I have finally captured photos of the Northern Lights. Bucket list item ā
I was annoyed with myself as I didnāt want to go out in the coldā¦. I had messaged the Crochet Hookers group chat and said that I just needed it to come to the back garden.
And it did.
Now itās not the brightest and it wasnāt that visible to the naked eyeā¦ but it was amazing and Iāve seen it!!
I put on my big girl pants on and went down to Kilbirnie Loch, by myself, in the dark!! I was a wee bit scared but the moon is so bright that I could see quite well once my eyes adjusted.
It still wasnāt that visible without the phone. I could just about make it out without itā¦ but you wouldnāt know without having seen it through a phone first, if that makes sense.
The moon was so bright that it was just as pretty! (I have to say it was way darker than these photos make outā¦)
Looking over toward Beith.
This next one has the train moving in the distanceā¦ that straight line of lightsā¦ love the reflection of it in the water too.
Then someone turns up and shines their headlights right on meā¦.. I was scared they arrived but they must have been terrified when they saw me lurking in the shadows!
Thereās my shadow in the middle!
Oh I am buzzing. Honestly so chuffed with myself. Got the village running about daft too!
Think thatās the best of them. There are loads more but theyāre very faint.
Always look to nature to give you that natural buzz.
It was such a heavy frost this morningā¦. -4Ā°C when I left for the little gift shop. It was so cold but a beautiful, clear sky day.
I actually had a lie in until 8am. Canāt remember the last time I managed that. Turns out Craig was up with Calaidh at 2.30amā¦.
I heard nothing!
She was barking and he shouted at her a couple of times to go back to bed , WHILE LYING RIGHT BESIDE MEā¦.. nothing. That amazes me.
This was the view out the window when I woke up. Ignore the scabby sky dish!
Khaleesi enjoyed her first hard frostā¦. Think sheās jumping up thinking jeezo this is baltic!!
The little gift shop was really busy and I came back up the road for a bowl of soup in front of the wood burning stoveā¦ all sounds super cosy as lovely doesnāt it! š thereās 4 excited dogs bounding around in the midst of all that!
When Craig came home from work, we headed back to Largs for fish and chips The Fish Works in Largs. Yes I had just eaten but I wasnāt missing this for anything.
When Craig asks me what I want to doā¦ I ALWAYS suggest thisā¦ but he drives every day with work so doesnāt want to go back out. Iām so chuffed he wanted to go today and we had a lovely fish and chips!!
Largs is so different from yesterdayā¦. So still and calm.
There are no photos of the restaurant, or their foodā¦. We ate outside and you have to be very careful with the seagulls!!
The fish and chips really are exceptional. I had lemon sole and Craig had battered king prawns š¤ (who knew there was a prawn emoji?!?)
Itās not like a standard chippy and nothing is greasy. I canāt recommend it enough!
We went for a wee walk after the food. So I could take some photosā¦ obviously!
I should say itās only 3.30pm!
It was just beautiful!
Speaking of beautifulā¦. The Aurora is just kicking off in the UK tonightā¦. How much do I actually want to see it though, I canāt bring myself to get wrapped back up and get out there. I want it to come to my back garden to save me the bother! Still way too much light pollution for thatā¦.
On the way back from Largs I got my trusty Co-pilot to take photos of the moon as it was massive and so low in the sky.
I commented that it looked like we were on Tattooine. (Star Wars!)
He was awfy proud of me!! Star Wars wife!
You can just about see it above the trees on this photo. Iād have obviously got a better shot than this but I take that I can get šššš
We went into the pub for a couple when we got home. I had 0% Whitley Neil raspberry āginā. Very nice.
This was the moon when I walked the 10 steps back to the house. You can see the frost on the roof too.
Have a lovely Saturday evening!
Iām kayaking with Lindsay in the morning and I am beyond excited. I have ALWAYS wanted to learn to kayak. š¶ Iām hoping this will open up a whole new world on the water.
Up at 6.30 to head over to Largs for my eye test at 8.30am. I booked the early morning one so that I could make the most of my day.
It was much more windy and choppy than I expected. It was also freezing!! The sunrise was lovely though.
Marvelled at how close these churches are.
My eye test at Specsavers went well. My prescription has only changed by one point so I donāt need to change my glasses just yet. I did go for a cheap pair of reading glasses, in the new prescription, for more intense reading, but my varifocals will do me just fine just now.
They did find a new freckle at the back of my right eye.
Who knew that was a thing?
They sent me back for a second āback of the eyeā photo, so they could catch it specifically. The guy got a great capture of it.
I need to go back in 3 months for the same again so they can monitor the size of it. Any growth is bad.
I got out at 9.20am and found that hardly any of the shops were open.
I went into Costa Coffee and had a peppermint tea (who actually does that?!?) to heat up and use the looā¦. Not necessarily in that order!!
I then had a wander around the charity shops. I found River Island jeans and a Fat Face top for Ā£11 in total in the British Heart Foundation Charity shop.
I commented that they have some really lovely things in the Largs BHF shopā¦ the lady told me they only put out the best of everything and try to display the brands as much as possible, in that particular store. I was really impressed with everything they had today.
I took more photos as I headed back to the car.
Next stop, Tesco, for a food shopping and came home and put it all away. Played with the dogs out the back, loaded the dishwasher, put away dry washing and put on a new load.
Then I took the two Calāsā¦. Calaidh and Khaleesi out for a walk. It was beautiful but cold!
Khaleesi has lots of fun off the lead. I donāt keep her off for long.
You need to be standing steady when you shout comeā¦.. when she comes, she comesā¦. Wallop!!!!!
Craig was home by the time I got back. He still had work to do, so I set off out with a Freya and Bhru.
Itās already getting dark.
The same road on two separate dog walks.
The same tree at 3 separate times today.
The moon is massive.
Itās been a lovely day. I also fasted for just over 22 hours today which was a lot but I needed a wee fat burn after all the junk Iāve been eating since the weather turned colder.
Oh I also made more soup today which is really good again, great to break a fast with.
So yeah, a productive day off work!
Lovely to see sunrise and sunset. Itās the best part of this time of the year.
I have nothing much to say todayā¦. So here I ago, about to wax lyrical for hours like the last time I said I had nothing to say!!
I want to discuss this today as it was posted by Ayrshire Counselling and Cognitive Behavious Therapy. I attended 18 sessions of CBT with them back in the end of 2019. It was game changer for me.
People pleasingā¦.
This is the crux of everything that went wrong in my life.
I had mastered the art of trying to keep everyone happy. (Those who know me now, might raise an eyebrow at this, thinking eh naw, but itās how I negotiated my way through life).
If I keep them happy, they wonāt turn on me.
A people pleaser wants everyone to be happy, wants everyone to like them and wants to keep everyone sweet for precisely that reason. If we are kind to everyone and put them before ourselves, then life will be easy.
I lived by this for 46 years.
I always had a difficult relationship with the boss figure in my life. From the girl in 1995 who would turn to me in a factory wide meeting and ask why I hadnāt ordered a specific part to the man in 2018 who bellowed at me, in a meeting ādonāt think you lot are getting away with it as youāre just as bad as all these restāā¦. I made it my life work to befriend these people. To ask about their families, their weekend, enthuse over their holiday, their new car, their childrenā¦. Blah blah blahā¦. To let them see how nice I could be so they wouldnāt shout at me for anything. they still shouted, they still got angry, they still looked disappointed. That broke little parts of me off piece by piece.
I hate to disappoint anyone.
Detest people being upset with me.
Really struggle with it.
I canāt cope when they āturn on meā especially when I have made a ridiculous effort to try to make them happy.
I did everything to everyone else.
I tried to be in work earlier than everyone else.
I tried to stay later than everyone else.
I needed to be seen to be dependableā¦. Irreplaceableā¦. The golden girl.
I canāt keep it up.
I start to cry every time something goes wrong. Thereās nothing much left inside of me to break. Iāve broken myself completely.
The day I walked out of the office, blinded by tears, changed my life.
In my head I let EVERYONE down.
I was an embarrassment. I couldnāt cope. People who had relied on me for years, disappeared off the face of the earth.
I guess no one had a clue what to say.
We all knew that no one ever came back from this. My career was over.
The people I spent most of my waking life with, moved on, without me.
Itās taken me years to come to terms with all this and to learn to be truly grateful for what I went through.
I get to choose now. I allow myself to be happy above all else. I struggle to do anything that doesnāt sit right with me now. I have very clear boundaries in place.
Itās taken years of counselling and CBT, Health Kinesiology, staying off the booze and journaling in this blog to help me get to this stage.
I donāt think it enough but Iām so proud of who I am now. despite the little crazy, anxious interludes.
Maybe I need to start doing the dance of life ššā„ļø told you if wax lyricalā¦. š¤¦š»āāļøš
Wow I had a a AMAZING sleep. I was really out for the count until 1.22am when there was a snore incident and someone tapped me on the foreheadā¦.. oh my god what a fright. As I write this I realise I forgot to ask what happened.
I got up and went to the loo and by the time I came back, said someone was snoring so I lay there wondering if it was more likely his snore that woke me?!?
Hmmmm it would appear notā¦ I just asked. I do think it was all a bit over dramatic if Iām honest, work me up from the best ever sleep. š just wait till the next time Iām woken up šš
I couldnāt wake up with the alarm at allā¦ i was soooo tired.
That said, what a beautiful morning š I wish I could have taken a few hours off work and stopped all along the way to take photos. The sky was stripey red and orange all the way to work. Every bend I drove around brought a new wow moment.
By the time I got to work it had mostly passedā¦.. although the photos turned out better than I thought.
Itās been a good day. Iāve been super busy, so a bit harrassed, it felt like everyone asked me for things I hadnāt done yet. I ended up staying an extra half hour today. It could so easily have been longer but thatās a trap I can so easily fall into.
So not much else to report today. Iāve been calm and not irritable at all which is nice.
Oh Craig made a lovely venison spaghetti bolgnese for dinner.
It was so lovely to come home to a cosy house, with fires lit and dinner readyā¦.. I never made it out to Kinisi-floā¦. I was too full!
Was up at 1.22 for the loo and had to take painkillers for my knee. Amazing how quickly a dog walk hurts it again.
Slept until just after 6am which was great. I felt refreshed and my kneeās not been sore all day.
So after all the festivities and excitement, todayās been a fairly regular kind of dayā¦. But this is ok.
I was actually really focussed at work and got lots doneā¦ I even cleared out the catalogue cupboard which has been a mess for ages. I bloody love that šš
Not a great photo as the foreground at work is nothing special, but there was a lovely sunset before 4pm.
The photo didnāt do it justice.
I went straight to Tesco tonight and did a food shopā¦. Came home and put all of it away and made a lovely salad in my Tupperware tub. I donāt feel Iāve had many salads since I was in Turkey.
I love that I have to eat it out the tub!!
Iāve got one made up for lunch tomorrow too. It was really tasty. Salami, olives, feta, sundried tomatoes on baby leaf salad with rocket. I love rocket!!
I then tidied the kitchen, againā¦. Seems a never ending thankless task, put a washing on and loaded the dishwasher.
Then I went through my drawers and wardrobe and tidied everything upā¦. Dark clothes on yellow hangers, light clothes on black hangersā¦. Thereās an OCD coming out in me there. A black T-shirt on a black hanger is just wrong. š
So Iāve finally sat down and it feels very nice to relax.
I slept like a log again last night but woke at 6.30am. I was thinking about work this week which is rubbish at that time on a Sundayā¦.. so I got up with the dogs and brought them downstairs.
I tidied the kitchen and emptied all the recycling down in the bins at the bottom of the garden.
When Craig got up we had our fancy coffee bean coffee and watched a YouTube video of a guy travelling around Tiree. It was lovely to see all the places we had been last year.
We finally got started on the last coat in the sunroom at 9.30amā¦.. Iām a morning person, Iād have been painting from 7am given half the chance, to get it over with š
Itās finishedā¦ obviously still a bit empty at the moment until we can get everything back in. The floor is wet after mopping.
Craig had bought some UPVC cleaner and oh my god, it was the best thing ever. I think Iām marvelling at the window plastic, more than I am at the newly painted room. It looks like we have new windows.
Weāre both ashamed that we donāt look after the house better, at times. To be fair, we have 4 dogs so we donāt stand much of a chanceā¦ but it was lovely to see how white the window frames are, I just looked at them again thereā¦. Wow. Itās a game changer!!
I took the dogs out, two separate walksā¦
Iāve been sitting here for a whileā¦.
Itās getting darker and now the window frames are so reflective, they look orange !!
Honestly, if you want to improve your mood, put a bit of effort in to some housework. I can honestly say it makes me feel so happy!!! I canāt stop looking at it.
I get really overwhelmed by mess and dirtā¦. Who knew it was so easy to eradicateā¦ just by cleaning! ššš
I had to get up and get showered to remove all traces of paint and weāve been in the pub for wee Rachelās 14th birthday party.
Had more cake and loads of nibbles. Lovely to catch up with everyone. Heading home now!
Just milking that birthday thing. When I was a kid I used to be so sad on the 18th November as that meant my birthday was over.
Not so now, obviouslyā¦.. as āshe who tries to line in the present momentā is fully aware that life is about the here and now and not focussed on the past or the future. Today is just as important as what happened yesterday.
So that all said, Iāve had another lovely day.
I slept like a log. I felt like I was asleep all night. I love a good sleep like that.
Calaidh didnāt want me to leave!
I was in the little gift shop this morning and then drove straight up the road and picked Claire up to go out for lunch to Mocha Jakās.
I had a lovely halloumi and pesto salad. Itās been ages since I had salad.
And oopsie there may have been a chocolate milkshakeā¦..
I never have a milkshake! I always have coffee but Iād had 3 coffees in the morning. it was really lovely.
Claire bought us cakes to take home and I seem to be strangling myself with my bag.
I have barely taken my hat off since I got it for my birthday!
On the way home we passed Craig in the pouring rain walking the dogs!! He got soaked.
I got this photo when they came homeā¦. AFTER I cleaned the walls and the floorā¦.
Posing in their dog robes!
Iāve had a lovely few days, we might be back to the decorating tomorrow as the weather is still meant for be bad. Itās POURED all day today.
Donna Ashworth hits the nail on the head againā¦. This is meā¦.
This is also meā¦.
So just because Donna Ashworth says itās okā¦ Iāll leave you with some more photos from yesterday. š¬š and I wonder why I have stiff shoulders today š¤¦š»āāļøš
Hope you all have a great Saturday night. Iāve not been irritated ALL dayā¦. Itās great. Sure Craig thinks so too!
Itās 4pm and I have had the loveliest day so far.
There have been tears.
Shocker.
Iāve had a lot of anxiety about my birthdayā¦ wanting it to be different and yet not knowing what I wanted to do. After weeks of discussion Craig finally came up with perfect dayā¦. As he does often, to snap me out of my anxious thoughts.
Awake at 5.50ā¦. Not the plan.
Presents by 8am.
Iāve been overwhelmed with the lovely gifts Iāve received.
Also the lovely cards and words that I have from people.
We headed down to The Little Coffee Caravanā¦.. I have not been there in so long. They remembered me, we had such a good chat and Donna asked me if Iād lost weight!! Amazing customer service. We bought filled rolls and cake to take canoeing š¶ this morning.
We went to Castle Semple Loch in Lochwinnoch this time. What an amazing morning.
I could write war and peace about my day but actually I want to go and get ready for dinner as weāre heading back out to Gro Coffee for dinnerā¦ Iāll have been there twice in one week but I do love it.
So Iāll just dump a whole lot of shots.
Thanks to everyone for everything. When you fee your life hangs by a thread of emotions at times, precious sentiment and moments mean the world.
Oh and thanks to Lindsay and Euan for lending us the canoe again!
Itās my Friday night, woo hoo, 3 day weekend coming.
I didnāt feel anywhere near as angry today. Iām still very pass remarkable but none of that irritability I had at the start of the week. Thankfully.
The day passed really quickly but Iām all set for the weekend. Iām helping Gayle in the little gift shop tonight as she has her first VIP Christmas shopping night. Iām really looking forward to it.
šš š¼š¤¶š¼š
Gemma from work brought me in a lovely early birthday cupcake and Sloth T-shirt!!
The icing was strawberries and cream, it was beautiful!!
Hereās my lovely t shirt! How lovely was that l?! I was very touched. I didnāt even know she would know itās my birthday.
I got a cuddle from her wee boy for the first time since he was a baby. š that was so sweet.
We have a tradition at Tartan Campers that we make birthday cards! Iād said to Ellison this week not to make one for me as I knew she was bisyā¦ but she didā¦I got this lovely card which all the guys at work signed. She just knows me so wellā¦ this is perfect! Sheās made some for the other guys this month and they are so good!
Itās a Hope Blamire painting in the middle!
So I have to go and get out the Tartan workwear and get into a Christmas jumper ready for tonight.
I slept like a log last nightā¦. All that decaf coffee and good chat must have done me the power of good!
I felt much better when I woke up this morning. Like a weight had been lifted.
It was a lovely drive to workā¦ dry for the first time in daysā¦ I barely had the wipers on.
The rain started pretty soon after I got into the office.
So I was a lot better today but still shoot into orbit when something (that is my jobā¦) is added to my list.
On the plus side I did come up with a couple of processes to try to limit the ad hoc requests. My memory isnāt what it used to be, I am forgetting things so it needs to be written down and tracked somehow. maybe then I can put some control into the ad-hocā¦.
I took a photo of Granās Christmas cactus this morningā¦. Itās in full bloom a good few weeks early. š
Itās really pretty. Mum and dad say their cutting is pink but mine is very pale pink.
I also thought it would make you smile to see the dogs in their room last night. Not sure if I said but Khaleesi has been sleeping in with the three pup-sketeers now for well over a week now.
For some reason I feel the need to wrap her upā¦.. I scoff at my mother in law for molly-coddling her Chihuahuaā¦. And here I amā¦.
Sheās from Spain, she needs to be warm!!
Freya took a leaf to bed with her last night. Anyone who knows Freya will know that she always has to pick something up in her mouth before she does anything exciting š¤¦š»āāļøš
Calaidh seems to be under her blanket rather than on itā¦
And Bhru just lies on a big pillow as she prefers to stretch out.
She looks at me with a withering lookā¦. More photos?!?!
So yeahā¦ a bit better day today. Need to work on it again tomorrow. At least I had less people to apologise to today so something was better.
This. Is. Me. Full. Stop.
I couldnāt have written that better myself. I canāt focus with any noise in the background, whatsoever. I hate any clothes being too tight, jaggy or itchy, I detest strong perfume or any loud, noisy-for-noisy-sake āmusicāā¦ I canāt even call it music. I donāt work well under pressure as my mind panics and thatās when I snap. I need to be prepared as anything dropped in my lap becomes like s ticking time bomb that detonates within seconds!
And relaxā¦.. off to crochet tonight where I may even crochet the odd granny square!
Oooh Iāve been a ratbag today. Iāve been so rattyā¦ I donāt know why, but Iām snapping at everyone and everything thatās not going my way.
I know Iām better than this.
I donāt want to be that personā¦. I just feel a bit meh just now. This is the week of my birthday and I usual count down the days in November. Not so much this year. I cannot believe itās a year since my 50th!! Where has the year gone?!
Listen to me sounding all Eyoreā¦
Iām sorry. I want to be full of sweetness and light. Iām not living in wonder at the present moment, Iām just just a bit flat.
I went round to the beach while I waited to meet Andrena and Linda for dinner at Gro Coffee. Itās dark and mean and moodyā¦. The sky is full of passing rain showers. The Isle of Arran invisible behind the clouds.
Gro looks lovely in the dark with all of its lovely lights. Very inviting.
I came in early and itās such a lovely space and it was cold and dark in the car. This was a very good idea. Iāve ordered a decaf coconut milk latte.
There are good tunes playing and itās immediately lifted my mood. Iām excited to catch up with the girls and hear all about the Fit z body Farm.
I guess we canāt all be happy and full of the joys of spring (š¤·š»āāļø) every day.
The key is how you manage the less happy days. Being aware is half the battle. Iāve been apologising to everyone all day. š„ŗš¬ One day I hope I will be able to keep calm and not get flustered. I have set myself high goals eh?!
Spending time in a lovely place with lovely friends is always going to help lift your mood.
We had a lovely wee catch up and the loveliest food.
We shared a Cajun chicken pizza, buttermilk chicken strips with BBQ and Siracha sauce, bread and oils and Caprese salad.
Gro Coffee is just so pretty.
This is really blurry but I had to get a cake for Craigie! I didnāt have one as I couldnāt have fitted anymore in. š
It was a lovely evening with lovely people who are good for my soul!!
Iām also hoping thereās some cake left over for tomorrowā¦. š
What a downpour of a day. It was such a scary drive into work again today. I seem to be a big girls blouse in that torrential rain these days but thank goodness Iām driving Bertie the Beetle now.
It was a mean and moody Monday.
Weāve been trying to get prescriptions for Khaleesiās pain meds from our Vet and they called me at work today to say they had to get clear kidney function tests before they would give us a prescription. Ā£164 they said.
They had to be done today or tomorrow so I came home from work, let the dogs out, fed them, made sure Khaleesi had peeād and pooād, ate some lasagne and back out to the vet without remembering to go to the toilet myself. š¤¦š»āāļøš
She was such a good girl at the vet.
They told me they would take her through the back for the tests and could be up to 25 minutes. They would need to shave her and maybe in a couple of places, in order to get the bloodsā¦
5 minutes later sheās back out. A very good girl, all done and no shaved bits at all. We sat to wait on results.
She got a bit bored waiting on resultsā¦.
By the way, the white paint on her tail is from the sunroomā¦ šš
45 minutes later and TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN POUNDS and FIFTY PENCE down.
How can that even be possible? Iād joked with Craigās that 5 mins of blood tests vs the forecasted 25 must be cheaperā¦. Yeah right.
I actually sound really down in my wiring today and Iām not really, least I donāt mean to be.
I feel a bit flat today and it just felt a bit unfair having to pay so much money to be told your dog is fit enough to have the meds that she needs to reduce her pain. As I write that, I guess you wouldnāt want anyone to prescribe something that would hurt your dog.
The meds are SO much cheaper on line than they are from the vetā¦.. so much cheaperā¦. but you need to pay Ā£30 for a prescription to get them cheaper on line. That prescription will only last 6 months.
We had no idea when we got up today that we would decorate the sunroomā¦. Yet here we are.
These are the before pics.
Actually I look at the photos and it looks fine but any room with an open fire or stoveā¦ and 4 dogs living in itā¦. Is always going to need a refreshā¦.
I should put it out here and say that if anyone loves me enough to decorate my house for free, then that will be gratefully received. ššš itās not my favourite pastime.
It was super frosty outside and I painted in bare feet. My feet were FUREEEEEZING!!!
Here we are after a couple of coats. It still needs one more we reckon but I lost the will to live š
It reminds me of how the room looked when we first moved in as it was all white then. Itās so much wider now that is not green!
We painted all morning and then had some homemade soup that I made late last night. It is a good pot this time around. It worked well. Still Ellisonās recipe. š
I then, of course, had to tidy up the house as my brain wonāt allow me to live in a complete mess for any length of time.
I love that quote. Itās so true for me. I get all antsy when the place is a mess.
I bought another new duvet cover, which seems decadent but honestly I love the new sheets. This is the same as the last one, just a different colour.
I think this one looks really brightā¦ and more importantly it doesnāt have any dog hair on it woo hoo!!
I then had a shower as I need to be clean for clean bed. š so many rules in my head.
Then we took the 4 dogs out.
We headed into the pub next door when we got back. I had two 0% Gordonās Pink Gin and slimline tonic. We had a catch up with Rachel two doors down. š
Craigās also made lasagne for dinner tonight and Iām soooo looking forward to it!!
Itās been another lovely weekend, memories made, plenty of relaxing and getting things done around the house. ā ā ā
This is your Sunday evening reminder that you can take everything life throws at you this week.
As my friend Ruth always says, youāve survived 100% of days so farā¦. š
I went to visit Beithās remembrance memorial this morning. I took my breath away.
A lovely lady in Beith made all of these. I canāt tell you how lovely it is to spend some time among them and I probably thought more of Remembrance Day than I ever have. It made everything seem so much more real.
I think this one is my favourite out of them all.
Sadly one of them is no longer there. Either stolen by people or I prefer to think, foxes.
Itās a super frosty and cold morning but as the sun rises, itās calm and thereās a warmth in the sun. Itās a very poignant tribute.
Beith Auld Kirk as a beautiful building in its own right.
I had already been out with the 3 OG puppers as soon as it got light this morning.
Itās still quite icy at this time of the morning, I donāt know if you can see it in the photo. The sky was stunning and full of promise for a sunny day.
I went to the little gift shop today to help Gayle plan for some of the Christmas events sheās doing this year. Sheās changed the shop since last week!
It just smells so lovely.
By the time I got home it was about 1.30 and Iād planned loads of housework.
The sun is so lovely I felt like I should do something outside and yet i donāt want to shut the dogs back in againā¦. So Iām outside and lit my very own fire pitā¦ Iām sitting here by myselfā¦ if you are ever by yourself with 4 dogā¦.. and Iām enjoying the sunshine with the extra heat of a wee bonfire. Itās just bliss.
It was a wee bit smokey to start with but only because the stuff in the bottom is still wetā¦. Note from Craig for future reference.
Oh I must see if I can link the Scottish Dog Behaviourist YouTube page as heās posted a video of Khaleesi on a lovely walk the other day. Itās so cute. Heās so good at creating video content. I could watch this for daysā¦ here goes. Khaleesi at Loch Shore.
Fingers crossed that works!
Iām just sitting here listening to old tunes on Spotify, adding wood to the fire as we go.
Had a lovely chat with my mother in law there and now Craigās home!
A super frosty, foggy early start this morning, catching the train to Edinburgh to meet Mum and Dad for the day.
Itās 8.51pm and Iām already north of Glasgow on the train. The freezing fog still hasnāt lifted. Itās like pea soup. š
Iām half an hour early I think, but I booked my ticket through Trainline. Last time I travelled to Edinburgh it was Ā£41. This time it was Ā£25.90 because I booked in advance. I also upgraded to allow me to take any train today. I think that was an extra Ā£3 or so. It was well worth itā¦ hence the being half an hour early.
And just like that the sun burns through the fog just outside Falkirk. If you zoom in you can see a bank of fog in the distance. Itās going to be a beautiful dayā¦ didnāt bring sunglasses either. š
You can see the heavy frost in the foreground of this photo.
Crossing the viaduct.
I have arrived!
I went for a wander as I was a half hour early. Itās the most beautiful day now.
I met Mum and Dad up the top of Cockburn Street.
We decided to head straight up to the castle.
Itās so nice to see it without the Edinburgh Tattoo scaffolding on the Esplanade.
Edinburgh is so much quieter than the last time mum and I were here during the Festival.
I say that and there were a LOT of people I the Castle during the middle of the day.
Looking down to the east end of Princes Street and the Wallace Monument.
The one oāclock gun!
St Margaretās Chapel.
Mons Meg.
When we were wee this was kept inside. Itās obviously been preserved enough to bring it back outside.
We stood up here to watch Edinburghās 1oāclock gun go off. Even when you know itās coming, you still get a fright.
This is fired every day except Sundays, Good Friday and Christmas Day, to let ships in the Firth of Forth know what time it is.
Here is Arthurās Seat and Salisbury Cragsā¦ the crags arenāt particularly visible due to the sun but if you zoom in you might see them.
You can see they are setting up for the Christmas Markets down in Princes Street Gardens. Think it opens next weekend.
I have so many more photos but I think I might break WordPress. š
I love this shot of us leaving the castleā¦ the longest legs in the shadows!
We were SO lucky with the weather. Itās been very cold but a beautiful day. Itās so lovely to make these memories together, rather than sitting around inside a house.
I even got a nice shot in Edinburgh Waverley.
Itās dark now and Iām just north of Glasgow again where the blog started.
I woke up to torrential rain pummelling the window pane this morning. 5.30am.
By the time I left for work, the heavy rain cloud was moving on.
I suddenly noticed the bright star next to the moonā¦. I believe it was actually Venus.
Iāve never seen anything that bright, that close to the moon.
It was a lovely drive in this morning, no rain and pretty skies.
I was in work early again and got loads done. I love feeing organised when I finish on a Thursday.
Itās my weekend!
I rushed home to get my haircut in the garden room straight across the road from the house. Itās so cool to have your hairdresser over the road.
There are no pics as I just sat and watched the last episode of House season 4 and I criedā¦.. ššš
The sunset was pretty too.
I saw this earlier and I really liked the sentiment of it. Iāve read it through a lot.
Iāve spent so long raging at the river that I am honestly say acceptance and being present in the moment if so freeing.
Iām listening the Diary of a CEO podcast at the moment. Itās fascinating me. Todays episode said we wear busy-ness like a badge of honour. We expect to be saluted for working all the hours god sends, for having the busiest social life and actually we all need to reward each other for taking time out and looking after ourselves. That needs to become the new norm.
I used to go in early and work late. I thought thatās what was expected of me.
I carried on doing it for most of my careerā¦ I began to resent it.
I told everyone how busy I was, how stressed I was, how hard I worked, I was proud of it all while despising it.
I LOVED my job title. It defined me.
I was never happy with what I had. I always wanted more.
I earned a lot of money and yet it was never enough.
When I finally broke and went off sick I felt like a failure. I felt like that for a very long time.
Iād be lying if I said I didnāt get the occasional pang of failure at times when I left my mind overthinkā¦. But mostly I am truly grateful at having the chance to really think about what it is important in my life. Sadly too many people only experience this after some kind of trauma. If you have felt experienced this without having rock bottom then bottle whatever that is and sell it.
I finally donāt worry about what people think of me (but if you donāt like me please donāt EVER tell me as I would carry that about for yearsā¦ š³š) I donāt care about the job title, about the money, about the things. I just have to do whatās right for me now. Instead of putting everything else first.
Iām back. I feel so much better today. Phew. Itās such a relief.
Iād go as far as to say I felt no anger or irritability today. Wellā¦. not too much. š¤·š»āāļøš Thereās always a little š¬ but nothing like yesterday.
I drove to work in atrocious weather conditions this morning. The rain was so heavy that I actually couldnāt see the road. I had to switch off the stereo so I could concentrate. How crazy does that sound?!
There was an accident on the A736 at the Barmill/Burnhouse crossroads. A white van and a Millās Milk Luton van had hit each other. Millās Milk coming off WAY worse.
The Police had turned their car to shine their headlights up my lane. With the amount of water on the road, you couldnāt see anything with the bright shine of the headlights on water. I had to approach at about 10 miles an hour. I suppose thatās the planā¦ š¤·š»āāļø
When I drive past something like that, I always have a huge gulp of emotion ride up that brings tearsā¦ didnāt help to have water in my eyes when I already couldnāt see the road! I hope no one was hurt.
I forgot to say yesterday that I have finally started Collagen and Tumeric supplements in the hope that might help my joint stiffness.
My friend Helen did a lot of research into Collagen so I just copied her rather than doing my own. This shakes into a drink. The mandarin flavour is lovely. The tumeric is just a capsule. Iām also taking Magnesium and have been for a few months now. Surely some of it will help?!
Forgot I took this photo earlier. Here are all the Tartan Campers parked up for the winterā¦. I put a sign on each of them saying that so no one drives one.
We were on Channel 4 at lunchtime todayā¦ hopefully thatās some great advertising.
Iām jumping around all over the place todayā¦.
When I got home, Craig had a lady in the living room!!!! š³
She was from the Office for National Statistics and she asked us lots of questions about our working lives. Weāve had a few letters from them and I replied last week but she just turned up on spec. It took about an hour between us to answer all the questions. I quite like stuff like that. Not sure why?!
Anyhooā¦. Itās been good to feel calm and in control today. The National Statistics lady asked how happy I was with my life and I was able to answer 9/10. š
I think thatās pretty damn good for anyone to be able to say. š
Iāve found some peace and realise that happiness is what you make it. Happiness isnāt living for the next holiday. Itās in the sunshine and the heavy rain, in the wind and in the leaves falling from the trees. Itās in every day.
Happiness is knowing that the bad days will pass. When you lower your expectations in life then you have a greater chance of happiness.
Iām tracking the Aurora again and toying with the idea of heading out later. Will seeā¦.
She who lives in the present moment, appreciates the smaller things in life, is calm and chilled out these days, showed a whole lot of ugly todayā¦
I woke with the alarm at 6.15 which is unusualā¦ but I was aware of feeling strange before the alarm went off. I know how ridiculous that soundsā¦. I felt breathless and antsyā¦ nervousā¦. There is nothing to be nervous of today.
I just felt off.
I got up and found that wonderful time of the month had arrived. I believe this was on account of me missing 3 progesterone pills this monthā¦. I forgot to take them one night and yesterday I found one floating at the bottom of my water bottle. To my terror. I thought it was a wasp?! Go figure.
Anywayā¦. I have a reason for my grouchinessā¦.. but Iām like a volcano of irritabilityā¦. Sparking off at anything and everythingā¦. Not actually keeping it inside. Even my boss mentioned how I piled on the heat firing questions at him before he even got into work.
I was incensed and yet nothing was any different today than it was yesterday. Except my reactions.
We can choose how we respond to day to day life. I wasnāt present enough in the moment to respond properly today. I was kicking off as if everyone was out to get me.
I heard myself sayā¦ āeverything is going wrongāā¦ āeverything needs done 2 or 3 timesāā¦ āthis is too hardā. I gave myself a difficult day. My inner child threw her tantrum arms up in the air all day.
The truth was it was a beautiful day. I took these photos at 7am out in the garden with the dogs.
The moon was a perfect crescent although itās more of a dot in this photo. š¬
My lilies are beautiful.
And, despite having a thumping angry headache all day, I came home and went over to the hall for Kinisi-flow and I loved it. It would have been so easy not to bother.
I worked hard, I felt strong and the headache finally left.
I love it when the calm finally breaks through the noise.
The Rambling Sloth š¦„ 