Wow… I had a rough morning fighting with my head. There were tears before 7am and tears again before 11am but I’ve done my best to work at it this morning and I think I’ve calmed my overthinking.
I’ve brought Abbie the campervan down to work as there’s a auto electrician in that can fix issues I have with the stereo and reverse camera. I feel like I have “worked” in my head all weekend as a result. This was my choice but I’ve spent the whole weekend thinking about things that need done at work blah blah blah…. and things I could have done differently or better.. beating myself up.
I’m worried about Christmas , I feel I “should” be enjoying the run up to Christmas more, soaking up the atmosphere, I’m worrying about what to get everyone but not enough to actually do anything about it. It’s just hanging over me. Christmas is a difficult time for so many people. People put so much expectation on the right gifts, the right meal, having a good time and how many of just don’t click with all that expectation?
So back to the morning, we got up and had coffee after I bent poor Craig’s ear when he say “talk to me about it”…. He should never have asked….. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤣
He went off to work and I took the dogs out to “get that over with”…. I actually had a really lovely walk and managed all 3 at once easily.
So I did a poo pick in the garden which is always lovely…… but it’s done and looks so much better. Non dog folks wince at this point!
I got the dogs settled and went through to the bedroom and did a 20 minute Mindfulness Meditation 🧘🏻♀️
Honestly when it started my head was absolutely jumping. If you can imagine a comic with a fight scene….
Not kidding that’s exactly what my head felt like. I could almost feel the punches and kicks being thrown. I reckon after the first 5 minutes of the meditation it finally subsided. Maybe I’ve just got very descriptive in my blog writing days… 🤣 but it really did feel like that.
I then did a Body Shop Vitamin C face mask and sat listening to music. Not just any music but music I used to sing when I was in the church choir as a kid. Faurés Requiem and Christmas carols with descants. I know… ok.. if anyone had seen me I was even more crazy than normal with a white sheet mask over my face and big headphones on “gie’in it laldy” as they say in Scotland.
The singing (with great gusto) caused more tears… stirring up memories of years long gone. Jeez would you listen to me. I sound like old mother time eh?!?
Anyway…. I am finally calm. I’m exhausted but calm.
And now Abbie has her stereo hanging out!!
So it turns out the stereo didn’t have an earth to the handbrake 😳 so I never got full functionality of it as it thought I was always driving… or something like that. 🤷🏻♀️
So all fixed and back up the road by 1.55pm just in time for Christmas lunch at the Gateside Inn… next door.
What an amazing meal. Craig’s had goats cheese tart to start and I had chicken liver pâté. Forgot to take photos…. 🤦🏻♀️
Main courses were Steak Pie with all the trimmings and Roast Gammon.
The sky was amazing again when we left. I spent about 15 minutes in the back garden taking photos.
So it’s 4.30pm and I’m in bed with the electric blanket on while Craig watches the football. Bliss.
I’m like a different person from this morning and the relief is immense. I plan to have a very lazy evening in front of the tree and the fire…. As soon as that football noise stops 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😳🤣
Stay safe everyone 🔥🔥🔥
4 thoughts on “Day 614 anxiety to calm to Christmas dinner in the pub! 🎄🎅🏼🧑🏼🎄”
Christmas is going to be very difficult for me but I have the help of a truly wonderful psychologist. He will get me through it. As you say it’s not an easy time for a lot of people.
Sending lots of love and hugs. You are a remarkable woman and I admire your strength. Xx
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Thanks so much for saying that. I don’t feel it sometimes. That was awful this morning like my head was taken over. It will be difficult for you but I’m so glad you have the psychologist. I’m sorry it’s not all sorted out yet but hope it will be soon. You have more strength than you know xx
Christmas lunch sounds good. It’s the thought behind the gift that counts so don’t stress over it. Easy to say I know. Looking forward to seeing you guys at Christmas. Take care. 🥰
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Yeah we are too. Been way too long!! Xxx