14/05/2025 – The Rambling Sloth 🦥

I work at 22.38 and 2.07 last night and was out for the count when the 5.15 alarm went off.

That’s two nights I haven’t slept that well. Go quote Katy Perry kinda…. It was hot then it was cold 😆 (basically she used hot and cold in one song…. This doesn’t even come close to quoting her!)

I didn’t feel full of the joys of spring as a result, but it’s safe to say, that’s become my new norm just now.

I got ready to run with the girls, stepped out the door at 5.45 and started to cry.

I knew right then, in that moment, that I had to take the Setraline anti- depressant today.

My neighbour Holly brought soup in last night and I’d cried all over her.

Any sign of kindness and I’m crying.

This cannot go on.

The tears flowed as we ran and I listened to the girls and tried to gather my thoughts.

If it makes me unwell in the short term, I’ll have to manage it.

If I can’t go away this weekend then so be it.

I have to put my health first.

From all the lovely comments I have received today, one thing sticks out.

Acceptance. (Thanks to Mum for that one!)

I have been unwilling to accept that I need to take an antidepressant to feel better.

I have worked so very hard on my mental health, it’s almost become a full time job.

It’s not easy not to drink alcohol in a world where it’s everywhere.

Taking supplements, getting up at the crack of dawn to go running, eating healthy 3 meals a day…. No caffeine (yeah ok I’ve slipped up on that one a few times!)

I avoid the news completely.

I try to stay away from toxic people.

I surround myself with people who are good for my soul.

Ok you get the gist.

I work very hard to make myself ok.

And yet I have to accept that it’s not enough and I need help to get me back up.

Done.

It’s that easy really.

All the mental anguish and you literally pop a pill in your mouth and that’s it….. I’m “on” an antidepressant.

Anyway, all that aside we had a lovely run. 5.28 kms and as you can see from the below…. I found it HARD.

AND… I didn’t get the memo. 💕💕

I’ve not felt great today.

I have the driest mouth but I’ve drank loads as a result. My stomach is churning and I feel really squeamish but I made the right decision. The first week might not be the best but it will be worth it in the long run. I hope.

So a lovely end to the day…. I headed back to the beach at Seamill, West Kilbride.

Wow.

It was very cold in the sea so I only got in to bum level and back out 😆

I have loads of photos obviously!