Healing mental health during COVID-19 times and beyond
Author: Julie
I’m healing from anxiety and depression and exploring my way through a whole new lovely world with an abundance of awareness and a new love for life… and travelling the world!
It’s 5pm and I’m sitting at the side of Kilbirnie Loch. I’m getting my toes painted at 5.30 nearby, not enough time to go home really.
It’s so hot, beautiful blue sky and there seems to be no one here but me.
I literally just typed that and 2 dog walkers have just walked around the corner. 😂
I’ve just been woo woo woo’d at by a wee white fluffy dog because I said hello!
It is beautiful. So calm and peaceful. This swan just did a wing flap for me!! I love the photo but it’s maybe a bit too zoomed in to be anything special?!
A lovely end to a hectic day. I’ve been so busy these last few weeks that I’ve had to leave a lot of work not done but I hope that I’ve done everything that really needed done… I just know what I’m going back to.
I do need the break. With the exception of Iceland and my friend Helen visiting, I’ve been working 5.5 days a week. I’m looking forward to some down time…. And what a way to start, sitting right here!!
Craig and I are heading off on Saturday morning for a week in Clachtoll, north of Ullapool. It’s a long drive, but it’s the first time we’ve been on the Scottish mainland for a summer holiday for a while. No ferry trips this time.
The forecast keeps changing and doesn’t look the best at the moment but it will be what it is. It will be lovely if we get some sunshine like this.
I slept in this morning and did not make sunrise. I woke about 2 hours after sunrise and it was cloudy so I hope I didn’t miss anything, I hope!!
It’s been hot today but with a heavy rain shower late morning. It was much cooler when it rained.
I was super busy again today but still managed to sit out at lunchtime, even if it was a bit cooler and windy. I just have to tie my hair up so I don’t eat it!
I reached a level of acceptance this afternoon… my ducks are finally lining up… I’ve realised there are some things I won’t get done and I’ve had to accept that’s ok. sorry I should say that’s before I go on holiday. Tomorrow is my last day at Tartan until Monday 3rd July! Holiday!
I stayed back tonight to wash Abbie the Campervan. I had to tighten the bolts for the pop top roof and I hoovered and cleaned and tidied up everything for going away. I was on a roll when Craig phoned to remind my I had “knitting” tonight as he calls crochet! I’d forgotten!!!
Quick rush home, crackers and cheese for a rushed dinner then off to crochet!
I was shattered when I got up this morning again. Slept like a log all night and could hardly move when the alarm went off. Since starting HRT I reckon this would most likely be time of the month, but nothing happens anymore so maybe I just have the lethargy and negativity so graciously served up at this time, or I’m actually just tired and grumpy!
I dragged myself out on dog jog and actually felt so much better for doing it. I was very grateful for dog sniffing to save me jogging!
It’s super cloudy this morning, rain forecast but warm considering it’s only 6am.
So I actually felt great this morning.
Noticed that I wasn’t able to like any comments on my new Just Jules Photography page first thing, but figured it must be a signal issue and didn’t think any more of it.
Got the monthly stock check completed today which is always a big task. All these ducks that I want in a row for finishing up on Thursday, grew arms and legs and started walking away from me! Jobs that I thought were easy became more than I bargained for. I think I have to accept that I won’t get it all done.
I also felt a bit like this before we finished up for Iceland. The pressure I put on myself, to leave everything in a perfect state, makes me anxious and worried when things don’t go to my well laid plans. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. I catastrophize about everything that could go wrong when I’m not there to manage my side of it. Why would I ever take holidays eh?!
Today’s motto was “ works well under pressure…NOT!” I reckon. I do not work well when I’m out of control, that’s for sure.
I found out at lunchtime that I was on some kind of 9 hour curfew with Facebook….
My activity didn’t follow which standards? Doesn’t help that everyone I told said “what did you do wrong?” 🥺
My account was hacked a few weeks back. Someone random accepted s friend request that I hadn’t made. I caught it quick and my password was changed. since then they keep asking me if my activity is my own…. Which is great really but it feels like FB hasn’t been the same since. My newsfeed has been dreadfully slow, mostly businesses and I hadn’t felt right for a while. Now this. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Then the doctors surgery phoned to say, “good news, we have managed to track down some Utrogestan (progesterone) for you…. You just have to collect it in Howood”
😳
I felt so deflated by everything. Real doom and gloom and humphing about thinking it’s so unfair I can’t even drink to cheer myself up.
None of these things are a big deal…. I apologised to the lady calling from the doctor, for my dejected tone and told her I’d just had a bad afternoon and I thanked her for trying to source the progesterone… she felt really bad that I had to try and get to Howood which is actually 12 minutes from here. That puts it into perspective doesn’t it! I work 5.5 days a week and don’t have any spare time to go and get it…. But I will have to make the time!
So I listened to Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast on the way home.
That did the trick. Sorry I should also add that I vented it all to poor mum… that probably really did the trick and the podcast smoothed over the cracks.
Take time for yourself every day to be present in the day.
They called it a ritual. I don’t imagine much more of a ritual than writing a daily blog every day, so it was great to hear of the benefits of doing something like this. Sitting with your emotions, anger, fear and worry and trying to understand it. Even if only for 30 seconds a day. This, of course, takes me way longer than that 😆
The blog hasn’t posted automatically over to FB for 3 nights now. These things are sent to try us! There’s good reason so many people avoid it! Will see how it goes tonight.
It’s a beautiful evening. The sun is hot. I’ve had another lovely salad, fasting is still going well and we go on holiday on Saturday. So much to be grateful for. I’ve had an alcohol free pink gin and lemonade in a gin glass with a huge ice cube!!
It made a lovely sound as I swirled the ice cube round in the glass. Like a bell ringing… kinda.
I would love to get up for sunrise tomorrow morning on Summer Solstice but it’s at 4.34am and the forecast looks cloudy…. I would also love to stay up for sunset at 22.07!! I am fairly certain my tiredness will allow neither. 😆
I have no idea where today went! It was the fastest day. I got loads done but the time just flew by.
I finish up for a week on Thursday so I’m trying to get all my ducks in a row… today we added at least 4 more ducks 🦆 🦆🦆🦆 they are definitely not in any kind of row just yet. It’s great to be busy like that! It never stops!
We had torrential rain overnight and into this morning. I set my alarm for dog jog but just couldn’t wake up enough to take them out this morning. I only gave in because I knew Craig was around to take them out this morning. Instead I had a nice leisurely shower and even blow dried my hair which is fairly unusual these days. We even sat and had coffee together before I went out. Again…. Fairly unusual on a “school” day.
The rain was actually lovely this morning. It was so heavy and so fresh, it was good to see the yellow grass getting some water. It was dried up before about 10ish and had been pretty hot ever since. My weather app did not get that memo. I was roasting in jeans and trainers as I drove home in Abbie 38°C heat!!! That was hot.
I had to pop into the pharmacy tonight to pick up my HRT prescription. Its the third time I’ve gone in to ask for it. To be fair, I should wait for the text to say the script has arrived at the pharmacy…. But no… I prefer to cancel my plans for a food shop and head there instead, not knowing whether it’s ready or not. Yup you guessed it…. Not up from the surgery yet.
I had a little strop inside my head… how could they blah blah blah…. and then I calmed right down. I sat in Abbie 33°C heat and tracked it all down. After calls to the docs and calls between them and the pharmacy… it was indeed at the pharmacy. 🤦🏻♀️😆 instead of getting annoyed, I felt relief walking back into the freezing air conditioning of the pharmacy.
So it appears that the progesterone, Utrogestan is not available at the moment. The doc needs to prescribe an alternative. It’s not safe to take the oestrogen Evorel without taking the progesterone. I have enough to last me this week and I don’t need progesterone for another fortnight. Have to wait and see what they come up with.
Craig posted this today on his Scottish Dog Behaviourist FB page.
I like that. ♥️
I’m still adding photos onto my new photography page…. Just Jules Photography. I don’t have a lot of followers yet but that’s ok. I’m enjoying looking through my shots and posting them.
I sat outside for dinner but the sun went in and i was freezing. Now wrapped up on the couch in a blanket and it’s just started to rain again!!
Another little woof awakening this morning at 6.30am…. They’ve become regular wee alarm clocks these days. I did try and go back to sleep but it was never going to happen.
So it’s been a stay at home kind of day today except we popped into the pub at 3pm for our next door neighbour, Kenny’s birthday. We’ve managed to sit outside all afternoon, even under spots of rain and the ominous clouds! It was nice to see everyone and catch up! Didn’t even take a photo!’
I’ve done some housework and sorted out my clothes drawers but for most of the day I’ve been sat on my laptop… as you do on a Sunday…. Not!
I know that I want to do something more with my photography so I have downloaded the Lightroom app, along with Snapfish and Photobox. I need to start seeing what some of them look like printed out.
I’ve also set up a FB page today and decided to call it Just Jules Photography. Please click the link and give the page a like, she says, very nervously!!
It’s not about me, it’s not about the Rambling Sloth… it’s Just Jules.
I’m not certain what will come of it yet but it’s a start. I want to be able to share my photos and not just add them to the blog. It’s the one thing I feel very passionate about.
I love taking photos. I love looking for the next shot. Sometimes a “point and press” photo turns out to be stunning! I take photos when I walk and photos when I jog. I don’t currently spend hours setting them up. This may encourage me to spend a bit more time looking for that next subject.
You should have seen me this morning with the Lightroom app…… I was like a wee kid having tantrums…. There’s a reason I’ve not done anything like this before. It’s always been too much like hard work! I couldn’t understand half of the tutorial and had to rewatch sections countless times… but I got there and I now understand how the app works. There are a whole host of options that may be too much for my calm, relaxed brain these days…. But it’s a definite step up from where I was this morning.
I am really pleased that I actually got the ball rolling. Several people have told me I should do more with my photos…. I am listening, eventually! Gayle gave me one great big push earlier this weekend.
In an other much lighter note…. I had a wee photo shoot with my Vinted and Charity Shop dresses, last night. Craigie made a great photographer!
This outfit was from the British Heat Foundation in Largs.
Dress, £5.50, bolero cardigan £6.50 and fascinator £8 with a tag on it that said £40!! Whole outfit £20 and I do NOT do fuschia pink…. Ever!!
This next one also the British Heart Foundation.
Dress was £6.50 and is from Oasis.
This next one was from Vinted and was £3!!!!
Next one is a Shein dress from Vinted for £7.
And finally my least favourite…. From Vinted and £4…. It’s the tightest one that I got so I’ll probably sell it on.
I’m showing the one from behind as it was a bit of a tummy hugger. 😂
I honestly love that I’ve got such great deals for all of these dresses. I need to sell some more on Vinted again soon…. I still have quite a few dresses that I won’t wear anymore so someone else could make use of them. If I can eradicate the dog hair that is.
Well that was the weekend…. Only 6 more sleeps until our summer holiday so will be a busy week at Tartan trying to get all my ducks in a row 🦆🦆🦆🦆
I say that hay fever slapped me in the face but I actually feel like I went looking for it!
I haven’t really suffered much since my late 20’s…. So today I thought it would be a good idea to walk the dogs into a beautiful field…
Looks so pretty. The reality though is that I have sneezed since I left that field. I’ve obviously stirred up the most incredible pollen….
Poor Calaidh is scared of a sneeze. As you do the big inhale she comes running for cuddles and when you actually sneeze… she tried to head for the hills, with her tail between her legs!! Not so easy when she is attached to a lead through all of this.
The whole way home, come running for cuddles, nope I’m off, come running for cuddles, nope I’m off……. 😂 it was actually quite comical if the sneezing and dog antics weren’t so difficult to handle. I sneezed the WHOLE way home. She hasn’t spoken to me since 😂😘 anyway, I did get some pretty photos.
CalaidhBhruicFreya
I saw my first real thistle this morning.
And Bhru spotted some cows down in the burn.
There’s hardly any water. We are desperate for rain. It’s not so sunny today but still warm.
The little gift shop was really busy today and it started to rain for a short time. It was always forecast and it’s super cloudy but muggy.
Gayle and I had decided to go back out to Largs today to visit the charity shops. There’s a new one opened right at the ferry terminal. I picked Gayle up at 3 and we headed over.
I did really well and got 2 wedding outfits, yes, second hand and I will probably sell them on or donate them back to charity after our 3 weddings are over this year. I am not a fancy dressed person these days but I’ve enjoyed trying on dresses!
Love this next photo. The clouds are so atmospheric and I just spotted the wee seagulls… posing for the shot!!
Look how dry the grass is. At least it should get some water soon with the rain that’s coming.
We had a lovely wee shopping trip and back home just before 6!
Craig has the boys in for the Scotland v Norway game and Jim brought chilli with him so I just had a lovely feed and I’m sitting in the garden writing this! Barry two doors down is getting the goals about 20 seconds before our house. I hear him screaming and then our living room erupts!!! 🏴 I think Scotland might be winning?!? Unless they are suddenly screaming for Norway?! 😂
It’s 21.56 and I haven’t written the blog yet. What a busy day!!! I’ll have to make this quick as I am ready for bed!
I’ve had another excellent day.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist waved the dogs this morning and I was going to sit out in the sun and have a decaf coffee. Instead I decided to hoover the whole house, as you do. That said, I’m so glad I did it as I haven’t hoovered for weeks!!
Gayle and I decided at the little gift shop today, to go out another wee trip to Largs for ice cream tonight! 🍦🍦
I’m afraid it’s going to be another photo bomb 😆
We headed over for about 6.30pm and it was really misty and moody.
Thanks to the little seagull for the photo bomb!
Spotted this lovely heart stone that only looked like a heart on the way out of Largs, not when you looked at it on the way into Largs.
Another lovely evening and thanks to Gayle for the company and great chats!
I feel like the forecasts show the weather will break tomorrow and I didn’t want to miss a last sunset if it’s getting more cloudy.
I had such a lovely time last night witb the Crochet Hookers. We went to Portencross beach last night instead of the village pub, for a wee change, in the sunshine.
It was just so nice. It was still scorching hot right up until 9.30pm when we left to drive home. The scenery was stunning as usual, and the company just made it extra special. We’ve never done anything like that before.
As soon as we got there we met someone that Lesley knew and got him to take our photo!! Anne had made us a Hookers on Tour sign, the minus 1 is because Jane couldn’t make it last night. Evelyn said she would bring some nibbles and we should all bring something to drink.
Surprisingly enough, some cans of alcohol free pink gin and lemonade had arrived on my door step the day before!!! It’s my favourite and I could only assume Holly had spotted them at the cash and carry while she was shopping for the pub. Such a lovely gift.
Evelyn’s spread was amazing. Crisps and dips and antipasto… and of course Lesley and Anne brought nibbles too. I was the only one that just brought my drink…. 🤦🏻♀️😂
This was our view.
We sat for almost 2 hours until a few midges came out and then decided to go for a wander round to Portencross Castle. I can never get enough of this place!
Of course I ran down to my secret spot! Now everyone knows where it is. 😆
Sorry for such a large photo dump but I honestly can’t choose between them and there are lots more that didn’t even make this cut.
Obligatory car selfie on the way home.
I used to sit and cry for days on end about 4 and a half years ago. Anne (back left!) mentioned that she’d like to go to a crochet class and I said I’d like to do that too. I didn’t know Lesley and Evelyn.
If you’re new to the blog, thinking what an amazing life I seem to be living, then I want you to know it wasn’t always like this. I always want to remember how bad the bad days were to appreciate how far I have come.
I appreciate every single minute of it and I appreciate these ladies for always being the voice of reason and knowing when it was a bad day. They can read me like a book….. that’s a ridiculous line given that I write my life like a book but you know what I mean. 😂
I had a truly exceptional Wednesday. Who knew that was even a thing?!? In the olden days Wednesday was always just hump day. It meant there was less working week until the weekend. I was closer to getting a rest and being able to drown my sorrows in red wine.
No more. This week the weather has been our summer and that has definitely helped but I’ve lived life to the max while working at the same time.
I came home from work tonight and had a free massage at Harmony in Beith where lovely Norma worked her magic. I have one more free massage to go and that’s the end of my 50th birthday vouchers. What an amazing gift to be given.
Now I’m off into the pub to meet our friends Lindsday and Euan. Looking forward to the laugh we always have and running late fonishing this so best dash.
There’s an 0% pink gin and slim waiting for me in the beer garden!
Bet you never saw that headline coming?!? I never….. let me reiterate, I swam 750m before 7am this morning and it was amazing!!! For some perspective that is 30 lengths of a 25m swimming pool. I have NEVER swam 30 lengths in one go before. Ever!
Until this morning that is, so now I have. 🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️
Always love a new emoji!
So one of the swimming ladies I met through my swim buddies Ellison and Eileen, Chantal, swims at a pond close to Tartan HQ. It’s the same pond I have had paddle board lessons in.
This is it a 6am. A group of ice-men in dipping.
I messaged Chantal last night and asked if she was planning a swim either today or Thursday and she said could meet me this morning.
Big grins excited to get in the water.
Bookers pond, as it’s located known due to its location next to Bookers Cash and Carry in Irvine, is actually Shewalton Water. It’s been set out with 4 buoys in a rectangle to distance triathlon swimmers.
We got changed here!
We set off for the first buoy and I get a wave of concern wash over me. What if I couldn’t swim that far, what if I held her up, what if I was knackered half way round and couldn’t get back….. I voiced my concerns…. As I do!
Chantal said that we could cut across the pond half way instead if I was tired, or we could turn round and swim back obviously… as soon as she said that I knew I’d be disappointed if we didn’t swim the whole way. With that in mind… off we went.
In true Julie fashion, I felt the fear, did the full lap anyway and loved every single minute of it.
I cannot tell you how beautiful it was. The sun a huge low ball in the sky, in between two windmills. The sunshine made everything seem that bit more magical.
I have no photos of the swim as I couldn’t get the phone to work and it did end up with water in the wee “waterproof” bag. 🥴 the few photos I did manage to take were awful 😆
I felt very comfortable as we swam. No fear, no panic, only a deeply relaxing exercise. I say this a lot these days but it really was out of this world. I never used to say that in my old life unless we were in the Maldives or Cuba, somewhere exotic. I love that I can find the beauty in the everyday things.
When we finished our 750m we got out and stripped wetsuits to the waist (swimsuits underneath, don’t panic!) and got back in for a cool down. The pond is a lovely 18/19°C which is much warmer than the sea. We were fully wetsuited up as we knew the swim would take over half an hour and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
I’m reliving the moment looking through all of the photos I managed to get at the end.
What a wonderful way to start the day.
I got ready for work at the side of the pond. (Should say I’d had my shower the night before and hoped that would do me!) and was at work for 7.40am. Can’t wait until I can do that again soon.
It was really hot again today. The office up at 27°C but I’d left the pop top up in Abbie the Campervan so she was much cooler when I left work tonight. Only 33° versus last nights’ 48°!! Will do that again tomorrow.
So in other very exciting news…. The hookers are on the move tonight and we are going down to Portencross for our crochet session!!! I am so excited that I get to back to the beach, and get a lift as Evelyn has kindly offered to drive. Sharing my happy place with the hookers!
Honestly if the sun shone like this in Scotland, we wouldn’t go anywhere else.
I’m sitting out on the rocks at Portencross again and it’s just out of this world. I feel like I just popped over to Greece for the evening! there is actually a heat haze over the sea!
It’s obviously been raining since I left work but I missed all of it. The van was 48.3°C when I got in it at work tonight. I decided in my wisdom to wash it before I left. I was soaking in sweat by the time I’d finished… sorry perspiring… us women perspire don’t we?!
I’ve even dipped my toes in and it’s surprisingly freezing cold. Considering I was in here in a wetsuit last weekend, I really didn’t expect it to feel so cold.
The clouds are just beautiful. We very rarely get an extended period of heat like this.
It was VERY hot at work. 28°C in the office today. I struggle to concentrate… the Scottish Dog Behaviourist is working tonight so I took the chance to head to the sea. The tide is gently coming in so I’ve had to move back a couple of times.
I went to the supermarket in Stevenson and got some salad for my dinner and I ate that with my toes in the water. Honestly I can’t manage more than 10 seconds at a time because of the cold.
I slept like a log last night and couldn’t wake up this morning but I dragged myself out on dog jog. As soon as I was out of bed I actually felt fine. The hardest part is thinking about getting out of it!
It was a beautiful morning again, with stunning clouds and we never met a soul. Just how I like it!
I know I’m writing this as I sit here but it’s fascinating to watch the tide come in. My feet just got soaked again in my new perch and it was a welcome freeze!
In my element.
No worries.
No stress.
No anxiety.
Just focused on the present moment and just being me.
I was sitting here with my toes in what must be less than half an hour ago!
Ellison just phoned about going for a swim at Seamill beach but I don’t have my stuff with me! Such a shame!!
Jeezo man it is hot. 🥵 It’s been 25°C since about 1pm and just hasn’t let up. I was literally stuck to my clothes this afternoon in the metal portacabin! The fan just blowing hot air at me.
I don’t know about anyone else but I can’t deal with the noise of a fan…. I feel such a relief when I switch it off. It must be at a frequency that just irritates me. I can only have it on for so long, blowing it’s hot air around. (Listen to me 🤦🏻♀️😂)
I am trying not to complain but it’s hard not to feel lethargic when we are SO not used to this!! The aircon in my van was amazing!!! I am so grateful for the aircon. It was 43°C inside the van when I left work. 🥵🥵🥵🥵 It was down to 28°C by the time I got home which felt so much cooler than outside. Funny how that works?!? Maybe my sensor is wrong with hindsight 🤦🏻♀️😂
So up and at it today with dog jog before 6am. It would have been so easy to stay in bed but I was determined to start the new week the same as the last.
Took this pic as Calaidh was having a wee shake!
The rhododendrons were stunning. I love that colour. 💜💜💜
I managed to have a shower, make a salad for lunch and a banana and strawberry smoothie AND feed the dogs and tidy the kitchen all before work. It feels amazing being bright and breezy in the morning.
I’m still doing really well on the fasting. I have definitely found the thing that works for me. As with most things I really want to do, I am focussed on it and never let it slide. I really commit to something when I want to.
I feel SO much better for it. I never wake up bloated, my clothes are never tight. I am almost comfortable in my own skin…. But let’s not take it too far. 😂
I’ve been having salad for almost every meal for the last few weeks. Toss everything into a large Tupperware tub, a splash of extra virgin olive oil and some balsamic vinegar and shake! I’m having some lovely meats and cheeses mixed in with it all. I’m not denying myself anything but I am not so hungry anymore either. I love it, it makes me very happy!!
A HUGE cloud has just come over and it’s still roasting but it looks ominous.
The forecast is for thunder just now… and as if on queue. Thunder!! 🌩️⚡️🌩️⚡️ I just wanted to use these emojis.
We’re still sitting out under it but the puppers have gone inside. They were not happy. I’m just loving the cool air!
My fresh clean bed came at a cost last night…. Making the bed up, in a hot bedroom at 1am…. No one wants to do that do they?!?!
It seems there was a spectacular thunderstorm here last night, with torrential rain and we missed it all. There were only a few big spots up at my in-laws last night, about a 45 minute drive away.
It was such a lovely party yesterday. 🥳🎉🎊
Now… if you read the blog…. You will know that, for me, a large gathering of people is among my list of things to be slightly dreaded. Call it a party and I’m 😵💫
And yet, as with all things I think I will dread, I end up having a really lovely time.
Being alcohol free at my in-laws is actually very easy. They have always catered for my non alcoholic choices. After 4 and a half years, I finally feel proud and confident of my choices. I have chosen not to drink because it makes me a better person… I no longer feel jealous of other people who haven’t made that choice. It’s my decision and I’m happy it’s the right one for me.
Kisses from Astrid! Cuddles from Cookie!!
I had a lovely time. I had great chats, felt completely at ease small talking and was so chuffed I got to meet Isobel who often comments on my ramblings and yet I’d never met her. She is definitely my kinda person ♥️
Fast forward to a little woof at 6am this morning!!! 5 hours…. 🥴 I let them out and then we all went back to sleep until 8.30am. That’s more bearable.
So since then I’ve sat in the garden, writing this, I’ve done an Asda food shop for delivery and I’ve tried to fix the battery life on my iPhone…. Having a lovely wee morning to myself in the cloudy sun.
Gayle is picking me up in an hour for a visit to a supplier in Dundee today so I best go and get ready!!!
It turns out we were actually heading to Fowlis which was just outside of Dundee.
We had a lovely wee ROADTRIP and got to see some lovely new stock for Gayle’s shop. Isn’t funny how my phone always screams ROADTRIP in capital letters theses days?!?
It was great to be able to see the new stock for autumn/winter and of course have a wee fashion show!
I wonder if there’s a job for a hat and scarf model going?!? I seem to have the same selfie grin every time 😂 not very versatile.
The stock is all on show in the rep’s front room. It was a beautiful house!! We had tea, coffee and biscuits while we browsed and I helped Gayle to spend her money. 😂
The sun was back out for our drive back. It’s hot again today but it feels very hot for us. Like rain and thunder might not be far away.
The country roads on the way back to the motorway were lovely.
Crossing over the River Tay. All I could think about was the procession when the Queen’s body left Balmoral for the final time and driver over this bridge. Very poignant.
We passed Stirling Castle which looked very splendid on top of its hill.
The only traffic we hit was coming back into Glasgow of course. Caught this plane flying right overhead on approach to Glasgow Airport.
I’ve had the best wee day doing something completely different. I’m back in shorts and vest top, our in the garden with an alcohol free San Miguel which is very lovely. It’s sweaty hot but I’m persevering. The house is a state but, when you live in Scotland. You have to make the most of any minute of sunshine… we never know when the next sun might shine!
Also just realised we only have two weeks of work left before our summer holiday… please, please, please let this sunshine last!!
It’s another beautiful day. There’s still a breeze which, at some points, seemed like a howling gale in the back garden 😂
We were up with a woof at 6.30am, goodness only knows what disturbed them this morning. To be fair, I do love the early mornings so I’m not complaining.
We sat outside right a coffee… DECAF of course 😂😂😂 I am far too quick to take Craig’s suggestion that he’ll ask the dogs. 2 days in a row now that I’ve wanted to go out with them but give up in a heartbeat, as I’m so grateful that I don’t have to.
Think I may be shunned by Calaidh as a result 😂
So I decided instead to walk to work…. That’s how I can explain it to myself but in all honesty, there a another reason….. it’s the Beith Gala day today and I am…. Wait for it… worried that I might not get the van out of the car park as it might be too busy when I leave. Seriously. It’s amazing what I can make up in my own head. So instead let’s pretend it’s all about the exercise. 🥴
To be fair, I did really enjoy the walk. It’s calm and peaceful. I did get stopped by one of our lovely neighbours, to see if I wanted a lift, but I was striding it out and enjoying it. also taking photos… naturally!
It is a beautiful walk and the same again home only this time, more gates AND pretty damn hot! The breeze is suddenly working in my favour!
I stopped by the community garden on the recommendation of one our customers.
Then off up the road!
So many very old gates on this road.
They are all hanging by a thread!
It is scorching hot today. 25°C is about as hot as it gets here. I’m sitting in the garden for a wee while before we get ready to go out to the in-laws for my father in law’s birthday party. I am so hot I may not be able to move.
The dogs won’t leave me alone either so there’s not much sunbathing being do’e!
My life 🐶🐶🐶🎾🎾🎾😂😂
I’m at the party now and just realised I haven’t put this out!!! It’s also been raining….. 😱 Having cake and Nozeco so all good and I’ve met Isobel!
I’m starting the day with gratitude today. It’s another beautiful morning though there is a cool breeze. I’m sitting outside in the garden with jammies on, having my first decaf coffee of the day.
I’m drinking out my lovely Slothy Julie mug and feeling grateful for all the lovely gifts I got for my 50th birthday, this being one from the lovely crochet hookers!
It’s just beautiful out here (could lose the breeze but let’s stick to the gratitude!)
There are no dogs at my feet…. There is no one in our house but me. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is off out walking them this morning. I have really enjoyed our dog jogs but I am equally happy for the morning off to just sit here and just be.
I was the Queen of people pleasers! I went out of my way to make “YOU” happy…. Whoever you were, regardless of how you treated me, if I could make you happier then somehow my life would be at peace. Oh how wrong could I have been. This is what finally broke me…. Tying myself up in knots to please everyone else buy myself.
My head literally screams at me now when I agree to something I don’t want to do. It creates a whirlwind of emotion and angst (oooh what a word before 8am!) I don’t get a minutes peace from it until I say NO.
I do think that it could be perceived as selfish these days, and I get that, but I have to work very hard at preserving my mental health. I have learned over these last 4 and a half years, that I need to listen to myself now. I need to put myself first and do what is best for me.
As awful as that might sound to the person still stuck in the people pleasing loop…. I can honestly say this is one of the things I am most proud of.
Despite everything I have been through, I’m so grateful that I have been given time to learn this lesson. They say that true learning comes from adversity.
So back to today… it’s been beautifully sunny today though it was forecast to be cloudy. Sat here in the back garden at 6pm and it’s windy so cooler than it should be.
The little gift shop was lovely as usual. Always get to chat to so many lovely people. I was lucky enough to get a buttered cinnamon scone from Lindsay that works there through the week and Norma, who works in Harmony next door for me a packet of crisps!! So kind of them both. I had my usual salad for lunch. I’ve been living on salad this week. It’s been great! Long may it continue.
It’s nice to be sitting back outside where I started the day, although this time surrounded by Border Collies 🐶🐶🐶
The dogs have all just made a bee-line for the front door which means that the Scottish Dog Behaviourist just got home from his first day back at work!
She who vowed never to look at the plane tracker ever again… tracked Craig’s plane into landing this morning. 🤦🏻♀️
When I woke up after another dead to the world sleep…. This time fuelled by progesterone as it’s another 2 weeks on…. I checked and he was flying over Santander!
Then it was off out for dog jog! Getting into a bit of a routine with all this these days.
No pulling, no fuss, just out for a walk.
And a bit of a run!
We had a big run about in the field and they were all in munching in the grass.
By the time I got to work this morning, he was coming in to land, just passed over our house!!
I know I am sad but I love this tracker…. Also watch with a huge amount of fear, as you know, as the speed with which it descends is quite terrifying to watch! Can’t stop though.
It was a quick day today and I’m just home from work and Craig has had the day with the pups…. They are really pleased to see him and haven’t left him alone.
There was no one at the door to meet me!!!
He’s already missing the 5 he left behind in Spain.
Just sitting outside in the windy sun for a bit though I do have a sweatshirt on today. Mr Spanish heat is loving the breeze!
It’s been another lovely day after yesterday’s clouds. We didn’t see the sun until about 3.30pm yesterday. When it came out, it was HOT!
Sorry for such a quick blog yesterday, I just ran out of day! I literally never stopped from 5.30am until about 10pm. I was so full of “birthday tea” when I went to bed, that I ended up waking at 4am. My mind started racing, the birds were twittering away and I couldn’t get back to sleep.
I got up and did everything backwards this morning!! I made my lunch, had a shower and then headed out for dog jog?!?! Go figure…. A run after my shower?! 😂 not my smartest move but hey… I’m tired.
Mid jog, I stopped to show you how tall the cow parsley is growing!! Absolutely nothing to do with taking a breather….. 🙊
They had a good run around in the field this morning too.
There’s also lots of these lovely yellow iris’ along the side of the field, so pretty. There’s a lot of them in the wild just now.
I loved this Hawthorne tinged pink!
I can’t tell you how guilty I feel when I head to work and leave these 3 wee faces. They’re used to Craig being here on and off through the day. They get under your feet as you leave, as if to the and trip you up!
Please don’t go mum!!
So the Scottish Dog Behaviourist is actually home tomorrow, finally! It feels like he’s been away for weeks! He’s had a great time, done loads of training and learned loads but think he’s ready to get back to our 3 amigos. He’ll certainly miss the 5 dogs he’s leaving in Spain too.
He’ll be home tomorrow morning just as I get to work, so our lovely friend Lindsay will pick him up and bring him home.
So I’m off to crochet tonight in the pub…. Alcohol free gin and tonic for me! We’ve not met up in ages so I’m looking forward to seeing everyone. It is just the other side of the fence from where I’m sitting just now so not too much of an effort. Guess I should actually take my crochet this week and get back into it, or that blanket will never finish itself!
Slept like a log!! I’ve been up since 5.30 dog jog, supermarket shop before work!!
The sun didn’t come through until at least 3.30pm today…. Shocker!
Now I’m at a 17th birthday party for my next door neighbour! I’ve had such a lovely meal. I’ve eaten more than I’ve eaten all week. it’s 8.30pm so it’s just a quickie! Been jumping back home to let the dogs out. Better get back to them soon!
I was out in the pub last night… on a school night! Our friends Lindsay and Euan walked out from Beith to meet me next door. We had a lovely wee catch up and FaceTimed Craig in Spain!!
I came home and played with the dogs for a bit and got some lovely random photos.
Always love the jumping shots!
This morning started off cloudy. I had an alarm set for 5.30am and was off out with the dogs but had to wear a long sleeved top. I felt pretty tired and grumpy if I’m honest. I get sluggish as I jogged. Not feeling it today.
We saw this big sheep!
Freya alway checking up to make sure I’m still there!
I’ve not been in the best mood today. I don’t quite know where to put myself. I think I’m just tired after being so busy at the weekend. I got through lots at work so that’s always good. The sun came out about 9ish and it’s been really hot today. We’ve had the door wide open all day and even the fan on.
I am LOVING this run of beautiful weather. All the things mulling round in my mind should be irrelevant when I look at that lovely blue sky and just breathe.
I just yawned my head off…. Early night needed I think!
That sun emoji is still right up there at the top. Even above my ♥️ emoji which I use a lot.
I’m sleeping really well these days… there no snoring in our house as he’s away and obviously I don’t snore at all so I’m out for the count! 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😂
I felt a lot of anxiety when I woke this morning. It’s a beautiful day again and I have a sea swim planned at my favourite Portencross beach, today at 11am.
Now that sounds to me like the perfect day… and spoiler alert… it absolutely was… just the best…. But oh my god I make some amount of fuss in my head before I go!!!
There’s the dogs to be walked… and I like to do that before everyone is up… so I better get moving…
We went a different way today. They were so excited as they know they get off at the top of the hill so they pulled me all the way up. I stressed about that.
Then Freya needed a wee rest!
There are loads of buttercups up here.
Look how clear the sky is. You can see all the way over to the Isle of Arran.
A gate specifically for The Windsor Waffle my blogger friend. Just so she knows I’m still looking for gates 😂
Sooo many buttercups!!
I still had ages to get ready to head to the beach. I was stressed about remembering everything I needed to take (which was all safely stored in one place, I might add..) and of course I needed to be there an hour early so I could get parked. my driving and parking anxiety has been quite bad this weekend.
We’ve had a big event on in the Village Hall this weekend and I seem to be petrified of not getting parked when I come home. My whole weekend has been jigged around this event, which is, quite frankly, ridiculous!!
Anyway… I get there for about 10am and this is what greets me. Portencross is the best I have seen it this year.
The water is so still, so calm and peaceful. I could sit here for hours.
It’s just a shame a big group of age 60+ seem to have moved in to the picnic area and even at that time, have music blaring on a loud speaker. They are all chatting over it. Sitting under a large gazebo, none of them in the sun and they’ve brought an actual karaoke machine. I mean, really?!? Who does that. No care for anyone else sitting nearby them. Not sure why they hadn’t just stayed at home.
Down on the rocks and thankfully their tunes don’t travel.
I sat and watched this wee family of ducks float past! The wee one at the back was paddling like crazy to keep up. I was so lovely to watch.
I go swimming with Ellison from Tartan Campers and her sister Eileen who has been doing it for years so knows her stuff! We also met Chantal and Lesley today (they are really good swimmers so they were off for a good two kilometre swim).
Eileen is really good at taking photos but had left her phone pouch at home. I gave her mine. No point in me faffing with my phone and getting nothing! Also allowed me to relax and enjoy it without taking photos all the time.
We swam out the little stony beach at the side of Portencross Castle.
We literally walked in here and swam away!
Don’t be fooled into thinking I was swimming with a spaceman!! Ellison is wearing her snorkel mask which covers her full face and allows you to breath through your nose and mouth while snorkelling.
Eileen obviously took all of these photos. It just felt like such a special day. I’ve always wanted to swim there. I was petrified of jellyfish and saw none. I preferred not to look but once I borrowed Ellison’s snorkel I saw that it was amazing to swim under water.
I could have lay about in the water by the side of the castle all day!
It’s lovely to come out of the sea into the heat but you’re still exceptionally cold. The heat helps you to warm up a bit faster but you still have the shivers.
We sat and had a lovely lunch looking out to sea, I took a salad with me, I was ravenous by then!
Then to top it all off, Ellison and I took a wander back round to the castle and went inside. I’ve always wanted to do that! The views from the top are incredible.
This next picture shows the bit we swam in. It was amazing to see it from above.
Yet another day spent with people who are very good for my soul!
The whole reason I write this blog is to show people that I might look like I do lots of amazing things at times but I do feel a lot of anxiety around it. It doesn’t always come easily to me. It would have been so easy to stay home today and look what I would have missed.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Off to meet friends in the pub tonight about half 6… it’s been all go but a great weekend!
Lots of calls with Craig during the day today catching up on his dog training too! All good over there!
Wow you know you’re having good weather if the sun emoji is at the top of your emojis. Right next to the Scotland flag!
I’ve had the best wee day to myself so far!
To be fair it started at 2am with a bark…. To wake up to this.
The moon was so bright that the room was light…. We don’t have curtains so wear eye masks but once I was up it was just really beautiful. Made me a bit less angry at the dogs. I let them out and we all went back to bed… until 6.15am when another one barked… or quite possibly the same one so it was off out for this mornings dog jog.
I didn’t take a lot of photos this morning as it’s just as beautiful as every other day this week.
It was a lovely walk. Back home for a peppermint tea in the garden before I got showered to head out.
I walked to the little gift shop this morning. It was such a lovely day and the village hall has a big event on with about 20 visitors expected. The downside to roadside living is that you can come back and never get a parking space!
Also getting my steps up!
It already feels really warm but I have to have warm clothes for the shop as it’s always really cool.
I had the best morning. It was heaving!!! So busy but I still got lots of lovely chats with customers. Doing what I love the most. Chatting to people, making them smile and having some banter.
The morning passed so fast. I didn’t get a chance even for a coffee, let alone the lovely salad I’d taken with me. I of course had to walk home in 22°C heat which is very hot for us Scots… wearing jeans and trainers, carrying my sweatshirt and body warmer!!
It is just a scorcher of a day. It’s hot and I am…. Wait for it…. Outside in my garden in a bikini for the first time in a VERY VERY VERY long time.
I am lying like a coiled spring, waiting on someone to walk into the garden so I can wrap myself in a towel but I’m in a bikini and not horrifically horrified by what I see.
The dogs just want to be with me so I’ve moved next to some shade so they are not to hot but able to still be close to me. Our artificial grass gets very hot in this weather!!
This is the life.
Gayle and I are going to Largs for a chippy tea later and I’m so looking forward to it!
Here we are!!
We’ve come to The Fish Works in Largs!
It is stunning here and we are having such a lovely time! I’m off to enjoy it!
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 