The best sleep last night. Woke at 5am, when the Scottish Dog Behaviourist got up and felt like I wouldn’t get back to sleep.

My mind was racing with all the thoughts of the coming day. I tried to pull myself back into the present moment and appreciate that I could still lie in bed for another hour or so.

I actually thought how it would feel if I jumped in to bed on a Saturday afternoon for a nap. I am aware of a completely different feeling wash over me. Rather than the Monday morning stress of desperately trying to sleep when you know you have to get up in an hour, I snuggled down and appreciated an afternoon cozy nap.

I had to fight the Monday morning feeling a few times but I ultimately relaxed more than I was.

I went into work early to get my Vinted sales ready for posting. I’ve order shipping bags but they won’t come until tomorrow and two of the girls who bought from me wanted the parcels really quickly.

I found my anxiety really mounting.

What if I send the wrong thing to the wrong person, what if they are not clean enough, what if there are too many dog hairs when the parcel arrives, what if, what if, what if?!?!

I had some bags from the house and cut a big one up in work to make the other two. What if I’m not wrapping them properly? What if they rip? What if? What if? What if?

They have to be sent with Evri and we have an Evri depot across from work. The guy who delivers from us has always said if we have anything then just to pop over with it.

I cannot tell you how hard I find that….. walking out the yard and over their car park. Even writing this at 7.20pm I feel the anxiety welling up inside of me.

I know it is ridiculous. I feel everyone is watching me as I walk across their huge car park…. Which stretches for miles as I start to cross it. It keeps getting longer. Folk in the warehouse are looking at me wondering what on earth I am doing.

The welcome from our normal Evri man seems like a figment of my imagination….

The guy I speak to looks at me like I have three heads. He has never heard of the concept of someone dropping off parcels for onward delivery… 🤦🏻‍♀️

He takes my bag out of my hand, extremely reluctantly. He walks across to a big bin-like crate, and dumps them in, walks back to me, hands me my bag and his work is done.

I, on the other hand, dissolve inside like the world is about to end. My precious parcels are dumped in a tub and as far as I know, they might never be seen again!!!!

I know…… I hear myself but honestly I cannot tell you how bad it feels at the time.

It’s like a panic attack. The anxiety ripples and waves through me.

I called Craig on the way back to talk me down.

After all this time I still need someone else to tell me it will be ok….. even if I have to tell them that they just have to tell me it will be ok!! (Read that again if you have to…. It does make sense eventually!!)

A few things in work continue this new anxiety thing but eventually I settle down into the rhythm of the day.

Around 11am I get 4 notifications that my parcels have been scanned. I actually laugh out loud!!

Work was good, but busy with visitors so I didn’t touch much of what I needed to do.

I didn’t finish up until 4.30 but I met some lovely people today. One woman and I are convinced we’ve met before but neither of us could place it…. Funny when that happens.

I stayed on to wash Abbie the camper van as she was soooo dirty.

Just noticed the reflection of the Tartan Campers logo!

Home for some lovely Craigie venison lasagne and garlic bread. Very grateful to come home to such a lovely dinner. He’s awright sometimes really. 🙄😂😘

Now doing a face mask that randomly matches my hoodie.

And relax!

Stay safe everyone 💙💙💙

Well I had no idea that day 1111 was just around the corner. You’d think I’d have sussed it eh?!? Not…. a…. clue…. 😂

So on a day with a memorable number, I usually like to do a wee stat recap… so that I can find it when I look back. It seems appropriate to a bit of reflection on day 1111.

Having had to leave work in a puddle of tears in September 2018, and being made redundant in February 2020, I’ve managed to achieve the following…

• 1,571 days without alcohol
• 1,111 days writing a daily blog
• 755 days since I started working in Tartan Campers
• 617 days without any form of antidepressants
• 178 days on HRT
• 1 day since my first drag show 😂

I don’t give myself much credit but the bit that really gets me is the amount of time off the anti-depressants. I can’t get my head around that as I relied on them so heavily for so much of my adult life.

I’m so proud of that. I have fought so very hard to get better, even on the days where I felt like I couldn’t go on.

Also the giving up drink living next door to the village pub… that’s taken some sheer grit, determination and willpower.

I could have a drink now if I wanted but I finally realised that I am choosing not to. I much prefer the me that isn’t always looking for the next glass of wine.

Mental Health is a difficult one… if you really want to fix it you have to find a treatment yourself, and pay for it, despite us having the NHS and work bloody hard, when every bit of you just wants to give up. You have to take control when you are at your lowest ebb. I put on 4 stone and am thankfully slowly losing it now. Jeez it was such a rough time and I’m so grateful for how I feel now. It’s such a relief to be in a good place mentally.

I’m getting through all of this on chocolate alone 😆🙄 and I ain’t giving that up anytime soon!!! (obviously there’s the free therapy at The little gift shop too 🤗💜♥️)

So, back to my day, well yesterday to start… a quick photo of the Village Hall Committee with our drag Queen!

We were up at 6am this morning and I decided to start putting things up for sale on Vinted.

I had a lovely wee surprise when I realised it had £67 in my Vinted account from the last time I sold things.

Who knew?!?! I did wonder where the money went when I sold stuff before but never really checked up properly…. Julie half a job, I know…. I know Claire next door has just rolled her eyes and laughed hard at this 🙄😆😘💜

I’ve already sold 2 pairs of hiking boots, a pair of Converse and a pair of Montane walking trousers. Some of it sold within minutes of putting them up for sale. People have been messaging all day.

We’ve tidied and cleaned but the house, after our room move but it’s still very much a work in progress.

We finally sat down for a lovely coffee and chocolate at 2pm.

I took the dogs out on two separate walks this afternoon. Calaidh first…. With her frisbee….. which she only let go of once, the whole walk!!

Craig snapped us from the living room window! The frisbee is now very muddy and a lot less red!

Then it was Bhruic and Freya’s turn and I took a tennis ball up into the field.

I love that they take it turn about and know they have to wait.

So that’s been my Sunday… oh we had the loveliest dinner… leftovers from the village pub again. We are soooo lucky!

So that’s the weekend almost over. It’s been a good one.

Oh and we didn’t get the big UK alert… after all that excitement…. we are with 3 mobile….

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t feel good when I first opened my eyes this morning. I felt very tired and sad. My head felt really foggy again.

I put my eye mask back on (these things are a godsend!) and rolled over.

All I kept thinking about was a lack of time….

I have so many things that I want to do but I am working all the time (not true!) and when I’m not working I am very carefully planning my rest time. I’m tired.

I’m already thinking it’s Saturday morning and by tomorrow night it’s time for work again on Monday.

No gratitude for, what is, a lovely time of the week for me.

I fought the “to dog jog or not to dog jog” this morning and figured that I did actually need the rest. I had a quick look at The Rambling Sloth FB feed.

This ♥️

I lay there and thought this over and over in my head. I tried to silently meditate and push all negative thought away.

I don’t think I slept again but when I did get up I felt completely different. My head is clear, I feel a little buzz of excitement for the day ahead.

I stripped the bed and got it in the machine…. it’s washed and hung up to dry before I head to The little gift shop.

I enjoyed getting ready for work. A bit extra makeup as I’m out this afternoon.

Always amazes me how my Fb is set up… “quit complaining and count your blessings. Exactly what I needed to see!!

I took this lovely photo the other night but forgot to post it yesterday. There was a lovely sunset sky outside, Craig had an old paraffin lantern, that’s he’s cleaned up, burning away on the window ledge. With the birth light of the tv… He’s relaxing back watching tv under his crochet blanket. I love how a photo builds up like that.

This is my new view 😂

So this afternoon’s entertainment was something else!! A drag act in the village hall.

Well….. my ears are ringing…. I’ve felt a huge wave of different emotions today but most of all I am really glad that I stepped right out of my comfort zone.

Sat in the village hall with most folk drinking and a drag act stripping off in front of us…. Honestly is my idea of hell. I went from cringing to the point of building abs as my stomach was pulled in so tight, to laughing and singing and then cringing all over again.

Honestly, his sound system really let him down and we couldn’t hear much of what he said….. and he wasn’t the best (not that I have any comparison) but…. The sound of so many women singing along to his songs was pretty special. I love everyone joining in. I got loads of videos to share with the girls.

Here are my “dates” for the day, Evelyn and Shelagh. I’m so grateful to them for coming with me.

Here’s our table.

3 of the girls were great and got up with him. That really made it. They were brilliant!!

We had a lovely lunch provided by the Gateside Inn. I had pate and oatcakes to start and chicken in peppercorn sauce with rice. Super tasty!

I’ve had a laugh, I’ve had a giggle, I’ve cringed, I’ve sung my wee heart out. I don’t do stuff like that anymore. I’m super proud of myself for going and I’m sure my stomach will hurt tomorrow with all that cringing 😂😂😂

And finally….

Don’t forget that in the UK our phones are going to blast out an emergency alert at 3pm tomorrow. (23rd April).

Also so grateful that I totally turned my mood around. ♥️

Happy Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Woke up at 5am…. It was almost light but even although Craig got up, I managed to fall back asleep until just before 7 when I was rudely awakened by two door barging, bounding puppers launching themselves at me!!!

I lay and never moved, trying not to laugh, despite Bhruic trying her best to get under the covers to lick my face. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 She gave up pretty quickly, but Freya lay down and stayed for a while. Calaidh also came in and lay under the bed for a bit. She’d found a peaceful haven.

When I did get up I was really grumpy….. I feel tired, lethargic, lack lustre and irritable.

I think it might be just that time of the month. I don’t quite know where to put myself. I think I just wanted to curl back up in a ball.

Yet it’s a beautiful day. So… I got my gym stuff on and took the dogs out for a run.

I know when I feel like this that’s it’s only temporary and that it will pass but it’s so hard to fight it sometimes. it takes a lot of strength which can be so tiring.

I feel woolly headed but also like I’m wearing a metal hard hat. I feel antsy and irritable and have so little patience it’s unreal. I can’t think straight.

I really did everything I could to fight back.

The dogs were really boisterous and not that well behaved for me, to start off with, but they can always sense when something is wrong.

They did calm down and fall into an orderly trot as we ran. I began to feel better.

Just love the colours.

There was obviously something really exciting going on as the pups checked their pee-mail.

Off to the little gift shop via the pharmacy this morning. Had to pick up the last of my progesterone prescription. It’s in high demand just now and always a bit short of stock when I need a new prescription.

I drove to the big cross section at the end of our street and could feel the anxiety starting to bubble over as I sat waiting for the traffic to clear. I actually just talk to myself to try to calm it. It’s completely irrational and I manage to nip it in the bud.

It was a beautiful day today. Some customers said it was warm and some said it was freezing. Typical Scottish sunshine!

I’ve taken some photos of the lovely flowers in the shop today.

This first one, Gayle made up for a lovely customer today. It’s so pretty.

Focus on the beauty and the anger goes away.

Love this next one 💜

Mid afternoon I almost poured the kettle into the open jar of coffee! I then put the lid on the coffee and put it on the kettle base…. Not where it lives. I’m all confused and jumbled.

I’ve been concentrating on “these feelings are temporary” and “I’ve gotten through these challenges before and I will get through this today”.

I’ve had a great day at the shop and great chats with Gayle but I am shattered tonight. And this last one… ♥️♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Pure blue sky all day! Still a wind that could cut you in two.

So let’s start with last night… I actually crocheted with the Hookers last night. Check me. I’ve not done that in ages. Yes I know that’s the whole point of the Crochet Hookers evening but I’ve just not been feeling the crochet vibe. 😂

Did last night!

I came home to try and lay out the squares to determine the next run of colours.

El puppers had other ideas.

I finally got it laid out the way I wanted despite their best efforts!

I’ll use that last photo to join them together the right way.

Bed at 9.15 as I was shattered.

I got up at 5.45 today and was in work for 7.30am to make up the rest of the time for my early finish yesterday.

It was a lovely drive down. The roads were quiet, the sun was huge and the sky was so blue.

Another fast day at Tartan HQ. It’s been a fab week with lots of lovely customers in and out. It’s been lovely to clear through some smaller jobs this week! Keeps me very busy.

Ellison and I actually managed to sit out at lunch, in a wee sheltered spot. Not exactly a stunning view 😂

Boss man and I left at 3.25 to head up to Paisley to pick up Ailsa, the Tartan rental van, from the garage. She has a new clutch!

I made him take some photos as we drove over the Glennifer Braes near Paisley. A full view of Glasgow in the sunshine. I don’t think any of them would have come out properly in a moving van…. He laughs at me though… oohing and ahhhing over everything I see! I’ve told him he’ll never look at a sunrise or sunset without hearing me wittering on about it!!

I then had to fly back down the road to Beith for my massage tonight with lovely Norma, in Harmony.

It was SO good. I’m yawning just thinking of it! I’m still using my birthday vouchers. I’m so grateful for the vouchers I got. Love a massage!!

So that’s my Thursday! Hope yours was good too!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I so very nearly never put a blog out last night. I feel like my rendition of the weather and dog walks and work is a bit dull at the moment. That’s just normal life I guess.

I am super grateful that I’m not feeling awful. My mood is fine so no drama there!

This morning I woke at 5.32am….. to the sound of birds singing away. Only audible because we’re now in the new bedroom in the apex of our roof.

I suddenly remembered I was to be in work for 7am this morning and so very quickly, really woke up!

Jumped out of bed and decided on dog jog this morning.

We went a different way this morning.

Up the hill, so I couldn’t let them off their leads. They sooooo know what is coming.

Normally dog jog consists of me struggling to breathe and them just walking a wee bit faster. Then me running in front of them and me dragging them behind.

Not so this morning. They were bounding up that road…. To the point that my wee legs just couldn’t keep up! I posted a clip on my Insta account at theramblingsloth.

It was so lovely to see their excitement! They literally dragged me up that hill this morning. I was laughing through my breathing!

Here they are on their way back down. Much more sedate.

We did some daffodil sniffing… them, not me obvs.

It was a lovely, quick burst of exercise.

It’s been another lovely day today but fureeeeeeeeeezing!! Such a cold breeze. Lovely blue skies for much of the day.

The highlight of today was the Border Collie that came to visit Tartan HQ. I got lots of puppy cuddles…. Funny I like to get time away from mine but I’m all over someone else’s 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 I came home from work covered in dog hair… obviously I was most like covered in the first place!

So I left work at 2.30pm as we had an appointment with an accountant for The Scottish Dog Behaviourist.

We had a great meeting and got lots of ideas. The new business is really taking off and it’s great to be a part of it.

So yeah not much else to report. I don’t feel as bored with myself as I did yesterday. That’s a good thing, right?! 😂

My favourite garden plant is flowering finally. We have 3 Forest Flame.

I just love the colours and they will only grow more vibrant in the next few weeks. Spring is coming!

Stay safe everyone 🌼🌺🌸

I have absolutely nothing exciting to talk about today!

We all have those days….. I’m tired, I couldn’t wake up this morning, we had a. great, busy day at work and I’ve been really lazy all evening.

I decided not to write a blog but that only lasted until 9.04pm. 😂 just saying I’m totally ok just not very newsworthy today.

It doesn’t happen very often 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I started the day the wrong way today. I clicked into Sky News….. 😳

There’s a reason I don’t watch, or read the news…..

The world is going crazy. There is far too much drama. Everyone seems to hate everyone else. Everyone is fighting everyone else. Why can’t we all just take a step back and let others do their thing while we do ours.

(That’s easy to say, I guess, until I find something I totally disagree with. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂)

Social media doesn’t help as we are suddenly carrying everyone else’s opinion about in our pocket.

To be fair, these days, I don’t often have strong opinions either way. These last 4 and a half years have brought out the empath in me.

I feel like I see and feel everything. I can understand why people are how they are. I understand when they are angry it’s a culmination of their day, their life experiences, their stresses, their worries, their beliefs. It doesn’t stop me being affected by it at times. I need to take a leaf out of my own book here!

I used to get quite anxious when I could see how easily they could make their lives better… but that’s not my job to fix. I have enough to do fixing mine.

I might get a bit political for some people (which is not like me at all, but, please bear with me here, it comes from a position of empathetic impartiality… 🫣 at 7.50am on a Sunday…. Check…. Me…….) but I saw a couple of things today that made me sad.

• the 155th mass shooting in America in 2023… (it’s only mid April!) under Kentucky law, the gun used cannot be destroyed and has to go back up for auction and use 😳 there will be those who don’t see any problem with that. A gun is a gun is a gun…. And those who are incredulous that law was passed.
• I watched the protesters at the UK’s Grand National horse race yesterday and wondered how you could be that incensed about something to risk arrest…. Then proceeded to gulp back tears as I knew the horse that fell at the first hurdle had died. If you absolutely love an animal then how can you put them through that for money?
• I follow the Asher House on FB and YouTube, it’s a dog rescue in the States. Lee posted yesterday that a Cat rescue lady had taken her own life. She has suffered badly with her mental health all of her life and had previous suicide attempts. She did amazing work in the cat rescue world and was very vocal about her mental health. She STILL got trolled and couldn’t cope with the negativity that was levelled at her. How can anyone be so cruel?!?!
• Look at the HATE directed towards Megan Markle. What if….. even just a teeny weensy bit of her story is true?! What if it’s all true?! It could be and we just don’t know and we are livid with her for ruining the Royal Family’s reputation.

I guess my point is the we don’t know the truth, we can appear just as wrong to the next person with the opposing belief.

We only know what we think and we have been brought up with morals passed on to us by our parents and previous generations. That does not necessarily make US RIGHT.

We can also never assume to know the truth, about anything as there is an insane amount of media coverage in our world.

The Trump supporter follows their biased news as the Biden supporter follows their biased news. Funny how I don’t quote the UK here, I don’t know who they are anymore!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😂

You get the drift.

We can be angry at something for absolutely no reason and WE could be just be as bad as the person or group that we choose to be incensed at.

Just stop for a minute. And breathe.

The next time you get really angry at something… stop, breathe, take a step back and wonder where your anger is coming from.

Why ARE you so angry?

Take a further step back and wonder why the other people might have the opposing view or why they may have done what they have done. What makes them tick?

Don’t always assume the worst.

We are all scared of opposing views. In Scotland people are terrified that independence would break up our great nation and we will be weaker as a result. Better the devil you know…. Yet the other half of Scotland are desperate to get away from the lack of Scottish focus of the UK government.

Understanding this goes a long way.

Not one of us has lived the same life as the next person. Even my little brother and I are very different and we were brought up in the same house 3 years apart.

We all talk about kindness towards each other, but I think that can only be true when we take the time to understand our “opposition”.

Maybe then we can take some of the fire out of our mouths. Maybe we can douse out some of the hatred.

We all need to make a contribution to stop this frenzy.

Otherwise I will have to find an uninhabited island and go live there for the rest of my life.

I’ll have to put barbed wire up around it to stop anyone from getting to it and live my life out in blissful ignorance.

I’m sorry to throw all that at you on a peaceful Sunday but that’s a prime example of how you control your mood and this didn’t go well for me.

I usually look at loads of positive posts on a Sunday morning.

So yeah, I’ve not actually had the best day today. I’ve tidied out drawers and moved clothes around and emptied the desk, but I didn’t achieve half of what I wanted to do.

I found a lot of writing that I did when I was off sick. It’s a good way to see how far I’ve come. Today a bad day is one that just didn’t go to plan. It isn’t one that feels like the end of the world and that’s a huge difference.

We’ve had a movie afternoon as I chose to relax.

I may have had a nap too!

I’ve also re-read what I wrote this morning. The overthinking me worries about upsetting someone. That isn’t my intention.

Craig quite rightly said if someone digs up the pavement outside our front door then we have a right to be upset. Of course he’s right…. 😂😂

I just wish everyone could be kind to each other and just be.

Back to dog walks, house clearances, work and the odd van holiday. Normal service has been resumes tomorrow I promise!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s a beautiful morning. There was frost on the roof this morning, visible from our new garden-facing upstairs bedroom. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I got the running gear on…. It’s been a week since I was last out. Need to get back to it.

I just breathe such a big sigh of relief when I’m out in nature. There’s barely a breath of wind. There’s a warmth to the early morning sun which feels lovely.

The sky is so blue. 💙

And the grass is so green. 💚

Freya didn’t get the “look at the camera” memo.

The daffodils are in full bloom and just so yellow. 💛

There must have been something pretty tasty here. The dogs love a good much of grass.

I didn’t notice it at the time but there’s a bank of mist on the horizon.

It’s just so calm and peaceful.

Keep forgetting that Craig said I should turn the phone upside down to take some photos. Tried it once this morning and it looks really good.

Just love this old gate. It’s been a while since we had a gate photo.

This one is so rusty. It’s just hanging together and no more.

Even writing this now, I take a big breathe in and appreciate the solitude and beauty of an early morning sunny walk.

The village is looking picturesque too!

Back home and the less attractive poop scoop done and I’m sitting in the garden in a T-shirt, drinking peppermint tea.

Freya always has to have something in her mouth. This is a leaf…..

This morning was also all about the tennis ball. 🎾🎾🎾

By the time I left for The little gift shop, the mist had come right in from the sea. There were misty patches all across the fields.

The shop was very bright, sunny and flowery today! It was much quieter today but probably because people saw the sunshine.

I came home and spent most of the afternoon outside. It’s lovely. I’m in a vest top when most folk would be in a jumper but that’s how I roll.

I’m clearing things from around the house into one room and also clearing out drawers. Bring everything outside, sort it into piles and take it all back in…. Yes double handling I guess, but making the most of this lovely day.

It has been cloudy on and off but in general there’s a lovely warmth to the sun.

Can you see what I see?!?

We (there’s that “we” word again) have to cut back the ivy before it threatens to take over the pub.

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is a man of many talents…. 😂

I’m sitting on that bench now although I’ve moved it round the garden to catch the sun.

It’s so peaceful out here. Craig’s watching the football and I have my feet up. There’s only the odd sound of passing traffic and of course, lots of birds chattering away!!

And relax….. happy Saturday!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Oh my actual word. I had THE best sleep.

Wow. I’m so grateful.

I woke up at 6.10am when a dog barked (couldn’t figure out which one!) and I’m oblivious to any other movement through the night. Craig said he got up at 1.30 and I never heard a single squeaky floorboard.

Thanks to the progesterone part of HRT.

I used to say here that progesterone was not my friend. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 How times have changed….. that’s me back on it for the next two weeks. I was slightly excited when I realised I had to start taking it last night.

My reminder worked…. I didn’t get one saying start taking it, closely followed by one saying stop taking it…. Like I did a few months ago. Check me.

Is this maybe 5 months in now I think and finally the reminders are accurate. Didn’t take that long then eh?!?

It’s been a beautiful day at times. We were really busy at work so I ended up outside a fair bit of the day, which has been lovely!!

We had a photoshoot with a brand new van that we have converted. It only had 65 miles on the clock! I ran around taking loads of photos, as you do, if you’re me. 😂 I was in my element!! Will wait until work share them before I do…. Even though I took them. 😂

It was actually really warm in the sun for a bit today. I’ve got rosy cheeks. 😊

By the time I left work, it was starting to rain. I went to Aldi on the way home and got completely soaked taking the shopping back to the van. Drookit!

So yeah, a good day today.

Bhru on the other hand has lost her ball under this really annoying unit…. 😂

Looking forward to some chill time this weekend.

Stay safe everyone 🌧️🌦️☀️

So yeah, if you’ve been reading this week you’ll know I’m gutted it isn’t day 2000 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 I wonder if I’ll cope with adding a day to the 1100’s without thinking 2000 is just around the corner?!? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ funny how your mind works. Or funny how mine works.

Didn’t sleep great last night but Fitbit says otherwise. I did my usual mind searching for why my sleep felt broken?!? I have nothing…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It was super wet and stormy last night and we usually hear nothing in old bedroom with it’s foot thick walls…… not so silent in the apex of the roof maybe?!?

We’ve love hearing the sound of the weather, it’s a bit like camping but in luxury!

So you know me…. These days I’m a bit of a home bird. Even more so now that I can’t wait to get home to my “new” house. I just want to be here all the time!

I got up early to put away lots of washing. I sat in our new living room and had peppermint tea. I felt like I was surrounded, can’t think why?!?

Don’t leave us mum, don’t go to work. Sooooo could have stayed home today. It’s just too exciting and I want to keep doing “stuff!”.

Anyway, work was great. Lots of customers coming and going and I always love that. The day flew by.

A bit deja vu like… this is dinner!! Only pizza tonight but still better than a bag of crisps.

This photo showed us the foldy up table under the couch cannot stay there…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Craig has painted the “sky” on this rooms tealight village…. The boy is obsessed. 😂

I should be clear here and say the tealight village has moved rooms… we don’t have two 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 we do still have the dark painted shelf in the old living room… I’m sure Craig will already be wondering what he can put on it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

So the only negative to this room is the fireplace. It’s been all blocked up and we used to have the bed cover it up.

Craig cleaned it all out this afternoon and has put some tea lights in it to try and brighten it up. Can’t wait to see what it looks like in the dark.

We obviously want to do something with it but it will have to stay like this for a while.

Forgot to put this in yesterday, Rachel two doors down sent me a photo last night of “ma boat” down in Newcastle!

So not much else to report, I have the Crochet Hookers tonight and I may actually take my crochet with me tonight! Imagine….

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What is it with me?! I’m gonna be so disappointed when we hit day 1100 and I’m still expecting it to be day 2000 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Anyway, FANTASTIC sleep last night. It seems I can only drink water and decaf coffee to have any chance of sleeping these days. Goodness only knows how I slept on 6 cups of coffee and a bottle of red wine in the olden days?!?!

I’m still loving the hotel/holiday home effect of swapping bedrooms. It gives you a wee smile as it just feels so very different waking up in a new room. It also helps that the rooms that we have worked on are actually spotlessly clean. I can’t tell you how good that makes me feel. A tidy house is a very tidy and clear mind, in my head.

I still have a computer in the small toilet, an extra door in the bathroom and stuff everywhere but the potential is so exciting!!!

Craig’s been a superstar today and moved us into the new living room which was our old bedroom. We’ve decided to call the rooms by their new names…. The living room formerly known as the bedroom 😂😂 gets a bit wordy.

He’s moved so much furniture on his own!! I am very grateful as I really wasn’t relishing the “bite your head off” furniture move. 😂

It’s 7.20pm and I’ve had to force myself to sit down and write this. I’ve been putting things away trying to control the mess.

I’ve cooked a lovely Aldi crumbly Mozzarella and Balsamic Chicken with herby potatoes and broccoli. I ate it in my new living room. The tv seems very far away 😂

It seriously needs decorated but that will have to wait.

It’s lovely to have this feature wall as part of our living room and not just behind the bed.

The tealight village has found a new home!

And finally my Hope Blamire original painting has pride of place on the wall. Think Bhru is checking it out?!?

This is how the room used to look!

I’m sure we’ll change it a lot moving forward but it’s lovely to have something to focus rather than vegging in front of the tv!

I’m listening to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast today with Melissa Urban. She’s written books on setting boundaries and she talks about the importance of putting yourself first before others.

Now it’s quite toe curling at times but it’s a great listen. I’ll post the link.

Happy Place – setting boundaries

Boundaries have really helped my recovery. They are not easy to set. Awkward and difficult to stick to at times but I need to be strong to help keep my peace. I can’t do anything that I don’t want to do anymore as I not my best self.

I’m not proud of some of the things I have done but I have done them for, what I thought, were the right reasons for me. I know I have upset some people along the way but good friends will understand and respect your boundaries.

The podcast is a great listen.

Off to do some more tidying up!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️

I thought the traffic would be quiet this morning. To be fair, my traffic is nothing more than a road of people driving in the same direction….. I have a cheek to call it traffic. There are never any queues. 😆 Anyway, there were a lot more people working this morning than I expected. That was my point 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’m shattered today. I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I felt wide awake. I got up to the loo at 11.24pm and again at 3.15am. Then awake at 5 and woke as if I’d been dead to the world at 6.15am.

We were in our new bedroom….. it did feel strange but I was just awake. I did drink a lot of lemonade yesterday. That was my treat…. 😂 wonder how much caffeine there is in lemonade?!? I was wired to the moon all night!

Our house must be about 300+ years old…. We have very squeaky floorboards upstairs. 😂 it make such a racket 😂 it will just take a bit of getting used to. We’re both loving the change though.

A change is as good as a rest, my lovely Gran used to say. She was right!

So work was surprisingly busy today. A few lovely customer visits but by the end of the day I had ticked off everything I’d wanted to do, and more.

Do you ever add things to a list just to cross them off because you’ve already done them?!? I do that all the time. It’s super rewarding!

I had a feet up lunch in the van. I just needed a change of scenery. I got the diesel heater on and could have gone for a snooze!

I showed Claire around the “house move work in progress”, when I got home. Her hubby told her not to get any ideas 😂 he had kindly helped us move a wardrobe yesterday when I just couldn’t move it!

So then I tidied up some of the mess. We are living with a computer in the small toilet, a desk in the sunroom etc, so I tidied these up to make a bit more space. It’s one thing to be in a mess but another to have to climb over that mess. I now have organised mess 😂

I also have a spare door inside my bathroom. But that is ok. There’s worst things in life. (Remind me of that the longer this goes on!)

I also made dinner. Salmon fish cakes with skinny fries and roasted peppers and onions. Not sure where this new found dinner inspiration has come from, I’d usually want a big bag of crisps!! It was really lovely.

And just because… this is too cute!!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I lay in bed this morning and caught up on some positive FB feed on my Rambling Sloth page.

Now….. I am not a trauma survivor but I thought this summed me up perfectly. I read that and relax a bit because alone is easy.

It’s not the way to live a life though, you heal from your triggers by facing up to them. As hard as that can be.

Easter Sunday 2023…. The day we started to rearrange our whole house… and I’m not exaggerating!

We have decide on a proper reshuffle. We’ve been talking about it for a while. We have a whole room upstairs that we hardly ever use. So…..

The bedroom will become the living room.

The spare bedroom will become our bedroom.

The office will become the spare bedroom.

The living room will become a dining room and be used as an office if necessary

The dogs room will stay the dogs room….. if we ever find the floor again, now that it’s the new dumping ground.

What a day.

We are knackered and don’t have the luxury of a holiday tomorrow. Least we’ll both sleep tonight.

How many times will we bang our heads on the low roof upstairs?!?! Now that the bed is up there it ain’t ever coming down.

So while the rest of the world ate chocolate eggs, we don’t even have one…. Bah humbug Easter people.

We started at about 8am and finally sat down about 5.30pm. Dinner’s in the oven thanks to my super shop the other day. Chicken wrapped in Parma ham and cheese, with herby potatoes and cauliflower.

Check me. Normally we’d get a takeaway after a day like today but I had food in the fridge which makes a change!

So the house is still a riot and there’s loads more to me done but at least I know where my work clothes are for tomorrow.

Enjoy Easter Monday those of you who are off. Tartan will be going strong. Lots to get through this week!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I should start by saying I smile as I write the blog these days…. As I type up the day and think to myself, I can’t believe we are nearly at day 2000…. We’re not dearest, day 2000 does not come after day 1099 but I think that every single day before my inner voice has a good laugh. 😆😬🙄🤘

Craig politely declined, “bite your head off dog walk” this morning, can’t think why?!? So I headed out for dog jog with the puppers.

The wild daffies are in full bloom!

Bhru’s talking to Calaidh 😂 love the way they look at each other when we run! (They actually do look like they are stationary here 😂😂)

Then Freya started to limp a fair bit. I stopped and checked her paws, found nothing but she was still limping pretty badly.

I then thought I might have to carry her so I picked her up 😳😬 but there was no way on this earth, that I was going to be able to carry her and walk the other two home. 🙄😂

When we got home she had cuddles with the Scottish Dog Behaviourist. That seems to have made it all better.

I went out into the garden to take this through the window. I should say that Craig still uses the crochet blanket I made for him!

I stripped the bed, washed it and hung it out on the line before work. I put a second washing in before I left. It feels cold and might not dry but at least it will get a good blow around in the fresh air.

Then had to pop to the Pharmacy to pick up my repeat HRT prescription. This is my third batch. There’s a shortage or progesterone but I got some of it thankfully. Just have to get the remainder on back order.

I spoke to them about a pain I have in my big toe joint. I’d taken photos in the sun last night when I got home from work. Don’t worry I’ll spare you 😬😆 but she did say she was sorry but……. it may be the start of a bunion…. 😳

I have no pain for days and then all of a sudden it feels excruciating. It’s like the joint has a pulse, yet as I sit here writing, I can’t feel a thing. I haven’t felt it all day today but it was really sore yesterday.

Now I should say here, that we’re no strangers to bunions in my family so it shouldn’t really come as a surprise to me. 😆

I had a great day at The little gift shop. It was really busy. I love that buzz!! When I finished I had to pop up to the Lochwinnoch shop to pick up some flowers to deliver to a lovely customer.

I couldn’t resist a wee sunflower selfie! The sun was shining and it felt quite warm.

I popped into drop off the flowers on the way home and had a lovely chat with a poor lady who is housebound until her mobility scooter arrives. I’m certain we’ll see her flying up and down the pavements soon!!

Home for 20 minutes, changed and back out to the Gateside Inn next door, for what could be the last meal ever. It’s up for sale and the kitchen is closing from tomorrow. We had chicken tempura to share, to start, steak pie for mains and a hot chocolate fudge cake to share, for pud!

I was pre-sad when I only had 4 chips left on my plate!!

We came back home after late lunch and I’ve been pottering. I’ve made the bed back up with the clean sheets, cleaned the windows, tidied up a bit and have finally sat down to write this. I could sleep now!!

It’s clouded over now but it is lovely to have had some bright weather these last few days.

I’m sooooo ready for my one and only day off tomorrow!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

The moon was enormous when I was out with the dogs last night!

It’s like the sun rising….

I woke at 3.30am today and couldn’t get back to sleep. Reckon I did for about an hour and woke about 6.30am. Sluggish and grouchy.

It’s a beautiful morning. The forecast is for sunshine all day. It’s cold though when you’re out of the sun.

We started the morning with me dressed for a dog jog but Craig coming for a walk. A potential photo shoot opportunity!

Now I will be very honest here and say that I was out appreciating the beauty and wonder of the early morning sunset while Craig has a lot on today and used the time to chat.

😬🙈

I did not respond well to this intrusion into my silent wonderment. Is that even English?!? Safe to say…. It was a learning curve. Either go on your own for a walk if you need space or remember that when you’re together that you actually should be capable of communication! Sorry handsome boy 😘

It’s been a beautiful day. ☀️☀️☀️

Everyone that comes into the shop tells me how warm it is outside…. Easily our warmest day of the year so far. I took my gloves off at 1.30pm 😂😂 wore my scarf all day. It was cool in the shop with the door open though we were able to switch the heating off mid afternoon.

The shop is beautiful this week… not that it isn’t always 😂 Gayle has bought loads of new stock. It’s so springlike. Here’s a selection of photos.

I just love working in this beautiful space. It’s been a fairly busy day and passed really quickly.

I’m home now…. Still wearing the scarf but sitting out in the back garden.

Need to go and out some dinner on to save getting a takeaway. Something nice and healthy instead.

Hope you had a lovely sunny day. It might still be warm-ish when I finish work tomorrow, I hope!!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Wide awake at 4am. 😳

Tried really hard to get back to sleep but just couldn’t do it. Too much whirling round in my head.

As usual work went really quickly today. There were no major dramas and I got through loads of work and sorted everything ready for a busy week next week.

Craig dropped me off and picked me up again and we went straight to the garage tonight, to pick up his car. I have my wheels back!’ Poor Abbie the Campervan has done loads of mileage this week chauffeuring me around although it has been lovely not having to drive.

On the way back home I stopped in at Aldi’s for a food shop. You’ll be pleased to hear I did eat today. Only fasted for 16.5 hours. That’s way more manageable. 😂

I’ve got some nice healthy food to stop us wasting money on takeaway over the weekend. Check me!

It’s 7.30pm already. The Tartan washing is on. If I don’t do it now, I’ll forget. 😳😂

We’re working Monday so no big Easter break for us. Lots of suppliers were saying, have a great Easter, have a great weekend! Least Monday will be quiet.

It’s been lovely and sunny since I left work. It felt really warm through the windows of the van. I think it’s to be nice tomorrow too. Sunshine always puts a spring in your step. ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

I was hoping to fit in a wild sea swim in the morning before the Little gift shop, but, I got the tides wrong and the tide is out at 7.23am and not in. 😂 That just means a long, cold walk back to the van!

I also may have seriously overthought this (no, surely not, I hear you say….😆) but when you go swimming at high tide, you are swimming over ground that you can walk on later in the day, when the tide is out. When you go swimming at low tide, you are swimming over ground that never sees the light of day. Not sure I fancied that?!?! 😂 I know…… it made me laugh thinking it though.

Now that I’ve written that out I realise it’s completely crazy. I’ve swum in lakes and ponds before that aren’t tidal…. 😂😂😂 at least I make myself laugh at times.

After my 24 hour fast yesterday I stood side on to Craig and said “can you still see me?!? I’ve wasted away….” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😘

It would appear I’m still fairly visible. 😆

Also does anyone actually know about this…… I don’t watch or listen to the news but Craig hadn’t heard of it either.

Who knew?!?!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Is that even a thing?!? It’s not been that quiet on the western front today but it has been wonderfully calm.

I was shattered after Kinesiology last night, as expected.

We do the call over Zoom and I’m conscious at the start, I’m cuddled into Gran’s crochet blanket, as if protecting myself or hiding from the things that make me feel sad. It’s funny how we can see a physical change in ourselves when we feel low. I look shattered, I look sad and I’m all curled up inside of myself.

As usual, describing Health Kinesiology is one of the most difficult things to do but I cannot tell you how much I love it. I’m intrigued to see what my body will want to work on (yeah I hear that sounding as crazy as it sounds….)

I think I’ve been absorbing a lot of negative energy these last few weeks and my fight or flight response has been triggered a lot. If something doesn’t sit right with me, I literally have an eruption within me that spews anger inside of me. It’s a completely irrational response to something that is not that bad. It might show as a defensive comment, a snide remark, a dig, a joke but inside I’m ready to run. My hands are thrown up in the air, I’m making that face of a huffy teenager who can’t get her way. Most of all I’m incensed by something that really is nothing. The voice in my head is telling my that it’s what I deserve, I’m not worthy…. Blah blah blah.

Kinesiology takes all of that and gives me rational reasons for it all.

So I slept like a log. Completely out for the count until 4.45am. Someone…… who shall remain nameless, may have been awake 😂

So I wrote all of this before I went to work today. I feel like I’ve been inside a washing machine ever since!!!!

I had a quiet morning, got lots done and this afternoon my worst case scenario happened. A rental camper broke down on my watch!!! My first reaction was one of horror….. I’m the only one that can deal with it today. Panic, panic, panic…… nope I can’t do that today, I have to deal with this. I started talking to myself calmly and rationally. I was devastated I had to phone my boss for a phone number and interrupt his day off but I worked my way through it all. I even messaged a friend up north to ask if he knew which garage would pick up the recovery. I then called the garage about an hour before the RAC finally called it through to him!

My fear is that I will do the wrong thing or not do it how it should be done. Today I had confidence in myself that I would do it the way I did it and that that would be ok. Let’s face it. It’s not hard to do and not much that can go wrong. I just usually panic and don’t think rationally.

I’m so chuffed with how I handled that today.

Can you see how hard it is to be in my mind sometimes and I am certain I’m not the only one.

In other news however, I forgot to eat today.

Now don’t all get angry with me and tell me it’s not good for me, but by the time dinner is ready I will have fasted for 24 hours. I am barely in control of my speech and I have the giggles so I definitely couldn’t manage any longer than this. We have talked about trying a 4 day fast but I honestly couldn’t do it, I’d pass out.

It gets quite addictive. I missed lunch as I was on the phone from just before it. I then had customers come in and they took up a bit of time. By the time I went back to my desk I had messaged to respond to and all of a sudden it was 3.45. I didn’t feel like eating my lunch so thought I’d wait until dinner. Craig and I are both so hangry that we couldn’t decide what we wanted so that wasted some more time 😂

Anyway I won’t make a habit of this. It was only because I was getting a lift home.

That could be the biggest load of waffle I’ve ever written 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️