Day 1643 a very thoughtful Thursday!

I slept really well but was gutted no one was available for a run as I really wanted to go out. The forecast had been rotten on Wednesday so I’d suggested Thursday… as a result went to work with dirty hair yesterday and am all out of whack with my hair washing routine for the next few days… these things matter to a life control freak., yet on the grand scheme of things they are irrelevant.

Today I’m going to try and stop looking stuff up on my phone…. My mind is racing with thoughts and questions and I’m going to try and write them down rather than look them up… 😆

I thought a lot last night about burying your emotions. I feel good just now (apart from a bit of dizziness which is nothing really) but I’m avoiding some true questions that need to be answered.

What do I want to do doing the rest of my life?

I am happy. Have a lovely husband, 4 lovely dogs and you all know as much as that is all true, times can be tough too like anyone’s lives. Craig and I work at this a lot more now. We’re both more aware and niggles don’t last as long as they may have done when we’re younger. We do try to understand where the other is coming from.

I just know that still there is something else that I need to do.

I’ve tried to actively go after whatever “it” may be… then get frustrated by lack of ideas, lack of confidence and convince myself that the person who continually “searches” will always have to “search”.

I need to sit with life and just be.

I am living in a giant comfort zone and I’m scared to step out of it while everything is telling me that I have to.

Then I seem to be swallowed up in a world of constantly checking my phone and immerse myself into to tv shows that I can binge and keep my mind well away from the just being.

I am also very hard on myself. Oooooh a wee twinge of a possible tear on the eye there.

Maybe I am just “octobering”… without the tea!

Shared by Goodwill Librarian.

What a difference this is making already…. Not just mindlessly scrolling before work. (I should say here it’s still only 6.30am!)

It’s now lunch time and I have done it! I haven’t touched my phone.

This from Kate Spencer…

I have 35 messages at lunch but that is totally ok… my head is clear and I’m really enjoying the work I’m doing. I’m reaching for my phone absentmindedly, but I haven’t touched it.

I’m sticking with it this afternoon!

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting on my phone rather than working but I’m constantly tap tap tapping at it to see if there’s something to reply to. Today has been a breath of fresh air living in the moment and not being side tracked.

I had a great day at work and got a big job done. I felt clear headed and focussed.

This was shared by Dare to be Happier on FB.. another great follow.

I know a few people liked the boundary stuff I shared the other day.

And this next one is the crux of it all….

Do something that 90 year old you would look back on and be proud of you for doing. Don’t just settle for the status quo (unless you are more than happy to of course and that is ok!) step out of that comfort zone.

Very thoughtful for a random Thursday!

A good day!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️