😆😆 Helen’s daughter asking if we were having fun “wreaking havoc in the highlands” and I thought that’s what I have to call the blog tonight. 😆

How lucky were we?

Helen planned this trip 6 months ago and I checked the weather last week and decided we had to make the most of it!

We woke up in The Old Schoolhouse in Arisaig this morning and had a lovely breakfast.

We got croissants, pain au chocolat and toast as well. So lovely. Such a great place to stay. Bookable on Airbnb.

We set up off the coast to the Silver Sands of Morar.

The tide was out so it’s not quite as pretty but still dramatic.

These beaches are like the Caribbean.

This boat is Davy Diver and has been moored here for as long as I can remember.

The sand is soft and feels like icing sugar. It’s so white.

Positively tropical.

We got chatting to a lovely couple in a campervan who know who I was from Tartan Camper’s?!?!? Random!!

We then jumped back in the car and headed to the next stop, Camusdarach Beach. You have a lovely walk through the most stunning yellow gorse bushes.

These are just in bloom and the yellow against the green and blue is just stunning.

And then we get this….

I mean… look at this…..

We’re on a tight time schedule as Helen has to be at Glasgow Airport for 4pm.

We get to Traigh Beach and realise it’s 11.33am already! Panic 😆

Only one photo and we’re back on the road… stopping here on the way down.

Our next stop is the famous Glenfinnan Viaduct, made famous by Harry Potter. If you zoom in you can just about make it out. We didn’t have time to get any closer.

This is the Glenfinnan Monument at the top of Loch Sheil.

Here’s a better one of the viaduct.

And after about 10-15 minutes we are back on the road again….

This is Ben Nevis taken from the Corpach Basin.

Not many people ever get to see the top of Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in the UK! Craig and I have climbed that!

It doesn’t look as big as it is! It’s very difficult to photograph.

We drove back up the road a bit to get some reflections on the loch that we’d seen earlier. It was worth it.

The drive home was so beautiful, not a cloud in the sky at all. It’s a stunning drive at the best of times. Mountains and lochs all the way. Every mountain was fully visible. The colours were stunning.

It’s probably one of the best drives in Scotland.

We’ve driven 525 miles this weekend.

It was worth every single minute of it. If I’d changed anything I’d have come back from Skye earlier yesterday to make more use of the beaches around Morar and Arisaig, but we weren’t to know that.

We’ve had the most amazing trip. You know when you are making lifetime memories and this was one of them.

Scotland is the most beautiful country at the best of times, but to see it in the pure blue sky and beautiful sunshine, with bright yellow gorse blooming everywhere, it’s very special. Helen has also been the best travel buddy and co-pilot and I look forward to our next adventures in August.

I’m sure I’ll share more of these photos as there are hundreds more (as usual!)

Back to work tomorrow…. Boo….. 😆😆

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

This is our lovely Airbnb.

What a lovely, lovely space.

It’s situated in Camus Cross, Isleoronsay on Skye.

Were in the little Bothy above the shed.

This is the beautiful house right on the beach and the Bothy is right behind it.

I couldn’t recommend this place more. I loved the shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, hand wash, towels, bedding, the lot. The welcome you receive is wonderful and you feel really at home. The only negative as that you don’t spend a lot of time enjoying the room as there is so much of Skye to explore.

This morning we went for a walk from Camus Cross through Isleoransay.

I swear this sheep is smiling. No wonder… it’s because the sun is shining.

We walked to the local hotel for lunch. Hotel Eilean Iarmain.

Cheers first drink of the day! Diet Coke… obvs…

We had lunch in Bar am Praban.

I had Tattie Scone pulled pork nachos.

We walked back to the Bothy, where we’d left the car and drove down towards Armadale.

Helen did some arty shots.

Love this very faint Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 flag in the sky.

One of the people on the end of the pier, pointed out some dolphins on their way down the sound!

We were sailing on the Loch Brusdha from Armadale to Mallaig. The water is a mill pond. There’s not a breath.

If you know me, you will not be surprised to learn we were first in the queue!!

What a stunning sailing.

The colours in this are an amazing advert for Caledonian MacBrayne ferries.

Mallaig!

Arriving in Mallaig, first on, first off!

This is our home for the night, the Old School House in Arisaig

It’s a beautiful location.

As soon as we checked in, we headed off to chase sunset….. with a picnic!!!

This time we found sunset. One of the best sunsets ever….

It’s 8pm and I am wearing a vest top in the west of Scotland! Helen who is Scottish, has lived in Devon for 24 years, is wrapped up in a cosy hoodie!

Wow!

A much calmer day than yesterday with walks and relaxation.

What a beautiful end to the day.

Memories to last a lifetime!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

It’s 21.55 and we are just back at our lovely Airbnb and we are shattered!!!

We have had the most amazing day but I am so exhausted I can hardly think straight let alone revisit my whole day. I’ll share a couple of photos tonight then promise I’ll do a day 1822 part 2 and issue it tomorrow morning!!

Wall to wall sunshine…… ☀️ pure blue sky all day, not a cloud in the sky.

Wonderful memories made….

Think we’ll sleep tonight!

Part 2 in the morning!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

It’s 8.26pm and Helen and I have just arrived in our little home for a few days on the Isle of Skye.

We have had the most amazing day! We’ve covered 220 miles through the very best of what Scotland has to offer.

The weather has been beautiful all of the way!

I hope this will post as we have no signal here, only WiFi!

This is our trip!

First stop, Firkin Point, Loch Lomond.

Ben Lomond…. Craig and I have climbed that mountain!

We stopped at the Green Welly Stop for the toilet and to buy some snacks…. Then next stop Glencoe…. Check the plane flying over the mountains.

The Three Sisters and Aneoch Ridge.

Then a long drive to Eilean Donan Castle. I have always wanted to visit the castle.

I really need to quit this pose…..

The we drove up to Plockton.

We had dinner in the Plockton Inn.

An amazing hot smoked salmon salad.

We had the most stunning drive back towards the Skye Bridge and caught this beautiful sunset over the Cuillin mountain range.

And here we are, our wee Bothy above the garage.

An amazing day, just right out of this world.

A reminder that life is for living and we must live each moment like it’s our last.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

I woke at 4.50am. I have a sore head and tension in my jaw. Not sure why…. Must drink more water!

I’m working at 7am this morning as I have to leave at 2pm to head to Lochwinnoch, to the doctors for bloods.

It is a beautiful morning!! 🌅 I stop on the way to work and take this… there is only a short period of time where I drive straight into this sun…. It was massive in the sky and the photo doesn’t do it justice!

It was so peaceful, it really took my breath away.

A bench with a lovely view.

So work was really busy today. To be fair I’ve only been in 3 days this week and I left at 2pm so the day went fast.

I’m off on holiday on Monday as my friend Helen is coming up from Exmouth. More about that in a minute…

So mad panic to finish up at work before 2pm and had to get to Lochwinnoch by 2.45pm.

I have to negotiate a right hand turn onto the A737 which I am scared of… I drove towards it saying I’m going to get right through, I’m going to get right through and guess what….. Road clear, drove straight up and turned right straight onto the main road. So easy.

I spoke to the receptionist at the Doctors, sat down, messaged Helen and the nurse called my name!

She took 4 vials of blood today and took my height and weight. Seems I’ve lost 4cms since January, I’m not sure I’m massively happy about that…. Height that is, not around my waist 😆😆

The bloods covered everything including kidney and liver function so it will be good to get the results… a bit like an MOT!

Straight back home to start tidying the house, despite the beeeeeeeauuuuuutiful sunshine.

Then I had counselling at 4pm with Better Help therapy.

I’ve paused my subscription now as I don’t think that I need it right now. It feels more impersonal than any therapy I’ve had and I struggle with the very, very, very tight time schedule. 45 minutes is over in a flash.

My therapist is heading to Rome shortly so I used a good 5 minutes up on that!!! The Scottish arm of the Rome Tourist Board, me. 😆

So Helen lands in Glasgow at 9.25pm and the house is as tidy as it’s going to be. Good chance she’ll be too tired to notice. 😆

If the wind direction stays as it is, she’ll be flying in over our house. It will be dark so she’ll have no idea where she is but I might see her! I know…. I hear myself, these are the things that get me excited!

So from being hardly able to walk the length of myself last weekend to actually booking a mystery trip and going away with Helen this weekend!

I am very excited. I will miss Craig and the dogs obviously but our trip will cover so many lovely places in Scotland, and the forecast is excellent. ☀️☀️☀️

Home to Loch Lomond, Glencoe, Fort William, Eileen Donan Castle, Plockton and the Skye Bridge on the way up, with the CalMac fferry from Armadale to Mallaig on the way back, taking in the silver sands of Morar and Arisaig!

My idea of heaven.

Mostly because it will be very sunny and Scotland is such a beautiful country, and we need to make the most of the sunny days.

Very excited. Just have to get a few things organised first.

I sat outside for my dinner and the sun is just about to head behind the fence so I can get on with packing my bag.

Hope you had a lovely Thursday!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

What a beautiful day.

I’m sitting in the garden with a vest top on and I have bare feet…. It’s sore walking in bare feet for the first time, after they’ve all been wrapped up over winter.

It’s actually hot. For Scotland… it’s pretty warm… it’s 18°C apparently. I say apparently… my black jeans are burning my legs.

It was only 2°C when Lynsey, Rachel and I went out running this morning… check me… officially back in action….

It was pretty dark when we started and we never had a headtorch among us. Couldn’t quite see for the first wee bit but it was getting lighter all the time.

I felt good. It was a really good pace for me. I felt light. My stomach still felt a bit off, but not enough to stop running.

That’s me on the left!! First time I’ve been in one of these shots! Thanks Rachel!

The daffies are beautiful!! I had to stop for photos.

So pretty.

This is the first time in a while that I’ve been quite happy taking the selfie and being at the front of the photo. It says a lot about my recent state of mind.

The sun was lovely as I left for work. It was still only 3.5°C.

Ellison and I sat outside at lunchtime again. We didn’t want to go back in.

Our view is not the greatest, but that lovely big ball in the blue sky is so amazing to see. It’s a bit blowy though, hence the windswept look!

I’m home now, sitting out here…. Trying to write this before I go to meet the Crochet Hookers in 15 minutes.

What a difference I feel today. It’s so good to feel a bit better. My head is clear and focussed. I can think straight. What a relief.

I felt the slightest touch of joy this morning.

I was proud of myself for running. It would have been so easy to say that I shouldn’t, because I’ve been unwell. I should take it easy.

I knew it felt right.

It’s nice to be back in a wee bit of control.

Hope you’ve had a lovely day.

I’m off to hook!!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

I pick the sunniest day of the year to go back to work! Typical.

This was 9pm last night…. Look at that band of light in the sky… soooo lovely.

I planned everything last night.

I had my lunch ready, my work clothes ready, everything to make the morning as easy as possible.

My head had cleared enough that I was able to think straight… that’s half the battle.

I walked into the dining room in bare feet and stepped on the slimiest slug ever… I picked it up with kitchen roll and put it out the back, it was a bright green slime….. 🫣🥴 I then sat down to do Donna Ashworth’s journal and a giant spider jumped out beside me and I had to rescue that too….. I was taking it as a sign…. 🥴😆 And thankfully that was the last encounter of the not so nice kind.

This was the sky as I left for work.

It’s been sunny all day and I’ve actually been in a T-shirt since early on. That’s unheard of for me in our portacabin, I’m usually layered up! The front door was open most of the day.

Ellison and I sat out at lunch and it feels warm. It’s a high of 17°C today…. It’s been a while since we’ve had that and it’s sooooo lovely.

I went in early and stayed back to make up an hour for the Doctors on Thursday afternoon but on a whim decided to wash the car!

The first photo I took showed all the wheelie bins which was not so nice!

So I have to be honest, I’ve not felt 100% all day.

My stomach has been all over the place today. Gurgling a lot, I’ve been hiccuping and burping all day (love me an overshare!)…… a bit more activity than I’ve had even in the last few days. I guess it’s just going to take time for everything to settle down.

It ain’t settled just yet.

But I’m back and I feel a LOT less exhausted than I did before I went off sick.

I think the fresh food is helping clear my head but my stomach is in overwhelm right now.

Gripey… there’s a good word for it.

I have a lovely Salmon Tray Bake on the go for dinner. From Healthy Living James.

I know, all a bit much for the first day maybe but hey… I’m appreciating the energy!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️

Another restful day in the house trying to get some strength back.

I woke with the alarm at 6.10am and text all the necessary people. I went back to sleep until 8am.

I got up and had breakfast again… Check me, 5 days in a row. I had coffee mid morning (DECAF!) and a lovely salad for lunch.

It’s 6.30pm and my head is finally clearing. I still feel really tired but I feel more awake, if that makes sense.

I spent the day on the couch or outside throwing balls for the dogs. I hung out some washing and then had to sit down for a rest. It just takes your body a bit to get moving again.

I stayed off social media and didn’t watch tv all day.

I’ve blood tests on Thursday but I’m popping vitamin supplements like they’re going out of fashion and really thinking about what I eat.

It doesn’t come that easily to me… but I’m trying.

There is a Mini Eggs Easter Egg talking to me from the kitchen. I’m not never going to eat it, I’m just trying to give myself the best chance just now.

I’ll miss my sidekicks.

Keek!

So onwards and upwards… back to work tomorrow. Lunch made. Clothes ready. All to give myself the best chance of least stress in the morning. Planning to the nth degree 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Isn’t it funny how the world is so much smaller now that I feel the need to say Mother’s Day UK as my title…. 😆 I know how much I panic when I see the worldwide Mother’s Day and think I’ve missed it!!

Our clocks went back last night so I woke at 6.30 which was actually 7.30am. We will do this for months now, won’t we?!

I’m nnot going to see Mum today. We cancelled yesterday as I hadn’t been well.

I have to be honest and say my poor, lovely Mum had to invite me in the first place. I’ve been so low in energy that I’d bought a card and a gift, weeks back, but I hadn’t finalised my plans to go through. I’d had a busy weekend planned and I knew I’d stress having to commit to the Sunday as well. It feels so very selfish. I had planned to get up early and go through for church, to surprise Mum, as I’ve done before, but I hadn’t committed it fully, even in my own head. I felt like the worst daughter when she asked me to come over. How awful after everything she does for me, to have to ask me to come. Maybe me just looking for another stick to hit myself with.

Truth is, I’ve been exhausted for weeks.

Running on empty.

I do what I have to do.

The bare minimum.

I have no drive or enthusiasm. I actually feel as zoned out as I did when I was on a high dose of Setroline antidepressants.

So one way or another I’m going to get to the bottom of this as I need to wake up and get my energy back.

Anyway back to Mother’s Day. I’ve said here before we were never able to have kids… for no real reason. We tried for a long time. I had 6 sessions of IUI which was incredibly hard alongside the most stressful job. Imagine leaving a meeting where you are being shouted and screamed at, to inject your tummy, in the toilets, bang on midday… with hindsight it was never going to happen. We made peace with that a long time ago.

Hence the millions of dogs we have collected 😆

Craig did a lovely post on Scottish Dog Behaviourist today. Click the link to see it. He is very good with words.

So back to my Mum. She puts up with everything and listens to it all. I’m really enjoying our mini adventures that we’ve been having over the last few years. Making lovely memories.

So here’s to many more of these. The smiles say it all.

Thinking of the lovely ladies in my life, who are no longer with us.

This is my lovely Nana. ♥️

And my lovely Gran. 💜

And my lovely mother in law, Helen.

She’ll kill me for this photo but I love it and it will always make me smile!!! Can you hear the sound of the sea in a glass?!?!

There are so many women in my life that have helped shape me. I am grateful for them all.

Thinking of everyone who is sad today… it’s a tough one to navigate for lots of reasons.

The sun is shining here. I’m alternating between sitting on the couch and going outside to throw balls for the dogs.

Craig is away with Calaidh and Khaleesi to see his Mum today. Rumour has it there may be a wee food parcel coming my way when he comes home.

I hope you’ve all had a lovely day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So back to dull sickness chat after all the anniversary excitement of yesterday.

I do t have much to say about my day. I woke with really bad acid reflux again this morning, despite being a good girl and eating 3 healthy meals yesterday.

Under doctor’s orders, nothing spicy, no fizzy drinks.

It’s so very strange for me to eat breakfast.

I had a lovely coffee as well. Decaf of course.

I went straight back up to bed and lay and read for a few hours. I had a nap for an hour over lunch time.

Mum and Dad FaceTimed to check up on me!

I got lots of love from the puppers but Bhruic was ready for me to get up.

I moved down into the sunroom and under my crochet blanket.

I still have no energy, I feel exhausted but am not sleeping much through the day, I am weak and dizzy and my stomach is just really off.

Kisses from Khaleesi this time.

And now Calaidh….. not a minutes peace 😆

We’re now on the 2nd season of Bridgerton.

I’m wrapped under my crochet blanket cuddling Calaidh.

I’m warm and cosy…

I still don’t really know what this is, but my body seems to need it, so I am listening.

I’m even making Freya yawn!! it’s like the dogs are taking turns to look after me.

I have to say that some of the dog selfies are pretty shocking, I’ve got skin hanging off my face in places I’ve never noticed it before….. 🫣

I have spent some of my time today ordering multivitamins and collagen. I’ve been drinking lots of water.

I need to look after myself more.

It is what it is.

Have a lovely Saturday night!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Will make this a quick one tonight so I’m not on my phone all evening.

Today is our 15th wedding anniversary which is crystal I believe.

I can’t believe that we have been married for 15 years, the last few years have just flown by.

Craig, the gift giver extraordinaire has excelled himself again….

He listened to the remit which is either, we’re not doing gifts, are we or if we are please don’t spend a fortune!

He really should start a business on how to prepare the most excellent gifts, the thought that he went into just actually totally shut me up for once.

He bought everything on Vinted, so didn’t spend an absolute fortune.

I am now the proud owner of a Pandora charm bracelet, with a charm for every year of our marriage….

BUT…. He didn’t just give me a bracelet….. I got the individual pieces wrapped up one by one with lovely words explaining what that anniversary meant…..

♥️

♥️

♥️

He bought the little blue pouches.

He bought stencils and gold pens so he could mark each pouch with the year. The first sunshine pouch is the actual bracelet.

He cut out individual business card sized inserts to explain the thought behind the year.

He bought little glue dots to attach the charm to the card and to keep the pouches shut.

He chose a charm for every single year we have been together.

How lovely is that?

How caring?

How thoughtful?

I am very lucky.

It makes for a very full bracelet. He says we can only be married for a max of 5-6 years more as there’s no more space in it. He even said I don’t have to wear it every day as it’s more of a memento.

I love it.

I’m wearing it!

Think he’s a keeper?!?

You know I can’t let you all believe it’s always hearts and flowers, because you know it’s not.

Marriage is difficult and you have to work at it… sometimes you have to work at it every single day.

We’ve worked through our fair share of stuff but we are still here working on it together.

He will always win at gifts. 😆

(I got him our wedding whisky Old Pultney. Yes, that is all.)

Thanks to everyone for our anniversary wishes.

Just getting a takeaway tonight as I’m still not feeling great but I’m wearing my lovely bracelet!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I woke at 4am with really bad acid reflux.

I could feel it lying in my throat and as I rolled over it swirled around. 🤮

I got up for a bit and drank some water in the hope that would help, but it’s been there all day.

I went back to bed and got up about 11.30am but I didn’t sleep again despite being so tired.

I called the doctor as I started to think that I may need to go back on anti depressants as I’ve been so low and tearful.

I can’t seem to shake this.

I have built a life for myself that controls all my anxieties and has eliminated stress as much as possible.

I have very little stress in my life now… compared to life before depression.

I don’t drink.

I avoid caffeine.

I run over 5k twice a week.

I fast every single day to control my weight.

So the doctor’s appointment is made and I start looking into how I can create my own serotonin.

I feel like I’ve been down for a large part of this year… I feel like such a failure as it says to me, that I can’t cope with my stress free, new controlled life either.

I am the first person to recommend antidepressants to everyone. I just know that this is different.

So by chance the Crochet Hookers had been talking about breakfasts last night and started sharing some food chat on our Hooker WhatsApp….. it got me thinking….

90-95% of our seratonin comes from our gut.

My gut is subjected to anywhere between 16-20 hours of fasting a day (I love it!!!) but when I’m tired, the eating window is taken up with fairly fast food.

I love, love, love, love, love fasting.

But, after 16-20 hours I fill my stomach with ultra processed, starchy carbohydrates and my stomach acid goes nuts. Hence the acid reflux.

I also get zero nutrition.

Is it possible that I have no energy at all because I’m not giving myself enough?!?!

By the time the doctor calls, I have self diagnosed. 🫣😆

I’ve got an appointment for bloods next Thursday, I’ve to stop fasting and to try and go back to 3 meals a day.

I have never been a fan of breakfast.

But I will try.

She did also say that it could be down to menopause or a viral infection but she didn’t like the sound of my fasting and junk food diet.

I have had another very lazy, or restful day. I haven’t slept at all but I have tried to eat cleaner.

Claire sent me in some lovely soup.

She’s been trying to encourage me to meal plan for years, bless her.

It just doesn’t interest me or excite me but, if I have to try it to improve my current state of mind, then I will give it my best shot.

I also had counselling with Better Help at 4pm.

I was going to cancel but this is one of the sessions I had paid for in advance. I’m not sure I’m getting much out of it this time. It’s still good to talk.

I made some oat milk in my oat milk making machine 😆 and then some overnight chia puddings… just using up stuff in the house.

I still feel totally shattered but I had to make the effort. This will do me for breakfast for the next few days. Though I will need to get some protein as well.

I had some for my dinner as everything else I have is processed.

I feel like I make everything quite hard work.

I feel like others sail through life while I’ve got to control so much to keep me feeling well (jeez the stomach acid took a jump there!)

It is what it is.

I need to make peace with that.

I either bore the pants off you all or keep you entertained and relieved that your life doesn’t seem to be as hard.

I’ve said it before but I maybe really need to just calm the F down. 🙊

We’ve just had the heaviest rain shower…. The garden flooded really quickly.

I’m also having a Bhruic keeping the ball from Calaidh evening 😆 she’s such a cheeky pup.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’m ok but I’ve been off work sick today.

I woke with a dodgy tum again, really sore head and the sores in the roof of my mouth are painful.

I am dog tired.

There’s a laugh, I have been surrounded by dogs all day.

I still feel completely exhausted and I’ve been in bed for hours.

Check Khaleesi’s face, she’s disgusted at the Border Collie rabble 😆 (I am still under there!)

It’s really nice how they do try and cuddle in when you’re sick.

I got up at 2.30 and went out into the garden with the dogs to get some fresh air.

I’ve moved to the couch but I’m still half asleep. So, so tired.

I’ve cancelled the Crochet Hookers tonight so I don’t pass anything on.

So that’s all for today.

My sentries are still keeping guard.

Some of them are asleep on the job.

I will be soon too.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

What an amazing sleep last night.

10pm…. Late for me… right through until 5.55am.

Literally opened my eyes wondering where I was!!

I felt quite refreshed and seem to have cast off the sluggish shroud I’ve been carrying.

Up, showered, Donna Ashworth Words to Live By journalling….. and then all of a sudden, trampled by a herd of wildebeest let out of their room….. 😆😆😆 ok I exaggerate but 4 very excited puppers can create some pace!

It was a busy day again at work.

Things have changed a fair bit at work and we’re now building our own vans for sale. The first one sold today so that was good news.

I’d also been selling off old parts on eBay and I sold 2 things today too. one day I’ll clear the shelves of everything we no longer need!

The only negative was lack of WiFi, it’s been off all week, funny off the back of having no internet in the house last week. So I’ve been trying to work from a personal hotspot that keeps being kicked out when WiFi tries to kick back in. I think I did every job 2 or 3 times today!!

Ellison and I sat out at lunch and had the loveliest homemade cheesecake that one of the guys brought in. Sooo good.

By the afternoon I was back to exhausted and feeling really low. My bones ache and even bread hurts the sores in my mouth.

Claire, next door, very kindly offered to cook me dinner in case I was eating ice cream again, how lovely is that?! I was a good girl though and I’d had a roll with ham and cheese.

Anyway, still feeling rough.

No reason behind it, nothing I’m not saying. Nothing I’m not admitting to myself.

Just need some new batteries and I’ll be right as rain.

I’ve had a lemsip and I’m off to watch Bridgerton on Netflix, because it makes me smile and bed at 8.

Life in the fast lane!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

We had a really busy day at work today and the sun shone until about 4pm… just in time for finishing work.

So.

I find it really hard to write the blog when I feel a bit low. Yet I always promised I’d be honest.

I’ve not been the best version of myself this last wee while.

Again as I woke, I knew I didn’t feel great. I’ve had a dodgy stomach and felt really queasy all morning.

Thankfully the queasiness passed and I had ice cream for dinner. That helped a bit but I still don’t feel right.

I’m just so tired and sad just now. For no reason. There is no big bad thing I’m hiding.

I turn every negative into a positive.

I’m empathetic to others.

I’m working on the Let Them theory.

I’m a completely different person from the one who went off sick with anxiety and depression all those years ago, and still I have times where I can’t lift my mood.

I’m 52 and going through menopause and honestly it could just be that. Hormone fluctuations.

Whatever it is, I don’t like it.

This deep seated exhaustion or fog that I can’t think through. At times I feel that all I want to focus on is sleep.

Isn’t this next one lovely.

I’ve been through a lot worse and survived 100% of my days so far.

Just one of these days….

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t feel great as soon as I opened my eyes this morning.

I’d had a straight 8/9 hour sleep and woke up feeling exhausted.

I can’t think straight.

My head feels full of cotton wool.

It feels like nothing else matters except rest.

I feel so bad because Craig is so busy with work right now I feel like I should be more alert.

It’s ridiculous but I’m so tired. I’ve actually taken to dictating this through voice notes. Who knew that was a thing?!? I suppose smiling at that!

The dogs were great this morning and let us sleep and it was about 830 before I got up.

I came downstairs, let them outside and started to build a fire in the wood burner. I got the coffee on. I had the room all cosy for Craig getting up.

We have coffee and lots of puppy cuddles. All 4 of them get a check to come up and sit in between us.

Calaidh is particularly happy about her turn 😆

There are lots of tennis balls 🎾 and then the fun ends when Bhruic steals the ball that Calaidh wants.

It’s under Bhru’s chin… don’t let her little sweetness and light look fool you.

Meanwhile Calaidh is sitting on Khaleesi as she gives Bhru the death stare.

I didn’t move until 10.45 when I started the dog walks.

I listened to the sound of the birds. I watch the single deer 🦌 try to decide which way to go, to get away from us.

It’s cloudy and overcast but it’s a lovely morning. Very peaceful.

I’m really sorry that I feel like I’m moaning all the time these days. There is no real reason for it, there is nothing particularly bad happening.

I just can’t seem to be content.

Speaking of tents…. See what I did there?!

We have a small 4 man tent that we keep as a spare that I’d like to use it to go away camping…. It’s got a broken zip so I thought I’d escape my head and go and fix it.

I get the tent up in the back garden and I fix the zip…. It takes some time but I get it back on the runners.

I am so pleased.

It’s not running perfectly so I get the zip wax.

I wax the zip.

I go for the pliers to tighten the actual zip head.

There’s a satisfying SNIP.

I didn’t want a satisfying snip.

My pliers are snips.

It sliced through the zip.

Right in the middle.

And it gets so much worse.

It was the outside zip that was broken.

I snipped the inside zip.

That was the one that still worked.

I cried for our lovely tent.

Never try to fix a tent zip when your heads not the best.

Follow me for more great advice.

I stuff the tent back in the bag.

And sat down to face Donna Ashworth’s question today…. 5 ways in which you are beautiful written from the point of view of your fiercest admirer. I’d run a mile when I saw it this morning.

I opened up Donna’s book To The Women, at this page.

I put Spotify on, got my pen ready and James blunt belted out You’re Beautiful.

Wonderful synchronicity.

We have to take the small moments. The small wins, the small joys.

They all build up into something bigger and one day sadness will be gone.

Thanks for getting this far…

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s 3.23pm and it’s actually been a surprisingly nice day. the forecast was for rain all day.

I woke just before 6am and it had rained overnight. It was raining on and off.

Rachel, Caryn and I ran at 8am. It was pouring just before we went out but, we were so lucky that we hardly had any rain while we rain.

It was actually the perfect weather for a run. Misty and cloudy with the odd, cool shower.

We ran 6.4kms this morning and it felt really good. It was Caryn’s first run back after having a baby and she did so well…. I was breathing way harder than she was!

It’s the first run in a T-shirt for a long time.

Back home and straight out with Calaidh and Khaleesi, with Rachel and Nacho. Forgot to take photos.

Then I picked up the other 2 Borders and walked all 3 of them. Calaidh getting a second walk again!

So, not gonna lie, I am tired….. hardly surprising after all that exertion. I’d planned to gut the house today but actually only did the sunroom, kitchen and dining room before I went for a shower. It’s always strange washing shorter hair for the first time. My wet hair used to be 5 hands lengths and now it’s only 2!

I have sat on the couch in the sunroom and watched Running Point on Netflix.

I’ve crocheted while I watched and had a really lovely, quiet afternoon.

I’m so tired just now and I don’t really know why.

Donna Ashworth’s question today was to write about something that was not sitting right with us. I’ve not done anything on Her Travel Circle recently and it’s really bothering me…. Just not enough to actually do anything just yet. I posted this on Donna’s post this morning and got so many lovely comments from women telling me it was ok. It’s just not the right time and it will come. It’s such a supportive group.

I’m so grateful to be able to have the time to sit and relax. I feel like I do it a lot just now but it really is my favourite thing to do.

I try so hard to be upbeat and positive as that’s the message I want to share….. but tonight I’m sharing that allowed myself to do nothing and to relax…. Yes, again…. I have switched off and zoned out and had a lovely day.

Happy Saturday night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t feel particularly rested after last nights’ sleep. I woke with a clenched jaw and still a bit irritable.

It’s really hard when you do everything you can to not feel like this but some days it’s hard.

I’m finding I have a few days a month where everything irritates me. I am on a very short fuse but I’m trying very hard to be aware of it and trying not to snap. When I feel overwhelmed.

That doesn’t mean there’s anything bad happening just that I am way more irritated than usual.

I was straight out on the dog walks by 8am. It’s much milder but still a cold breeze. It’s good to be out in the fresh air.

I take Calaidh, Bhru and Freya up the hill first and give them a good run around. I forgot to take my phone so there are no photos!

2nd walk with Khaleesi and I take Calaidh with me again.

Khaleesi sniffing the daffies.

The sun has finally made an appearance.

She’s stopped to take photos again…..

I love this tree with the wee gap for cows to come and say hello.

I love this row of daffodils. They are there every year. So pretty and always my first real sign of spring.

Never work with animals!!!

Calaidh always knows how to pose like a lady.

The deck is covered in leaves and twigs again so I swept it all, I forgot to take an after photo but I enjoyed being out in the garden.

I also repotted a house plant. The root bed was soooo dense I broke the pot trying to get it out.

It was bloody hard work.

Then across the road to the hairdressers…. Got to love village life when your hairdresser is directly over the street from you. Before and after shots.

I didn’t get it coloured but it looks completely different! The blond ends are all gone.

I’m so pleased with it. It will be so much easier to manage in the summer.

So I was just about to leave for a wee afternoon in Largs, when Craig came home between jobs and I marched him out to Mocha JaK’s for lunch. (Again! Second Friday in a row…. 🥴😬)

Needless to say, we won’t be having dinner tonight!

When I got back I helped my neighbour, Kenny, plant onions… as you do! He’s giving me a bed to plant some of my own as we can’t really grow onions in the garden as they are toxic to dogs.

I thought I’d do a Spot the Collie on this next photo taken from the sunroom window!!

Freya loves to be outside, keeping her eye on everything. 😆

I also planted my Valentine’s Day Irish Oak tree today. Not looking very exciting for now but it’s a start….. 😆

So here’s the answer to Spot the Collie!!

So yeah, that’s my day today.

I’ve been ok, I still feel very tired and drained but hey, I have the fire on and candles lit and will search for something on the tv now that we finally have internet! Though my book might just do me. 😆

Have a lovely Friday evening!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So much to talk about today.

First of all I have always thought that 20th March 2020 was the night that the Scottish Government announced that all pubs, restaurants etc were to close for a COVID-19 lockdown.

I may be a few days out, as I looked it up and goggle suggests that lockdown started on 24th March 2020…. But either way, can any of you believe that was 5 years ago?!?

Our lives changed completely and most of us stayed home.

I had already been home since then end of June 2019.

Off sick for the 2nd time with anxiety and depression. The rest of the world just joined my new stay at home life.

I am hoping that we get similar weather this year as we were so lucky with the weather in lockdown.

It was lockdown that triggered my blog.

The first one was published under Overland and Borders, which was our overlanding instagram name…. I think the first 145 or so blogs came out before I changed to The Rambling Sloth. I can’t find the first ever one. I can’t believe I’ve been rambling since then!!

Anyway I digress, spring equinox really gave us some lovely warmth today.

The day when the light is the same length of time as the dark.

From tomorrow the light takes over!

Ellison and I sat out at lunch AND had to take hoodies off…. It was that warm.

Too warm for the fleece trousers and fur lined boots!

I went to the shops after work and was so hot!!

I should make it clear that I am not complaining. It was lovely to feel a bit of warmth.

So for International Day of Happiness I thought this was very appropriate.

Donna Ashworth asked us all about sadness in her journal today. She said we have to allow sadness in, to allow it to pass to make way for happiness.

I am not good with letting sadness in…. I resist it every step of the way until I’m exhausted. I would like to learn to accept that it’s there, listen to what it’s telling me and to let it move on when it’s ready.

I downloaded Mel Robbins The Let Them Theory today.

I joined Audible for 99p a month for the next 3 months and I just have to remember to cancel my subscription before it jumps to £7.99. I’m on chapter 3 already. I like listening to a self help book!

And finally that reminds me….. a word to the wise on Better Help Therapy.

I was so impressed with the process when I joined. Impressed with the thorough and detailed questionnaires to get you started.

I did say that there was no mention of the time that I was available for counselling and that the therapist who is allocated to me can only see me once or twice a week if I’m lucky enough to be able to get an appointment with her.

I’ve had 3 sessions so far and thought I’d hold off for a bit and see how I get on…… I just realised today that I must have signed up to a weekly subscription and the onus is on me to make sure I get an appointment in that time. I honestly had no idea.

I can change therapist at any time but since the timing of appointments is not part of the questioning, I’ll be lucky to find someone who does evenings.

They have just replied to say they have extended my credit to allow me to book two further sessions. With hindsight, I’d prefer a refund but the money has gone now and it might do me good.

You live and learn.

It’s been so lovely to feel a bit of warmth today. To shed the crochet blanket I’ve been hiding under for the last few weeks. It’s another lovely day tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to that AND haircut!!

Hope you all have a lovely Thursday night.

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️