Day 1456 when in Rome do what the Romans do! 🇮🇹🏛️♥️

Wow.

I have not stopped since 7am and it’s 18.02 and I’m waiting on the train to my hotel.

I have had the most breathtaking day where I visited the Vatican Museums, The Sistine Chapel and St Peter’s Basilica. I made two friends on the tour and we went to meet another girl I’d arranged to meet for lunch. We had lunch, then went to the Castel Sant’Angelo.

I am absolutely knackered but it’s been an amazing and really wonderful day.

First stop at Peter’s Square before my tour began. it’s 8.30am. The queues are very long already.

I don’t think anything can prepare you for the grandeur of the Vatican. I feel liked it’s way beyond anything I have ever seen before.

I was super early for my tour so I stopped for an iced coffee…… not decaf 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I toured with Brastours and there was no real logic to my choice, it was just a guided tour which I randomly selected. You get an earphone and you can hear the tour guide as she talks into a microphone. It so clear. it also skips the lines as they call them so you’re guaranteed immediate entry.

This is just inside the Vatican and the first view of St Peter’s Dome.

Right about here the coffee started palpitations 😂😂😂 I felt really dizzy and lightheaded and thought I was going to faint… thankfully it passed.

I got speaking to another lady who felt exactly the same as me and she thought it was the one headphone in one ear making her feel a bit off balance.

Tilt your head for extra dizziness… these are the Vatican Gardens. Beautiful.

I have never been anywhere as busy as this. The Vatican gets 45,000 visitors A DAY!!! Imagine how much money they must make but there must be some amount to upkeep it too.

The next shots are all photos from the Vatican Museums.

I saw so much today and listened to 3 hours of commentary… it’s impossible to remember most of it.

I do remember this was one of the first statues of Venus, depicting the female body.

There are literally thousands of people walking around. At any point in time the museums are full of people, you have to do some sneaky moves to get photos which the hundreds of people between you and the statue.

Look how many people are in here!

As we head down into the Sistine Chapel we are not allowed any photography but our guide had talked us through everything we were about to see.

Once again, nothing can prepare you for the beauty and the opulence of the Sistine Chapel. Michelangelo lay on his back for 4 years on high scaffolding and painted it all. So obviously no photos but it’s a sight to behold.

Did I mention we had to wear long trousers and a long sleeved top for this visit? It’s hot but respectful.

We then head into St Peter’s Basilica behind me…. It is the biggest church in the world.

This is the tomb of Pope John Paul II.

I think this mosaic is Raphael’s but I’m second guessing that now.

The two ladies I spent the tour with, Sandra and Helen, asked me what I was doing this afternoon and I told them I was meeting a girl from a solo female travellers group, for lunch. They asked to tag along as it would be a good recommendation for lunch if an Italian had booked it.

So we spent the rest of the afternoon together.

Back to the Vatican.

Then to the Castel Sant’Angelo. There’s a tunnel linking the Vatican to the Castel so the Pope could escape in times of trouble!

I have so many more photos of the day but the blog is not loading properly so I will stop it there.

You are never alone when you are alone. There are always special people that you meet along the way. Solo women travelers are a support network like no other. I felt very privileged to be a part of that lovely group today. Thanks to a Sandra and Helen for looking after me on the tour and thanks to a Melanie for being our American Italian guide for the afternoon!!

I will sleep like a very happy girl tonight and get up tomorrow and do it all again. Colosseum style.

Stay safe everyone 🇮🇹🏛️♥️

Day 1455 when in Rome! (I had to call it that… 😆)

It’s really been a day of different emotions. If you haven’t been following, this is my first split trip abroad in about 19 years.

Poor Craig is working all weekend and I fancied some sunshine and found this trip to Rome.

I had a great nights sleep, which surprised me, though I did remember to take the progesterone which was something. That always helps me sleep. I felt calm when the alarm went off at 4.35am, there was no nerves or worry.

I got ready and we left the dogs sleeping so I didn’t have to do that goodbye… and I drove to the airport in Bertie Beetle. That helped focus my mind and not let it wander.

When Craig drove away I had a bit of a wobble. I checked in with Jet2 and the young girl said, “oh you’re travelling alone? That’ll be lovely” and the tears welled up and I couldn’t speak properly.

This weekend was my idea. I booked it and yet I’ve created some kind of mental turmoil for myself ever since. I’ve been surprised at the fear I’ve felt.

I walked into the main terminal to head to departures and the two women in front of me were whispering about me. Cringe.

I literally felt like a flashing light waking through the airport as if everyone was watching me.

Just before we boarded the plane I met a guy that I used to work with in my old job. I told him how nervous I was… I told anyone who would listen.

I sat next to a lovely couple on the plane from Knightswood and we chatted for most of the flight. They don’t drink either. Denise gave me her phone number in case I was stuck when I was here. How lovely.

Her husband Simon was sitting at the window so he took some photos with my phone. That’s the Austrian Alps!

When we landed I met another woman and her son and we got a bit lost together!!

At baggage reclaim I found my old work colleague again. I left them to go and find my transfer only to end up sharing the transfer with them, although they are staying somewhere else.

What are the chances that, miles away from home and end up sitting with someone I worked with for 12 years!!!

There are no other photos of my trip until after 3.30pm, my head just wasn’t in the game. Even although I was talking to friendly people, I still felt quite overwhelmed.

The Aparthotel Adagio Vatican is fine. It’s nice enough but a bit run down…. As suspected it’s also miles out from the city. I took this on the way back in the evening.

I have a small apartment with a seating area. It is quite basic but it’ll do fine.

The tears spilled over again when the receptionist asked if anyone was joining me.

I can’t believe how emotional I have felt about being on my own.

The hotel is right next door to the train station.

She gave me all the details on the trains and told me to go to the Tabac on the other side of the train station to buy a 3 day ticket.

That’s been my fear since I finally figured out how far out the hotel was…. The travelling across Rome.

Here I am heading down an escalator into the station.

I am a new woman.

Gone is the quivering wreck, replaced by Mrs Practicality. Into the Tabac, bought a ticket, into the station, no fear at all. It felt like the most normal thing in the world.

When you suffer from anxiety you just have no idea when it will strike and when it will disappear. It’s been completely the opposite doe me today. I expected the travel to be easy and the negotiating Rome to be terrifying. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

So now that’s out the way… let’s get to the good bit.

I got some advice for a Fb group called “solo in style: women over 50 travelling solo and loving it”…. Full of very inspirational women. They suggested I look up Romewise who detail what you should do when you’re in Rome for the first time for 2.5 days… eh moi!!

Day 1 is

The Spanish Steps
Piazza Navona
The Pantheon
The Trevi Fountain

I had them all in my sat nav as I knew I’d never remember the order.

I got the train from Balduina Station to Villa Aurelia. Only the second time I’ve ever seen a double decker train.

I changed at Villa Aurelia onto the Meteo and headed to Spagna where I immediately found the Spanish Steps.

What struck me most, as you’ll see, is that it was heaving. There were thousands of people.

Everyone is trying to get the perfect shot, the perfect pout, the perfect selfie that it felt really sad and I wondered if I was just as bad. I’ve never been aware of the Instagram or TikTok culture as much before. It was all about the shot.

I went into the Trinità dei Monti at the top of the Spanish Steps. It’s behind the Obelisco Sallustiano.

It’s a 16th century church with beautiful views across Rome.

Back down the steps.

I then headed to the Piazza Navona taking random shots on the way.

This is Piazza Navona.

Again… heaving!

Next stop is only 5 minutes away, the Pantheon.🏛️ it’s a format Roman temple and has been a Roman Catholic Church since AD609.

It’s looks very old.

It was so busy that I didn’t bother to queue to get in. There were two huge queues and I was already 4.30pm and I hadn’t eaten much.

I walked around the back instead.

I can’t remember what this was but it looks quite unassuming…was a stunning church inside.

Nothing would prepare me for the Trevi Fountain.

It is just beautiful and break taking… however, this is the reality…..

A crazy amount of people!!!!! It’s been a long time since I’ve seen crowds of people like this. All posing, vying to get the best shot of themselves in that place.

I found a lovely little roadside bar, La Fontinella and sat down for garlic bread, veggie pizza and an alcohol free beer.

Loving life.

The hotel is so far out that I want to get home before it gets dark so I thought I’d come and sit by the pool.

The pool doesn’t open until MAY!!! I brought two bikinis. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 I must get help with my next city break hotel booking. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So I sat on my balcony and watched the sun set over Rome.

The end to a lovely day. A loud day and a busy day. A very emotional day but I am here. I have done it and I’m excited for the Vatican tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Day 1454 the day before my solo trip to Rome! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿✈️🇮🇹

Ok so let’s be clear here, the version of me that booked a solo trip to Rome for this weekend, is most definitely not the version of me that woke up this morning.

There were tears while I was still lying in bed. Not just a wee tear, I wanted a good bubble.

What have I done? Why am I putting myself through this. Why am I so scared.

Despite booking what I thought was a central hotel, it seems that mine is a “little out of the way” so I will need to use public transport which so many people have told me not to use. I can’t get a taxi as they overcharge tourists, on the buses and the metro pickpockets will steal from you. If I’ve heard once about pickpockets and scammers, I could write a book on it!

We also know that while this is a possibility, the same can be said of anywhere, any city.

What does my anxiety do with all this?!? Build it up into a huge crescendo that ends in tears.

Why don’t I just cancel?

Because… I have to do this. I am not looking forward to it in the slightest and yet I know I will have a fantastic time, and wonder what all the fuss was about.

I’m nervous about the flight, I’m nervous about being on my own… she who LOVES her own company. I’m nervous about where I will keep my money and phone. I take a million photos, is someone going to pinch my phone out my hand? Do I carry a rucksack too as I’ll need suntan lotion and a hat. I’m nervous about how I get to, and find, the Vatican and the Colosseum for my tours. I’m nervous about where I will eat. I have cereal bars packed just in case. Of course I do! 😂

It’s exhausting…..

Poor Craig has been amazing this week helping with all my techy stuff. He’s organised all the chargers etc. and he’s tried to be excited for me, when he’s the one being left at home, then he gets the wailing Julie to have to console. Hard work eh?!

I’m writing this before work to try to get it out of my head.

I haven’t been living in the present moment at all this week. I even forgot to take my progesterone and change my HRT patch last night. I’m all over the place.

Breathe.

All those good words didn’t change my head as much as I’d hoped.

Work was good but the incessant rabbiting voice inside my head had not gone away.

A lovely Italian lady I used to work with has sent me her mobile number in case I’m stuck, she says she has family in Rome that would help me if I needed it. How lovely is that?!? Thanks Alice 😘

I also joined a solo female travellers group and one of the women has given me her number and suggested meeting for lunch one day. That might not work as both my tours are in the morning but again, how lovely of her to offer.

Yet still my head is screaming at me. If wants to be wrapped up in the drama of it all, the what ifs?

I said yesterday, my biggest problem is that I need time to relax and decompress on a daily basis and I haven’t been able to do that as there have been too many things needing done.

I’m sitting outside Viv’s Nails, waiting to get my toenails done, randomly booked for tonight, over a month ago. I feel the calmest I have done today.

How can this be my life’s dream… to travel and yet I allow it to cause me so much stress?!? Go figure.

My what ifs are bundled into some giant tornado.

If you told me you were going to Rome for the weekend, I would be so very envious. 😂

I have to just rip the band aid off and do this.

We can all sit and say I told you so when I’m bouncing around Rome tomorrow, loving the weather and the vibe.

I made another lovely dinner tonight from Planthood. Spicy Turmeric & Lemongrass Laksa With Rice Noodles, Crispy Oyster Mushrooms & Aubergine.

I have to say it was my least favourite. I took a photo with my favourite bush as a backdrop… as you do!

So that’s all from me. I’m sorry for all the drama this week but I’m telling it how it is. Most holiday posts just show the wonderful photos and not all the feeling behind it. i ladle it on!

Keep an eye on my FB and instagram pages but I’m going to do my best to soak it all up, once the fear has past! I don’t want to spend the whole weekend on the phone so I may not manage full blogs but I’ll see how it goes.

I will catch you all on the Italian side. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿✈️🇮🇹

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1453 a much calmer Wednesday ♥️

I had a great nights sleep apart from one thing…. I decided it was a good idea for a Khaleesi to sleep in with us.

Instead of heading to her room for bed, she stood at our closed door and looked at me with the saddest eyes…. And I caved! 😂😂😂

She had my covers all night…. But it must have only woken me a few times, or I would have moved her. I just couldn’t get enough cover out from under her, for my left arm! She was very happy though.

There was a lovely red sky this morning.

On national Unicorn Day 🦄😂

I am much calmer today.

I feel much better that I have some trips booked for when I’m away. I still have lots of concerns and anxieties but I know that that’s all they are.

I’ve called my travel insurance to make sure I’m covered, got Craig to check our mobile phones are covered under our mobile phone insurance, I’ve told both banks I’m going to Italy…. Craig said I worry too much!!

Has he met his wife?!?!? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

My bag is mostly packed. I’ll finalise more tonight. I also want to look at a map of Rome and get my bearings.

Hmmmmm…. I am really looking forward to some sunshine. ☀️☀️☀️ Sunday is the hottest day…. This’ll do nicely!

Actually that’s gonna be pretty hot considering it’s about 6.5°C today. It has rained ALL day today. Everything looks soaking wet. The sky is so heavy and foggy.

I’ve had a good day. It’s been a good week at work. A good buzz.

I also made another lovely, colourful dinner tonight….. Sticky Teriyaki Tofu Bowl With Purple Sprouting Broccoli & Pickled Cabbage Over Sushi Rice.

I think Freya is actually licking her lips!

I’m listening to another Mel Robbins podcast, called What Makes a Good Life.

She said that when she was younger she spent way too long looking at the curtains, deciding on the brand and the fabric… she never looked out at the view.

Wow.

That really spoke to me.

Until I was off sick, I never stopped to look out at the view. Now material things don’t really mean anything to me. It’s such a lovely feeling to want less rather than constantly wanting more.

We will not always be happy.

We will have days where we are far from happy. There will be days that are incredibly sad, days where things seem impossible to overcome, but as my friend Ruth has always said to me, we will survive 100% of these days. As awful as they seem, these are the moments that define us.

Dare to be Happier on FB shared this.

The way to happiness is to spend time building healthy relationships with others…. Says she heading off on holiday alone 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

All very wise words.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1452 right out my comfort zone!

Have you ever done something you really wanted to do and then stopped and thought, oh jeez, what have I done?!?

I’ve created the perfect storm in my head. I’m building stress and tension by the minute.

I think the main issue is that I’ve booked my Rome weekend with such short notice. I only gave myself 4 days to remember what we wear in 26°C heat, while waking round a city, which I’ve not done for years. I’ve also felt pressure to book the main tourist attractions in advance. I’d hate to go all the way there and not get in to something at the last minute.

So I didn’t sleep well last night at all, my head is buzzing…. Overwhelmed with far too much information. I feel like you need a degree to try booking a trip to the Vatican. There are so many options and prices, I swear it’s designed to bamboozle.

Every time I sat down calmly to look, I got drawn into wormholes and seem to go round in circles. So at lunch today, I found an article and read it all the way through, without reading all the pop ups.. and finally booked for the Vatican Museums, the Sistine Chapel and St Peter’s Basilica. It’s at 10am on Saturday morning. My hotel is only 3km away so that gives me plenty of time to get there.

I have also booked a tour for Sunday morning at 10am. The Colosseum, Roman Forum and Palatine Hill tour.

If that is all I do then I think it will be more than enough.

That calmed my head immediately…… but I really struggle having to do things in the evening, when I want to write the blog and relax.

I ironed some clothes last night and need to finalise what I’m taking. I make it seem like a chore rather than fun holiday prep.

I’m sorry, I hear myself but I promised I’d be honest in this blog and tell it warts and all.

I’m driven to step out my comfort zone. I want to travel as I know how good it makes me feel and yet I freak once I’ve done it and remember how much I hate flying!! 😂

Ok I’ll shut up now…. I’m gonna do a meditation before bed tonight to try to calm my racing thoughts.

I made another lovely dinner tonight. Kimchi Miso Nourish Bowl With Farro, Charred Purple Sprouting Broccoli & Pak Choi. Don’t think I’ve ever eaten Farro before. As usual a it was really lovely.

I took it outside to eat in the sun… although it was very windy… it blew some cobwebs away.

My favourite bush is looking beautiful in the low sun.

The colour matches my dinner.

I’m gonna stop feeling sorry for myself and appreciate the excitement of a holiday.

Stepping out of our comfort zone isn’t always easy… but it will be worth it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1451 I was up at 5.22am making Pad Thai for lunch 😆

First things first, here’s where my heads at…. Great English huh?!?

I’ve decided to go to Rome and it’s soooo last minute, I’ve created a pile of stress for myself where I could have just had a quiet weekend at home pottering.

Instead I’m flying half way across Europe to visit a city I know nothing about, in less than FOUR days.

My mind is a whirr of activity. In true Julie fashion, I want to do it right. I want to see everything in the right order at the right time, I’m not adding commas to that sentence as there are none in my inner voice.

I also want to relax and enjoy the sun. I want to avoid the crowds. So many people have warned me about pick pockets that it does worry me. I’m actually getting anxious writing all this so I need to stop giving it houseroom.

I will be fine.

I pretty much know exactly how I will feel.

I will be truly alive.

I’ll be buzzing to share it all with you. Even although I’ll be alone, I will always thinking about what photos to take and what to write to make the blog the best story of my trip.

I just love it.

I saw this first thing today…

I have been to rock bottom and as awful as it was, I am so grateful that it happened as it’s opened up a whole new world for me.

The closer I got to the heights of my career the worst I felt. My mountain top was terrifying. It wasn’t where I wanted to be. It was where society expected me to aspire to. I never realised at the time that constant promotion was only compounding my unease. It wasn’t imposter syndrome, although there was a bit of that, I was never going to be the person that the job needed me to be. I’m not political, I don’t stretch the truth, I want to be honest. I wasn’t allowed to be the best version of myself.

This really hit me today.

Today I get to be the best version of me.

I get to speak my truth and choose my own path.

Everything I do is planned last minute, based on how I might be feeling and also based on the weather. I have no plans. I’m winging it all…. But I feel proud of the way my 2024 is shaping up.

A lot of deep thinking there… so back to 5.22am.

I got out of bed to make Pad Thai for lunch… yup I am that person.

It was really lovely at the time but a bit dry by the time lunch came.

We had another busy Monday. The phone didn’t stop, I sat at my desk at 8am and felt like I blinked and it was 4pm!

I came home and made Black Bean Chilli Enchiladas Topped With Cashew Cheese Sauce & A Zingy Cherry Tomato Salsa…. Precisely!

Soooo tasty!!

I used the new mixing bowl that mum got for me, thanks Mum!

It made a huge difference not spilling everything all over the worktop. 😂

So that’s me for today. Will leave you with a Calaidh photo from this morning before work.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1450 a lovely Sunday with a surprise city break booking!! 🇮🇹

What a crazy day.

I woke at 7am and decided I wanted to go away next weekend. As I do.

I spoke to Craig to make sure there’s nothing else on and started looking.

The weather is wet and windy again next weekend so a train trip to Arisaig didn’t seem that appealing. (Should say here that I would love to go to Arisaig at the weekend but not if I get soaked everytime I go outside)!

I then went on to Skyscanner… of course I did.

On Friday 15th April I am flying to Rome for 3 nights!!!

Wow. No one is no more surprised than me!

I am equal parts excited and terrified.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Life is short and is for living.

Now.

I almost backed out as I was booking it… a million anxieties ran through my mind. Why would I put myself through the nerves of doing this? Why am I spending this money? What if I’m too scared to go? What if I’m lonely? I don’t drink so can’t just have a glass of wine somewhere? On and on and on…. But I still booked it!

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

I’ve paid a wee bit extra to fly with Jet2 so that I can get coach transfers to my hotel. I also have a hotel with a pool so I have somewhere to relax to if it all gets a bit much. Jet2 also offer 24 hour hotline support so there’s someone I can call if I need it. I can’t ask for much more than that.

Craig is working next weekend, and has never fancied Italy, so that’s the main reason I chose it. He’s really supportive of me travelling… though obviously wishes he could have a holiday too!

So yeah, check me. Excitement and nerves!!

Also I have to get the Monday off work too… eeek!

Other than that bit of dramatic news, I spent the day writing a bit of the book I kind of think I’m writing and headed up to Braehead to spend some Primark vouchers I got for my birthday and Christmas!

The weather is wild today, again! Even the drive to Braehead was pretty hair-raising.

I didn’t get the denim skirt but I did get the jumper.

Also got it in gray. It’s super lightweight but cosy at the same time. It will be great for layering.

I didn’t get the furry body warmer but it was super cosy!!

I got this T-shirt in this colour and in white and that was my vouchers spent!

Thanks Evelyn and Stuart & Lee!

A few pupper photos to end with.

Holding Bhru’s paw!

Big yawn! Sometimes I think we got a dog to match the couch in the sunroom 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂

Appreciate any Rome suggestions anyone may have?

Hope you’ve all had a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1449 an amazing Saturday with a powerful message ♥️

I have a had a lovely day…. So far…. It’s only 5pm.

It’s been full of a little bit of everything. Exercise, laughter, friendship, sadness, love and of course dog walks and housework.

Before I even start I feet truly blessed to have had such a lovely day…. It’s ok, I hear myself 😂 today has been a normal Saturday but I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it, in the present moment.

It started at 6.20am…. The alarm went off after the perfect sleep. It was the hardest thing ever to get out of bed but I did as I’d arranged to go running with Rachel two doors down, her sister Lynsey and Emma.

We ran from Coldstream Mill.

We run just over 3 miles. I was so chuffed I managed to keep up until the very end when I felt a wee bit sick. 🤢

It’s the calm before the storm.

Spotted these wee lambs, obviously freshly born. 🐑

There’s lots of flood water after yesterday’s rain.

I was very red… but really proud of myself!

I drove Rachel home and we went out to walk Nacho and Calaidh.

Then I was straight back out with Bhruic and Freya!

The daffodils are out in full bloom!

More flooding…

Back home to pick up Khaleesi, it’s her turn!

She is so excited when she’s on a walk!

Love this nature with the man made…

All of this before 10am!!

When I got back home, I tackled the housework. The dogs are on the cusp of moulting session again so there’s a whole lot of hair to be hoovered up. I emptied the hoover 4 times. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s been great to get the house all clean…. Woe betide any man or puppy that might mess it up 😆😘

Claire came in for a cuppa over lunch time and it was great to catch up.

I did more cleaning and decided to make some lunch. I had fasted for 21 hours without even realising.

I made Kimchi noodle soup with enoki mushrooms, silken tofu, sesame gochugaru topping and fresh coriander.

It was soooooo good!!

I then sent a voice note to my lovely friend who received the inoperable cancer diagnosis over Christmas. If you remember I’ve never met her but she’s been a friend on FB for over 5 years now. She sent me so many lovely cards, books and gifts when I was off sick and struggling with depression. She showed me a light when all I could see was darkness.

We’ve been messaging with voice notes as it’s easier for her. I told her it was very windy today as Storm Kathleen is blowing across Scotland.

She sent me a message back to say she is very weak now and her voice is failing.

She said that she wished this hadn’t happened to her so she could have met me. She thanked me for being me, for every single thing that I am. She asked me to please believe in myself because she believed in me and, if I value her opinion, then I must know that she’s right. She said I am simply the absolute best of every good thing in this world and she told me that she loved me so much.

Wow. 🥰😢

Even in her darkest moments, she has the strength to brighten other people’s lives.

I can’t tell you what this lady has done for me. She showed me that there was a way out of the depression. She showed her love for a stranger because she saw something in me that may have mirrored her own life. She’s been such an inspiration and I truly hope that I can be the same for someone else some day. I will never forget her message today and I can never repay her, I can only pay it forward.

If that’s not a reason to live life to the full then I don’t know what is.

I have her husband’s phone number now so that I can keep in touch with him.

So yeah I’m gonna end it here tonight, I’m so full of gratitude and love and a few tears but I think that’s perfectly understandable.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1448 rail trip to Pitlochry to see Mum & Dad!

My alarm went off at 5.45am…. I woke at 3.11am to think about what I was wearing today. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Of course I did. It was a great sleep until then but obviously the rain, snow, cold etc was playing on my mind. Us over thinkers need to make time to overthink!

Craig got up to make me a decaf coffee which I ended up taking with me… and of course the first train is delayed… a 40mph restriction on the track due to the heavy rain overnight.

I got a bit antsy… I had a half hour to get across Glasgow before my next train. It was only delayed by 11 minutes but the restriction is making us later. Then FB shows me this.

Synchronicity ♥️

I did literally run across Glasgow from Central to Queen Street, a steady jog. I’m a bit dishevelled and out of puff but I made it!

Next stop Stirling!

Should say here with my Club 50 railcard, (oh my actual god, how much does that freak me out?!?) Glengarnock to Pitlochry cost me £39.75. Now I know I could drive for less than that probably, but my view is it keeps mileage down on the car and I get to look out the windows and see the world like a lady of leisure. That’s the plan…. 😂

Made it to Stirling with a half hour until my next train.

Of course Mrs overactive bladder always has to find the loo…

Closed due to flooding

😳

It will be fine. 😬

I survived…. I’m the blue dot 🔵 on the map!

The snow appeared just north of Stirling. all of these are taken from a moving train through tinted windows!

It’s very dull, misty and overcast…. All 3 of them but the snow is really pretty.

About to arrive in Pitlochry. There is no snow!!

What a lovely day we have had!! Mum and Dad met me off the train, such a shame this is blurry, they appeared as the southbound train pulled out the station and I was crossing the bridge!

They were all bedecked in waterproofs and I felt a bit under waterproofed!

The took me to Cafe Biba for lunch.

A lovely wee building, just like our house! I had the veggie breakfast but didn’t eat the egg… I’m still on this “not fancying meat” thing. I would eat it if it was put down in front of me but I’m just not able to choose it for some reason. I had a lovely soya decaf latte! Completely perplexed Dad!!

Mum and I went for a wander round the shops starting off with Heather Gems which was recommended to me, by Margaret, yesterday!

It’s a huge store where you watch them making the jewellery too…. Lovely!

We had a good wander around the shops, until 1pm when chauffeur Dad, as he said he was called, came and picked us up!!

We decided to head up to The House of Bruar just north of the lovely village of Blair Atholl.

This is a very posh shopping complex where you walk about and look at things that you can never really afford to buy! That’s a slight exaggeration… the shoes dad picked up were £435… I said he should get 2 pairs!! There were lots of photo opportunities though.

This is a cashmere jumper canoe!

The Troop London canoe.

The Yeti canoe. I think Craig will like this one!

Here’s mum in motion… this is the sit-ooterie for food!

We had another cuppa and a cake this time.

Think our village woodcutters need to up their game!

Even the fresh fruit and veg looks amazing.

We headed back down the road towards Pitlochry and stopped in Blair Atholl to look at the water wheel.

There was no water running through the burn at all…. Would you believe that this is the reason…

Maybe we got their rain in Ayrshire??? I feel like it’s rained all winter… just shows you!

Our next stop was the River Garry Bridge. It’s soooo high up!! this is the view looking north.

Looking south is so very different.

Then chauffeur Dad drove us to Faskally wood where I got a few photos of Loch Faskally.

We went back to the caravan for a quick pit stop to wait for my train home.

It’s started to rain by the time we got to the station to wait on the train.

We mucked about with the mini flower train!

As we waited the Royal Scotsman train pulled into Pitlochry heading north. It is stunning and as dad pointed out, everything that could be painted, has been painted! Click that link and get a look. It’s lovely.

If you zoom in, everything underneath it is spotless, every window had been cleaned, it’s an old train that’s pretty immaculate!

Think I’ll have to stick to the Inter7city for now!!

I’ve just pulled into Stirling but this is a direct train to Glasgow so I don’t have to get off here.

I’ve had a lovely day with Mum and Dad! I love that we are making new memories together. That feels important to me.

We need to plan our next adventure!

Only another hour and 45 until I’m home to Craig and the pupper bunch!

Have a great weekend!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1447 a testing Thursday!

It was a beautiful morning.

The sun was shining… a reminder that good weather always follows the rain. All of this is going through my head as I drive to work. It makes me smile. I wonder who I am on days like this. I should say it’s 3°C so will bitterly cold.

I drove to work this morning in a great mood. I was listening to my Happy playlist on Spotify. Mel Robbins suggested we make a playlist and we should use it to make us feel happy. Chesney Hawkes “I am the one and only” is my got to since I passed my driving test! That was a while ago… 😂😂.

I rarely listen to music. What I’m about to say here will make me sound crazy…. But it makes me “feel” too much.

I always seem to well up with emotion at the memories that certain songs stir. I can’t listen to a song without remembering where I was, or who I was with or what stage in my life it reminds me of. I find myself avoiding music and listening to podcasts. It’s safer.😂

I had a great wee sing this morning but it won’t happen often.

No one opened the gate for me today either but that was ok! I did it myself 😂

I got really anxious about something first thing and let it affect the rest of my day.

Then I upset a lady on a horse tonight, who said I was driving too fast…. I stopped dead as soon as I saw her even although she was on the other side of the road. She was really angry.

You know me. I apologised at the time. I drove off…. I felt awful. Then I was angry. Then I felt awful again. She who doesn’t like to upset anyone got a right dressing down. I guess it worked, as I will think of horses on every road I ever drive on from now on. Just another thing to add to the list of things to worry about.

I’m ok though, I’m actually good, just quiet and I’m now sitting outside in the garden… thinking… it’s cold but I’m enjoying the fresh air. I’ve swept up some leaves and I have the 4 dogs sitting out with me. It feels good to decompress.

My favourite bush is coming into bloom.

It would appear I’ve not been “on” HRT for much of this week. Every time I go to replace my patch, the one I want to remove, is not there. You’d think I’d realise at some point? Nope.. oblivious. Those wee patches must disappear into thin air. I never find them!

Despite all the negativity in my day, I had another great kinesiology session last night and felt very calm afterwards, I slept like a log.

The synchronicity….. I get an email from tut.com this morning which is exactly what Kinesiology was all about. ♥️

Tomorrow is rail trip day as I’m off to Pitlochry to meet Mum and Dad who are on holiday up there. The forecast is SNOW!!!

Least I’m not driving and it might make for some pretty pictures…. If it actually happens!

Have a great Thursday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1446 a rainy Wednesday but a clear head!

Wow what a quick day…. I did a stock check at work today and had a great wee time to myself… until I got back to my desk and tried to catch back up with the day to day!!

I seemed to have switched the wi-fi off on the laptop and was oblivious to anything other than my stock take!

All done for another month.

I had a great sleep last night but lay awake thinking I couldn’t believe I was so awake… my head thinking rubbish nights’ sleep…. Then the alarm went off. It was just time to get up. Our inner voice can be so harsh at times!

I had my left over dinner for lunch today…. It doesn’t look quite as tasty in a plastic tub. I was so full I didn’t eat any snacks for the rest of the day, oh apart from some banana bread!

Really strangely about an hour after it my face went bright red and refused to cool down. I’ve never had hot flushes and I don’t know if that’s what it was… I had the portacabin doors open and then had to take my long sleeved top off from under my work T shirt.

It was burning and while it’s cooler now there’s is still an underlying heat.

I made another lovely Planthood meal tonight.

Rich & Creamy Mushroom Stroganoff With Chickpeas, Baby Spinach, Basmati Rice & Fresh Parsley (copied that straight from the website!). I rushed it in time for Kinesiology but it’s delayed for a bit so now I’m chilling writing this while I wait. It’s good actually as I felt a bit too harassed!

The photo on the recipe shows mushroom stroganoff… mine shows chickpea (with mushroom) stroganoff 😂😂 it’s a bit runnier than it should be but it tastes lovely.

I haven’t had time to focus much on synchronicity today…. I did drive to work thinking the gate would be open.. it wasn’t… I laughed, got out and opened and it and drove through saying, I did that…. Honestly, the chat I have to myself😆

This is very true for me. I need to go with the flow

It has rained ALL day!!!

And finally… I’ve downloaded a course by Mel Robbins that I’m going to start.

It’s called Make it happen… ready to unlock your potential?!? Let’s see how it goes. My head is good just now. Normally I would say that something usually comes and wallops that out of me but I’m going to own my positive mind and keep working on it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1445 synchronicity ♥️🥰♥️

Tonight I’m going to talk about synchronicity. It’s been slapping me in the face all day and I love it.

I was listening to Mel Robbins’ podcast 3 ways to brainwash yourself to success, on the way into work.

She starts off talking about synchronicity… how many times do you have things happen to you that feel like coincidence? Do you have a voice inside of you that tells you something? Do you listen to it or brush it off.

She encourages us to listen to that voice and trust it and to see these coincidences as signs that we are on the right path.

This is the second blog I’ve talked about her podcasts… I sound like a super fan… 😆 just some of them speak to me. (Some of them equally do not!!)

I’m still trying to get up without scrolling through my phone first… I am finding that tough on the darker mornings.

I was just about to get into the shower today wondering what to make for lunch when Ellison text to say she was bringing lentil soup and a buttered roll for me!! No need to bring anything.

I drove to work today thinking I’d park inside our car park at work and I’m usually the one who opens the gates. I was driving along listening to the podcast and thinking how lovely it would be if the gates were open…. I got close and saw them and thought, never mind, they are closed…. And there was Ellison walking out to open them!!! She never does that but was in the car park for some other reason and thought to open the gate.

I thought today would be quite quiet and had already decided that I was going to keep busy and thought on all the things I would do as a result…. The day took off and I never got a minute to think about the things I was going to do.

I drove to the little gift shop tonight and said that I would get a space right outside the door and I did.

The key is to change your thinking from, ugh, the gates will always be shut and I’ll have to get out and get wet, ugh I’m going to be really bored today and ugh, I’ll never get a parking space.

I trust my gut 100% and I hear that inner voice talking to me all the time. Since my anxiety and depression, it’s very loud and tells me clearly what is not right for me. It screams at me sometimes. I also see signs EVERYWHERE!!

I also tested this theory… I said I was going to see a Highland Cow today and Visit Scotland just shared a FB reel of a herd of Highlanders running along a single track road… I didn’t specify in the flesh. 😂

Now this obviously isn’t always going to work 100% of the time but I love the positivity of it. Set your intention and claim it when it happens, smile to yourself… I did that!

I’m not a fan of all this windy weather that’s coming again… I don’t like the wind.. then my friend Isy shares this…

It’s 7.30 already and I’ve had a lovely evening… NOT watching tv.

I made a Planthood meal for dinner tonight.

Kimchi Pancakes With Sticky Soy Portobellos, Gochujang Mayo & Pickled Cucumbers

Sadly my pancakes stuck to the frying pan but I knew that was going to happen.. I manifested it by saying bet the pancakes stick to the frying pan 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 but it tasted really good.

I finished listening to the podcast and I’ve signed up to a free course Make it Happen with Mel Robbins. I’ll get started on that this week.

I’ve been sitting stagnating about some of the things I’m unhappy with recently and now is time to start taking action.

So that’s all from me tonight. It’s given me a wee spring in my step.

I know a few very good friends going through very difficult life changes just now. It is not my story to tell but I don’t want to leave it unsaid…. They are all in my thoughts and I’m sending lots of love. ♥️ A reminder that life is short and we should all make the best of it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1444 1st April 2024 🤡

You’ll be pleased to know the roads were extremely quiet this morning at 7am, due to the fact that the rest of the world seemed to have the day off. I’m so dramatic eh?!?

I had a rotten sleep last night. I was tense and woke a few times and eventually had to take ibuprofen to try and relax my muscles. It actually didn’t work, shouldn’t have bothered and should have tried to relax my mind more.

When the alarm went off, I was catapulted into the world from the deepest sleep. Nothing worse, it’s a horrible feeling, I felt hungover which is VERY unfair after 5 years and 3 months of the stuff.

I’ve been a bit meh all day. Acht that’s unfair, I’m fine, just a bit flat.

The weather was cloudy and cold all day. What a difference from the beauty sunshine yesterday.

The key is to appreciate the beauty in these days too. I’m very grateful to be healthy and to be living my life. I need to do something to mix it up a bit though. I’m in such a rut through the week. I cannot wait to get under a blanket, in front of the tv and I’m letting life pass me by. Food for thought.

It’s April Fools Day so I’ll link the post that Craig did on FB…. Scottish Dog Behaviourist April Fools.

I get a wee cameo at the end!!

This was my fav, which I knew wasn’t true the minute I read it.

Never in a million!!

I was reminded today of the one time I was completely caught out by an April Fools at work and really believed it. 😆

A bus operator was using smart paint technology to change the colour of the bus… if they drove up to a bus stop and the green route and there were people waiting, they would change the bus to green…. I couldn’t get my head around what happens if you got on a silver bus on the silver route and the driver decided to turn to the green route, what would you do?!?!?

I’ve inserted the video which most likely won’t work but I’m trying it anyway. It still makes me laugh.

So feet up in front of the tv feeling super comfy and cosy and relaxed. The faster life is for living another day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1443 Easter Sunday 2024 and finally some warm sunshine!

Our clocks went back last night. This made me laugh!

I have to say I’ve been neither up nor down about it. It hasn’t bothered me as much as it used to do when I hated my job. I’m looking forward to the very light evening!

Sunshine has been a long time coming. We are finally outside in the garden for the very first time this year. Out of the breeze it feels hot. It’s only 12°C but hey that’s pretty good for us!

Khaleesi is loving the sunshine! About time too, she says.

It’s so lovely to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin after so long. The last time I sat out in the sun was the start of October in Turkey with Gayle. I still remember the last embers of the sun, knowing it would be a while before we felt it again. I was pre-sad to leave!!

Yesterday was lovely but wrap up lovely. Today is sun-trap Sunday in the back garden. I say that as it clouds over, the wind picks up and it goes cool. Did I speak too soon?!?!

I’ve not stopped all day. I’ve weeded and picked up branches and leaves, I’ve swept the decking, I’ve washed all of the dog blankets and now must rinse the washing machine before anything else goes through it. It’s HAIRY!!

It’s a proper spring day. The birds have been chirping all day. There was one in particular this morning, that chirped the introduction to the Game of Thrones theme tune. I’ve been singing that all day! 😂

Since I said it was hot it’s been cloudy and cool but I’m still sitting outside.

I feel so at peace in the fresh air. Sundays aren’t always my best day and yet this one has been calm.

I took Calaidh for a walk up the hill and got her to pose next to some daffodils. She’s a good girl…

She’s so pretty!

She’s really thinking let’s get this over with!! We got up to the field at the top of the hill and I freaked as there were two deer 🦌 in the middle of it. I called her and got her on lead but we were up wind of them so she couldn’t smell them thankfully! they didn’t seem that bothered about her either.

She did chase this poor farm cat up a tree on the way home though! Poor wee thing was hanging on for deal like until I got Calaidh on the lead.

I only got a photo as I’m ready for anything when I’m out walking 😂😂😂

So that was the weekend. It’s 5.35pm and I’m sitting outside again. The breeze has picked up and is blowing stuff all over the decking I just swept!

It feels good to have done all that today.

Hope you’ve all had a lovely weekend and for those of you who get Bank Holiday Monday, enjoy your lie in. I will be mostly trying to appreciate the empty roads in the morning!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1442 dog walks, writing and a trip to Largs! ☀️☀️☀️

That’s two days in a row the forecast has said one thing and the weather has done the opposite. I’m not complaining. I’m sitting here right now….

I have my jacket off and even had my jumper off earlier. The sun has been shinging almost all day. It’s been cold but it’s beautiful now. I have fur lined boots and fleecy leggings on and I am pretty cosy.

I’ve found a new path and a new bench today. I’m in Largs but I parked at the Marina and walked from the Largs Pencil, into Largs. People have told me to do that a lot, I finally have!

The Pencil is a memorial to the Battle of Largs in 1263, between the Scots and the Norwegian Vikings.

It’s so lovely to see the sun and in between breeze gusts, feel the warmth of it. It’s been away for a LONG time! I am so ready for Spring and Summer.

I met up with Craig’s sister Lisa and my nephew and we played on the 2p machines for a wee while until I won a dolphin keyring! It’s been ages since I did that!! So serious!!

But the sun was calling. I’m like a caged lion being inside when the sun is out. I’ve also fasted for 19 hours so I’m ready for a cuppa. I sat outside in Indigo Eats Largs. It was a beautiful wee sun trap albeit, by the side of the road, it felt very European!

I haven’t washed my hair since Wednesday morning!

I could have sat there all day but the sea was calling. I walked up to the top of the promenade, turned back round and walked all the way back down to the Largs Marina where I’ve parked. I can’t bring myself to leave, it’s just so beautiful. I’m now perched on some rocks at the jetty!

Sunshine and blue sky is very good for the soul. 💙☀️💙☀️

Here are some more photos from the walk.

They are rebuilding the harbour wall up the top of the promenade. It looks like they are extending it into the sea a bit too.

Looking back down to Largs.

CalMac’s Loch Riddon seemed to stop sailing at 4pm.

My blogger friend The Windsor Waffle, thinks railings are my new thing… she might be right. It’s the shadows too!

My new favourite bench with a lovely dedication on it.

I’ve had a lovely day. I didn’t sleep that well, I tossed and turned like a tossey turney thing. If you ask Fitbit it says it was much better than it felt!

I got up at 7.30…. I’m still trying the no phone before natural sunlight but it’s hard. 😂

I took Calaidh and Bhruic for a run.

Then back to get Freya and take her up the hill. I left my phone to charge as it didn’t charge overnight.

I then really randomly sat down at my laptop and started to write…. I feel like I have a book in me. I say that and squirm because my head says not to be so ridiculous and my heart trusts that it might help some people. I wrote for about 3 hours just jotting things down.

Will see how it goes. I may never mention it again…. I feel drawn to help people but I’m not sure gallivanting around the world, with anxiety, is the best kind of business plan. 😂

On the way back from Largs I stopped at he Hailey Brae roadside view point. Wow.

The gorse bush is almost in full bloom with the Isle of Arran on the horizon.

Largs is just down in the foreground here.

I had the lookout to myself. It was so peaceful.

I love the calm. I love the peace. I love the sun. I love the blue sky.

I am very happy.

Stay safe everyone ☀️💙☀️

Day 1441 something nice about that number.. Good Friday 2024

It’s my day off today and I have zero plans for the next 3 days… nada, diddly squat, nowt.

That usually just opens up before me like a big hole in the ground but despite saying I’ve been freaking out, I’m actually looking forward to the relaxation. It’s been a busy few weeks.

We had a lovely meal last night at The Ship in Irvine. Our table was booked for 6pm coz that’s how we roll these days. It’s a lovely place.

Craig had Cullen Skink for starter and I had garlic mushrooms. Both were lovely.

Craig had fish and chips and I had vegetable pie…. In keeping with my random not eating meat thing.. it was really good.

Pinch my sundae and I’ll punch you. Not quite sure how I captured this random shot but it’s a good one… the dessert is mine.

This is a Tunnocks Ice Cream Sundae.

Tunnocks are a famous Scottish biscuit/cake brand and I have to say it tasted like a Tunnocks Teacake and a snowball all rolled into one!

It’s 1.30pm and I’ve been for a run with Rachel, walked Bhru by myself and walked Khaleesi and Freya with Claire… had a cuppa, tidied the house, hoovered, cleaned, put away washing, marvelled at the sunshine, put two new washings on and had a shower. Then I sat down in the silence and have almost fallen asleep.

The silence is lovely. I’ve only 3 dogs and they are fast asleep.

Showcasing my crochet here. 😂

Rachel and I headed out at 7.30am. It’s a beautiful morning. Here we are running!!

It’s such a lovely morning.

It’s all about the puddle reflections this morning. It must have rained heavily overnight.

There is a tiny reflection in this puddle!

This huge puddle shows how much it’s rained.

Love seeing the sun like this.

Bhru enjoying some one on one!

I headed back home and picked up Claire, Khaleesi & Freya!

We went into Spiers old school grounds and this huge tree has fallen over. As we walked towards it, it looked like a new, muddy pond… then I realised the tree was down and the water is the root bed filling up after the rain.

Freya having a wee chat with Khaleesi.

Freya getting cuddles from her Auntie Claire.

More reflections on the way back.

Claire came in for a cuppa and got kisses from Khaleesi!

So the weather went from warm in the lovely sunshine to torrential rain pretty quickly.

My in-laws came down this afternoon with our nephew this afternoon… to deliver Easter eggs!! We had a lovely catch up.

We also had a guy come out to fix our French doors at the back of the house. For over an hour we had 4 adults and a teenager AND 5 dogs all in one room…. So the guy had free rein to come in and out the house.!

So yeah that’s my Friday. Been a good day.

Hope you all have a great weekend. No Easter break for me as we work Monday but I’m looking forward to the next 2 days to chill.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1440 happy 14th anniversary to us! 🍾🥂

Craig and I married on Sunday 28th March 2010 in Houstoun House Hotel in Uphall…. We booked a hotel in the centre of Scotland as I’m from the East and Craig is from the West.

We met in July 2007 and pretty much knew straight away that we were meant to be together.

How time flies, I can’t believe it’s 14 years.

I love that I can still look at him across a crowded room and be proud he is mine. ♥️

I also sometimes want to scream at him in equal measure… but I know fine well that he feels the same way…..We’ve had our challenges but we’ve faced them together and stayed strong. That’s what marriage is all about.

I got a lovely elephant charm for my Pandora bracelet…. Not because I am the size of an elephant obviously…. Not because an elephant never forgets (but that is way too true!!) it’s because 14 years is Ivory!

I also got a bracelet where you can track the progress of a sloth. I’ve still to look at it properly, but I’ll be tracking Calypso the sloth very slowly wherever he/she is.

We’re rushing tonight after working all day and now heading out to dinner.

We’re off to the Ship Inn in Irvine so it’s just a quickie from me.

Happy anniversary Craigie, thanks for supporting me through everything and loving me as much as you do. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1439 4 years of my daily blog!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

4 whole years ago I started this blog…. I can’t honestly believe that something that started on a whim had become such a huge part of my everyday life.

I have always like talking…. Those of you who know me will agree to that…. Yet over these last few years I loved this silent kind of musing into my own head. I love my daily catch up with my mind.

Obviously there have been some days that I’ve not enjoyed writing, but that’s usually when something happens in the background that is really affects me, but it’s not my story to tell. Those days the blog feels like a chore. I’m not releasing anything, I’m skirting round the real issue and bottling it up inside. I know I could write a blog on those days and not post it… but that doesn’t seem to have the same appeal.

Why on earth have I decided to write down my every waking move and think that people will be remotely interested to hear what I have to say?!?

First of all, the Beith Townhouse asked for people to keep diaries in lockdown so that future generations would know what it was like… that was why I started. I published under Overland and Borders which is our Instagram page for over-landing. The Rambling Sloth was born about 125 or so days in.

To this day the Beith Townhouse probably have no idea that I did listen and took their request to heart… I’ve never told them, I’ve never seen them ask about it again but I just ploughed on regardless.

Secondly and more importantly, I’ve always felt a calling to talk about how I feel. I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression, lost my big job as a result and I want to scream from the rooftops that it is ok not to be ok.

On the face of it I’ve probably looked like I had it altogether. The big smile, giggles and laughter, good job, nice car, lovely house, handsome husband and dogs.

However, the anxiety has always been there, I just didn’t have a name for it until I first went off sick from work in Sept 2018 and the doctor wrote ANXIETY on my sick line.

That created WAY more anxiety…. What a ridiculous word….. what will work think?!? She’s a scaredy cat? A wuss? (Scottish for wimp!)

I was the kid who howled the night before exams, who over prepared for every eventuality.

At the time I went off sick, I thought I was suffering from depression but I now realise that the anxiety was at boiling point. I couldn’t keep the lids on any of my pots anymore. I’d spent a lifetime trying to please other people and I was coming apart at the seems. Hiring a strong team at work was the final straw. They were stronger than I was now and I had to try and manage that whilst breaking apart inside.

The wine I was drinking, to make it all better, was only making it way worse.

I loved posting photos on FB but I didn’t want everyone just to see the good side of my life. For some reason I need them to know the truth….That somedays it’s very hard work to be me.

Ooooh that brought a wee lump to my throat.

Writing the blog allows me to live life in the present moment. To know that sitting here, with Calaidh cuddled up to me, is just as important a moment as heading to Iceland again at the end of the year. Every moment in time is what makes up our life. True peace comes from living in the present.

When I’m anxious or angry I’m focussing on the future or the past.

2024 has been a good year for me. I had a wobble for the first few weeks of February but that’s calmed down, for now and I’m back in control.

I know that life will not always be easy.

But writing daily will help me navigate it all.

I don’t say this very often but I am very proud of who I have become over these last few years. I’m so grateful to have gone through what I did, to allow this version of me to be free.

I still struggle to forgive myself for the odd wobble, I need to work on that.

There is nothing better than feeling calm and I’ve worked really hard to find it. I will never stop fighting to protect my peace.

When I speak my truth I will be calm.

As hard as it is to speak my truth at times, the sense of relief is immense. The noise inside my head stops. I can finally breathe.

I get such a buzz sharing my trips with you. Let’s be honest I get such a buzz being on a trip full stop… I feel like Heidi the Mountain Goat, bounding around trying to find the best shots.

That said it’s the only thing that unsettles me at the moment. I feel my life is drawn to travel and write about it. I have no idea how that would make me money but I feel that it will and something tells me that I don’t need to know the HOW, I just need to trust that it will…. I’m trying to find my niche and my way.

Off course this last year has seen the rise of the Scottish Dog Behaviourist and massive change for Craig. I’m so proud of everything he’s achieved. Like every couple who is honest enough to admit, we have our good times and our bad. He’s my biggest fan but can also pull the rug from under me at times…. And I to him… but that’s real life isn’t it? That’s how marriage works, the key is to try and work together to negotiate the bumps and be there to love and support each other. Tomorrow we celebrate our 14th anniversary. When we’d been together for 10 days we just “knew”.

Jeez, time is just a-passing us right on by.

I want to take the 4 year anniversary to thank you all for your support. I wouldn’t do it without all your kind words. I’ve “met” so many lovely people along the way. I always said if my sharing all helps one person then this would be worth it.

Craig still got the most likes of any blog the night he took it over for my 50th birthday. If you can spare a like tonight, I’d love to beat his winning blog. It would mean the world to me. (I’m not sure it will count since I’ve asked for it but hey… 🙄😂)

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1438 clean house Tuesday!

I came in from work tonight and the house has all been cleaned and looking lovely.

It’s sooooo good to come home to a clean house. It’s such a relief to not have to do any housework tonight. Thank you Craigie!

My friend Tracey in Canada sent me a recipe called Detox Salad overnight…. Of course I decided not to wash my hair this morning so I could head to the supermarket before work.

Why do I find these things so difficult to do after work?!? I go before work, have 20 minutes spare and trying to read a recipe and find things I have no idea where they are in the supermarket. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂 no pressure.

I made it with two minutes to spare this morning, I got everything I needed. Check me.

I got home from work and the second ingredient was a veggie stock cube… and when she got there the cupboard was bare!! None…. Dammit…. Thankfully Claire had some and gave me two.

So I made Crazy Vegan Kitchen’s Detox Salad. The only negatives are trying to figure out what a “cup” measurement is and thinking that Cilantro was Celery…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It took me about 35 minutes to make, which is a bit long for my liking… but I love it.

Mum….. I need a big mixing bowl from the charity shop if you get one in… we communicate through the blog these days! 😂

I have plenty for lunch and dinner tomorrow.

It was really lovely!

I also listened to a podcast today to improve your morning routine with Mel Robbins.

The theory is that if you do these 3 things it will give you a better approach to the day. You’ll be more alert and less likely to have an afternoon slump.

Get up with the alarm… average snoozers waste 4 weeks in a year snoozing… those who get up are less lethargic and ready for action. I’m a getter- upperer… most days but I will try to be more aware of this. (I also make up words!)

Trying to sit in natural light before you look at artificial screen light….. allows you to control your own mind rather than the things you read on your phone.

I’m not sure how to do this as I’m not going to sit outside first thing but I think it just means not to pick up the phone before you’ve been outside and in the present moment. This is definitely something I could try.

Drink a big glass of water, 90 minutes before your first coffee… as coffee (non decaf) actually makes you feel more tired and encourages an afternoon slump. It was a really interesting podcast. Mel Robbins is a good listen.

So that’s all for today.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1437 a very wet Monday! ☔️

I sat at work today thinking, jeez what on earth will I write about today?!?

It rained a lot. I was at work. I got my period. The End.

😂😂

There’s so much more to say… of course there is…

I started the day with some gusto. As it was a non hair wash day, I had lots of time to spare so I cleaned the kitchen, put on a washing and loaded the dishwasher.

We are being really lazy not doing this at night. I came down annoyed at the mess. By the time I left for work, all that needed doing was the clean dishes out the dishwasher needed put away.

The messy kitchen monster ran about all over the kitchen today at some point and I came home to do it all again. I have proudly, clearly communicated my desire for things to be left a bit tidier moving forward.

By the time I came home some mild stomach cramps had kicked in and I felt really irritable.

I’m angry at the weather for being so cold, wet and miserable again. Yesterday’s sunshine was so lovely. It really helps my mood. I feel like I am sitting in front of series after series on TV just now, I don’t want to do that but I also can’t not do that just now. I don’t drink, I’m trying to fast, I only do decaf and I’m pretty much veggie/vegan just now so there’s not much enjoyment in life… I need some escapism.

As soon as I write that I realise how dreadful that sounds. I get lots of enjoyment in life… I haven’t stopped this weekend. I have a cheek to think life is dull. I just mean that the day to day life is a bit monotonous at the moment.

My boss made a great point today… it’s still winter, it is still cold, all of that will change with the lighter nights and some sunshine.

I was excited to get my next Planthood food delivery….. which, of course, did not arrive.

Seems I have ordered for a monthly delivery and not weekly… I have virtually nothing to eat in the house but I’m not going back out. I have a real aversion to going out in the evenings these days. Don’t want to watch tv but don’t want to do anything else!!

So I made some cauliflower cheese with plant based spread and tofu. Who actually am I? Why am I doing this? Why can’t I eat meat? Soooo strange. I was angry at Planthood but it’s not their fault I can’t seem to work their app.

So I felt grumpy and sludgy… amazed that is actually a word…. I put my anorak on and took Bhruic and Freya out for a walk in the rain. I knew that would make me feel better!

What a difference the weather makes. Yesterday compared to today!

The pups did a lot of sniffing…. Honestly felt like they stopped at every blade of grass! It’s great mental stimulation for them though.

Very spooky, old tree.

We got a bit damp and soggy but I feel all the better for the fresh air. I’m so glad I did it.

One of the lovely ladies that I used to sea swim with has just published a book. How amazing is that?!

The sad, untimely passing of her husband, lead her to honour his memory by raising awareness and reducing the stigma of those struggling with. Their mental health and addiction.

She started working towards a swim challenge where she swam from Holy Isle to Lamlash on Arran. She completed this on 4th September 2021.

She’s such an inspiration writing a book about it too!

That’s all from me tonight. I’m off to sit with my grumpy assed emotions. 😂😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️