Day 1412 busy leap year day at work and flying to Bristol! ✈️

It’s February 29th 2024… a leap year!!

Love this from Donna Ashworth.

Look for the light…. That came up in Kinesiology last night too… another coincidence.

Another restless sleep last night… up at 2am and again at 5am. Result is I’m shattered now and I’ve got 6 hours of travelling to go… 😂 not complaining…. Will try to sleep on the plane.

Work was busy again today and flew by and I managed to get everyone to wear their “Tartan” gear… which is mostly black obviously 🙄 and we got a team photo prior to the handover of two of our biggest van builds. We don’t do that often enough. We should celebrate our big wins but we’re already on to the next 😂

I finished up at 3 as I had an hour to take back. Now I’m ready far too early!

Craigie is running me to the airport and I’m flying to Bristol where Helen is picking me up and driving me down to her house in Exmouth. That’s my home for the next 4 days flying back up late Monday.

I’ve packed as little as I can but it still feels like way too much.

It’s funny how all I ever want to do is travel and yet I’m apprehensive about doing it. I’m not a fan of flying… I’d much rather be on the train.

Please don’t go Mum….

It would break your heart! Calaidh looks so sad!

Those holes in the blanket over the couch were made by “someone” trying to bury a bone the last time I went away overnight… what could possibly go wrong this time?!?

I’m off to create meaningful moments as SC Lourie says.

We left at 5.30pm…. We are only 20 minutes or so from the airport and my flight isn’t until 8.20pm…. my phone flashed and said go to gate.

GO TO GATE?!?!!!??

I’m not even there yet… waves of anxiety…

Im not late in the slightest, no idea why it said go to gate 😂😂

I’m loving my new case from Tripp. Colour…. Watermelon!

Won’t lose it anytime soon…. I’m in Starbucks having a wee decaf coconut milk latte and a blondie for dinner. Had last nights vegan dinner for lunch and I’m still stuffed.

Only another hour until the flight. My stomach is doing somersaults but I will be fine and I will enjoy the travel. I know I will.

There seems to be more people in the speedy boarding queue than the main queue tonight.. I just heard a lady in the speedy queue say it’s not very speedy anymore 😂 I used to be obsessed with speedy boarding when I travelled with work but the place is not going without me so I don’t see the point in paying extra for it… I did pay extra for my watermelon cabin case though 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

You can tell I’m just passing the time by rambling. Flight’s just been called!

That’s me almost off. I’m calmer now that I’m here.

See you soon Helen!

Stay safe everyone ♥️✈️♥️

Day 1411 a busy Wednesday!

Not the best sleep last night as I woke a few times but I’m feeling much better today. The headache has gone, thankfully!

It was a good day at work today. Super busy but not too much, got loads done and didn’t stop. Love days like that.

We got our oven cleaned today…… look at the before and after. Our oven has been desperately needing done for years now. Look at the difference!!!

I know I should be embarrassed by this… I am but there are two people that live in this house and one uses the oven way more than the other. 😂 that means he cooks more so I should be embarrassed by that…. But hey… I’m more impressed at how quickly they get it back to looking like new.

If you’re local, here is the number…. I am AMAZED at the results.

So I made the last of my Green Chef meals tonight and couldn’t even face eating it.

The power went off at work today so I couldn’t use the microwave for lunch so I ordered a lentil soup… AND chips and cheese. No wonder I couldn’t eat dinner.

I had kinesiology at 5.30pm tonight to try and settle this racing mind of mine.

And this…. Is what it’s all about. Listening to your inner voice.

So my bags are packed. I feel like I have far too much but I’ve got layers in case it’s cold and it’s 4 days. My wee TRIPP case is full and I still have walking shoes to squeeze in!

I’m just gonna leave you the last one from Rachel two doors down.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1410 total weather change!

After such a lovely day yesterday, the cold, wet and windy weather seemed really dreich. Such a contrast!

I had a lovely start to the day when I went into Claire’s, to feed her cats, as they were away.

I managed to see both boys which is quite unusual as they usually hide when I’m there.

They were right out this morning, to see their Auntie Julie. not the best photo but here they are… 😻😻

Gorgeous boys. I sat and had a wee chat with them, all before 7am!! I was also very lucky and got some lovely, purple tulips.

A lovely way to start the day. Obviously I’d been out the back with our girls and fed them too. Julie DoLittle talks to the animals. 😂

I’m still good but have had a thumping headache all day.

The monthly curse (check the old lady definition 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄😂) has hit with a vengeance this month. I couldn’t think straight this morning at all. It was like thinking through cotton wool. I shook my head a few times to try and clear it…. Not that that helped at all! 😂

I still feel good mentally despite feeling a bit rotten physically.

My weekend with the dolphins had showed me how important it is for me to do things like that. It made such a difference to my head.

I’d been really low for most of February and the trip at the weekend has totally lifted my spirits.

I loved every minute of it, the buzz, the excitement, the camaraderie, the exploration, being outdoors, on the sea, the sunshine, the view, the snow capped mountains… all of it.

I made another lovely Green Chef dinner tonight….. that looks nothing like the photo!

I have to say it tasted very lovely. Even Craig had some and we both really enjoyed it. My cashew satay sauce was very dark.

I’ve tried to pack my flight suitcase as I’m off to Exmouth, to stay with my friend Helen, this weekend. My head’s not in the packing malarkey tonight so I’ve sat down to write this and made a list. That may help!

So feet up now. Watching “My Son” on Nextflix. It’s really good.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1409 a lovely sunny Monday! ☀️☀️☀️

I’ve been so giddy today… giggly, excitable, saying the wrong words, tripping over stuff but mostly laughing…. I’m still on a dolphin high.

I slept well, though I had bad stomach cramp when I woke up.

The voice in my head started the anxiety spin…. it was so bad that I should phone in sick, I needed a day in bed. I made myself feel worse, creating drama around it… how would I manage the day when I felt like this, what if I cried… (like, no one would even be shocked by now but still that worried me 🤦🏻‍♀️😂)

I switched off the alarm, got out of bed and got on with my day and managed it just fine. I haven’t felt great. My head is thumping too but I’ve had a great day, despite how I’ve felt.

The snow moon was lovely this morning.

😂😂😂😂😂

It looked lovely, honest.

We’ve had a crazy day at Tartan HQ. It was super busy. Lots of people coming and going. No time to finish one thing before the next thing started… but it was all good.

I felt proud of the way I handled things that would have sent me into a tailspin normally. I felt happy and calm.

It has been an absolutely stunning day today. Pure blue sky and a huge ball of sunshine… and some warmth. We actually had the door to the portacabin open ALL afternoon. It was cold but it really felt like spring. It was lovely.

I’ve also had a couple of massive coincidences today which have made me smile. A chat with a couple about de-icer and they opened the door to their van and a 5l tub of de-icer fell out… we all laughed!

Looking for a particular spoon in the dishwasher in the dark… I put my hand in and lifted it straight out without even trying.

I love stuff like that. Makes me grin.

I stayed at work tonight to wash Bertie the Beetle for the first time. It looks like a new car!

It was a lovely sunset when I went to leave at 5.45.

So a good day. I have 3 sleeping pups at my feet with the 4th one hiding somewhere else and I will definitely be getting an early night. Story of my life eh?! 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1408 a lovely Sunday still high on the dolphin buzz 🐬🐬🐬🐬

The dolphins are my top emoji. Figures.

I’m still buzzing from yesterday. My dolphin reel on FB has had 1.6k views which is a loads more than any other reel I have done.

It still only has 29 likes though but we can’t have everything 😂😂😂

I have literally just seen a FB post that said travel now, don’t put it off, don’t use money as the excuse as you will always find a way, life is short…..

I laughed as Craig walked in the living room and he asked what was funny….. I’m seeing this everywhere…. I thought I’d saved it…. It’s not there now. I can’t find it anywhere.

How strange.

So I’ve had a lovely day today.

I slept like a log and stayed in bed for a while. I spent an hour and a half clearing out photos on my phone. I went from 61.940 photos to 60,192 and videos from 1580 to 1509… I have a ways to go! 😂😂😂

I spent a bit of time on my Clever Fox self care journal. I’ve not been able to look at it while I felt low.

So back at it today and looking forward to reviewing my day.

I am so grateful that I got to see the dolphins yesterday. It was such a special trip.

It’s really lifted my mood and given me purpose again.

I’ve written a list of all the trips and events that I have booked or planned this year. Instead of thinking I have so few holidays to take,

I’ve added all of my Friday days off onto my holidays and in 2024 I have 73 days holiday. Now how amazing is that?!?!?

We had a trip out to B&Q today and I was treated to a vegan KFC 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 we just wanted a quick fix but I couldn’t order the chicken. The meal wasn’t the best but it also wasn’t the worst. You shouldn’t really expect a company that specialises in chicken to have mastered the art of veggie or vegan food. Not sure what’s going on there but I’m still not wanting meat.

We actually went out into the garden for a bit…. I swept the decking which was so badly needing done. I should have taken a before…

We sat out on the deck for a bit and I listened to the sound of the birds. It’s was so still and quiet and the birdsong was lovely.

I am calm.

It’s so lovely to be calm after the last few weeks of anxiety.

My trip yesterday was the perfect medicine.

I may just leave you with some dolphins… be rude not to. 😂

There are still another 900 off to go but yesterday’s were definitely the best.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1407 Dolphin Spotting with Clyde Charters 🐬🐬🐬🐬

Wow.

I have just had THE most amazing day! Honestly just out of this world.

This is what life is all about for me. I felt pretty rotten when I woke up this morning. I’d had a restless sleep from about 4.30am and I felt pretty grumpy when I got up and honestly, my head was raging and I was fairly tearful.

A perfect day to have something different to do and not just be stuck in the house.

I’d booked with Clyde Charters for a special dolphin spotting cruise they were running, leaving James Watt Dock Marina at 11.30 today.

I left in plenty time as my anxiety will always make me do…. Here my round trip today.

Just as well I left early as it wasn’t the easiest place to find straight away…. I parked in the marina and set off to find them.

I couldn’t see any obvious signs so I ended up looking them up on the sat nav and walked in that direction!

I spotted a guy near to the end of the walkway and asked him. He laughed as he said they’d had the same issue and he was actually standing in front of the sign that said “Clyde Charters Meeting Point”. I got chatting to them, as I do…. They were really lovely and wishing 5 minutes found out they were precious clients of Craig at the Scottish Dog Behaviourist

😳

How funny!!! Veronika sent Craig a photo of us together… he said it took him ages to figure out how he was seeing me in a photo from her…. It is a very small world!

They were so kind and kept me company on the trip. Everyone else was lovely too and as Craig says, I’ll chat to anyone… I was in my element. I love meeting new people.

Here’s our boat!

The Clyde Charters team were super friendly too and had a gorgeous 6 month old German Shepherd with them.

Puppy and dolphins?!?! Dream day.

We set off up the coast and didn’t even get as far as Gourock before we were joined by 4 dophins… including the baby “Clyde”.

They were with us for about 2 and a half hours and I can’t tell you how magical it was. So I’m just going to have to blast a few of the 963 photos I took today…. And that is no exaggeration!! If you’re on FB please go and have a look at my first “live”, big girl pants on for that. Craig is always telling me to get on camera… so I thought now’s as good a time as any! I’ve also shared a reel and there are more to come. 🙄😬😘

Oh one thing I would say is check out the scenery and not just the dolphins… there’s snow on the mountains, barely a ripple on the Clyde and the odd Ali Cat CalMac ferry passing!

As I said the scenery was stunning as well so I did take a few shots without dolphins too.

The docks had some stunning reflections.

What a truly magical day.

A real bucket list tick ✅

Memories for a lifetime. ✅

Wow.

Hope you’re all having a lovely Saturday. Will try not to talk about dolphins forever. Though can’t promise.

🐬🐬🐬🐬

Stay safe everyone 💙💙💙

Day 1406 a lovely Friday day off 🌧️ ❄️ ☀️

I’ve had a lovely wee day to myself.

The best sleep again…. It was just the best, from 10 through to 7am. Not a blink in the night.

I felt really refreshed and ready to start my dog walk Friday.

First up a dog jog with Bhru in the rain. Bless her wee face.

Next up Calaidh and Freya. It wasn’t pouring with rain this time. We walked mostly but we did jog for a bit.

They had a good run about in the field.

They love my new dry trainers.

I saw my first daffodil.

The Khaleesi’s turn.

Spooky trees through a Mali’s ears. ♥️

We saw this lovely rainbow.

It was only minutes before we were hammered with hailstones. Poor Khaleesi was petrified.

We got back home and dried off… we were drenched.

I got ready and headed up to Asda for a food shop. Not been to Asda in years. I got lots of veggies and vegan food. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’m just not into meat just now at all.

I came home, put the shopping away and made two pots of lentil soup. One with bacon and one without. Check me.

I know fine well I will probably end up eating the one with meat too!

The sun came out and I spent a half hour outside with the dogs… it was warm in the sunshine.

I made little videos of them. I shouted one of them to come while the other 3 stood still. Calaidh was the only one that broke ranks when she shouldn’t have but only because it’s all about the ball for her. 🎾

Oh I also decided to book one of the Waverley cruises. I’d been looking at a 3 day cruise…

I wanted to do the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday but I can’t get accommodation in Kyle of Lochalsh AT all.

So that meant I could only do the Monday. So it’s all booked. Gonna be a VERY long day from 7am to 10.45pm… and that’s without the drive to and from the Glasgow Science Centre! That said… I’m soooo looking forward to it. I should start to list all the things I have planned this year to remind me of how many exciting things I am doing.

So it’s been a good day, I’ve enjoyed myself. I’m calm and relaxed and looking forward to my wee dolphin 🐬 trip tomorrow. The forecast is very cold but sunny.

Currently typing this with a Bhruic on my knee….

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1405 yay it’s my weekend!!

Just after saying that I had this sleep thing sussed… last night happens.

It wasn’t THAT bad I did fall back to sleep down on the couch, after 2am, but the fitbit says no you didn’t… it’s not always right. 😂

I felt super tired this morning and a bit unsettled and tearful… again…. 🙄

I had a good chat with Ellison when I got to work and she put my head back on my shoulders.

I actually walked back from the chat with a calmness that I carried all day. Sometimes the noise gets so loud. Jeez I sound like a crazy person.

This next one is why I write the blog. I need daily silence to put my mind at rest.

I try to make sense of my troubled thoughts and replace them with peace and strength.

And this is exactly it….

I am in too much of a hurry. mostly because I keep seeing things like this….

I need to feel the fear and do it anyway.

I have no plans this weekend.

I know for so many people that seems like heaven.

Unfortunately for me… it stretches before me like a big hole in the ground. (I’m sure I’ve stolen that quote from a show!)

I hate the thought of having nothing to do.

So… I’ve booked myself onto a Clyde Charters Dolphin Spotting Tour on Saturday. It’s £49.99 for 3 to 4 hours of dolphin spotting on the River Clyde, sailing out from Greenock. Something a wee bit different and easily accessible from home.

I’m a bit nervous I look like the sad, lonely wifie on the boat as it will be way smaller than the Waverley, but I’d much rather do that than housework.

Life is for living.

Always with this run out of time thing….

So get up and comfies on.. I’m relaxed.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1404 a very rainy Wednesday 🌧️🌧️🌧️

So I chose not to sit on a cactus 🌵 today.

I had an “excellent” sleep again according to Fitbit.

I don’t often get such high praise for my sleep though I do seem to have it nailed the old sleep this month. Must be all the anxiety wearing me out.

So thankfully the anxiety has passed… left behind is still some unsettledness and I’m using that word. I’m still creating a bit of pain for myself…. Tension building up.

I also feel I have no filter. Words are just tumbling out me at a rate of knots.

I’ve given Karen Salmansohn a follow as I like this next one.

And this…. From the Power of Wordz…. Wow.

I just don’t know how to do it yet. I firmly believe change is going to slap me in the face.

Let go and focus on what you can control.

I’m still not letting go enough.

I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many people I know are going through tough times just now. It’s another sign that you only live once.

Absolutely…..

But I hear this as well….

And also this….. it’s very hard but I have done this in the past. Can’t take too much drama these days.

And finally this….. I need to stop being angry and sad.

I love that my Fb is set up to let me read all of this.

I’m off to meet the Crochet Hookers in the pub now. I’m still sitting in my work gear. I had cheese and crackers for dinner… not the best but it suited me tonight.

Jeez I sound mumpy don’t I?!?! I don’t mean to. I’ve had a good day. I just can’t shake this feeling just now. I should sleep on it some more, that’s a plan!!

And it did actually pour with rain this morning!!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1403 not much to say about the day Tuesday 😂

I did not sleep well last night for the first time in ages.

I’d had a can of Diet Coke for lunch… you’d like to think that one can of Coke didn’t cause it but I was sooo antsy in my sleep. I tossed and turned like a tossy turney thing. I didn’t feel rested when I woke but Fitbit reckoned I had an alright sleep.

I feel bored today. Like time has just stopped and I’m waiting for it to pass. I can’t wait into I can get back into bed. I still feel quite irritable too.

At lunch I saw this…

This made my shoulders relax a bit, it made me smile. It’s so true.

😂😂😂😂😂 so much so I’ve just put it on the blog twice…. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I definitely need to listen to this…

I love this next one.

I’m not sure at what point I realised it but nothing matters to me like it used to. I no longer crave the bigger house, the better car, then nights out, the drink… give me a phone to take photos and a beautiful view and that’s more than enough.

I’ve needed to quieten my head today. It’s not been bad…. Just not where I want it to be.

I’m listening….

I’ve tried to take conscious action today. All too often my head kicks off the way it always used to.

I need to forgive myself for not being the perfect version of myself every day.

Back home and I made chipotle lentil tacos for dinner tonight…. I have to say they look nothing like they did on the recipe card but they tasted really lovely.

They only took about 20 minutes which is much more like it. They were quite spicy but super tasty.

Not much else to report just now. I still have to clean the kitchen and get into comfies but I’m relaxed. Will get an early night too.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1402 another Monday in the life ♥️

I’m still doing good.

A couple of wee wobbles today but nothing I didn’t bounce back from. There’s been anger and irritability but also a marked change in my behaviour in other ways.

I love when Kinesiology kicks in and I feel myself responding differently to certain situations.

I had an amazing sleep…. 9.30am until 6.10am without really waking at all. I stirred a couple of times and felt really hot and sweaty when I woke but it was such a fab sleep. I love that!

I’ve had a very productive evening so far.

I took Calaidh for a walk so I could call Mum when I got back. Multitasking. It was a freezing cold walk. A right chill in the wind.

Didn’t help that I had my hand up to the phone the whole walk. 😂

I really want to make a point of walking after work though.

I came home and made dinner. (I probably shouldn’t have eaten a packet of crisps and bag of mini Twirl’s on the way home in the car. I’m eating too much junk).

It’s called Peanut Marinated Smoked Tofoo Bhudda Bowl.

This is for my lunch tomorrow..

It’s meant to look like this…. It is super tasty. I loved it!

Could it be possible that I could be a Tofu convert?! Will see.

So a good day. Still have the dishwasher to empty and refill to tidy up my cooking mess. Then I can relax.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1401 who’d a thunk it and a roundup of stats!

On day 1359 I put out my blog as usual… the next day I called it day 1400 and only a few people noticed… I had NO idea why I had just jumped 40 days. Thanks to clever Rachel two doors down for making me realise I wasn’t crazy… on the 24 hour clock 1400hours comes straight after 1359!! Duh…. 🙄 😂

I usually do a stats roundup on the significant days of the blog. There was way too much to talk about yesterday. I still can’t get my head around the fact that I have written this for almost every single one of these 1401 days… give or take.

It helps my head so much.

It challenges my head on the days I can’t talk about something that’s really bothering me.

But most of all, it’s a blessing to be able to think through my day and make sense of it.

I’m feeling so much calmer after Kinesiology last week. We have taken the sting out of the urgency for change. I am back in alignment for now.

I have a great life. I have a lovely husband and 4 lovely dogs. We have a lovely house and live in a lovely village and I have the luxury of only working 4 days a week. I used to dream of that kind of freedom.

I used to dream of the job I would have and now I have it.

There are days when all of that implodes on me and creates so much stress that I just want to run and hide.

I expect FAR too much of myself and yet I’m proud of that as that is what makes me, me.

I have done all of this with the help of counselling and Kinesiology and the support of everyone around me.

And most of all because I refuse to give into it.

1,871 days without alcohol
1,271 days without anti depressants although always consider them when it gets bad
467 on HRT, not really sure what this has done for me but hey, I’ll keep on.
413 fasting, my newest fad ( I say that and I recognise I’m pretty committed when I settle on something 😂)

So why have I learned in the last 100 days… hmmmm I’ve had some tough days but still nothing like I experienced before. I think there’s always the fear that I will head back down there. Maybe I’m really not a fan of winter.

I’m not missing the van at all, that surprises me but also helps me to know I made the right decision selling her. I’m super excited to explore again in 2024 and I’m so looking forward to some sunshine.

I will miss campsites randomly…. There’s a lovely camaraderie between campers. I will miss that, just not enough to keep running a van. Sure I can get a wee tent if I miss it too much. 😂

I’m feeling really good today. Positive about the future. Grateful for everything that I have and grateful to finally be calm and not want to head for the hills.

I want to explore the whole world and experience the cultures everywhere. I know that I will get to do this and will enjoy every minute of it… it just doesn’t have to happen tomorrow.

So back to today… a run with Calaidh this morning in my new trainers. DRY FEET!!! Yay. Calaidh approves.

When I got home we went to Mocha Jak’s for brunch.

I had the Honey, Pesto & Walnut Avocado Stack which is new! It was really lovely.

Back home and Craig watched the football while I had a wee rest and watched some episodes of Manifest on the iPad, lying on the bed.

I then took Freya out a walk. She’s chuffed with the trainers too.

I did some training with her, she’s a good girl.

It’s been a lovely sunny day. It started to rain when I walked Freya but it’s the first day I’ve been out with a sweatshirt and a bodywarmer and not felt frozen. ☀️

So yeah, 1.401 days…. Bring it on the rest.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1400 a real family kinda day (usually do stats recap on a big number day but will do them tomorrow!)

I woke up in a some lovely pink floweriness!

My old room is way prettier than it ever was when it was mine. I had a lovely sleep, went to bed at 9pm, never even heard mum and dad come up to bed! Slept until 7am and decided to go for an early morning walk before everyone got up.

The sunrise sky looked lovely.

Could I find the key to the front door to get out?!? Eh naw?!? I was locked in. Thankfully mum got up just in time. I had the loveliest walk!!

Really sadly… where am I standing used to be a field. I’m looking down from the extension of mum and dad’s street which now goes up into the field. There are massive housing estates built in these fields now.

The sunrise was lovely.

Everything looks so bright on the morning sun.

I walked all the way up to the high road… we never used to be able to do that… new housing estates mean new paths. Silver lining I guess.

The Pentland Hills looked beautiful.

I took this photo to capture my mood… I was buzzing, I felt so alive. I NEVER listen to music while I walk but I have found a band called Hollow Coves, I use them for reels a lot and find their music really happy and uplifting. It was lovely to walk to.

There were lots of snowdrops.

My friend Helen grew up down this road but I didn’t have time to walk as far as her old house.

Back in a bit of field that still exists looking over to Turnhouse hill.

So mum had organised a wee surprise for me this morning… I was meeting some of my aunties and one of my cousins for coffee this morning. At such short notice, not everyone she asked could make it. We did some shopping first. Here’s mum outside Penicuik’s answer to the little gift shop. Love that I made her pose outside it! 😂

Here she is outside the Penicuik Storehouse where we end for coffee.

We met my Auntie Christine and Auntie Dy and my wee cousin Fee and her youngest son. It was soooo lovely to see them all. It’s been way too long! When I was a kid we spent every Sunday together and now we haven’t met up in over 5 years… maybe more.

We had the loveliest catch up.

Then we headed off to South Queensferry with Dad, to meet Craig and my brother, sis in law and my nephew, for Mum’s birthday lunch. It’s her actual birthday tomorrow. Of course pics first!

The iconic Forth Rail Bridge.

The three Forth crossings though you have to really squint to see the two road bridges!

The Forth Road Bridges.

A crow!

This is the view looking out the door of our restaurant today… Thirty Knots.

Mushroom tacos for me… still rocking this vegan thing….

That is… until I get to dessert. Then dairy all the way with a Salted Caramel and Scottish tablet Sunday. Unfortunately the Scottish tablet was just fudge pieces but it was still lovely.

We were back home by 5pm.

I’ve had a lovely time but I’m back in my comfies with my feet up sitting in silence 😂😂😂 actually yawning my head off. A great few days with lots of catching up!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1399 train trip to Edinburgh for Auntie’s 70th birthday lunch! 🥳🎉🎂🎁🎊

First of all I need to cover the psychic night last night.

So…, parts of the floor show actually blew me away. They hit the spot with everything they said to one girl, literally yes, yes, yes, yes, yes…. One of them being her name. That was pretty fascinating to watch.

I’ve figured that the key to a good psychic reading is… either they hit you between the eyes with everything they say… or you have to be on the ball with people that you know have passed. I fall into the latter category. Most definitely not on the ball…. I didn’t connect with anything the psychic said to me. Until this morning…. The first person who came through to me was someone who died of lung cancer or COPD, there was a gravelly woman’s voice speaking through her.

Only person I could think of with breathing difficulties was my Grandpa and she apologised but said it’s definitely a woman. I drew a blank. Until this morning. 😂

I wish I had clicked at the time as I would love to have heard what she might have said to me. The lovely lady who loved the spooky trees on my blog. 😘 I think about her a lot and miss her even although we weren’t that close. She was my mother in laws friend. Just wish I’d been thinking of her last night. 🤦🏻‍♀️😘

So the rest of my reading was pretty much the same… a young woman who died of breast cancer? No… did I know the names… Nancy, Mary, Margaret, Jane…. No but they could be relatives on mum’s side. Someone who died or diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis… could have been Nana without the rheumatoid… and did I know the names Robert, Ian, William and a whole list of other older names. Again kind of as Nana’s brothers were William and Ian but by then I was too disappointed to believe anything.

The tarot cards said that money was good for me right now, it’s coming from lots of places… I’ll take that… but I had to watch as someone might try to steal some of it or something from me.

I was also about to suffer from lots of stress and depression soon so I have to trust the universe, which I do anyway. I’m taking the last few weeks as being my low point and believe I’m already working my way back out of it. She also said I had to take care of myself.

So believe psychics or not, I’ve been there and done it with no real desire to rush back.

When you suffer from anxiety, someone quick firing questions at you, is a sure fire way of emptying your mind!!

I’m sceptical but that last floor show was just spectacular. She can’t have known any of that.

Another great sleep last night and up early to get ready for my overnight trip to Mum and Dad’s.

I have Auntie Marion’s 70th birthday lunch today at Swanston Brasserie on the outskirts of Edinburgh and I’m getting the train to Edinburgh Park where I’ll meet mum and dad. Craig has to work today as does my brother so it’s a smaller family contingent today.

Tomorrow we have Mum’s birthday lunch so I’ll stay over and Craig will join us in South Queensferry at Thirty Knots.

Oh forgot to show my haircut photo from yesterday… this was it before…

You can’t really see it here but I’ve two inches off it’s so much more manageable!

I had time to wander round Glasgow so took some photos… of course I did.

This is Glasgow Central Station.

This is a street 😂😂 think it’s St Vincent Street but my memory ain’t what it used to be on all things Glasgow. 😂

This is our famous Duke of Wellington statue being typically Glaswegian. The cones are a bit different to normal.

This is George Square. The centre of Glasgow city.

Glasgow Queen Street station is on George Square.

My train is leaving from the low level platform, not been down here in years! It’s only because I’m meeting mum and dad on the outskirts of Edinburgh so I can’t get the express.

Only NINETEEN stations to go. 😂

Actually as I type this there’s a lot less… I am the blue dot.

There’s my train heading away towards Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh.

Here’s the Brasserie on the slopes of the Pentland Hills.

So we had a lovely meal. I had cauliflower and red pepper curry with sticky rice which was just rice!

Mum had roasted butternut squash quiche.

Here’s my lovely dessert…. I had raspberry and pistachio semifredo for dessert. It was soooo good. I had no idea what semifredo was…. It’s like a solid semi frozen block (who knew 😂😂) with the pistachio and raspberries through it.

Auntie Marion treated us all to lunch which was really lovely of her.

After lunch we went for a walk up through the historic Swanston Village behind the Brasserie. Robert Louis Stevenson used to stay there. In all the years we’ve had family meals at the Brasserie, I’ve never seen the village.

It’s a lovely wee place with quaint, thatched cottages.

When you turn around and look back down the hill you get beautiful views over Edinburgh. Here’s Edinburgh Castle.

And Arthur’s Seat.

My first gorse bush of the year!

It was a lovely walk.

Back out to Penicuik and dad drove me round all the new housing estates beside them. Penicuik is growing fast!

We now have our feet up ready to do it all again tomorrow.

Happy Friday!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1398 a very busy Thursday!

I had the best sleep ever….

I got the first EXCELLENT from Fitbit! That shows the power of kinesiology too. It takes all the stress from you. Such a blessing.

I’ve been good today, I’ve been much calmer and more direct I think, rather than internally blowing my stack and keeping it to myself. I’ve said what I’m thinking….

Its also the busiest day so I will have to make this a quickie tonight.

I’m off across the road to get my hair cut in Elaine’s Gatden Room. I got vouchers for Christmas and usually only get my hair cut twice a year but it’s getting really straggly just now so I think I need something different… she says…. TRIM…. Will come out my mouth no doubt! 💇🏻‍♀️😂

Then… my friend Evelyn and I are off over to the village hall for a psychic night…. 😬

I have only ever been to something like that once so don’t really know what to expect. It’s to support the hall though so I thought I’d go. I’m always the one who says no to everything. 2024 is going to be different. Again.. she says… 😂😘

Here’s some lovely things I read this morning that made me smile.

All of them make sense to me given my mood over the last few weeks. I knew I was creating the noise by myself but I couldn’t seem to stop it without Kinesiology. Here was me thinking I had “graduated”…. I was just on a break.

So all calm today which is so lovely after the noise.

I’m off to Edinburgh tomorrow for Auntie Marion’s 70th birthday lunch and then staying over with Mum for her birthday lunch on Saturday. I have the gifts all ready thanks to the little gift shop but I’ve not packed a thing…. Guess who will be up early tomorrow morning?!?!

Have a great Thursday night and here’s hoping the psychic night doesn’t spook me too much 😂

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1397 Happy Valentines Day 🌹🌹🌹🌹

The boy done well…. As the saying goes. 🫶🏼♥️🌹

I was a very lucky girl and I got 12 red roses delivered to work.

My card from Criag made me laugh too.

He also had a veggie Carbonara waiting for me when I came home.

It was really tasty!

I’ve been eating vegan and veggie for the last few weeks, as much as possible, so it really touched me that he took that into account.

I was rushing home for a Kinesiology appointment tonight… I needed something to calm the chaos in my head, also lovely to get dinner in time to head up to the laptop.

And it does exactly that….. I’ve been fighting my reality for the last few weeks but she told me that lots of people are feeling the same this year. So many of us are experiencing huge pressure make changes. It was nice to hear that I am not the only one.

We worked on bringing me back to my community, everyone and every group of people involved in my life. I’ve been repelling everything and fighting it, all in my head. It all sounds mumbo jumbo but I LOVE Health Kinesiology.

It has given me a peace and calm that is priceless after the chaos of the last few weeks.

Long may that continue.

The Scottish Dog Behaviourist also wished everyone a happy Valentines day today. What a lovely photo!

So yeah… I hope this is the calm after the storm and I know that I control that. I’m looking forward to seeing what the next week brings.

Meanwhile, comfies on, 4 puppers asleep beside me, Manifest on the TV.

And a whole lot of calm.

Oh and roses, there are lovely roses.

Didn’t he do well?!

Stay safe everyone 🌹🌹🌹

Day 1396 a slightly better day ☀️

I’m so grateful to be sleeping despite all this anxiety. Another good night.

I had a really lovely evening it myself last night and even drank a WHOLE bottle of alcohol free Rosé! Decadent huh?! It was super chill and relaxed. It helped my head.

I woke feeling brighter this morning, a sliver of hope that the worst may have passed. I spend a bit of time on my phone looking for positivity and I got hit between the eyes with it…. Here are a few to share.

I hear ya…

If there’s no joy then time is covering up the present moment. That’s exactly what I’m doing just now, I’m panicking about time passing me by… not focussing on the moment st hand.

All I am focussing on are the problems, I can’t see beyond them to the possibilities but I can see that today….

And this…… this will be the year.

I had an ok day today. The sun shone outside and it was cold but lovely. I came home and walked Calaidh and Freya… it was a lovely end to the day… I chatted to mum.

then… I made dinner… another Green Chef vegan delivery… mushroom “shepherds” pie.

It was really super tasty.

So it’s late before I sit down but I’ve emptied and refilled the dishwasher too. It’s the first time I’ve felt like doing anything in the evening and it feels good.

Just one step at a time.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1395 a lovely evening chilling

I slept so well last night until 4am and then had work swirling round in my head for the next 2 hours.

I’ll get an early night tonight.

My anxiety was sky high this morning. Head spinning, stomach churning, chaos.

It passes mid morning and I settle into a calmer day with a few irritable flare ups.

It was a lovely day…. The sun was shining and it got windy and wet just before I left work at 4.

I went for diesel and bought some chilli heatwave Doritos and some mini eggs. I came home and had a spinach and ricotta pizza with a lovely glass of alcohol free rosé. Not the healthiest of diets but I’ve really enjoyed it.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that Khaleesi is missing out on this, she lying by my right elbow!!

The rosé is lovely.

I’m watching Manifest on Netflix. I’m really enjoying it.

I’m not out of this strange spell yet but I’m still focussing on gratitude while I go through it. That is so unlike the person I used to be. I’m proud of myself when I am aware of things like this.

The universe is trying to tell me something and I just need to stop screaming at myself long enough to listen.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1394 into Glasgow!

Another amazing sleep and I got up at 8am… I went to let the dogs out but ended up not going back up to bed like I had planned.

I’m so lucky that I can sleep. My head is in turmoil, it’s churning round and round. I can’t settle. Chaos in my soul indeed.

I decided to take Khaleesi and Freya out this morning. The mist cleared and this wonderful sun appeared. It was huge.

While it was cold there was a lovely warmth to it. We had a lovely walk.

The sun really helped calm my mind and helped me breathe.

It was really beautiful ☀️

The mist came back in again and it’s been a fairly meh day weather wise. Writing this makes me realise how lucky I am to have had such a nice walk this morning.

I wanted to go to Run 4 It in Glasgow, this morning as I really wanted some running trainers that would keep my feet dry.

I want to run more but without wet feet!

You run on a treadmill in here and they record your gait so it means I’d get shoes that “shouldn’t” hurt my knee.

The trainers I bought for the Fit Body Farm just seem to soak up the water on the road. I’m not charging straight into puddles but they are squelching by the end of the run.

So the shop assistant said there was no such thing as indoor or outdoor running shoes. She smiled and said if we run outside we just have to accept that our feet will get wet…. 😳 my mood makes me incensed at this… while I smile sweetly through gritted teeth. I try to tell her when I bought my existing trainers there we picked the indoor ones…. From the same shop…. but she’s having none of it…. 😆 Then she produces 2 pairs of water resistant trainers.

She says they were both good for my gait so I picked a pair of Nike that are khaki and maroon.

There are no prices in Run 4 It…. When I took them up to the till I freaked and then wanted to back out but couldn’t. I can barely decide what I want to eat for dinner let alone what trainers to buy. I did get them in the sale and got about £12 off… they are in the house and I will decide sometime when my head stops screaming at me. (Also turns out that Nike advertise them as waterproof…. Who’d a thunk it?!? 😂)

We then went to a place called Jojo Mac for lunch and had a veggie burger. Craig had a burger burger 😆 we haven’t been in Glasgow city centre for a long time!! It felt really strange and honestly, while the food was good, Glasgow was not actually that nice…. Sooo many people!!! I am definitely not a city person anymore, if I ever was.

We came home and I took Calaidh and Bhruic a walk while Craig make some enquiry calls.

I’m angry this afternoon….. my head won’t shut up, round and round blaming everything and everyone. And yet this…… is what I need to listen to.

I am creating all of this noise inside my head all by myself. The chaos is so loud, I just want to shake it all out.

As u say that I am very calm writing this which really helps. The calm is so welcome when it comes.

I know that this will pass…. I just have to sit with the discomfort until it does… without the wine to numb it.

I will still say that this is a reminder to make the most of the week ahead and try to be in the present moment as often as you can. do as u say not as I seem to be doing right now 😂😘

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 1393 a lovely wee trip to Luss with Gayle 🚙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

Another fantastic sleep… yesterday’s anxiety left me exhausted. We went to bed about 8.30pm and I slept right through until 6.30am.

I didn’t feel great this morning. I guess you could say today was a day of two halves but the opposite from yesterday.

I felt really tearful, I tried to hide it as no one wants to live with Negative Nelly. It just shows you that I have a lovely day ahead but I’m still not feeling great. My friend Tracey in Canada said something yesterday that has sat with me…. What are you trying to ignore? Is something not dealt with that you’re trying to preteen is fine?

Wow. Exactly that…..

I think of all the positives of today but still my stomach churns. I feel so out of sorts, should I cancel, should I go? I know I’m going to go but there’s an anxiety about it that’s irrational.

I head out with Bhruic and Calaidh, forget my phone because my head’s all over the place and bump into my neighbour Holly…. She makes the mistake of asking how I am… tears. Magic… she goes and gets her dog and comes with me. It’s freezing this morning and a bit misty but it’s lovely to have company on the walk.

No photos obviously….

I jump in the shower and head down for Gayle just after 10 and we drive up the side of Loch Lomond to Luss.

She knows I’m feeling rough but she doesn’t push me until I’m ready to chat. We catch up on the day to day.

We got to a lovely coffee shop that Claire first took me to, the Coach House in Luss. We had a lovely cheese and coleslaw roll…. I can’t decide what I want so I order the same as Gayle and it’s lovely.

I then had a Banoffee Coffee….. THE most delicious flavoured coffee ever AND a scone with cream and jam. Very decadent but so lovely. Gayle treated me to lunch which was so lovely of her (especially after I ate so much!!)

We went for a wander round the lovely gift shops and down to the pier.

Luss is the really beautiful heritage village that was featured on Take the High Road. It’s so pretty but hard to get a decent photo today with the resident’s car parking.

It’s lovely when everyone has flowers outside their houses in spring and summer.

This beautiful building is a gift shop.

And THIS is the view from the front door. Stunning.

Ben Lomond is in the mist above my head… it’s raining now.

You can almost see the snow covered Ben in this photo.

Out on the pier looking back onto the village.

This is another lovely street in the village.

We had a lovely wander round and it was really good to talk to Gayle and try to make sense of some of the intrusive thoughts in my head.

I definitely felt better for it. Some of our chat stopped the stomach churning so it really helped.

We drove back home and stopped on the banks of Loch Lomond near a huge puddle at Duck Bay Marina. I wanted to get some photos.

My friend Helen will be so proud of these reflections in a puddle. A mahoosive puddle. It always floods here.

Loch Lomond itself was pretty high water.

I was never going to cancel today but I’m so glad we went.

Back home and Craig arrived back just behind me. 3 mobile phone service has been down for a lot of the day so we couldn’t phone each other.

We popped into the pub to catch the end of the rugby and had a lovely catch up with some neighbours.

So yeah, I’ve had a lovely day. I feel really insular and quiet, I don’t know quite what to make of anything or where to put myself but I’m calm for now. Comfies on, football only has 3 minutes left to go (praise the Lord) and maybe then we’ll get a good movie on.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️