First things first, our super pup Khaleesi is doing great. She slept really well and you would never know she had stitches in her tummy.

She just takes these things in her stride.

I could learn a thing or two from that girl.

I woke at 5.30 and then snoozed until about 7.30am.

I woke up with the fear.

I have no idea why.

Anxiety churning in my stomach. Bubbling away.

I started to catastrophize… so many things running through my head….. bad things that might happen.

Like I say I don’t know where it came from but I don’t like it.

I had another lovely dog walk this morning. Out in the fresh air, breathing it all in.

Freya.

Calaidh.

Bhruic.

It was so clear I could see 40 miles to Ailsa Craig.

I could see 35 miles to the top of Goat Fell on the Isle of Arran.

Gayle picked me up and we had a lovely wee trip to Braehead Shopping Centre.

We had a lovely lunch in M&S. Ham and Slaw sandwiches which were so tasty…. I wonder when coleslaw became slaw but it sounds way more cool….. and maybe a brownie and a coconut milk latte. 😆

I got a lovely sunhat. it’s so not my thing but I really liked it.

I also got a sweatshirt….. I’ve been there and was born then!

We had lots of good chats and a lovely wee trip!

So….. do I finish there or do I just share what’s really in my head….. I find the blog really hard on days I want to say things but I cringe at saying them.

I shared this morning on FB that I don’t have to have everything all figured out and I just need to breathe….. but I find that part really hard.

There haven’t been that many days of this year that I have felt at peace. I’ve spent so many of them with a very jumbled head. That feeling that something is wrong or something isn’t right. (same thing I know!)

I’m so tired of feeling so low.

I take everything personally and build things up into way bigger than they actually are.

I try to use the Let Them Theory but on the down days my negative head wins.

It’s like my head wants to dramatise everything…. To give me something to beat myself up with.

I’m now wondering the whole point of my blog, what life would look like if I reduced the posts or stopped posting.

Maybe I just need a break of being in my own head too much.

Maybe this is just menopause or maybe I’m a bit depressed again.

Who knows.

Maybe a wee break would do me good.

Maybe I’d miss it.

FB have stopped recommending my page again . I was sad about that but wondering what difference it actually makes. I’m not sure I want to have thousands of followers. After 5 years of writing I have 608. I can work on a post for an hour or sometimes two and get 8 likes…. And yes it shouldn’t be about that but when you have a negative head, sometimes it’s hard to ignore.

I’m already on my phone a lot. Saving things to share or writing.

I spend a lot of time on it and for what? Why? What is the meaning of life (😆😆 I chucked that in to lighten the mood)

I love helping other people, I love the connection, I love chatting with people online who become friends.

I feel there is some kind of passion there to follow but I can’t see what it is.

This is not a pity party…. Well it is in my head!Just me sharing from my overactive mind.

I need to breathe.

Again.

I don’t have to have all this figured out.

I need to find some way of making peace with my head.

Whatever it takes.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

The sun shone for us and will do for a lot of this week.

I love May, it’s my favourite month so I’m making a pact with myself to do whatever I can to fix this slump, and enjoy the month.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️