Well I think it’s safe to say my mind has been well and truly closed for the last 24 hours with all sorts if noise and rubbish flying around inside it. Oh my god…. it’s no wonder I am shattered half the time. It’s hard work overthinking this much.
I have allowed my brain to blow it all day today. And all night last night.
It was one of those nights I felt like I was wide awake, permanently switched on. Yet I wasn’t as I did sleep for some of it but I think I was almost having a mild panic attack as I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, I did the tapping balance at least 3 or 4 times which worked for a bit them before I realised I was back rabbiting away to myself again. I tried thinking through the opening of some of Suzanne Robichaud’s meditations and that completely calmed me down only to find a few minutes later the chatter came back.
Am I now officially insane?!? Talking to myself in the middle of the night?!? Those who hear my on a daily basis can only imagine what it’s like to listen to all night. 🙈🙉🙊
I think this is what it’s all about……
Something I asked for a while back did arrive very suddenly and it’s swept my feet out from under me.
So I had all the patience in the world when it came to my future. I knew it would be ok. I knew it would all work out. I always knew. I had patience when I had nothing.
I now have two jobs…. my attitude leaves a lot to be desired, let me tell you….. 🤦🏻♀️
I am all over the place. ALL OVER THE PLACE.
I know it’s irrational.
Gone is the credit that I should be giving myself for having 2 jobs and being busy. Replaced with a baseball bat that I am hammering myself with.
I have this thing that I need to get everything done so that I can relax. I can’t relax until everything is done. (:same thing yep) If this means getting up earlier and working longer just to get some chill time then so be it. I need to remember that the stress involved with juggling all this is the only reason I need the rest.
This next one is part of the problem. I don’t know precisely where I am going and that bothers me.
I am stressing on the journey rather than savouring it. Boom…. hits nail on head with said hammer. 🔨 (actually it was a baseball bat….)
Lovely early morning walk with Bhruic and Freya this morning as Calaidh is away to the groomers this morning. it is beautiful but it is FREEZING!!!!! Absolutely Baltic!
Went to collect Calaidh from BrawCuts Grooming in Barmill. Auntie Megan did a great job. She’s all floofy and fluffy!!!
So I’ve spent the rest of the day making calls and hanging out washing also had a cuppa with (and moaned at) Claire, chatted with (moaned at) mum on the phone. You get the drift.
Thanks for staying with me with me while I moan again.
You’ll be glad to know I booked Kinesiology for tomorrow night as I need this Tasmanian devil tornado if stress to calm the f right down. ‘Scuse French. Needs must.
Maybe my mood today has just been like the weather, blowing hot and cold. All day.
Stay safe everyone 🙉🙊🙈