Healing mental health during COVID-19 times and beyond
Author: Julie
I’m healing from anxiety and depression and exploring my way through a whole new lovely world with an abundance of awareness and a new love for life… and travelling the world!
The forecast was for rain in and off all day today….. it’s been lovely and warm, so sunny and Ellison and I got a seat out at lunchtime again, which is always lovely. It breaks up the day and it’s especially nice after all the rain we’ve been having.
The forecasts seem all over the place these days.
I’m shattered today. I’m sitting outside in the garden and it’s 5.15pm and the sun is hot. There’s a strong wind but it’s not cold.
And relax.
I’m yawning my head off…. 🥱🥱🥱
It’s been a really busy day today. I didn’t get anything done in any order. There was no control today, no process, I just had to jump from thing to thing and try and write notes so that by a Monday, I have half a clue about what has happened. I had tears before 8.30am over something that was really nothing…. When I write it down it sound so ridiculous, so pathetic…. We keep getting the wrong windows delivered and last night it happened again. It’s not my fault but I feel wholly responsible. I don’t know why I take these things so personally. Even when I find out what happened and how it happened, I still feel to blame and that I should have done something differently. I hate letting other people down.
When does this self flagellation ever end?!? (I have a wry smile when I say that’s flagellation and not flatulation…trying to make light of the situation…)
Anyhow, the rest of the day was much better, just busy. We’ve ordered a Chinese for dinner as I have no energy for cooking. I think I need to get up and at it with a dog jog tomorrow. This lethargy needs nipped in the bud. tonight I need to rest…. A lazy evening with a takeaway and a movie sounds like just the ticket.
It’s funny how some days this all just flows on past like it doesn’t matter and other days I choose to wallow in it. The voice in my head, tells me I’m not good enough, that’ll teach me for having such a great start to the week…. And then I beat myself for my overreaction and so it goes on.
So I’m just gonna sit back and chill and enjoy the lovely evening.
I’m back in The little gift shop tomorrow so that will be lovely and I have my big adventure on the Paddle Steamer Waverley on Sunday which I’m super excited about!! The weather looks promising which will just be amazing.
I have everything crossed. 🚢🚢
The clouds are really wispy but it’s just so lovely to see the 💙 sky! This is my view just now!
So much to be grateful for! Hope Craig thinks that after an evening with me 🥱😂😘
Talking to mum on the way home tonight and I told her that writing this blog is a form of meditation for me. It allows me to review my day and assess my feelings and emotions…. And boy have I been angry today. Like lighting the blue touch paper all the time.
My ego has been a pain in the ass today. It feels so hard done to for no reason and kicks off every time something doesn’t go my planned way.
Life can’t always be straightforward, it can’t always be planned. I need to be able to adapt but I seem, sorry my ego seems, to find this so hard to do sometimes.
I try to have everything planned to the nth degree. I have to do this to keep my anxiety in check, it’s the way I work. I struggle feeling out of control. It blows up like a volcano that way over exaggerates the actual thing. I either need to be in control of it all or none of it. I need to find away to be in control of some things at some times and other things at other times and not being sure what things when. 😂
I have to be honest and say I’m actually laughing at that now. Honestly I can be a complex soul at times.
I walked in to a bike rack on the back door of a van today. I was walking round the back of the van when the door was open and the bike rack sticks out…. I followed boss man but didn’t obviously take as wide a berth as he did. He heard the whack and came running!! I was actually really lucky that it hit square across my forehead and not my glasses or the top of my head. I only have a very slight dent that wasn’t there earlier!
It knocked a bit of sense into me!!
So I’m just back from crochet and we had a good blether tonight. Births, marriages and despatches!!
We took a wee walk to a new meadow garden that’s been planted at the end of the village…. It’s so lovely and EXACTLY the look I was going for with my meadow garden last year. Mine did not work AT ALL!!
So pretty!! Thanks to Rachel two doors down for the good shout. She spotted it walking the dog this morning.
So yeah, not that proud of my reactions today, just another learning curve. The joys 😂😘
I didn’t sleep that well last night. I was awake for a full hour from about 1.15…. just wide awake listening to some insane noise I’m my head. I’m not sure what it was… what caused it. but it was like a caffeine boost. My heart was thumping so loudly I could hear it in my head. I assumed the gentle roar of snore next to me, had wakened me but I honestly think it was all my own doing. I felt really shattered when I got up.
As I know fine well, life is what you make it so I sat and had a lovely caffeine black coffee with Craig before getting ready for work. Yup… the irony is not lost on me. 🙄
Some of his birthday gifts were coffee based. We now have beans and a grinder… Auntie Jac will be awfy impressed… she’s the snobbiest coffee buff I know 😂😘 this stuff is pretty good but considering I probably usually drink the coffee from the coffee factory floor…. It’s easy to be impressed.
Work was good but I wasn’t quite as fancy free as yesterday. The voice was back and fighting with the calm head. Not badly, just enough not to be sitting here smugly tonight.
I know what is wrong…. I’m all ready to sell the van, was so excited, raring to go, then stalled. Let’s think this through….
I just need to pluck up the courage… face all my anxiety and fears and put Abbie the Campervan actually up for sale…. And sell it.
Being a people pleaser, the transaction between seller and buyer of a vehicle is a wary one and therefore, not my favourite. I win people over with my honesty and personality and not everyone buying a car (or van) from you, will respond to this. I feel their approach is to try and catch you out, to highlight the things you’re not saying. That makes me very nervous, so much so, I’d happily let anyone sell her to save me doing it.
I know that this is just the next uncomfortable learning curve that I need to hop on. I know that it will probably be fine and that I will probably do a great job. All that said I’d rather just put it off and get into my comfies and hide. 🤭🙄
So I’m just going to do it.
I don’t have to sell her to someone who thinks she’s overpriced.
I don’t have to sell her to someone who picks holes in her or tells me everything that’s wrong.
If the worst comes to the worst and something goes wrong with her during the sale, I can get her fixed and resell.
Nothing is insurmountable.
I just have to pull up my big girl pants, step RIGHT OUT of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Dramatic eh?! You’d expect nothing less.
In other news, Facebook actually phoned me yesterday… can’t believe I forgot to share this revelation. Almost 3 weeks after the review that would take 24-48 hours…. It would appear my case was not a simple one.
The fake profiles on my account have been removed.
I’ve not been hacked in 3 weeks. My timezone still doesn’t feel right. I can open links on FB marketplace as it may not be accessible “in my country” hmmmm maybe not if you still think I’m in Western Indonesia!! They say I show as London, which would cover the whole of the UK but I’m still not certain.
I think I clicked a link that asks me to confirm all my logins… and effectively gave the hackers my login details. Life is just one long learning curve.
Won’t do that again!!
Ok enough hiding behind the blog… I’m off to write the advert. 🫣
It has not stopped raining all day. I was up by 6 and into Tartan for 7am, to wash Abbie the Campervan, as people were coming to view her today.
I wore old clothes and took my work clothes with me and even a hair dryer! I needed it all. I was soaked through by the time I’d finished. A customer came in to drop off a van about 7.30am and I looked like a drowned rat 😂
Anyway, sadly it was not meant to be. I have a very clean van for no reason as they decided to buy something else over the weekend.
After the initial disappointment at getting out of bed so early and getting soaked, I wasn’t even that upset as these things happen. No amount of being upset or annoyed makes any difference… and yes I hear myself! Who actually am I?!
There have been a few things today that would normally really stress me out or set some rocket off, inside my head. I’m so pleased when I can let things go that would usually be a trigger. I accepted the situations for exactly what they were and got on with with was needed. I really felt the difference today. (I should say that none of these things are a big deal and all SHOULD be totally let go anyway.)
When you suffer from anxiety and serious overthinking, it’s an amazing feeling when that critical voice is quiet. That voice would have had a field day today. I know everything it would say and even when I try to hear it, I sit here smiling knowing that none of it is true and none of it is means anything. I hope that makes sense.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is still out at work so I have the remote to myself and I’m catching up on Sweet Magnolias…. My lovely friend Cheryl-Lynn posted on FB about it, I didn’t realise there was a third series yet! It’s such a sweet show… it wouldn’t be Craig’s cup of tea…. At all. 😂
I’ll leave you with some photos of Abbie the Campervan. FOR SALE!!
It’s the cleanest she’s been since I first bought her from exactly that same spot outside Tartan Campers!
Oh my god I love a clean and organised house. I love, love, love, love it!!!
Really love it!! 🥰
Ok so you get the picture!
Craig has been on it too and we have really gutted the place. I wouldn’t say we have thrown much out, to be honest, but we have moved some things around the rooms. My Gran always said a change is as good as a rest.
I changed and dried the bedding today. Despite the torrential rain this morning, it dries up and was a windy day. It dried really quickly.
I’ve got a few camping bits and pieces to put up for sale. I’ll get to that one day.
I cleaned all the windows in the van. I cleaned the window in the dogs room and outside it where the white plastic had for all green and mouldy. I spent a half hour hanging out out upstairs window.
I was on a roll.
I’ve had a shower and washed my hair ready for clean bed.
I’ve made my lunch for work tomorrow.
I’ve made roast chicken dinner with a lovely dessert… pancakes with clotted cream and (wonky) strawberries, drizzled with warm Biscoff spread and Nutella. Dessert was amazing!!
I’m ready to sell Abbie the Campervan. Her paperwork is all in row. I’ve listed her unique selling points ready for an advert if we have to do one. There’s a couple coming to see her tomorrow. I hope they love her!! I hope she looks clean enough!
There are a lot of exclamation marks in this blog today… ooh forgot I even went to Claire’s for a Turkish Apple Tea which was very lovely.
I’ve had a lovely weekend!
I even have some lovely photos of our huge Hydrangea..
This next one really hit home for me. “If we keep them happy, they won’t turn on us”
I lived my every waking moment by this mantra…. That eventually broke me.
I am so grateful that it did, which seems really crazy to say but otherwise I don’t think I would ever have achieved this level of peace in my life.
It’s 4pm and I am shattered. I’ve only just sat down and there is so much more still to do. I’ll go back to work for a rest on Monday, I reckon!
We were up at 7.30 and after a decaf coffee, I decided to go for a food shopping. £129 later…. And that’s in Aldi!?!??
My friend Jane posted on FB that she usually goes to Aldi, so is poised like a ninja, to package everything, with the speed in which they put it through the till. 😂 She went to a different supermarket today, so was ahead of the cashier and was proud of herself…. 😂 I laughed out loud at that!
I, on the other hand, reckon she’d put about £50 worth of food through before I’d even turned the trolley at the end of the hill. They are SO fast!!!
(My grammar was not the best in those last few paras, hope you get the gist! 😂)
I took Craig’s car so drove like Miss Daisy there and back. I remember the days I used to jump in any car and drive it like it was an extension of me. Not so much now.
Anyway, by the time I got home, Craig had emptied the dogs room and hoovered and washed the floor. It so badly needed doing. The room was FULL of camping gear. We have way more camping gear than you need, especially for the amount of camping we actually do. You need things for every eventuality and we’ve bought it all over the years. I do feel we just move it all around the house. Well this time it’s all going back into the shed now that Craig has lined and insulated it.
We’ve earmarked a whole bunch to sell and some clothes to charity as well.
The washing machine has been heaving all day, with all the hairy dog blankets. 🤦🏻♀️ I’ve hoovered the stairs and hallway again. I then started going through everything that came out of Abbie the Campervan to try and figure out what to do with that.
I don’t work well with clutter. I need nice, tidy organisation. The mess messes with my head.
So, nothing very exciting to blog about at the moment but the main thing is that my head is good. We’d been invited to a lovely party this weekend but I had to decline as I needed this weekend to decompress and get lots done as I am busy most of next weekend. I would never have done this before. I don’t want to let anyone down but I know what I need to keep everything in check.
I just took a walk up the hills with the dogs. Got caught in the rain.
There’s a new road across the field… great to walk through and not get wet feet 😂
Another Friday off and another list of things ticked. I’m really enjoying super productive Fridays!!
I didn’t feel great when I woke up this morning…. Sore throat and headache. I got up to the loo and cooried back down into bed…. Thinking I could just lie there all day.
I knew I had loads to do and loads I really wanted to get done.
I got my running stuff on and took the dogs out for dog jog, first time since last weekend. I felt rotten to start, I had a shooting pain up my leg almost willing me not to jog. Yet I started to run and managed a fair bit of the way. I get so much better for it. I felt spurred on for the rest of the day!
I know that I’ve been feeling lethargic due to very little exercise. Despite fasting and breaking my fasts with lovely salads, I have eaten a fair bit of rubbish in between. It’s the first time in about 6 months that I’ve actually felt a bit bloated. Seems a tad unfair after a 19 hour and 45 minute fast today. 🤦🏻♀️😂😘 but hey it’s just a bloat day. If there is such a thing 🤷🏻♀️😂
So I have been like a wummin possessed today.
I have emptied Abbie the Campervan… seven huge bags full of stuff! Bet that wasn’t great for fuel economy?!
Also cleaned everything apart from washing the outside. I scrubbed, hoovered, dusted and polished and she’s probably cleaner than she’s ever been… and definitely emptier.
That took me until about lunchtime when I moved into the house and started hoovering, dusting and polishing inside.
I washed and dried all the blankets from the couches in the living room. It’s actually been a beautiful day today, unexpectedly.
I’m sitting outside in shorts writing this at 5pm. I’m shattered.
When Craig came home from work he brought in a parcel that arrived for him, started to unwrap it. I told him he’d better tell me how lovely the house looked pretty damn sharpish. 😂 it’s the first time we’ve seen the dining table this week since he unceremoniously dumped his wedding outfit on it last Saturday night!!! He said, of course he’d noticed…. Hmmm I’m not so sure!!
Check his wee face as he’s bought a new toy and didn’t tell me. “Hi julesie….” Big grin.
Anyway he took me out to The Canny Man for lunch which is just 5 minutes down the road. It was worth him feeling guilty to get me a late lunch out.
He had haggis balls in a peppercorn sauce to start.
With both had Salt and Chilli Chicken Burger for mains.
And I had a Caramel and Chocolate Sundae for dessert!
I enjoyed it despite my itchy nose!!
I am so tempted to go for a nap now but the sun feels lovely on my skin. What a beautiful day it turned out to be.
Oh well, what little peace I have is being interrupted…. Seems it might be puppy dinner time… feed me she says!!
I had a really broken sleep last night thinking about selling Abbie the camper van…. Loads of chatter running round in my head as I “slept”. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve not done an early morning dog jog all week, I’ve been shattered in the morning s and was again today. I think the less you exercise, the more lethargic you get. I’ll need to get out a run tomorrow.
I had a great morning at work. I got loads of work done, I had some music playing and I plodded my way through my spreadsheets getting all of my ducks in a row…. Again. How long can this continue?!? 😂
I love it when I feel in control. I have no fear of mistakes, because mistakes happen and I know I can fix them. It’s such a difference from the fear ridden way I normally am!
I came home from work today and went through all the van paperwork to pull the full service history together. I’ve written a list of everything that needs doing and I’ll work through it this weekend.
I went out and emptied one side of the van. It’s amazing the weight of the stuff I am driving around every day!
I’m shattered now. It’s 8pm and I could just sleep. It’s my weekend now as I have three days off and I’m looking forward to them. I love getting things done on my days off. How times have changed!
I love this next one that my friend Isy, shared on FB today.
Another completely switched on and focussed day today. I’m in control and things are going well. Actually I really feel like things are going incredibly well just now. My ducks are in a row (for now!) and I did just type my dicks are in a row just now, so let that be a lesson 🤦🏻♀️😂😘
I have decided to sell my van and someone is coming to see it on Monday!!
I’ve thought it all through and while very sad, I know this is right for me and is the next part of my journey in life. Boss man has very kindly agreed to sell it from the yard at work and he’s on it!!! I’m so appreciative of that as I am very anxious about the sale process.
I need to decide what’s next for me….
Sorry it’s a quickie but I’ve been looking at cars and also been to crochet with Evelyn and Jane as Lesley and Anne are both on holiday. I never even took my crochet with me! I need to get back to finishing my blanket soon. It’s been going on for way too long. 🧶🧶🧶
It’s only 8.34pm and I’m heading to bed with a good book that Evelyn just lent me. 📖♥️
I had the best sleep last night. A real, dead to the world, out for the count kind of sleep and woke up feeling really refreshed.
I’ve had a great day and felt really clear headed and got some really good tasks done at work.
I have to say that my head has been in a great place today. I found a couple of mistakes in something I’d done, and instead of completely panicking about the mistake and berating myself for making it, I fixed the error and moved on.
That simple.
That doesn’t often happen to me. Normally I’d flay myself the whole day for making such a daft mistake. Worthless, useless blah, blah, not so today. Which is lovely. Being kind to myself for a change.
Long may that continue.
So todays musings…. As there’s always something going on behind the scenes…. I am toying with the idea of selling Abbie the Campervan. 😱
There. I said it out loud. Well, technically I wrote it down, obviously.
The hard part is that a campervan has always been my dream. In my old job, I always used to want one and even used to say how cool it would be to work for Tartan Campers!!! My dream actually came true.
I’ve been on so many lovely trips, both with Craig and the dogs and many on my own. Made so many memories. Explored so many places and taken so many lovely photos.
The reality is that these days I feel like I’m just adding mileage to a campervan by driving her too and from work. I feel like I’ve tried it, done it and now want to explore further afield which I feel can’t do in the van. I don’t know if it’s like a busman’s holiday because I now work in the industry?!
BUT….
I am scared to actually put her up for sale as she’s my baby!!!!!!
It’s a tough one. My gut says it’s the right thing to do but my head keeps arguing. Story of my life really. 😂
Awwww look at her….. hmmm I have a lot of thinking to do. If I sell her I’m giving up on my dream and that’s very hard thing to admit to anyone…. Let alone myself.
I’ve come home after work and really just want to sleep! I think this could be an overstimulation from the weekend 😂😂😂Speaking to SO many people!
I’m sitting with my feet up now and my eyes are half shut.
Work was really good today but I almost had the giggles that I couldn’t seem to string a brain thought together. I’d go to copy one thing from a spreadsheet into another and by the time I got there, one click, I couldn’t remember what I was copying. 🤦🏻♀️😂 As usual I was pulled from pillar to post and couldn’t remember what I was doing at all, so kept chopping and changing. I’m still grinning at how daft it was, which to be honest, is the best reaction to it. Just one of those cloudy head days!!
Rachel, two doors down, posted a couple of lovely wedding photos on FB which I’m pinching!
I got a mention in The Windsor Waffle blog last night!!
Famous!!! What a beautiful gate reflection. 😍
So in other news Gayle and I booked a holiday last night!! We are off to Turkey at the end of September. 🏴✈️🇹🇷
I’ve been looking for a sunshine holiday for weeks now. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist is too busy to take a full weeks’ holiday for the rest of this year and I was considering going away on my own. I’ve looked at so many places and happened to message Gayle to ask where she’s stayed in Fuerteventura, as I quite fancied that.
As soon as she heard I was thinking of going by myself she said that she could come with me. Result! Fast forward a few weeks and we have settled on Turkey. I had such a lovely holiday with Auntie Jac a few years ago and Craig doesn’t fancy Turkey so it’s a winner!!
Not that I am counting!!
Before that I have my day trip on the Waverley down to Ailsa Craig on Sunday 6th August.
Here’s a photo from the last time I sailed on her, in October last year.
Then I’m off down to Devon for a weekend to visit my friend Helen. It a lovely to have things to look forward to!
We finally got home around 1.20am yesterday and straight to bed. It’s 13.55 and I’ve done nothing except sleep and edit some photos to send to Elly.
What an amazing wedding!!! Elly had planned it to a T and the entertainment at dinner was just outstanding. 😋
There was a guy playing the piano all through the day and by the main course, we were all singing along to his well known tunes. It was lovely to hear one table start to sing and others quietly join in… as the meal went on, the singing got louder and it was just a lovely atmosphere.
Then all of a sudden a “waiter” drops a tray of cutlery… (just as dessert is being served!) pics up a mic and starts singing opera, as he walked around the room. The atmosphere was electric. Then a second “waiter” joins in with some more recent hits and they ended with Nessun Dorma and my skin is in goosebumps even now, writing about it.
It was just spectacular!!! Unlike anything I’ve ever seen before and it was truly one of the best weddings I’ve ever been too.
The food was exceptional too. I had Goats Cheese Tart to start, with a chicken and haggis in a cream sauce for mains and Sticky Toffee pudding with white chocolate profiteroles for dessert. It was expertly served and piping hot.
There was the best sweetie table at night which was literally the gift that kept on giving!
If you read yesterday’s blog you would have realised what an amazing day it was! But…. Never start a sentence with but…. in true Julie fashion there was an undercurrent of unrest. 😬
I didn’t feel anywhere near as comfortable as I may have looked.
First things first.
I wasn’t 100% in my £26 outfit from top to toe. I’d been so proud of that in the run up. Less so, on the day. Everyone looked so stunning, they’d either had makeup or hair done, I just felt a bit “hame-knitted” as my Grandad used to say… roughly translating as a bit thrown together. Now… I’m not saying this so you tell me how lovely I looked… it’s not about what anyone says, this is about how I feel and how I make sense of it. 😬
Secondly, it is my choice to be sober… if you want to call it that. I don’t like the person that I become when I drank alcohol. My relationship with Craig is way better with me off the booze. My life is calmer, more predictable, easier.
That does not mean that it’s easy.
It’s bloody hard at times and that was my first sober full day wedding. I’ve learned to get through social occasions with 0% alcohol free drinks because it makes me feel the same as everyone else, for some reason. Go figure.
As I write that I think for gods sake, stop being such a child…. but there’s a huge market of 0% drinks out there and I just thought there would be more choice. Was I jealous of everyone else drinking… maybe? Did I feel left out… well, yes… my choice but still tough.
I was offered Heineken 0% beer or Seedlip and I didn’t want either of them. I didn’t want to stand with a beer as I’ve never been fan of beer….. I did take a Seedlip but it’s not my favourite. 😬
I reckon that I’ve always felt a little awkward in big social situations. You wouldn’t think that if you’ve been with me (well except for yesterday maybe 😂😂😂) I think drink used to help me feel more confident. For some reason 0.% fizz, wine or gin gives me that same confidence. Ridiculous really.
I know I over chatted on this. I know I kept going on about it. When you struggle to make conversation, you go to the easiest thing. 🤷🏻♀️ I do anyway. I know it was not what anyone wanted to hear. I think it’s fair to say if you do still drink, you don’t really understand what the fuss is about 0%.
I went to reception to ask if they could get me anything else. Yup, I was that person… Offered to pay for full bottles and corkage if need be. The bar manager was lovely and got on the case.
I’ve written about this in the alcohol free FB group that I am joint admin for. A good few of the members agree that they’ve felt the same in similar situations. Getting on a “high horse” about the lack of options. We feel hard done to as a group. It’s still not socially acceptable to be a non drinker at a drinking function. The assumption by bar staff that Coke and Irn Bru are non alcoholic drinks.
I feel VERY uncomfortable writing about this but my head needs to let it out. I cannot tell you enough how wonderful the wedding was. ♥️ This is so just going on in my head and unfortunately, for the few who had to listen, spilling out my mouth.
By dinner I had settled into my Appletiser which they very kindly put on the table for me.
By the evening reception I had 0% Rosé and all was well with the world.
Learnings from this. Lower your expectations and assume it will be soda and lime, Appletiser or other fizzy drinks and anything more than that is a bonus.
Stop alienating folk who drink by going on about it.
Most of all be damn proud that despite it all, I didn’t just drink to fit in. I sober danced my heart out and night and for anyone who’s done it, you’ll know that you really have to think to sober dance! The vibe does not just flow naturally. I danced my socks off and had the best time doing it. I’m also so very grateful I have the best dancing husband. He never sits down when I want him to dance. He heard me yesterday. He gets it and he said it was ok. We have our ups and downs but his support yesterday means a lot.
Now as I sit here I wonder whether to put this out or not. Sometimes the worst vulnerabilities show others that life is not just all about the lovely smiling photos. Why do I feel so compelled to put myself out there like that?!?!
We’ve just had a lovely visit from our friend Lindsay and it’s half 3 already. I’m out the back in shorts and T-shirt and having a chill out. I’m just going to read this one more time and go for it. Warts and all…. Edit: there are no warts 🤦🏻♀️😂😘
I have been ticking boxes all day and I bloody love it. ✅✅✅✅✅✅
It’s just been one of those rare days where you catch up on things you have been meaning to do for months…. And it feels so good!!!
We ended up having a Chinese takeaway last night for dinner, after a couple of drinks in the pub next door. Think Craig had a lovely birthday. I was late in bed but slept like a log again. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist still had his alarm set for 5am!!! I did manage to snooze until after 7 but decided to get up and get on with the day.
It’s a beautiful sunny day. (As an aside, I feel like beautiful, amazing and lovely are three of my most used words these days…. How different from years gone by and a nice thing to be able to say).
I got ready and took the dogs straight out for a dog jog.
These giant daisies were amazing.
The sky is so blue and it’s quite warm already. The forecast was to break by midday but it really only clouded over about 4pm.
Another million thistle pictures and this one was by far the best.
Once I got back I started selling clothes on Vinted again. I put up 13 items of clothing but it took me all morning and into early afternoon between making phone calls etc.
I also booked a dentist appointment. Been meaning to do it for ages.
I called a company about looking at the rust on my van. I went out and took photos to send to them. Been meaning to do it for ages.
I called the Paddle Steamer Waverley excursion line and booked myself onto a cruise on Sunday 6th August. It leaves Glasgow Science Centre at 9.30am and heads for Largs, Ayr, Girvan, round Ailsa Craig and back to Girvan and then Ayr, where a bus will take me back to Glasgow Science Centre. A long day but I am SUPER excited!!!!! Been meaning to book another cruise for ages.
I called a company who fix doors and windows to see about getting a quote for some repairs. Have thought we should do it for ages but a door got a bit stuck today so that spurred me on!
I went to get my toenails and eyebrows done before the wedding we have tomorrow.
I tidied up the house and put everything back in it’s place. Been meaning to do that all week.
I was out in the sunshine all day as I did my Vinted selling.
I also managed a 20 hour fast without even realising it.
It’s 5.15pm and I could just shut my eyes and have a nap.
So yeah we have Elly and Scott’s wedding tomorrow so I’ve also been getting organised for that too.
Maybe a short or no blog tomorrow as there won’t be any time but I will try get a photo out, at least!
Also should say, 1200 days of the blog eh?!? Who’d s thunk it?!
What is it with me and numbers?!? I’m back to being excited about a big blog number tomorrow…. Day 2000 does not come after 1199 but my head goes there all the time 😂
It’s these wee things that make me smile on a regular basis!
I’m shattered today. The Scottish Dog Behaviourist thought it would be a good idea to get up at 5am on his birthday?!? I tried so hard to go back to sleep but work just kept on flowing through my head. When Criagie’s awake everyone’s awake!!
To be fair to him, he had walked the dogs before I even got out of bed!! I felt tired and grumpy and have been a bit crotchety all day! I’m shattered!!
We had a lovely wee birthday evening last night when Craig opened all his pressies. We had a lovely dinner too.
He’s had a great day and seems to have done loads. He wasn’t working but had to make enquiry calls as usual so he never gets away from it fully.
So nothing planned for tonight and he’s out working on the back of his car at the moment so I will leave him to it. (With a celebratory birthday beer of course).
I’ll leave you with a few pictures of the changing hairstyles of Mr A over the years!!
It’s been lovely looking back over the photos I’ve the years.
I can’t believe how fast this week has been?! I’m so busy at work I just keep jumping from one thing to the next and never getting back to the thing I started. 😬
It’s good to be busy but 4pm comes and I can’t leave…. It takes me till 4.30 to finish up and even then, I think of so much that I haven’t done. I’m not even getting a chance to check my lists as they’re fairly inconclusive anyway!
It’s Craig’s birthday tomorrow so I have got all his pressies together and we’re going to have a birthday night tonight so he can play with all his new “toys” on his day off tomorrow! 😂 yup I hear myself…. 😂
I’m going to cook up lots of lovely nibbles I got on my extortionate food shop yesterday for him coming home from work tonight.
So yeah not much else from me today. It was lovely and sunny again but I didn’t see much of it. Least I get to wear my shorts to work!
Crazy work day again today. I didn’t sleep well again last night, either. I was asleep but dreaming really heavily. Dreamt I had to move into a flat and it was a room at the top of a high set of stairs and I had to climb over sleeping people to get up to it. I didn’t like it. 😂
I went straight for a food shopping after work tonight and spent £169!!!!! How is that even possible. I only had 3 big shopping bags of food. I did buy some lovely things as it’s Craig’s birthday this week, and I didn’t pick the cheapest of everything, but I never saw that coming. Before the Tesco Clubcard price reduction it was £193!!! For a weekly shop for two people?!?!? Horrifying…. 🤯
I had about 10 minutes turnaround when I got home as I was heading out to Largs with Gayle again.
I’d checked the forecast today and saw that it brightened up tonight. It was a lovely wee trip!
As we headed around the corner towards the ferry terminal I suddenly spotted the red funnels or the Paddle Steamer Waverley!!!
The tide was going out and because it’s moored at the back of the pier then I couldn’t get a decent photo!
The Loch Riddon heads over to Cumbrae.
We sat and had an ice cream sitting watching the calm tide recede…. While we talked the hind legs off a donkey!!
When two become one… the Loch Riddon with the Waverley in the background!
Hiding!!!
Some sea kayakers were out checking out the Waverley.
Loved these 3 yachts spaced out.
The kayakers heading home, as we’re we.
My photos got a bit mixed up and I’m too tired to move these next ones up to the top… Julie half a job. It’s 9.38 and I need my bed after all that sea air!!
I didn’t feel like I slept well last night… I felt like I was alert all night and yet I wasn’t. I just didn’t feel refreshed when I woke up. One of those nights. The two alcohol free beers I had at 6pm seemed to fight with the progesterone. The progesterone won, keeping me asleep but the caffeine jittered away underneath.
We were SO busy at work today! The phone never stopped ringing, people were queuing up to speak to us and customers were in for vehicle handovers at the same time!
It was 4pm before I knew it!!
As I was driving home, I knew I should stop at the supermarket but I was shattered. I really couldn’t be bothered and in my head was frantically scrambling to think what we could have for dinner…. I was literally chattering away to myself all the way up the road. I phoned Craig… No answer.
He phoned back and said, sorry I couldn’t answer, I was in the chip shop getting us a chippy tea!!! My hero!!
We had really lovely fish and chips from the shop in Stewarton. It’s the most I’ve eaten in a while but it was so good, really meaty fish and just what the doctor ordered!
After dinner I took the dogs up the hill to work off some of my fish and chips!
It’s turned into a lovely evening…. Spot the puppers!
I love the tracks in the grass, mine are pretty straight and Calaidh’s are meandering next to mine.
Freya is shattered at the back!
Thistles!!
The hedgerows looking particularly beautiful just now.
The newly tarmac’d road!
The colours are so blue and green!
On the new road home.
I got back and did a poo pick in the garden, emptied and refilled the dishwasher and burned all the cardboard in the fire. I’m trying to do more in the evenings rather than just doing nothing. It’s worked so far. Feet up now.
I didn’t get to bed until 11.30pm last night. We had a lovely wee evening in the pub for Elly’s hen.
Elly’s home Hen doThe Gateside Gang
Everyone was so colourful!!
The dogs woke me just before 7 and I had a nice lazy morning. I was meeting Claire at 10.50 as she was taking me out for breakfast to Auchengree Farm Shop.
We had a lovely catch up and a lovely breakfast. I had a black pudding roll with a potato scone AND a piece of millionaires shortbread! Very kind of her. 💜💜
Got photos of this big guy outside on the way back to the car.
I wore my new black combat trousers as “The Windsor Waffle” (blogger buddie) persuaded me to keep both pairs I bought yesterday…. Easily persuaded!
Back home and I’ve been a man on a mission!! I have hoovered the whole house, hung up washing, looked out clothes to sell on Vinted to make up for buying new things yesterday and walked the three pupperinos! not selling the clothes yet as I feel they all need a wash first.
I took LOADS of photos of the dogs in the hope that one would be a classic. I think these are the best.
Zoom in on Freya’s teeth! She’s eating grass but it looks like she’s smiling with all her teeth! Loved this cloud! We found thistles mum!! Spot Calaidh?!
This next one is because they saw a kitten, walk out a field, right in front of us. they started to pull… I made them stop and get back behind me, and sit down.
Such good girls. ♥️♥️♥️
The sky is so dark. It looks like it’s gonna rain again but it’s stayed off so far but the wind is picking up. The dark sky makes for lovely dramatic photos.
So another good weekend! Getting used to my extra days off.
Hope you all have a great week. Stay calm and remember we can handle everything that life throws at us this week!
I was awake early today as the Scottish Dog Behaviourist had his usual early morning alarm. I thought I’d get up and at it rather than wasting hours on my phone.
Straight out with hoddit, doddit and ploddit for our early morning dog jog! Freya was just not feeling it today. She might be coming in to season maybe?
Everything is so green after the amount of rain we’ve been having. It was such a dry June that I really feel July is making up for it. The rain today is like a tropical storm! (Ok I know that Mrs Scottish person has no real concept of a tropical storm, it’s just heavy rain! 😂)
I pass this every dog walk and think this would make a great gang hut.
Gang hut?!?!? That makes me smile as I don’t know that I ever had a gang hut when I was wee and yet I think it would be great now?!? For my “gang”?!? Basically somewhere cool to sit and hide is more likely these days.
I also had a wee thistle photography session again this morning too. I don’t know how they came out until I go to look at them right now 😂
Hmmmm much the same as every other day…. One day I’ll get the thistle photo that will launch my photography career 🤦🏻♀️😂 today was not that day!
Spotted this wee guy in the field!
There’s a problem with this next photo. There’s a sheep and a lamb in the primary school playing fields.
Quick hop in the shower and then off up to Braehead shopping centre for a strapless bra for the hen do tonight. (as a wee aside it turns out I’m not wearing the dress that needs one!!)
I had a lovely wee shopping trip to myself.
The cropped cargos were nice but not what I was really looking for.
I really liked these full length cargos. I ordered them for home delivery as they didn’t have the regular length in stock. The ones in the photo are short.
I loved this linen vest top but it just didn’t look right on. Too square at the top and straight up and down. I got the black cargos but I don’t think I need both them and the grey ones. Might take the black ones back.
This wee playsuit actually looks really nice in the photo but it was super uncomfortable and clung to all the wrong spots.
Linen top was lovely but did nothing for me.
Black T-shirt was lovely but again… I’m not a massive fan of a high neck.
Got this next one. The v neck felt better on.
And this next one… I never saw that coming?!? Needless to say…. I didn’t buy that!
I have to say that I’m feeling really good about my weight loss. I’m not trying hard, I’m not making a huge effort. I’m just fasting for 16-20 hours every day and it feels like I have taken back control. I love the food that I’m eating in between. I appreciate it, I savour it and I feel very grateful for it. I know that sounds daft but you know I say it how it is.
I find my main meals are much healthier than before because I want it to be tasty and not just carbohydrates, which taste of nothing. I still have cakes, milky coffees and crisps, I just don’t eat them all day.
So I’m gonna put this out there as I’m proud of where I’ve got to…. I tried on bikinis today….
More than anything, look at the difference in my face because actually that’s all that matters.
The majority of us hate our bodies. I am learning to be very appreciative of what I have. It’s a different story without the bikini top on but let’s deal with one thing at a time and don’t worry there will NEVER be photos of that!!!
So yeah tonight we have Elly’s Hen next door on the village pub. Since I don’t go out much, I am very lucky it’s just next door. It’s been TORRENTIAL rain and tonight it a tropical theme!!
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 