Day 975 another freezing day, finally Christmas shopping and I bumped into a lamppost! 😳😆

Day 975 feels like a bit of a milestone. Only 25 days to the big 1000. 😳

Who’d a thunk it?!

It was -1.5°c when I got out to Abbie the camper van this morning. The guys at work said it was -5°C when they left the house. It’s super cold but the days are stunning. I’m looking forward to a sunny Sunday as the forecast is lovely for the next few weeks at the moment. I say lovely…. Very cold and crisp but sunny!

I slept right through to 6.19am which felt really good. I’m off the progesterone for the next fortnight now. I have reminders in my phone but I’m surprising myself with the clarity of it. I still have brain fog and forgetfulness but it’s definitely improving. I feel way more in control of the terror I used to find myself in.

All of that said….. I opened number 9 on my M&S Advent Calendar this morning.

Today is only the 8th. 😳

Ellison had asked if I could keep the boxes for her sister to use at school next year, but I knew I’d already burned some in the fire. Never thought to keep it and make an advent for someone next year.

This morning I went to retrieve some boxes to see what I could salvage.

Lo and behold I find empty box number 13. 😳 It’s still only the 8th…. Goodness only knows what I thought I was opening when I picked up 13?!?!? So far I’ve had some lovely gifts.

I guess day 13 must have been the exceptional mini Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturiser mini… today I also got a lovely Autograph lip tint. (none of these are in the pic!)

I’ve decided to try and up my fluid intake at work but drinking some flavoured teas. Now I’m not a fan of a herbal tea but it’s too cold to drink lots of cold water and I only have caffeine coffee in the office just now. I took Super Green Tea and Peppermint out the cupboard this morning. Also a Pukka Chai Tea bag.

They kept me warm and stopped me feeling hungry.

So I wrote this as lunchtime and since then I’ve have a couple of great van handovers today AND finally started my Christmas shopping. Check me. It felt right.

Now don’t get me wrong…. I’ve done Tesco, Primark and Aldi…. For those of you in the UK you will realise it wasn’t the most salubrious and expensive Christmas shopping but things are tight this year so I am going to adapt. I love a Christmas gift made up of bits and bobs.

The cashier in Tesco told me she would be totally panicking if she hadn’t started her shopping until today. No need to panic… 😆

It’s still very cold, so the windscreen washers on the van are frozen….. so I’m trying to peer through a salted up windscreen. It’s dark, the headlights are all glaring and I’m trying hard to see….. snd then there’s the reversing camera not working…. It works when I least need it and doesn’t work when I do need it the most.

I really enjoyed my wee trip… despite all that.

Until I tried to reverse in the Aldi car park…. The camera screen completely black and someone desperately waiting to get past me.

I felt the bump and my heart plummeted. I pulled forward and looked around. The guy next to me had his window down and didn’t even look at me, so I figured I hadn’t hit a car. … it was a lamppost.

The adrenaline left me shaking like a leaf. That must have been about 6pm. It’s now 8.10pm and I just don’t feel right. My heart is racing and I’m tearful as soon as I write these words. I feel so very overwhelmed. Tears spilled over now.

What the hell is wrong with me. I’m very hard on myself, I know.

I got a fright. A big fright. I thought I’d hit someone’s car and someone was gonna go nuts at me. I thought it was gonna cost me a fortune. Catastrphizing at its best.

As I drove home, I hear a few noises that I think are dogs barking outside the van, I feel like I’m skidding in the road. I’m already going slow but I slow down even more. I hear the noise again. It still sounds like dogs barking in the distance. By the time I get home I’m feel all over the place.

It’s actually a physical pain. My heart is beating out my chest and I feel very sad.

Watch this space, I’ll wake up in the morning and my period will have started…. And all will be well with the world 😆

Anyway… I’ll head to bed soon as sleep it off!

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️

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