Wow what a stormy night. I think it was the worst weather so farā¦ yet I managed to sleep right through! My earplugs totally drowned it out.
So you see the scary ghost-like clouds in the sky?! They were really spooky clouds when I was out with the dogs at 10pm.
They reminded me of the ghosts on Ghostbusters but I only videos them, so tried to snap these photos off the videos!
It was still really wild again this morning.
I had to go out into the garden at 7am and I shut both gates again and made sure everything was safe for the dogs.
It was a wild drive down to Tartan HQ. Thatās really the worst itās been since the storms started.
Butā¦ā¦ guess whatā¦ there was actual sunshine appearing mid morningā¦.
It was so lovely to see the sun and the wind had finally died down to a gentle breeze. I almost took a photo every time I went out. š
So not much else to report. The silence is deafening now that the wind has stopped raging.
I spent a bit of time in the back garden with the dogs, when I got home. It only got dark about 5pm!!
My friend Ruth sent me a surprise grift tonight. ā„ļø
So very kind and considerate of her and Calaidh is super interested too. Iām.looking forward to reading it and seeing what lessons I might take from it.
Well it must have been calmer last night as āJulie with ear plugsā was out for the countā¦. In my actual bed. Check me.
What a great rejuvenating sleep. I felt so refreshed! (as I read that back it sounds like I woke up 20 years younger which was absolutely NOT the case šš )
Storm Jocelyn has been picking up throughout day.
Itās rained ALL day and the wind has been gusting on and off all afternoon but she really hits tonight.
The Tartan portacabin has been buffeted aboutā¦ I said thank goodness I was there for the ballast ššš
I was really lucky that the last deluge stopped about 5 minutes before I left work so my drive home wasnāt massively different from normal. Except for the tree down at the top of the road. This is not my photo so credit to Edward McWilliams.
Our house is literally just around that bend. I had to take the detour on the back roads and had a van follow me as he didnāt know where to go.
We have lost the top of our wood shed unfortunately. Itās done well mind you. Itās an old bus windscreen box from my old job.
The sky was stunning when I got home.
So once again Iāve watched myself have better reactions to previous triggers. When we try to finish a van there are always last minute parts required, for a variety of reasons.
My thought process was always as follows: immediate panic, defensive, high pitched whiny voice, why do you need that, why didnāt I know about it, did I buy the wrong thing, Iām sure I had that in stock, where do ok I get it, Iāve never bought one of them before, how do I even know where to look, how come we need it when Iāve never bought it before, will it get here in time, tears, panic, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety. You usually have to peel me off the ceiling when this happens.
The last time this happened I skyrocketed and came back down to earth pretty quickly, having seen my over-reaction from the outside looking in if that makes sense?
Todayā¦.
No problem.
Look part up.
Send screenshotā¦ does this look ok?
Buy it.
Add to list of parts to buy in future.
Smile to myself.
Thatā¦.. is how it should be done.
When you live with anxiety, you donāt just calmly stop and think. You catapult into the anxious oblivion.
Today I calmly thought and acted. No drama.
I love that Iām so aware of it too.
So thatās us both home safe tonight and hopefully by tomorrow the storm is over.
I had ear plugs in, with my fingers in my ears on top of the ear plugs and I could still hear it.
It was like someone parked an artic truck outside the house and left it running. it was wild!!!
I moved down to the couch at 10.20pm as weād been in bed so early. I didnāt sleep very well.
There are rumours of a trampoline being in the middle of Main Road spotted around half 11 last night and Craig and I slept through the call to help move it!! Least I slept at some pointā¦
Itās been shocking weather all day. Itās been relentless.
So as Storm Isha moves away, Storm Jocelyn rolls right inā¦. Tomorrow night is another super windy night. To be fair, I donāt think tonight will be much better šš
So other than yawning most of the day. Iāve been good.
I love when Iām proud of myself for a certain reaction to thingsā¦ when I know I would have reacted differently in the past. Iāve been aware of that a few times today.
So a wee funny story ā¦. One of our suppliers had a sale on and we laughed when we saw the nodding Coconut Tortoiseā¦. I mean why? šš
I messaged my supplier contact, who is the loveliest ladyā¦.. and we had a good laugh and she sent us not one but two!!! What a lovely thing to do. ā„ļø
They are the funniest things, carved out of a coconut with nodding heads!
I gave one to Ellison as took one to the office. She drew a smile on hers and I copied her. she called hers Tam. š
Simple things eh??
Anyway, needs must when thereās not much midweek content! šš
Here she is under the chin (as the saying goes šš)
You would think butter wouldnāt melt.
But it definitely didā¦. Hereās Craig rescuing her after she disappeared off the edge of a lookout point up near Oban.
Check her smile as he carries her ššš
Sheās a beautiful girl š
So weāve been trying to decide if need a new mattress or notā¦. We have a mattress with an inbuilt topper so we canāt turn it over, but itās getting pretty saggy.
Instead of turning the mattress we slept the other way round in the bed last night to see if the mattress is worth turning šššš
It made me laugh as it felt really strange but I think it was better. Problem is we we turn it round, I get Craigās side and he gets mine. I think Iām happier this way šš
The wind (outside!) was so strong yesterday, that I woke on and off all night. Surprisingly no knee pain though! I found ear plugs which helped drown out the rain and wind so slept better the second half of the night. Weāre due to get up to 71mph gusts tonight.
Itās pretty windy out there just now.
So Gayle and I went to the SEC today for Scotlandās Trade Fair.
We had a great day and I loved that we met some of the folk we met last year. Gayle got lots of new ideas and bought some new exciting stock for the shop.
Iām back home, hunkered down for the night, the hatches are battened and we hope our chimney doesnāt lose any more bits tonight. Hope everyone in the UK is safe.
Hope life is easy on you this week. Remember to take each moment as it comes. Just breathe.
My knees were gowping again. So painful. Both of them. Doesnāt help that he weather was pretty awful through the night so I think my knees and the wind (the outside wind! š) keep waking me up.
I put Biofreeze on both legs at 2.30am and I think that helped relax my thigh muscles, which seems to take pressure off my knees.
I never got out of bed until after 8am.
Storm Isha is on its way.
The forecast keeps changing but a few days ago it showed thisā¦..
I have NEVER seen those numbers on my weather appā¦. It now downgraded toā¦.
But look at whatās comingā¦.
Weāve already lost a wee bit of chimney roughcast. Craigās heard something āfallā through the night and we found it on the road this morning.
Itās really windy right through until next weekend. Iāve been Mrs weather forecast for the last few days šš
So back to todayā¦. Housework. About time too. Been gallivanting too much recently š¤¦š»āāļøš
Iāve changed the bed, done several washings, hung everything up to dry, hoovered everywhere and cleaned up all the muddy dog splashes on the walls and floor. The muddy dogs have only gone and covered my cleaning with muddy splatter but at least it was clean for 5 minutes. šš
I even cleaned the wood down the side of the stairsā¦. I couldnāt tell you the last time I cleaned that. š¤¦š»āāļø A job well done!
My right wrist and elbow are pretty sore too with tendinitis. Iām not letting it stop me though.
Craig and I then went to Curiosity coffee shopā¦ his first time there and I had my mint oat milk latte. Loved it.
We then drove to Kilmarnock as Craig had a Specsavers appointmentā¦. OR DID HE?!?!
Nopeā¦. It would appear he did not ššš
His appointment is next Saturdayā¦ š¤¦š»āāļøšš Iāll be dining out on that one for a while.
So we drove ALL the way home again. Popped into the pub with Khaleesi, for a quick alcohol free drink for two, Craig is making his Dry January look easy. He had and Erdinger 0% and I had 0% pink gin and slimline tonic. Leesi sat by the fire!
Nice to have a day to catch up on everything and bonus that Craig was here for the day too.
Weāre having a family ladies lunch today with Mumās side so Iām meeting Mum, Auntie Marion, mumās cousin Joyce (who is always called mumās cousin Joyce!) and my sister in law, Gill.
I had another great sleep and woke up at 6am. It has snowed again over night. By the time I got up, the rain was pouring over the snow and creating black ice š§
I got a notification from the Trainline app to say that there was potential disruption on the route for today so I left early, to make sure I got there in time. Here comes the train!
The platform is super icy. They always say āplease mind the gap when alighting from the traināā¦ please mind the ice as you try to board the train would be more appropriate!
I donāt get any decent photos from the train as itās raining and misty most of the way in.
Hereās Glasgow in the rain though.
Me with my hood up. My hair was nice and straight when I left the houseā¦ maybe not so much by the time I get to Edinburgh š
I got the train from Glasgow Queen Street to Edinburgh and we were only held up for a bit outside Polmont station. They said there was a technical fault that they were currently fixing.
I met a lovely American family on the train on their first visit to Scotland. Their daughter is starting Glasgow Caledonian University. I of course became the tour guide on the train whether they wanted it if not. I was buzzing for them to see Edinburgh for the first time š
Joyce met me in Edinburgh Waverley. The Americans went off to find their Mary Queen of Scots tourā¦. Who knew that was a thing?!?
Itās so pretty inside. Itās such a lovely atmosphere. Itās in the centre of Edinburgh but itās like sitting in the middle of a jungle.
It feels very natural.
The food was exceptional too. Itās a really good menu.
Joyce and I shared the Red Thai Prawn Kebab and the Grilled Halloumi Kebab.
We got one with coconut rice and one with chips.
It was so good honestly, super tasty, really good quality food. Only cost is Ā£22.62 a head as well which I thought was really good.
Hereās the seabass.
And the sweet potato Katsu curry.
Even the oat milk DECAF! latte was really good.
I really loved it, I would go back in a heartbeat. Itās great to catch up with all the family ladies too and hear everyoneās news.
Itās been a lovely, cold day in Edinburgh.
I took a few shots before I headed back down into Waverley station.
I literally missed the Glasgow Queen Street train by two minutes. They wouldnāt let me through the barrier as the doors were just closing. Dammitā¦. š I headed round for the Glasgow Central train which stops at hundreds of stations but gets me into Glasgow only 7 minutes later than the Queen St train so I figured it would do me just fine. Iām also seeing a hundred Scottish stations, most of which I didnāt even know existed!!! Who knew š
Still an hour of travelling to go but that is fine. It was a lovely day and yet another mini adventure and new experience!
I cannot believe that I was causing those headaches myself. 3 days of headacheā¦ gone. All because I was resisting every day lifeā¦ I was fighting my reality as I wanted to be somewhere elseā¦. I didnāt want to have to deal with the dogs and I didnāt want to have to be in the office. I resented all of that as I wanted to be off out enjoying myself. I physically made myself tense.
At the time I had no idea I was doing it. I only knew there was something wrong when tablets didnāt touch the headache.
That got me thinking.
Reading that Eckhart Tolle post really made me stop, think and completely relax.
I created all of that as a problem in my head.
It isnāt a problem. Itās my reality. Itās here so that I can enjoy doing the things I want to do when I can have the time to enjoy them.
I bloody love this soul searching stuffā¦.
Iāve had a much better day. Iāve had lots of ideas for improvements at work and have started working on them.
Iāve chosen to let my anger go and itās actually gone (no one is more surprised than me!)
Iām off into Silverburn Shopping Centre to meet Lea for a good catch up!!
Starbucks for a cuppa as usual.
Lots of great chat as usual. Weāre making a habit of catching up more and itās good!!
Iām finding the blog a chore when I donāt feel 100%.
Iām fairly certain Iām not sick, but Iām creating some kind of weird tension in my body because Iām unsettled, out of balance.
Iāve learned to be very in tune with how I feel. I guess I overanalyse everything too.
Iāve had a headache for 3 days now and nothing is taking it away. Even typing that is giving it power over me. Iāve been telling anyone who will listen. Iām making such a big drama out of something thatās actually nothing.
All because I feel a bit low.
At lunch I saw this:
I read this over and over and felt the headache ease off. I realised that my jaw was clenched as it slowly started to relax, my shoulders relaxed down from my ears.
Is it that simple? Am I creating it all? And I think the answer is yes.
Iāve had an amazing January so farā¦ I wanted to keep my head up the whole month and for some reason itās slumped a bit. I feel restless, antsy, looking for direction. My mind screams that life is short and I should travel, travel, travelā¦.. šš
So I went to the sea and it helped a bit because it was beautiful. I couldnāt stay long as it was bitterly cold and I didnāt have the warmest gear on.
The sky was absolutely stunning.
Spot the tanker perfectly positioned on the horizon. If Iād got away from work bang on time heād have been right in front of the setting sun.
I suddenly noticed a squall moving down the Isle of Arran.
It was really dramatic. I took loads of photos but I think these were some of the best.
Iāve also never walked on frosty sand before. It was hard going as it was quite solid and we expect sand to give way when we walk over it. Very pretty though.
So Iāve given myself a shake, a dust down. Blew some cobwebs away at the beach and have blurted it all out.
We canāt always feel on top of our game.
Life isnāt always perfect and doesnāt always go our way.
We can set off with the best of interiors and have a million things disrupt our path.
The key is how we respond and I hope Iām back on track with that.
And thisā¦ā¦ oh yes, this. Way too much drama being created this week.
And relax.
And go meet the crochet hookers!!
Iāve 4 minutes to get changed, pick up my crochet and head into the pub next door.
Ok so I called out the snow this morning with yesterdayās forecast, but it needed up being nothing like the forecast!
Went to bed sooooo early. Was in bed for about 8 and slept right through until 7.10am. I had a lie in as I had the Phlebotomist for blood tests, this morning! (I LOVE that word!)
I opened my eyes about 6ishā¦ no snow, back to sleep, 7.10ā¦. Now snow, back to sleep until 7.50am and still no snow.
I set foot out of the house at 8.30am. It started to snow.
The doctors surgery is a 5 minute drive.
Still snowing.
Walked in the doorā¦. āJulie?!?!ā ā¦.. yesā¦. Straight in to the phlebotomist š
First arm no vein.
Second arm no vein.
āHave you drunk any water this morning?ā Yes loadsā¦ āstrange as that should help your veinsā¦.ā
Finally got a vein in my right hand.
Drew bloods for rheumatoid arthritis, inflammation and something else which I missed.
All in all 5 minutes.
Over her shoulder, outside the window looked very white.
Yup full dusting of snow when I walked out the door and it was still snowing.
I didnāt seem enough to work from home, and really it wasnāt, but that didnāt stop me having a scary drive!
Some roads didnāt even have tracks in the snow. I drove down a hill near our local whisky bond and a truck turned the bend and came towards me. I pulled into the side and tapped the brakesā¦.
Nothing. š±
My anxiety went through the roof.
Every what if scenario considered.
I just slid on down that hill. Kept it straight thankfully and the truck got past me ok but I had the wobbles after that.
I often think itās good to have a wee wobble on a first snow driving day as it makes you concentrate more.
By the time I got to work there was nothing.
Criag took this pic for me back home.
So that was me today.
Iām still not feeling great but not sure why. Iāve had a headache for two days. Nothing is shifting it. Seems like a tension headache. I was really emotional last night and kept wanting to cry. Iām tired and foggy headed. itās not that time of the month and Iām still on the HRt.
I did a food shop after work tonight and tried to buy healthy. Iām thinking Iām having too much sugar in between fasts just now.
I had a veggie stir fry for dinner tonight but I didnāt enjoy it at allā¦ least I made the effort to make it.
Iām gonna get back up and make my salad for lunch tomorrow, load the dishwasher and out some washing away then Iām going to sit down and read until Craig comes home.
Oh I should say that Craigās Scottish Dog Behaviourist FB page reached 1,000 followers yesterday, which is incredible in his first year out own his own. Heās worked so hard to increase his followers, as have many of you, and for that I am so grateful. His business will go from straight to strength the more social media presence it has. If you havenāt links it yet, hereās the link to the page.
I finally managed to get into the passenger door and climbed over to get the engine started. It all defrosted in the end but the windows sat kind of open all the way to work. Itās a real flaw.
I got on fine today, felt fine but mid afternoon I lost all focus, I kept having to look things up two and three times.
Soā¦ I could just be tired after all the excitement of the last few days!
I really wanted to go for a run after work to try and clear my head but itās freezing. Itās that bitterly cold that takes your breath away a bit. Tomorrow we have snow forecast!
Probably means weāll get none but I brought my laptop home just in case. Us anxious folks are always prepared for every eventuality. š
There was a lovely sky as the sun set.
Pic doesnāt do it justice. It was almost pink and grey striped, like wallpaper I had as a wee girl.
So yeah, Iām missing my āHeidi the Mountain Goatā tourist attitude of the last few days. Meanwhile I have this sleeping beauty next to me. She looks a bit like a kangaroo!
Currently sitting on the 12.11 from Oban to Glasgow Queen Streetā¦ only typing when we go through a high banked section of the track. Iām not missing a minute.
I had a lovely sleep in my wee single bed. My knee was agony and woke me at 11.22pm. Iād been asleep since 9ishā¦ but after that it really settled and has been fine ever since.
Youāll be pleased to know Iāve done my exercises twice and they really help strengthen my leg. Why is it though when we have exercises to do it seems like such a chore?!? A real āughā momentā¦.They are designed to help the pain. Get over it Julesie.
I couldnāt decide exactly what to do this morning and was keen to get the ferry over to Mull and straight back but I was waiting to see if the conditions were right.
Do I stay in the hotel until 10am checkout? Do I get the ferry and risk missing the 12.11? Do I plan for the 16.11? So many decisions.
I decide to head back up to McCaigs Folly (Tower) for first light so that I could see sunriseā¦. As you do.
Up at 7 showered, packed up and ready for the off. Back up that huge hill almost in the dark!
As you can see I stood there for ages! It was bitterly cold and one guy came up during a run, said hi, stretched, said goodbye and ran offā¦. I had the place to myself.
Ok soā¦ next decisionā¦ the ferry. Headed down to the terminal to ask their adviceā¦.
It appears that this ferryā¦ the departing oneā¦. was my only hope of a sail to Mull at back before 12.
Thatās my decision made then. Iāll no be doing that! šš I must have got it completely wrong when I looked up the ferry times this week. To be fair it was pretty choppy and the Loch Frisa doesnāt look like there is too much outer deck so it may not have done what I was hoping it would do.
As I walked aimlessly through the harbour, I met Luana, the Brazilian girl Iād met yesterday. She was heading for the bus to Fort William but suggested Pulpit Hill. I remembered mum and dad had climbed it before.
Now I should say here that Tracey, my Canadian (insomniac š) friend, was fully involved in my morning again. She obviously never sleeps! She told me it was a 23 minute walkā¦ so off I go.
Itās a hike but what a viewā¦ looking directly over to McCaigās Folly that I just left!
Looking over to Kerrera, with Mull in the distance to the left and Lismore in the distance to the right.
Zoomed in on the harbour and train station. The train is in already.
Then I met a lovely local couple walking their blind spanielā¦ which basically means, she who has not spoken much this weekend, chewed their ear off with chat! It was lovely to make them laugh. In that 10 minutes of chat, we really connected.
They suggested Hinba Coffee Shopā¦ so off down the hill I go.
At the same time Tracey has already recommended Hinba, as it gets the best reviews online ššš Tracey has also come up with another walk to Oban Hydropathic Santorium ruins šš but I need a heat up.
Itās lovely!! I have a Guatemalan coffee and a slice of Tiffan cake.
I chill, warm and charge my phone. Then order a decaf gingerbread latte. Heaven.
I still have time to kill so wander around taking even more photos before my crazy kind gets me first in the queue for the twins so I can pick my seat on the left side, get a window and a charger. I know, I knowā¦. But it pays off. Iām first on the train š š
Tracey must finally be asleep!
Iām on the other side on the way down so I can catch everything I missed on the way up! Itās also freezingā¦ all the way!!
These next photos are all out the window of the train!
First glimpses of Loch Lomond.
Inveruglas power station.
Tarbert and Loch Lomond.
Think this river is in Dumbarton.
I have honestly had the best time.
Iām shattered but so grateful that Craig doesnāt mind me doing this. He had to work yesterday and heās had some quality doggo time. I know Iāll go back to bed full of dog hair.
I get to do all the crazy things I want to do, I donāt have to worry about anyone else, I can just do my thing.
Itās 3.10pm and Iām still on the train, about 20 minutes out from Glasgow Queen Street station. I should be home for 5 at the latest.
What a lovely weekend.
Thisā¦my Sundays always used to be thisā¦ gut-wrenching stressā¦. Not any more ā„ļø
I only decided this yesterday though Iād been thinking about it all week.
The alarm went off at 5.40am but I was awake a fair bit before that.
My train is at 7.10am from Glengarnock to Glasgow Central, walk from Glasgow Central to Queens Street then train to Oban.
Why?!?
Iām determined not to be bored like I was in the Christmas holidays. I want to get out and about and I have always wanted to travel to Oban by train just to see where the line goes.
Itās dark when we leave the house, Craig drops me at Glengarnock train station. š
My friend Tracey in Canada šØš¦ is with me the whole way š albeit in FB messenger. She is as excited as I am!!
The first train is only a half hour and then I have to walk across Glasgow. Itās almost sunrise.
The colours are lovely against the sky and the wet on the ground.
Tracey is online, in Vancouver, trying to look up what platform my train is going from!! It was lovely to have someone following my every move from such a difference. It made me even more excited!!
I break all the rules and head through for the train before the platform is announced. šš The Trainline app has already told me itās platform 2 and thereās a queue forming.
Which side of the train to sit on?!? Oh my god they are putting seat tickets on the seats, folk have booked seats, who knew, why didnāt I do that?!? š
I get on the train and pick the left hand side of the carriage. I get a table, an electric socket and a window seat! Absolutely no need for the extra thinking a minute ago.
What you do forget on your solo relaxation trip is that there are lots of other people involved in your journey. I should have brought my headphones!
This is a breathtaking train journey. Iām already so very glad that I got the train. None of my photos will do it justice. I can highly recommend it.
This is the sunrise over the Clyde. Remember all of these are taken from a moving train so not the best.
The train leaves Glasgow and out through Dalmuir, Dumbarton. Helensburgh, Garelochhead and out towards Arrochar.
This is the Cobbler which rises above Arrochar.
This was the bit of the journey I was least familiar with.
The main road to Oban takes you up the side of Loch Lomond and the train goes up the side of the loch further west.
It was beautiful to see that countryside from so high up. The railway on the side of the hill.
Looking down into Arrochar.
Spotted in Ardluiā¦ a train with a Heilanā coo!!
The train is formed of 4 carriages. The front two split off in Crianlarich and head to Oban. The back 2 will head up to Fort William and onto Mallaig arriving 13.28. Must do that one day too.
This is Kilchurn cancel on the backs of Loch Awe.
Passing over the railway bridge beside Kilchurn.
The railway then runs right along the banks of Loch Awe. Itās really beautiful and especially on such a sunny day.
Itās done exactly what I wanted it to do, itās let me see Scotland from a different angle. Places that Iāve driven through for years look very different from the track half way up the mountain!
I got into Oban and 11.25 and this is my hotel.
Itās only Ā£39.60 for a single room and yes, you get what you pay for. Sadly itās a bit run down but the room is clean and it has a wee single bed!
The skyline shows McCaigās Tower or McCaigās Folly as itās knownā¦. I head up there later. I had a good wander round all the shops, got checked in early and got a sea view room at no extra costā¦ then walked out to Dunollie. Love this bench!
Sat here for a while and spoke to Craigie.
Headed along back into Oban and up the very steep hill to the Tower.
Caledonian McBrayneās Lord of the Isles is heading into dock.
I spend a good hour in and around the tower.
Once the group of tourists leaveā¦ itās just me and silenceā¦. And thisā¦.
I took a selfie and unbeknown to me I would get chatting to the girl who just walked in and we went shopping together with another girl sheād just met. The joys of solo travel, you hook up with like minded people. Sheās staying in the Youth Hostel for Ā£20 a night.
We put the world to rights! She headed off to the cinema while I went to pick up Fish and Chips to take back to the hotel. Heading back now.
The sky is amazing.
Iāve had a lovely day. I love it when the silence is deafening in my head. Iāve been singing random songs to myself all day.
Oban is my happy place. Iām loving the wee mini adventure.
Craig will be enjoying watching all the football news without me nagging!
Oops sorry babyā¦ā¦ reads for a bit and back to sleep. out for the count.
Me ššššššššššš
I didnāt sleep great last night as my knee was uncomfortable when I turned but I was FAST ASLEEP at 5am. Course I was.
Youāll be pleased to know I finally did my knee physio exercises at 6.30am. My leg has no power at all and it shakes doing these simple exercises! Thatās good though as itās building strength.
I went for another run with Rachel two doors down. My legs are stiff, my knees are sore but itās not excruciating. Itās not as sore as it can be in bed.
We ran for 1.58 miles and knocked a minute off our time from Sunday. I donāt notice it when we plod in line and chat.
We then took the dogs up the hill for a walk. I took Calaidh. Itās meant to be wall to wall sunshine this morning. Not soā¦..
I then went back down the hill and took Bhruic upā¦.
Look at the stick she ended up playing withā¦ dogs should never play with sticks but I caught this crazy photo of her throwing it up in the air. (Could have been very dangerousā¦. š)
Then she jumped in a burn and came out with the muddiest nose!
I finally saw something that might resemble blue sky but it never came to anything.
So by 10am I had done a run, 2 dog walks, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen and fed the dogs!
Iām not sure where the rest of the day went š (just remembered and will end with that!)
I cleared out my wardrobe and drawers again. I seem to do that a lot these days but it feels good. I had a shower and got ready and we went out for lunch to Auchengree farm shop near us. Check these cute goats they have running around!
Theyāre tiny!
Iād fasted for 19 hours and 22 minutes and I donāt think I made the best choiceā¦ I had chicken tempura and pulled pork loaded fries. I should have ordered the salad after all my healthy exercise! It sounds great but I just wanted to sleep afterwardā¦. That remind me I was awake at 5am.
Guess where I had been sittingā¦. Right on the middle of the mob of dogs š
So yeahā¦. I am randomly heading off tomorrow, on a wee solo trip to Oban for the night. Literally booked this morning.
You might think it would be easier if I still had the van, but I am getting the train up leaving here at 7.10am tomorrow morning. In all the trips Iāve had to Oban I have never gone on the train and I canāt wait to see where it goes. I will see bits of Scotland Iāve never seen before. I am SO excited and I donāt have to drive, I can relax and be chauffeured!
I got a single room in a basic hotel for Ā£39.60ā¦ only Ā£9.60 more than Iād spend on a campsite and I get my own bathroom! Itās right on the sea front but I will most likely not have a sea view for that price.
So thatās me for the next few days. Craigās working and watching football tomorrow afternoon so wonāt even notice Iām gone š he says itās okā¦ heāll watch the dogs. I said thank you šš¼šš
I could not settle last night. Someone was a bit snorey but honestly I can sleep through that some nights, just not last night. I moved down to the couch about 1.30am.
My arms were jittery after crochet, I was just restless. Iām still recommending the pillow under the knee through the night. Thatās made a huge difference.
I was working early this morning, making up time in advance as Iāll be late in on a Tuesday as I have blood tests for my knee at 8.50am. So thatās an hour and 15 minutes down already.
So up off my couch at 5.45am and was showered and in the car by 6.15am.
Setting up my stereo to play a podcastā¦ and I CALLED MY DAD!!!! At 6.15amā¦. Panic ensues and much frantic pressing of buttons later I cancel my call to Dad, only to CALL MUM!!!! By this time Iām actually laughingā¦ Iāve already had to wake Craig by popping back upstairs for my glassesā¦
If youāre reading this and I didnāt try to wake you this morningā¦ I think you should be pretty grateful. I was trying to wake the world.
Iām at my desk for 6.45am and thereās no internetā¦ā¦ NOā¦ā¦.. I switch it all offā¦. And a witch it back on again and go wash the mountain of mugs that have , only one of which is mine obviously š . By the time I get back, the internet is back. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
My ego would have dined out on that in the pastā¦.. imagine going in early and the internet is down, Iād stress, get angry, be incensed that it wasnāt going my way. Today, initial jeezo man then nothingā¦ only resolution.
I felt calm today yet two things early on sent me up on my pit banger (I donāt even know what that is or why I use that analogy but I hit orbit and come straight back down!). One thing I had been super prepared for, but not bought from the correct supplier so my smugness was wasted and the second Iād bought parts for something that hadnāt been used and different parts were needed instead.
This is my job. Itās that simple. I buy things.. among lots of other things. š
Both of these things mean that I need to do something else fast to allow production to keep going. No one is angry at meā¦. No one is even annoyed at me. Output is not stopped.
I am RAGINGā¦. For those 30 seconds to a minute about each issue. My ego wallops straight back down to earth and it kind of furtively looks around to see if anyone noticedā¦. Of course they did. For a few seconds I was in orbit moaning on and on about the injustice of it allā¦.
Overreaction muchā¦. The injustice that you have to cancel one order and buy more parts which took me all of about 4 minutes. Hardly a problem.
I had a previous job that was a massive blame culture. People actively fought to point the blame away from them. I wore that blame like a badge when it was actually my fault and told EVERYBODY how it had come about. I thought if I could explain it fully then there would be less aggression pointed in my direction, at me and my team. I would tell anyone who was willing to listenā¦ and even those who werenāt!
Holding up production is a huge trigger for me.
There was something else later on that was worse. Iād misunderstood something and given the wrong direction to Upholstery. again launches with the āitās my faultā and Iām trying to explain why I did what I did and whyā¦ā¦ expecting the aggression that used to come. Pit banger up to the ceiling, tears because I thought I was being misunderstood. Come straight back down to earth, apologise profusely and spend of the rest of the day in some calm but uncomfortable cringe.
Iād like to stop that volcanic eruption or rocket launch š as itās unnecessary . When I think back I used to manage a team and be constantly kicking off left, right and centre, how did I ever manage?!? I am grateful that Iām not that person anymore, she just rests her ugly head at times, sheās my go-to defence mechanism.
How apt that this pops up on my feed tonightā¦. āThe mental resistance to things which arise, and the assumption that they should notāā¦. Exactly what happened today.
Iām glad when home time comes. (š that reminds me of school!)
Toenail appointment at 5pm which was lovelyā¦ and I have nice summery, salmony orange toes, gone is the red Christmas sparkle that no-one saw anyway!
The world is full of sadness at the moment. There is so much death, illness, and so many accidents locally just now. I do feel very grateful to be alive. I still feel very positive and upbeat but those 3 events surprised me today. I wonāt dwell on them though as I canāt change them, I can only learn from them.
So once again I feel so much better after writing this downā¦.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is working late again tonight so Iām going to work on my self care Clever Fox journal (or Foxy journal as the Windsor Waffle calls it! š¦) and Iām going to have an early night and do my knee exercises before I go to sleep.
šš midweek blog titles are sometimes difficult when life seems a bit like Groundhog Day.
I have to say that Iāve had another good day. My head is very calm just now, my mind is focussed and Iām tackling spreadsheets like there is no tomorrow. Iām in my spreadsheet elementā¦ if there is such a thing.
I had THE best sleep last night.
No knee pain at allā¦ no waking up that I can rememberā¦ until 6.04amā¦ 6 minutes before the alarm. I love that. Iām so grateful for a good sleep.
I was up and at it today as itās hair wash day. I had to get the dogs up and outside before I left as they were in bed early last nightā¦. Only because I was. š
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist didnāt get home until 10.40pmā¦. A real late one for him and I was long gone, out for the count.
Iāve found lots of motivational quotes tonightā¦
I feel really different since the Christmas break and I donāt know why but I love it. I feel lots of hope and dare I say excitement for each day at the moment, even if they are spent at work. I know so many people are going through some really difficult things and it makes me extra grateful of my own peace of mind.
I had a lovely salad for lunch in my new Brabantia salad bowl.
Didnāt I just go and leave my lunch bag at work thoughā¦ dammit.
Last night I said I promised I would go and look out my knee exercisesā¦. I forgot by the end of the blog. Of course I did.
I remembered todayā¦. Got them out my handbag and realised most of them have to be done lying in bed. Of course they do. So I couldnāt do them before I started work like I thought.
I put them in my sandwich bagā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ š
Wonāt be doing any exercises until I retrieve said sandwich bag and hit my bed tomorrow night now. š¤¦š»āāļøš
Itās the return of the Crochet Hookers tonight so Iām off next door to the pub to get my hook on. And my alcohol free gin and slim.
So yesterday I randomly called the blog day 1400 because of course that follows from day 1359 š¤¦š»āāļøš NOTā¦.. hey Iāve done this every night for 1361 days so sometimes the concentration might slip š thatās my excuse anyway.
Thanks to an anonymous person on WordPress, for pointing it out. I laughed out loud when I read his comment. š
So back to day 1361 (I just typed 2361 thereā¦ one of those days!)
I had a more broken sleep last night. 7 hours 29 looks good but I felt like I was awake from 3am. My knee wasnāt agony but it kept twinging and waking me up.
As I write that I realise I STILL havenāt even opened the physio exercises yet?!? How hard is it to read a bit of paper?! Iām meant to be doing them 3 times a day.
Will do them after this. Promise.
Yesterday a dandelion wish flew out of a drawer I was clearing and floated up into the air. I thought how pretty it was and how random to see it in the middle of the office, in Januaryā¦. Then my friend Isy posted thisā¦
I messaged to tell her. Then this morning she gets this on her FB feedā¦ I love it when there is synchronicity like this.
I also typed the name of a supplier today and before Iād finished they were calling me! I love it!
So Iāve been in a good mood today. Iāve been working on pricing spreadsheets all day so Iām a bit square eyed but I enjoyed it. Compiling data. My fav.
Iām tired tonight. Craigās working and I was planning to get lots done but actually Iām quite comfy sitting in on the couch relaxingā¦. Which is all I ever do on these winter nights. Itās hard to break that habit as I enjoy the chill out time after a working day.
I love this next one.
And this is so trueā¦.
So thankfully I release just about everything that goes on in my mind these days. No chance of me suppressing anything much. š
Nothing much else to report. There was a lovely sky when I left work at 4ā¦ such a shame the view is from an industrial estate!
It was light all the way home, which is lovely and the first time Iāve really noticed it. There was a lovely sun setting sky from the back garden too.
The pups are asleep and I have my feet up. Early night for me I think. Mrs spreadsheet head!
EDIT: So for some reason my brain went from day 1359 to day 1400 and thanks to āanonymousā for pointing that out. It made me laugh a bit too hard!!! title amendedā¦ blog as it was!
******************
Wow, I wished Iād had a more exciting day for day 1400 but sadly notā¦. Days 1358 and 1359 have blown everything this week out the water š still, Iām focussing on enejoykng the present moment so I didnāt wish the day away.
The pillow under my leg in bed is still working a treat. No sore knee overnight, Iām soooooo pleased about that. Even after that run and two walks yesterday, itās ok sleeping. Itās sorer sitting at my desk than anything else.
So another frosty day but a lot less sunshine today. It was bitter.
This is Craigās windscreen this morning., his car hadnāt been out since Saturday lunch.
Mine wasnāt as bad as weād been at Gro Coffee last night.
I love thisā¦. my friend Isy posted on FB today. She shares a lot of amazing things and I very rarely give her credit.
Itās beautiful.
Itās been soooo lovely to see the blue sky and sunshineā¦. Especially the fact there is no wind and rainā¦. It does feel like quiet time.
So work, stop for diesel and food shopping on the way home. This made me laugh.
So Iām just gonna share some more photos from the wonderful weekend.
Another great day in the lifeā¦. Though some random anxiety mid dayā¦ š¤·š»āāļø
I slept like a log last nightā¦. Not surprising I guess after 10.7k in a kayak and all that sea airā¦ but I did have my knee up on a big pillow at the physioās advice. That seems to have made a difference, though tonight will be the real test as Iāve used my knee a lot today.
I went for a walk/jog/run with Rachel two doors downā¦. And we actually ran for most of the route, itās so good to be back out there running jogging!
We did Tough Mudder together in 2022 and ran at a really similar pace. We stopped when either of us needed to and we both felt tired at different times. Neither of us actually like running, which is half the battle!
So at 10am today in the freezing cold thick frost, we gingerly set off. Baby jog steps!!
Selfie in motion!
Itās another stunningly beautiful day.
The roads were slippy!
We walked down the two slippy hills just to be on the safe side but did run most of the way.
Donāt think either of us expected that. Just plodding along at the same speed makes all the difference. We both donāt like to hold anyone up if weāre running with someone faster. It makes it less enjoyable.
So it wasnāt much, it ended up being 23 minutes but I think thatās a really good start.
Itās way more than I managed during the Christmas holidays. All in all today, 15,877 steps so far!
When I got in, I was still quite fired up so took Calaidh up the hillā¦..
Everything is so pretty in the frost.
Then who suddenly appeared?!? Nacho with Rachel!! Heās off to catch Calaidh!
The Garnock valley looks stunning with the the fog over Kilbirnie loch.
I came home and did housework before Criag and I took the dogs over to the field across the road. This is where my anxiety aroseā¦..
Iām overwhelmed walking four dogsā¦ itās just completely above my pay grade. I imagined sooooo many things going on. I felt really anxious but instead of holding it all in, I did tell Craig. I didnāt want to spoil the walk and I knew I would if I held it all inside.
He wanted to take them down to Irvine beach park but I was worried there would be too many dogs down there.
When we were in the field I was upset by Khaleesi barking so much, which she does as she has funā¦. I thought the dogs might get out the field, was worried someone else would come in the field and we shouldnāt be there. You name itā¦ floods of anxiety.
Hereās the Scottish Dog Behaviourist sitting on a tree stump, calling a client who had some questions, while we were in the field.
The dogs had a blast!
I didnāt actually relax until we got home.
I need to do some work on that.
Hereās Leesi in her new coat. Bless her.
We decided to head to Gro Coffee in Irvine as I got vouchers from Craigās mum and stepdad for my Christmas.
The sun was just starting to set when we arrivedā¦.not a breathe.
Love the way these flats are lit up by the sun.
You canāt book in Gro and they said it would be a 45 minute waitā¦. So I dragged Craig towards the sunset.
Look at the reflections! My friend Helen will be so proud of me for looking at the reflections.
TEN MINUTES later Gro called and we had to rush back!! Thereās a bank of cloud running along the base of Arran so I think the actual sunset would have been stunning but we had to head back.
All of these were taken while walking very fast!!
Our food was the usual Gro standardā¦. Lovely! meat feast pizza, chicken tenders, halloumi fries and skin on fries.
So all in all, minus this afternoonās anxiety, Iāve had THE best weekend.
It looks like it will be frosty and sunny most of the week. Long may it continue.
What an amazing day. Oh my wordā¦. Just out of this world.
I am SHATTERED writing this but that could be because I had to sleep on the couch again last night due to my bad kneeā¦. And the fact that Lindsay and I have kayaked 10.7K today from the Largs Pencil to Fairlie Pier, Fairlie, Hunterston Pier and beyondā¦ then back.
Itās been a beautiful day, wall to wall sunshine and a real warmth to the sun, time spent with the best mentor and great chat!!
Now Iād like you to take the time to read this and remember that itās only a few years since I sat in Granās chair and could barely manage to shower, clean my teeth or walk the dogs.
Here I am this morning in my dry suit! (This was gifted to me by a random lady we met in Castle Semple car park in Lochwinnoch, saving me about Ā£300!)
We parked at Largs Marina and got the kayaks all ready to go. Thatās the Largs Pencil in the distance, with the Largs ferry a tiny dot on the horizon!
The sun was so low we couldnāt see a thing to take this photo but apart from a lot of teeth, it work out fine! š
The sea was like a millpond.
Iāve missed this beautiful weather so much over the last few months.
It was actually quite warm in the sun.
Following Lindsay! Sheās a great teacher and has all the safety equipment to keep me safe. This is my first time in the sea and the sea is not to be taken lightly.
We kayaked carefully, past the entrance to Largs Marina and carried on down to the Fairlie Pier.
And went right under it!
And out the other side!
We stopped for lunch on Fairlie Beach.
It was just beautiful.
Had to get the obligatory kayak photo in the water! Thatās the isle of Great Cumbrae in the foreground to the right, Little Cumbrae to the left and Arran in the background.
Looking back to Fairlie as we leave.
We watched two tugs move this massive barge, full of large rocks, over to Great Cumbrae, to help build its flood defences.
Now heading to the Hunterston Pier.
Lindsay got some photos of me, just to prove I did it!
How beautiful is this?!?!? The viewā¦. Not me š
We came back under both piers.
Honestly I have another million photos but these were some of the best.
I have had THE most amazing day. Itās not lost on me that for so long I thought life, as I knew it, was over.
My life is SO much better than it ever was. I have ALWAYS wanted to kayak out in the sea. We never knew Lindsay and Euan back then. Now we do, and they are so kind to lend us their equipment and help teach me.
Lindsay was so patient and safety consciousā¦. Thereās not need to be scared. I was slighly anxious last night but absolutely buzzing ALL day today.
Life changes in ways you will never believe it possible.
Itās important to keep believing that.
If itās bad for you just now, just be patient and try to be as grateful as you can, for all that you currently have.
Wait till you hear about my morningā¦ honestly, even I donāt believe what I spent the morning doing!
I had an amazing nightās sleep, out for the count all night. Iām so grateful for that.
I felt super refreshed.
I got up at 8, let the dogs out, fed the dogs, poop scooped the garden, took all the recycling to the bins and I felt so good after it all. I know how crazy that sounds. I get an amazing sense of calm when things are in order.
Itās a beautiful morning. Itās cold but no wind or rain and the sky is a lovely colour. Not good enough for photos but lovely nonetheless.
I made freshly ground, steaming hot, black coffeeā¦. I write that and smile as itās all about how you describe it. It was just a pot of black coffee but as I poured it, I thought of that wonderful description. It was a new bag of coffee beans that Iād bought from Curiosity coffee shop.
It was the nicely freshly ground coffee weāve tried.
I then headed upstairs and sat with my Self Care Journal and filled out the first lot of pages. My main purpose in lifeā¦ the things I enjoy, the things that make me happy and the things that get in the way of that happiness.
How do I feel emotionally, spiritually, in my friendships and relationships, environmentally, socially and then some.
What do I want to focus on this month?
I loved every minute of it.
I used a nice penā¦ why does that matterā¦. But it did.
I used some nice stickers! One that said today was a big day as I started to work in the journal.
I hear myself right now. I have NEVER done anything like this before and in fact I was scoff at those who did. Probably only because I was envious of their clarity of mind and vision that they wanted to do so much work on themselvesā¦ when I was barely holding it together.
It feels like time. Itās time to take back control of my life. No more boredom, feeling life is passing me byā¦. Iām going out to get it.
I did take this photo and send it to Craig. One is the bed made by a man and one is the bed made by a woman. š¤
He replied with āwhich one did I do?!? Love you xxxā I laughed out loud!!
Khaleesi and Freya had a good snooze while I did all the hard work.
I then went for a shower and found a playlistā¦. 100 most uplifting songs everā¦. And played that and sang along to it as I showered.
I was buzzing and I felt so alive.
I had physio for my knee at 12.40. It was an NHS appointment and the nurse was lovely. She asked so many questions about the pain, about family history of arthritis, about my psoriasis and she gave both knees a good workout to see what the issue was. Sheās scheduled me for blood tests on 16th January to look for inflammatory disease and has given me exercises to do up to 3 times a day. Sheāll call once the blood test results come back.
I then picked up Gayle and we headed to Curiosity coffee shop in Beith. I had a mint oat milk latte with Rocky road and Gayle had a hot chocolate with Cookies and Cream cake.
It was a lovely catch up, chat, coffee and cake!! We just joined 3 other folk at the table and chatted away.
We then went to Gayleās wholesaler in Glasgow for SALE stickers for her Christmas sale when she opens back up in January.
When we left I drove on the wrong side of the road!!!!!
I couldnāt think what side of the street to on and chose the wrong one?!?! Thankfully it was a quiet street. Gayle kept me right!!
We headed to Silverburn shopping centre but I didnāt feel quite right after that. I was a bit dizzy and lightheaded. not sure if it was too much caffeine, dehydration or not enough food. It could have been any of themā¦. I felt very fuzzy headed.
We had a good wonder around the shops but the feeling never really left.
Home now and I do feel better after having had dinner. Comfies on and feet up. Itās been a busy day after so long doing nothing.
A very purposeful day.
Iām so surprised that I wanted to do this. So proud that I have and excited to see what it brings.
The Rambling Sloth š¦„ 