What a storm to wake up to….

There are days when 61mph winds would have freaked us out, but after that storm at the end of January, we’re a lot more laid back.

Craig had secured the fence through the week when it was windy so we have to hope the broken panels continue to hold.

I was a bit nervous driving past an all the fallen trees on my diversion to work! I just hope the ones round about them stay where they are!!

I had a lovely wee catch up with Gayle in the little gift shop last night. I did feel particularly exhausted and sad… no slight on Gayle at all, obviously!!

So I was in Tartan today….. buffeted about by a few really strong gusts and torrential rain all day.

When I woke this morning I feel really drained. Like everything is a huge effort and I just want to sleep.

I googled my increase in HRT… I have NO idea why I hadn’t thought to do that before now.

Far too quick to blame myself for being a bad person….. sometimes my inner critic relishes in the wallow of self loathing…. Gosh there’s a statement and a half!! Sometimes these words just pour out of me and I’ve no idea where they come from. Love that.

I mean I can live without the migraines and the acne, which are yet to appear… but this ticks all the boxes.

I feel as tired as I did when I was on a high dose of Setraline antidepressants. Everything is a struggle. I’m so teary and could just cry at anything. I just feel so damn sorry for myself.

But I have a google diagnosis. 🥴😆

I had a call with the Doctor to discuss and we agree to reduce the oestrogen, which, in turn allows me to decrease the progesterone.

I could carry on with this dosage in the hope it settles but it’s not sustainable. I’m not going back to the girl who cried at everything and is so drugged up she can hardly move off the couch.

So…. Start of the next chapter. Will change down to the smaller patches and only take 1 progesterone pill, instead of 2.

I’m sorry I’ve been a moaning Minnie to anyone who will listen and even those who didn’t want to!! At least you all know when I’m hurting, no chance of missing that……

I have zero plans for the weekend. I’m going to get ready for Rome and Florence but I also plan to chill out and relax and have some extra sleep until this passes.

I forgot to say on Wednesday night, these are all the crochet blankets that my friend Evelyn is giving to the maternity hospital. I have made all the small ones since Christmas.

This big one is a mishmash of wool and I started it in Covid.

Hope they all get to a good home!!

I’ve just told the running girls that I need the morning off for the first time ever and it made me cry…. This can’t go on.

So a whole weekend to rest and recuperate.

It’s 4pm and I finally have a smile as I’m in clean, favourite jammies.

Rock and roll weekend for me!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️