Day 831 a lot less thinking today you’ll be glad to hear 🙈🙊🤣

Didn’t sleep well last night so yawned for half the morning today. Soooooo sleepy!

I got into a task at work that I really enjoyed so felt I really achieved something today which was good.

We ended up at Decathlon after work today as Craig needed a new camp bed as he’s going away for the weekend and leaving me…. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 how many times have I gone away and left him?!? It was a nice wee random trip out on a Thursday. Why is it Decathlon is the kind of place that you feel you can’t live without every single thing that they sell (apart from the football and horsey stuff!) I am proud to say I bought nothing.

We were up close to Braehead Shopping Centre in Glasgow so we popped to Ernest Jones the jeweller to speak to them about my engagement ring diamond which has slipped from its setting for a third time.

Now I’ve obviously had my engagement ring for a good old while now….. the stone was sat at an angle for years and years and years before I did anything about it. I paid £175 in 2019 and £188 in 2021, to have it reset and it’s gone again.

It’s the hardest thing in the world to walk away from your engagement ring and leave it with someone else….. but I did. Again 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Anyway…. I’ve been a lot less emotional today. I feel like I at the next stage of my healing journey where I have to stop playing the victim and take some responsibility for why I am where I am right now.

It is all in my head.

I manifest my anxiety. I create the whirlwind, tornado of emotion all by myself.

I have a lovely friend on FB who I have never met…. Cheryl-Lynn…. She lives in the States and was a huge part of my early sober journey and we “met” in the After Dry January FB group that I’m admin for. She’s on a very similar journey to me.

She posted some clangers today that hit me between the eyes…..

I create my anxiety.

I create my own stress.

I’m laughing here as some of you are probably having a wee chuckle thinking no shit Sherlock… she’s finally sussed it. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

I can choose not to. 🤔😳🤨

I took a huge intake of breathe there as I’m still not sure how to actually do this….. but I need to work at it and stop being the victim.

I need to distract myself, I need to breathe when I feel it coming on.

I’ve known all of this a long time but I finally realise my responsibility to fix it. No one else is going to.

I feel a bit down about various things just now. All within my own ability to change.

Big sigh again but takes bull by the horns and says let’s ride this wave….. ?!?!?! That made me laugh, what a load of twaddle.

Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️