If you knew me in my drinking years then I guess you are probably just as surprised by this, as I am. 😂
2000 days of my life without a drop of alcohol. Who’d a thunk it, as my Gran would say?!
I should say that Gran wouldn’t have had an opinion on my drinking at all… it’s just her saying … obviously 😂😘
I loved a good glass of wine.
For birthdays, holidays, Christmas, Hogmanay, a day off, a christening, a baby shower, a night out, a sunny day a good day…. And bad day, a worse day and to recover from the day before.
Any excuse.
I wasn’t much of a drinker until my mid 30’s.
I had always been a people pleaser. I did everything I could to make everyone else happy but inside I was a mess.
Trying to please a senior management team that were impossible to please.
Hiring a strong team who questioned (quite rightly) everything the senior management team said.
Being customer facing but putting the senior team before the customer.
None of that sat well with me and I tied myself in knots trying to be everything to everyone.
I loved nothing more than any excuse to have a drink. I would live for the time when it was socially acceptable to have a glass of wine. By then I was self medicating and really only drinking because I was bloody miserable in my working life.
It never occurred to me that I could just leave. I had such low self esteem that by then, I thought I was worthless.
I made everyone happy except for myself…. Until I started crying and didn’t stop for ages.
After being off sick from work for 4 months, I decided to try Dry January 2019. I was trying everything I could to improve my mood long enough to cope with work again.
I went back to work in January 2019, a shadow of my former self.
I was persona non grata, I was no longer invited to the senior management conferences, I was missed out of meetings. I no longer existed in that world. I disappeared off the radar again in May of 2019 and not many people noticed.
I was terrified.
I had lived for my work.
But still I did not drink.
I consumed my body weight in Cadburys Chocolate Buttons instead and put on 4 stone.
But still I did not drink.
I couldn’t go back to the euphoria then hangover scenario.
I needed to be in control.
I needed to give myself a fair shot at recovery.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done but the biggest gift I have ever given myself.
I felt strange, I felt sad, I felt left out, I felt weird, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.
People tried to encourage me to drink, told me I was boring and asked how long it would last for.
And still I did not drink.
I owed it to myself.
I did give in on two occasions… the night the pub next door was forced to close, on 20th March 2020, due to COVID-19 lockdown and again on reopening on 25th July 2020.
I have no idea why other than I just wanted to fit in and feel normal again.
Instead I felt like shit the next day and was soooooooooo disgusted with myself.
So back on the wagon since July 2020 and life is no longer controlled by alcohol.
I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to wake up every day without a hangover and to have control over my actions. I am living my life in the present moment rather than clouded by booze.
Even after all this time, I still feel a bit strange and a bit odd at social occasions but I have some wonderful friends around me who help make that easier for me.
I’ve learned that I have real social anxiety which I had no clue about but hey, I face it with a clear head.
There’s no getting away from the tough things in life, no way of drowning it. I have to face it head on.
And still I do not drink.
I’m so proud of myself for sticking to this and giving myself the best chance in life.
It’s just become my new way of life, for now.
Stay safe everyone ☕️☕️☕️
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 
well done Julie, your story is amazing to read, I’m around a year sober now, must check date! My sobriety was somewhat forced upon me after ending up at deaths door, in hospital for almost 3 months with a very badly damaged liver, so much so, I need a transplant, certainly very sobering, no pun intended. I also feel so much better waking up each morning not suffering from a hangover and feeling very lucky to still be alive! I enjoy a wee glass of nosecco these days! Xx
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Oh wow, that is both horrifying and wonderful to read, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad that you feel better without it and hope that you feel better soon. I hope that you can get the transplant soon. Nosecco is one of my favs. Congratulations on your year, it’s not easy in a drinking culture! Xx
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Just drinking my Becks blue alcohol free, as I often do while I read your blog, dinner in the oven. Will be having an alcoholic drink at the weekend no doubt, but David and I have both cut down a lot and look at the alcohol percentage of everything we drink now. We still enjoy a drink but we’re changing our habits to healthier ones, feels good 😊 Xx
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It does feel good and I love that you’re Becks Blue-ing while your read the blog. The alcohol free range is amazing these days. I got to the point it controlled my life, I wasn’t any worse than anyone else in our village but it didn’t sit right with me. Who knows if this is forever but it feels like the right life choice for now. I’m wondering if any teds have joking your mums gang yet?!?! 🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🧸🫣😂😘 xx
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Found out who’s responsible for all the teddies today. It’s a really kind carer called Darius. He assures me they are not missing from other people’s rooms but they come from the activity room where they’ve been donated. He sees Windsor Ted as the boss man (!) and says my Mum is adopting all the others 🤣🤣. She got in a state last night and had a little injury taking some skin off her arm, so he’s spent more one to one time with her today and I’ve just had a call to say she’s been outside in the sunshine all afternoon chatting in a great mood so all good – phew! 😥 X
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Oh what a lovely man to do all that for her. Poor mum, glad she’s ok and out on the sunshine today. Bless her xx
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hi Julie , I haven’t drank alcohol for a long time and to be honest I’ve never felt strange about it , other people have had issues with it I’ve had people tell me it makes them uncomfortable that they are drinking and I’m not when trying to talk me into drinking but if you tell them to join you and not drink they soon leave you alone
well done you
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Well done you too !! 👏🏼👏🏼 I think I had massive issues with non drinkers when I was a drinker so that’s maybe why I feel uncomfortable… I would have thought I was weird… just part of the processing I guess, being on the other side of it. You’re right when you suggest they try it they do leave you alone 😂 I love not having any hangovers!! Xx
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I didn’t drink a lot but if I did it was the hangover that killed me so I decided it wasn’t worth it
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So much better without it! 😘
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Well done you. Be proud. I haven’t drunk any alcohol for years myself and although at times in the past it has been tempting for the wrong reasons, I haven’t touched and I don’t intend to.
I have a glass a cola when out. But I have not done that for a few years either. Mostly I am in a cafe than a pub.
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Thanks Liz and well done you too. Society revolves around it. It’s always tempting for the wrong reasons and I’m proud to choose not to now. We live next door to the village pub!!! X
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Thank you. I can’t imagine how hard it must be living next door to a pub. There are pubs near me. But not that close.
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I think as hard as it was, it also helped me overcome that part quite early on. The pub next door has the best range of alcohol free so I feel I can go in and have that instead. We used to “live” in there but I’m hardly in now!
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That’s good that they have a good range of alcohol free drinks for you to choose from when you want to go in.
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