His 7.30 alarm went off this morning and he just said “ok smart arse” and fell back to sleep!!! I KNOW the women reading this blog as screaming “for gods sake just turn the alarms off, how hard can it be?!?!” 😬 I’m kind of enjoying that smug feeling every morning….
So yes… I’m awake. I read lots of motivational stuff this morning, got up feeling tired but good. Starting clearing the kitchen and then Bhru was sick on the sunroom floor….. my anxiety kicked in and started harassing me so I thought I’d start writing this and it’s not even 9am.
I’ve done this a few times in the last year and it was NOT easy. I berate myself for it and yet I need this space. I need to set boundaries for my own healing but at times I hate myself for it. My anxiety tells me I’m wrong, that I’ve hurt people unnecessarily and I am riddled with the fear, worry, I’m missing out on their lives, what if this…. what if that….
Craig realised I was mulling all this round this morning so dragged me to help with a clear out of all his old clothes. Obvious it was my idea in the first place given the clear out of had a few weeks back…..
That was just the start of it! We then moved on to the loft……
While it seemed like a good idea, I was not fully ready however…… which means kind of half way through when everything was outside the loft, I freaked at the mess and wish we’d never bothered!!!
That said, we have 3 suitcases full of clothes, 1 large travel bag full of shoes, old camping stuff etc for charity and 3 boxes of dvds…. the boxes that are back in the loft all have notes in them to say what they are. They need going through at a later date but at least they are tidied. It was a successful day despite my panic at the mess!!!!!
Came home and had a shower, washed my hair and used my Christmas smelly stuff. Then settled down in front of the fire to watch a movie.
At 7pm we had an Avery family zoom quiz!
That does not mean that we are winning but that’s ok. This is the new 2020 evening entertainment!
So I’ve been a bit all over the place today but I’m much calmer now. It’s funny how my anxiety can take over and tell me that I’m wrong….
Stay safe everyone ♥️♥️♥️