I was up at 7.20 and on a call with Sonia who runs Pawsitive Solutions calls at 8am. Going to cover all the calls for a few weeks when she’s on holiday 😱😱😱 it’s fine and I will be ok, I may need 3 weeks off to recover and don’t expect much from me in between 🤣🤣🤣

You wouldn’t think I used to hold down at full time job, getting up at 5.30, out by 6.30 and not home till at least 6.30 or 7pm at night?!? How times have changed…. I’m exhausted by making a few phone calls!!

Anyway, back to the dog hair, I had to run my neighbour to the garage in Barrmill this morning and I came back home to this.

So Bhruic has joined Freya in the moulting gang and it’s coming out of her in barrow loads!!

So I think the only way I can cope is to move into the camper van for a few weeks…. as empty as it is. This hair casting malarkey is not gonna be fun. I’m off…. bye…. oh right ok, course I actually can’t do that I just need to try and shut my eyes and get over it. Even the grass outside has a white dog hair hue to it?!?!?! 🤬😤

So in an effort to avoid, Auntie Jac came down today and we went to her friend Anne’s house to deliver some paint. Jac and Anne up cycle furniture. Jac’s business is Transforming Treasures and Anne’s is something I can’t quite remember and Auntie Jac hasn’t replied quickly enough!!!😆🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. Anne has the enormous cuddly German shepherd who’s fluff-ball coat is firmly attached to his body and there was absolutely none of it anywhere that I could see. Except on him. Just as it should be. Good dog.

However, at the same time I was being a very bad daughter-in-law as I was meant to be babysitting my in-laws Chihuahua Cookie at 1pm as they went for lunch with friends in the Gateside Inn….. got home at 1.30pm.

Had to take Cookster back into the pub for 3pm as I had my Emotional Freedom Tapping Group. So managed to Cookie sit for a whole hour and 15 mins. Was lovely to see my mawlaw and pawlaw even for such a short time.

Lovely Shelagh in the top left corner has agreed to continue our wee group on the first Thursday of each month as we’ve all enjoyed it so much and have really helped as a group. (Anne I took this pic before you joined so you had a lucky escape!) it was really only set up to connect through lockdown but it’s been so good to meet regularly with likeminded people. 💜

Then…. I had another 5 calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions! Only got through to 2 and booked them both! Oor Craigie is going to be busier than a really busy thing!!

Stay safe everyone 🧡🧡🧡

Couldn’t sleep this morning and woke up with a banging headache. Tossed and turned and got angry cause my head hurt so I decided that when Julie’s awake the whole house is awake! The dogs pretended to be wide awake but there was less spring int heir step… no wonder, is a very long time since they had a walk at 6.20am!!

Set off in the pouring rain and just past the pub about 10 steps when I realised Bhruic was limping again. Thinking it was her back paw again I brought her back so she could rest it.

When I attended cognitive behavioural therapy I felt worthless and we established that this was one of my core beliefs. I worked to turn this around and my new belief is that if I speak the truth I will be safe. Maybe need to pinch QUOD VERUM, TATUM ???

Back int he house for 7.45am showered and dressed (stupidly in black clothes… not the best when you have a house full of mounting dogs… was covered in hair by 8.30!!) and took a call for someone booking for Pawsitive Solutions. So that took me right up to my volunteering deliveries!

Had lovely chats with everyone again though this time either in the pouring rain or just inside the door way trying to keep dry. Got a lovely wee gift for my favourite Elvis fan… think she was pretty surprised and chuffed by it!

Then on to my next 2 lovely chatty ladies. During the week they all had a special delivery from Beith Trust… they got homemade Jam, tablet and a lovely wee card. Think this was from the huge donation I took in a few weeks ago from one of my lovely deliveries. They were so chuffed to have got it and one lady said that Beith Trust seem to care more about her than anyone else does. While this is sad, I’m so pleased to be a part of making her week slightly brighter. I told her that lovely things happen to lovely people!

I need to get into some Covid-19 news now as I’ve not said anything about it for a good few days.

Thought this was a really interesting article from Sky News as it answers a lot of questions that we have at the moment. We’ve all become aware that this virus isn’t going anywhere anytime soon sadly.

I’ve met some lovely new people as a result of coronavirus lockdown through volunteering and Shelagh Cumming’s tapping group. People that will remain friends. While it’s a sad time for many it’s been a blessing for me.

As an aside I would like you all to know that I’ve just had to type this whole blog twice. As I was adding in the Sky News article I tried to delete something and is said “DO YOU WANT TO DISCARD DRAFT” …… I said yes 🤦🏻‍♀️ that is the WRONG answer… the answer is

So I’ve now been on this for 3 hours… it’s much faster second time around I have to say. so I’m going to leave this here… walk away now so I can’t do anymore damage. I will be sitting on the couch in front of the fire with my feet up! I may crochet… I may watch tv but I will not be writing this blog a 3rd time!!!

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

So the meh bit first…. weighed myself before I went to bed last night (for some really strange reason I mean, why would you?!?) and was truly horrified at the result. Shocked. I am now over 14 stone and I’m only 5ft 4”…… I’ve put on half a stone since I was doing all those crazy steps back in the first stages of lockdown. I just can’t get into the right headspace at all to try and cut back but I’m disgusted with myself and horrified how much I’ve put on during lockdown. The first thing in my head is that I’m not even drinking so how can that weight gain be possible?!? (I know fine well why it’s possible…… 🤦🏻‍♀️😤)

So after a lot of soul searching today I’ve realised that I’m in the huff…. I have no energy to watch what I eat and track it, no desire whatsoever, the thought of it causes me huge stress. And yet…. I know how easy it is. I know it can be done but I am having a huffy childish strop in to myself because I don’t want to…. why me?!?

Extreme weight gain or weight loss is a part of symptom of depression. Not having the strength to prepare meals and eating on the hoof all the time. I had to choose to eat more on the hoof than I would have done eating full meals!!!

Anyway, sorry to the moan as there are a lot worse troubles at sea, I just thought writing it out might help and it does…. get over it Julie, just start tracking what you eat and the weight will fall off!

So my day….. god knows how I managed a full time job when I’ve been so knackered today…. up at 8 to take Holly my neighbour, to the garage to drop off her car then down to the cash and carry so she can stock up the pub. Home for 11 and had 7 calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions so got into that… called everyone, 3 answered, 4 didn’t so I took the dogs out for a walk…

So came home and called a couple of folk back and booked both jobs woo hoo hoo. Then ran next door back to the garage to pick up their car and by the time I got back realised I was late, for a very important date!!

Rachel, 2 doors down, and I are going to take over the Treasury of the Memorial Hall Gateside from Helen Craig who’s held the post for years.

We had a wee socially distanced meeting in Helen’s garden over a Becks Blue alcohol free beer! The sun was so hot… it was lovely.

Back home for 5.30 and had another call with someone I’d missed earlier! Then washing in and more out, dishwasher full, lentil soup on and then dinner! It’s 8 pm already…..

It’s funny given how hard I used to work that I am stressed out my box when I don’t get some down time in a day. Almost 2 years off sick really takes its toll and I’ve suffered from a lethargy all day that I can’t shake.

On a positive note I’ve not stuffed my self full of food which is something. I am how we, sick of the sound of my own voice after all that talking…. yeah yeah I know loads of you are sick of the sound of my voice too…. 😝

I confess to being too tired to look up Coronavirus news today…. I will try tomorrow I promise and I will also try to be a bit calmer and relaxed and a lot less moany!!!

If I recap it’s been a good day but I just didn’t get any chill out time and that still means a lot to me.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

So yeah today my Craigie turns 45. We had a lovely wee night in the pub yesterday and today is just a lovely day together to see where it takes us.

Birthday boy was wide awake at 7.20 so we got up and had coffee while he opened I’m his mountain of pressies!

So, a wee bit about Craig….

We met in summer of 2007 and we just knew. You know that way that you know. We’d been together 10 days and we used to say we wished we could say it’s been 10 years as we knew we would be together. I’d been married before and Craig was everything I had on my wish list for a man. He is kind, caring, loving and I could leave him in a room with strangers and not have to worry about him as he can chat to anyone.

My struggle with mental health had been bubbling under the surface for a very long time but didn’t finally break me until Sept 2018 (told you I’d get back to me eventually…) the nature of my job meant I built a defensive wall around me, everything said to me was a criticism and I blasted back in return with a offence. Ok I still do sometimes but I’m learning to change that behaviour. I never listened to his advice as I saw him as an extension of myself and I was worthless so his advice must be too. I guess I tried to push him away as I always felt I didn’t love myself therefore how could he love me? So many special events in our lives are marred by my reactions to “how much did that cost?!?”

But he stood by me. All the way. He’s very supportive of my not drinking. Lockdown has brought us closer together and we’ve been really lucky to have that time to spend with each other. I’ve definitely learned to communicate better over the last few years and Craig tries not to get a parcel a day from Amazon or Jeepey so all is good. 😬😆

We said 2020 would be our year and in a very different way than we expected, it actually is.

So we have had the loveliest lazy afternoon. Craig has got his rear view mirror camera fixed in the Jeep and has been playing with some of his birthday toys….. and I have gone to get his birthday tea after a 2 hour nap with the pups!

So feet up and fire and candles on watching Yellowstone on tv…. a regular lockdown evening after a really nice relaxing day!

Stay safe everyone ❤️💜🧡

We were late in bed last night and I’ve been reading Lincoln Hall’s book “Dead Lucky, Life after death on Mount Everest” (bit of light reading for my fragile mind?!??? I just went to get the book as I couldn’t remember what it was called…. just said out loud yip not gonna find it in the bathroom 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬😆)

Last night I said I was not gonna be one of those people that posted their food. Ok I lied… I had no idea what Craig would churn out for breakfast this morning. Wow!

Think the camera on the new phone is amazing. Everything seems so much brighter and clearer though it always helps when the sun shines!

Think Craig’s had a good night and I’ve enjoyed my Diet Coke…. I may not sleep tonight after all this 😉

Stay safe everyone 🧡🧡🧡

Jeez we were up with the larks this morning! 6.20am then out with the dogs by 7.30am. I love an early morning walk but can seldom muster the enthusiasm to actually get off my lardy ass and get out with them. 😬🤷🏻‍♀️

Everything is so quiet, only a few cars passed us and we get the early morning sun while we plod along.

Back home for 8.30 and the day stretches ahead of us. So good to know we have 3 days holiday where we can whatever we want, or nothing….

Craig started trying to help Freya with her horrific moulting…. go figure how the wee pup with short hair is the one that moults like a beast?!?!?

We’ve the lovely laziest day. Craig fixed the bathroom light that’s been broken for a while! Then we had a wee nap in front of the fire…. was always gonna happen waking up at 6.20am.

By the time I got back via a wee teeny country road (lovely drive but not the best idea as Abbie the camper got whacked by branches a few times 😳 and no space for anyone to pass be it man, dog or bikes let alone cars!!) it was already 4.30pm. It took me about 2 hours to wrap Craig’s birthday pressies as I bought him soooo much 🙄😬 (my poetic licence again!!)

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Up at 7.30 had a coffee then set about tidying up the mess from dinner last night, really must remember to do it at night before I go to bed but was so shattered after a busy day that I couldn’t be bothered at all… regret it in the morning though.

Jac came down for 10am and we decided to go out for a wee drive past The Little Coffee Caravan as it would be rude not to!! Even toyed with taking mum over some cake yesterday but it wasn’t opened when I passed. So I got an almond latte and a Cadbury’s Fudge blondie and it was soooooo good!

We then drove to Stewarton to pop past one of Jac’s “painty pals” (Anne) who up cycles furniture. Was a nice wee drive and saw a part of Stewarton I’d never been to before. Love a new road, me!

It actually rained ALL day. We drove from Stewarton through to Ardrossan, sat at the beach and shared a sandwich and back up the coast back home. No pics as everything was so bleak in the pouring rain. The sea was the same colour as the sky and we couldn’t see it for rain on the windscreen! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😳 it was a lovely wee drive though.

Back home at 2pm and had another 2 calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions and since Kinesiology this week I barely feel any real anxiety. Nothing like the stomach churning, toe curling experience that I’ve been feeling since I started. It’s such a relief as I genuinely love chatting to the people.

So that’s “work” finished for the week and we have a whole 3 days together as this is Craig’s birthday weekend as he’ll be a whole 45 on Monday!

We went into the pub late afternoon and caught up with a few neighbours. Had a good laugh!

Actually important to note that I finally have taken the plunge and upgraded my phone. The spare one is been using has been getting screen flickers at the bottom repeating pictures from the top and the size of my photo box was slowing everything down. I now have a humongous sized memory and am going to take a lot of my phots off. This is the first pic I took with the new phone which nearly broke the lens…. 😬🙄😆 but whatever a difference in clarity!

Interesting to note that day 111 post will still not publish………. I will never stop trying as it’s become somewhat of a mission with me.

So I’m not gonna look up any coronavirus news as I’m really tired. My feet are up, the fire is on, the takeaway is ordered, the pups are crazy, Craig is blowing raspberries at them and driving them wild but it’s my lovely wee world.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

Alarm set for 7.20 up, showered and heading to South Gayle in Edinburgh to meet mum. Had a lovely wee drive over though it seemed to take forever because I’m not used to driving any distance anymore.

So lovely to see Mum and have a wee day out.

I have to say that I really struggled with the shops today and we only went to M&S and Starbucks. The changes to a shopping experience are so significant. As you walk in to M&S the huge entrance has been covered over with temporary doors allowing 2 doors for in and one door for out so that there is control over the flow of those entering and exiting. There are stickers all over the floors warning of the 2m distance, spots on floors to show where you should stand when queuing and Perspex all over the toll area like you are paying in a wee bus stop.

The food hall was heaving and while everyone had masks on it still felt a bit much. Trying to find stuff while following signs on the floor is a bit much even for my expert multitasking!! 🤯😆

We sat out on a wee bench in the car park at the shopping centre and had our coffees before we headed off to South Queensferry to my brothers for lunch.

Headed home and got back before 4 as had calls to make for Pawsitive Solutions. Booked another job!! Then Claire messaged and asked if I fancied a walk so had a good long dog walk…… put the world to rights!

So yeah I’m pretty sad today, I had a lovely day but the reality of this virus has really hit me. The change to our way of life seems so huge. The overhead gantry signs all the way over said Stay Safe and Save Lives and I really thought about that…. we have to be careful so we don’t catch it and then pass it on to others. It’s like the stuff of movies, not reality. Sad times but I’m sure it will become the new normal soon.

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

Woke up with a thumping dehydrated head this morning… always think that’s so unfair when you don’t drink alcohol… but I needed a bottle of water and some tablets along with meditation to help it go.

Did Suzanne Robichaud Mediation for Nothing this morning and it just left you lying in nothing with an empty head. Amazing!! 🛌 ended up falling back to sleep until 9.15 and then rushing shower and hair drying before Volunteering at 10am. Had the usual people on my list.

So the first house had this lovely wee cat. Think it’s pretty young as we have a discussion every week about how I need to watch it doesn’t try and jump in the car… even from the days of the Beetle (still for sale!!).

As I head back to the van to pick up some more bags as realise it’s walking about in the back quite the thing…. exploring. I seriously hope it didn’t scent all over it as the puppers will go nuts next time they’re in!

Headed back to the house and by the time I got back to the van to try and get it out it was climbing up the inside back wall and out and up onto the roof… of course my phone was nowhere to be seen at the time 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😬

As the lady goes to get the bag of Dreamies to call it in, it slides down the front windscreen onto the bonnet and jumps down and heads straight for the kitchen door!!!

So then onto the second house and no one was in! When he turned up , just as I was leaving, he was so apologetic he’d been out for his walk and forgotten I was coming but his 4 inch long beard had been shaved off and I didn’t recognise him at all!!! Due to lockdown he’s been unable to get it trimmed so took scissors to it himself on Sunday night at 11pm. He couldn’t get it to look right so kept going shorter and shorter until he had to shave it off. It was lovely to see his eyes sparkling as he told the story. While I love a beard it took years off him and he told me some amazing stories about meeting a woman in his older years who’d always wanted to kiss a man with a beard ❤️

Onto the next 4 deliveries, lovely to catch up with everyone and then stayed an hour at one house putting the world to rights with a lady who looks like my Gran but sounds like my Nana!! Then onto my last delivery and the first words were “did you record the wee film of the Gateside Inn for FB?” Nods head smiling much “I thought it was you” she said. Good wee chat there then back home.

All in all lovely to see my wee team!

The Gateside Inn was busy when I got back so looks like people are taking up the indoor pub being open now. There were cars parked up and down the road. Great to see them busy but with COVID-19 restrictions in place.

Think the wee video I tried to share in my Day 111 blog killed it as it’s still stuck and won’t post. Spent an hour and a half trying to unstick day 111 and got angry with it so finally gave up for now…. things like frustrate the hell out of me as it can’t be that hard?!?!

Some good news though, booked another Pawsitive Solutions job for Craig which I was awfy chuffed with. The lady was lovely and will learn a lot from Craig’s training!

So all of a sudden it’s 5pm and the afternoon seems to have disappeared!

Lots of love to you all. I’m away to battle with Day 111 again and see if I can ever post it 🤦🏻‍♀️🤬🤯👎🏼😬🤷🏻‍♀️

Stay safe everyone ❤️💜❤️

Craig’s out at work all day today so we got up and had breakfast then I walked the monster pups. It’s a miserable morning… well that’s not fair actually, it’s warm but with smirry rain. In fact after a good dog walk it was positively tropical!

So my anxiety is still lurking today or at least it was this morning. I have nothing planned, no reason to be anxious and yet I am. I needed something that I could really get my teeth into. Some manual labour that required some focus to stop my mind from whirring round!

We also got bags of wood delivered that needed brought in front the car park and emptying so I did that as well. Wo-MAN ON MISSION 😆

So yeah it totally did the job as I’m now shattered having a wee sit down with my feet up. My head is not whirring around anymore as it’s too tired.

I’ve a few Coronavirus stories to share that I found this morning.

Stay safe everyone 💜❤️💜

Didn’t get to bed until 11.30pm last night…. oh my word it’s almost like a late night!!! We had been lounging in front of the fire since 5pm as well 🔥…. doesn’t that paint a lovely romantic picture rather than saying we were just slobbing in front of the tv?!?! 📺🤭😆

So after about 4 episodes of American Survivor, we finally went to bed and so a we lazy morning for us. Up at 9, coffee, watching the dogs play in the garden.

Did a wee family trip to the greenhouse as not done that in a while… life in the fast lane in lockdown huh?!

So first of all we went round the garden like maniacs chopping everything down that had got too bushy…. I now have more than a brown bin full of garden rubbish…. I can feel my anxiety started to bubble over. (Reading this back and I feel I should say that it’s not just because the brown bin is full 😆) The usual of too many things I want to do but actually can’t really be bothered doing any of them. It’s a constant battle between feeling fired up and raring to go but equally drained and lethargic. I find myself already nervous about the calls I have to make next week which are going really well but for some reason the effort it takes me to do them is gargantuan. (What an amazing word… it feels like climbing Everest with every call I see coming through and yet I actually have enjoyed them event they are done).

But no…. there are seats that need removing…. I’m actually really chuffed that I’m doing this myself and really only need a bit of extra brute force on a few of them that I couldn’t get moving. Once my brute used some of his strength they were fine.

Not gonna lie, this was not a particularly fun job and I found I just got into the swing of a best way to loosen one when it was almost out. Hey, you live and learn!

So Craig’s been busy doing all things Jeep stuff. He’s fitting a reversing mirror and his new number plates.

Forgot to say yesterday that mum and dad should have been in Iona for a holiday recently so they sent me a wee gift ordered online from Iona.

So another quiet night for us again. It would appear the Gateside Inn have delivered dinner to the front door which is soooo lovely! Dinner, last of the sun then maybe some more vegging in front of the tv…. relaxing in front of the open fire…. 😆

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

My anxiety gave me a hammering yesterday so I already knew that this weekend was going to be different. I am not going to let it win. Craig’s out at work but will be home by about 2pm and we are going have a nice weekend together…. what could possibly go wrong?!?!

The sun was shining first thing but then started to rain 🤦🏻‍♀️ so I put the fire on and made some lentil soup and now it’s sunny again. Not that I’m suggesting for a minute that me making soup changes the weather but it’s just one of those little things that make you smile. (lovely warm day… who needs soup?!? 😳😆)

So I bundled the pups in Abbie the camper van to see if we could find somewhere different to walk. A change is as good as a rest and all that…

So the fuel light came on yesterday so I drove to Asda Barrhead and filled up with 74 litres so will see how long that lasts. Got 563.8miles out of the last tank but it wasn’t fully empty when I filled it. So the pups had a wee jaunt. Again the first of many.

So we all came home and I had a lovely hour and a half Nana nap in Grans chair with my feet up. The dogs were zonked too which I love seeing, just so lucky I didn’t get any of them stuck on a dangerous stick!!!

As full as you are when you’ve had a pub meal just looking at these pics now I could go the same again….. I have shocked myself 🙈🤭🤣

So I’m sitting in front of the fire with my feet up and I’m going to chill for the rest of the night and it’s only 5pm.

The only COVID news I can see is that Scotland reported 18 new cases yesterday which isn’t the best news. Likely to be caused by lockdown easing but we just have to make sure we’re careful.

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

So today is Friday 10th July and we have to wear masks in shops so thought it’s share a few reminders I’ve seen on FB 🤣

Bill NYE the Science Guy explains mask effectiveness

Oh and good news I am finally getting my eyebrows done on 24th July… that poor girl is gonna have her work cut out for her…. and I’ve just thought that through and reckon it’s gonna hurt me WAY more than it’s gonna hurt her 😳😳😳

So Auntie Jac popped down today and we went to the little gift shop in Beith as she has some pressies she wanted to get, so lovely to see Gayle in her mask and us in our masks and we had to shout to hear each other!! Should have taken some pics… but I didn’t!

Then drove over to Largs for a wee wander but it got awfy cold awfy fast and started to rain… we were both wearing flip flops so not the best… hung about in Abbie the camper for a wee while then went to the Co-op to get sandwiches and into Costa for a takeaway coffee. We found a wee isolated bench and had our lunch.

Had a great wee chat and got to see the Skyline pop top roof which is the one they recommend . Jac tried to get me a job spec’ing camper vans 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣 not a bad shout to be fair…. 🤭🤣

Had a good few Pawsitive Solutions calls to make this afternoon when I got back although couldn’t get a few folk on the phone. My anxiety loves this it feeds on the “when should I call the person back”…. I’ve actually been pretty anxious all day so going to take the weekend to focus on having a good chill out. Been a busy week again.

Stay safe everyone ❤️💜💙

Yeah the day was never going to start the best as I woke up to the self flagellation of why did I drink wine last night, why did I think I needed it, what good did it do me??? Over and over (and then some).

When I got home I threw myself into some housework to keep my mind off things…. I scrubbed and cleaned and hoovered almost like it was a punishment for my losing control last night.

I don’t handle drink well these days and I have to control myself on a daily basis not to touch the stuff… always said I would be totally honest in this blog… I could scoot past it and pretend it never happened but then I don’t learn anything from it. The rosé wine was talking to me since we stocked the pub fridges on Sunday in preparation for it opening. A nice pale rosé was always my thing on a sunny day. I thought about buying one from the pub on Sunday but didn’t and it was in my head all week. After all this time of not drinking wine, what made actually reach for it…..

A desire to be the same as everyone else. A desire to fit in, not to be different. A desire to be “normal”.

I’m jealous of others that they don’t need the self control that I do. It’s hard work being In control 24/7. All the reasons why I stay off it are long gone at that point. The wine witch is telling me it will all be ok and I can just have one. One wee glass. I can never stop after one glass, one becomes two and two becomes four. Thankfully that’s all I have but I don’t remember much after the third glass, I come home and try to start an argument in an empty room. I don’t try…. I do and I keep going and going and going.

I am not that person anymore.

And yet last night I was.

I had a emotional freedom tapping call at 3 today and as you can imagine it frees my emotions for a good hour and 15 mins….. We worked on a “Fear of being imperfect” today and boy did that hit a spot. I set myself some pretty high targets, sometimes unattainable targets so I fail to hit them on a regular basis.

The work I’ve done in the last year and a half is to learn that I am enough. I may be imperfect but that’s ok as we all have our own imperfections that make us who we are.

So end of I’m moving on…. in COVID news there’s been a further announcement in lockdown easing today in Scotland.

Stay safe everyone 💙🤍💙

Up with the larks this morning…. coffee, shower and out to Beith Trust for volunteering with Abbie the camper van!

Had a lovely volunteering day… everyone was so in need of a good chat and I’m only more than happy to oblige! I took one lady some jam sachets that she wanted and she was so chuffed she tried to kiss and hug me and I had to say “you realise you can’t do that” which I was really sad about. She was so chuffed and took my hand and I knew what she meant. That made me smile as my Nana always said “she took me by the hand…” miss my Nana who died a few years back.

One lovely man almost had me in tears as he wanted to donate to Beith Trust and have a a huge donation while I was delivering his food…. he said “I want you to know I don’t need charity” I told him “this is not charity, this is us helping you as you can’t go to the shops right now as it’s not safe with the virus around”. He still gave me a cheque for a huge amount of money which was for his holiday that got cancelled for this year. What a lovely, lovely gesture from a lovely man. Made me feel very humble.

Home at about 1.30 and had lunch in the glorious sunshine… was so nice to feel some heat in the sun. Then Craig decided that he had some work to do on the Jeep… that is usually grounds for divorce in our house but I had my best behaviour on…. chief helper….if that’s even English…. 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️😆

So this needs investigating… I stopped drinking on 2nd January 2019 and never planned to give it up for good but actually found that my quality of life was so much better without it.

When the pubs closed on Friday 20th March I had wine that night and only showed myself why I didn’t drink. I didn’t like the taste, didn’t like the way it made me feel blah blah…. ever since we helped stock the pub the other day the wine witch has been calling to me…. telling me I can just have one and it will be fine. I’d even said to Craig if we go to the pub and I say I want wine, don’t let me have it. That’s not fair to put on him as I told him last night that one would be just fine…. then I’d just have a wee second glass.

I just wanted to be the same as everyone else… I guess it’s a fear of missing out? Why can everyone else have alcohol and I can’t?

Yet… again this morning I know why I can’t… I don’t want to be the person it turns me into. It goes into my system so fast that I don’t remember everything that happens. I lost my glasses last night and couldn’t find them anywhere (this morning… turns out they were still in the van!) so I couldn’t see to write this properly even although it was already half way through.

So yeah let’s put it into perspective. I had wine last night and I don’t like how it makes me feel… It reminds me of who I used to be and I am working hard to have a better quality of life than that….end of. I might need to work hard today to stop the self flagellation…. 😔

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜

Had to set an alarm today…. 😳 up and out sharp to the cash and carry with Holly. The pubs first day open yesterday went really well and everyone obeyed the booking and social distancing rules.

The cash and carry was quiet today and no one wearing face masks yet but antibac spray to clean your hands and the trolleys at the entrance. Still great to have the van to shove everything in. Doesn’t take long to wheech around! Then we headed to Asda as I had to have potatoes with cheese for dinner last night as we had nothing decent in. 🤦🏻‍♀️😳😬 (my mum will be saying…. awwww Jul as she reads this…. !!? I know…. will be better today…. I promise!) So food shop done for the week and didn’t even really have to think about it! Need to start eating proper meals again. I’ve been tired with all this out of the comfort zone stuff so prefer just to eat chocolate or crisps…. need to get the finger out and cook!!

Stay safe everyone 💛💛💛

So, so lovely to see some sunshine again today after that incessant rain! Lockdown in the sun seems less restrictive and more enjoyable. Two washing’s done and hung outside and lovely to hear voices back in the beer garden of the pub next door after all this time! It seems to have been a very calm and sedate return so far. Not that our village pub is ever a riot and if it is we are usually in the middle of it.

Had a very productive morning today looking up all things camper van and trying to narrow down some of the equipment I’m going to go for. Phoned a good few companies to discuss their products to try and narrow it down. May have made a wee spreadsheet of comparison costs etc, forgotten how much I love a wee spreadsheet!

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before but making phone calls had become really difficult for me. Since I’d been off sick and hiding in my wee bubble, I’ve found it really difficult to connect with the outside world preferring text over phone calls so that I could think about what I wanted to say and rewrite it a million times before I sent it! So even calling camper van places feels like an achievement for me! Not to mention the 3 calls I made for Pawsitive Solutions today!!!

I’m proud to say Craig is out working the first job that I booked for him at this very moment. #proudmoment 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😆

So back to the camper, I’ve ordered a plain wood u shaped lounge seating configuration for us to fit. Should be available in a maximum of 4-5 weeks. The lady on the phone was so lovely it made me really glad I’d decided to go with them!

So at least that’s a start and we have somewhere to sleep and something storage. So much easier than having to build it ourselves but so much cheaper than getting it all laminated. We’ll just have to ensure it’s all protected. So we can paint it or paint wash over it or decoupage?!? 😬 I can almost visualise Craig’s face when he reads decoupage!!) 🤢🤔😬🙄

So I’m not gonna lie I sat down in Grans chair in the sun room and out the recliner up and sat and had a lovely chill with the pups. We all had an hours’ snooze!

Honestly the pains in my legs from walking is unreal, I’m sitting now with the bag-of-frozen-sweetcorn-that-shall-not-be-eaten under my right ankle and loving it to my left knee once it get too cold. I’m 47 going on 87 I reckon!!! Need to stop eating our sugar and I did fess up to Claire that I’ve only had chocolate today…. 🙄

As I said, Scotland has allowed beer gardens and outdoor cafes to open from today and I can hear the unusual drum of conversation coming from next door. Everyone has to book by phone before they can reserve a table so people can’t just drop in as they only have 5 tables outside to fill. It’s a big change for us as the village has been so quiet for so long but it’s lovely for our neighbours to get some custom again.

Scotland have 9 new cases confirmed today but we remain at 2,488 deaths. Nicola sturgeon hopes she can confirm phase 3 of lockdown easing this week. The UK stands at 44,220 deaths today.

Off to make a dinner of some real food that’s not just chocolate….. 😬😆

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

A lazy morning with coffee and breakfast as we had to be in the pub next door to help our neighbour set up for the beer garden opening tomorrow. All Covid-19 restrictions have to be in place so Craig helped measure out the tables in the beer garden to make sure they were all 2m apart. Of the 6 tables they had they could only make 5 fit in with the required guidelines.

I posted on the Gateside Inn FB page to tell everyone they could start phoning to book tables. No one can just turn up now as there’s not enough space. The pub needs to allocate table for up to 3 hours to a clean down of the table before the next people come in. The entrance will be through the beer garden door.

We moved all the tables between the back door and the toilets so that people can pass each other with plenty space but only one person can be in the toilets at any one time.

It’s really sad that so much is changing but it had to be adhered to to ensure the virus doesn’t spread.

The following photos show the amazing job I did stacking up the crisps and nuts 🤣🤣🤣I obviously don’t get out much 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😆 Given that I’m alcohol free I thought I’d better not post photos of all the booze. I did get the fridges all stocked up while Craig sorted everything out in the cellar storage and Holly did all the important stuff with the kegs.

I read this morning that a top scientist guy said that the British government is opening things up to try and manage the virus to specific numbers. He said that Downing Streets policy was to try and “maintain” the current 3,000 new cases a day rate. However this means an excess 27,000 people will die before April as a result. What a decision to make. What a gamble…. those 27,000 people are alive right now. I know that’s obvious but just think about that…..

Many of the drunken scenes were totally disrespectful to the NHS last night. People crowded into pubs and a top police chief said they had dealt with naked men, angry drunks, happy drunks then more angry drunks, arrests etc. These huge gatherings are putting way more pressure on the NHS after asking all these key workers to put their lives on the line to deal with the first wave just so “we” can have a good time.

The World Health Organisation have reported a huge increase in cases across the world…. 212,326 new cases in one day. The States are seeing around 50-52K a day…

In much nicer news we helped Craig’s mum celebrate her lockdown birthday! We went back up to theirs and sat out in the gazebo bar again and this time Craig’s brother Stuart and his wife Lee were there too! I’ll just as in a whole bunch of photos as we had a lovely time. Was great to see them all but it’s now 22.18 and I’m one tired girl!!! Happy birthday to my lovely mawlaw!

We had a lovely day helping our lovely neighbours and seeing the Avery/Jamieson’s today. it’s not 22.43 and I’m ready for bed now!

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️

The torrential rain finally stopped last night and you’d have been forgiven for thinking the twilight sky was an indication it had been a lovely day. I sat at the back door listening to the birds tweeting and watching the clouds clears out 9.30pm. A lovely wee moment while the dogs had a wander. It’s times like that that mean a lot more to me now.

I managed a good 12 hour sleep last night and could have slept all day and it’s only the back of 2 so far! Mr Avery, on the other hand, had a lovely wee night to himself coming through to bed at about 4 am and he was back up again at 8! I did wake up at 3.03am and heard some political debate on the tv, Boris Johnson blah blah blah-in’ away as only he can do 😳 the stuff of nightmares! 🤦🏻‍♀️😱🤣 someone is gonna crash later 🤣🤣🤣 (hmmm it’s now 6.30pm and he’s still going strong….)

The Scottish government have now relaxed the 5 mile limit for leisure travel so I’ll be looking forward to a wee trip to the coast when the weather lifts a bit.

Outdoor hospitality will open back up on Monday 6th July with the Gateside Inn opening next door! Holly has released the following announcement:

I know what we’re like living on a main road. We’ve enjoyed the light traffic, our village has felt like it belonged to just us and it’s been lovely. I can’t imagine dreading the influx of tourists in camper vans taking over again…. I know I’ve just got one….. 😬😆 I’ll be different….. 🚐🖤😊 I read that Skye are nervous as to who’s going to open up first as the locals might blame them for bringing COVID-19 back to the island. It’s a tough time for everyone as those of us who have been stuck at home for so long are desperate to get away but I know a lot of us realise that this is still too early.

The Camping & Caravanning club sites have opened today but only to self contained units as the toilet blocks are not open yet. Loch Lomond and the Trossachs have asked people to wait until around the 17th and Glencoe have asked visitors to be mindful of locals and the local area.

We’ve spent the afternoon watching the Goonies as Craig was incensed earlier in the week when he found out I hadn’t seen it!!! It was really good and his wee face was a picture with all the iconic lines.

It came about as he stumbled on an amazing YouTube show with Josh Gadd called Reunited Apart. In line with Covid-19 restrictions he pulls together actors from old movies and talks about the making of the film in a zoom call style. So far we’ve watched The Lord of the Rings 💍, Ghostbusters 👻, Splash 🧜🏻‍♀️, Goonies (obviously) Back to the Future and Ferris Beuller’s Day Off!!

Highly recommend it! What a trip down memory lane and wonderful to hear the sentiment from all the actors in these strange time. What a great idea!

So we’re off to decide on this evening’s viewing…. how many movies, box sets, tv etc have we watched during lockdown?!?!? Pure hunners. Staying in is the new going out and I love it!!!

Stay safe everyone 💜❤️💜