I had the best sleep. I woke at 6am, no tension and felt really happy. I was soooo looking forward to my day off. When Craig’s alarm went off at 7.30am, I ruffled his hair, said “guess who’s feeling better today?” And started to fill him in on Iceland’s latest eruption. I was buzzing. Poor Craig had barely opened his eyes and I’m shoving my phone into his face. 😆

I didn’t realise that it started yesterday. Thankfully it seems everyone was evacuated safely but this lava has moved faster than the last couple of eruptions and has covered the road junction for the Blue Lagoon. It’s awful for everyone involved as I’m sure the Blue Lagoon was heaving every day and it’s had to close a lot these last few months. Now it will need a new road. (I might have this all wrong but that’s my afternoon caffeine induced anxiety talking…)

I had a lovely morning. I went a run with Rachel two doors down. we ran for over 2 miles. I found it hard but I was so glad we did it.

I came back in to this…. The dog master.

I sat and had a coffee with Craig. Didn’t go for decaf…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Then back out for a much slower jog with Freya and Calaidh. Love how Freya always looks back at me when I take the camera out! (Phone… obvs 🙄)

I had my shower and set off for my appointment at Viv’s Nails and Beauty to get my toes and eyebrows done. I wittered away like a budgie to Viv. I told her I felt quite hyper today. 😆

I then went to the little gift shop for some birthday presents and spent AGES choosing what I wanted. Lovely to see Gayle but I’m meeting her tomorrow so I said we couldn’t talk about anything of any importance 😂😂

By that time it was around 1pm so I headed to Curiosity coffee shop and had an oat milk latte with a lovely bit of cake. What a way to break my fast.

It was soooo good, super tasty. The cake is like something Gran would make with marshmallows, glacé cherries 🍒 and coconut.

I have been churned up ever since. On the way home I felt the butterflies in my stomach so badly I felt sick. Really squeamish. In no way, shape or form was it anything to do with what I ate but I think the caffeine and sugar has hit me the wrong way.

I cleared out the kitchen, moving things around as it had become really cluttered, and put lots of things away in cupboards, but I can’t shake the squeam. I’ve sat down on the couch to watch tv to take my mind off it but I can’t find the tv remote anywhere…. It’s bright orange and not easily missed.

I literally just want to cry. I think I am creating a panic attack… oh there are the tears. It might take me a while but I can usually get to the bottom of things writing this.

I think the cheeriness from this morning came from a misplaced anxiety. I can’t seem to shake it this last few weeks. I think maybe I need to consider medication again. I don’t want to but can’t cope with this level of fear. Can’t see to type let alone find the orange telly buttons… I’ve just gone through to the bathroom to try to be sick. Nothings coming up but I’m retching. What a state to get into.

I used to live on coffee to get me through the day… and now 2 have given me heart palpitations.

I’ve had some work stuff to do today which has generated a bit of anxiety…. I’m making it bigger than it is and haven’t switched off to work like I usually do.

It’s been a jittery few weeks on and off.

Craig just called and it really helped to speak to him.

He has the orange tv remote in his pocket!!

That made me laugh…… I was going mad looking for it!

So yeah… honest blog again. Anxiety doesn’t want me to put it out but I will cause that’s what I do. I’ll just not be able to look anyone in the eye ever again 😂😂😂

How lovely is this card I found in the little gift shop.?

The tv remote is now home. My life is complete.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️