Day 1491 a day in the garden, it’s finally our summer!!!

The forecast says it’s been 21°C but it feels hotter than that!

What a beautiful day.

We’ve had a very productive day despite the heat. I randomly spent the morning clearing out all of my clothes, tidying the drawers and wardrobes. I did some washing and got it hung out to dry. It really helped my head which wasn’t the best when I woke up.

Last night was amazing but mentally a lot more tough than I could have imagined.

I went to The Realignment Project with 3 of the girls I’ve been running with…. Gillian, Lynsey and Rachel two doors down. It was held on Luss Beach on the banks of Loch Lomond….Which was looking particularly pretty last night, after a beautiful day.

Here I am sitting on my yoga mat waiting for it to start.

The Realignment Project is run by two guys, James and Kenny. They run “outdoor coaching focussed workshops, helping you to realign and find your f****** awesomeness!”

It started at 7.30pm. They have great banter!

James asked us to write down something that we thought was holding us back and think about how we could change that negative feeling. There’s a lot more to it than that but that’s the gist.

We then did some yoga and settled down with our blankets over us for 20 minutes of breath work.

The breath work terrified me for some reason. I’m fine just breathing away but being told to focus on my breath induces a mild panic.

James leads the breath work and tells us we are safe, we are just breathing and he talks as we breathe to the rhythm he has set.

My fingers are tingling, I feel slightly dizzy, again this is all normal.

I start to cry. The tears start pouring down the sides of my face onto my yoga mat. I’m trying to hold it back, biting my lip trying to focus, I can’t let anyone see. To be fair we are all lying on our backs, on the beach, looking up to the beech tree overhead.

His words are really searching and they are stirring up emotions inside of me. I am not 100% content at the moment and there are things that need to change. He’s empowering us to make that change, step out of our comfort zone and go for it. The old “life is too short” thing. At least that’s what I hear.

I’m trying so hard to hold back the tears as we all slowly sit up. I can’t look at anyone and focus on getting into my cold water socks and gloves. Gillian is next to me and she spots me first. She gives me a big hug and says it’s ok as lots of people get upset during the breath work.

We start to do some warm up exercise pre cold water dip.

I swallow the tears as we head to the water…. This was the bit I was scared of but now my focus is to not start sobbing in front of everyone. 🤦🏻‍♀️😬

The girls I am with, and two others we went with, hold hands and walk into the water. It feels amazing. This is why I am here. I want to be able to go into the sea without the whole wetsuit palaver.

He talks us through our steps and tells us to stop. We stand still…. He asks us to think about our proudest moment in life. Feel that feeling.

We then all dunk under at the same time. Head under the water and back up. It feels amazing. The bottom lip is still wobbling away. I’m so bloody proud of myself for doing this but I hate that there always have to be tears. I am overwhelmed by emotion. I just need to have a bloody good cry.

I get a lovely hug from Lynsey and Rachel. I don’t want to bother anyone.

We “sit” with our shoulders under the water. I start to shiver uncontrollably. I start to breathe through it and the shakes pass. I look around and everyone is experiencing similar shivers.

I love being in the water. To be fair, it’s 11°C which is a lot warmer than any cold water I’ve been in recently.

We head out to the beach but I’m reluctant to leave and drag everyone back in. We need some photos of this!

There was no memo about wearing a black swimming costume 🩱 😂

I love that 3 of us are staring at the bottom…. 😂

Considering how emotional I actually feel at the moment…. Look at my eyes and that smile. That says it all.

The emotion doesn’t leave me. It wells up and I keep swallowing it.

We stopped at Starbucks on the way home for drive through hot chocolate. It was lovely!

I’m so grateful to the girls for asking me to go with them.

So yeah…. I felt really wiped out and drained when I woke up this morning. It was a lot to process but also the most wonderful thing to do.

I’m still feeling the effects of the cold too.

Back to today…. We pressure washed the main grass this afternoon.

Look at the difference!

The dogs ran out when we were finished and all 4 of them wee’d within a few seconds!!

Bhru is stalking Claire next door as she pressure washes too!

It’s lovely to sit in a “clean” garden. There’s still loads to do but a pressure wash makes it feel like a new garden.

It’s now 7pm and we have a fire started, planning to stay outside this evening. It’s not often we have a chance to do this.

A lovely day!

Stay safe everyone ☀️☀️☀️