🙄

To be fair, the first two were incredibly easy, given that I hijacked Holly’s morning dog walk with Leo. Holly lives next door and I knew she’d be going out first thing. I took Calaidh out first and then Holly was kind enough to carry on with me, on the second dog walk, with Bhru and Freya. You honestly don’t know you’re walking when you have someone to chat to!

I was sporting my little gift shop headband…. Not quite sure why I have to go all googley eyed in the selfie though!

Even Calaidh was feeling the ruffle of the wind through her fur.

She’s a pretty girl. All wind swept and interesting.

She did have a good yawn while we waited.

Maybe she was bored with me taking another 400 photos! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Up the hill and back and then round the Gateside loop with the other two!

They had a wee run in the field too.

So back home to swap dogs…. AGAIN… and this time Khaleesi on her own with her new harness.

She’s looking very regal. She was a bit spooked but the wind I think.

I prefer to have a harness on the dogs when I walk them as I think it gives me better control. I don’t know if that’s true or not but safety is in the eye of the beholder…. 💁🏻‍♀️ (I obviously made that up!)

When Khaleesi is on the lead you can call her and she literally comes bounding back by your side!!

It’s so comical to watch! Her enthusiasm is infectious. Here she is coming again……

Bless her.

So finally 3 dog walks later, I can get on with my morning.

Food shopping now… I headed up to Home Bargains and Aldi, trying to keep costs down.

Back and unloaded the shopping, put it all away and THEN started to make soup.

Actually…. Check… Me!

I forgot to say through the week but Ellison brought me some of her home made soup for lunch on Wednesday. It is SO tasty. It’s a really hearty lentil soup.

She gave me the recipe…. And I actually made it and it actually worked!!

I don’t have a big soup pot so I had to do an emergency bail out after the first 10 minutes or so, into a second pot! Ellison said it was easy to make but, when you don’t cook, even grating 6 carrots is a chore and a half. 😂 I remembered we have a wee Magimix with a grater when I was 3 carrots 🥕 🥕🥕 in!

It tastes so good. It’s like having Ellison’s soup in my house. The only thing that’s missing is the buttered roll that she always gives me too. She’s awfy good to me she is!

So I have a whole lot of soup now. Guess it will do me all week if I freeze some of it. I’m so proud of myself for making it and loving it.

So I sat down here just after 2pm and it’s 4pm already. I’m not quite sure where the time had gone but I could honestly just have a wee sleep.

The wind is still raging outside and I’ve turned the heating up. I’m just chilling with the pups.

So I hope you all have a lovely weekend when it comes.

Stay safe everyone 🐶🐶🐶🐶

Day 1286 a wobbly morning but off to have a lovely afternoon! 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦

Well the hormones have taken hold this morning for the first time in ages. I am so tearful. The tears are just streaming down my face and while they do stop, they’re back about 10-15 minutes later. This is ridiculous.

I’ve always said I want to tell the truth with this blog, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me to do that.

I’m so glad that Craig has been away this weekend as it wouldn’t have been any fun to be around. Let’s get one thing straight, it’s not being alone that has made me sad… I think it’s my expectations for the weekend…. The amount I wanted to do it needed to be a three week weekend! I was rebuilding the house while catching up with friends and family on top of dealing with the dogs.

I’ve been so impatient with the dogs, not had the confidence to walk the three at once so had to do separate walks where I berate myself all the way round for not managing the three of them… there go the tears again. I met a man with a two dogs off lead and the adrenaline that flowed through me was enough to choke a horse. (Poor metaphor but it did make me smile). Of course it was fine.

Wow, even as I write this I really how difficult my head can be and I bring all of this on myself.

Every step with the dogs was a drudge. Bhru and Freya first, then back for Calaidh. Half way through Calaidh’s walk I felt a surge of positivity and energy which was nice. I smiled, looked around and appreciated the moment.

It didn’t last…. Poor Claire asked if she could borrow two eggs… is there a way to say todays not a good day to be borrowing eggs 🤦🏻‍♀️😔 she spotted it straight away… more tears. Jeez….

I was planning to fast until I head over to Edinburgh this afternoon but I had a egg mayo bagel and it has helped. I’d already done 16 hours fasting so I thought some food would help.

I’m gonna put this out before I go. We have a family get together in Edinburgh this afternoon at mum’s cousin Joyce’s house. (Always call her mum’s cousin Joyce for some reason… smiled again!)

I was have a lovely afternoon and at some point normal Julie will kick back in and no one will ever know. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆😉

At some point I will feel completely calm and forget that this ever happened…. Except that I have written it all down. ☺️

I saw rainbows everywhere this morning.

Heavy overnight frost!

Then I spotted these really cool clouds on the way back down the hill. They made me feel a bit dizzy through the lens. (lens?!? 😂 iPhone!!)

So yeah… not the best morning. No real reason… all hormonal and I’m cringing like a cringey thing putting this out but if you met me on the walk I’d have smiled and you’d have had no idea.

You meet people like me all over the place. Everywhere. You have no idea how someone is feeling. So please always be kind.

I say that…… and don’t be too kind if you see me today as you might get tears 🥹🥹🥹😔😂😂 best just pretending none of this has happened 😂😂

So I’m off to shower, get dressed, hair and make up done and I’ll be fine. I’ll have a lovely day catching up with family I’ve not seen since February. I’ve arranged for neighbours to pop in and let the dogs out.

I have a busy week at work while half of Tartan take holidays at the same time…. But it will all be fine and I’ll wonder what all the fuss was about. Again.

Life with crazy hormones can be tough.. but I’m fighting it every step of the way.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1285 a lovely lunch out at Mocha Jak’s ☕️🍜🧁

Ooooh I am not in the best fettle today… I slept much better than last night but did feel a fair bit of pain in my knees, the tablets didn’t seem to do much to ease it. Got up the loo at 12.30am and took some more.

Got a woof woof woof at 7.22am so that we me awake. I decided to up and out with the dogs as soon as I could both to “get it over with” and to get me moving. I could so easily flop into a couch and not move this morning.

Turns out it will be at least another year before I can say I’m menopausal. That wonderful time of the month has returned so there’s the reason for my lower mood.

Everything I look at seems broken, messy, needs fixing, needs sold or given to charity and I can’t be bothered doing any of it. I feel overwhelmed with stuff and I just keep moving it from room to room…. We’ve been here a few times before haven’t we?!

I’m very irritable, so Craig is lucky he’s out the way on his training course!

I want to do everything today but my head wants me to give in and do nothing. Like later yesterday, every foot forward is a chore. Everything I think of doing is an irritant.

So back to the dog walks. Bhru and Freya first and lots of photos of the lovely but freezing morning!

FROST!!!!!!!!

I did forget to say that I needed my fingerless gloves on Thursday and the car beeped to say it was less than 4°C…. This is the first frost I’ve seen this year.

Thought this was really pretty…. Not often you see flowers at this time of year.

Rainbow at the end of the road!

Then turn into the lovely sun. It’s really cold and I know the rain is coming.

So no pictures of the dogs but hey, you’ve seen enough….. I have Calaidh now and the rainbow’s still there. We head up the hill so I can let her off the lead.

At the end of the rainbow!

It’s raining now but the sky is really dramatic.

So dark one way and so blue, the other.

Always loved these trees on the hill. The two tallest ones from the left were named by own dog walking group, Treesa and Twiggy but Oakley is now just a stump… the 3 trees to the right look just as dramatic on the skyline…. Looks like Twiggy is dead now too. I’ve watched Oakley die and be cut down since we lived here.

Stunning clouds.

So I’m back home with the wood burning stove on and I’m sat in a grump. The ivy is looking absolutely stunning in the now, bright blue sky. I had loads I wanted to do this morning but have sat and wallowed instead.

Some folk heading out to Turkey this morning, some out on the Waverley for her last sailings of the season and I’m sitting trying to make myself feel bad. I want all of that…. And yet rarely compare myself to anyone any more.

I’m giving in to my head. As I write that, the realisation dawns. Today is what I choose to make it. I have a lovely lunch planned with Evelyn after meeting her new puppy Betty! That will be lovely.

When it’s hard, you need to choose to give in and accept it or fight it and be proud of what you achieve. I’ve had enough wallowing…. Upstairs to hoover the bedrooms and the stairs, shower, changed and out for lunch. Just do it!!!

I did…

It’s 17.35 and I’ve had a lovely rest of day. I headed round to Evelyn’s to see her little Working Cocker puppy Betty. She is sooooo tiny!

What a little beauty!!

She’s in her crate as we are about to leave and it shows just how teeny tiny she is…

She’s such a good girl though and has some speed when she runs already.

We headed to Mocha JaK’s and had a lovely lunch. I had chicken and rice soup and a cheese and pickle toastie…. It was SO tasty!

We then had a wander around the Geilsland Craft Fayre….. and stopped for another coffee and Biscoff Rocky Road between us. That was even better!!

We had a great chat and she cheered my mardy face up.

I came home and finished off some cleaning before I sat down with come cheese and biscuits for dinner.

The day has turned right around. I feel brighter, my joints and muscles are less painful and I’m more relaxed. I feel calm. The drama has gone.

And relax. Just me and the 3 amigos tonight.

Candles on. It’s pretty.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1284 Friday 13th and I have an “empty” with 3 dogs…. Yeah I know… the house is never empty with 3 dogs!! 🐶🐶🐶

I did not sleep well last night….. the first day without full caffeine in weeks and I slept like I was still switched on. All night I tossed and turned like a tossy turney thing.

I felt pretty tired when I got up but wanted to head up to Braehead Shopping Centre early, to return clothes to M&S and exchange my Turkish Lira back.

For what it’s worth, my advice is not to take foreign cash abroad anymore. It cost a fortune to exchange and we hardly used any. The woman at the counter said to take English pounds as we all know our Scottish legal tender is not considered legal tender anywhere else in the UK. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 that drives us Scots nuts….. but hey…. I also reckon paying by card abroad is more than enough these days.

So I had a quick wander round Braehead before heading to Aldi for a quick food shop, though I had bought tonight’s dinner from M&S. Well seeing Craig’s away!

He left after lunch to head to Glenrothes for a dog training weekend with Jo-Rosie Haffendon, Khaleesi’s previous owner. He’s taken Khal with him so she can see her.

So I headed off out on two walks… with hoddit and doddit first.

It’s been like April showers today. I was lucky enough to get out in between them.

Saw this lovely rainbow as we walked round.

I have to say that I am not feeling full of sweetness and light today. I’m not appreciating the present moment…. Each step was a struggle. My knees are sore, my right ankle is sore and I just felt generally ugh. I was fighting it all the way. I’m annoyed that I don’t drink, don’t smoke, take supplements and drink pretty much only water and the odd coffee and yet I still feel a bit rotten. How is that fair?!? I talked myself into accepting it was what it was and it wasn’t the end of the world. I managed to feel a bit of peace at that.

I came home to swap out for ploddit…

By the time I got back I have actually walked nearly 15K steps today so I’ve hardly sat down to it. Another positive.

I made my M&S stir fry for dinner.

Randomly with garlic and lemon prawns and feta to go with the pad Thai stir fry!

Then I had a wee 0% Guinness… again randomly… don’t have this very often and it’s really nice. A wee treat.

Finally look how pretty the ivy is out the back now.

Isn’t nature beautiful!

The moral for me today is to stop fighting how I feel. Acceptance is half the battle. I have my feet up writing this and I’m going to do some stretches to try and loosen off my tight muscles.

Then I’m going to get into a clean bed and have a lovely sleep.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1256 a very productive but anxious day…. 😔🫶🏼

Ok so another morning blog rant to record the actual state I am in just now.

Oh my god this car insurance thing is the gift that keeps on giving…. 😔

I’ve been awake since 3am.

I’ve made a list of all the things I need to do to try and stop my head from buzzing. I have 3 precious days off and yet I don’t feel anywhere near as happy as I should, at that.

Number one priority is to get this car insurance debacle sorted once and for all.

I should have just given in and paid the double insurance 4 days ago but the injustice of it all is pushing me to every last ditch attempt. I do not want to give up my 20+ years no claims too easily. I want to try every angle.

I’ve been on the phone to car insurance every lunchtime this week except Thursday because I forgot. Having Khaleesi in work was a good distraction. 😂

I moved down to the spare room at 3am so I didn’t disturb Craig. I wrote my list, read a bit and seems I did get back to sleep at some point.

The red is awake time. I know that’s nothing compared to some people but it’s so infuriating when I know I am causing all of my own stress through my own anxiety. I am making all of this happen.

I called Esure st 8.04am. I was on the phone for 12 minutes…. Only to be told it’s a decision for the underwriters.

Call back at 10am.

I hoovered the whole house.

I called back at 10.04am.

3 min tired of security and waiting to be hung up on.

Esure hang up calls when they are too busy.

Do it online.

I can’t. It won’t let me. It needs authorised by the underwriter.

I need to keep calling back until I can get past the 3 minute mark and get in a queue.

I burst into tears. (Yeah again)

It’s so bloody infuriating.

So I’m sat here having a good cry, writing this and I do feel a bit better.

There is some inner child inside me, having a total hissy fit that I have to go through all this. My teeth are grinding.

Today I will pay the extra premium if this last ditch attempt fails. I won’t tell them that though, if I can ever get through.

So, dog walk time it is. I split them in Freya and Bhruic and leave Calaidh and Khaleesi to last.

It’s dry and mild. We have a lovely walk. It does help so much to be out in nature.

I then came back and took Calaidh And Khaleesi up the hill. Calaidh can be off lead for most of it and Khaleesi gets a shorter walk.

It’s not the easiest having two Calaidh/Khal’s. As Calaidh was off lead I always call her back and Khaleesi thinks I’m calling her. She comes bounding towards me when I’m wanting the other one. It makes me laugh.

Watching Calaidh in the distance.

Checking out the cows…. look at her wee right paw… that’s the sore one. She has a hope, skip and a jump every now and then. She’s a wee soul.

So when I came back I dialled the insurance again….. SOMEONE ANSWERED STRAIGHT AFTER THE 3 MINUTE BLURB!

I was on the phone for 54 minutes. 😳

Esure will not accept the 23 years no claims either.

So they quoted on 3 years and I paid it.

I was obviously on hold for a lot of those 54 minutes…. the hold music was “Wonderful Wold” and “Amazing Grace”…

🎼🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

“I once was lost but now I’m found”

“… and I think to myself what a wonderful world”

🎼🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

It’s enough to calm my mind and realise how far I’ve come. The world didn’t stop turning because I only have 3 years no claims bonus on my car insurance.

It’s was such a relief to finally stop fighting. I was never gonna win, I just had to try.

Craig called to say he was on his way home so I suggested Mocha Jak’s for lunch. I needed cheering up and when you don’t drink, there’s always cake and coffee.

We both agreed we didn’t need the cakes…. AFTER we’d eaten them. 😆 The Biscoff Rocky Road was pretty special.

Once we got back home I spent the afternoon ironing.

I NEVER iron clothes.

Except when I have holidays to pack for. 🙆🏻‍♀️

It’s a bit early to be ironing for Turkey 🇹🇷 but at least a fair bit of it is done. I just might be a creased mess when I’m there.

I’ve fed the dogs. Hung up washing and run the dishwasher.

I am shattered now and just sat down. I might never eat again after that Biscoff Rocky Road.

This made me chuckle 🤭

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1251 a lovely morning canoeing with friends 🛶🛶

Ok so yesterday I had 3 caffeine coffees, 3 alcohol free beers and a 0% gin and slimline tonic…. And I slept like a LOG. Go figure?!?

I had the best sleep. I went to bed really early, about 9pm and read for a bit. Maybe that helped. Who knows?!?

So up and out early with the OG3 this morning. Still resting Khaleesi’s injuries after a couple of big walks earlier this week.

It’s still hot but no sun this morning. interesting cloud cover.

We met Lindsay and Euan at Kilbirnie Loch at 10am this morning. We are so lucky to have this within 10 minutes of the house. We are even more lucky that they have leant us their lovely big, red canoe.

They both had kayaks and Craig and I shared the canoe. 🛶

Now I’ll be honest and say I’ve enhanced this photo a bit but Kilbirnie Loch has blue/green algae at the moment. If it wasn’t so dangerous to dogs, it could be considered quite pretty!

Ready for the off!

I love the luminescence of the green against the water.

At precisely this point in time my Co-pilot (who am I kidding…. Pilot!) reminded me to put down my phone and start paddling 🛶

It was SOOOO calm. Just the most peaceful thing in the world. Out there on the water having laughs with Lindsay and Euan.

They are excellent kayakers.

We are so grateful that they have lent us their canoe 🛶 to try.

Seeing the loch from the water is really lovely. Opens up a whole new world. I have always wanted to kayak around Scotland and Craig is loving the canoe.

Too much chat, not enough paddle 😂

I think these look like a heart beat!

It was so calm, still and peaceful. Just the paddles splashing and the chat and laughter.

Next thing we know, we are heading in here!!

This was just so beautiful and so unusual for us, we’ve never done anything like this before. It was so much fun!

We all have to turn round as the river got shallower further up. I have to say that Craig did all the pilot work and just told me what to do and I actually listened. Check me!

It went surprisingly well considering we are novices.

A wee bit too much photography again 😂

The sky is really moody.

There is a heron flying through this shot but it’s too dark and moody to see properly… the sky that is, not the heron!!

Then we pulled into the waters edge and had tea, coffee and cake!! Lindsay was super organised with her Jetboil, even had a choice of teas!

It was so lovely to stop and look around for a bit (as if I hadn’t been doing that already!!)

Here comes the train!!

Lindsay and Euan swapped kayaks out in the middle of the water. Super impressive.

Euan then did some spinning!!

Craig and I just kept on paddling 😂🛶

Some more of the blue/green algae.

This old walkway has mostly disintegrated now, really sad it wasn’t looked after.

And back to where we started.

Such a lovely morning and still had the whole afternoon to write this!!! That’s how long it takes sometimes when you have so many lovely photos 😂

Hope you’ve had a great weekend and all the best for another lovely week ahead!

Stay safe everyone 🛶☀️🛶

Day 1249 a gorgeous day off work! Even hotter!

It’s been a scorcher today. What a truly beautiful day. ☀️☀️☀️

I’m so lucky to have had the day off work to enjoy it.

I had a dreadful sleep. I was going to call the blog… “can Tiramisu really keep you awake?!?” 😂

I have no idea what did keep me awake. I had half a bottle of alcohol free Kopparberg and some Tiramisu with dinner last night. This was me for most of the night….

Wide awake!!!!

The bedroom was hot which didn’t help. Someone may or may not have been snoring but shall remain nameless 😂

I moved downstairs at midnight and tried to sleep under a crochet blanket. It was much cooler and I did sleep, I know this because I then woke up cold! Figures.

So traipsed back upstairs to bed for a few hours. Eventually got up at 7.

Check Craig’s new T-shirt that says MAL-IN-WAH (Khaleesi is a Malinois in case that doesn’t make sense to you!!)

Safe to say that’s she’s settling in great.

We had some freshly ground coffee(it sounds so lovely when you say it like that!) and then decided to take the FOUR dogs out for a walk.

FOUR…..

For the first time.

And it actually went very well.

As I said, it’s a beautiful morning, it’s hot. I have shorts and a vest top on at 8am. That doesn’t happen often up here. (Sometimes I write like we are in the North Pole… 😂😂)

I should say here, Craig was with me. No way on this earth I’m doing 4 by myself.

Khaleesi thought it was cold and wet when she heard she was coming to Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 it’s almost been the best weather all year this week. What a great way to get her used to the climate.

Here she is looking positively tropical on her outdoor bed!

When I got back I crossed lots of things off my list.

Called to reschedule my Breast Screening Clinic appointment which is the day before we go on holiday, right in the middle of the day and in the opposite direction to work! I changed it to the same day at 9am so at least I’m not out of work for a huge chunk of the day.

I hung out the washing.

I sorted all the stuff that I took out of Abbie the Campervan and decided what will go back into Bertie Beeetle…. Which is precious little to be fair 😂😂 tried to find a home for the rest.

I picked up my HRT prescription, ordered in the nick of time as I’d used my last patch.

I posted jeans I sold on Vinted.

I went to the little gift shop to see Gayle and bought ANOTHER Christmas present.

Who actually am I these days?!?

I went to Tesco and did a food shopping to cover the weekend.

Spectrum Windows came to have a look at the patio doors at the back of the house as the locks are being temperamental.

Craig came home at lunchtime and suggested Mocha Jak’s with Khaleesi. Now I should say that I bought plenty for lunch but I am NEVER gonna say not to a coffee shop!! Also think that he likes the fact that Khaleesi was found at a coffee shop. (

Actually I’ll do a link to his FB post from yesterday, telling her story)

Khaleesi of the Unbreakable Spirit – Scottish Dog Behaviourist

I ordered a halloumi and pesto salad bowl. I am OBSESSED with salad. I also ordered a Strawberry cream brownie. 😋

Oh my actual word it was exquisite and I only managed a tiny bite sized piece and brought the rest home. My stomach has shrunk!!

Phew, as I write that down I feel quite justified for sitting out in the sunshine. It’s still only 4pm. The day is yet young.

Have a great weekend y’all!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1245 another whirlwind of a day but Khaleesi is home ♥️

What a day. I am shattered!!

I was up at 5.20am. Showered, lunch made and out with the dogs by 5.45

A last pose in the garden before 3 became 4.

Holly next door kindly let them out mid morning and Craig was home with Khaleesi by 12.30pm. He made great time having left at 5am.

Work was crazy busy. The sun brought everyone out. At one point we had 4 lots of people waiting to speak to someone. I sat down outside for lunch and was interrupted twice! Don’t get me wrong, that’s what we’re there for, I’m not complaining it was just THAT busy.

So virtually no work done today other than to add to the list of things to be done.

In the background…..

I’ve almost run out of HRT meds so had to call the doc re a repeat prescription
The company I’m buying the car from hasn’t sent through the paperwork so I had to chase that
When they did send it through they then chased me twice to sign it, don’t they know how busy I was!!?
When I finally tried to sign it a bit wasn’t right so had to get them to change it
They chased for the payment again
Then I had to try and change my existing van insurance over to the car and their system was done so I had to call back
All the while Craig is travelling home with Khaleesi and sending me photos and videos of their progress

As I said, what a day!

We are all out in the garden, it’s been a scorcher!!

We are watching the dogs find their way around each other. Here I am saying hello.

Calaidh and Khaleesi are starting to play together. Bhru and Freya are more wary but that will come.

She loves Craig!

He’s been working relentlessly with the 4 of them. Integration into a pack of 3 has to be managed.

So not as relaxed an evening as it could be but I’m managing things way better than I would have in the past. I’m letting things wash over me in a way that makes me very proud. Despite the chaos of the day, I’ve laughed at it and things have fallen into place.

I love the calm when it comes to stay.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1244 a very early rise, dog walks, shopping and lunch with Gayle

Another busy but lovely day off. Craig actually had to wake me and ask me to roll over last night which suggests I may have been snoring?!?

Moi?!?! 😳

Couldn’t possibly be true.

His alarm went off at 5am. I knew I wouldn’t get back to sleep so got up about 5.30 and made coffee. The grindy bean kind ☕️

We sat and chatted for an hour or so then Craig set off bound for Potters Bar, north of London.

It’s a long drive.

He was meant to be meeting Tito The Transpawter between 3 and 5pm so he had to be down there for 3pm, just in case, which he was.

Unfortunately, due to delays in France, they didn’t make the ferry, from France, until 3pm so they are now meeting at 8.30pm.

Thankfully Craig has checked in to a hotel so he was able to get some rest and a shower. It does mean he’ll have to drive home in Monday morning traffic.

On the plus side, it gives him time to spend with Khaleesi as she’s been travelling since Friday morning. Poor little poppet. I feel so sad when I think what she’s going through. We have to make her stay here extra special for the next few days to make up for it. Here he is saying goodbye to the pups!

I set off with hoddit, doddit and ploddit at 7am when Craig left.

Love this tree 🌲

Something serious to sniff here!

It’s much cooler than yesterday.

Bhru looking for sheep 🐑 😂

Lots of cows this morning instead! Finding cows instead!

Gateside village was looking lovely in the sun this morning.

I really loved this next shot.

In our excitement leaving the house this morning, I had forgotten poo bags…. I had to retrace my steps to pick up two poos… not a lovely subject but important to say that I did retrace my steps when I’d forgotten to take them with me!

We passed this next field twice this morning and it’s never cut for silage…. It has been this year. This is about 500yards from the back of our house. I did wonder what the noise was yesterday…. They must have been cutting this field.

I did two loads of washing and hung it up and got showered and ready to head to Braehead Shopping Centre with Gayle.

I forgot to get a pic of us!

We tried on lots of trousers in M&S! I didn’t buy any of them.

It’s fun trying them on though!

We had a lovely lunch in Starbucks and a good wander around the shops until we both hit a wall. I was shattered.

Oh I got some magnesium for my aches and pains. The really helpful guy in Holland & Barrett said it would start working in a couple of days. Fingers crossed as I feel really stiff and sore just now… probably lack of exercise, I know!

When I got home I took the dogs up the hill to the field for a big run about.

That back fired as the farmer was hay baking…

They only got one big run and I had to put them straight back on the lead. Was fascinating to be so close to the baler though.

Since then I’ve made a lovely salad for dinner, thrown balls for the dogs in the back garden and read a magazine that Holly next door gave me.

I’m determined to stay awake to see that Craig has Khaleesi.

Exciting times!

I need to get a lift to work tomorrow as I’m van-less and car-less and husband-less in the morning. I need to be up and out with the dogs and potentially starting work by 7am. I might be asleep at my desk by 11 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1243 back down to earth with housework and decking staining

It’s 3pm and I have hit a wall….. I’ve been on the go since 7am with dog walks, housework and decking staining.

To be fair I also did it all while I was fasting so I think I got a wee bit too weak and had to stop for some food. That was an hour ago and I’m only just starting to feel a bit stronger now.

It is a BEAUTIFUL day up here today. It’s calm and sunny.

Only a gentle breeze… and as I say that the sun goes behind a cloud 😂

This is a fairly mundane day compared to all the excitement of yesterday.

Khaleesi is still travelling up through Spain and France. She should be in the UK sometime late afternoon tomorrow.

Tito The Transpawter said his wife wanted to keep her because she was such a sweet girl. I think she stayed at his house overnight.

So this is me off out with the OG trio this morning.

Every time I take the phone out, Freya turns round to say hi.

There was even a big of a dog jog today! Been a while.

Freya looking back at me, is quite a new thing. It makes me smile. It’s like she’s checking up on me! 🫶🏼

As I blitz the house, these 3 seem to be on canoe guard duty.

I go to hang washing out and they are still at it, just facing down the garden! 😂

By 11.30 I can put it off no longer. Craig bought the decking stain and pads…. It seems unfair to leave it for him finishing work, when he has so much on this weekend.

I officially hate staining decking.

I am so sore by the time I finish it. I am only 50 and 3/4 and everything hurts, way more than I think it should.

I have another full coat today that I can start in precisely 25 minutes. The price I pay for a wonderful day yesterday. 😂

It really does look so good though and I’m so proud of myself for doing it.

Craig comes home to find me lying flat out on the grass, trying to stretch my aching muscles. His jokes about the second coat almost result in World War III.

To be fair to him he left a perfectly happy wife at home and had no idea he was returning to the she-devil from hell.

I laughed at that. I’m prone to exaggeration for comedic effect. He may beg to differ.

I’m now in a deckchair counting the minutes until I can relax. I’m not one of those people that can just leave it until tomorrow. I need the decking staining out of my life for good. As soon as. 😂

It’s 5.36pm and I am done.

The second coat was easier as “Mr Here’s How You Should Have Been Doing It” saved the day. A lot more decking oil and a lot less scrubbing. He did save the day but why does that annoy me so much?! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’ve learned another lesson today. Stay well out of my way when I’m doing a job I don’t want to do. Simples. 😂

Ok so I’m still a work in progress and there are things I could do better at. I will try to remember “Mrs Sweetness and Light” the next time I’m exhausted doing something I don’t want to do. The fact that I know I’m the one in the wrong is a very good start. 😂

I’m going to celebrate with a frozen bottle of Nozeco as someone put it in the freezer…. 😬 it’s actually really lovely but the pic was more about the decking.

I am pretty damn proud of myself for doing all that, even if every part of me aches!

And relax.

Khaleesi is now in French France 🇫🇷 and was out for a walk on a beach. She was a good girl and got back in her bed for the next part of the trip. I just snapshot this from a video Tito sent.

Craig is away at very, very early o’clock in the morning so we’ll definitely be having an early night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1242 1st September 2023 and it’s all go in a life changing kind of way today!

Some days just sail on by and some days make their mark with some real life changing decisions.

Today is one of those days. 1st September 2023 (can’t actually believe it’s September).

So Abbie the Campervan is sold. There were tears this morning as I realised I can’t get to work on Monday as Craig is away so figured I’d have to hire a car for a week.

My anxiety was on overdrive as Craig was helping me look for a car and all I heard was “what do you want what do you want what do you want what do you want it depends what you want!” That is certainly not what he really said. My head is screaming I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!!

I had my heart set on a Caddy so that I could make it into a Campervan and “keep my camping oar in” as it were.

Craig told me last week that wasn’t the best idea but I was adamant. It’s only since last night that I clicked that a car was really what I needed, but what kind?!?

Decisions, decisions. When you suffer from anxiety these are not exciting times, not fun decisions to be making. Your head doesn’t think straight it makes lots of noise and panic and doomsday scenarios. Really it just needs to calm the f down and start thinking straight.

I love that in the midst of all this drama I actually found the perfect car before 8.30am. The garage called at 8.40. They will deliver. One years’ warranty.

Meet Bertie the Beetle!

I’m not sure that I ever was a namer of cars and yet here I am, naming another car. 🙋🏻‍♀️

I had a VW Beetle before I got Abbie the Campervan so I know it’s a great drive. Although she’s called Bertie, I’m not sure my car will ever be a boy 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂😂 anything goes these days!

Here’s my old one.

So in other HUGE news …..

You may need to sit down……

As if we don’t have enough dogs already… we are getting another dog.

There. I said it. It’s out there.

This is Khaleesi….. and Craig first met her when he was out in Spain to look after her and 4 other dogs.

She was a rescue and was badly injured and walks with a limp. Jo, her owner, took her on and loved her back to health. Jo is moving back to the UK and her lifestyle does not suit Khaleesi’s injuries so she is heartbroken at having to re home her.

Craig messaged me about a month ago when Jo asked someone to take her.

I agreed that he could message her, as a back up, as he loved her so much. I didn’t think for one minute that Jo would want her to leave Spain.

Within an hour of his initial message to me… Khaleesi was coming to Scotland!!! 😳

Craig is so excited about having her. I knew he thought she was very special. She can’t get a lot of exercise due to her injuries the poor wee soul. I can’t wait to meet her and have lots of cuddles.

I told Craig I will still have to be able to get out and do my travels and he’s said that was ok.

Deal.

She left Spain this morning with Tito The Transpawter…. About exactly the same time I put down a deposit on Bertie. It’s all happening.

And the days does not end there my lovelies…. 😂

I took Bhru and Freya for a walk and then had a photoshoot with the 3 OG puppers.

Craig has pressure washed all of the grass and decking ready for Khaleesi’s arrival. It’s looking amazing.

We just need to stain the decking but it didn’t dry enough today.

It’s not even 11am by this time.

I went out for lunch with Crochet Hooker Evelyn as a 50th birthday treat!! Still milking that 2 months before my 51st 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Had a lovely lunch at Mocha JaK’s and great chats. Forgot to take a pic but did take my lunch. Avocado Stack. Yum. Thanks Evelyn!

She dropped me at The little gift shop as I was going to treat myself to a new bag for my holidays. I had a great chat with Gayle AND…… started my Christmas shopping!!!!!!!

Me.

Christmas shopping in September?!?!

Who even am I anymore?!?

She who scoffs at anyone who buys a Christmas gift before November!!

I walked back up the road and the only negative of the day is that my bunion is gowping.

Awfy sore body part. 😪

So, I’m walking home and Craig’s car drives past me…. With a canoe on his roof.

As you do.

😵‍💫

To be fair he had been out canoeing with our friend Euan… I just did not expect him to come home with one. 🛶

What’s this mum?!?!

Nothing surprises me anymore! 😬

Except that then I found out that I’ve won a Body Shop advent calendar as my friend Gemma ran a prize draw on her a Body Shop page.

What a day!!!!

I don’t think I can even keep up with my life just now.

Abbie the Campervan is parked up until maybe the end of September before she can be collected. By tonight I will have enough money for my new car…. All from a lovely lady who hasn’t even seen the van yet. I was terrified that I couldn’t sell the van and I found someone just like me, to buy her.

This has taken me way too long to write so I’m going to relax after all this excitement.

Have a great weekend!

Phew!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️