I often start momentous number blogs by saying whoād a thunk it?
When I first started writing a blog at the end of March 2020, I had no idea how much of an addiction it would become.
In fact maybe I wouldnāt have managed my 2,462 days of not drinking if I hadnāt filled the gap with the blog.

I feel called to write this and I have no idea why Iām so driven to do it.
I always felt that people posted the best of their lives all over FB and that annoyed me when I knew their lives werenāt always rosyā¦. I wanted to be real. I wanted to let people know it was ok not to be ok. I wanted to share my struggles with mental health as on the outside we look like we have everything but I was struggling with everyday life. I need people to know that. Weird eh?!?
I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading. thank you for your support on the days when things are hard.
2,000 days is a commitment and anyone whoās still reading is just as committed as me!
I am a different person this year since I made the difficult decision to go back on antidepressants. It was only difficult as it felt like a step backwards to meā¦. And yet itās such a relief.
Every day I see myself responding differently and I feel so proud of my reactions.
When you live with anxiety, you believe everything is your fault.
My boss had left a list of transactions that had been wrongly coded in our accounting system.
The anxious me would have hit the roof at that list, panicked that he was angry with me, Iād be so devastated that Iād let him down, maybe made a mistake, how could I do it differently in future? My heart rate would sky rocket.
The new me looked at the list and thought, oopsie, (yup that word again!) I had no idea it should have been coded like that, right letās get on with it and enjoyed working through it ticking it off! I smiled through my new reaction.
Not everything is my fault. I donāt let people down. Iām good at what I do but Iām human and I donāt know all the answers and I donāt get everything right. I do my best.
So today should be a celebration of 2,000!days unfortunately itās been a really worrying day as Khaleesi is really ill and is in the vet overnight tonight.
She was really listless when we got home from holiday.
Sunday morning she didnāt bark and bounce about like Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout, or Tiggerā¦. She was really listless all day. She kept coughing.
Sunday overnight she was pretty violently sick but she brightened after that until she ate some more and was really lethargic again.
Craig almost had to carry her into the vet today.
She has a low temperature which is really serious for a dog and a sore abdomen.
Todayās X-rays havenāt revealed any masses in her organs although there are shadows on both lungs.
Sheās on an IV which perked her up a bit.
The vet reckons she has a 50/50 chance of responding to treatment overnight but they will call us if she gets any worse.
This is life.
A wonderful holiday is followed by a huge bill from the garage and a seriously ill dog.
We have to ride this rollercoaster and manage all that life throws at us and Iām proud to say that I know Iām responding more calmly than I would have.
Weāre so worried about her being on her own overnight but if she improves then we will get some more time with her and that will make it all worthwhile.
Please send her all your love and strength. These two are a very strong team.

Stay safe everyone ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø

















































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































