Day 1361 normal service of day numbering has been resumed 😆

So yesterday I randomly called the blog day 1400 because of course that follows from day 1359 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 NOT….. hey I’ve done this every night for 1361 days so sometimes the concentration might slip 😂 that’s my excuse anyway.

Thanks to an anonymous person on WordPress, for pointing it out. I laughed out loud when I read his comment. 😂

So back to day 1361 (I just typed 2361 there… one of those days!)

I had a more broken sleep last night. 7 hours 29 looks good but I felt like I was awake from 3am. My knee wasn’t agony but it kept twinging and waking me up.

As I write that I realise I STILL haven’t even opened the physio exercises yet?!? How hard is it to read a bit of paper?! I’m meant to be doing them 3 times a day.

Will do them after this. Promise.

Yesterday a dandelion wish flew out of a drawer I was clearing and floated up into the air. I thought how pretty it was and how random to see it in the middle of the office, in January…. Then my friend Isy posted this…

I messaged to tell her. Then this morning she gets this on her FB feed… I love it when there is synchronicity like this.

I also typed the name of a supplier today and before I’d finished they were calling me! I love it!

So I’ve been in a good mood today. I’ve been working on pricing spreadsheets all day so I’m a bit square eyed but I enjoyed it. Compiling data. My fav.

I’m tired tonight. Craig’s working and I was planning to get lots done but actually I’m quite comfy sitting in on the couch relaxing…. Which is all I ever do on these winter nights. It’s hard to break that habit as I enjoy the chill out time after a working day.

I love this next one.

And this is so true….

So thankfully I release just about everything that goes on in my mind these days. No chance of me suppressing anything much. 😂

Nothing much else to report. There was a lovely sky when I left work at 4… such a shame the view is from an industrial estate!

It was light all the way home, which is lovely and the first time I’ve really noticed it. There was a lovely sun setting sky from the back garden too.

The pups are asleep and I have my feet up. Early night for me I think. Mrs spreadsheet head!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1360 back to the every day… 😆

EDIT: So for some reason my brain went from day 1359 to day 1400 and thanks to “anonymous” for pointing that out. It made me laugh a bit too hard!!! title amended… blog as it was!

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Wow, I wished I’d had a more exciting day for day 1400 but sadly not…. Days 1358 and 1359 have blown everything this week out the water 😁 still, I’m focussing on enejoykng the present moment so I didn’t wish the day away.

The pillow under my leg in bed is still working a treat. No sore knee overnight, I’m soooooo pleased about that. Even after that run and two walks yesterday, it’s ok sleeping. It’s sorer sitting at my desk than anything else.

So another frosty day but a lot less sunshine today. It was bitter.

This is Craig’s windscreen this morning., his car hadn’t been out since Saturday lunch.

Mine wasn’t as bad as we’d been at Gro Coffee last night.

I love this…. my friend Isy posted on FB today. She shares a lot of amazing things and I very rarely give her credit.

It’s beautiful.

It’s been soooo lovely to see the blue sky and sunshine…. Especially the fact there is no wind and rain…. It does feel like quiet time.

So work, stop for diesel and food shopping on the way home. This made me laugh.

So I’m just gonna share some more photos from the wonderful weekend.

Awwww precious memories, I just loved it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1359 sleep, jog, dog walk, housework, dinner out!

Another great day in the life…. Though some random anxiety mid day… 🤷🏻‍♀️

I slept like a log last night…. Not surprising I guess after 10.7k in a kayak and all that sea air… but I did have my knee up on a big pillow at the physio’s advice. That seems to have made a difference, though tonight will be the real test as I’ve used my knee a lot today.

I went for a walk/jog/run with Rachel two doors down…. And we actually ran for most of the route, it’s so good to be back out there ~~running~~ jogging!

We did Tough Mudder together in 2022 and ran at a really similar pace. We stopped when either of us needed to and we both felt tired at different times. Neither of us actually like running, which is half the battle!

So at 10am today in the freezing cold thick frost, we gingerly set off. Baby jog steps!!

Selfie in motion!

It’s another stunningly beautiful day.

The roads were slippy!

We walked down the two slippy hills just to be on the safe side but did run most of the way.

Don’t think either of us expected that. Just plodding along at the same speed makes all the difference. We both don’t like to hold anyone up if we’re running with someone faster. It makes it less enjoyable.

So it wasn’t much, it ended up being 23 minutes but I think that’s a really good start.

It’s way more than I managed during the Christmas holidays. All in all today, 15,877 steps so far!

When I got in, I was still quite fired up so took Calaidh up the hill…..

Everything is so pretty in the frost.

Then who suddenly appeared?!? Nacho with Rachel!! He’s off to catch Calaidh!

The Garnock valley looks stunning with the the fog over Kilbirnie loch.

I came home and did housework before Criag and I took the dogs over to the field across the road. This is where my anxiety arose…..

I’m overwhelmed walking four dogs… it’s just completely above my pay grade. I imagined sooooo many things going on. I felt really anxious but instead of holding it all in, I did tell Craig. I didn’t want to spoil the walk and I knew I would if I held it all inside.

He wanted to take them down to Irvine beach park but I was worried there would be too many dogs down there.

When we were in the field I was upset by Khaleesi barking so much, which she does as she has fun…. I thought the dogs might get out the field, was worried someone else would come in the field and we shouldn’t be there. You name it… floods of anxiety.

Here’s the Scottish Dog Behaviourist sitting on a tree stump, calling a client who had some questions, while we were in the field.

The dogs had a blast!

I didn’t actually relax until we got home.

I need to do some work on that.

Here’s Leesi in her new coat. Bless her.

We decided to head to Gro Coffee in Irvine as I got vouchers from Craig’s mum and stepdad for my Christmas.

The sun was just starting to set when we arrived….not a breathe.

Love the way these flats are lit up by the sun.

You can’t book in Gro and they said it would be a 45 minute wait…. So I dragged Craig towards the sunset.

Look at the reflections! My friend Helen will be so proud of me for looking at the reflections.

TEN MINUTES later Gro called and we had to rush back!! There’s a bank of cloud running along the base of Arran so I think the actual sunset would have been stunning but we had to head back.

All of these were taken while walking very fast!!

Our food was the usual Gro standard…. Lovely! meat feast pizza, chicken tenders, halloumi fries and skin on fries.

So all in all, minus this afternoon’s anxiety, I’ve had THE best weekend.

It looks like it will be frosty and sunny most of the week. Long may it continue.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1358 kayaking in the Firth of Clyde from the Largs Pencil to Hunterston Pier and back! 🛶🛶

What an amazing day. Oh my word…. Just out of this world.

I am SHATTERED writing this but that could be because I had to sleep on the couch again last night due to my bad knee…. And the fact that Lindsay and I have kayaked 10.7K today from the Largs Pencil to Fairlie Pier, Fairlie, Hunterston Pier and beyond… then back.

It’s been a beautiful day, wall to wall sunshine and a real warmth to the sun, time spent with the best mentor and great chat!!

Now I’d like you to take the time to read this and remember that it’s only a few years since I sat in Gran’s chair and could barely manage to shower, clean my teeth or walk the dogs.

Here I am this morning in my dry suit! (This was gifted to me by a random lady we met in Castle Semple car park in Lochwinnoch, saving me about £300!)

We parked at Largs Marina and got the kayaks all ready to go. That’s the Largs Pencil in the distance, with the Largs ferry a tiny dot on the horizon!

The sun was so low we couldn’t see a thing to take this photo but apart from a lot of teeth, it work out fine! 😂

The sea was like a millpond.

I’ve missed this beautiful weather so much over the last few months.

It was actually quite warm in the sun.

Following Lindsay! She’s a great teacher and has all the safety equipment to keep me safe. This is my first time in the sea and the sea is not to be taken lightly.

We kayaked carefully, past the entrance to Largs Marina and carried on down to the Fairlie Pier.

And went right under it!

And out the other side!

We stopped for lunch on Fairlie Beach.

It was just beautiful.

Had to get the obligatory kayak photo in the water! That’s the isle of Great Cumbrae in the foreground to the right, Little Cumbrae to the left and Arran in the background.

Looking back to Fairlie as we leave.

We watched two tugs move this massive barge, full of large rocks, over to Great Cumbrae, to help build its flood defences.

Now heading to the Hunterston Pier.

Lindsay got some photos of me, just to prove I did it!

How beautiful is this?!?!? The view…. Not me 😂

We came back under both piers.

Honestly I have another million photos but these were some of the best.

I have had THE most amazing day. It’s not lost on me that for so long I thought life, as I knew it, was over.

My life is SO much better than it ever was. I have ALWAYS wanted to kayak out in the sea. We never knew Lindsay and Euan back then. Now we do, and they are so kind to lend us their equipment and help teach me.

Lindsay was so patient and safety conscious…. There’s not need to be scared. I was slighly anxious last night but absolutely buzzing ALL day today.

Life changes in ways you will never believe it possible.

It’s important to keep believing that.

If it’s bad for you just now, just be patient and try to be as grateful as you can, for all that you currently have.

Stay safe everyone 🛶♥️🛶

Day 1357 a self care kinda day and an afternoon with Gayle!

Wait till you hear about my morning… honestly, even I don’t believe what I spent the morning doing!

I had an amazing night’s sleep, out for the count all night. I’m so grateful for that.

I felt super refreshed.

I got up at 8, let the dogs out, fed the dogs, poop scooped the garden, took all the recycling to the bins and I felt so good after it all. I know how crazy that sounds. I get an amazing sense of calm when things are in order.

It’s a beautiful morning. It’s cold but no wind or rain and the sky is a lovely colour. Not good enough for photos but lovely nonetheless.

I made freshly ground, steaming hot, black coffee…. I write that and smile as it’s all about how you describe it. It was just a pot of black coffee but as I poured it, I thought of that wonderful description. It was a new bag of coffee beans that I’d bought from Curiosity coffee shop.

It was the nicely freshly ground coffee we’ve tried.

I then headed upstairs and sat with my Self Care Journal and filled out the first lot of pages. My main purpose in life… the things I enjoy, the things that make me happy and the things that get in the way of that happiness.

How do I feel emotionally, spiritually, in my friendships and relationships, environmentally, socially and then some.

What do I want to focus on this month?

I loved every minute of it.

I used a nice pen… why does that matter…. But it did.

I used some nice stickers! One that said today was a big day as I started to work in the journal.

I hear myself right now. I have NEVER done anything like this before and in fact I was scoff at those who did. Probably only because I was envious of their clarity of mind and vision that they wanted to do so much work on themselves… when I was barely holding it together.

It feels like time. It’s time to take back control of my life. No more boredom, feeling life is passing me by…. I’m going out to get it.

I did take this photo and send it to Craig. One is the bed made by a man and one is the bed made by a woman. 🤔

He replied with “which one did I do?!? Love you xxx” I laughed out loud!!

Khaleesi and Freya had a good snooze while I did all the hard work.

I then went for a shower and found a playlist…. 100 most uplifting songs ever…. And played that and sang along to it as I showered.

I was buzzing and I felt so alive.

I had physio for my knee at 12.40. It was an NHS appointment and the nurse was lovely. She asked so many questions about the pain, about family history of arthritis, about my psoriasis and she gave both knees a good workout to see what the issue was. She’s scheduled me for blood tests on 16th January to look for inflammatory disease and has given me exercises to do up to 3 times a day. She’ll call once the blood test results come back.

I then picked up Gayle and we headed to Curiosity coffee shop in Beith. I had a mint oat milk latte with Rocky road and Gayle had a hot chocolate with Cookies and Cream cake.

It was a lovely catch up, chat, coffee and cake!! We just joined 3 other folk at the table and chatted away.

We then went to Gayle’s wholesaler in Glasgow for SALE stickers for her Christmas sale when she opens back up in January.

When we left I drove on the wrong side of the road!!!!!

I couldn’t think what side of the street to on and chose the wrong one?!?! Thankfully it was a quiet street. Gayle kept me right!!

We headed to Silverburn shopping centre but I didn’t feel quite right after that. I was a bit dizzy and lightheaded. not sure if it was too much caffeine, dehydration or not enough food. It could have been any of them…. I felt very fuzzy headed.

We had a good wonder around the shops but the feeling never really left.

Home now and I do feel better after having had dinner. Comfies on and feet up. It’s been a busy day after so long doing nothing.

A very purposeful day.

I’m so surprised that I wanted to do this. So proud that I have and excited to see what it brings.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1356 that was a quick two day week!

I slept much better last night yet felt exhausted when the alarm went off.

When I finally got out of bed I actually managed to wake up pretty fast to face the day!

The dogs barked so I got them up too…. Here are Cal and Khal when I left for work. Khaleesi is a big dog but she can curl up into the smallest ball.

Work was good. I got all the 2024 spreadsheets pulled together, cleared out drawers and my samples box. I cleaned my desk and files. It feels great to refresh everything.

So I’m still in the positive mental attitude for now and I’ve got a whole host of things to share. My FB feed is full of positivity.

Read this one slowly.

I love the meaning in that. Your life is now.

I will definitely be doing this with my new self care journal.

So really that’s all for today. Not much doing. No plans this evening but pretty pleased with the short working week!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1355 first working day of 2024

Hi ho hi ho it’s off to work we go!

I was not quite that cheerful at 6.10am when the alarm went off this morning.

I couldn’t get to sleep last night at all… I came down to the couch, finished Matthew Perry’s book and then fell asleep for a few hours.

Of course I felt shattered when the alarm went off…. But bright at the same time.

Everything was ready to go, I just needed a shower.

It was torrential rain when I left. not sure the photos do it justice.

If you click on the photo and zoom into the street light it shows how bad it was!

Of course nothing goes according to the plan in your head… expecting a great first day with great progress and there were two guys on holiday and one off sick and then…. Time of the month rears its ugly head 😂 of course it does. May explain my maudlin mood these last few days. I would have found that all overwhelming in the past but none of it affected me. I just had a wry smile to myself.

Life has a way of throwing you off what you expect to happen but it’s all ok if you just let it be what it is. None of it is the end of the world.

I bet you all read that thinking course it’s not the end of the world…. But I would have made that all a big stress and drama in the past.

So a good day. Got lots done. Refreshed my befuddled head. Reminded myself what it is we do and how.

I had a lovely salad for lunch…. Followed by hot chocolate and choccie biscuits and pizza but hey…. The salad was genuinely the best part.

It was almost light the whole drive home!

I got my self care journal from Clever Fox today.

It has 90 days of mindful wellness planning. I’ve yet to get a good look at it but initial inspection is really interesting.

And I found the stickers! I’m going to spend a bit of time with it at the weekend.

I’ve never done anything like this before and I’m excited to see what it brings.

I’m not gonna sit back and be overwhelmed by a dark and moody January. This is the first time I don’t feel dread for the month of January. I feel hope and excitement for everything that it might bring. A very good friend told me just today that we have to live and love every moment.

I hear myself, I know it’s cheesy but I mean it. No more lounging around bored.

We also get an extra day this year as it’s a leap year…. 366 new pages!

I hope to write a beautiful story this year. I want to explore as much as possible and enjoy every minute as much as I can.

I am not going to write “what could possibly go wrong?” as I usually do…. I’m going to say bring on 2024.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1354 last day of the Christmas holiday & 5 years without drink!!

Another lazy day for me.

I really have to write down a list of things I could do when it’s raining and I can’t think of anything else to do!

I woke at 5 when someone’s alarm went off…. Randomly…. I was awake for an hour and went back to sleep until 10.20am!!!

10.20am. Unheard of.

I couldn’t wake up.

I was dreaming I was on my friend, Helen’s, roof down in Exmouth. I was with Cillian Murphy of Peaky Blinders fame and we were watching for the Aurora Borealis. I was showing him how he could view it through the phone…. Go figure. 🤦🏻‍♀️

No wonder I didn’t want to wake up. 😂

I have been a bit aimless again today but I’ve embraced it. I’ve enjoyed reading some more of Matthew Perry’s book.

Craig and I took all the dogs out for a walk and the heavens opened! I seem to have forgotten to take photos. It was really grey and damp looking.

I ordered a self care journal, recommended to me by my blogger Buddy The Windsor Waffle.

I feel I do need a bit of direction and I hope this will help. I wanted it in the bright sunshine yellow but it was sold out so I went for the rose gold.

I was happy not to set New Year’s resolutions but I don’t want to feel this rudderless again any time soon. I’ve not embraced it.

I’m excited to think about what I want from the coming months. I am not going to give in to January blues.

Today I also celebrate my 5 years without alcohol.

Have a good look at this. I used to be embarrassed by it but not now. I have saved £14,000 by not drinking. I have not consumed 787,800 calories that I might have consumed in alcohol!!!!

With hindsight it would have been nice to have that £14k sitting around to spend.

Actually as I think about that…. Maybe that money helped allow us to keep the house when I left the big job. That’s pretty fair to say I think.

I’ve found being alcohol free this Christmas, pretty hard. It’s felt a bit of a lonely place to be apart from New Year’s Day where I drank Coke Zero and didn’t bat an eyelid.

I still make such a big thing about it in my head. I feel hard done to that I have chosen this path…. But have chosen this for all the right reasons.

I need to make some peace with my sobriety and accept it as my way of life and stop banging on about it…. It’s become a bit all consuming. Except to celebrate my increasing years obviously!!

When I read that through… maybe that’s why I’ve been bored? We’re so used to drinking through the holidays that I’ve actually not been sure what else to do with myself…. Even after all this time. Maybe the self care journal will help with that. I’m so excited to get it… there are stickers!!! 🥳😊🥳

We’ve had a lovely steak pie dinner tonight.

A mahoosive plateful…. Calaidh’s eyes say it all! When there’s two of you, you share a steak pie…. I’m not sure how it would be enough for 4 people. It was super tasty but way too much pastry.

Craig made his own roasties, with goose fat. They were really good.

I also managed 25 out of 26 fasts 12 hour fasts in December. I’d signed up to do 12 lots of 12 hours! Yesterday I had to hit the button at 11 hours and 57 minutes…. I should have waited those 3 minutes but I forgot about the challenge. 😂😂

So back to work tomorrow. Always hate the end of a holiday but I’ve learned a lot about myself while I’ve been off. I’m looking forward to some routine again.

The salad is made already, in my new salad tub, ready to go. My clothes are all ready to go. My head is ready.

2024 here we come.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1353 New Year’s Day 2024!!

I did type 2023 there. Course I did…. 😂

Happy New Year!

I started off the year with a rotten sleep and “woke” feeling really tearful and a bit down.

We went to bed at 2am and I woke at 4am with a throbbing knee and came downstairs to lie by the light of the tree one last time.

I lay there thinking what I heard on a podcast yesterday.

Why don’t I choose to be happier?

Why do I choose to be sad?

Ellison had messaged me yesterday and said she hoped I was enjoying the break from work…. I actually cringed when I thought jeez… some people are just never happy (meaning myself…. Not her!!)

I realised that I’ve been miserable doing nothing, while it’s actually been valuable time off work. Time that I would kill for when I’m actually AT work. Why can’t I appreciate what I have when I have it?

I spent yesterday’s blog telling everyone to appreciate the present moment, yet I seem to have been in a proper humph about everything this holiday.

I have NOT been choosing to be happy.

I’ve been choosing to be sad.

I tried to go back to bed after I’d let the dogs out and fed them this morning.

I just lay there being unkind to myself.

Talking down to myself.

The voice in my head was incessant. Until….

Today I’m going to choose to be happy.

I smiled when I thought that.

Life is what you make it…. I said that only yesterday.

I got up and went outside with the dogs. The sky was lovely.

Trying to get a photo of the puppers and here comes Khaleesi the photobomb!!

She was having a blast.

I then wandered down the bottom of the garden in my jammies and turned around to see this lovely rainbow over our houses.

Khaleesi is still careering around 😂😂

It started to rain but I stayed out in it to appreciate the moment.

I can almost see two rainbows in this next picture.

I sent some of the neighbours some photos as I thought it was really lovely right over our houses.

I then headed back in and had a good chat with Craig about how I’d been feeling and what I thought I needed to change. It was good for me. I felt better after it.

We had a good tidy and clean and sadly took down the Christmas tree. I’ve lost my lovely twinkly lights. I say that but the house is all fresh and clean and ready for going back to work.

The pub was open for New Year’s Day from 1pm so we headed in for about 2. I made a point of putting on a dress and putting makeup on as I wanted to make an effort.

New Year’s Day is a big day in our village life. We see lots of the villagers we don’t always see.

Rachel two doors down was my New Year’s Day “drinking” buddy!

I’ve had a lovely afternoon. I switched from 0% pink gin and slimline tonic, to Coke Zero pretty early on as I think the tonic was giving me a headache. I was totally fine drinking Coke Zero and didn’t feel strange for once.

I didn’t take my new favourite scarf off! The pub was cold!

We had lots of good chat. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. The chat just flowed.

We came home and ordered a takeaway from the new Indian in Beith. It was super fast delivery, HUGE portions and really good.

We have steak pie for today but thought we would cook that tomorrow when we have more time during the day.

So after a shaky start, I’ve had a lovely day. I’ve turned my head around.

Rachel and I have agreed to start a weekly run…. Even if we just start walking.

We ran together in Tough Mudder last year and ran at a similar pace. I want to do some more cardio and know I’m not likely to stick to it by myself.

So first step taken to making some changes.

She who doesn’t do New Year’s resolutions…. 😂

So on the eve of my last day off, I realise I really appreciate the time I’ve had off work. Even if I did just rest, read and watch movies… I musta needed it.

It’s 8.20pm and we have 364 more days of this new year to go and 364 more chances to be happy.

It’s our choice.

Stay safe everyone ♥️🫶🏼♥️

Day 1352 Scottish Hogmanay 2023 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

It’s Hogmanay 2023…. New Years Eve in Scotland.

The eve of a new year always seems to be a time for reflection. It’s a pivotal point in life where there’s significant change… we leave the old year behind and a new, fresh year lies ahead.

How many of us look back with regret at all the things we didn’t do? All the things we wish we had done better? Regret for the current life that we live because we think we need more?

How many of us believe that life will be better after we buy the next thing… go on the next holiday…. Have the new job… the list goes on?

How many of us do everything to please everyone else? Say yes to things we don’t want to do? Never take time for ourselves?

How many of us bury our sorrows in a bottle of wine? A huge bar of chocolate?

How many of us put ourselves down? Say things like “silly me”… or “I get everything wrong”…. “I can never do this”…

How about we actually stop and cut ourselves some slack?

We are all who we are because of the life that we have led until this point.

Read that again… slowly.

We are conditioned by our upbringing, the values of parents and generations before them. We are brought up to be who we are.

Our life experiences add to everything we become.

No amount of regret or shame for past mistakes changes anything.

You are only punishing yourself.

You need to forgive yourself and empathise the way you would with a friend.

Know that every year that we live, will be filled with highs and lows. Some lows will be worse than others and some highs will be truly wonderful. I honestly believe that the power is how we handle the now…. The present moment.

I’ve said it so many times before.

Sometimes I forget it too…..

We only get one shot at this.

That breath that you are taking just now is what life is all about. Right here, right now.

How about we celebrate who we are really are and who we have become?

We have survived 100% of our worst days…. We have been ecstatic on our best days.

(Little interlude here to thank my friend Ruth who used to send me “100%” when I’d had a bad day… 😘♥️🫶🏼)

If you’re feeling really sad reading this then I’m sorry as I know how bad that is. I’m sending a huge hug and remember that there is always someone who will listen. In most cases life will get better and you will look back on these worries as the stepping stone to something else.

You can learn so much from the bad times, the bad moods, the anger…. If you just listen to what it’s really telling you.

I’ve been sad these last few days.

I’ve been bored.

I’ve felt life is passing me by…. Again.

I’m excellent at giving advice 😂😘 I don’t always take my own.. 😂

The call to travel and see the world is screaming at me.

Let go and trust.

Life is what we make it.

It’s what we allow our reactions to be.

Be kind to yourself.

Know you’ve done your best up until now and know that you will do your best moving forward.

I think it’s perfectly acceptable not to set goals for the future and actually be proud of the person you are now.

I have learned so much this last year and can finally say that I’m proud of where I am.

I’ve been writing my mostly daily blog for almost 4 years but more importantly celebrating 5 years without alcohol. I stopped and gave myself a chance to listen so that I could reflect and heal.

If you go to bed and miss it all, you are my soul people… otherwise have a lovely time celebrating. We have our friends Lindsay and Euan, coming round and I’m really looking forward to their company. New Year has alway been a difficult one for me. So much pressure to have fun. Finally I feel completely calm taking each moment as it comes.

And of course I’ve had a two hour nap!

Happy New Year when it comes and thank you so much for following my ramblings. ♥️

It means the world xx

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1351 Happy Hogmanay Eve!

Knee pain – 1 progesterone – 0

Another strange on and off sleepless night. My knee is only sore in bed now. I even remembered to take painkillers!

Anyhoo… we had a lovely evening with Claire and Graeme last night. Check us… entertaining and all that! It was really nice and great chat.

It was super frosty by the time they left and still like that this morning.

Caught the dogs on the couch again this morning.

Minus Freya who couldn’t wait to get outside.

We had a good kick about with tennis balls .

Khaleesi is not quite sure what to do when she gets the tennis balls.

I sometimes her put her on the lead to stop her running about too much and hurting her legs.

So today Gayle and I were having a big day out.

I had loads of ideas, obviously the most crazy was that we would drive all the way to Oban and got to the Oban Chocolate shop for waffles and hot chocolate. The weather was forecast to be so lovely.

The forecast changed…. Considerably. 😂

This morning I looked a 3 other long distance cafés…. One in Lochgoilhead which is and hour and half drive, one in Balmaha, about an hour away and one in Luss… also about an hour away.

They are all open today.

Good.

Just to decide.

I check the forecast.

SNOW!!!!!!!!!

ALL 3 LOCATIONS.

Look out the window.

SNOW!!! 🤯🤯🤯

My head goes into a tailspin…. Don’t tell me we’re not going to get our big day out!?!?

I picked Gayle up before 11…. We drove around for a while…. Thought about heading to Braehead Shopping Centre but turned around at Lochwinnoch as the snow was pretty bad.

We decided to head to Mocha JaK’s coffee shop at the end of the road!!

It was so lovely to get out of the house and have a right good natter!! For FOUR hours we talked incessantly.

I had French toast with bacon and maple syrup.

I ordered the Avocado stack but they didn’t have that… then I ordered the veggie breakfast but they didn’t have that either so I actually really enjoyed the French toast as I would never have really ordered it. They finish up today for a week so they were understandably running things down.

By the time I dropped Gayle off we were still talking and remembering things we hadn’t caught up on!

When I got home the snow had all gone. There was a lovely sky and it was only 3.30pm.

I’m watching a movie called “What we did on our holiday” with David Tennant and Billy Connolly… it’s really good.

The dogs are fast asleep and I’m sitting by the light of the tree.

A lovely day!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

Day 1350 cabin fever!!

Knee pain – 1 progesterone – 0

Dog being brought into the room and onto clean bed – ORBIT!!

What a dreadful night. Honestly I tossed and turned like a tossy turney thing… ALL night.

I just couldn’t get comfy at all. As soon as I did I had to move again. I hadn’t taken painkillers as my knee had been ok…. Had to take them in the middle of the night.

Knee pain – 1 painkillers – 0

Criag had a takeaway so I had some chicken pakora about 8pm so maybe it was late food… even though I didn’t eat much.

I’ve felt like a half shut knife all day.

I am really struggling doing nothing.

Determined to get out of the house today, I started weeding the garden first thing as it was actually calm and there was no rain. it’s lovely to be outside in nature. It’s so calm, feels like everyone is still in bed.

I wasn’t properly dressed for weeding though… so I headed up to Braehead to exchange some faulty black smart jeggings I had bought for Christmas… the waist band came away on Boxing Day! The stitching all came undone.

It was lovely to drive up to Braehead.

The river we pass had flooded its banks. It’s not affecting any housing so it looks pretty. It fascinates me. Wish I could have got some photos.

The roads and Braehead are pretty quiet thankfully. I get parked near the door to M&S… in, exchange and a quick wander round Primark before heading back out. My knee is sore after the walking.

I don’t feel like looking anywhere else. I used to love the sales but I know I don’t need anything.

This week has been like being off sick.

I never do this little.

I’m racking my brain for things to do and can’t think of anything. Bet when I sit back at my desk next week I will think of lots of things I could have done!! (Predictive text had me racking my Brian 😆)

Back home, watched a movie, had a shower, tidied the house because drum roll….. we are having visitors tonight!!! People are coming to our house and we are serving actual food. Can’t think the last time we ever did that. I’m proud of us for inviting them. 😁 It’s Claire and Graeme from next door so we’re looking forward to a good chat and some good company.

I’m still doing really well on the fasting. I’m currently sitting at nearly 21 hours. I find it easy on days off to have one meal. I can’t do that when I’m at work though. When 12.30pm comes, I’m conditioned to feel ravenous! Not so on holidays!

I also have a wee day out with Gayle tomorrow which I’m looking forward to… if I could only think where we could go!

My big plan was to head to the Oban Chocolate Shop for Hot Chocolate and Waffles…. That was when the forecast was beautiful and we’d have a sunny Oban. It’s also 2.5 hours drive there and back so I didn’t even run it past Gayle. It just shows where my head is at.

These last few days have blown away like dead leaves. I want to appreciate every moment and make every day count and make peace with what I choose to do.

I’m rested. Now it’s time to move!!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Day 1349 another random day in between Christmas and New Year 😂

I slept like a log last night.

Progesterone – 1 Knee Pain – 0

Woop woop!

My knee has uncomfortable today but nothing like the pain a few days ago, so all good.

It’s been another strange day in between Christmas and New Year.

I don’t really want to do anything but I’m bored by doing nothing.

It’s still torrential rain, the wind isn’t that strong first thing but it picks up again later on in the day. It feels like it never really gets light. I miss the blue sky and sunshine.

Again I sound like I’m complaining but it’s actually been a really nice day… indoors.

We went for a food shop together today. We got lots in for the next few days. The use by dates aren’t great so we’ll have to go back out before New Year’s Day. Most stuff was dated until Saturday.

I changed the bed when we got back….Clean sheets tonight! I did two loads of washing, put clothes away and tidied out Craig’s wardrobe…. As you do. It was stressing me out! 😂

Other than that is been another “me” day… chilling with my book and the puppers.

I love the light of the Christmas tree and the candles but you’ve gathered that by now, haven’t you?!

I saw this and thought…. Absolutely!!

So feet up on the couch for me again. Dogs are shattered, they’re all sound asleep!

Most of all I am calm.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Day 1348 some would say a waste of a day…. I’m going with rest, relaxation and recuperation 📖🛌

Today has felt like the longest day.

I should say that I’m not complaining but I don’t do lazy or correction, rest days easily.

Despite lying around reading a book, I do have spells of guilt but it passes pretty quickly.

I have had a lot of social interaction these last few days. I am in desperate need of a day of silence….

I literally had no idea what to do today. I didn’t wake up until 9.15am. That doesn’t happen often.

I feel like I’m in some exhausted slump. It doesn’t help that, between the progesterone, I slept like a log but I woke every time I moved my knee through the night.

I came downstairs and lay on the couch with the dogs curled up on me and at my feet.

With the other two just across the way.

The weather doesn’t help. It’s dismal today…. It’s rained all day and everything is wet and sodden looking, the dogs are soaked from being outside. They prefer to be inside.

I’m reading this back and I sound down in the dumps. I am actually not. I’ve had the loveliest of days, just not doing what I expected to be doing.

I’m using lots of my Christmas presents already….. I seem unable to live without my electric hot water bottle and I’ve been unable to put down Matthew Perry’s memoir… Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing.

It’s such a fascinating read. I’ve been really drawn to his trouble with addiction, since he died this year. I wish I knew then what I know now. The poor guy never really stood a chance. He was great at helping others but just could not beat it himself.

Cookie the Chihuahua came to visit for a couple of hours as my in-laws had a funeral to attend. I got lots of Cookie cuddles!

Watch out Julie Five Dogs…. No Craig, just no… not ever!!! 😂😂 this is the best photo I got of them altogether.

Cookie who hates the rain went straight outside and didn’t seem to care.

Until Khaleesi did a big excited woof woof and she was off!!

Pretty girl.

I managed to get a call with a Doctor about my knee today and he asked to see them at 4.25. It’s actually been a lot less excruciating today… of course it has but I still need to get it checked as that was way too sore.

#breaksfordoctor 😆

So turns out that it’s just inflamed tendons around my knee causing the pain. Rest, ibuprofen and paracetamol are the answer with Physio booked for Friday 5th January.

I’ve had physio on my other knee and know that it hurts but also know that it does help!

I love this next one and I hope that I am able to help others after everything I have been through. I hope no one ever feels as bad as I felt for no real reason other than my head told me I wasn’t enough.

You can overcome that mountain too…. Or at the very least, make peace with it.

What on earth will we do tomorrow?!? 😂😂

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Day 1347 Boxing Day 2023

Just a quickie today as I’ve had the laziest day so far!!

I say that and I’ve actually done a load of washing, hung it up and tidied the kitchen.

We also went down to the Pharmacy to see if I could get stronger painkillers. I talked to the Pharmacist … so grateful that they are open today.

I got stronger paracetamol and Voltarol to rub on my knee. Sadly it hasn’t made any difference and I’m still Limpy McLimperson. It’s really sore.

I managed to get a good sleep last night though which was great. The progesterone induced sleep seemed to beat the sore knee pain.

We’re on our way to Craig’s mums today. We’re having leftovers but she always cooks loads so that sounds lovely. I’ve been fasting since 5.15pm on Christmas Day and it’s 3.15pm now so I’m ready for some food!

Look how lovely the moon is.

Craig’s driving up and I’m driving home. I don’t feel as anxious about it today. I’m a bit more used to his car after yesterday. I never used to be this person…. But that’s ok….

Hope you’ve all had a lovely day!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Day 1346 Christmas Day 2024 🎄♥️😘

Merry Christmas everyone!

So in true Julie fashion not everything is rosy in the garden. My left knee is agony and kept me awake last night. I haven’t done anything other than stand. I’ve stood a lot at the shop and I stood in the pub last night. When I went to move it was stuck.

I took paracetamol and ibuprofen and it didn’t touch it. I woke two or three times in the night.

It’s been agony all day. 😢 I’m fairly certain it’s just muscular but no idea why it’s so sore.

I’ve also got travel anxiety and I haven’t actually relaxed knowing that me and the sore knee have to drive home.

Anyway moan over…

Other than that we’ve had a lovely day.

We got lovely presents this morning… we were meant to have a £50 limit but not sure either of us stuck to it!

I did a doggo photo shoot!

The puppers had Butternut Box Festive Turkey Feast for breakfast!

We left to head over to Mum and Dad’s about 10.30. It’s takes about an hour and half.

I got a new scarf and I love it!!!

I got a new purse which I love too. It’s multicoloured and matches my scarf. It’s not in this photo 😂😂

Khaleesi made herself at home!

Mum and dad had made a lovely meal.

We’ve had a lovely day!!

I now have the anxiety of getting Craig’s car out of mum and dad’s driveway….. the things I worry about eh?!

I have an appetite for drama and suffering eh?!? Told you I’d throw that at myself sometime soon…

Sending myself some peace. I can do this.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Day 1345 Christmas Eve 2023 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

It’s 2.15pm and I’m having a lovely relaxed Christmas Eve so far.

I woke really early and tried to go back to sleep for a while. I’m not sure I managed it but at least I tried.

I’ve had the best morning pottering around, cleaning and tidying. No agenda, no plan, just bits and pieces.

I put Christmas tunes on and sang as I worked…. Or hummed, maybe mostly I hummed!

Love this from Butterflies and Pebbles.

I cleaned the kitchen this morning before Craig got up. I washed all the tiles down and can’t tell you the last time I did that.

The weather is atrocious but I went out anyway.

I did a festive Christmas Eve poo pick in the garden (ok that’s not even a thing!) and was breathless by the time I got back in! It’s soooo windy.

We had coffee and as I was brewing it I spotted this… how our house rolls on a day off.

I literally polished the bathroom 😂 I want to go and live in there now, it’s so clean.

We have wax melts in every wax melt receptacle…. Cranberry in the hallway, fresh linen in the bathroom and Mediterranean blue (Watermelon), in the living room. The house smells lovely. Both fires are lit. One of them only took me about 5 times but it’s burning.

I had a shower in my lovely clean bathroom and I did not leave it like a hurricane had blown through it… 😆😘😂

We had a lovely nibbly lunch…

Now the photos do not do this food justice. They were all actually really nice unlike most oven food. In the foreground were kind of steamed dumplings with duck & hoisin sauce , to the left back, big chunks of fish on mushy peas in a crispy chip basket. Then there’s Yorkshire puds with beef in them and chorizo pigs in blankets!!! They are a game changer! They were all really good. Wish I’d kept the packets so I could remember where they came from.

Craig had the football on and now we’re sitting by the light of the tree watching Christmas movies.

I’m fairly certain there’s a nap in the post…. My eyes are heavy.

I’m super cosy, the dogs and Craig are asleep, the candles are lit and the tealight houses are all aglow… is that even a word?!

I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards but I’m loving my Christmas Eve.

I hope that you all have a lovely day and a lovely Christmas Eve evening.

Stay safe everyone ♥️🎄♥️

Day 1344 Christmas Eve Eve 2023 🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼

Another very busy day in the little gift shop and my last day working in 2023!

I’ve had the best day.

The weather has been dismal….. so dreich and miserable but we’ve had so many lovely customers in… at times it seemed like we had no time to even breathe. As soon as we could, the kettle was on!

It’s just such a lovely time of year. (I’m not sure I have ever said that before 😂😂😂)

And wait till I tell you about last night. 😆

I was so tired when I got in….. it would have been so easy to sit down and fall asleep.

I had a shower,got my makeup on and headed into the pub for 7pm as we had a village Christmas get together.

It turns out it was a quiz…. I hate quizzes…. Am rubbish at general knowledge…. 🙄

Here I am with Rachel two doors down and Claire!

The quiz had four rounds… in one of them we had to make a Christmas decoration. Here’s our wee guy!

We did really well in the quiz and I knew loads of the answers.

Here I am trying to count how many of Rudolph’s reindeers names ended in -ER…. Not sure what seems to be wrong with my 4th finger…. I got a fit of the giggles after that.

Yup in true Julie fashion I had the best night and our team WON THE QUIZ !!

Here is the winning team with our winning Toffifee prizes!

I think this is the new thing for me. I am discovering so many things that I don’t think I want to do but I actually really enjoy.

It really is good for thought for me. I’ve lived such a quiet life recently. It’s nice to enjoy things when I step outside that comfort zone.

When I came home from work today we popped into the pub and I had 0% pink gin and slimline tonic. We had a good gloat about being last nights’ winners of the quiz!

I’m back home and as I am writing this… without a word of a lie.. Santa just stepped out a car and into the pub!!

He is with one of his Elves… I wish I’d got a better picture. He looked very real.

We’ve had a lovely Chinese takeaway tonight and are watching the new Rebel Moon on Netflix.

My feet are up… comfies on and more importantly the Christmas tree is twinkling away beside me.

A very happy Christmas Eve Eve!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🫶🏼🎄

Day 1344 Friday 22nd December and a crazy busy day in the little gift shop!

I have nooooo photos from today but I am so shattered I could just sleep standing up.

We had an amazing day at the little gift shop but I feel like I’ve been taking gibberish for the last few hours. 😂😂

I was awake at 5am and thought it was a good idea to read my book… why I didn’t go back to sleep is beyond me?! I could have had an extra 2.5 hours.. instead I read my book!! Which was lovely at the time….

The shop was really busy. We almost sold out of stock Gayle wasn’t planning to sell until January. It was just an amazing day!

We’re off into the village pub tonight for a Christmas night with the neighbours.

I really need to jump in the shower to get moving but I’m so comfy sat here beside the lovely Christmas tree.

So with all that said, please forgive the shortest blog. I’ve been talking since about Wednesday lunchtime and I’ve not stopped…. I’m craving some silence. 😂😂

I’m not getting any tonight 😂😂😂

Have a lovely Friday evening!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄

Day 1343 a lovely night with the Crochet Hookers last night and Winter Solstice today!

What a lovely night last night. The Boarding House in Howwood was lovely.

We started off for a few drinks in the Gateside Inn and then Lesley drove us to the Boarding House. It looks super festive.

Tee hee Evelyn is holding the door open while I take my photos!

I don’t have any photos of us at dinner as it was a big round table and impossible to get us all in… here I am before I go out.

Although you can’t see it, I must tell you a funny story about the dress I wore.

First of all… me in a dress. Doesn’t happen often.

More importantly…. Where on earth did that dress come from?

I was looking for a black dress for the funeral today and came across a black dress that I have no recollection of buying. I have wrecked my brains. I don’t recall EVER having seen it before and it fits like a glove.

The dress I was looking for is nowhere to be seen and yet this one seems to be in its place. It has lovely lacy see through sleeves.

Not a clue where it came from.

A couple of pics of the lovely Evelyn and Anne!

Wait till you see the food!

I had sesame chicken strips with mustard mayo and Evelyn had bang bang cauliflower to start.

I had monkfish with chilli and garlic oil with flagrant rice and flatbread. Evelyn had Turkey with all the trimmings. (other meals were available but I wasn’t stretching over everyone for photos! 😂😂

Dessert was Cranachan Pavlova. It was beautiful! also tasted as good as it looked.

We had lots of good chat and put the world to rights as we usually do.

We had Secret Santa and all got lovely gifts. It was such a nice night. I hit a wall after dessert and could have slept at the table!!

Thanks to Lesley for driving and to all the girls for a great night!

It was a crazy wild day today and I had so much anxiety about driving up to Perth. I was so nervous setting off…. Overthinking how bad the weather was. It was only a yellow warning and I’ve driven in red warnings before… I knew it would be nothing but I think I have an “appetite for drama”…. I pinched that from a podcast today! I heard it and thought that was SO true!!

I do and I have…. An appetite for drama and suffering. I want to feel hard done to at times, I want people to feel sorry for me. Recognising it is half the battle. I will slap myself in the face with “appetite for drama” quite regularly….. upon reflection… Craig… in case you’re listening… slap me with this and I’m likely to slap you back 😂😂😂 that’s just my ego talking. I’m allowed to recognise it. I’m not ready for anyone else to.

Apart from narrowly missing a pile up at the Braehead exit of the M8 (wow the adrenaline flooded through me!) and being blown off course on the M80…. The drive was actually quite lovely. The sky cleared blue, although the wind was still blawin’ a hoolie. It was nice to see so much of Scotland just before Christmas… and in the daylight.

Once I found where I was going, I completely relaxed.

Driving home was a breeze…. (That’s a bad metaphor as it was still wild!!) I drove like a pro. It’s like I’m two different people at times. 😂 (actually I’m way more than two different people but that’s a different story. 😂😂). Not a worry mmmon the road at all, weaving in and out of traffic. Second nature kicked back in.

So back home now. Christmas jammies on for a relaxing evening after more socialising than I’ve done in years. 😘

Today is the shortest day with sunrise at 8.46am and setting at 3.37pm.

The light is being born again. I love that idea. This is it folks…. Summer is a-coming. Get those flip flops at the ready!!

Also today is my fast-aversary!! Ok I made that word up. It’s a year since I started fasting and I have managed it for 365 days. Who’d a thunk it?!

I feel I have a long way to go but I am down a couple of dress sizes and I’m way more comfortable in my own skin. I always struggled with feeling bloated and I can honestly say I’ve not felt bloated once in a year.

Would you believe it’s 35 years since the Lockerbie disaster.

I was sat with my dad in the car… we were delivering Webb Ivory Christmas catalogue orders to Dad’s Scout troop…. We were outside Kevin O’Reilly’s house in Penicuik….when we heard that a plane had come ONE HOUR AND EIGHTEEN MINUTES drive away from our house. It’s also sad that Kevin O’Reilly is no longer with us either. He was in my year at school.

Only 4 more sleeps until Santa comes. I’m not dreading Christmas this year. I’m embracing it quietly from the couch beside the beautiful Christmas tree.

So many bad things are happening all around me. To people that I love. These are not my stories to tell but they do have an effect on me. Not everyone is happy this Christmas and I’m more aware than ever that life is today, here and now and it is what you make it.

Appreciate everyone you have around you.

Tell them.

Make it awkward.

Be vulnerable.

The world needs way more of that right now.

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄