Day 643 a day of cleaning!

It’s 8.21pm already…. Today has flown by!

We were up at 8am but had a great sleep, was out for the count all night. Amazing.

Decided this morning that we’d get the Christmas tree and decorations all boxed away for another year.

It was looking a bit dry and sorry for itself!
Wee sad sorry tree!

So naturally we had to clean everything that came in contact with the tree on the way out. The needles were everywhere! Probably be finding them for months. The house looks so bare without it.

Then there was a muddy van to clear out. We had all the fun today! It’s all cleaned and smelling lovely…. And most of our stuff is washed. I love cleaning the van to be honest and getting it all ready for going away again. Funny how the minute we are back I want to go away again.

While I was doing that Craig went to move his car only to find out the battery was dead.

Here we are jump starting!

We then took it for a good long drive down to Irvine and back just to boost the battery back up again but will have to get it booked into the garage as it must need a new battery.

So that was our morning and early afternoon.

I honestly don’t know where the rest of the day went?! Well I do but it was fast….

We did a quick food shop for our lovely neighbours who are in Covid isolation and then I took the dogs out. Didn’t take my phone as it was charging and it was just as well as it was such a miserable looking day. We all wanted it to be over fast.

I managed to sit down for a bit in front of the fire with Freya cuddles. I’m back watching the Crown again. Craig was having a drink in the pub and then I went in after 5.

Now it’s 9pm. Time flies when you’re cleaning.

It’s been a funny day. The street has been so quiet as no one really had anywhere to go. Not only is it the 2nd January but a Sunday too. It’s been nice to have zero plans and get things done.

A doing day!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 642 Happy New Year 2022! 🎉🎊🥳

What a lovely night we had in our field in Blairgowrie! It was so mild which was great and didn’t rain until just after 2am.

There were 6 of us for the bells…. Dave and Angela and Aaron and Charley.

These guys are all members of a group called Overland Bound and we’ve met them all in the last few years.

We had lots of lovely cheesey snacks in time for the bells…. Melted Camembert on an campfire… is the way forward. Angela brought the best homemade soup and sausage rolls… and Christmas cake as well. Her Christmas cake was soooo good!

We’d also had fillet steak with Parma ham wrapped asparagus for dinner. A feast of champions!

Dinner!
Angela and Dave
Craigie
The gang!
Camembert 😋
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Fireworks in the distance at the bells 🔔

I finally gave in just after 2 and went to join the dogs in bed!

We had a lovely lie in this morning as the dogs were exhausted. They had loads of fun playing with Dave and Angela’s grandson. He was the best pup sitter ever.

Here he is in action!

The weather has been so good… the sun came out. It was a really windy morning. I got up at 7 to wind the awning back in as the wind kept catching it. But we had some lovely sunshine.

Don’t need to see the guys… just like the silhouette 👤 🤣
“I don’t want Bhru and Freya to get the squeaky pig mumma…”
TWINS!!

Stew and Eva joined us this morning too. They only live 40 minutes away but couldn’t make it last night. Group photo before they left.

Abbie the camper!
Team Avery ♥️

We took the dogs out for a walk.

So we decided that we would head home tonight. The thought of a shower, fresh clothes and steak pie beckoned. Not gonna lie… being home and not having to watch the dogs 24/7 is also a bonus.

Check the mess I made trying to get out of the pitch… coulda been worse I guess. The boys had to push me!

We have a lovely time with people who have now become good friends and it was great to be able to meet up this year.

The drive home was wild!!! It was so wet and windy…. Just had to take it slowly.

I’ve now had my shower but am still rocking Eau de Campfire…. 🔥

This makes me laugh!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Here’s to a happy 2022 for us all!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 641 Happy Hogmanay 2021 🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔

Well here we are again. Another year done. Can anyone else believe we are headed into 2022?!?!

I remember freaking out about Hogmanay 2000 and thinking all computers would shut down and planes would drop from the sky…. That’s 22 years ago?!? No way…..

It was not the best nights sleep in the world… if I’m honest. First of all…. Too hot. 🥵 go figure. Secondly, maybe the van at a bit of an angle so felt like I was rolling sideways. Thirdly, 5 of us in a van….. kinda says it all!!

That’s a whole lotta awake but to be fair a whole lotta asleep too!

Lovely breakfast and then dog walk. The campsite has a one way, mile round walk, so you don’t bump into other dogs… they think of everything.

I took Freya a bit further… trying to get steps up as I’m gutted we had to miss FBF this morning. Should say here that I’m struggling to walk from Wednesdays class…. 😆

The mist lying in the valley
The sun is coming out! Rainbow 🌈
Big sun!
Those eyes 👀

So….. I’m writing this at 12.30pm as so that I can relax and enjoy the rest of the day. We have friends arriving this afternoon and I will of course, need a nap. Haven’t had one in like two whole days?!?!?! How will I cope back at work??

First things first…..

It’s still not always easy but it’s 100% the best thing I have ever done. Taken back control of my life.

139 days without anti-depressants. This still blows my mind. I never thought I would see this day. I have to sit with that thought for a while as that’s still huge. After 25-30 years of daily medication and the last 15 years or so with a whole lotta booze I’m now facing everything head on.

This next one will be controversial but hey….

This won’t be for everyone but I’ve change a lot in the last 3 years.

Without all of that there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to get away from it all…. Except maybe through food. Now I’ve taken the next step to try to control that too.

I have changed so much in 2021. At the start of the year I was reluctantly making dog behavioural calls. Plucking up the courage to call each enquiry I was given. Some days were hard… other days it came naturally.

These days most things come naturally to me. I am so grateful for that. ♥️♥️♥️

I’m now gainfully employed again as Tartan Campers gave me a great opportunity and still offered it when I told them I was worried I wouldn’t get an afternoon sleep…. (I mean they really should have run a mile!) I have the Fit Body Farm 3 times a week and was so proud to win transformation of the year.

I still have my moments when anxiety blows up in my face (yesterday…..) but I know why, I understand my triggers. I try to plan around them and the lovely Shelagh helps me manage it all through health kinesiology.

I have a wonderful network of friends and family who support me and look out for me. They always say the right things at the right time. 💜

Craig has stood by me through all of this and we’ve grown together learning as we go. We can laugh at some of it now. (Not so much yesterday…🤷🏻‍♀️🤣)

And…. I have 641 days of The Rambling Sloth under my belt. I truly the believe the blog has helped me understand all of this. Make some sense of the over reactions, help me understand the triggers.

Thanks to everyone who reads, comments, sends or tags me in content.

It means the world to me. ♥️💜

Love this 💕

Happy 2022 to you all. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 640 ROADTRIP to Blairgowrie on Hogmanay Eve 🔔🚐🏕🔔

Well, you may not be surprised to know that anxiety reared it’s ugly head this morning.

The plus side of that is that I identified a HUGE trigger…. Being completely out of control with what’s happening in my day.

So….. I will try to keep this brief but I may fail. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 my head loves a good drama you know…..

We were “meant” to be going away for a Hogmanay/New Years Day meet with the Overland Bound guys.

There were 10 vehicles attending when it was first mentioned and we booked GG & Belles campsite in Blairgowrie.

(This is the campsite with the fences around the pitch for the dogs to be off lead).

Sadly over the last week one by one people have dropped out for various reasons, COVID included. Yesterday when we were finally down to 2 or maybe 3 vehicles we decided to cancel it. The campsite were only opening up for us because we had asked and they were making some money off season. They were also selling us bags of wood that they were preparing.

So from yesterday lunchtime it was off…..

I cancelled my Thursday 7am at FBF and booked for Friday at 6am. I put my lists away, didn’t go food shopping, didn’t pack, nothing.

I woke up at 7am and lay in until 9. I was planning to go buy some new running trainers with my winnings from the FBF Transformation award… then lunch in Tiso’s in Glasgow. Lovely wee day.

Then the words…. “I was thinking we should just go…” we’re uttered….. and I think my head emptied, anxiety took over and had a rampage….. pretty much up until the minute we drove off…. At 1.20pm!!!!

So you can imagine my morning. I just couldn’t shake out of it at all. I was humphing and sighing and complaining and panicking and not thinking straight AT ALL. Generally causing havoc and making everything take so much longer than it should have. It’s almost as if I relish being in that moment again proving to myself that there’s something simple that I still can’t handle.

I had SO MUCH baggage

As soon as I sit in the van to drive off I am completely calm.

And we’re off!
Where are you taking us now?!?
My other wee animal collection!

My trusty co pilot got this stunning pic of the River Tay while I drove.

He took this as we drove over a bridge

Then we turn left and pass this…

It’s not as dramatic in winter but still very impressive when you drive under it.

Blairgowrie town centre Christmas tree 🎄

In just over 2 hours we’re here!

Using the fence as a windbreak
The sky is lovely

We got set up really quickly and I got dinner on as Craig got the fire going.

Calaidh posed as I cooked!

Then her and Bhru feel asleep!

Calaidh in her hidey hole
I got Freya cuddles

So we’re here now. My anxiety a distant memory. There’s barely a sound apart from the wood sizzling in the fire. I’m drinking a Clean Co Cuba Libre which is an alcoholic free rum. It’s really lovely though the Coke has caffeine so I could be partying into the night. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Enjoy your warm cosy bed tonight. We’ll be looking at the stars every time we need a wee. 😂😆😂😆

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 639 Fit Body Farm return and dog walk all before 8.30am 😵‍💫🥳

Wow, we were like machines this morning AND I’d like point out that I did not have a nap today…. Check me.

We were back at the FBF at 6am and that was a baptism of fire! I’ve been having wee lazy lie ins since Christmas Day. the 5am alarm was not that welcome!

I found it really hard this morning but still. We did it!

Back home and out with the dogs while it was still dark. We had hi via vests and head torches…. It started to rain then and it never stopped until about 4pm!

Our Overland Bound hi-vis

So back home in the shower at 9am and it’s still pitch black outside. It was sooooo dark today. And the rain poured down!

We had Craig’s business parter, Lorna, in for a meeting today. It was so good to catch up as I’ve not seen much of her since I stopped working with Pawsitive Solutions. She brought us a lovely Hyacinth plant which are may favourite! Can’t wait to watch it grow!

We had a cuppa and I let them get on while I hung washing up and put washing away and other housey stuff.

When she left we had lunch and headed into the pub next door and ended up there till 6.30! We got chatting to a lovely couple sitting next to us. Really good chat and banter. It’s nice to connect with people like that. Time flew by and I never thought about having a sleep!

Course I’m tired now though. I don’t know where today has gone!

So a wee quickie today! (Stop it!)

Always be YOU

Time flies when you’re having fun!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 638 all this relaxing is becoming a habit! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣😆

Another lovely relaxing day here. I had so many plans this morning.

Wasn’t sure whether to head to Braehead shopping centre for a wander around?

Decided against that for COVID reasons. We’re away for Hogmanay so I didn’t want to risk catching it at the last minute.

My second plan was to head to Largs and get my glasses tightened… still not done that…. And head to Portencross beach but honestly just couldn’t be bothered with the drive.

I took the dogs out for a walk.

Love how Freya checks out the other two
The old gate in Spiers school grounds
The sky was lovely
A good run in the field
I love this view
The Ivy is so Green
The old Gielsland school building
I love the winter skies
Heading home
We do live in the loveliest of surroundings

I’ve had another lovely lazy day. I’ve put Abbie the camper van on charge today, plugged her into the house. Written lists of things to take away and put a gammon joint into the slow cooker.

And I had another nap….. honestly, I’ve not slept this much since I started full days at work. I’m loving the rest. Loving settling down for a sleep in the middle of the day.

Life is short. I shouldn’t waste it sleeping but at the same time I need it!

I’ve had the Crown on in the background today. Not sure if I’m loving it or not. Well I know I’m not loving it but it is interesting.

I’m not sure that I need to know all of this, some of the decisions being made make me sad. I know that sounds ridiculous. I often prefer the naive option!

I need to work harder at this!
💕
So true!
Always

And finally… I love this.

All to often we focus on the negative. This has been another hard year and we all need to give ourselves credit for how we’ve dealt with it.

So another lazy night in front of the tv for us….. oh that reminds me we had a lovely night with Claire and Graeme last night.

Claire made Passionfruit Gin Fizz Cocktails. Mine 0% of course!

Sooo pretty!

It was so refreshing! She also had a grazing board for us.

It was so good!! We had a good catch up and a good laugh. A great night!

Stay safe everyone 🧀🧀🧀

Day 637 a good wardrobe clear out, dog walk and a nap!

Oooh dare I say I actually feel a wee teensy tiny bit bored today?! There are so many things I could be doing but actually I can’t be bothered doing any of them.

However, in my lazy morning. I have still racked up 4,76 steps so far.

I’ve tidied out my wardrobe and chest of drawers, have clothes for charity, a couple of things to sell and a few things I’m reluctantly binning.

And just like that it’s 2pm.

I feel that funny way I get at weekends sometime where I feel like I “should” be doing more and niggle away at myself for not doing it. yet honestly, I have absolutely no intentions of doing any of it.

I wanted to go for a run when I got up this morning. I didn’t plan ahead so my stuff was all in the bedroom while Craig was having a lie in. I wanted to take my photos and measurements for the FBF challenge and couldn’t find the pad and tape measure so instead of letting it go a small child had a tantrum inside my head. By the time I found it I realised the sports gear was in the wash…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ It wasn’t the end of the world and everything was pointing towards me just having a rest.

I’ve done two washing loads and hung it up and had a good clear out so I guess that enough.

I finished watching the last episode of Suits. I’ve had that on in the background for months now as I tidy or write the blog. That’s a whole 9 seasons!! Hmmmmm what will be next?!

So I took Calaidh out for a walk and sadly left my phone at home. It’s been misty and murky for the last few days but there was a clearing in the clouds…. The sky was beautiful when I was out. Just after 3 it was very low in the sky and a huge orange ball.

So now I’ve done something I fee a bit better about doing nothing.

This is what my late lunch looks like…… a whole lot of eyes on me. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

And now it’s 6.30pm wow. Another nap. I’m watching the Crown now and maybe that’s made me fall asleep.

Going into Claire and Graeme’s in 45 minutes so better get moving!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 636 Boxing Day 2021 🎁

It actually snowed here on Christmas Day…. I could leave it there…. Poetic license…. or I could tell you the truth…. it did but was only a few flakes blowing in the wind as we drove home!!

We woke up to a sprinkling though…. ☃️ hardly snowman material!

So Boxing Day today…. And we have ZERO plans.

So I’m really pleased to say that I have honestly had THE best Christmas. I’m not sure I can remember the last time I’ve said that.

Other than not knowing what to get for anyone at the start of December, I’ve really embraced the spirit of Christmas this year, whatever that is. I’ve worn Christmas jumpers, decorated my desk and watched so many Christmas movies 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄.

I’ve used Christmas emojis on almost every message I’ve sent, I mean that’s got to stand for something. 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄☃️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Most of all I have felt a whole lot of love. I’ve spent the last two days with some of those I love the most. I’ve watched them interact with each other, shared laughs, old stories, memories and I’ve loved every minute of it.

There was no pressure, no rush, no drama, only great company, lovely food and the best few days.

I should say here that two years ago I dreaded the thought of Christmas. I felt like a burden to everyone and thought they’d Al be better off without me. It was the most dreadful time and was really all in my head. My illness telling me cruel lies. So many people will have struggled this year and my heart goes out to them.

I love that in this last year I’ve had lots of days where I just did whatever I wanted. I love being able to relax and have no pressure to do anything. I also love alone time. As much as I love my friends and family I now know I need alone time. Crave it actually.

We had our Christmas Day today. We didn’t take our presents with us so woke up at 8am to do pressies! Boxing Day is Christmas Day III 🥳🎊🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄♥️

I’ve had such lovely, lovely, lovely gifts this Christmas. I’ve been so lucky.

I got a T-shirt from my favourite Christmas film!

I got a lovely hat and T-shirt from my next door neighbours.

A hat from Claire, scarf from Craig and gloves from my sis in law, Lisa which make a great combo!!

Craig and I had a £100 limit….. he is the king of gift giving so needs a limit 🤣🤣🤣

He did very well until my last gift…. He got me the Fitbit Sense which is a health smart watch. It tracks all health metrics and helps manage stress……. Well hullo…… know of anyone who might need that?!? He had a wee twinkle in his eye when he “tah-dahed” that one over!!

I love it of course and it couldn’t have come at a better time when I really want to track my workout progress and am starting to look into daily meditation practise.

I also got lots of mini alcohol free drinks with a Julie fizz glass.

Everyone has been so thoughtful and kind.

Calaidh made light work of this toy…. It was gone in 5 minutes.

We took the dogs out and it was pretty miserable and cold so came home and had showers and got into comfies for the rest of the day.

Craig watched the football while I got into bed and had a nap! Surprise!!

We watched Don’t Look Up on Netflix tonight with Leonardo di Caprio. Wow. Uncomfortably close to real life today but a great watch. We all need to take something away from that movie.

And these were just divine.

So yeah, a great few days. I’ve been very lucky and feel very loved. ♥️

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 635 Merry Christmas Day 2021! 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄🎄

Merry Christmas everyone!

I’m writing this in bed after a lovely Christmas Eve meal with my lovely in-laws. Tools loads of photos… as usual!

Cookie the Chihuahua is bored of selfies already.

How stunning does the garden look?!

Christmas is also in every room of the house!

This tree is artificial but it’s so real looking, it’s beautiful 🤩
Dining room
I love these reindeer
Posing in front of Helen and Doug’s tree
Whatsup?!?!?
After a lovely Christmas Eve dinner ♥️
Treats Gran?!?

So… didn’t sleep that well as the dogs decided to use us as a trampoline pretty much all night, but didn’t actually get up until 8am.

We had the loveliest breakfast before we left.

And now we’re driving home for Christmas…. 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄♥️ to my mum and dads for the day.

First things first some treats for the pups!

Mum and dad’s tree!

Presents 🎁
Mum rocking her Christmas pinny!
Then we opened pressies!
Hey d’you have treats?!?!

Mum and I took Calaidh, Bhruic and Freya for a walk. The sun came out and it was really lovely for a wee while.

Took this pic for my friend Helen as it shows her old house across the fields, the sun and shadows were lovely!

Mum had invited Nick, the Minister from their church, St James the Less, for dinner, so I drove around Penicuik to pick Nick up from church. It was a huge trip down memory lane.

I popped round to the Memorial garden at church to give my love to my Gran. my cousin Steven gave her a wee Christmas tree and some flowers.

So back to mums and we caught the Queen’s speech at 3, which always reminds me of my Gran 💜 as she always wanted to hear the speech and then we had dinner! Another amazing meal… think we’ll sleep for a week!!

Table set!
Salmon pate starter
Party hat selfie….. someone said the hat was too wee for his head…. Apparently 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
Main course with lime pickle!!

And then I had Christmas pudding with brandy butter. I love brandy butter!!!! Love love love!

Love the candle centrepiece
Treat time now!!

I hope you’ve all had a lovely day. Christmas is a hard time for many people, it’s a memory of loved ones lost. It brings up so many memories of Christmases past.

My Grandad died 37 years ago today. I will never forget that memory. I was allowed to go to the midnight service at St James church for the first time. I was 12. I could hardly stay awake but I was so excited to be there. I wanted to be so grown up.

We came out of church and I suddenly felt very small. There was lots of chat going on at adult height. My Grandpa who never came to church was outside in the car park, as was my Great Uncle. I had no idea what was wrong.

Grandad had a massive heart attack at 12.10am on Christmas morning.

This Christmas we have people isolating through COVID-19 just to add to everything.

I’ve really struggled with Christmas in past years but this year I’ve been the most relaxed by far. Good things come to those who work really hard at it to keep on going.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

Day 634 Christmas Eve 2021🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼‍🎄

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

I took a photo of our houses at 5.30am this morning on the way to the Fit Body Farm and sent it to Claire, it looked very festive.

She sent this back!!!!!

It’s nearly 3 pm and I’ve just tracked Santa on the NORAD tracker and he’s currently in China and delivered 1,290,835,571 presents… isn’t that amazing?!?

🤣🤣

So back to my day… FBF was a killer session. Certainly no ease us in gently to Christmas Eve. Wham…. Hard work! It was great though and I came home buzzing.

Home, let the dogs out the office door, shower and then went through to the sun room and love that they are all waiting for me… Calaidh barks in case I don’t know where they are…. As if?!?

I was off out to my Christmas nail appointment for 8.30, toes and hands done in a lovely deep wine/purple with the lightest hint of sparkle.

I’ve also filled the van with diesel and run it through the car wash. Check me.

I came home and watched the end of my movie from last night and then popped into Claire’s for our Christmas Eve cups and pressies. Her house is so very festive.

This is the artificial tree, the real one is in the other living room…. Forgot to get a pic of that. Claire is Mrs Christmas. Her presents are beautifully wrapped and there’s always a theme.

Bruce is rocking his Christmas bandana

I, on the other hand… gave her presents wrapped in one paper, in a gift bag that doesn’t match with a gift tag that matched neither of them!

How can we even be friends?!?!🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 🤣

I got a lovely new hat that I’m super chuffed with and a very interesting book which I’ll be quoting in future blogs. Forgot to take a pic of it.

And then I got into bed and had a nap. I needed it…. I was getting crotchety and that doesn’t mean I wanted to crochet. 🙄🤣🤣

We dropped pressies into the pub next door and are now on our way to Craig’s mum and stepdad’s all lateral flow clear.

Hope Gran and Gramps are ready for the tennis ball throwing.

It’s been so long since we’ve been together. Last Christmas none of us could go anywhere. That will make this year even more special. ♥️

Merry Christmas Eve to you all!

Stay safe everyone 🎄🎄🎄