Month: February 2024

Day 1392 a day of two halves 🥳🥹 I know I’ve used this title before 🙄

I had the best sleep. I woke at 6am, no tension and felt really happy. I was soooo looking forward to my day off. When Craig’s alarm went off at 7.30am, I ruffled his hair, said “guess who’s feeling better today?” And started to fill him in on Iceland’s latest eruption. I was buzzing. Poor Craig had barely opened his eyes and I’m shoving my phone into his face. 😆

I didn’t realise that it started yesterday. Thankfully it seems everyone was evacuated safely but this lava has moved faster than the last couple of eruptions and has covered the road junction for the Blue Lagoon. It’s awful for everyone involved as I’m sure the Blue Lagoon was heaving every day and it’s had to close a lot these last few months. Now it will need a new road. (I might have this all wrong but that’s my afternoon caffeine induced anxiety talking…)

I had a lovely morning. I went a run with Rachel two doors down. we ran for over 2 miles. I found it hard but I was so glad we did it.

I came back in to this…. The dog master.

I sat and had a coffee with Craig. Didn’t go for decaf…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Then back out for a much slower jog with Freya and Calaidh. Love how Freya always looks back at me when I take the camera out! (Phone… obvs 🙄)

I had my shower and set off for my appointment at Viv’s Nails and Beauty to get my toes and eyebrows done. I wittered away like a budgie to Viv. I told her I felt quite hyper today. 😆

I then went to the little gift shop for some birthday presents and spent AGES choosing what I wanted. Lovely to see Gayle but I’m meeting her tomorrow so I said we couldn’t talk about anything of any importance 😂😂

By that time it was around 1pm so I headed to Curiosity coffee shop and had an oat milk latte with a lovely bit of cake. What a way to break my fast.

It was soooo good, super tasty. The cake is like something Gran would make with marshmallows, glacé cherries 🍒 and coconut.

I have been churned up ever since. On the way home I felt the butterflies in my stomach so badly I felt sick. Really squeamish. In no way, shape or form was it anything to do with what I ate but I think the caffeine and sugar has hit me the wrong way.

I cleared out the kitchen, moving things around as it had become really cluttered, and put lots of things away in cupboards, but I can’t shake the squeam. I’ve sat down on the couch to watch tv to take my mind off it but I can’t find the tv remote anywhere…. It’s bright orange and not easily missed.

Tracey in Canada just sent me this… she has no idea that I spent the afternoon on looking for a remote!!

I literally just want to cry. I think I am creating a panic attack… oh there are the tears. It might take me a while but I can usually get to the bottom of things writing this.

I think the cheeriness from this morning came from a misplaced anxiety. I can’t seem to shake it this last few weeks. I think maybe I need to consider medication again. I don’t want to but can’t cope with this level of fear. Can’t see to type let alone find the orange telly buttons… I’ve just gone through to the bathroom to try to be sick. Nothings coming up but I’m retching. What a state to get into.

I used to live on coffee to get me through the day… and now 2 have given me heart palpitations.

I’ve had some work stuff to do today which has generated a bit of anxiety…. I’m making it bigger than it is and haven’t switched off to work like I usually do.

It’s been a jittery few weeks on and off.

Craig just called and it really helped to speak to him.

He has the orange tv remote in his pocket!!

That made me laugh…… I was going mad looking for it!

So yeah… honest blog again. Anxiety doesn’t want me to put it out but I will cause that’s what I do. I’ll just not be able to look anyone in the eye ever again 😂😂😂

How lovely is this card I found in the little gift shop.?

I need to take this advice.

The tv remote is now home. My life is complete.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1391 finally some exercise 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

I slept ok but woke with a thumping headache and was super tense. I’m fairly certain I’m doing this to myself. I’m still fighting something rather than relaxing into reality.

I felt surprisingly ok when I got up and got moving. The headache passed pretty quickly.

I tried to have a present moment shower but Anne McNerlin keeps popping up as it was her who told me about being present during your shower. It does make me laugh. 😆

I’ve felt ok today, a couple of wobbles, a bit of anxiety and some moments where I felt totally in control the anxiety was nothing like yesterday so I’m grateful for that. .

I know I’m over analysing everything. I’ve felt so low this week and I guess I worried about sinking back down the way. If I stop long enough to really focus. I know I am streets ahead of where I was. I don’t understand why I’ve felt so low. Think lots of people are the same just now.

So I’ve decided I need more exercise.

I met Gemma, from work, tonight down at Barassie beach and we did a 5K walk in the biting wind and light rain… don’t laugh at our selfie.

It was sooooo cold and I forgot to take my hat. It took us an hour but we walked into strong headwind on the way there. it was so much warmer when we turned back.

Gemma’s dog was bombing about on the beach having a blast.

Haha fashion oot the window!

Looking over to Troon harbour where the Arran ferries are sheltering from the next storm that’s coming.

Here’s our headlights as we left.

I’m really glad we did that. It would have been too easy to miss it tonight, the weather was pretty bad. I would never have done that by myself and it’s great to have company to exercise. I hope we can do it more. The beach is 11 minutes drive from my work. Can’t beat that.

So it’s my weekend now. I’m so looking forward to the time off after working all of last weekend. The weather is going to be pretty rough again but I’ll try to get out and about as much as I can. I know exercise helps my mood. I need to get back at it.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1390 an anxious Tuesday… 😧😱🫨 (just about to post and realised it’s Wednesday… leaving that in 😂😂)

I had the best sleep.

I went up to bed last night at 8pm and went to sleep just after 9pm….Out for the count until 5am when I woke up to remember something I hadn’t ordered at work…. The day continued in much the same vein.

I have a dodgy tum which could be due to the introduction of a vegan meal yesterday… 😂 I have butterflies in my stomach … I don’t feel quite right.

There was a car right behind me most of the way to work… I was super anxious driving while he was behind me. I didn’t relax at all and made silly mistakes.

It didn’t stop there, I was super anxious all morning, breathless and panicky at one point. It was coming over me in waves. I felt really jittery. Like I’d drank a pot of coffee. I felt an impending sense of doom that everything was going to go wrong.

I’d seen this first thing and was determined to use it all day…… out the window at the first sign of nerves.

So yeah it’s honestly not been the best day. I texted Craig about it all and the anxiety did calm a bit after I’d put “pen to paper”. I realised how crazy it all sounded.

I’ve not been this anxious in a while. I’ve not been right for a few days now.

Anxiety always leads me to feeling worthless. It kicks me when I’m down.

We just had a hammer on the window to say a dog had been hit by a car outside and that it looked like Khaleei. My legs went to jelly, I started shaking….. Craig confirms it’s not Khaleesi as she’s there beside him, but it turns out to be a neighbours dog. I hug Khaleesi tight. They track down the neighbours dog and it’s thankfully ok.

Today I seem to be collecting things to worry about. Enjoying the drama that anxiety brings. Fighting it rather than letting it pass.

I know that it will pass.

I made a Butternut Squash Thai infused curry for dinner with brown rice.

Khaleesi is licking her lips. It most definitely is “not for puppies”. That’s my stock phrase!

So tomorrow is a new day.

I’m fine it’s just been an off day.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1389 Happy 9th Birthday Calaidh! 🥳🥳🥳

Not gonna lie I was sitting with the blog completely stuck about what to say today…. Then I remembered it was Calaidh’s 9th birthday! Craig said he’s been wishing her happy birthday all day. Bad dog mumma forgetting.

He’s our puppy Calaidh!

In the famous tartan bed with her polar bear! It’s only famous as it had been in Craig’s family for years until either her or Bhruic completely destroyed it. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I can’t believe she is 9 already. We got her for Craig’s 40th. Here’s a few of her best pics… she’s a poser.

This next one makes me laugh as it feels like a withering look….. here she goes again… other photo….

Just throw the ball already!!

Here have it back… story of our lives 🎾🎾🎾

She’s a funny wee soul… obsessed with tennis balls, runs a mile of someone coughs or sneezes, annihilates any toy that comes near here but she’s the most cuddly girl.

Tried to get a selfie with her but it’s not working. Getting lots of cuddles though.

Anyhoo…. It saved me from talking about my day. 😂

Compared to how I felt yesterday, I have been really good. I’ve been focussed on the present moment.

I’ve not been fighting reality. That’s always helps. I’ve been a bit foggy minded but that’s ok, it’s been a busy few days. Gonna get a super early night tonight again.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1388 a wee day off for rest…. and peace 💜

Ok so I’m not in a great headspace today and I’m so glad I took a day off work.

I’ve needed rest and peace today.

Last year I managed to work right through the 11 days, but I knew I needed a break today. It’s 1.20pm and I’m still in my jammies. It’s wild out there. It actually feels way more like a sick day than a day off but that’s exactly what I need.

I’m really tearful. It’s time of the month so that is the main reason for raging hormones but I feel like I have a wrecking ball inside my head, bashing everything that I am and everything that I have and everything that I do… desperate to run away and just travel the world. Let’s face it everyone wants to spend their whole life on holiday 🙋🏻‍♀️😂

I lay in bed until 9ish and found a really good article by The Mighty, ten songs to help on mental health days and boy did I cry through some of them. Others were uplifting…. It did help to listen to them.

I explained it all to Craig this morning and cleared my head a bit.

So….. we’ve booked some holidays, first off, a week in South Wales, in July, for us and the 4 puppers. It’s a cottage that allows 4 dogs… it’s really cute and has a hot tub.

There’s a review that says “holidays with 4 dogs is not always easy” and that spoke to me as they had a great time staying here! The dogs are secured in the garden which is great and welcomed into the cottage. We obviously will clean more than usual when you stay somewhere with 4 dogs so it will be in as good condition when we leave. I hope it will be good weather in July.

I’ve blown the dogs out of all proportion in my head and feel like they are the reason we can’t go anywhere or do anything. Actually, separately, I’m fine with them all, it’s just collectively I have anxiety that 4 dogs is too many to take anywhere. So I need to do a bit of work on that.

I have the fear leaving them for someone else too as it seems like a burden, so in my head it’s a no win situation. I’m not angry but my mind is causing the same effect, creating boiling water.

Craig is obviously more than capable of handling them all and so this seems the perfect place.

Then… check us….we booked our next trip to Iceland for 6th December…. So this year we are already have more holidays to look forward to, than we’ve had in a long time. It’s great when you book with love holidays, you can pay up in monthly instalments.

It’s 4pm now and I’ve made a Coconut Curry that I’ve had delivered from Green Chef.

I have a portion ready for lunch and one for dinner tomorrow. I’m keen to eat more healithy again and to try some vegan meals for a change. I’m not a massive fan of meat at times, so we’ll see how this goes and if it’s rotten, I’ll go straight back to the meat.

Green Chef give you the recipes and ingredients and you put it all together. I have 3 codes for your first box for free and £10 off the second and third box if anyone is interested.

I feel a bit better now. I’m glad I took the day.

I definitely need to take life less seriously at times. Note to self.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1387 the last day of the Scottish Caravan Show!

Yay we are finally done!

I don’t remember being this tired last year but I’m sure I was.

I’ve had to give in and take the day off tomorrow. I honestly feel like I crawled home tonight. (It doesn’t help that my period started yesterday so I’m generally feeling pretty low anyway.) I found it hard to concentrate driving home, but had to negotiate the diversion too.

You’d never have guessed if you saw me today. All sweetness and light and bubbly until the last hour I reckon 😂 by that time I could hardly remember my own name 😂😂😂

It’s been a great 4 days meeting so many lovely people and I hope we generate lots of great business from it. Here we are at the start of the day….

And here we are at the end when we’re all packed up…. The van’s will be moved tomorrow.

It felt different for me this year, last year I was generally buzzing , this year was a bit quieter so while there was the buzz when chatting to someone, there was also a lot of time spent smiling and nodding at people as they went past. 😂

So I have to be honest and say I’m not in the best headspace and I accept that I need a rest.

I love this next one… “even if your head feels like a jar of angry bees….” A lovely way with words…

Hope you all had a great weekend and here’s to a great week ahead.

Early night for me!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1386 the third day at the Scottish Caravan, Motorhome and Mobile Home Show 💜🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I am sooooo tired.

I’m just home (it’s 5.30pm) and am so grateful to have got away a half hour early.

Our main road up to Glasgow is closed so there was a bit of a diversion on this weekend, all to be avoided. Glasgow Rangers were playing in Ibrox near where I was and the game was due to finish at 4.45am, so I got away just before that.

I went in early to get some photos of the Waverley which is moored at the Science Centre in Glasgow. It wasn’t the best light.

Can’t wait to get back out in her this year.

We’ve had a busy day today.

Much busier than the last two.

Lots of lovely people!!

I hit the wall after lunch about 2.30pm. I nipped into the loo and could gladly have slept leaning up against the mirror. 😂😂😂

There was a lovely sunset on the way home. The sky was stunning. The photos don’t do it justice.

I pulled into a lay-by on the diversion. The road was surprisingly quiet.

My jammies are on, my feet are up. I’ve been promised a takeaway and I’ll get a nice early night.

My knees aren’t sore at all despite all the standing around which is great news. Focus on the positives.

Only 5 more days of work till a break, I’m over half way through… woo hoo!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1385 day 2 of the Scottish Caravan Show 💜🚐💜

I had a great sleep… went to bed with straight hair and woke in a bit of a lather with very curly hair 👩🏻‍🦱

It’s really mild today… was 11°C this morning!

Not gonna lie… I am tired tonight. I hit a wall about 3pm.

Today was really good. We met lots of nice people again today, it was a good bit busier thankfully. I do what I do best and talk to everyone. Love chatting to people I don’t know and making them smile.

I spotted a guy I used to work this and it was SO lovely to catch up. We had a huge hug. 🤗 He was made redundant from my old work in 2015 so it’s been almost 9 years since I saw him. He just disappeared as people do there. He had no idea what had happened to me and was really surprised to hear I’d been off sick and then made redundant for anxiety and depression. Sorry my position had become redundant…. He said I was a really strong character and I laughed and told him times had changed 😂😂

It means a lot to me that he said that without even thinking. It reminds me of who I was back then. A different version of me.

Please don’t think I’m putting myself down here by reminiscing about what was. I know what I’ve gone through to get here and despite it all, I am truly grateful to have learned what I have about myself.

So yeah a lovely day. Buzzing to share who we are and what we do.

Only 2 more days of the show to go then an other 4 at work until a break. I’ve worked 5 so far and 6 to go so nearly there!

My parking sensors haven’t been working since Tuesday. They’ve been beeping really loudly all the time. Yesterday they started nee-nawing at me 😂 I videoed it to send to our auto electrician. He was so kind to turn up at the end of the show today, as he lives nearby, to try to fix it. He sprayed all the sensors with some alcohol to dry them out. He realised that one of them was missing altogether and it had fallen back in through the hole. It was constantly beeping as it was picking up the body of the car! It’s pretty obvious when you think about it. so gaffer taped back in for now and all good. He’ll glue the next time he’s passing.

The car was also in the garage on Wednesday for brakes which turned out to be no fault found. Happy with that.

Hope you all have a great weekend and here’s hoping for 2 busy and fast show days!

Stay safe everyone 💜♥️💜

Day 1384 the Scottish Caravan, Motorhome and Mobile Home Show 2024 day 1 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💜

What a beautiful start to the day… I spotted this Scotland flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 above the house just before I left… of course I had to jump out and take a photo!

It was quite spectacular 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

It the first of 4 days with Tartan at the Caravan Show on the SEC.

We have our customer’s purple van in our stand! 💜💜 it’s getting lots of attention for its colour.

Our other Fiat Ducato is on the BC Motorhomes stand round in the next hall.

I’ve had plenty time to wander about the other vans today too. It’s been surprisingly quiet. We are in the same location as last year but the hall behind us is open too so I think lots of people are walking into that hall rather than coming along our corridor. Hope the next 3 days are busier.

I’ve still really enjoyed it. I did a “come and see us” video for the Tartan Camper FB page, one take, don’t overthink it…. Post it, done!

So yeah, home, pub for a wee 0% G &T and now making dinner… only 7 more working days to go before I get a break 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Head wise I’m good because I’m busy and doing what I do best…. Talking to people!!!

Stay safe everyone 💜💜💜