Day 1900 wow!

I can never quite believe how long I’ve been writing this when a milestone day hits.

It’s nearly 7pm and I haven’t even thought about today’s blog yet 😆

I have thought about it in the last few days though…..

On a significant number day I always did a recap of how many days I was living my life without alcohol, antidepressants and fasting to maintain my weight.

In this last 6 weeks so much of that has changed….

I had a really bad start to the year. My mental health declined. I was working so hard at trying to be the best version of myself that I was exhausted…. And it didn’t seem to be working anymore.

I was in tears almost all the time.

If I wasn’t crying I was fighting the tears.

I felt like I had failed.

I was so disappointed in myself.

Why can’t I just be “normal” and hold it together?!?

I had to face reality back in mid May and realise that I needed a bit of help to lift my mood again.

Back onto anti depressants on 14th May and I’d stopped fasting the week before that as I was suffering from bad indigestion caused by fasting for too long.

Hmmmmmm….. but we live another day to tell the tale.

So now the only growing stat I have is that I have been 2,362 days without alcohol.

That’s is one of the hardest things I have ever done and yet probably the biggest gift I have given myself. I’ve freed myself from constantly thinking where the next glass of wine will come from.

I have so much more time in my days now…. I guess I fill it by writing this blog… right over the time I would have started pouring myself a drink.

So all change for me this year but I have to believe it’s for the best and it will help get me back to where I was.

I can feel them kicking in now.

There are times when I know I would have been angry and I am not.

I’ve only cried once since I started taking them.

Craig has been (forgive the phrase!) head down arse up 🙊 working in the background on Her Travel Circle and we are currently live testing the system…. Which is very exciting.

He’s worked so hard that soon it will be my turn. Soon we will be looking for people to join. Marketing, advertising, drumming up support and that’s where I come in.

If you don’t follow already have a look Her Travel Circle on FB or instagram. We will have a website and a system to go live just after testing.

Maybe I need the tablets to give me the strength to manage this.

I believe in it 100% but I would have just second guessed everything the state I was in.

Times are changing.

Incidentally, as an aside, I lost my work phone on Wednesday before I left work… couldn’t find it anywhere….. a customer had just unwrapped it in a porta potti jacket I rushed to post just before I left!!!

🤦🏻‍♀️

So who knows what the next 1900 days will bring!

Watch this space.

I’ve had a lovely day today.

A long sleep and I woke at 7.15am…. I got up to let the dogs out and fed them. I went back to bed until 9.20.

The forecast was for rain and wind today so I decided just to take the dogs out in it and prepare to get soaked.

I was out for two dog walks and the sun came out…. The heavens opened once I was home and in the shower….. sooooo lucky!!

So some photos…. As you would expect.

A spooky tree always makes me think of our friend Carole. She loved a spooky tree.

The sky is so heavy….

After the hot sunshine, every looks very green and overgrown.

Bhru checking to see what’s over the wall.

The stones that Calaidh is standing on say “treat everyone you meet as if they may be a friend” 🫶🏼

Gielsand House looking very spooky.

And finally off lead for a run around.

The weeds have been cleared from the side of the path making it much wider than it was.

Birdie!

Birdie in action 😆

I then took Khaleesi and Calaidh into the freshly cut field, over from the house.

Khaleesi was in her element finding the burn.

Cutie Calaidh.

So back home, shower, torrential rain, lunch and Her Travel Circle most of the afternoon.

I’m writing posts on the places I have been as information for others. They’ll be in the package when we launch it.

Craig honestly hasn’t stopped for the last few weeks and has literally had a half day off a week. He must be shattered and I can’t thank him enough for all that he is doing.

I can’t think of anything else on my 1900th day other than to thank everyone who follows my ramblings. Those who read every day to those who dip in and out to those who only see it occasionally. Your interactions mean more than you may know. From friend and family to those new friends who I have never met. 🫶🏼

Thank you for any interaction we’ve had.

I write this for my own sanity but I also write it in the hope that anyone reading, having a rough day, doesn’t feel alone.

As Ronan says, “life is a roller coaster, just gotta ride it”.

Oh and did I mention I just had THE best to nights away over summer solstice?!?!?!? 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️