So let’s deal with the numbers first…. 600 days of writing a daily blog. Seriously, can you actually believe it?!?
600 days ago I decided to keep a blog about life in lock down. I had been off sick from work since September 2018 with anxiety depression.
My position was made redundant in on 28th February 2020. That was about 20 days before we went into COVID-19 lockdown.
None of us knew what was coming.
I went into lockdown without a job.
That was equally terrifying.
To be fair I was nowhere near ready to look for a new one. I still had a long way to go before I had the confidence to work for anyone.
I quickly found how much I enjoyed writing it. I needed to write it. While I tried to keep it as a diary of lockdown, I found that it really helped me to make sense of all the jumbled up feelings in my head.
I am an overthinker.
I worry about the day I never saw…. As my Gran would say…. 💜
I have all the tools to control it. Yet sometimes it’s so overwhelming that I forget all of those tools. Yet I sit down anywhere from early afternoon to early evening every day and write down how I’ve felt during my day and it really helps me.
I spend the day collecting blog content in my head, it gives me some focus.
It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done…. I’ve done it for me and it helps me so much.
On top of that I gave up drinking alcohol in January 2019 and I have 1,052 days alcohol free under my belt. I am a much better person without it. It’s been a very difficult journey and a lonely one at times but it’s right for me.
I also hit 98 days without anti-depressants and that, for me, is huge!!! I am managing my life without the meds and I am so, so very proud of it.
So that said, I was anything less than mediocre today. We undertook our first Hyrox challenge at the Fit Body Farm today. Check us.
Now this was a Hyrox Half so we did half of everything on that list, that’s still 4K of running along with all the other exercise in between.
I was overwhelmed by it all even when we arrived. I’ve never taken part in a sports event before. I’m like a kid at the FBF who expects to be pointed in the right direction all the time and we had to take responsibility for all of this ourselves. Big girl pants.
I found it really hard. Craig and I worked together and he finished the first four stages before me. I felt like I was holding him back. I felt like everyone who started after us was catching us up… my inner voice was so negative. The next four stages came way more easily to me. To be fair, I had half the weight Craig had.
I finished the last one before him and they all shouted me to run to the finish line. He waited for me most of the morning so I was never going to do that. We crossed the finish together…. huge high five and big hug.
I tried to swallow it down but burst into tears for a quick moment. The relief it was over, the adrenaline crashing now it was over.
We were done by 11am. I’ve been worried about it for way longer than it took to do it.
I was beetroot for ages afterwards.
We had hot showers when we got home and I didn’t want to get out of…. Ever.
Then we went down to Mocha Jak’s for lunch.
We had a lovely lunch. It was so nice to relax and be really proud of what we’d done.
I feel like I’ve been rabbiting on for hours here and still so much to say…. Will speed it up.
When we came home I went into Claire’s for a lovely cuppa. Got some great pics of her handsome boy!
Then home for dog walk. I love a sunset dog walk.
I’ve been sitting for the last hour and half writing this and I might never move again. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😬🤣
I want to thank everyone who reads this whether it’s daily or from time to time. People who don’t even know me. I appreciate you all and hope that my ramblings help some of you.
Life is not easy. It’s how we face it that matters.
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️