I honestly can’t believe that I have gone 5 years and 2.5 months without alcohol.
Look at the stats…. I have not consumed 820,000 alcohol calories. Wow!
Now I’m not naive enough to realise that those of you who are quite happy with your drinking, just won’t get this at all.
Not drinking is still considered a bit weird. Alcohol is used to celebrate EVERY life event, in fact it’s fundamental to every life event.
The world revolves around it. It’s not a holiday until you’ve had a drink at the airport, not a holiday without a cocktails, not a wedding without a toast, not a birthday without a boozy party…. If you don’t drink then you don’t really fit in.
I chose to stop drinking as I didn’t like the person I became when I drank. I felt out of control. My life revolved around it. I couldn’t wait for it to be socially acceptable to have a drink on day off work. I was always ready for the next glass of wine. It would calm me and relax me and take away the fact that I was incredibly unhappy at work. I was a burnt out people pleaser who had no people pleasing left in me.
The only time I was happy was when I had a drink as it numbed it all.
I’d been on anti depressants for years. All the while drinking away…. Managing hangover, shame, regret and trying to please everyone the next day. No one would ever have known how unhappy I was. I was the life and soul of the party.
And then I started to cry and didn’t really stop.
It took me 3 months of being off sick from work, before I decided to do something about it and started Dry January 2019.
In the middle of February I was asked to become admin of the FB group After Dry January and that group of people were fundamental in keeping me going. They made it all ok. I’ve never even met these people.
I’ve only had two slip ups… once when the pubs closed for lockdown and the second when they reopened…. I drank as fast as I always did and felt awful the next day on both occasions.
It’s not for me.
Apart from being socially awkward these days and feeling a bit uncomfortable in my own skin at times…. It’s THE best thing I have ever done. For someone who desperately tried to fit in, I’ve finally chosen to stand out.
I am finally free.
The early mornings are my favourite time. When I feel fresh and bright and ready to take on anything before everyone else gets up.
By the afternoon I’m quite happy with my feet up writing down what is going on in my head.
How my life has changed.
How funny that I’m celebrating 1,900 days on the day that so many people round the world are partying on St Patrick’s Day.
The Scottish Dog Behaviourist did a play on this today.
We got up early this morning and went for a family walk.
It was beautiful sunshine but the sky was so dark in front of us. The power lines add to it…
I had a super productive morning. I’ve done a washing and filled the dishwasher. We’ve been to the garage and filled my tyres with air, hoovered the car, done a quick food shop as I’ve run out of Planthood meals. All of this before 11am. (unfortunately still have a tyre warning light on my dash but that’s for tomorrow!)
I had an early lunch as I was hungry and then had a bath.
I’ve decided to have an early afternoon and chill out and relax. I’m really tired after the excitement and exercise of the last few days. It’s been a great weekend.
My mind is still all over the travel thing and make the most of life every day.
Long may this continue.
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️
The Rambling Sloth 🦥 