Today is World Mental Health Day, and the theme set by the World Federation for Mental Health this year is “it’s time to prioritise mental health in the workplace”.

It would be amazing if big corporations would take this into account and make some changes.

I suffered from burnout which came to a head in September of 2018 when I walked out of work in floods of tears.

There was very little support back then. It was considered a failure to be off sick with mental heath. I knew my career there would never recover despite it being cussed by my reaction to the environment.

This is a really good article on burnout. I have to say I didn’t know it was a thing at the time.

Mental Health UK – Burnout

As a people pleaser, I got tied up in knots trying to keep everyone happy.

As a customer facing Commercial Manager, it was my job to manage the team of customer facing Contract Managers. It was our job to deliver exactly what they had ordered. It was our job to delight them.

I worked long hours to try to achieve this.

I worked extra hours trying to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s as I was a perfectionist and expected the best from everyone.

As a Manager of people it was my job to listen to them, support them and to lead them in the best way that I could. I also wanted them to like me, which, a manager is never likely to be able to achieve. I think it was that bit that probably tied me in knots the most. I tried to keep all the people happy, all of the time.

I was very good at what I did but that did not necessarily make me a good manager of people.

After years of trying to work perfectly in an imperfect world, I burned out. I lost all of my confidence, all of my self worth and I became a shadow of my former self.

The suited and high-heeled senior manager became a snivelling wreck in joggies and a sweatshirt and I put on weight on a daily basis.

There were days when I was so terrified by who I had become.

I was scared of everything.

I got to the stage where I felt I had nowhere else to turn.

Despite my loving family and friends, I felt had become burden and I felt I had nowhere else to turn.

I was so desperate.

I called the Samaritans one day.

It really did help to have someone else to talk to.

When your head is lying to you…. Please, please, please just talk. Speak to anyone who will listen. Get it out. Don’t keep it in and bury it down.

A problem shared is a problem halved.

It’s so good to talk.

On my journey, I have met so many people that have very difficult life stories, it’s fascinating to listen to what others have gone through. I love nothing more than a deep chat with someone.

You never know what someone is going through. The person next to you, could be at breaking point. Always be kind to others.

I will always keep banging the drum.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Another amazing progesterone-induced sleep last night. The last of the progesterone for a fortnight.

I woke at 5.15am just in time for the 5.30am alarm. Today is my first day back running with the girls.

I have to say, it was a thought…. But I knew I needed to do it.

It was just what I needed. The usual great chat and we ended up running just under 7kms!! That’s 4 miles.

Head torches on, it was very dark this morning.

I am so proud of the run that we did. I found it really easy to start and then really quite tough.

We ran through Spiers Old School grounds which, with hindsight, wasn’t the best idea. It was very dark and we almost lost the path at one point!

I felt really dizzy when I came back in to the house but that’s the worst it has been today.

Work was “work day 3 since holidays” but I did order chips, cheese and Cajun spice for my lunch and they were SO good!! While my lovely salad sat in the bag and I ate it for dinner.

Home late as I’m making up time at work and I’m rushing this to get out to meet the Crochet Hookers!

It’s all go…

Still all calm on the western front.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Wow now there’s a title…. After the excitement of our holiday, the day to day blog seems very mundane. I am still very grateful for that as it also means that my head’s in a good place. I can’t complain!

I had another great sleep and although I’ve still got the cold, I’m feeling much better than I was.

This is something I’ve been trying to explain for a while and I spotted it on FB today. I didn’t notice who shared it.

I used to spend my life in the ego self. I was ALWAYS the victim. I complained about EVERYTHING… and I mean everything. I was never happy. Everything was out to transpire against me. Everyone was out to get me. I worked in a blame culture and instead of seeing it for what it was, and rising above it, I sunk deeper into defending the blame. I believed I was to blame. I believed I was no longer good at my job, that I had failed. I carried that everywhere I went and almost wore it like a badge of honour… oh woe is me.

I was aware of blurting out the whole, awful story, anytime someone asked how I was.

My ego was hurting big time and kicking off in every way.

Fast forward 6 years and I am so proud to say that I’m now the higher self.

Yeah, ok sometimes that ego jumps up and wants attention, but in the majority of cases I can see the bigger picture.

I see lessons in EVERYTHING I do. I am constantly learning from the lessons life throws at me. Constantly trying to understand what my reactions are telling me… and I love it.

I love analysing what people are now try are and why they do what they do. It fascinates me.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to see life from the higher self.

It brings me peace.

Funny how a picture on FB can conjure up so many thoughts and emotions.

I had a call with the Doctor, this morning, about my dizziness.

He asked a long list of questions and wants to see me on Monday morning.

I have managed to confuse myself since the call. I was certain he said I had Labyrinthitis…. As the day has gone on I’m now thinking he also said vertigo. He definite mentioned them both. My brain fog isn’t helping this week 😆

Of course for the rest of the morning, the dizziness was off the scale. It settled later on. I’m aware I made it worse by thinking so much about it.

It’s that higher self again. 😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Back to work today…. I opened one eye early on and figured that I felt a fair bit better than yesterday. I actually had some energy to get moving. I dreaded the thought of having to go back to work but I knew that I needed to make myself do something after days of lounging around.

I’ve still felt a wee bit dizzy today though nowhere near as bad as the last few days.

Right back into it today…. It always takes me a while to adjust after a holiday… a while to remember what I was doing before the holiday but today seemed to take longer than usual. 😆

So that’s the first day under my belt and the rest will flow as normal.

I even had the energy to tidy some of the house tonight.

So hopefully back to normal as Craig chokes up. Bless him. 😷

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I slept really well again but I couldn’t wake up….. I was awake but couldn’t open my eyes for ages…. Such a good sleep.

Finally got out of bed to sit and have coffee with Craig and headed back up to bed from 10.30 to about 2pm…

I’ve been on the couch ever since. 🫣😷🥴

The end.

😆

This time last week we were haring about Cavtat and Dubrovnik… this week I’m so exhausted and dizzy I’m languishing from bed to couch.

I’ve had a steady stream of support.

Craig went to the supermarket to get supplies…. He’s a good lad 😆

Coffee & Quotes hits the nail on the head again….

I could not be any slower 😆

And this from Wonder Doodles.

There is nothing in my head. Not stress or anxiety…. I just feel like I’ve been run over by a steamroller. My head is soooo heavy.

I am worried about the dizziness though as my head is swimming when I do move around. It’s been like that for a lot of our holiday. I feel like I’m not really in my head. Some days that would be a good thing 😆 it’s not making me feel sick but it’s really disorienting.

Hope you’re all having a great weekend and huge congrats to everyone who had great results in the Great Scottish Run today… I’ve 2 friends who blasted PB’s today!

So nothing much else to report just now.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

I’m currently sat under two crochet blankets on the couch still feeling rotten.

Despite all that, I had the best sleep…. Out for the count from 9pm until til 6.30am, breathing freely all night…. I was so grateful for such a good rest.

I got the dogs out first thing and the fresh air was good. It’s pretty mild for this time of the year. we just did a slow plod up the hill.

Just realised Freya isn’t even in this photo!

My head has been so thick all day. Moreso than usual. 😆 I can’t think straight at all. My sinuses and my head are both thumping

Current position….

My case is still sitting in the dining room waiting to be fully unpacked…. But that’s ok. It can wait.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Sorry it’s short.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

This struck a chord today….

I’ve been wiped out today and everything has felt way more difficult than it actually needed to be. I have horrific brain fog and I’m so lethargic.

I’ve had a sore throat since Tuesday night and I think it’s winning.

I did manage to do the first holiday wash and fill the machine for the second one. I also had a lovely walk with the dogs and collected some brambles… in a clean dog poo bag 😆

I had them on my lovely salad at lunchtime.

Here’s Khaleesi on her walk.

I then tried to process a payment for the Memorial Hall and forgot my pin…. Blocked my account and can’t think clearly enough to get it unblocked. The Hall can’t pay someone because my head was mince when I went to do the payment…. Do you detect the self loathing in there?!?

I had to go to an ATM to try the pin there as that’s the only way the call centre would send me out a new pin… that didn’t work as it said the ATM would not support my type of account… which I knew before I even went all the way there!

So finally… a new pin will be sent to arrive in 3-5 days… I have to verify that at an ATM too.

I was helping out in the little gift shop today as Gayle is on holiday. The dogs were all settled when I left. Bless…

It’s been a lovely afternoon with so many lovely customers. The usual lovely vibe.

And now I’m home feeling like a half shut knife.

I was meant to be out tonight but I’ve just cancelled as I feel like a lead brick. (I did have a wry smile at all these phrases I’m coming out with). The one time I actually decide to go to a night out.

It’s not been my favourite day but that is ok.

Tomorrow is a brand new one.

Comfies on, lemsip at the ready and I’ll get an early night.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

We sat outside for coffee after breakfast this morning.

Would you believe we are back on the Adriana boat again despite vowing never to set foot on it again. 😆

A little bit of history of our trip today…. All week we’ve been living across the water from the abandoned hotels of Kupari…. Click the links.

The Abandoned Hotels of Kupari

Daily Mail before and after photos

We walked from Srebeno port over to Kupari.

What an incredibly humbling experience to be allowed to freely wander through these hotels that were completely destroyed during the Croatian War of Independence

This was the Hotel Goricina.

This was the Grand Hotel.

Where’s Wally, I mean, Craig 😆

We walked around 3 abandoned hotels in total…. It’s quite spooky and eerie but also incredibly poignant.

140,000 people died in the conflict. Don’t quote me on any of this as I’m just going by what I have read so apologies if any of my “facts” are incorrect.

This is Hotel Kupari.

The bay is beautiful.

A much bumpier boat on the way back but nothing compared to the way back from Dubrovnik the other day.

We’re already pre-sad about the end of our holiday. This time tomorrow we will be home.

It’s almost 2.30 and I’m putting this out now so I can savour every minute of our last afternoon and evening.

What an amazing adventure.

So many lovely memories made.

Best of all we’ve remained friends throughout. 😆 it’s been lovely to spend time together. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ☀️👙🏝️

And visit Croatia!! 🇭🇷

I slept like a log last night… with my cardigan on!! I was that cold 😆 I woke at 6.10am with the work alarm going off. No work for us today!

I have to say I am so over this whole eating malarkey…. I’ve had more food this week than in ages and my body is really missing the regime of fasting. I am not complaining at all just very aware of it. This is the first week I haven’t fasted in nearly 3 years.

Can’t get enough of the view from our room. We open the blinds while we’re still lying in bed in the morning.

So up and at it again for breakfast 😆

This morning we went for a walk around the peninsula that we haven’t explored yet.

Today’s walk was all about boats and the turquoise sea for me!

I suddenly noticed that Jaguar super yacht was leaving Cavtat. It’s been here since we arrived. It seemed to be loading guests last night.

I watched it as we walked.

Craig spotted an underground network and lookout points as we walked.

We came back into the town and sat here for a while.

We’ve walked back round to the hotel and I plan on sitting out until the sun disappears. The forecast is for it to cloud over later.

I’ve almost read a whole book today… we went for a walk after the sun disappeared from our spot and I had a virgin Pina Colada!

We had a late lunch and early dinner and this was my lovely salad with a view.

Craig had the burger.

We’re back in the room to watch sunset from the balcony tonight. We get the sun from 6pm until it goes down at 6.30pm…. Not long but it’s still worth it for the beautiful views.

It’s been a beautiful day today. So calm after the stiff breeze of the last few days. We’ve been out in the sun all day…. Just lovely.

I am already so very used to this.

Stay safe everyone ☀️😎🏝️