I don’t know what’s got into me today but I am speaking my truth, left, right and centre today and it feels so good to be free of things that have been causing me anxiety and stress for a while now.

Today I said everything that’s been holding me back and I said it calmly, clearly and if I’m honest, with concern and understanding.

I hear myself just now and sound like I’m trying to be some big zen guru that I am absolutely not… 🥴😆

The terrified, crying version of Julie was nowhere to be seen today. Just the calm, in control with a zest for life version.

It feels so good to have confidence and say what you really mean rather than bottling it up and letting it boil over inside.

It makes everything better. It gives you more understanding of the situation, more empathy, everything is clearer. I feel about 5 stone lighter. (I should add here I am not 5 stone lighter or anywhere close to it but that’s another matter!!)

I slept really well.

All of my joint pain is away apart from my index finger.😆

I’ve had a really good day.

I feel very level headed and in control of my emotions, which is a welcome change from the bad days I’ve had in January.

I feel at peace.

There’s nothing else for it after a good day but to get the comfies on and put my feet up.

The sky was lovely tonight.

The stars are out in force again too. Always look up!

I have some actual plans this weekend. I’m getting out and about tomorrow for the first time since we got back from Iceland in early December.

I’ve really enjoyed a relaxing January but I’m looking forward to a wee train trip.

Right now this is my home for the evening, surrounding by puppers.

Check the camouflage Khaleesi on the couch!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I slept like a log and woke just before my 5.25am alarm.

I was so sore before bed last night. I had paracetamol and ibuprofen before bed.

It would have been so easy to stay home and not run with the girls this morning. Instead, I got out of bed, got changed and did some stretches before heading out at 5.45am.

I don’t think I’m pushing myself to do something I shouldn’t…. I’m proud that I’m pushing past something that I could so easily use as an excuse.

I was heavy and slow this morning. It’s funny how I was faster than I was at the start of my running career and I think not was slow.

I felt like I was dragging a car behind me.

I felt like a hippo next to the two gazelles…. And yet I kept going. I look as heavy as I feel in this photo.

I was so proud of myself when it was over…. 5.43kms done before 6.30am! the sky was lovely and clear, we could see Mars as we ran.

Back home, showered, upside down quick hair dry and off to work.

I didn’t enjoy today quite as much as yesterday but I got lots of stock up for sale! It’s not as much fun as tidying out. 😆 the photos aren’t the best either!

Ellison and I sat outside again at lunchtime today. It was lovely again. It’s so lovely to feel the sun in January.

Would you believe I managed a wee poem when I got in to work this morning. A lady suggested I write about not being able to write a poem and it flowed right out of me.

Now it’s nothing to shout about… but I’ll give you a laugh.

She sits in an empty but messy office

Trying to write a poem

But nothing is coming to mind

Trying as hard as she can

Then the eureka moment

Maybe she should stop “trying”

Stop “trying” and just let it be

Maybe she needs that life lesson

Maybe I just need to be ME

It makes me smile…. Maybe I’m laughing at it but it was funny, I literally wrote it in seconds!!

It was lovely on the way home too, the sky was so clear and it was still so light.

I decided to have the night off crochet tonight and I’ve ended up taking ages to write the blog. I’ve actually been in a lot less pain today too which is great. Still lots of water and mindful eating. Oh and I seem to have lost 4lbs since Monday!!

I have the candles lit and the twinkly lights on. Of course I’m in my jammies and I have my feet up.

I needed this tonight.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I am so sore tonight.

My fingers ache…. 😆

But I did not sit down (apart from lunch) until 3pm.

I had a great day at work!

Morning from Coffee & Quotes!

We had a bit of wind and water damage due to our new hole in the roof, caused by Storm Éowyn.

I spent the day through in Upholstery, with Ellison, and sorted through all our rolls of material, tidied it up, reorganised it, saved some bits for selling, identified some rolls for selling and honestly, had THE best time doing it all!

You know me, I love a good clear out!

I love a good bit of organisation.

My head was buzzing…. I was on a roll. (Pun intended!)

We sat outside for lunch today as it was so lovely and calm… on 28th January, who’d a thunk it as my Gran would say?! I didn’t even have my big hoodie on…. That’s what a day “on the tools” does to you…. Keeps you warm 😆😆

In the afternoon I headed up to our mezz floor…. Or stock room…. Or general dumping ground. 😆

It’s hard trying to move stuff around when there is literally no space in the room but I’m really chuffed with what I actually did.

I had to sit down at 3pm as I felt all shaky and lightheaded.

I have got lots of things to sell and I’m excited to see how much I can make. Think I’ll put it up for sale on FB marketplace to see how it goes.

Failing that it goes in the bin 😆

So yeah, I’m aching like an achy thing. I’m running at 5.45am tomorrow so hope that will loosen me all back up again.

I’ve taken double magnesium and tumeric tonight, in the hope that helps.

I have been drinking lots of water and eating mindfully, so I feel a lot less bloated which is good.

Donna Ashworth’s Words to Live By activity was to write a poem today…. I had nothing. 😆

My head is quite happy rambling away here but the moment it hears the word “poem” it clams up.

I’m going to push that one to the weekend and be hopefully be more creative by then. Not beating myself up about it.

Really…. 🙊

It was lovely when I left work. All calm and peaceful. It’s so welcome after the crazy wind at the weekend.

It’s also almost light by the time I get to work and still light when I leave. That makes all the difference!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

There was really no evidence of the storm on my drive to work this morning.

Apart from a couple of trees down, around the corner from the house, everything seems to have survived surprisingly well.

I think I drove through a village without any lights so they must still be waiting for power.

We have a piece of capping missing off the roof in work. The blue is sky.

So back to reality today as if none of it ever happened.

More importantly I am able to come back to work with clean hair. 😆

I don’t feel great within myself today.

Similar to yesterday, I have a stiff neck, tight shoulders, arms and wrists and a pain in my leg. I’ve also got a pain in right side and my back.

None of this is agony, it’s all just twinges and aches….. that sometimes make me stop and draw breath.

I’ve also been feeling really bloated which is something that fasting has eradicated from my life. I feel like I have bad water retention. I stepped on the scales and I’ve put on 9lbs since I last weighed myself!!!!!

Now I could point a finger at a few things here.

• 1. I started eating meat again around Christmas. Not some big hurrah, just no longer turning my nose up at it.
• 2. I am inhaling junk when I’m not fasting and I’m not actually savouring or enjoying any of it.
• 3. I’ve been pretty sedentary the last few weekends apart from my runs and slow dog walks.
• 4. I ramped up the oestrogen part of my HRT about 2 weeks ago which could result in fat being stored 🥴😳 this I did not look into. 😆
• 5. I’ve not been drinking as much water as it makes me so cold in the office! Dehydration usually makes my tendons stiffen up.

So I’m not right and my body is screaming that something needs to change.

I’m just not sure what.

I love this from Sweatpants and Coffee.

This used to send me into a spiral of action. A panic trying to figure out which part of this caused the pain and the weight gain. It’s likely a combination of all of it.

So today I am drinking warm water this morning to try to rehydrate a bit. That is a start.

Today I am also running to the loo… a lot!

I also had a salad for lunch that wasn’t full of cheese and olives…. And I enjoyed it.

I also mindfully ate my cheese and onion Crinkles at lunchtime and really enjoyed them rather than inhaling them.

I felt a bit better when I left to go home.

Realistically though, we do have a lot of food in the house, so we are going to use that up first before I change my diet overnight.

That way we are clearing out and using up what we have which is our motto for the year.

I will eat more mindfully and try to enjoy what I eat and hopefully feel fuller again, faster.

And from Butterlies and Pebbles.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

So if you read the first blog, you will know we were very lucky to get power back at 12.30am!

Lights on at that time is always going to give you a fright. I conked straight back out while Craig was left to deal with all the lights around the house….

I have friends who STILL don’t have power. I can’t believe it has taken so long. I watched the helicopter follow the power lines again today checking for breakages.

It was a lovely morning. We had condensation inside the windows as the bedroom had been so cold.

It’s so calm and peaceful.

Not a breath when I took the dogs out the back.

Now that we have power I had to re-wash the washing in the machine. Tidy away all the camping lights and stove. Hoover the sunroom again. Get everything back to normal.

I took Calaidh, Bhruic and Freya up the hill for a walk and a run about.

I was not being in the present moment at all.

I was angry and stressed. I didn’t want to do any of the chores but they had to be done.

I stomped up and down that hill. I didn’t appreciate any of it. I can see that now.

The sun was lovely in the sky…. By the time I actually remembered to take a photo.

I stopped to look at it for a while and started to breathe.

My new view again today…..

Then when I was further down the hill I noticed the Emirates flight literally hanging in the sky.

Flights that are bound for Glasgow usually turn just past our village and head north east towards the runway.

Emirates didn’t turn where the flights usually do…. It carried on to the west for ages and then turned and headed straight back towards me.

Right towards me. I’ve never seen that before. (It is in this photo!!)

I actually started to panic a bit as I thought there must be something wrong. It finally banked slightly to the west and turned course heading for Glasgow. It was so low in the sky that I videoed it… I had such a bad feeling!

And yet all was well.

It probably does that everyday! I’ve just never seen it before.

That got me back to the present moment.

I took Calaidh back out with Khalessi, just to give her an extra walk.

I’ve also woken with a frozen shoulder and pain down my arms. Not quite sure what that’s all about? Maybe I was sleeping in a funny position last night, trying to avoid the puddle caused by my leaky hot water bottle!

We have clean bed for tonight… heaven!

I also had a lovely shower and washed my hair… what a luxury…

So this afternoon I had Claire in for a movie afternoon! We watched one of my favourites, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!

She had never seen it before.

She did tell Craig it came out 3 years before she was born!!

😳

This was Bhruic all cooried up as we watched.

So we had a lovely, calm afternoon. Lots of good chats.

I made the usual fakeaway for dinner tonight! It was good to make use of the food we have in the freezer. We have… I….. have decided that the freezer food will still be good. I’m binning the prawn ring as you can never trust a prawn!! 😆

What a strange weekend indeed.

I am so grateful that we seemed to be so well prepared. We never ran out of lights, gas for the camping stove or power in our phones.

The strangest thing was living without the internet. Without access to any updates.

All through the storm they told us to stay informed but it’s very hard to do that without signal.

Thanks so much to everyone who checked up on us and who offered support.

It’s lovely how everyone works together at times like this.

And just like that, back to work tomorrow.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Our power switched back on a 12.30am!!

The light came on in our bedroom as we slept!

It was FREEZING up there last night. I think about 12°C AND…. The hot water bottle I took to bed created a big puddle in the already freezing bed and soaked all the clothes I was wearing?!? You could not make that up!!!

I did not wet myself…. I can hear a few voices in my head that would say this. 😆😆

This is right up the top of the end as I was cuddling the hot water bottle. 😆

The dogs started barking as they got as much of a fright as we did but it’s lovely to wake to a warm house this morning. I had to take layers off as we went through the night.

Looking forward to a day of just being and not waiting.

Oh and a shower.

That will be nice.

My hair stays up in its top bun by itself now. 😆

Thanks to everyone for your messages of support over the last few days. I’ll catch back up today. I know Mum was going to put a message up to say that we didn’t have enough phone signal to be able to reply.

So grateful for all the chargers, camping lights, stove, gas and candles we have. So grateful.

Anyway, more later.

Stay very safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’ve not had a shower since Thursday morning and I’ve not washed my every second day hair since Wednesday 😆🤦🏻‍♀️

We are heading into our second full day without power. The wind chill factor outside is -3°C.

The good news is that it has been a lovely day with 13-14mph winds…. It was still really wild even when we went to bed last night. Bed was FREEZING. Maybe tonight I will remember to fill our hot water bottles.

When I was a kid we never had central heating and we just coped and we will again.

We are so very lucky to have a wood burning stove and an open fire but Craig is having to go and collect more wood as we have run out.

I took the dogs for a walk first thing this morning. They hadn’t been far yesterday. Look at the sun!

The calm is so lovely.

I love this next photo. After the strength and destruction of that storm yesterday, the sun will always rise again.

The farm we passed have lost some roofing on one of their sheds.

We met Rachel two doors down and Nacho.

Breathing in that lovely light.

The sky clouds over and there is snow on the hills. We have a yellow weather warning for snow and ice this morning.

These are the power lines that are causing all the problem right now. They are saying we won’t have power until Sunday night at midnight.

I love the reflection of the telegraph poles on the road!

The village hall has lost a length of ridging.

I came back and got Khaleesi and spotted this lovely rainbow!

Then we got caught in a hail storm, you can’t see it in this photo.

It’s just so mean and moody.

This cloud brought snow. I never got any photos of that either. The hail storm turned into snow for a bit. It lay and then melted in the sun.

My new favourite view, I feel like this has taken over from my obsession with gates!!

The puppers were soaking after the hail/snow so have their goonies on to keep dry… they are not getting back out with them on. 😆

Back outside to check everything in the garden… it’s a mess. I tried to clear it up. Poor Craig is loaded with the flu. So I was trying to save him a job but I couldn’t move half of it.

He’s put a big pallet up so hope that will stop the puppers from escaping. We literally just got the garden fully Khaleesi escape proof this summer and now we have to watch her again!!

So I don’t know where the day has gone.

I feel like I’m off sick but we are waiting for something. It’s a very strange feeling.

We went to the co-op for sandwiches, bread and cold meat and might rustle up a BLT for dinner tonight.

Community spirit is great. Many people are leaving to stay with family but those that are left are mucking in together. We have camping stoves set up. We’ve lent out two gas canisters, we’ve the offer of phone charging from neighbours who still have power or have since got generators. There’s something quite lovely about that part of it all.

So the light is just about to fade and I need to get out into the garden to post this.

I have no signal in the house. We’ve been told a mast may be down so we are bouncing further away.

I can’t get on the internet long enough to reply to anyone but it seems to let me post. Mum was going to comment on one of my posts from last night as I can see there are comments there, just not enough signal to read or reply.

It’s been a very strange few days. We are fine. We’ve camped for longer without power or showers. The toilet flushes and the stove is warm. Can’t ask for much more. Except a hot water bottle…. but I will do that tonight.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?!?

Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥

I woke up at 1.17am and it was gently raining. Not a breath outside.

This is our first red alert storm since 2012.

I had to drive in the 2012 storm from Falkirk to East Kilbride as, of course, I had to work through that one. This time a lot of businesses have closed along with the schools.

I wake again at 6.10am and it’s pretty windy outside. I look out the front and our main road is empty. Even at 6.10am there would be a fair bit of traffic by now.

Obviously there are cars passing as some people have to travel but the roads are so quiet.

It’s now 11am and we are into the thick of it now. There are trees down all around our villages but so far everyone seems ok.

Craig took the dogs out for a short walk this morning while I hoovered the house… just in case the power goes out. Check out his Scottish Dog Behaviourist post about dogs in this bad weather.

I’ve also got some of Ellison’s recipe lentil soup in the slow cooker. I grated my finger into the soup along with the carrot. 🥕 of course I did.

It’s so lovely to feel so much better than I did last weekend. My head is clear. I’m a little scared of the creaking and groaning in our house but we just have to ride that out. It’s nothing compared to what some countries face.

So since I wrote this I’ve been out in the garden to inspect the pub beer garden fence.

It is crazy out there, I don’t think I’ve been in weather like that. The wind is so powerful.

The pub fence is down in two places and our wee tree has fallen apart. It’s way too windy to get decent photos of anything. Can’t keep the phone steady at all!!

Then…. I realised the Memorial Hall wheelie bins were heading towards our cars so I went out the front to try and catch them. I realise I maybe shouldn’t have gone out as I fought with them for about 5 minutes and I’ve laid them on their side to lower their centre of gravity (where on earth did I get that from?!? I amaze myself…. 😆😆) it seems to have worked.

At 12.30pm our power went out.

We have electric central heating….

Thankfully the soup was just ready.

So we’re sitting with candles and the fire on and so grateful I made the soup. Our whole house runs off electricity!

I’m not gonna lie, this is all a little bit scary and I just want it to be over now. Our house is very old. It doesn’t need to be battered about like this.

It’s 1.46pm and the power’s been out for over and hour now. I am almost certain a plane just flew over us either heading towards Glasgow Aiport or having taken off from it?!? I would not want to be in that!!!

I think it’s easing slightly now. I feel the worst is past. I say that and a huge gust tried to prove me wrong…. Yup that was a big one!

Wow…. I must have started typing that in a lull…. and it got worse again.

This is between us and the pub.

Our wee tree.

We’ve just have one of our lovely neighbours in for coffee, as she wanted flasks of hot water and we have got the camping stove on.

The mai thing is we are safe.

It’s been a very strange day.

I don’t even know if this will post but I’m gonna try.

Stay very safe everyone 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

I wake just before 6am which is not bad. I get up straight away to start the day. I’m only 10 minutes ahead of schedule!

It’s a beautiful drive to work today. It’s 3.5°C so I don’t have to scrape the car but the sky is clear.

It’s even better by about 8.30am. (Note these are not my best shots as I work in an industrial estate and my foreground doesn’t give me much to play with 😆 check me sounding like a photographer!)

The reality was that these photos were more pink than orange but it was so beautiful.

Damn that lamppost 😆

One of the guys at work took a photo and removed the lamppost.

And finally our Tartan Campervan, Merida showing off that gorgeous sky.

I feel a bit giddy today. A little rush of excitement which I’ve not had for over a week. It’s lovely to feel like that. Especially after feeling down for a week or so.

I’m getting so much out of the connection in Donna Ashworth’s new journalling group.

Like minded people with nothing but kindness and a listening ear. Ok, it’s all written on social media but you know what I mean. I am loving being able to reply to people and give the some hope.

There are some people who really struggle to say anything nice about themselves and it shows me how far I have come.

If you asked me some of these questions in 2018, I would have had nothing good to say about myself either.

As hard as it was, I’m still so grateful that I fell apart, that I had my breakdown, because it’s given me the chance to become this version of myself.

I grew up wanting to please everyone but myself and that tied me in knots. All of the plates I was juggling, came crashing down to the ground and there were so many pieces, it took me years to pick the bits up that mattered.

Even now, when I feel low, I feel like an empty shell at times.

I struggle to connect with my inner child… I’m scared to look too closely at her. I wish she wasn’t so serious and grown up.

When I look back at school, I struggled to fit in anywhere yet I don’t think you would have known that at the time. A lot of my memories are of friendship falling outs or bullying.

I seem to find it hard to remember the nice parts. I think that’s maybe because I was working so hard trying to fit in.

I took that on to my career.

The “knight on a white charger” I was jokingly called as was brought in to my big job. I lapped it up, I’d help anyone, do anything, join any meeting I could. I championed new processes.

Slowly but surely over time I just started to break. I was surrounded by the worst kind of negativity…. Defensiveness.

Nothing was ever good enough, nothing ever changed, every day was a battle and my sunny disposition lost its shine. Replaced by fear, anger, shame, guilt, terror at times.

Hmmm where has all this come from today? It’s pouring out of me 😆

Back when I was off sick with anxiety and depression, people came out of the woodwork to share lovely things with me. I thought about listing them all here but I’d miss someone and that would be the worst thing ever.

There are friends and family, people I have never met but “know” through FB, people who have sadly, long since passed on. They all shared their light with me, or listened when I panicked. They really helped me to change my outlook on life.

It’s lovely to be able to do that for others now.

So in other news, central Scotland is braced for a storm tomorrow and everything is closing down.

You wouldn’t know it if you went outside just now. It’s calm and the skies are clear.

The schools are closed and many businesses are closing. I’m very pleased that Craig’s able to stay home too.

We have literally just had a huge siren sound play on our phones and watches and got this.

Never had that before.

It’s quite exciting but obviously scary at the same time.

We are prone to rotten weather in Scotland but we haven’t closed down for strong winds for as long as I can remember.

Now this next picture is not my favourite crochet blanket. This was a job that was work in progress that I was going to throw out in the big new year clear out. One of our lovely crochet girls tied in all the ends, pulled it together and did the border for me. I crocheted these squares in 2020 lockdown.

It is not the prettiest but it will do someone a turn. If you know someone that could use it let me know, if not it will go to the charity shop.

So I always end my blog with “stay safe everyone”, today I mean it more than ever.

Everyone in the path of this storm please take care. Here’s hoping it passes and turns out to be nothing other than a lot of hype.

Stay safe everyone 🚨🚨🚨

I woke at 5am. I wasn’t quite as rested as last night so I just got up.

I managed to look at my Donna Ashworth question before I ran, think about how your body feels today.

Not going to lie I have random aches and pains. Has the stress of this last week manifested itself in pain… maybe.

It’s good to do a body scan like that in the morning and Donna recommends we breathe into the aches and pains and let them all go.

It was just Rachel and I for a run this morning.

I was really spooked by the dark for some reason today. That could be because we watched a thriller the other night, based on a forest and I was scared of the dark!

The we ran through Spiers Old School grounds this morning!!!

Of course we did. 😱

At one point Rachel said, “what was that?!?” For those of you who don’t know the area, it’s basically a lovely woodland on the ground of an old school that got knocked down years ago. What was that, is never a good question to ask in the dark! 😆

😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱🏃🏻‍♀️😱

Was very glad when we were out of there! (My friend Evelyn will also give me a row for this. She is not a fan of my early morning, in the dark, antics! )

It doesn’t look it, but my glasses were so steamed up here, I couldn’t see a thing!

So 5.92k in the bag and yes I’d have run to 6k if I’d realised but I’d already stopped my tracker!

I feel ok today. My head is still calm and that’s always a good thing.

This is the SkyView Lite app when I got to work…. I knew I could see Mars as it appears slightly more red in the sky than the other stars. The app shows exactly where it is in the sky.

This photo is of actual Mars!

Yup a bit underwhelming, I know but I still find it very exciting!

There was a lovely sunrise at work today and the sun was in the sky most of the day, even although it was chilly.

Ellison brought me home made soup today and Ali got me a Greggs sausage roll.

It was a lovely lunch and I had my salad for dinner.

We have some very rough weather coming on Friday.

Our Alexa keeps telling us the weather for some reason. She just said that Fridays storm has been upgraded to an Amber Weather Alert.

It has a name so it must be bad. Storm Éowyn.

I have no plans for Friday so I will be staying out in case of flying trees!

Alexa also warned us of a yellow alert for snow on Friday morning. Could be exciting if Craig didn’t have to go out to work.

I’m trying to be really active on the Donna Ashworth page and trying to make people smile. It’s so lovely to connect with like minded people. You know how much I love that!

So I’m off to meet the Hookers in 5 next door in the village pub.

Looking forward to my 0% pink gin and slimline.

Plan on finishing another baby blanket!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

It’s Bhruic’s 9th birthday today! She has no idea… obviously… but I did give her a few toys that they didn’t get at Christmas so she was very excited!

Here she is this morning showing off to the others.

Lots of fun with her new toy… simple things eh?!

She was THE most beautiful puppy and she’s grown into a beautiful girl.

We have our challenges Bhruic and … I see something in her eyes in the bottom right photo… there’s a lot goes on in that head of hers. She tests my patience a lot but she’s actually the most easily trainable. She’s determined to do anything for you.

She’s also so much fun and always takes a great photo… when she’s being ladylike 😆

She is definitely our adventure pup….

Though she was not happy out in a canoe!! She kept trying to get out. Not her wisest move.

I’m feeling a lot brighter today. Like a weight has been lifted.

I feel more focused and I have more energy.

It’s such a relief as that’s been a rough 5 or 6 days.

I started my new HRT regime last night. I’ve moved up from Everol 50 to Everol 75. I don’t think, for one second, that this is contributing to my lighter mood.

I slept ALL night. I was in bed before Craig and the dogs, never heard them come to bed…. Never heard the herd of wildebeest come up the stairs…. And I woke to the alarm.

My head is silent. 🧘🏻‍♀️

So I’ve had a good day.

Got lots done at work.

We even saw some sunshine.

Here’s the birthday girl tonight.

She’s already almost annihilated her new toy.

Sadly managed to seriously overcook my second helping of haggis… I seemed to turn it into a sold cereal bar since I coked it on full power for 10 minutes instead of medium power… oops.

There’s a lovely sky tonight. Jupiter and Saturn are visible just now from our south facing back garden. They look like one star as they are so close together.

So I hope you have a lovely Tuesday night. I plan on chilling with the birthday girl.

Assuming she actually chills that is…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

The phrase Blue Monday was thought up by a travel company trying to encourage people to book a holiday in January.

It gives many of us an excuse to feel blue. I would have lapped this up in the past.

I still felt really low when I woke this morning and I was determined not to make it a bad day. I invented Happy Yellow Monday 😆💛💛💛. I worked hard to feel bright and upbeat.

I tried to be fully present in the shower instead of rushing ahead with my day. I felt grateful for the warmth of the water, smiled at the lemon scent of the yellow shower gel…. You get the gist…. It’s cheesy but I really have to work at that.

My FB feed gave me so much this morning. I’ll share everything that meant something to me.

Coffee and Quotes is always there with a smile for the day. 😘

I did feel rough this morning but I honestly think this helped.

One of the girls at work bought me this happy avocado to counteract my wee sad olive last week. How lovely is that?! It’s the cutest.

The sun came out today and it’s been lovely to see. We have storms coming against the end of the week.

I came home via the post office, to post another Vinted sale, the chemist to pick up my increased HRT prescription and the village hall, where they were giving us feedback on the Garnock Valley questionnaire on improvements. That was a lot of words to out in one sentence. I’m not sure it made sense! It did to me. They are looking for suggestions for improvements in our local community and it was good to see how they collated that feedback. We will see what they do with it now.

So it was veggie haggis and neeps (turnip) for dinner tonight. Bhru is not impressed. 😆

My friend Emma came to pick up a cat basket for a vet trip tomorrow so I had a good chat with her and she’s just away!

I feel very tired but definitely brighter than the weekend.

Finally my head might be slightly more calm.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I didn’t sleep that well last night. We ended up with Calaidh and Khaleesi in with us. At 12.30 Calaidh barged into the dog’s room and woke Bhruic and Freya up…. Eh not happening!!

Then I woke again at 5.30 as Khaleesi was taking up my foot space!

Ignore me, I’m still a grump just now.

So we got up at 7am as we had to leave by 8am. Craig had booked us a 55 minute slot at the Wag and Run dog field in Mauchline.

It was lovely to go out for a drive that early in the morning.

You reverse into a parking spot and lock the gate in front of you, before you let the dogs out of the car.

They had an absolute blast.

There are agility structures and tunnels for them to play in. They weren’t really bothered about any of that. They were just SO excited.

This was one of the best shots I got with them all sitting down! It was like herding water 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 Looks like they’re having a chat.

I tried to get them all to sit on the bench with Craig but there was way too much excitement for that.

Almost managed it.

Bhru is probably my least favourite to walk on lead, but she was a star today. She did all the agility stuff.

Here she is getting big cuddles.

And being her usual goofy self.

Calaidh isn’t moving until Craig throws that blue frisbee 🥏….. she’s looking back at me asking, will he throw it already.

The dog park said it had a sensory garden, which had long since overgrown with grass, a water feature which was fenced off, a shed for shelter which was closed. It was a shame as it’s a big field but not quite what they advertise.

The 55 minutes passed really quickly.

There was so much excitement that they are zonked out now.

We stopped past Tesco so I could do the fastest food shop in history and then back home.

I’m still not feeling great though our trip this morning did me the power of good we need to do more like that together.

I have introduced my inner child to the movie Inside Out and it blew me away.

It explains a child’s life from the emotions inside the head. Ellison recommended it to me. It’s so cleverly written. A lovely idea.

Inside Out 2 introduces ANXIETY and I can hardly watch. I’m cringing so badly, while learning so much about how we respond in certain situations. It’s no wonder I’m knackered without that self doubt and second guessing going on in my head 😆

This hit me right between the eyes.

I need more joy and happiness in my life. Despite my positive outlook on the blog, I still think I’m quick to could on the dark.

I get lots of joy from travelling but I need to be aware of it in the day to day.

So yeah, there’s a new week just around the corner…. This is just a wee slump and I’ll bounce out of it and wonder what the fuss was all about. Butterflies and Pebbles say it well….

It’s only 3pm. The day is yet young.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Oh my goodness me… that’s the polite start to today’s ramblings…. I do not now where to put myself today.

I am all over the place.

I’m shattered but I can’t sleep.

I have things I want to do but I just can’t.

I seem happy with sit staring into space with my head half asleep and the other half in turmoil.

I slept like a log last night. No trips to the loo. Out for the count until my alarm at 6.55am.

I was running with Lynsey this morning.

Despite my lethargy, it was actually a good run. No niggling knee pain since I stopped wearing the boots that seemed to cause it.

A good 5.4kms run with good chat. The best way to start a day.

I look a tad startled in this photo. 😳

As I usually do at the weekends, I took the dogs out straight away.

Like yesterday, I don’t have the energy or confidence to walk all 3 Borders at once, so I split Bhruic and Freya and Calaidh and Khaleesi.

Bhru walked in front of me, while Freya dragged behind. She’s feeling a bit like me today.

I was running with them, to start off with, but I felt so bad dragging her that I walked the rest of the way. I felt like I was back at primary school, playing a game where you hold hands with the one in front of you and the one behind!!

Then the two Cals.

Khaleesi had lots of fun on lead while Calaidh ran off exploring. Those legs are her bad side…. The back is the one that was operated on. Looks like quite good muscle forming back.

It’s still only 9.30am and I am so tired, but I have to shower and I’m still sweaty. I have a quick shower and wash my hair and then, strangely for me, run a lovely bath with magnesium bath salts.

I light candles to bring some nice light to the experience.

My meditation candle burned right down as I was in there for 45 minutes.

I never normally like a bath, but this was just perfect.

Perfect temperature with perfect light.

I didn’t touch my phone, or read the books that I brought in with me.

I just watched the flame and true to use the time as a mediation.

It relaxes me so much and I head up to bed.

I lie for 50 minutes but the dogs are going nuts at people parking outside our house and it just makes me angry. (at the dogs, not the people of course!)

I jump up and scream down the stairs at them.. may as well get up then. the moment is gone.

I put a washing on, make my lunch as I’m hungry and eat it so fast that I get indigestion.

I light a fire and sit down with my books.

Our Donna Ashworth, Words to Live By question, this morning, was about what takes your peace.

The same things take my peace day in, day out which is why I want so many things to change, but I do nothing to change them. It’s like I enjoy having my inner child kick off and have a tantrum, rather than addressing the things that bother me.

We’ve done a fair bit of thinking on our inner child and I’ve found that really hard.

Mine just has tantrums and huffs. She doesn’t have fun because she thinks it’s frivolous and wants to be a grown up, serious adult. She thinks being a child is beneath her.

Children should be seen and not heard.

As the first grandchild in a family with 2 aunties and 2 uncles… I wanted them all to myself. When they eventually got married and had kids, I think I thought I was one of the adults rather than one of the kids, as I’d been there first. My brother was great at playing with all the cousins when we were wee. That was my worst nightmare. I loved them and wanted to cuddle them but “play” eh naw…. I wanted to be included in the grown up chat.

I’m always so serious. I still am.

I used to let me hair down when I drank, but in my own mind that went way too far. That was maybe my inner child having her rebellious phase.

Now she’s back to the serious stuff. Lists and rules to live by. Huffs and tantrums when things don’t go my way.

Maybe it’s no wonder I’m exhausted with al this going round in my head?!? 😆

I jump on to FB for some inspiration and see this from Tiny Bhudda shared by Sue Pritchard – Writer and I almost want to cry with relief.

I know………

And then this from Doe Zantamata.

So days FB doesn’t listen to my every inner thought and throw things back at me?!? 😆😆🤦🏻‍♀️😳😆

There will be people reading this that reckon I just have too much time to think.

I do agree but maybe I just need to wade through this sludge to get to the next stage.

And learn from these guys…

Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

I should say here that I was tempted to message Craig to warn him what he was walking into but he actually cheered me up.

Wonders will never cease to amaze. 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Ooooh I’m having such a wobble today.

I feel exhausted. I feel like I can hardly keep my eyes open and it’s 10.15 😆

I was up for the loo at 2.33, 4.56

I’ve also started this blog twice 😆😆 at least I’m consistent. I started it the same way both times! it’s now 3pm.

I didn’t feel great this morning. I took Freya and Bhruic out first…. stopping for all the primary school traffic, every few minutes, wrong time to walk the dogs!!

I got half way round our walk and a dog barked…. Quite aggressively…. Somewhere in front of us…. My anxiety was so high, we about turned and headed back the way we came.

I was breathless with my anxiety.

I may have caught sight of the wee sausage dog, as we walked back home!

How ridiculous is that?

I then took Calaidh and Khaleesi up the hill…

No panic up that way!

I have a doctor’s appointment at 10.30am to get my newly discovered lump checked. (Again don’t panic as I have lots of cysts so it’s most likely that).

I’m ok about it all as I’ve been through this routine many times. The doctor was lovely and said all the right things. She told me that I’d be referred as an emergency only because they can’t rule anything out. She said I would get a mammogram within a fortnight. This is exactly the procedure I’ve experienced in the past, so I am not panicked but I’m so emotional that of course I cried in the surgery… when I told her I hadn’t had a drink in 6 years…. What was that all about?

I asked if there was anything I could do to reduce the cysts that I have and she said stop smoking and drink less. ✅ ✅ ok so nothing then?!

She said it’s common in many perimenopausal women.

I decided to cheer myself up when I left and headed to Curiosity for coffee and a cake.

This cake deserves a side on photo!

It was exquisite!! Surprisingly it wasn’t too sickly. It really hit the spot.

What also helped is I bumped into my lovely friend, Evelyn, one of the crochet hookers, and coerced her to come with me!! It was her first time and she said it was the best coffee she’s ever had.

We had a great wee chat.

As we left I had a message from my friend Gayle from the little gift shop, so I popped in there and we talked for about 2 whole hours.

I’d told the puppers I would be home soon!!!

Craig called me before he went into a job AND when he came out and I was STILL in the shop!!

I left at 10.15 and was home by 1.45!!

I musta needed it!

So I had a list of things to do today but I knew I couldn’t do any of them. I feel so weary that I’m happy with my big chats and now cuddles with the dogs.

This is enough for today.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend ahead.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

If you didn’t see yesterday’s blog the olive quote will be lost on you… the good news is that I feel much brighter than I did yesterday.

I knew I would.

I’ve been really tired today.

I always feel a bit exhausted after a dramatic day in my head.

I had my shower and sat down by the light of the candle, to work on my journal entry in Donna Ashworth’s Words to Live By. I spent a lovely 20 minutes, writing my answers to the question for today.

It was a beautiful morning.

I pulled over to take photos. The sky was so pretty, none of these do it justice.

It was still pretty when I got to work.

So I did have a much calmer day today. There were no tears, no rage, all good.

We had customers in with the best behaved dogs ever. A Boxer and a Frenchie, they were so cute and it was lovely to spend some time with them.

Not sure if you’re aware but there is a lot happening in the sky in the next week or so.

This was from last night.

Now don’t be blown away by this but is my photo of Mars last night!

And this is Saturn…. I feel like I can see the rings around it…. While I’m sure I can’t….

I’d said I’d downloaded a new app…. SkyView Lite. This is tonight.

And here is my photo!!

You can’t see the 2 separate planets.

And Jupiter…

For real as zoomed as I could get it!!

And finally Mars.

And yup…. We can’t see it at all!!

I’m fascinated looking at these planets.

It’s a very stark reminder of how tiny we are and how vast our Universe is.

So, I’m really looking forward to 3 days off work.

You know me, I have lists but they may give way to rest.

Happy Thursday night!

Stay safe everyone 🌍🪐📡

The olive in my salad at lunch, completely explained my day.

A wee sad olive. 🥺🫒

It’s been a really tough day today.

I was up at 5.15 for a run with Claire and Lynsey.

I was a rough run for me today. My knee was sore for the first time in ages.

I’ve been wearing boots that I haven’t worn for years. They were the ones that I rescued for the Vinted sale bag.

It seems they were in the bag for sale for a reason. I have 3 pairs of these boots and every time I wear a pair, I end up with the pain.

Lesson finally learned. Except for the dark maroon ones… I’m keeping them 😆

So I digress, sore knee this morning but I also felt really down.

I ended up in tears as we ran.

I wanted to stop.

wanted to turn around.

The girls kept me going.

We ended up doing 5.41kms in a really good time considering I walked a few times.

I felt really sad when I got back home. I sat and had a good cry before I went in for a shower.

I was “this close” to calling in sick today.

There is one day a month where I really should have a duvet day. Today was that day.

I hummed and hawed for the whole shower but figured out I’d be more stressed having to try and make up the 7.5 hours, than I would be if I just got my shit together and went to work.

And so I went to work.

I felt a lot better then I got there and got on with the day but I had a wobble for a few hours this morning. I couldn’t look at anyone.

I just wanted to cry so bad. My head was having a complete hissy fit at everything that happened this morning.

I read a FB post at lunch that said “turn that frown upside down”….. and then I saw the sad olive in my salad.

It made me laugh so hard!

It actually made my day.

I couldn’t eat it.

Yes I am THAT crazy.

Moving on swiftly…

I also had a follow up HRT call with the doctor this afternoon.

It went really well.

We have decided that I should up the dose slightly to see how that goes.

I also told her I’ve found a wee lump so I have an appointment on Friday to get that checked. I am full of cysts so I’m not panicked by this so please don’t worry. I always get them checked out.

I was sooooooo grateful when it came to 4pm and I’d made it through the day.

I know I’m dramatic but that was a tough one.

I’m sure it’s just hormones and it will pass. I take it I’ll our because I’ve had such a good January so far.

I always do say I would share as much as I could.. warts and all.

Off to crochet in half and hour. I hope they’re ready for me. 🤦🏻‍♀️😆😘

Oh and if you look out to the south east direction you will see Venus shining brightly with Saturn, less bright off to the south. (At time of typing…. The planets will move 😆)

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

You soooo know I have nothing much to write about, when I call the blog, crazy mild weather for January 😆😆😆

A daily blog is bound to run out steam some days…. I got up, I went to work, the end. 😆

Last week we had -7°C and I ran in -4°C…. This week 10°C!! Ellison and I almost sat outside at lunch today, as when the sun shone it was really lovely.

I feel brighter today.

I’m not really down, I’m not really sad. I just have nothing much to say. I also consider that to be a good things as it means there is nothing bad happening either.

I slept like a log. Woke at 4.30 again but managed to fall back to sleep before the alarm. That is lovely and unusual as it meant my head was empty…. And that doesn’t happen often.

When I woke at the alarm, I knew my head didn’t feel great, so I said some positive affirmations to change my mood.

I am healthy, I am happy and I am loved

I said it over and over. I think it worked as I have felt better.

I got up, had my shower, lit the candles and sat down to Donna Ashworth’s,Words to Live By daily journal. It’s a lovely way to start the day.

I love this…

I’ve had a good day and got lots done.

This is a great list of easy to do basics to keep your health and mindset on track.

I’ve smiled at small moments of Joy throughout the day.

I had to go to the co-op after work as we’d run out of dog food. The delivery has been delayed. I got £21 off my shopping and I was over the moon. It’s the simple things in life.

This next one is huge….. try to break out of the same cycles of why me and take a deeper look at what these things may be telling you.

A funny story from the another day… I had this huge list to work through (my choice) and I was ticking things off as I went. Loving it, caught up in the inspired action, thinking about this, that and the next thing, everything that needed done….

Craig , on the other hand, was wondering how many balloons it would take to lift him off the ground.

😳🙄

Does that not just sum us up eh?!? a saying about Venus and Mars springs to mind (incidentally, Mars will be close to the moon tonight if you have a clear sky!)

We had a good laugh at that….

Here is the answer.

I will just leave that there….. 😬

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I woke at 4.30am…. And I think I might have got back to sleep for about 20 minutes before my alarm went off…. I should have just got up when I woke 😆

I finished off drying out the freezer before I went to work.

I actually find myself at a loss for words today…. Hmmm why is that?!

I’m tired and a little bit flat.

It’s actually been a really busy day but I did enjoy ticking off housework lists more 😆

Funny that it’s been wet and windy all day…. I feel grey on a grey day.

I made a nice veggie dinner…. I had so much, I split it into two!

One is cauliflower and broccoli in Boursin.

And the other is in soft cheese with tumeric.

I stir fried leaks in coconut oil and added salt and pepper. I then add a vegetable stock pot and stir it all in together, before adding the cheese. It’s not hard 😆😆😆 I love that I’m giving out a recipe for the easiest thing ever, but I really enjoy it.

So that’s actually all from me tonight. I still have Donna Ashworth’s journal to do so I’ll get on to that. It’s a really amazing journey to be a part of this year.

Sorry I there’s not been much to say…

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️